


It is our choices

by bumblebee_5n4p3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:24:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 301,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblebee_5n4p3/pseuds/bumblebee_5n4p3
Summary: Snape survives DH, but Harry believes him to be dead. What will happen when they meet nineteen years later? Explores the lives of Harry and Snape post DH and how their friendship unfolds. This story is complete and all chapters will be posted over the coming week.





	1. The Truth...

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The rights to all of the Harry Potter characters, the magical world and the Harry Potter cannon on which I have based this story were created and are strictly owned by JK Rowling. Furthermore, the name of my story and each of the titles given to the chapters within this piece of work are all quotes that have been spoken by a character in the Harry Potter novels. I do not own these quotes and have used them to reflect the plotline/theme of each of the chapters to which they refer. Although a majority of the plot line has been created by me, the characters, settings, spells etc are all a part of JK Rowling’s creation, not mine.
> 
> 'It is our choices' was completed over a 2 year period between June 2017 and July 2009 and was posted on fanfiction.net at that time under an alternative username (i.e. bumblebee88888). This story has also been published on Wattpad under my current username (bumblebee_5n4p3).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I look forward to receiving any feedback or comments :)
> 
> Happy reading! Bee xo

Ear-piercing screams chilled the air. Snape’s heart jumped every time someone yelled in pain. He felt like a coward sitting rigidly at his desk, but he knew better than to enter the fray; he could vividly imagine the look on the Dark Lord’s face if he saw Snape protecting someone from the Order, but killing someone fighting against Voldemort was also out of the question. Snape had to admit to himself that he was slightly- only slightly afraid that he would foolishly blow his cover, even though he had managed to maintain his apparent loyalty to the dark side for many years. But even the slightest possibility of being caught out by Voldemort was a risk that Snape was not willing to take. Therefore, he needed to keep out of the way and only enter the fray if the Dark Lord ordered him to do so.  
As if on cue, a tall, pointed nosed man entered the dungeon out of breath, his blonde-white hair aloof around his face.  
“I have been looking everywhere for you, Severus!” the man announced, clearly angry.  
“Why have you been looking for me, Lucius?” Snape asked looking the man up and down, realizing that not only did his fellow Death Eater look exhausted but positively unwell. His eyes were swollen and his face was slightly bruised, Snape would not have been surprised if Lucius hadn’t slept in days. “You look ill, Lucius.”  
“That is not of your concern, Snape. The Dark Lord wants you, he told me to find you fifteen minutes ago.”  
Snape gulped and started to shake slightly. Although he was expecting his master to call upon him soon, he had no idea why Voldemort would have a need of him and hoped it wasn’t because he was cowering in his study like a petrified animal.  
“Do you know why he has asked for me?” Snape asked, trying to sound indifferent as he rose from his chair and headed towards the door, however reluctantly.  
“No, how am I supposed to know such things Severus? You are his most trustworthy follower now; no doubt he wants you to do something important.”  
Snape walked out of his office contemplating the several possibilities, Lucius trailing behind him, still out of breath.  
“What were you doing in your office anyway? I thought you would be fighting.”  
Snape didn’t answer but increased his speed in an attempt to escape Lucius’ prying.  
“Where is the Dark Lord, Lucius?”  
“In the Shrieking Shack, but god knows why he chose that place as his hide out.”  
Snape nodded his head in agreement, but felt uneasy about meeting his master in such a confined space.  
Eventually, the two men approached the trunk of the Whomping Willow. Snape bid farewell to his companion and prodded the knot of the tree with a stick that was conveniently lying nearby. Slowly creeping up the stairs, the floor boards creaking as he climbed, he heard his master hissing to Nagini. Knocking on the door to the main bedroom, Snape’s heart began to pound against his chest; his fear was threatening to consume him.  
“You asked for me, my Lord?” Snape asked in polite interest as he transformed his face into what was hopefully a calm, unconcerned expression.  
“Ah, Snape,” Voldemort said maliciously, looking away from his snake to stare at Snape, “Yes, I ordered Lucius to find you because I have done enough waiting. It appears that Harry Potter is not going to approach me and I think it would be best if you went to find him.”  
Snape was taken aback; he expected a much worse assignment. However, he was still skeptical.  
“No offense my Lord, but weren’t you saying that you wanted to wait for the Potter boy to come to you, knowing that he would after seeing so many of his friends die for him?”  
“Yes, that was my original plan, but I am an impatient man- the boy has taken too much of my time already. I think it would be best if you captured him now before he is killed by some thoughtless individual.”  
Snape nodded, understanding perfectly where his master was coming from; he had seen the way Alecto and Amycus looked at the boy and wouldn’t put it past them to kill Harry, if only by ‘accident’. And yet, Snape was slightly nervous, finding Harry was one thing, but there was something else too…  
“Am I detecting a hint of fear, Severus?”  
“No my Lord, absolutely not.”  
“Good, because you are the best man for the job. As a professor here, you know the school better than most of my Death Eaters and seeing as you also taught the boy for six years I assume that you would have a greater chance of finding him and coaxing him into coming with you. Or do you think that I am mistaken?” Voldemort asked staring intently into Snape’s eyes.  
“No, my Lord, of course you are absolutely right. I will leave immediately to search for him.”  
“Very good Snape, but may I remind you, that if you fail to retrieve him or resort to killing the boy, your punishment will be… severe.” Voldemort smiled evilly at Snape, who repressed a shudder.  
As Snape turned to leave, his heart leaped when he saw Nagini out of the corner of his eye, nestling in her magical sphere.  
“Oh and Snape,” Voldemort added. “When I call for my Death Eaters, you will return here with the boy and I will kill him in front of you all, something I am sure you are much looking forward to.”  
“Do not worry my Lord; I will not deprive you or my fellow Death Eaters of that pleasure,” Snape answered, before he swept out of the shack, his heart hammering inside his chest.  
Thousands of ideas were flying through the man’s mind as he thought of what he had to do and what his master expected of him. I must find Potter. Yet Snape knew that was a long shot; how was he to find the boy when hundreds of people were currently fighting at Hogwarts?  
Suddenly, he had an idea. Turning the corner and bounding up the stairs, Snape skidded to a halt in front of the gargoyle that lead to the headmaster’s office, even though he was the rightful headmaster, he rarely inhabited it himself.  
“Dumbledore,” Snape panted at the statue.  
Taking the stairs three at a time, Snape let himself into the large, circular office.  
“Ah, Severus, what a pleasant surprise,” Dumbledore’s portrait asserted, smiling as he surveyed Snape over his half moon spectacles.  
“Albus, the Dark Lord has requested that I find Potter,” Snape panted at the portrait.  
The sparkle in Dumbledore’s magnificent eyes died, the old headmaster’s face became solemn.  
Not waiting for the man to reply, Snape continued.  
“He is going to call for me and if I don’t have Potter…” Snape shuddered, unable to complete his sentence.  
“Well, we must first take every precaution to ensure that, while he may torture you, he will not kill you.”  
“What are you speaking of, Albus? We are talking about the same wizard aren’t we? If the Dark Lord wants to kill me you know nothing will stop him.”  
“Ah, but that’s where you forget Voldemort’s weakness, Severus. You see, Tom believes he is superior to every man, woman and child and consequently will not waste his power and time killing you, a person who he believes incapable of finding Harry Potter. If you return empty handed my guess is that he will torture you, like he has many times previously, but he will not kill you himself.” Snape could feel his blood pressure rising, his anger was threatening to overflow; it was as if Dumbledore was explaining the logic behind one plus one equaling two. Snape, after all, was risking his life, not attempting to solve a mathematical question.  
“So what do you suggest I do, Albus?” Snape asked with his jaw clenched.  
“I think our best guess is that Voldemort will command Nagini to kill you because that way he can watch you die a painful death and also, it will give Nagini something to eat.”  
“You speak so carelessly of my life, Dumbledore! Have you no conscience?”  
“Of course I have a conscience, Severus, but you must understand the reality of the situation.”  
“So, you’re suggesting that I stock up on anti-venom antidotes and blood replenishing potions just incase Nagini doesn’t manage to kill me?” Snape retorted with a sneer, knowing too well that Nagini would never fail to do her master proud.  
Dumbledore smiled. “Yes, exactly my point, Severus.”  
Snape looked dumbfounded.  
“This is ridiculous…”  
“I know, but it is your only hope of surviving. If I am wrong and Voldemort decides to kill you by his own wand, then alas, my ideas continue to fail me. But if I am right, you may live, Severus.”  
“Fine, I will summon the required antidotes from my stores.”  
But something was preventing Snape from taking action; he could feel Dumbledore surveying him intently from his frame and knew what the man wished to discuss. As Snape expected, Dumbledore asked, “I assume you intend on telling Harry the message yourself?”  
“Yes.”  
“Do you think he will listen to you?”  
“I have a plan, Albus.”  
Dumbledore paused, contemplating Snape’s assertion. Finally he replied: “Well in that case, I will search for Harry. I will not be long…” and Dumbledore left his portrait.  
“Accio blood replenishing potions,” Snape said, his wand arm shaking slightly. About a minute later, five small bottles of red liquid flew into the palm of Snape’s outstretched hand. Pocketing them, Snape summoned his anti-venom stores. When each of the bottles were safely nestled in his pockets, he heard Dumbledore enter his portrait once again.  
“Severus, Harry is coming down the staircase from the first floor; he will be in the Entrance Hall at any moment.”  
Snape nodded in reply, his hands still shaking. While Dumbledore was absent, he had gone over the plan several times in his head, but he had no idea if it would work.  
Snape walked towards the door, hardly thinking about where he was going or what he was about to do.  
“Severus,” Dumbledore said as Snape put his hand on the door knob, “Good luck my friend.”  
Although Snape could tell that Dumbledore was worried and apprehensive, he was nevertheless reassured by the calm look the old man gave him.  
Snape nodded his head in response to the headmaster’s wishes and let himself out of the office, hoping that he would one day return.  
The complicated and risky mission Snape was determined to accomplish filled his mind so much so that he hardly noticed the many bodies lying motionlessly on the ground before him. Snape had one job and one job only and that was to find the Potter boy and tell him what he needed to know so that he could have a chance at defeating the Dark Lord once and for all. Having seen Nagini enclosed in her spherical cage just as Dumbledore had previously described, Snape knew he had to tell the boy soon; whether he liked it or not, the final battle was getting closer.  
Although Snape had a plan, he doubted it would work, but he knew that, for Dumbledore’s sake and for Lily’s, he had to at least try. Slowing his pace substantially, Snape descended the staircase leading to the Entrance Hall and saw Harry about ten meters away from the front doors. Remembering his plan, Snape whispered: “Expecto Patronum” and watched his silver doe fly out of his wand and gallop towards Harry as if enticing him to follow her.  
Snape breathed a sigh of relief when Harry took the bait and began to follow the doe towards the dungeons. Slowly and quietly, Snape crept behind his Patronus and the boy, hoping that no one would see him walking so stupidly down the corridor. When they finally reached the dungeons, Snape had to leap behind a pillar when Harry turned around to see if anyone was nearby before entering Snape’s classroom. Thankfully, Severus’ plan was working as well as he could have hoped. But the difficult part was still to come.  
Snape peered around the door and into the room where he saw the boy patting his Patronus. Snape couldn’t help but sneer; it seems the boy has lost all sense of rationality- if he had any to start with. There is a war occurring and he takes his chances by following a mysterious Patronus? Careless, Potter, Snape thought to himself.  
Yet, for the first time in living memory, Snape was grateful for Harry’s stupidity.  
Walking into the room and closing the door behind him, Snape entered with as much caution as possible, preparing for Potter to attack him. Indeed Harry spun around, a mixture of fear and anger in his eyes, as Snape walked towards him, the Patronus disappearing through Harry’s fingers with a flick of Snape’s wand.  
“That Patronus is yours? It was you who led us to Gryffindor’s sword?” Harry asked dumbstruck.  
“Yes, Potter, but there are more important things to discuss right now.”  
“And why should I listen to you?” Harry demanded, raising his wand ready to fight.  
So the boy acknowledges that I helped him get the Sword of Gryffindor, yet he still doesn’t trust me?  
Snape shook his head; already he was becoming impatient with the boy.  
“Listen, I don’t have time for your doubts and pointless questions. The Dark Lord has sent me to find you and bring you to him so that he can murder you in front of his Death Eaters. He thinks that I am coming to find you and when my Dark Mark burns he expects me to return with you,” Snape stated in a matter-of-fact tone, not wishing to portray his concern and anxiety to the boy.  
“Well it looks like your plan worked. I’m right here where you want me, but I’m not coming without a fight!” Harry yelled brandishing his wand.  
“Don’t be stupid, Potter and lower your wand. I am not here to capture you. I wanted to find you so that I could pass on a message from Dumbledore-”  
“But you don’t think I’m that stupid to believe that you are still in contact with Dumbledore, do you? After you murdered him? After everything you have done?” Harry screamed. Snape watched as Harry continued to hold his wand in front of his body as if about to attack.  
“Put your wand away, Potter and listen to me very carefully. I am here to inform you that the night the killing curse rebounded off you and hit the Dark Lord, a bit of his soul broke apart from the whole and connected itself to you. This has given you the power to speak Parseltongue and gain a privileged insight into the Dark Lord’s thoughts-”  
“A privilege? Well, I don’t see it that way.” Harry replied sarcastically.  
“Enough of this, Potter! You must listen to me. Dumbledore made me promise to tell you that until that part of the Dark Lord’s soul has been eradicated from your body and destroyed, he cannot die.”  
Harry froze, evidently processing the information his ex-professor had given him.  
“I don’t believe-”  
“You not believing me is not an option, Potter! As long as you promise me that you will heed my advice and act upon the knowledge I have given you, then I don’t care what you do or what you say to me! You must understand that someone needs to be told exactly how to defeat the Dark Lord because by the sound of things, that person will not be you,” Severus concluded with finality.  
“But-”  
“I- we, don’t have time to argue about this!” Snape yelled, but then paused in thought; knowing Potter he’ll need evidence. He may blindly follow a Patronus, but he won’t believe me, the man who killed Albus Dumbledore, without substantial proof… Finally, Snape’s mind was made up.  
“Here, take this.” Aggressively, Snape pulled out his wand, to which Harry flinched and raised his own wand.  
“I’m not going to attack you, Potter!” Raising his wand to his temple, Snape extracted several memories from his mind and placed them neatly into a vial, corked it and handed it to Harry.  
“If you get the chance, go to Dumbledore’s office and look at these memories. They will explain everything...” A fleeting feeling of embarrassment and fury escaped Snape as he remembered the day he found Harry deep into his worst memory. But Snape forced himself to push it aside; there were more important things to consider.  
“Everything you want to know will be there; we don’t have the time to discuss it.”  
Harry was evidently worried and on the verge of panic as he glanced at Snape and then the vial held tightly in his hand. “Voldemort’s at Hogwarts- I have a job to do! I don’t have time to look at these!”  
“Then don’t! My sole concern is that you listen to me and ensure that someone knows of your plan, because otherwise the Dark Lord will never be defeated!”  
“So, you’re really not going to take me to Voldemort?” Harry confirmed, his eyes wide with shock.  
“No, Potter. I will return empty handed and likely be tortured and killed for my efforts so that you or someone else will have the chance to defeat the Dark Lord once and for all. Do not allow my sacrifice to be in vain, Potter!”  
“So, you are on my side?” Harry whispered.  
“Yes.”  
Harry paused, clearly contemplating this significant discovery about his ex-professor. “Why did you change sides?” Harry asked, suddenly skeptical once again.  
Snape flinched as the Dark Mark burnt black on his arm. Both Harry and Snape stared at it, not immediately recognising the significance of the mark. Suddenly realising how much time they were wasting, Snape said, “Potter, the Dark Lord will be on a rampage once he realizes I haven’t brought you with me. He will search for you. Make sure you tell someone what must be done before he finds you.”  
Harry nodded, clearly surprised that Snape was in fact going to return to Voldemort without him. Yet there was something else that was disturbing Harry even more than Snape’s loyalty.  
“Why is your Patronus a doe?”  
“It isn’t important; you must go- I must go!”  
“But-”  
“We’ll talk about it later, now go!”  
“But what if we don’t get to talk later?”  
“Go!”  
Harry ran towards the door, but paused in mid-motion as if he wanted to say something further.  
Snape felt a mixture of fury and anxiety; didn’t the boy understand that a war was occurring and that efficiency was of vital importance?  
When Harry spoke however, Snape was not expecting the words that escaped the boy’s mouth.  
“I’m sorry-”  
“Go, Potter!” Snape yelled as he watched Harry run from his office.  
Snape stared at his Dark Mark lost in thought. You know there is no way out; just keep your head high… remain loyal to Lily.  
As he ran from his office towards the Shrieking Shack, Snape saw Harry running up the staircase towards the Headmaster’s office. Snape genuinely hoped the boy would have enough time to see his memories because deep, deep down, he wanted Harry to know the truth: who he was and what he had done. Yet Snape couldn’t help but be grateful that he would never have to explain his feelings to the boy and consequently, for the first time in living memory, Snape appreciated the way the Dark Lord punished his followers.  
Feeling slightly optimistic, Snape whispered, “Good luck, Potter” as he continued to run towards his master’s headquarters.


	2. ...death is but the next great adventure...

Panting, Snape sprinted towards the Whomping Willow, hoping that Voldemort wouldn’t realise how long it took him to answer his summon. As he walked towards the door of the main bedroom, he could hear- feel the presence of the Dark Lord’s many Death Eaters, congregating in excitement. The image disgusted Snape so much so that he didn’t even realise he was feeling sympathy for the boy.  
“Ah, at last Snape- I don’t see the boy with you.” Voldemort looked livid as he immediately captured Snape’s eyes, apparently doing some vicious Legilimency. Snape remained as calm as possible, trying to stop the worry, anxiety and fear from taking over his mind. He needed to remain calm and indifferent. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Voldemort tore his eyes away from Snape’s; he seemed satisfied that he was not being lied to.  
“Enlighten me with the pathetic reason as to why the boy isn’t with you.”   
“I spent the last half an hour looking for Potter, but with so many fighters, it was impossible to find him, my Lord. Please allow me to go back and-” Snape stopped speaking when he saw the evil grin violently spreading across his master’s face.  
“No Snape, you shall not leave my sight again for I have learnt that you are incapable of capturing the boy. So, for failing to obey orders, I think we’d,” indicating his Death Eaters, “love to see you punished. And of course, as you know, I delight punishing wrongdoers.” Although Voldemort was smiling, none of the other Death Eaters mimicked his expression except Bellatrix, who seemed greatly amused by her master’s fetish for brutal punishment. Snape, on the other hand, felt his heart racing inside his chest, sweat building up on his palms and wished the Dark Lord would skip the punishment and cut to the chase- death.  
“But before I get started, there is one other thing I must take care of.” As Voldemort raised his wand, Snape was prepared to be hit with the Cruciatus curse, but was somewhat relieved when Voldemort pressed the point of the wand to his own throat and muttered, “Sonorous.”  
“Harry Potter! I am surprised at your selfishness! You have let many of your fellow fighters die at the hand of my Death Eaters without even showing up for the battle yourself! I am tired of waiting! I give you half an hour to meet me in the dark forest. If you choose not to show up, I will enter the fray myself! You know I have no mercy!” A few screams echoed around Hogwarts grounds, undoubtedly people feared even more for their lives, now that Voldemort may be joining the battle.  
Voldemort spun around to face Snape again, his red eyes gleaming in the wand light of his fellow Death Eaters who had lighted their wands upon entering the shack. Snape normally prided himself on his ability to keep an indifferent facial expression but somehow that mechanism was failing him at present. Snape knew he would be severely tortured for not capturing Harry Potter and couldn’t believe he had sacrificed his life and sanity for the boy he has loathed for nearly seven years.  
“I hope this will remind you that no one fails to obey my orders and gets away with it! CRUCIO!”  
Snape began to writhe on the hard wooden floor as if having a seizure. Even though he had been tortured by his master before, it was never this painful. Usually he would be able to keep reasonably composed: grinding his teeth and groaning quietly, but at this moment, such composure was impossible. Snape began to scream and for many of the Death Eaters, they were witnessing a distressing moment. Although, many of the people in the room had watched several of their peers being tortured at the hand of the Dark Lord, none of them had ever seen Snape interact with their master, let alone tortured under the Cruciatus curse. Seeing their spy, Voldemort’s upper-hand follower being tortured was an eye-opener, a daunting, somewhat traumatizing sight to witness.  
Snape continued to twitch and scream. It felt like his muscles were tearing away from his bones and that if he yelled any longer his throat would tear from the intensity of his pain. Opening his eyes slightly, Snape saw Voldemort bearing over him, laughing his high pitched laugh of no mercy. To the Dark Lord’s left was Lucius who seemed abnormally pale and wide eyed as he watched his friend being tortured before him. Snape noticed, for a split second, that Lucius seemed almost on the verge of telling his master to stop, but realised that not even Lucius would be that foolish of a man. Closing his eyes in an effort to block out the pain, Snape resumed screaming, wishing that the pain would stop. He wanted to die.

*****

Harry had just left the contents of the Pensieve when he heard Voldemort’s commanding voice echoing around Hogwarts grounds. So Voldemort was becoming impatient was he? Well now that Harry knew everything Dumbledore wanted him to know, he felt it was time to face his destiny.   
Although Voldemort’s orders occupied his mind momentarily, Harry was soon absorbed with the Pensieve and what he had seen- Snape’s memories. But Harry was not concerned with the conversations the man had with Dumbledore, but his relationship with Lily. Harry was shocked that his original assumptions surrounding his potions master were so false; he had always thought of Snape as an angry, bitter man as they were the only emotions he ever saw him express. If someone told him, prior to seeing the memories, that Snape had loved someone, he would have denied it whole heartedly, perhaps even laughed. But it wasn’t that Snape loved Lily, it was that he loved her so much that he, a Slytherin, would do anything for her. As far as Harry could see, that was love at its highest level and although Dumbledore always asserted Harry’s great capacity to love, he wondered if Severus Snape would be able to match him, possibly beat him. However, what disturbed Harry the most was after all this time, neither Dumbledore nor Snape ever mentioned that Lily and Snape were friends let alone best friends and potential lovers. Although Snape made Dumbledore promise not to divulge his past to anyone, it strangely offended Harry that Snape did not trust him with such information; he really would have liked to have known- as strange as it would have been, at least he would have had some reassurance that Snape was in fact on the Order’s side.  
Harry never thought he would feel sorry for Snape, but as he left the headmaster’s office, he truly hoped, for the first time in his life, that he would see Snape again; to tell him that he saw the memories and was sorry that he too, was a part of the plan for the ‘greater good’. But most of all, he really wanted to talk about his mother, though he could hardly imagine Snape speaking to him about something so personal, he really wanted to know more about Lily.  
Looking at his watch, Harry’s heart leapt realizing he only had ten minutes until half an hour was up and he still needed to tell someone about killing Nagini. Running past many dead bodies, Harry tried to block the terrifying images from his mind as he jumped down the many flights of stairs, pushed open the large, oak doors and onto the lawn. Ahead he saw Neville who had just stunned a Death Eater and looked very pleased with himself.  
“Hey, Harry! Are you okay? You look pale.” Neville asked, concerned.  
“Yeah, I’m fine Neville. But I need you to do me a favour.”  
“Sure Harry, anything.”  
“Do you know Nagini? Voldemort’s pet snake?”  
“Yeah, I know he has one.”  
“Okay, well if you get the chance you must kill the snake. Hermione and Ron already know this, but incase they are occupied with something else and you get the chance, promise me you’ll try to kill her.”  
“Absolutely Harry, I promise, but why?”  
Ignoring the question, Harry replied: “Thanks, Neville.” Giving his friend a warm smile, Harry continued to walk towards the forest, remembering that death is but the next great adventure. He really hoped Dumbledore was right…

*****

“Because I am such a generous, merciful master, I’ll give you a break, Snape; we wouldn’t want you to go insane like the Longbottoms would we?”   
With that, Bellatrix let out a squeal of laughter, rubbing her hands together as if relishing the memory of the pain she inflicted upon Alice and Frank Longbottom.  
Snape was relieved that the Dark Lord had finally stopped, if only for a moment. He needed to catch his breath. Although he couldn’t exactly prevent himself from screaming, he never realised until then, how exhausting it was. Every bone in his body ached and he felt sure that another round of Crucio would surely finish him off. He hoped it would.  
“My Lord! Harry Potter is running into the forest!” asserted Yaxley, as he continued to watch Harry from the window.  
“Has it been half an hour already? Well, Snape, to be honest I am surprised you have survived this long.” Snape didn’t answer, but silently agreed with his master, he couldn’t believe it either.  
“Well what are you all waiting for? Get out of here! We must meet the boy before he escapes again!” All of the Death Eaters scrambled to get out of the room and down the passage way, hoping to get to the clearing first and a better view of what was about to occur: one of the greatest wizarding battles of all time. When all except Voldemort, Nagini and Snape had left, the Dark Lord kicked Snape on his side, coaxing him to get up and follow the rest. Snape groaned saying, “my Lord, I’ll be there in a minute, I just need-”  
“Do you think you have the permission to take a break? To rest a little, perhaps? No, Snape! If you fail to obey me for a second time, then I have no other choice.” Snape closed his eyes, praying that the Dark Lord was about to kill him.  
“I do regret this, Snape; you truly have been a valuable asset, but I only accept the best, the most loyal and tonight you have failed to impress me,” Voldemort whispered menacingly.  
Snape opened his eyes when he heard the hissing noises that followed and looked up at Nagini who was been released from her magical sphere. Although Snape had no idea what Voldemort ordered the snake to accomplish he had no doubt that Nagini’s objective was to kill. Snape could feel the cold blooded creature sliding towards him along the wooden floor. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Dark Lord whisk out of the room, his black cloak traveling behind him, laughing as he left. Turning to his other side, Snape saw Nagini slithering towards him. Too weak to move, Snape felt helpless as he lay on the ground waiting for the inevitable. Although he had the blood replenishing potions and anti-venom in his pockets, he knew they would not be of any use if Nagini was ordered to eat him for dinner.  
A loud hiss from the snake told him she was about to strike and sure enough, the sharp pincers dug into his shoulder as if his skin and bones were nothing but sand. Snape screamed as the snake venom began to coarse through his body; he could feel his muscles tensing up and his warm blood oozing out of the bite.   
Hoping that the snake would take another bite to finish the job, Snape was disappointed when she disappeared.   
At first, Snape didn’t understand what had happened, but soon realised that if Harry was putting up any sort of fight, Voldemort would want his snake beside him, to keep her safe. No doubt, Voldemort expected Nagini to have completed her job and, like Dumbledore had guessed, Tom would never have considered that someone as useless and disobedient as Severus could ever find a way to survive an attack by Lord Voldemort.

Realising that he had a chance of survival, Snape spent a few seconds contemplating if he wanted to survive. He knew that the injury to his shoulder was serious, but unfortunately not serious enough to cause death in a matter of minutes; it may take an hour for him to die and Snape wasn’t sure he wanted to suffer for so long. Concluding that he wanted to live, at least for now (if Voldemort found out he was still alive, then he’d probably regret his choice), Snape tore a section off his robes and held it to his wound to prevent any more blood loss. However, the effort it took to hold the material in place was using up most of the man’s energy. Taking deep breaths, Snape used his legs and body to maneuver himself into a sitting position. One by one, Snape reached into his pocket to retrieve his blood replenishing potions and anti-venom. Using his wand, which was surprisingly still intact after all of his writhing and thrashing, Snape uncorked all of the bottles and downed each of them, not caring about the disgusting taste that filled his insides whenever he swallowed. Continuing to breathe deeply, Snape waited in silence for the potions to have some effect on him. Eventually, the man felt he had enough energy to crawl pathetically across the ground towards the door.

It took only five minutes for Snape to reach the entrance to the Whomping Willow, but to the man it felt like an eternity as it was a very slow process. Finally touching the cool grass, Snape rested, still holding the now damp piece of cotton on his wound. Now that he was out in the open, he feared that Voldemort may find him and possibly subject him to even more torture before killing him in what would hopefully be a painless death. But disobeying the Dark Lord by not dying as he ordered would likely prompt Voldemort to ask Greyback to do his dirty work for him. Snape shuddered at the thought.   
Slowly, Snape slid further and further away from the Whomping Willow, although he did not know exactly who he could turn to. If the Death Eaters found out he was alive, he would undoubtedly be dead within moments, because while Voldemort’s followers were loyal to their master, they were hardly loyal to each other. There was no way he could return to the Hogwart’s staff or the Order of the Phoenix after he ‘murdered’ Dumbledore the previous year. He especially didn’t like the look on Minerva McGonagall’s face when he asked to see Harry back in the castle, it was clear that she was not about to forgive him any time soon. Unfortunately, the only person Snape could potentially turn to was Potter, but the likelihood of him surviving his trip into the forest, Snape knew, was slim.   
As if on cue, an escalation of cheers was heard from the forest, and knowing that Harry would not have brought a cheer squad to his death, he assumed that Voldemort had won. Although he hoped the boy would be victorious over the Dark wizard, he never really believed it possible. The prophecy is one thing, but a mediocre wizard beating one of the best of all time, was another. Although Snape was beginning to admit that Harry deserved more credit for his achievements, he was not willing to accept Harry’s defeat over Voldemort, as much as he would like for it to happen, he knew it was foolish, wishful thinking, something that Albus Dumbledore was renowned for.  
Suddenly a large man was seen walking solemnly out of the forest. Snape tried to focus his eyes, but it was difficult due to the tears of pain that were blurring his vision. He wished he hadn’t spent so much time thinking about the boy; it seemed to have drained most of his energy. Concentrating on the man once again, he noticed the stature belonged to Hagrid and that a limp body was lying in his arms.   
Potter.  
This realization caused Snape’s thoughts to drift: not to death or to Voldemort, but to Harry and whether the boy had the opportunity to look at his memories. If so, he hoped Harry died knowing that he, Severus Snape, was only trying to help. 

Realising that all hope was lost, Snape passed out.


	3. ...with your head held high

Slowly, Snape’s black eyes opened. In the distance, he could see many people gathering around Hagrid and Harry’s dead figure lying on the ground. Snape made to touch his head with his hand and realised he had a terrible migraine, his head felt heavy and a loud, thundering beat pulsated in his mind. He tried to sit up, but his body was too weak and unable to balance itself properly. Eventually, Snape gave up trying and resumed to his pathetic position upon the soil. In the distance he heard screams of both anguish and fear. Seeing their hero lying dead upon the ground must have terrified and upset many of the witches and wizards fighting at Hogwarts. Everyone’s hopes would be lost and, Snape realised, that meant Voldemort’s permanent reign over the Wizarding world. He heard sobbing, loud, anguished sobs from people who barely knew the boy, weeping not for Harry Potter but for what they were about to lose because of his failure. Snape was furious, though he tried to prevent himself from feeling any real anger; it seemed that his migraine became more powerful whenever he felt any amount of emotion. He was angry, however and although he tried to deny it, he realised that a majority of the people gathered around Harry were selfishly crying out of fear, not because the boy had died but because he had failed. They, like Dumbledore saw Harry as a part of the plan. They may have expected the boy to die, but in dying, they wanted him to destroy Voldemort too. To Snape, however, the Potter boy gave it his best shot and as Snape always asserted, he never really stood a chance…

Staring into the distance towards the forest, Severus suddenly noticed two figures walking towards him. Snape’s heart began to race as he realised he would easily be seen if anyone were to look in his direction. He also knew that he was too weak to hide before they reached him, so lay still hoping that the people approaching him would not turn him in to Voldemort. As their figures became clearer, Snape recognised the person on the right… Lucius; he knew that long blonde hair and pointed stature from anywhere. To the man’s right he saw a tall, thin woman and although he didn’t know for sure, he hoped that the second figure was Narcissa. Breathing deeply, Snape tried to keep calm. Although he knew that Narcissa was not a Death Eater, she was still supportive of the Dark Lord, as was her husband. Remembering the way Lucius looked in the Shrieking Shack when he watched his master’s torturing spree, Snape hoped that Lucius may spare his life and keep his survival a secret.  
“Who’s there?” Lucius demanded as he held up his lit wand and shone it on Snape’s face.  
“Lucius…”  
“Severus? The Dark Lord said he killed you!” Narcissa was beside herself and looked at her husband for an explanation. She was not present in the shack and perhaps felt she was betrayed by her husband for lack of details.  
“He sent Nagini to kill me, but summoned her before she could finish the job,” Snape said quietly.  
“So, you survived?” Lucius interjected, apparently amazed by his friend’s luck.  
“Obviously, Lucius.” Snape’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.  
“If the Dark Lord finds out-”  
Snape looked into Lucius’ eyes and saw the fear that was often present when the blonde Death Eater was either in his master’s presence or otherwise about to disobey him.  
“Lucius, he is ill, we need to help him,” Narcissa asserted. Snape continued to stare into his friend’s eyes, hoping against all reason that Lucius would heed his wife’s assertion; he was too weak to speak.  
“But if the Dark Lord found out that I-”  
“He won’t; he’s so excited that he killed the Potter boy that he won’t notice your absence.” Lucius still looked unsure. Snape noticed Narcissa wringing her hands and recognised the action, not on the woman but among children and house elves; it means they’ve done something wrong.  
“What is it, Narcissa?” Snape whispered, he voice weak and pathetic.  
“What? Nothing,” Narcissa replied quickly. If Snape were well enough he would have tried to use Legilimency against her, but he knew that such an attempt at the present moment would be futile.  
“I don’t want to leave you here by yourself, we need to look for Draco,” Lucius told his wife, yet Snape knew that wasn’t the reason why he wanted to stay- Lucius was still afraid of capture- a coward.  
“Don’t worry Lucius. The Dark Lord is distracted; he won’t notice your absence. I’ll go ahead and look for Draco and you can go home, help Severus and then return here. It won’t take long…” She looked at Severus and began to worry for the man. Although she didn’t know him that well, she did trust Snape and was grateful to him for helping her son the previous year even though Draco refused his assistance.  
“But-”  
“He made an Unbreakable Vow with me last year! He protected our son!” Snape could feel himself losing consciousness due to the continued loss of blood; he needed medicine, a remedy- he needed to get away from Hogwarts grounds. He hoped that Narcissa would be able to convince her husband to help him, but was so near blacking out that to him, there wasn’t much difference between living and dying anyway.  
“But what about the Dark Lord, Narcissa?”   
“Who cares about him? He’s so happy that the boy is dead that he won’t even give a second thought to Severus and yourself.”  
“Perhaps,”  
“Lucius, he protected our son and made sure that he didn’t get hurt! We owe him something!”  
“But,”  
“You can take him back to the manor and tell the house elf to attend to him and I’ll go into the castle and look for Draco.”  
“But what if Draco is-”  
“He’s not!” Narcissa replied hysterically, staring immediately at the ground, looking ashamed as if her outburst was indecent.  
“Okay, fine. But if I am caught, you know the Dark Lord will kill me.”  
“I know, but who’s to say he won’t kill us all anyway? Help your friend. I’ll cover for you if the Dark Lord asks. I’ll look for our son.”  
Lucius nodded and walked towards Snape who was so close to passing out that he could only just hear the conversation taking place between the man and woman before him.  
“Come on, Severus. Let’s be quick before we are captured, tortured and killed.”  
Snape used his last ounce of energy to stand up for Lucius, so that he could place the injured man’s arm over his shoulder and support him beyond the Whomping Willow and into an area where they could Apparate to the Malfoy Manor.  
Although Snape’s brain was telling his legs to move- to walk, his limbs continued to crumble beneath his weight. He could hear Lucius swearing quietly under his breath, but eventually pulled himself together and encouraged Snape to continue walking.  
“Keep walking, Severus; we’re almost there.”   
Out of the corner of his eye, Snape could see the field where he knew McGonagall’s charms no longer prevented Apparition. The small amount of adrenalin that coursed through his veins gave Snape the extra amount of energy and motivation he needed to walk that little bit further for Lucius. Snape twisted his head to look at his rescuer and saw that Lucius looked fearful and worried; his bruises and puffy eyes still apparent on his thin, pale face. He was grateful that the man gave in to his wife; it showed that Lucius, despite his often selfish behaviour, was still his friend. However, Snape was beginning to feel bad for Lucius because, as he struggled towards the field he felt like he wanted to die; he couldn’t be bothered to continue forward; there was nothing waiting for him except a life- a world controlled by the Dark Lord.  
After what felt like many hours, they finally made it to the clearing.

Snape hardly knew what was happening. He could feel Lucius’ body next to him, hauling him to the front door of the Malfoy Manor. Muttering spells under his breath, his wand in his left hand, supporting Snape with his right, the door allowed the two men to enter. Lucius practically dragged Snape towards one of the many guest rooms on the left hand side of the house. Laying him down on the large king sized bed, Snape began to relax, however his breath was quick and short; he needed help.  
“Greagor! Come here!” Lucius commanded. Snape was hardly conscious, his eyes closed as he heard his friend’s voice echoing from what seemed like miles away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a house elf enter the room, his bat-like ears flapping madly in an effort to impress his master with his efficiency.  
“Greagor, this is Severus Snape. He has been bitten by a poisonous snake and needs medical assistance. You are to obey his every order until I return, understand?”  
“Yes, Master.”  
“Also, I forbid you to tell anyone that Mr. Snape is here. If you do, you will be tortured and then receive clothes.”  
The little elf shuddered at the prospect. It was clear to Snape that the elf wasn’t about to disobey.  
“Okay, Snape. I must leave before the Dark Lord realises I have gone. Hopefully Narcissa, Draco and I will return soon. Rest.” Lucius was looking somewhat harshly at his fellow Death Eater, as if telling him that after all he has risked, he had better get well and soon.  
Snape nodded. Lucius seems satisfied and left the room, the front door slamming behind him.  
“How may I be helping you, Mr. Snape?”  
“I- I- need you to clean my wound.” Snape couldn’t believe how weak he was feeling, how weak he sounded. Immediately the house elf left the room and returned with a warm bucket of water, a sponge and towel.  
“Please sit up, Mr. Snape.”  
Snape winced as he tried to use his arms to lever himself into a sitting position. The little house elf helped the man sit up and began to dab at his wound, washing the dried blood away from the area.   
“Greagor thinks the bite is clean now, Mr. Snape. What would you like me to put on it?”  
“Uh, I do not know,” Snape was surprised by his own incompetence, but he was just too tired, too weak to give an educated answer, “Anything you have that you think would work.”  
“Right away, sir.” And the little house elf left the room in a hurry, coming back with a bottle full of clear liquid and bandages.  
“Greagor is back with the disinfectant, Mr Snape. Please hold still while I put some on your shoulder.” Snape was half asleep but could still feel the breath of the creature near his face. Bracing himself slightly, Snape clenched his jaw and tightly closed his eyes, knowing that such a deep bite would not mix well with the medicine.  
“Ah!” Snape winced and pulled his arm away from the elf.  
“Mr. Snape must allow Greagor to help him or his bite will get infected.”  
“No, I’m fine…” Snape was trying to ignore the intense stinging sensation, but it wasn’t working. Taking deep breaths he tried to focus on something else as the elf pulled Snape’s arm towards him, the man too weak to resist.  
After a few more painful minutes, Snape’s injury was bandaged and the man was given some more anti-venom by the elf, who then requested:  
“If you need anything else from Greagor, please ask.” Snape nodded and the elf left, closing the door behind him.

*****

Harry made an effort to stand before Voldemort, strong, still and calm, but it wasn’t easy. He knew he wanted to be there, that he wasn’t being dragged into this fight. After everything the Dark wizard had done to the wizarding world and to the many people he knew and loved, Harry was not about to cower from the fight before him.  
Nevertheless, Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest; he knew that this was the moment- the final showdown. Standing in the Entrance Hall, he could feel hundreds of eyes upon him. Lord Voldemort was directly opposite him, looking into Harry’s eyes, with fear etched all over his face. If the situation was not so serious and deadly, Harry would have laughed at the sight; it wasn’t often that Voldemort was afraid, but now wasn’t the time to find humour in the situation. It seemed that Voldemort was thinking about something, some form of strategy. Harry quickly took the opportunity to look around the area and noticed Narcissa Malfoy sliding past the scene and up the staircases. Harry had no trouble guessing where she was going- to find her son. He was slightly puzzled as to why Narcissa had lied to Voldemort in the forest when Harry was pretending to be dead, but realised that her son meant a lot to her and that she too, was capable of undying love.  
“Well Harry, the moment has finally come. We meet for the final time,” Voldemort stated in a deadly whisper.  
Harry jerked his head back in Voldemort’s direction; apparently the Dark Wizard had finally devised a strategy on how to defeat Harry.  
“Yes, well I hope this will be the last. Perhaps you should kill me properly… two failed attempts is a pretty poor effort if you-”  
“Yes, I must admit, my previous efforts have been half hearted, but no more. I will kill you now.”  
“You don’t get it do you, Voldemort? Don’t you understand that you can’t kill me? Haven’t your previous two attempts told you anything? There is too much love in this world and it’s unfortunate for you that you are not one of the billions of people who love, because if you were, you would have killed me years ago.”  
“What do you mean? I tried to kill you years ago!”  
“Yes, but it didn’t work because you forgot the power of sacrifice and love; that when my mother sacrificed her life to protect me her protection continued to reside within my veins. Had you realized that, you would have been able to devise another way of killing me rather than attacking me with the Avada Kedavra curse, to your demise. And then tonight; you forgot once again the power of love. You knew that I came to you in the forest, willing to die for every other wizard, witch and human being on this earth. Again my love thwarted you. So now we stand here and you think that there is a chance that THIS time I will die?”  
“You are not immortal, Harry Potter!”  
“I know that, but while you deny the power of love, people continue to thwart you and your plans.”  
“People? Since when are you more than one person?” Voldemort sneered at the big headedness of the ‘Chosen One’.   
Harry smiled as he replied: “There are many people who have lied to you, tricked you because of their love for another.”  
“Who are you referring to then? I want names.” Although Voldemort seemed composed and calm, Harry could tell he was worried. Having never being able to detect love, it is possible that more than one of his Death Eaters defied him in favour of those they love.  
“Severus Snape,” Harry proclaimed. Numerous members of the audience gasped and began to whisper. Harry was sure that all of the people in the room knew who Snape was and was probably shocked to hear the man loved someone.  
“Snape has never loved anyone!”  
“Yes he has. He was best friends with my mother and eventually fell in love with her. When he found out that you were going to come after me, and kill my mother and father if you had to, Snape turned to Dumbledore and has been working for him ever since.”  
“That’s impossible!”  
“Well it’s the truth! Just because you’ve been too arrogant to notice, doesn’t mean it’s impossible! Snape has been lying to you for years! He wasn’t your spy, he was Dumbledore’s!”  
“He killed Dumbledore!”   
“Yes, but Dumbledore was dying anyway; his hand was dead, the curse was spreading- you know, the one you put on your Grandfather’s ring- your Horcrux?” Voldemort’s red eyes flickered and Harry knew that the Dark Lord was scared, afraid that he may actually be defeated this time.  
“But Snape never knew about my Horcruxes.”  
“And he still doesn’t, but Dumbledore found out about them last year and has been hunting them down ever since.”  
“But I still have-”  
“No, Tom. You have none left. I and a few of the people here tonight have helped destroy them, so now it’s just you and me.”  
“But Snape hates you.” It was clear that Voldemort was still finding it hard to believe that Snape was indeed loyal to Dumbledore and the ‘Chosen One’.  
“He does hate me, but he loved my mother and would do anything for her and if that meant protecting her son then that’s what he’d do!”  
“I don’t believe you,” Voldemort stated as if merely saying the words would make Harry’s assertion a lie.  
“He asked you to spare her didn’t he? One would think that that would have been enough evidence for you, but you still didn’t realize what she meant to him. Killing my mother was the final straw; you showed no mercy towards the woman he loved, so he showed no loyalty to you.”  
“But Snape loved the Dark Arts; he was extremely proficient at Potions. I have seen his work! He wouldn’t waste that on Dumbledore.”  
“Well apparently it wasn’t a waste because he has helped me get this far and I will be thanking him wholeheartedly after I am finished with you.”  
Voldemort let out a high pitched laugh, chilling Harry to the bone.  
“Well it seems the ‘Chosen One’ doesn’t know everything. Severus Snape is dead, Potter; I killed him for not bringing you to me as I asked.”  
Harry paused momentarily. He couldn’t believe that Snape was dead, he just couldn’t. He was hoping to speak to the man about his mother and their past. He wanted more information and wasn’t willing to give that up so soon. He knew that Snape would have been tortured by his master, but to hear that he was actually dead from the murderer himself just made everything final. He would never get to speak to Snape again.  
“Are you mourning for the man, Potter?” Voldemort smirked.  
Harry shook himself from his reverie.  
“Come on, Tom! It’s time to end this! You have made too many mistakes that have concerned me, it is time you finished off the job and fulfill the prophecy!”  
Harry could tell the time was about to come as he watched Voldemort raised his wand. Time began to slow down as Harry saw Voldemort’s mouth move in a way that clearly pronounced the words ‘Avada Kedavra’.   
Harry retaliated immediately with his trademark, “Expelliarmus!”  
Harry knew what was about to happen and was not the least bit surprised when Voldemort’s wand flew out of the wizard’s hand and into his own. Harry saw the beam of green light, rebound off the location where the two wands and their spells collided into each other and watched the tall, thin body of Lord Voldemort collapse onto the ground.  
He was dead.  
Cheers exploded from the Entrance Hall as families, siblings, friends and teachers hugged one another, talking hysterically, finally celebrating the death of the Dark Wizard that was Lord Voldemort. Harry was smiling, the crazy smile that he often displayed when he won Quidditch or felt proud of himself. But something was different- his smile wasn’t completely genuine and he knew why.  
Ron ran up to Harry and patted his mate on the back, cheering with the rest. Hermione walked towards him, completely flabbergasted by what he had done and gave him a hug, clearly relieved that he was okay, that they all survived. Finally Ginny approached Harry and noticed his disturbance.  
“What’s wrong, Harry?”  
“Nothing,”  
“You’re not happy?”  
“I am, it’s just…” He didn’t quite know how to express what he was feeling, especially seeing as his friends only just found out about Snape’s true loyalties, he really wanted to make sure they understood where he was coming from. “Snape-”  
“Yeah, I loved it how you used that ploy as a way of tricking You-Know-Who.”  
Both Hermione and Ginny looked at Ron, not quite believing that he thought Harry actually lied to Lord Voldemort.  
“Ron, it wasn’t a lie; all of it was true. Snape did love my mother and he did give me the memories to look at. I saw them just before I went into the forest.”  
Ron’s jaw dropped dramatically.  
“What? That slimy git actually loved someone? That came out of nowhere!”  
“I know. But what is even more amazing is that silver doe we saw. That Patronus belonged to Snape.”  
“No… that’s bizarre, that is.”  
“Well it’s the truth. His Patronus represents the love he had for my mother; her Patronus was also a doe.” The four of them froze apparently deep in thought.  
“And Voldemort said he’s dead?” Hermione asked looking solemn.  
“Yeah…”  
“I bet you wanted to talk to him about it, huh?” Ron asked, not sure if he could hardly believe what he was saying.  
Harry nodded his head.  
“Don’t worry, Harry, at least we know the truth, his sacrifice won’t have been in vain,” Ginny reassured him.  
Harry nodded again; he couldn’t bring himself to speak.

“I cannot believe how many casualties there are; it is amazing that a majority of us survived. Can you imagine what would have happened if Voldemort entered the fray?” Hermione asked.  
Ginny nodded in agreement, staring into the laughing eyes of her brother, Fred. The four of them had begun to look at the bodies of casualties, allowing their deaths to sink in. Harry was most upset about Tonks, Remus and Fred; they had been with him all the way, given him support and advice. Tonks and Remus especially, they had a little boy to care for, his Godson, he couldn’t believe how one minute Teddy had two loving parents to having none at all, just like him when he was a year old. Harry didn’t know what was going to happen now that the war had ended, but hoped against all hope that one day everyone: the Weasleys, Hermione, the Order and himself will move on.  
“Do you think a funeral will be held for Remus and Tonks?” Ginny asked, teary eyed, knowing too well that a funeral for Fred would definitely occur.  
“I hope so, Ginny.” Hermione answered, blowing her nose.  
Ron nodded; it looked like he was about to be sick.  
“Come on, let’s go and find the others.” Harry said, pulling his friends away from the masses of bodies. Together, the four of them walked away from the casualties, preparing themselves for the moment when they would have to say goodbye and move on.


	4. ...there are things worth dying for

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to farewell two of the bravest and talented people to fight against He-who-must-not-be-named. Of course I am referring to Nymphadora and Remus Lupin. Together they gave birth to their son Teddy, and ensured that he had the best life they could afford him before they were both tragically killed during the Battle at Hogwarts. So, what can we say about Nymphadora? Well firstly, she would be jumping on me if she were here, demanding that I call her Tonks,” the minister paused for laughter, but only a few smiles appeared. “We all loved Tonks, if not for her bubbly personality or kind nature, then for her excellent Auror skills, despite her clumsiness.” The minister chuckled to himself quietly. “I do not think any of us will forget her metamorphagus abilities, especially her pink, bubblegum coloured hair and the way she would entertain others by changing her appearance. Her smile and laughter will always be remembered; she was strong, brave and extremely intelligent- a wonderful friend and fighter till the very end.” The minister looked up from his paper and saw a sea of faces, frowning, sobbing or otherwise looking at him blankly as if unable to comprehend his speech at all. But the minister was used to this reaction from mourners when they said goodbye to their loved ones. He sincerely hoped his speech was so far doing Tonks justice.  
Clearing his throat, the man continued.  
“Remus John Lupin was a kind, gentle and supportive friend who gave comfort and advice to those who needed it. Although it was greatly unfortunate that Remus was bitten by a werewolf when he was a young boy, for many of us, this affliction did not matter; he was still our friend and an amazing fighter for the Order of the Phoenix. It was through this organisation, founded by Albus Dumbledore, that Tonks and Remus met and although their relationship was instigated by Tonks, the feeling ultimately became mutual and passionate. I have been told that many here today, encouraged Remus to date Tonks, as his only reservation was his werewolf condition. It is perhaps their decision to marry that would remain with me the longest; not because it was, as many may argue, a foolish decision, but because they actively showed that it didn’t matter to them. They demonstrated that love can truly prevail over prejudice, discrimination and unfair judgment, that werewolves are human beings and deserve respect. For those of us who knew them, we were delighted by their marriage, considering them to be a perfect, happy couple despite their age differences and contrasting upbringings. Getting married at a time when the Dark Lord was still at large made us grateful that something so normal and delightful could occur during such a time. It saddens me that the pair of them did not get to raise their son, Teddy to the very end because all of us here know that they would have been great parents who would have demonstrated the values of love, fairness and understanding towards their child everyday. It is people like Tonks and Remus who make our world a better place and if they were still alive I am sure they would be tremendous ambassadors for all that is fair and just. But more than that, we will miss them for all that they have shown us: that love really conquers all that is evil or unjust and for that, we thank them from the bottom of our hearts. Remember Tonks and Remus for all that they were as individuals and as a couple. Perhaps they would be remembered most for their part in the defeat against You-know-who or for their son, of whom they raised so brilliantly up until their deaths. But I- I will remember them for fighting and tragically dying in pursuit of a better place for their child and the children of the next generation to grow up in. Their determination to rid the world of all that is dark and prejudiced, fighting for a kinder, more just place reminds me that although their deaths were tragic and perhaps unnecessary, they felt that there were some things worth dying for. And I can’t help but agree with them.”  
Silence seemed to echo around the field, rows upon rows of chairs were set out, flowers surrounding the area, the graves of Remus and Tonks in the distance. No one spoke, only an occasional sniffle sounded every now and then. The minister didn’t quite know what to make of the situation; normally someone would take over from him, but no one seemed willing to leave their seats. Realising that Tonks and Remus must have truly been wonderful people he felt deeply sorry for the hundred or so men and women sitting before him. Fidgeting slightly, the man decided to descend the stairs and walk to the side of the area so that hopefully someone would feel free to speak next. As he quietly walked away from the podium, he saw the boy who he knew to be Harry Potter sitting next to a young lady with red hair, who was crying quietly on his shoulder. Harry had his arms wrapped around the girl, trying to comfort her, but it did not seem to be helping as the girl continued to weep.   
Harry turned to face the man who was watching him, who had just spoken those kind words about Remus and Tonks. He was grateful that the minister did them both justice and looked at the man in such a way that hopefully showed him that he appreciated the beautiful speech he gave.  
The minister was still looking at Harry Potter, unable to tear his eyes away from the boy. Instead of thinking about the two people for whom the people around him were mourning, he realised that the boy in front of him was the reason the Dark Lord was gone forever, such a happy occasion. Yet the fight produced so many losses and the minister couldn’t help but feel sorry for the boy, so young and yet forced to experience so much death and tragedy. He smiled at the boy, ever so slightly, hoping that Harry Potter would not treat his gesture as something indecent to do at a funeral. The minister was glad when the boy smiled gently back, a tear falling down his cheek, no doubt a sign of his mourning. Finally the minister managed to pull his eyes away from Harry and made his way to the back of the crowd; he had mourned for their loss and his own; he too knew both Remus and Tonks and meant every word that he said, but he couldn’t really call them friends and consequently it didn’t take him long to say goodbye. Now all he could do was hope that what he did- what he said was good enough.  
After the funeral had finished, Harry got up off his chair. Helping Ginny stand they walked to Remus and Tonks’ grave. Ginny remained silent, apparently she was all cried out and just stared blankly at the tombstones. Harry however, knelt down in front of them and whispered, “Goodbye, Tonks and Remus. Thank you for all you have done. I hope you are happy together… I’m so sorry…”   
Harry broke down, for Remus and Tonks and for his Godson who would grow up an orphan like him. Although Andromeda was generous and kind unlike the Dursleys, Harry felt for the boy. But there was more behind his tears than the mourning for Tonks and Remus. He couldn’t help but shed some emotion for Snape, after all he had done, he wasn’t even honoured with a burial, with the respect he deserves. They couldn’t find his body. Harry thought Voldemort likely disposed of it, but still he grieved for the loss of Snape, the man he still so badly desired to talk to.

Goodbye, Snape. Thank you…

*****

“There are many things that we could say about Fred: his humour, his constant rule breaking and love of jokes and fun. Of course we will always remember him for the excitement he brought to our lives, for making us feel like the world- that life is a game rather than the scary, uncertain thing that it is. He was an excellent friend, a loving brother and a wonderful son. Although Mr and Mrs Weasley received more letters than they can count regarding Fred and his twin George, they cannot deny that he always brought laughter and happiness into their family. Although I am not a member of the Weasley family, I hope to be one day, because I know what lovely people they are. The loss of a family member as loyal and passionate as Fred is a great tragedy, a terrible loss, especially for George; I don’t know what it would be like to lose a twin and already I find it hard to imagine George walking around without Fred by his side. The two of them made my life at Hogwarts a lot of fun and their excellent Quidditch playing often sent us to victory. And although my best friend and brother of Fred, Ron always complained about him, how he used to gang up on him and bag him out for becoming a prefect, I know that he loved Fred, nevertheless. He was so proud- I think all of the Weasleys were, of the efforts Fred and George put into their very successful Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes joke shop.   
Perhaps many of the younger kids who knew Fred would remember him as the prankster and one of the two students that fled Hogwarts on their broomsticks, leaving behind many firecrackers that drove Professor Umbridge crazy for weeks. But for the rest of us who knew him, loved him and treasured him, we will always remember him for his hilarious jokes and great humour as well as his ability to be serious and loving when it mattered. And if it is any consolation to any of you, please rest assured that Fred died doing what he always loved; making jokes. I hope he rests in peace and may he continue to make jokes, wherever he I, knowing that if we were with him, we’d all be laughing…”  
Goodbye, Fred.  
Harry wiped away a tear as he moved from behind the podium and resumed his seat next to Ginny, who had streams of tears pouring down her cheeks.  
“That was beautiful, Harry,” she sobbed.  
Harry just smiled at Ginny and held her to him, knowing that if he spoke, he too would cry.

*****

Four days after Voldemort’s down fall, Snape was still, much to his distaste, residing at the Malfoy Manor. When the three Malfoys returned the night the Dark Lord was killed by none other than Harry Potter, Snape was relieved when they told him that Harry was still alive. At least Lily’s death was not in vain, he said to himself; he was grateful for that, but was also surprised that the boy had managed it nonetheless.   
Realising that Snape was still weak from Nagini’s bite, the Malfoys left him alone, not questioning or talking to him, except to ask how he was. It seemed that they too, were silently celebrating the downfall of Voldemort, even though they would never admit it to anyone.  
However four days had now past and it was becoming clear to Snape, what with Lucius and Narcissa constantly keeping an eye on him, that they wanted to talk to him. About what, Snape could only guess. Waking up to a freshly made breakfast in bed, compliments of Greagor, Snape began to eat; he was hungry, but still wasn’t able to eat his usual sized diet; it seemed that he didn’t consume the anti-venom fast enough that night and consequently, some side-effects were to be expected. Quickly and perhaps somewhat fearfully, Draco entered Snape’s room after knocking and gave him the Daily Prophet, of which Snape requested the moment he began to feel better and capable of reading in bed.  
“Thank you, Draco,” Snape said with indifference as he took the paper from the boy.  
Draco left the room without a word. Opening to the front page, a large black and white photo of Harry Potter greeted him and the headline: ‘Harry Potter, the funeral man.’  
Snape skimmed through the article, sneering as he read how many people had invited Harry to the funeral of their loved ones and even let out a laugh when he learned that Harry only accepted the invitations to Tonks, Remus and Fred’s funerals. Not that the situation was particularly funny. On the contrary, Snape was slightly saddened by the loss of those three lives. Lupin, though a werewolf was always decent to him, even during their time at Hogwarts. He had to respect him for that. He also noticed that while many of the Order members didn’t trust Snape, Lupin trusted him enough to drink the Wolfsbane potion he made for him while he was a teacher at Hogwarts. Snape didn’t know Tonks that well, only as an Auror and member of the Order of the Phoenix, but she seemed nice enough and though perhaps foolish to marry a werewolf, she did love him and felt slightly sorry when he was so harsh with her the year previous when her Patronus changed into a werewolf, no doubt reminiscent of her love for Lupin. Although Fred did always mess around with his twin and Mr Jordan, Snape did appreciate the way they left Hogwarts in their sixth year as he too, strongly disliked Umbridge and enjoyed watching her and Filch attempt to get rid of the swamp and extravagant firework displays.  
Looking again at the photo of Potter, Snape recalled how the boy was sorry that Snape was required to make that ultimate, deadly sacrifice. Harry must be blaming himself severely by now. So, Snape felt it would be indecent of him to reappear in public and talk to Potter after Voldemort had already told him that Snape was dead. Imagine how the boy would react if he approached him? Perhaps more to the point, Snape knew people would still be looking for him as the man who killed Dumbledore and he didn’t particularly feel like going to Azkaban.  
Snape continued to browse through the paper, stopping when he reached yet another article about Potter and Kingsley. Apparently, Kingsley had been appointed Minister for Magic and that one of the first things he did was to exile the Dementors from Azkaban. Perhaps Azkaban wouldn’t be so bad after all? Then Kingsley made an announcement stating that he asked Harry Potter to join the Auror department, an offer of which Harry accepted. Snape sneered. The rest of the article was uninteresting, just talking about new appointments in the ministry. Snape was shocked when Lucius’ position wasn’t replaced. Wanting a word with the man, he asked the house elf to call ‘Master Malfoy’ to him.  
“Good morning, Severus. What can I do for you?” Even though Lucius was trying very hard to appear generous and caring, he really was hoping that soon Snape would be well enough to return to his own home; it was strange having someone else in the Manor.   
“I was just reading the paper this morning Lucius and noticed that you still have your job at the ministry. With Kingsley as the new minister, I thought you would have been fired.”  
Lucius sneered, “Yes Kingsley did want to fire me, but apparently the Potter boy said to Kingsley that before Voldemort’s downfall, I was a neutral part of the war, on neither side.” Lucius paused as he realised the truth of it. Although he prided himself on being a Death Eater and a follower of the Dark Lord, the past year had been so tough on him and his family that by the end, he didn’t care if the Dark Lord won or lost. Lucius was surprised that those feelings were noticed by the Potter boy somehow.  
Snape too was shocked at Harry’s seemingly kind gesture towards Lucius and wondered just what the Malfoys must have done to deserve such kindness and consideration from the boy who was often the victim of their son, Draco.  
“So you are still working for the ministry then?”  
“As I just said.”  
“What do you think about Potter’s appointment as an Auror?”  
Again Lucius sneered. “Well obviously Kingsley thinks that because the boy defeated the Darkest Wizard of all time he should be offered a position as an Auror. However, I think I would be more skeptical, after all the boy didn’t actually duel the Dark Lord.”  
Snape had heard the story of what happened from Lucius’ mouth on a few occasions, even though Lucius didn’t witness the final battle himself, he heard the account from other on-looking Death Eaters and Greyback, who constantly recounted the moment indignantly; it seems he couldn’t believe Potter had succeeded either.  
“Why are you asking so many questions about Potter anyway, Severus?” Lucius’ question distracted Snape from his reverie and forced him to think hard about the question. Why was he talking to Lucius about Harry? Did he just want to make sure the boy was okay?   
Lucius however had another objective; he wanted to find out more about Snape’s relationship with the Potter boy. Although, there was no substantial evidence, he as well as Narcissa and Draco were confused as to why Snape was unable to find Potter that night, for Draco had seen Harry several times running along the corridors. The three of them suspected that Snape was hiding something.  
None of the Malfoy family witnessed the conversation that took place prior to the Dark Lord’s defeat as they were yelling for Draco and couldn’t care less. They only returned to the top of the stairs to see Voldemort’s wand fly out of his hand and into Harry’s. That was all they knew, all they saw and hence didn’t know what Harry had so openly stated about Snape, the man who now lived in their quarters, a traitor to Lord Voldemort. The Death Eaters who did describe the showdown didn’t think twice about mentioning Snape’s loyalties either because the man was ‘dead’ or because they thought, like Ron, that Potter was lying.  
“Snape, what exactly was your relationship with the Potter boy?”   
Snape looked up to see Lucius looking curiously back at him.  
“Why is it of a concern to you?”  
“Because I and the rest of my family believe you are hiding something from us. Why couldn’t you find the boy that night? Draco said he saw him several times battling Death Eaters and running up and down the corridors.”  
“So you think I was a traitor to the Dark Lord? That I purposefully didn’t find the boy?”  
“Well…”  
“I knew you were suspicious of me. Bring your family in here- I’ll set this straight.” Snape asserted with confidence.  
When Lucius left to call for Draco and his wife, Snape began to worry. He knew that if he revealed the truth behind his double agent role, that Lucius would likely turn against him and Draco would mock him like there was no tomorrow. But now that the Dark Lord was defeated, perhaps it would be okay to tell them about his true loyalties; after all they were kind enough to offer their services. Perhaps he owed them the truth?  
Snape was still considering the possibilities when Lucius, Draco and Narcissa returned to his room looking curiously at the man sitting up in bed.  
“Do all of you think that I am a traitor of the Dark Lord?” He used Legilimency against Draco and Narcissa and discovered that yes, they both believed it.  
“Well-” Snape paused, trying to decide exactly what to say: the truth or the same lie he has been telling all of the Death Eaters and Voldemort for the last sixteen years.  
“Well, you are correct.”  
“What!” Lucius was furious. “Explain yourself!”  
“Do you really want to hear it Lucius, or are you taking delight in treating me like a child who can’t make his own choices?” Snape asked, looking into his friend’s eyes.  
“Do you realise that if the Dark Lord were still alive and he found out about your being on Dumbledore’s side, he would have killed me, Narcissa and Draco!? You would have been responsible for our deaths as well as your own!”  
“I am well aware of that Lucius and I assure you that if the Dark Lord were still with us, under no circumstance would I have revealed my loyalty.”  
“So you are being serious? You were on Dumbledore’s side this entire time?”  
“Yes.”  
“But why?” It wasn’t Lucius asking the question, but Draco. Snape moved slightly in his bed to look at the boy.  
“I would rather not say.”  
“But, it’s just that you always seemed to hate Potter, I didn’t think you would be on his side.”  
“I was on Dumbledore’s side rather than Potter’s, and you are correct, I do hate Potter. My actions towards him were always completely genuine, but just before the Dark Lord fell the first time, I swapped sides and have been a spy for Dumbledore ever since.”  
“But why?” Draco asked again, he almost sounded like a child asking why his mother wouldn’t buy him candy. Snape looked to Narcissa and Lucius to see if they too seemed to want to know the answer. Snape was alarmed at the look on Lucius’ face, he seemed beyond reason, Narcissa on the other hand looked as if she were about to cry.  
“I trusted you, Severus! And all this time, Bella was right! We shouldn’t have trusted you!”  
“Narcissa, I-”  
“I bet you told Dumbledore immediately what I asked you to do and you had a plan all worked out! Draco could have died that year and you wouldn’t have cared!” Narcissa was beside herself.  
“Narcissa, listen to me!” The distraught woman remained silent, but stared avidly at the man still confined to his bed.  
“I do not deny that I told Dumbledore about what you had asked of me, but to the contrary, we did not devise a way of putting Draco in danger. You forget that Dumbledore cared for all of is students, even Draco and it was he that insisted that I kill him at the end of the year so that Draco’s soul would remain intact. We had a plan, and it worked. At no stage in my life have I ever wished ill things for Draco and I kept my word by monitoring him all of last year, as much as he detested it.” He looked at Draco who continued to stare at him, apparently shocked at what he was hearing.  
“You must realise that although I was working for the Order of the Phoenix, I still had to convince you and the Dark Lord of my loyalty; there were some things I had to do for the Dark Lord to gain his trust. I risked my life for Dumbledore and I understood that if the Dark Lord ever found out, he would torture and then kill me without a seconds thought. But luckily, I was able to keep up appearances and although he suspected me a few times, he had no proof of my treachery.”  
“This is completely unprecedented Snape! You- you-” Lucius seemed lost for words.  
“I still want to know why you swapped sides.” Apparently Draco was becoming impatient.  
“And I told you that I do not wish to discuss it!”  
“Well I think after everything you have done, after lying to us and putting our family in danger, that we deserve to hear the whole truth!” Narcissa was clearly still upset, but she too wanted to know what was so important that prompted Snape to change sides so suddenly.  
“Fine. You should also know that Potter most likely knows this already.”  
“What? Potter knows? Why did you tell him?” Draco seemed genuinely pissed off that Potter managed to know something so important before he did.  
“He may know; I’m not sure… I thought I was going to die that night-”  
“So?” Draco replied somewhat aggressively.  
“He deserved to know the truth, something Dumbledore rarely gave to him until it was too late.” The Malfoys just stared at him.  
“Fine,” Snape sighed and braced himself for the reaction he was about to receive.  
“The prophecy made about Potter-”  
“Was heard by a Death Eater,” Lucius cut in.  
“Yes.”  
“Did you?” Lucius’ eyes were wide.  
“Yes, it was me who heard it that night. It was my second mission for the Dark Lord and I wanted to do it right. I did everything he told me; I was planning to ask Dumbledore for a position as a teacher. When I overheard the prophecy being made to Dumbledore, I hastened to tell the Dark Lord immediately, but was chucked out of the pub before I heard the whole prophecy and consequently, the Dark Lord had no idea what the rest of the prophecy said. This is why he wanted to retrieve it two years ago. When I gave the Dark Lord the information about the prophecy he spent hour after hour going through all the people it could possibly refer to. He eventually narrowed the options down to Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom.”  
“What! Father you never told me that!”  
“I didn’t think you’d care, Draco.”  
“That great old lump? Why didn’t the Dark Lord choose him? He would have had no problems defeating Longbottom!”  
“Are you implying that Potter was a match for the Dark Lord?” Draco’s father cut in, furious.  
“Well-” but Draco forced himself to stop talking when he saw the look in his father’s eyes.  
“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Snape continued, “the Dark Lord told me the two boys he was going to target and I hoped that he would choose Neville as opposed to Harry.”  
“Why?”  
“Stop interrupting me, Draco. The Dark Lord decided that Potter would be a more threatening nemesis and so decided to go after him. I went immediately to Dumbledore, who knew who I was and was in no mood to talk to a Death Eater. Eventually however, I persuaded him to listen to me and trust me that the Potters were in danger and to protect them as best he could. He did, and the Potters chose Wormtail as their Secret Keeper to their demise because as we know, Wormtail was a Death Eater. He turned the Potters in to the Dark Lord and the rest is history.”  
“You still haven’t explained why you did this, why you told Dumbledore what was happening and why you changed sides.” Draco demanded.  
“Yes, you conveniently skipped over that part, Severus.” Lucius was accusing Snape now; he was becoming dangerously impatient just like his son.  
“I cared about what happened to the Potters.”  
“Because you went to school with them?” Lucius looked disgusted.  
“No…”  
“Then what? I remember how James Potter used to humiliate you in front of everyone, you hated him. There was no way in hell you would have wanted to protect him. And Lily…” Lucius stopped and it was clear to Snape that the man had finally realised why he changed sides.  
“My god, Severus! This is unbelievable, I mean you actually- you actually changed sides for her? For a Mudblood?”  
“DON’T use that foul name in front of me!”  
“So it’s true? You’re not denying it? You fell in love with her?”  
“With who?” Draco asked, looking excited.  
“Lily Evans or after she married, Lily Potter!”  
Draco’s jaw dropped as he stared at Snape.  
“Close your mouth, boy!” Snape hissed at Draco.  
“Don’t you dare tell my son what to do! You are a disgrace to the wizarding world! You’re as bad as the Weasleys: Mudblood lovers.”  
“Shut up, Lucius!” Snape hissed.  
“This is unthinkable Snape! I knew there was something there between you two. I used to watch you both talking during lunch. I thought perhaps a friendship, but LOVE? Love so powerful that you defied the Dark Lord and lied to your friends? You disgust me!”   
“Lucius! Trust me, I disgusted myself, but I couldn’t help it, she meant everything to me and when she died, I felt responsible and Dumbledore suggested that I redeem myself by protecting her son, so ever since the boy started school-”  
“I don’t want to hear it! Let’s go!” Grabbing his wife and son’s arms he tried to pull them towards the door, but to no avail. “What are you doing? Surely you don’t want to hear anymore of his rubbish? His pathetic assertions of love?”  
“But, Father… Potter saved my life…” Draco whispered so quietly that Snape only just heard it.  
“But you hated the boy, Draco!” Lucius replied, shocked that his son was disobeying his orders.  
“Yeah I did, but he’s- he’s not that bad and if Professor Snape was protecting him, then, maybe… maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”  
“He attacked you in your sixth year, you still have the scars!”  
“I know, but Snape arrived just in time. If he wasn’t keeping an eye out for Potter, may be he wouldn’t have been able to save me.”  
“That is hardly the point Draco!”  
“But, Father!”  
“Leave!”  
“No, Lucius.” Narcissa, who hadn’t spoken for many minutes, defended her son and stood up to her husband.  
“Narcissa-”  
“I agree with Draco, Severus still protected our son and so what if he was also protecting Harry Potter and was actually on Dumbledore’s side. He kept our son safe, Lucius.”  
“But he lied to us! Risked our lives! Are you really going to forgive-”  
“Sometimes we do stupid things for the people we care about.” Narcissa was now speaking in a higher tone, which attracted Snape’s rapt attention.  
“What do you mean, Narcissa?” Lucius asked his wife, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.  
“Snape isn’t the only one who has lied to the Dark Lord.”  
“What do you mean? Who else? Do you know of another Death Eater who has also eaten out of Dumbledore’s muggle loving hands?”  
“No…”  
“So who are you referring to then?”  
“Me.” It was barely a whisper, but it seemed to reverberate through the room.  
“Mother?” Draco asked, shocked.  
“Remember in the forest Lucius, when the Dark Lord asked me to check Harry Potter’s pulse?”  
“Yes,” Lucius replied with a clenched jaw.  
“Well, I lied. I could feel his pulse. I knelt down and asked him if Draco was still alive in the castle. He said yes. He helped me, so I helped him. If I told the Dark Lord the truth another fight would have started and that may have led to Draco’s death, but I didn’t want that to happen, so I lied!” Narcissa was beginning to sound hysterical, her voice continuing to rise in pitch, but she soon cowered under her husband’s gaze.  
“You lied to the Dark Lord? Narcissa what possessed you to-”  
“I love my son and I wanted to find him and if that meant lying to the Dark Lord then so what?”  
Lucius was speechless; he didn’t know what to say. He just stared between his wife, son and friend and concluded that he was among some of the biggest traitors in wizarding history.  
“What are you going to do, Lucius? Throw me out? Exile me from our home? God only knows what would have happened if I didn’t lie. I may have saved all of our lives!”  
“All because of love?”  
“Yes Lucius, because I love our son, is that so hard for you believe?” Draco was standing to the side, swaying backwards and forwards. Snape had the feeling that spoilt Draco wasn’t used to his parents arguing about their love for him.  
“What is hard for me to believe is that you would risk this family by lying to the Dark Lord!”  
“Stop it!” Draco yelled. “Stop yelling about it! Mother lied to the Dark Lord, who cares? We are all alive, the Dark Lord is dead- there is no point in arguing about it!”  
“How dare you yell at me?” Lucius withdrew his wand, his son moving backwards towards the wall, terrified.  
“Lucius, put your wand away! We don’t use magic to punish Draco! We never have!” Narcissa was beside herself, looking between her husband and son, hoping that the former would keep his temper.  
“The three of you are just- I don’t even know what to think!” Lucius stated looking utterly mad as he stared at the faces in his company.  
“Can’t you understand that there are some things worth risking? That there are some things worth dying for?” Narcissa tried to reason with her husband through her tears.  
“Like what? Love?” Lucius spat at her.  
A harsh silence rented the air, except with the sound of Narcissa’s quiet sobs. Eventually, Snape decided to answer for her, realizing that she seemed incapable of speaking.  
“Yes, Lucius,” Snape replied calmly.  
“This is ridiculous!” But Snape noticed that Lucius’ outrage was beginning to falter; although the man hated the idea that his family and friend would risk their lives for love, he had to admit that he was slowly beginning to accept it. Lucius was not a man who openly expressed his emotions to anyone, but he did, perhaps deep down, love his wife and son. While he may not have lied to the Dark Lord to protect them, he was looking for his son while Voldemort was fighting against Potter. So, he did care, not that he was about to admit it.  
“Don’t pity your wife because she’s weak-” Snape began to reason with his friend.  
“It’s not a weakness, Severus! You know that!” Narcissa was accusing Snape through her tears, pointing at him dramatically. “If you thought it was a weakness you would not have disobeyed the Dark Lord; you would have done the opposite to prove that you are not weak! But you and I both took risks and if it is a weakness that we feel, then we accept it! We may hide it, be disgusted by it, but we don’t deny it!” Narcissa’s voice was piercing, she was clearly passionate about her loving action towards her son and Snape was thoroughly surprised by the accusations she laid at his door.  
“My apologies, Narcissa, I meant no offense.”   
Narcissa was still upset, so Snape turned to Lucius. “Are you still disappointed in me, Lucius?” Lucius didn’t answer; he wasn’t even looking at Snape, but staring at his wife. Snape had no idea what was going through the man’s mind, but from the look in his eyes, Snape felt that Lucius was not about to argue with him again; it seems that the man finally understood that some people would die- would risk everything for love, friendship, and redemption…


	5. ... the truth is generally preferable to lies

Snape rested peacefully that night but when he woke up to the sound of Greagor entering his room and placing his breakfast tray on the dresser, he couldn’t help but think of Harry Potter. Because the Malfoys were absent from the final showdown, they did not know and neither did Snape, the conversation that occurred between the boy and the Dark Lord. Nevertheless, Snape felt sure that, knowing Potter, he would have mentioned something to Voldemort regarding Snape’s loyalty if he had indeed seen his memories in the Penseive that night. There was no way of knowing for certain what Harry thought of him- not that he cared of course- he continued to convince himself that he was simply ‘curious’. Having received the Daily Prophet every morning, Snape had no hint that Potter had seen the memories let alone knew that he was alive. True to their word, the Malfoys had kept their mouths shut about his continued existence, but there had been speculation about the whereabouts of Snape’s body or so Lucius informed him. Severus tried to convince himself that there would be no point in telling the wizarding world that he was still alive except for his own selfish reasons: to know if Harry saw his memories. Just when Snape decided that he was going to keep his existence a secret for as long as possible, Lucius walked in.  
“Severus, Greagor has informed me that you are well enough to go home. How are you feeling?” Lucius asked in an almost monotonous tone as if the situation was boring to him; it was his usual routine every morning.  
“Well, thank you, Lucius. I guess I should be going back to Spinner’s End.”  
“And when you leave here, are we to continue asserting your non-existence or do you think you would like to inform people that you are, in fact, alive?” Snape was becoming agitated by Lucius’ very obvious attempt at sarcasm, yet he remained civil nonetheless.  
“I was just thinking about that myself and I concluded that I do not want people to know; it would be too uncomfortable for everyone.”  
“And since when have you cared about people other than yourself?” Lucius spat somewhat aggressively. Clearly Lucius was still angry from the previous night.  
“Lucius, it is clear that Potter and consequently most of the wizarding world believe me to be dead and I would like to keep it that way.”  
“So you’re going to go back home and live an isolated life never talking to anyone or entering the wizarding world ever again? Don’t be stupid!”  
“And if I don’t do that and foolishly decide to enter the Wizarding world the ministry will be onto me for the murder of Dumbledore.”  
“But I got away with being a Death Eater; Kingsley is lenient and if Potter is around I am sure he’ll defend you.”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“Well he did it for me and if he did see your memories then I would bet my Manor that he’d protect you.”  
Snape nodded. “Well what do you think I should do?”  
“Perhaps it would be an idea for me to spread a rumour around that you are still alive and see what the reaction is- if it is positive then you can reveal yourself soon, otherwise you can go into hiding like you so badly want to.” Lucius was being extremely bitter, but Snape still appreciated his insight.  
Snape nodded in reply. “Mention that I was injured so that there is a reason as to why the rumour hadn’t arisen earlier,” Snape added.  
Lucius nodded. “Fine, but when I return tonight, I want you out of my Manor.” It was becoming apparent to Snape that Lucius and Narcissa most likely continued their argument after they and their son left his room the night before. Although Lucius seemed to understand and accept his wife’s and friend’s actions, it seemed to be taking a long time for him to openly assert his forgiveness.  
Lucius began to walk towards the door when he stopped and spun around.  
“If you do decide to hide in your home for the rest of your life, exactly what are you going to do with yourself?”  
Snape paused; he would like to do something useful and worthwhile, there is nothing worse than wasting your time, or so Snape thought. “I thought about creating some more potions and spells, perhaps experiment with my own creations….” Snape mumbled, not really sure what he was going to do.  
“Interesting, Severus... Good luck with that,” Lucius stated as he left the room.

*****

Harry predicted that thousands of people would be dying to interview him after his defeat of Voldemort, but he was somewhat surprised when no one had asked for one. He supposed that because the final battle occurred in front of so many people that there was no need for a report about it; it was common knowledge. Not that Harry minded; he was happy to be free of the publicity, though of course people still stared at him wherever he went. The freedom however, allowed him to focus on his new Auror position that Kingsley had given him. Harry didn’t really know what to expect from being an Auror- although it was his ambition to become one, now that Voldemort was no longer around, the Aurors were beginning to slacken off, but Harry wanted to prove to Kingsley that at seventeen his appointment was not a foolish one.  
Sitting at his desk, something Harry was still getting used to, he received a bright green post it note: an interview request! Realising that the message was signed by Rita Skeeter, Harry spent no time in writing back a huge ‘NO!’ on the paper, but paused. He would be interested to see what Rita had to write about him. Although he always detested her previous writings, especially the one about him in the Triwizard tournament and about Hagrid being a half-giant, causing him to stay in his house for days, he did desire something to do and he was sure Kingsley wouldn’t mind. Writing back to Rita and receiving a subsequent post-it, the pair had organized to meet that afternoon.  
At 3pm, Harry met Rita at the Leaky Cauldron. It seemed that Hermione had stopped threatening Rita that she would inform the authorities about her illegal animagus form, probably because there was too much happening of recent to enforce such a threat. Still, Harry was happy to see that some things never change; Rita still had her speckled glasses and acid green quill waiting for him at a table in the back corner of the bar.  
“Ah, Harry! It’s been too long! Now I must give a huge congratulation to you for killing You-Know-Who.”  
“Why do people still call him that? He’s dead, after all.” Harry said trying to reason with the woman as her quill went flying across the parchment.  
“And how do you feel now that the Dark Lord is dead?” Rita asked holding onto his every word.  
“Well, relieved and happy that he finally got what was coming to him.”  
Rita nodded as she continued, “And exactly how did you do it? I mean, I for one would love to have been there to witness it, but could you just give me a quick recap?” She asked sweetly.  
Harry paused; exactly how much should he tell knowing that Rita would likely manipulate it anyway?  
“Well basically it was Voldemort’s own fault;” Rita jumped at the sound of the name, “because,” Harry continued “he was arrogant, believing himself to be superior to everyone, not realizing that other people knew about the Elder Wand.”  
“The Elder Wand?” It was clear to Harry that Rita was beyond excited about the subject of the interview. Harry suppressed a laugh as he continued.  
“Yes, the Elder Wand, the one from the ‘Tales of Beedle the Bard’.”  
“So the tale is true?”  
“Yes, and it is for that reason that I destroyed it-”  
“Why?”  
“It’s dangerous!” Rita scrunched up her face looking thoroughly disappointed.  
“Anyway, it’s a long story but basically the Elder Wand allies itself with a wizard and for that wizard the Elder wand is invincible. What happened the night I defeated Voldemort was that Voldemort had possession of the Elder Wand, but I in fact had its alliance so when Voldemort went to kill me with the wand, the Elder wand recognised me as its master and refused to fight against me, so Voldemort’s Avada Kedavra spell backfired and killed him.”  
“Interesting, and how did you find this out? Did you know it would happen?”  
“Yes, Dumbledore had previously told me about it and the importance of wand allegiance.” Harry did not particularly feel like telling her how he really found out about the Elder Wand; it would have made Rita drool with excitement and he didn’t particularly want to clear up the mess.  
“So you’re still Dumbledore’s man?”  
“Through and through,” Harry replied smiling.  
“Now speaking of Dumbledore or rather more about his killer, Severus Snape, I have been hearing rumours around the ministry today that in fact, the man is still alive. What do you think about that?”  
Harry paused, not quite knowing what to say. Honestly, that news would be wonderful as he still would really like the opportunity to talk to Snape, but having gradually accepted in the last five or so days that the man is dead, he was beginning to become comfortable with the idea that he’d never speak to Snape again.  
“Um, well I haven’t heard the rumour…”  
“Apparently Snape was injured the night of the battle and has only just recovered and is shocked that people believe him to be dead.”  
“Well, Voldemort told me that he killed him and I know that when Voldemort decides to kill someone, he rarely fails-”  
“Except in your case, of course.”  
Harry nodded. “Well anyway, in answer to your question, I doubt he would still be alive because Voldemort would never lie about murdering someone and secondly because Snape told me prior to his death that he would look for me later if he were to survive.”  
“But if he were still alive, what would you say to the man?” Rita was just dying to hear Harry rave on about all the abuse he would give the Death Eater, and Harry smiled thinking of how disappointed he was about to make her.  
“Well, firstly I would tell him that I saw the memories he gave me.”  
“Really?” Rita’s quill was frantically writing.  
“And then I would ask him why he didn’t tell me about them sooner.”  
“What did the memories contain, Harry?”  
Harry paused again. “I don’t think I should tell you. Obviously Snape didn’t want people to know so I don’t think it would be right for me to-”  
“But if he is dead, then it wouldn’t matter would it?” Rita clearly wanted to hear the goss.  
“Look, there were plenty of people at Hogwarts that night, ask any one of them what I said, but I am not repeating it here. All I will say is that Snape was on Dumbledore’s side ever since Voldemort went after me and my parents and I wish he told me that sooner, because that would have made life a whole lot easier.”  
“In what way?”  
“We didn’t get on that well, and even though he was a spy for Dumbledore, I think Dumbledore was the only man who truly believed he was loyal. I always thought he was a Death Eater and consequently we hated each other.”  
“And now?”  
“Well, after finding out the truth I now understand his actions and what he did in the past. And if I saw him again I would want to talk to him about the memories I saw and let him know that I forgive him for what he did.”  
“You are forgiving a Death Eater?” Rita asked shocked, eyes popping. “After everything he did- after killing Dumbledore?”  
“It’s not what you think. And besides, he WAS a Death Eater, he’s not anymore.”  
“Do you know why he swapped sides?”  
“Yes…” Harry answered, “But I am not going to tell you, ask some one else.”  
“And why won’t you tell me yourself, Mr Potter?”  
“Because I respect Snape; he was brave and loyal and I will not tell you something that he didn’t want people to know, so go ask someone who is willing to give that very exciting information!” Harry was starting to get angry at Rita, not that he knew why. He knew she would be like this; badgering him for information, but somehow, if Snape was dead he wanted to preserve his secrets for as long as possible and if he was alive, well he didn’t want Snape to be mad at him.  
“But from what I heard, Harry, Severus Snape was a terrible man, nasty, cruel and harsh towards his students, surely you can’t possibly justify sticking up for-”  
“All you want is to make galleons from this article; who cares who is hurt or ridiculed as long as you get the readership and people valuing you like they used to before Hermione captured you in your animagus form-”  
“Shhh!” Rita whispered looking panicked.  
“No! I will not be quiet! I know you well enough to know that this article, no matter what I say is going to be full of crap. See look,” pointing at the parchment with green ink scribbled across it, “I never said that the memories were likely to be tampered with before Snape gave them to me! They were genuine and if you keep lying like this then no one is going to read your articles and if they do then they are as thick as a troll who can’t tell the difference between truth and lies!” Harry didn’t know where his anger was coming from and could hardly believe what he was yelling in the middle of the Leaky Cauldron; so many eyes were watching him. But he didn’t care; he was sick of Rita pestering him about Snape, but couldn’t help thinking that perhaps his anger stemmed from the sudden possibility that Snape was still alive. Could Harry endure another round of disappointment if the rumour was false? Perhaps he was worried about what would happen between them if he was still alive?  
“Well I think that puts an end to our interview.”  
“Yes, I think it does,” Harry answered coldly, making his way to the door.  
“Make sure you read the article, Harry!”  
Harry snorted, “Yeah right,” he mumbled as he stormed out of the Leaky Cauldron.

 

*****

Lucius returned home from work that day, still annoyed that Snape had not yet left his Manor. As much as he liked to call Severus his friend, he really wanted to get the ‘lover of Mudbloods’ out of his home. However, he realised that Snape was probably still around to find out what happened at the ministry and he himself had some things he wanted to discuss with the man.  
“Severus?” Lucius asked as he pushed open the door.  
“Lucius! I didn’t realise you would be home so soon, I’ll be leaving now.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Severus, you want to know what happened at the ministry.”  
Snape paused, Lucius knew he was trying to think of a plausible cover up, to pretend that he didn’t really care, but he was unsuccessful.  
“Well, what did happen at the ministry?” Snape asked trying to sound uninterested in the topic.  
“As we planned I told one or two people I work with that I heard from someone that Severus Snape was still alive, but that he was severely injured from the battle at Hogwarts. The dunderheads of course took the bait and immediately began to spread it around. It seems that most people didn’t believe it to be true, but no body seemed to be too worried if it were true. I think now that the Dark Lord is dead, Death Eaters aren’t much of a threat anymore. I didn’t see how Kingsley or Arthur Weasley reacted to the news or any other members from the Order of the Phoenix,” Lucius smirked, realizing that Snape was and has always been a true member of that organisation. “However, I did see Potter’s reaction.” Snape looked up with apparent interest and Lucius sneered; now for the interesting part. “He was doing an interview with a woman, no doubt regarding his defeat of the Dark Lord, and obviously something everyone wants to know about. I didn’t hear much of it as I was only dropping into the Leaky Cauldron to meet someone inside, we left soon after, but I did hear that Potter believed you were dead because he said you would have otherwise looked for him.” Lucius was staring intently at Snape, who realised that more explaining was required; the man just wouldn’t let his relationship with the Potter boy go.  
“I told Potter just before I was summoned to the Shrieking Shack, that we’d talk about it- my memories- later. I never said I would find him, though that is obviously what he thought I meant.”  
“I see,” Lucius replied, not really seeing at all.  
“Did you notice anything else?”  
“Only that he seemed to deny the possibility that you are alive, but as to whether he hoped you were alive, I can only guess. He also mentioned something about memories, so I think we could safely say that he saw the memories you gave him, but as to how he felt about it, again we can only guess. Though as it is ‘saintly Potter’ perhaps we should assume he now thinks you’re the greatest man to walk the Earth.” Lucius was disgusted at himself for even suggesting that possibility; there is no way that Snape, a man who would risk his own life and those of other people just for love, would be a great man let alone the greatest.  
“Thank you for the update Lucius, I will now get out of your Manor as you desire.” Snape climbed off his bed and walked somewhat awkwardly to the door. Even though he felt much better since he first arrived at the Manor, his shoulder was still painful and his body seemed to be twitching still, even after five days without the Cruciatus curse.  
“Hang on; are you going to enter the wizarding world again?”  
“I think I’ll wait a while and see what comes out in the paper before I decide. I shall keep you posted.”  
“Well, take care Snape, we’ll keep in touch.” Lucius was being a lot more hospitable now that he was finally getting rid of the man.  
“Yes, and thank you for your hospitality. Please give my best wishes to Narcissa and Draco, I am sure I will see them soon.”  
Lucius nodded as he escorted Snape to the fireplace.  
“I assume your floo is connected with the Malfoy Manor?” asked Lucius.  
“Yes, it has been since your wife asked for my help last year, so I could easily give her updates from my home.”  
“I see.”  
“Anyway,” Snape said as he picked up a handful of floo powder, “thank you again, Lucius.”  
The blonde haired man nodded as Snape was engulfed by a flurry of green flames.

*****

The following morning, Snape woke up in his bedroom at Spinner’s End to the sound of a beak pecking at the window. Ready to swear at the bird for waking him so early, he realised it was holding the Daily Prophet with Harry Potter’s picture on the front. Leaping out of bed, wincing slightly as his injured shoulder hit the bedside, he grabbed a knut from the pocket of his cloak and let the owl in. After dropping the newspaper and receiving its payment, the bird soared out of the window. But Snape hardly noticed because the blurb under the headline ‘Potter exposes fraud’ was making his heart race and his stomach churn.

Although it was rumoured that Severus Snape was on Harry Potter’s side during and the lead up to the battle at Hogwarts, it has been revealed by Potter himself that this in fact was not the case. I had the great privilege of meeting with the famous Harry Potter only five days after his defeat of the Dark Lord and confronted him with the rumour that had been going around the Ministry for Magic that Snape was still alive. For those who are unaware, the man in question was a convicted Death Eater and was vouched for by Albus Dumbledore soon after the Dark Lord’s original downfall in 1981. It was believed by most that he was working for Voldemort by spying on Dumbledore and yet more recent accounts of events have suggested otherwise. But after hearing Harry Potter’s account of the circumstances today, having been taught by and been the subject of blatant ridicule from Severus Snape, has led me and consequently many of my readers to rethink the idea that Snape was indeed someone fighting for the good side. Potter says: “Snape gave me a vile of memories from his childhood showing me that he cared for my mother, loved my mother and was sincerely sorry for her death,” he said with a scowl. “Of course,” he continued, “I didn’t believe it for a moment, Snape has always been a horrible person who never did anything for anyone. There is no way that he loved my mother and I cannot believe that he thought I was that thick to believe these pathetic memories! But apparently, or so he tried to show me, ever since my mother’s death he has been working for Dumbledore trying to protect me. Yet where was he when I was fighting Voldemort in my first year? Where was he when I was being chased by the Basilisk? Why did he suggest that I enter the Triwizard Tournament, knowing that I would most likely die? The list is endless!”  
“But what about the memories?” I asked him, “Surely they are real.”  
To which Harry replied, aggressively, “The memories were likely tampered with; Snape probably manipulated them so that he could gain my trust. If Voldemort didn’t murder Snape, he would have likely betrayed me to Voldemort and perhaps he would now be in control of the wizarding world! And yet, he seemed so genuine when he gave them to me but I could still see right through him, even if he is a great Occlumens. I find it impossible that he could ever have loved another human being, especially my mother.”  
“But many people are saying that he was actually on the side of good.” I tried to reason with him. But Potter laughed, sneering at me as if I were completely stupid.  
“You actually believe those rumours? That man is a coward, a loser who can’t even function around me without making a snide remark here and there. And if you say that he is alive, bring him to me so I can throw his memories in his face!”  
The conversation continued on like this and nothing I said seemed to persuade Harry Potter otherwise.  
So as a warning to you readers who seem to be under the delusion that Severus Snape is in fact harmless, don’t be fooled; you heard it from Harry Potter’s mouth yourself that he is a fraud and tried to jeopardize the safety of the boy who has conquered the Dark Lord and has given us our lives and peace of mind. And Snape, if you are alive I must say that you are a disgrace to the wizarding world and a fool for trying to convince the ‘Boy who lived’ that you’re on his side; good plan but not good enough! And I think I speak for everyone when I say, ‘you should be ashamed of yourself!”

Snape slowly put the paper down. No matter how many times Snape tried to swallow, the lump in his throat wouldn’t disappear and feelings of despair, hatred and helplessness began to raid his brain. Before he knew it, tears were sparkling in his dark, black eyes. Honestly, Severus didn’t know what was bothering him so much, or rather he didn’t want to admit that the Potter boy had actually broken his indifferent, detached composure that he has kept up for the last sixteen years. Snape couldn’t believe that he actually believed Dumbledore’s assertion that Harry was more like his mother than even he was willing to believe and yet here it was, living proof that Dumbledore was wrong; Potter was much more like his father, no- even worse than his father, if that were possible.   
After all I have done for him, it still isn’t good enough. Nothing is ever good enough for precious Potter, ‘the Chosen One’.  
So what was Snape to do? After risking his life on so many occasions and lying to the Dark Lord, he finally confesses his feelings and memories to the one boy of whom he would normally sneer at and treat with great dislike, who just treats his most private matters like they were made up, unreal- as if his whole life was a ploy to trick him and nothing more- no pain, no torture, just a dream.  
What kind of absurdity is this? Well if that is the way Potter wants it, then so be it. There will no longer be a reason to confront him as I don’t desire to be yelled at and ridiculed for my actions; I had quite enough of that during my years at Hogwarts with his father and Godfather. Who cares if Lucius thinks I’ll rot here alive? Obviously, no one will notice I am gone as few know I am still alive. If Lucius believes that article then perhaps even he would think I lied to him. Confronting Potter now would only cause trouble that I would rather not bother myself with it and frankly I don’t care what he thinks. So I lied to him. Am I that good at tampering with my memories? Not a single blur or imperfect piece of memory, just perfectly fake? Perfectly real, more like and yet I was so stupid for believing that Potter could be the only living person who could have accepted that I am actually human! Well not only am I a coward and inhuman but a fraud too, the list seems to be endless.

Severus Snape continued to think in this sarcastic, bitter manner for many minutes after reading the article and although he was trying his utmost to pretend he didn’t care, he honestly cared so much that his anger was eventually overcome with tears as he realised that his actions, although he knew they were courageous and brave, meant nothing to the one person he wanted to know about his past, Harry Potter. A sense of emptiness crept over the man as he lay on his bed, desiring more than he ever had since the night of Lily’s death; that she as there with him; to comfort him and let him know that at least she appreciated what he had risked for her. As the years went on and he became more involved in the battle against Voldemort and especially after teaching Potter Occlumency two years previously, he realised or rather hoped that one day the boy would understand that despite his rude and harsh exterior that he really did care and really was sorry for what he did. But apparently, his regret, sorrow and grief that were displayed in the vile just weren’t enough.  
My life is fake- a dream… I wish it was.

Yet poor Severus, in all of his grief, disbelief and unhappiness didn’t notice the reporter’s name that was printed in small letters at the top of the page nor did he realise that Harry Potter, despite being James’ son was and has always been someone who forgave others and befriended misfits like Lupin and Hagrid. None of this very important information entered Snape’s mind as the walls he knocked down when he gave Harry his memories were immediately rebuilt around him, the prejudices becoming very much intact once again. Harry Potter was no longer the boy that crumbled to the ground when he saw the memories that Snape forced him to see during their Occlumency lessons. He was no longer Lily’s son with Lily’s bright green eyes, but James’ son and with that prejudice comes the heavy consequence of being blinded from the truth.

Snape remained engulfed in his emotions for a while that morning and it was only when he decided to get up for breakfast that he realised that if his evidence wasn’t good enough for Potter then it wasn’t going to be good enough for anyone.   
Never has he felt so helpless, so worthless…


	6. ... I can't shut myself away...

“Tomorrow I’m going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I’m going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I’m going to Hogwarts…”  
“Daddy, this isn’t fair, I want to go to Hogwarts!”  
“You will in three years time Lily, so while we wait why don’t we try to help James pack?” Harry suggested kindly, realizing that something as boring as packing would never deter his daughter from James’ chants.  
“Tomorrow I’m going to Hogwarts, tomorrow I’m going to Hogwarts-‘  
“James, I know you’re excited but you really should continue packing, sweetie.” Ginny had entered the room shocked that her husband and children had made so little progress with the packing. “Your father is trying to do the best he can, but he doesn’t know what you want to take.”  
James ceased chanting and began to help his dad, still humming the tune under his breath.  
Finally, James’ trunk was packed and sitting next to the door, ready to be levitated down the stairs the following morning.  
“Mum, Dad, can you tell me about Hogwarts again?” James asked, getting into bed, his little sister still congregating nearby.  
“You are going to see the castle for yourself tomorrow, James. Why don’t you wait and see for yourself?” Harry reasoned with his eldest son, knowing too well that such reasoning was fruitless.  
“Please, Dad just once more,” James begged.  
“Please, Daddy; I want to hear it too.”  
“And me,” said Albus who had just walked into his brother’s room having finished brushing his teeth.  
Harry and Ginny looked at each other and smiled. They had lost track of how many times they had told the ‘Hogwart’s story’ to their children, but enjoyed telling it all the same. Nevertheless, they were a little surprised that their children weren’t sick of it yet. Both of them silently knew that this story, though exciting, was nothing compared to the several other things that happened to them whilst at Hogwarts, but they always told themselves that the children were still too young to know everything about their past.  
“Well, Hogwarts is a magnificent castle full of surprises and secrets. When you sit down for meals, the food appears by magic and has an endless supply (Harry thought that telling his children that house elves in fact made the food would take away some of that magic). Sometimes you’ll see the house ghosts floating around and if they fly through you, it doesn’t hurt, but feels like you’ve been dunked into a bucket of ice.” Lily shivered. “There are so many paintings on the walls that you could probably just sit all day and watch them run in and out of one another’s frames, talking to each other, playing cards or having tea. Hogwarts is so big that sometimes you get lost, especially when the staircases decide to play a trick on you early in the morning and change direction or otherwise all the stairs disappear and you simply slide down.”  
“That would be so much fun!” Albus exclaimed.  
“Well normally it would be if you weren’t carrying a bowl of ice cream at the time,” Harry explained, grinning broadly at the memory of Ron’s expression when he walked into Gryffindor tower covered in icecream back in their fourth year.  
Lily giggled.  
“But what is probably most exciting,” Ginny continued for Harry, “is that when we were at Hogwarts someone found a room known as the Room of Requirement and if you find it, it will adjust itself to suit your needs.”  
“Awesome!” James yelled. “I’m going to make it a secret hide out where my friends and I can think of ways to annoy Filch!”  
Harry smiled. Only a few nights ago, Ginny and he were telling their children about Filch the caretaker, not knowing if he would still be at Hogwarts after eighteen years, but nevertheless decided to amuse their children by telling them what they had done to annoy the man. Harry hoped, however that he wouldn’t be receiving too many letters from McGonagall insisting that his child was a trouble maker.   
When James received his letter from Hogwarts, Harry was delighted to see Professor Minerva McGonagall’s name signed at the bottom, as he always thought that she would be a wonderful Headmistress. Of course, Harry and Ginny had to tell their children about McGonagall and what they knew about her: the fact that she was animagus and a very strict but excellent professor, even if she gave them piles of homework. The former fact interested the children the most and each of them knew that the first thing they would do when they saw McGonagall was to ask her to transform. Harry doubted she would appreciate the requests, but hoped she would humour his children nevertheless. Now that Minerva was Headmistress, she would no longer be teaching the students, but Harry felt certain that his children would be safe at Hogwarts with her around; she may be strict but she is passionate, determined and extremely resourceful.  
“What else could the Room of Requirement turn into, Dad?” Albus asked, wide-eyed that such a room existed.  
“Anything you want, Al, but remember your mother and me never found out where it is so it could just be a rumour.” Harry smiled to himself. As much as he would like to tell his children exactly where the Room of Requirement was and what they had done in there, he didn’t want them, especially James, to be deterred from their school work.  
“Can you tell us about Hagrid again, Dad?”  
Albus was especially curious about Hagrid for none of his children had ever met a half giant before. But they also wished to know more about the dangerous, scary creatures Hagrid had kept during their time at Hogwarts. Harry had already told his children about the Hippogriffs and Thestrals, both of which excited them greatly. He even discussed the fact that Thestrals pull the Hogwarts carriages, though didn’t elaborate on the fact that he could see them; he didn’t wish to reiterate the night Cedric died, it wasn’t that pleasant of a story.  
Ginny, Harry and their children were up until very late that night. Yet, despite their better judgment, the two parents continued to give in to their children’s requests for previous Hogwarts stories. After talking about the giant squid, the Fat Lady, Merpeople, Moaning Myrtle, Quidditch and Neville Longbottom and his aptitude for Herbology, Lily was lolling off to sleep, leaning on her brother’s bed and Albus too, was very drowsy. It seemed that James was only awake due to the adrenalin coursing through his body at the very thought that this time tomorrow he would be in his four poster at Hogwarts.   
Once James fell asleep, Harry carefully lifted his daughter with both arms as if she were a baby and carried Lily to her bedroom down the hall and tucked her in. He then came back and did the same for Albus who was also sound asleep. Once all of their children were tucked in and sleeping soundly, it was midnight and only seven hours before they had to wake up to escort James to Platform 9 3/4.   
However, Harry and Ginny knew that there was more to talk about. Together they silently walked downstairs to the living room and sat together arm in arm, Ginny laying her head on her husband’s shoulder.  
“You scared?” she asked quietly.  
“A little… are you?”  
Ginny nodded. “What if he finds out? Hagrid may say something; you know how he doesn’t keep secrets well.”  
“I’m sure Hagrid will have better things to talk about than my defeat of Voldemort.”  
“Do you think it is wrong of us to send James to Hogwarts without knowing anything about it? All the kids there will probably know your name and he won’t even know why.”  
“I know but you, Hermione, Ron and myself all agreed to keep it to ourselves for as long as possible.”  
“I know, but surely they are old enough now; I mean, you faced Voldemort for the first time when you were James’ age.”  
“I agree with you, Ginny, but Hermione is so protective of her children as well as ours and I think she still believes them too young to know the whole story.”  
“But perhaps if they just knew a little bit? We could tell them that you defeated Voldemort at the age of seventeen and that you are famous for it.”  
“But you know they will be suspicious as to how I managed to win against the darkest wizard of the age. They’ll ask questions. We’d have to tell them everything.”  
Ginny nodded. “Well, what should we do?”  
“I guess we’ll have to hope that no one mentions it to James. He doesn’t look too much like me and Potter is a pretty common surname. Only the professors will know who he is because he is named after my dad. But when Albus goes to Hogwarts next year…”  
“People will surely recognise him, everyone in the wizarding world must have seen your picture at least once.”  
“Maybe…”  
“Albus wouldn’t last a week without finding out the truth from someone.”  
“Well let’s put it this way. If McGonagall asks me to do another speech for the Defense against the Dark Arts class, then I’ll ensure that you and all three of our children attend it. As you know, I spend the majority of my speech talking about the subject itself and only at the end do the students ask me about Voldemort. So the good thing is that the children won’t find out too much about it, but enough to satisfy them long enough until we have the time to get together with Ron and Hermione.”  
“That sounds like a reasonable plan. Well, I suppose we’ll just have to wait until you receive another invitation from McGonagall and then go from there. I hope she invites you again soon”  
Harry nodded. “So do I, Ginny. Well we better get to bed, tomorrow will be a hectic morning, I expect.”  
Ginny smiled. “I can’t believe James is going to Hogwarts! He’s already 11 years old, it seems like it was only yesterday that we were there ourselves!”  
“Time flies,” Harry replied smiling.  
Together Harry and Ginny walked up the stairs to their bedroom. With his arm wrapped around Ginny’s waist, Harry couldn’t believe how amazing his life was. Yet, despite the plan he had devised with Ginny just now, he still felt anxious about James leaving for Hogwarts the following morning. Although his past made him who he is, Harry wasn’t sure he wanted his children to be exposed to the death, evil and trauma he experienced. Even though he would simply be telling a story when giving his Defense against the Dark Arts speech, he remembered how vivid his imagination was at that age and knew they would see terrible images- Lily may even have nightmares. Harry didn’t want that for his kids, but knew that someday, he would have to tell them everything.  
It took Harry a while after the Battle at Hogwarts to open up to Ginny and allow her to really get to know him. But once he decided to open the door and let her in, he has never looked back…   
One day he hoped he would have the courage to open that same door for his children, but at the moment, he wasn’t quite ready.

*****

“What do I do, Mum?” James asked, jumping around with excitement.  
“See the barrier with the numbers nine and ten above it?”  
James nodded, hardly keeping still.  
“You need to run into it,” Ginny whispered so that none of the muggles nearby could hear her.  
“I’ve got your trunk, James. Hold onto your mother’s hand and-”  
“I can do it by myself!” James exclaimed excitedly and took off towards the barrier, seemingly without a fear in the world. And then he was gone.  
“Awesome!” Albus exclaimed. “Can I go next?”  
Harry nodded his assertion and soon his second son had disappeared through the barrier.  
Harry looked down at his daughter and saw Lily holding tightly onto Ginny’s hand; it seemed she was not yet as brave as her brothers.  
“Come on, sweetie,” Ginny said reassuringly as she and Lily ran at the barrier.  
Having watched them safely enter, Harry pushed the trolley holding James’ trunk and Thor, the owl Harry and Ginny bought their son for his birthday, into the barrier. Harry loved the familiar sensation of him being sucked through the magical wall and couldn’t believe that after eighteen years he was back on Platform 9 ¾. Harry found his family nearby and together they walked towards the train and loaded James’ trunk onto a carriage.  
The whistle on the steam engine blew, a signal for the parents to say goodbye to their children.  
“Goodbye, James. Say hello to Hagrid and Neville for us when you see them, okay?” Harry said as he gave his son a one armed hug goodbye.   
James nodded excitedly; he couldn’t believe he was actually going to meet Hagrid- a half giant and Neville, one of his parents’ greatest friends. Ginny bent down to give her son a hug, a tear in her eye as she kissed him on the cheek. “You be good.”  
“I will, Mum.” James whispered as they let go of one another.  
“Bye, James!” Albus said excitedly. “Send us a letter when you get there; I want to know everything that’s happening. Oh, I can’t wait to go to Hogwarts next year!”  
“Don’t worry, Al, I’ll tell you all about it and make you really jealous,” James smiled menacingly; he had intentions of telling Albus everything, both real and made up.  
“Bye bye, James!” Lily yelled excitedly, though still jealous of James’ going to Hogwarts, she was happy for her brother and couldn’t wait until one day, she too would be catching the Hogwarts Express.  
“Bye, Lily,” James said, giving his sister a quick hug. “When I get the chance I’ll send you a letter too, so keep an eye out for Thor, okay?” Lily nodded, slightly sad now that her biggest brother was leaving for such a long time.  
Finally James went up to his father again and Harry bent down to see his son face to face.   
“Take care, James. Hogwarts is a wonderful place, but make sure you don’t get into too much trouble with Filch; I don’t want a letter from Professor McGonagall for at least a month.” Harry smiled at his son.  
“Okay, Dad.”  
“Make sure you write to us when you get there and remember to tell us which house you get into.”  
“Dad, you know I’m going to get into Gryffindor! There’s no doubt about it!”  
“But just incase, James. Send us a letter or your mother will go crazy with worry.”  
“Okay, Dad,” James sighed.  
“Good, well you better get on the train, the final whistle just blew. See you at Christmas”  
“Bye, Dad,” James whispered as he hugged his father. He knew that it was hard for his parents and siblings to see him go and although he will miss them, he couldn’t wait to get on the train, make some friends and finally learn magic with his new wand.  
After releasing his father, James leapt onto the train and waved to his family from the window. As the train moved away from the station, Harry noticed that James wasn’t the only one looking at him; several of the other children were also staring at him in a peculiar way. All of a sudden, Harry’s heart began to race; the next time James writes to him, he may know the truth about Harry’s past. This terrified Harry tremendously and was now even more anxious to hear from his eldest son.  
Together the family exited the platform. Secretly, without his children seeing, Harry looked at Ginny to see if she too, noticed the many students looking at them. She had and Harry could see her eyes were wide with worry and anticipation.   
Harry could only hope that things would turn out for the best.

*****

When the Potters arrived home, Lily and Albus went upstairs to watch television, still talking about Hogwarts and what James may be doing right now. Meanwhile, Ginny and Harry went to the kitchen to find a letter on the table. Harry looked at the letter, knowing too well it couldn’t be from James. Looking closer at the writing, he realised it was Ron’s messy scribble and tore the letter open, Ginny watching close by.

Hey Harry,  
I hope you and Ginny managed to get James safely off to Hogwarts and that Al and Lily are not missing their brother too much.  
I’m at the office at the moment and thought I should write to you because Kingsley has just told me that a couple of Aurors saw three or four Dementors in a clearing not too far from Hogwarts.  
Harry signaled to Ginny to read over his shoulder. As they continued to read, Ginny’s grip on Harry’s arm became tighter and tighter.  
Of course the ministry will not allow them to get into Hogwarts and have put the necessary security measures around the castle. Obviously, McGonagall has put her own protections up so there is no reason to think that the Dementors could get inside Hogwarts, but perhaps you would like to warn James when you next get the chance, to not go wandering; if he’s anything like Fred, George or even your father, you know he’d want to explore.  
Anyway, Kingsley has informed McGonagall about the Dementors and she will be warning the students about it once they arrive at Hogwarts.  
Kingsley is not too worried about there being a few Dementors around the place as there aren’t many left. He believes they just escaped when one of the guards forgot to replace the protective spells from around the enclosure the Dementors are being kept in. The man will of course be fired- oh well he probably deserves it, poor guy. The Dementors are so weak from not having any dose of ‘happy thoughts’ for so many years, that they didn’t even have the opportunity to affect the Aurors who found them. They probably won’t cause any harm, but you can never be sure. Anyway, there is nothing to worry about; the Aurors have already captured the Dementors and all is well. Just tell James to be on his guard.  
Say hello to Ginny, Al and Lily for me,  
Ron

Harry turned around to look at his wife; she seemed to have frozen in shock. Harry had to admit that he too was slightly worried. Although Ron seemed to think everything was fine, in the last eighteen years, no one had been stupid or careless enough to accidentally forget to put the protective spells around the enclosure. This worried Harry greatly, but as Ron said, the Dementors are back in the enclosure and too weak to do any serious damage anyway. But this did not seem to calm Ginny and Harry felt sure she wouldn’t be able to relax until she heard from their son. Harry hoped that James didn’t forget to write. In all the panic regarding the Dementors, Harry completely forgot about the possibility that James may already know about his past. But that didn’t matter right now; he just wanted his son to be safe.

*****

After spending half the night convincing his wife that James would be okay, she eventually fell asleep. The following morning, Thor was waiting for them at the kitchen table with a letter in his claw. Ginny ran to grab the letter from the owl which hooted madly at the harsh welcome and flew out of the window. Harry looked over Ginny’s shoulder and began to read James’ letter.

Hi Mum and Dad,  
I made it to Hogwarts! I cannot believe how awesome this place is! And of course, just so you know I’M IN GRYFINDOR! It’s so exciting! I met Nearly Headless Nick last night and he remembered you both, stating that he was good friends with you, Dad. But before he could say anymore, a ghost called the Bloody Baron came over and Nick glided away without saying another word. It was a little strange…  
Also, I met McGonagall and she does look really strict, but seemed kind when she addressed us. I haven’t had the opportunity to ask her to transform yet, but I will one day soon! I can’t wait! Hagrid greeted us at the station (he’s huge and not at all scary!) and took us on the little boats across the lake. I kept my eye out for the giant squid, but I didn’t see it. Oh well, maybe another day I’ll get into my swim clothes and jump into the lake to find him for myself. Just joking, Mum!  
Ginny breathed a sigh of relief.  
I said ‘Hello’ to Neville for you, though I have to call him Professor Longbotttom, which will be weird. In fact, my first lesson this morning is Herbology. Professor Flitwick is still here teaching charms and Filch is also here and he has a huge list on the wall with all the objects that are banned from Hogwarts. It seems that the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher has been here since you both left Hogwarts. His name is Professor Derwent and he seems nice enough, but pretty old. Also the potions master is still Professor Slughorn, I remember you talking about him. He doesn’t seem to be doing his Slug club thing anymore, I think McGonagall might have banned it; I heard that in the past students were fighting over who should or should not be members.  
Now it was Harry’s turn to breathe a sigh of relief. That’s all he needed, Slughorn raving to his son about all the marvelous things Harry did. Poor James wouldn’t have any idea why he’d be singled out and couldn’t help but pray that McGonagall had indeed banned the club.  
Also I made friends with the other boys in my dorm and they’re pretty awesome, but I don’t really know them that well yet. But one of them has an older brother who said at the feast last night that he couldn’t wait for Mr Potter to give a talk again. Is he talking about the Defense against the Dark Arts talk you gave a few years ago? When you make the next talk, can I come and listen? I’d really like to!  
McGonagall told us about the Dementors that were seen near Hogwarts and no doubt Mum has been worried. Don’t worry Mum, I will stay out of the way.

Anyway, I better get to class.  
Tell Al and Lily that I’ll write to them soon.  
And Dad, tell Mum to stop worrying about me!  
James

Able to breathe once again; delighted that James was safe and that he was still ignorant of his past, Harry allowed Ginny to continue holding the letter and stood up to get his quill and a pile of parchment. Writing back to his son, he wrote:

Dear James,  
I am so glad that you are enjoying your first day at Hogwarts. It was the place I considered to be my home for many years. Nearly Headless Nick and I were good friends when I was at Hogwarts. Myself, Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione even went to his 500th Deathday party. You should ask him about it sometime. The Bloody Baron is the resident ghost of Slytherin house and most of the ghosts, even Peeves, are scared of him. Have you met Peeves yet? If you do, make sure he doesn’t get you into trouble.   
Yes, McGonagall was always very strict, but fair and generally a kind woman. I’m sure you’ll grow to like her and I’m sure she will transform for you if you ask.  
Please stay out of the lake, I’m sure you’ll see the Giant Squid at some stage, just be patient.  
Professor Flitwick is still there is he? That’s excellent for he is a wonderful charms teacher; you’ll have a lot of fun in his classes, but make sure you pay attention. Filch may be fun to annoy like I have told you, but he does give gruesome punishments, so be responsible or your mother will be more worried than she already is. I do not know of Professor Derwent, but tell me what he’s like when you get the chance. Professor Slughorn did hold Slug clubs and I am glad that Professor McGonagall has put a stop to them for they did cause a few arguments when I was at Hogwarts.  
It’s excellent that you’re making new friends and hopefully they turn out to be nice people with whom you’ll have a long lasting friendship with.  
Yes, the talk your friend’s brother was referring to is the one I gave a few years ago in the Great Hall. Professor McGonagall hasn’t requested that I give another talk, but perhaps with popular demand, it won’t be long before I am at Hogwarts giving the talk once again. And yes, if I do give a talk, I’ll make sure you are able to attend.  
On a more serious note, however, Uncle Ron sent me an owl the morning you went to Hogwarts telling us about the Dementors. He said there was nothing to worry about but told me to tell you to keep your guard up. I want you to be careful, James. I know we haven’t told you much about Dementors, but from what you do know, I hope you will take every precaution to ensure that you do not get in their way. They are dark creatures that can do a lot of harm, so please, for our peace of mind, be careful. 

We’ll pass on your message to Al and Lily.   
Take care James, we miss you and hope you write again soon.  
All our love,  
Mum and Dad.

Harry handed his letter to Ginny for her to read. While she read, Harry became lost in thought. Harry knew it was foolish to think that Snape would still be teaching at Hogwarts because if he were, someone would have seen him. But nevertheless, a small part of Harry hoped that that’s where Snape was; after all these years, Harry still desired to talk to Snape but now, after reading James’ letter, he was forced to push the possibility out of his mind.

When Ginny finished reading the letter, she called Hedwig (named after Harry’s original snowy owl) to take the letter to her son.   
Harry looked eagerly at Ginny’s face, seeing if she was still worried about the Dementors. She seemed okay, though perhaps a bit shaken. Harry gave her a hug and together they walked upstairs to tell their youngest children that they heard from James.

*****

Severus Snape was reading over his potion instructions one more time while he waited for the dark purple liquid in the cauldron to turn into a mauve colour. According to his calculations, the potion should have already changed colour; fifteen minutes of simmering was over. Surely he couldn’t have made a mistake, but then again, this was his own concoction and knew very well that he did have some flaws; he wasn’t perfect. Snape continued to stare at his handwritten instructions, trying to decipher where he went wrong when green flames appeared in the fire place in front of him. Brandishing his wand in front of him, Snape stood up ready to hex whoever entered his home without an invitation. When he finally saw Lucius, he lowered his wand and scowled at his friend.

“I’m sorry, Severus; did I alarm you?” Lucius asked, stepping towards a vacant chair and sitting down.  
“It would have been appreciated if you had contacted me first to say you were coming.”  
“Well due to your fireplace still being connected to the Malfoy Manor floo network, I didn’t think it was necessary. If you do not wish for me to drop by like this, please feel free to disconnect your fireplace from the network.”  
“I merely asked for some notice, Lucius. I thought you of all men would have been courteous enough to give your friend some warning.”  
“Why? Did I interrupt something important? Are you hiding something?” Lucius sneered.  
“No, Lucius, it is the mere principle of it!” Snape was becoming furious with the man. What did he want anyway?  
“I apologise Snape,” not sounding at all sincere. “I just came by to see how you are doing.”  
Snape stared at the man, not knowing whether or not to believe him.  
“You have taken time out of your precious day to see how I am doing? This is a joke, right?” Snape asked without any hint of humour in his voice.  
“Do you realise that you haven’t been out of this house for weeks? The last time I visited you, which was about a month ago, you looked extremely pale. And I return today and you’re even paler. This is ridiculous, Snape! You have to stop this little game and return to the wizarding world.”  
Snape was about to retort, but paused thinking. As much as I hate to admit it, Lucius is right. After eighteen years I am tired of being here at Spinner’s End. As much as I love the solitude, traveling to the muggle markets up the road is no longer the successful trip it once was. I do want to go back to the wizarding world (I’m running out of potion ingredients) but after eighteen years, the idea is too absurd to even consider.  
“I understand that you are concerned, Lucius. But I am fine here and would much rather stay put than enter the wizarding world and cause havoc and concern.”  
“So you plan to live like this for the rest of your life? Do you plan to die alone? If I didn’t visit you every so often, I wouldn’t even know if you were alive! You never make the effort to keep in contact.”  
“Since when have you ever worried about me, Lucius? You have your own family to think of and incase you hadn’t noticed I am a grown man who is perfectly capable of defending and caring for himself.”  
“You may be an adult, but you’re being extremely childish, Snape! You are hiding out in your house like a puppy dog scared of the big bad world. Sure, everyone thinks you are dead, but the fact is that you’re not. You are very much alive, though your skin is so pale I wonder how much longer that will be the case. I risked my life for you and I think it is about time you entered the wizarding world again. I cannot believe you have managed to survive so long by yourself. I don’t think I would be able to last a week living in a muggle infested town, having no contact whatsoever with people in the wizarding world.”  
“Well that would be because you have a family, people who care about you and things you would like to do. Unlike you, I have no one and am perfectly content brewing potions from my lab. Do you have a problem with that?” Snape spat at his friend.  
“Don’t you start getting angry with me, Snape; I am only trying to help you realise the stupidity of your actions. It’s been EIGHTEEN years! It has been so long that Draco is married and has a son and you haven’t even met Scorpius- he’s ten years old! That is how long you have been here Snape! Enough is enough! I am tired of keeping your secrets for you, it is about time you take responsibility for your own actions- your own choices. Stop shutting yourself away and face Potter, talk to him about his mother, for goodness sake, we all know that’s what you think about-”

Lucius stopped himself from continuing when he saw the look his friend gave him. Snape wasn’t angry, but hurt. What Lucius accused him of was entirely true and it worried Snape that even Lucius, who visits him only once a month, could tell what he was thinking- Lucius wasn’t even capable of doing Legilimency. Was Snape really that transparent?  
“Do you even know what Potter has been up to these days? Do you know what’s being happening in the wizarding world?”  
In truth, Snape originally received the Daily Prophet every morning, but eventually became so involved with his own creations and inventions that he hadn’t read a newspaper for the last five or six years.  
Snape shook his head in response to Lucius’ question.  
Malfoy’s eyes were popping; he couldn’t believe how much his friend had isolated himself from the wizarding world.  
“Okay, well allow me to enlighten you. Potter has three children. I don’t know their names or how old they are, but I have seen them once when Potter brought them to work with him to show them around. One of his sons looks exactly like him- it’s unbelieveable, an almost exact resemblance. Potter is still working as an Auror in the department, but is now Head of that department, only recently Kingsley promoted him. Speaking of Aurors, a couple of them spotted some Dementors not far from Hogwarts. It was all over the papers. I wouldn’t be surprised if it shocked a lot of people because, in case you weren’t aware, a Dementor hasn’t been seen out of their enclosure for about eighteen years.”  
Snape didn’t know this. Although he used to get the Daily Prophet, he rarely read the entire thing and mainly kept an eye out for information about Harry and anything about himself that may be in there. It was becoming clear to Snape that he had completely lost touch with the magical world, which prompted him to consider the possibility that he should return to the world he knew he was truly a part of.

“The real reason why I actually came to visit you this morning was because I heard a rumour yesterday afternoon that Minerva McGonagall is looking for a new Defense against the Dark Arts professor as Professor Derwent, I think his name is, is retiring at the end of this year.”  
Snape had a confused look on his face. Was Minerva Headmistress of Hogwarts?  
“Tell me you knew Minerva was Headmistress of Hogwarts,” Lucius asked his friend bitterly.  
Snape shook his head.  
“My God, Snape, I can’t believe your seclusion! You really have shut yourself away from the world, haven’t you? To update you then, Minerva has been Headmistress ever since the Dark Lord’s downfall, the ministry has been very pleased with the changes she has made to the school and I believe she does need a Defense against the Dark Arts teacher for next year.”  
“And how has this got anything to do with me?” Snape asked, knowing too well what Lucius was implying, but wanting to hear his response all the same.  
“I thought that the perfect way for you to re-enter the wizarding world would be to teach your favourite subject at Hogwarts. If you apply for the job, I am sure Minerva will hear you out and likely hire you if all goes well at the Ministry and they give you permission to teach. If Minerva does forgive you, then you can return to Hogwarts and teach. You would no longer be stuck in this dreary place, moping about the past and all you have lost.”  
“I am not going back to Hogwarts, Lucius. I spent so many years of my life there and I would rather not teach little brats again.”  
“Listen to me, Severus. This is the perfect opportunity. I am sick of seeing you cooped up in your home year after year. It is about time you left this place and went back to the wizarding world. Why don’t I inquire about the teaching post for you? If you wish, I can talk to Minerva and see what I can do.”  
“Minerva actually talks to you?” Snape asked, somewhat jealous. He doubted very much that Minerva would ever talk to him after what he did.  
“Yes, she does. Minerva believed Potter’s assertions about me and has consequently put any resentment or hatred aside. And I must say that she has done an excellent job with the school.”  
Snape almost choked on the mead he was drinking.  
“What did you say?”  
Lucius smiled. “As I said, Severus, things have changed. There is harmony in the wizarding world now- it will surprise you greatly. Although some people are still suspicious of me after so many years, a majority are quite civil towards me and I to them.”  
Snape couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Maybe the wizarding world really had changed for the better. Perhaps his returning wouldn’t lead to court cases, punishment or interrogation. Maybe he could just enter the world, stay at Hogwarts and never be seen out of the castle. That way he would never see Potter and be forced to hear the outburst the man so badly wanted to give him eighteen years ago.  
Deciding that perhaps he will heed Lucius’ advice, Snape said: “Fine, Lucius. I give you permission to inquire about this job. Make sure you have a private meeting with Minerva and ensure that no one else hears what you say; I don’t want people knowing the truth until I have decided for certain that I am going to teach at Hogwarts.”  
Lucius nodded and stood up.  
“I congratulate you, Severus for taking this first step.” Lucius said smirking.  
Does he think I am a child or something?  
“I will go to the Ministry now and send an owl to Minerva. If you’ve lost track of the time, it is September the 3rd so another year of Hogwarts has only just begun. I’ll ensure that she contacts you if she is interested.”  
Snape nodded.  
“Stay alive, Snape. I don’t want to return here in a few days time to find that all my efforts were for nothing.”  
Snape nodded again, knowing that Lucius’ attempt at harshness was in fact his way of saying ‘take care’.  
Snape watched the tall, slightly graying man being dissolved by the green flames before picking up his handwritten script and continuing to decipher where he may have gone wrong; the potion was still a deep purple.

*****

The following morning when Snape was eating breakfast, an owl pecked on one of the few windows in Snape’s house. Standing up to open the window, Snape noticed the owl was a tawny, the breed usually used at Hogwarts. Gulping his food down, Snape carefully took the letter off the owl’s leg and stared at it. He didn’t know why he was being so stupid. After all, it was just a letter, not a howler. And yet, Snape felt the letter was more than an indication of whether or not Minerva wanted him to teach, but what she thought of him… if she understood what he did and why. Her response, to Snape, wasn’t about whether he got the job, but whether he would be accepted back into the wizarding world. Having worked with Minerva for many years, he knew she was strict but fair. It gave Snape hope that if she was able to understand, then perhaps others will too.  
Sliding a knife under the Hogwarts seal to open the letter, Snape’s hands were shaking as he opened the parchment out and began to read:

Dear Severus,  
Lucius wrote me a letter yesterday afternoon requesting that he see me in private. I had no idea why he would want to do such thing, but never did I think it would be to inform me that the rumours from eighteen years ago were actually true. He saved you that night and you have been alive ever since without telling a soul except the Malfoys? I didn’t believe him, but he insisted that it was true and to send an owl to you if I still doubted him.   
Lucius told me about your lifestyle and what you have been doing and he asked me to consider you as the Defense against the Dark Arts professor for next year. In all honesty I was inclined to say ‘no’ because for all I knew you and Lucius may have been up to something. Then I thought about Albus and how he always had faith in you. So I decided that you at least deserved the opportunity to teach at Hogwarts again if that’s what you desire. I must also apologise for the way I treated you the last time we met at Hogwarts. From the various accounts I have heard from Albus’ portrait and recently from Lucius, I am forced to believe that you were always on the Order’s side and more loyal to Albus than any of us thought possible. I deeply apologise for my judgment and I do hope you will forgive me, especially if we are to work together in the near future.  
However, before I accept you as a member of staff, the ministry must know of your continued existence and they must also have some form of proof that you are in fact, not going to kill Harry, for example, as some sort of revenge on Voldemort’s behalf. Of course, the ministry would be foolish to think that you have waited so many years for the sole purpose of killing Harry. With Kingsley as minister, I am sure we won’t have a problem. If you wish I can ask Harry Potter to give the evidence required; he was the one who cleared Lucius’ name after all.  
Once the ministry knows of your existence and you have been cleared of all charges, I will gladly accept you as a member of staff at Hogwarts for the year 2016.  
Please send your reply as soon as possible.  
Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall

Snape read the letter over once more to ensure that Minerva was in fact willing to accept him after everything he had done. Snape was grateful that Lucius did not attempt to explain why he had changed sides; somehow he didn’t want people to know about that side of him just yet. First, they had to accept he was alive before they learnt he was in love with Lily Potter.  
Recalling the interview Harry gave eighteen years ago, Snape doubted Harry would clear his name and so decided to suggest that, if the ministry would accept it, for them to ask Dumbledore’s portrait for the required evidence, rather than Potter.

Minerva,  
I maintain no harsh feelings towards you with regard to how you treated me that night. You were doing what you thought was best and if I were you I would have done the same. I was on your side, but acting a different part, I did not expect you to see that and I completely understood why you acted as you did. However, I must admit that I was surprised you wrote to me regarding the teaching position and never thought it possible that you would forgive me. Of course, I am not complaining.  
On a separate note, I suggest that rather than asking Potter for evidence of my innocence, that you ask Dumbledore’s portrait instead. I don’t know how the ministry will react to that request, but I do not feel it would be suitable to bother Potter after all this time; I am sure he would rather forget the whole ordeal ever occurred. I hear that he has children now and I would not want to disrupt his life. Also, if possible, could you attempt to keep my continued existence solely between those who must know? I would rather not draw attention to myself and what I have done. Ideally I would like to reside at Hogwarts, except for holidays and be asked as few questions as possible, especially by the students who have undoubtedly heard a lot about the Battle at Hogwarts, having parents who fought during that time.  
Once you have obtained the necessary documents and cleared my name via Albus’ portrait I hope to hear from you. I understand that my requests are rather selfish, but as Lucius may have told you, I am reluctant to return to the wizarding world after so many years and do not wish to waste my time proving my innocence when I know too well who I am and what I have done. If they need proof, Albus or Lucius can give it to them for I will not represent myself in court begging for their forgiveness and understanding.   
I thank you for your continued trust in me and will do whatever is necessary to ensure my employment so long as it does not involve me entering the wizarding world until September 1st 2016; I don’t want to be exposed to ridicule and questioning until I have to be.  
Remember not to bother Potter.  
Severus

Snape read over his letter before summoning an owl to deliver it to Minerva. He hoped that Minerva would take his advice and not ask Potter for evidence. He dreaded the look on Harry’s face, his green eyes glittering with anger and making every effort to see Snape to give him a piece of his mind. That was the true reason why Snape didn’t want Minerva to contact Harry and inform him of his continued existence; he didn’t want to see Lily’s eyes reflecting the hatred, anger and conceit he always feared Lily felt towards him after he called her a ‘Mudblood’. He would rather never see Harry again and hoped Minerva would respect that and keep his appointment a secret until it was necessary. Now all he had to do was wait until the following year when he would once again return to Hogwarts. As long as he never saw Potter and that the ministry accepts his innocence, Snape would be happy to return to the wizarding world because as much as he hated to admit it, he missed the magical world and couldn’t understand how muggles can be so content within theirs- obviously they didn’t know any better. But Snape was becoming restless in Spinner’s End and couldn’t help but hope that everything would turn out for the best, after all, he was tired of shutting himself away and Lucius was right; it was time to open the door…

*****

“Kinsgley- Lucius- Percy- we are to keep this quiet, understood?” Minerva addressed the three men standing in her office.  
“Of course,” Kingsley replied.  
“Absolutely,” Percy answered.  
Lucius nodded his head in response.  
“Excellent. Kingsley and Percy are here because they require some account or proof as to Severus Snape’s innocence or rather, evidence that he was fighting for Harry Potter’s side as opposed to Voldemort’s eighteen years ago. The minister has graciously accepted evidence from both Albus Dumbledore and Lucius Malfoy if they are willing to give it. Do you wish to go first, Lucius?” Minerva asked Malfoy, realizing that the man looked a little nervous, though she had no idea why.  
“Of course, Minerva. I- I suppose you want me tell you what happened eighteen years ago?”  
“Whatever you please, Lucius, as long as it reflects Severus’ true loyalties,” Minerva replied nodding her head.  
Lucius gulped; he didn’t know if he was ready to retell the story as he had made every effort to forget it himself. “That night, Snape had failed to retrieve Potter for the Dark Lord which I thought was a bit strange at first, but I didn’t question Severus about it. Of course, the Dark Lord tortured Severus for failing to capture the boy but when he saw Potter running into the forest, he ordered Nagini to kill Snape and went to pursue the boy. Later that night, after we thought Potter was dead, Narcissa and I were walking a bit further away from the party trying to find Draco. Ahead we saw a figure lying on the ground and as we walked closer we recognised it to be Snape. I couldn’t believe he was still alive as the Dark Lord implied he had killed the man with the Avada Kedavra curse. Snape told us that Nagini bit him but was summoned to the Dark Lord before she could finish him off. He was very weak and after much persuasion from Narcissa, I took Snape back to our Manor. Once we arrived, I told Greagor, our house elf, to tend to Snape whilst I went back to help Narcissa find Draco. Snape stayed at the manor for five days and on the third day, my family and I decided to confront Snape; we were still suspicious as to why he couldn’t find Potter that night as Draco said he saw Harry several times. He told us, after much persuasion that-” Lucius stopped speaking and looked around the room as if hoping someone would continue for him. Although he had forgiven Severus, he still found it hard to speak of it in such a light manner. Looking towards Dumbledore’s portrait, he saw the old wizard smile at him, encouraging him to continue. Lucius found it strange how much the wizarding world had changed since the Dark Lord’s downfall; never in his life did he imagine that Dumbledore would be smiling at him. Boy was Snape going to get a surprise when he returns to the wizarding world.  
“He told us that he was the Death Eater that overheard the prophecy regarding Potter and that he told our master immediately what he had heard not realizing that the prophecy could have referred to Harry Potter. I continued to question him about it, knowing that he and James Potter deeply disliked each other at Hogwarts. Eventually it occurred to me that he and Lily Potter were in fact friends at Hogwarts and Snape had fallen in love with her…” Lucius trailed off at the end. Everyone in the room was silent, not even the portraits of previous headmasters and headmistresses made a sound. After what felt like an eternity, Lucius continued, having thought of a polite way of describing what happened afterwards without going into huge detail about his disgust at the idea that Severus risked everything for love.  
“Severus told me that ever since the Dark Lord killed Lily he has been working for Dumbledore in an effort to redeem himself. And according to Severus, he had been working for the Order of the Phoenix ever since. I assure you that Severus was not lying to me, there is no reason why he would have said those things unless they were the truth.”  
Albus was nodding his head in agreement.  
“Did you have something to add, Albus?” Kinsgley asked, Percy’s writing hand poised above the parchment ready to write the second account of Snape’s loyalty.  
“I will only second Lucius’ assertions and add that everything Lucius has said with regard to Severus’ interactions with myself and Lily are true. Severus made me promise not to tell anyone about his love for Lily and I have kept my word until this day. When Severus came to me the night Lily died and Harry was left an orphan, I could tell that he was extremely distraught and did not question him further regarding his attachment to Lily as it was clear that he loved her deeply. He agreed to help me protect Harry, in honour of Lily’s sacrifice and has done so ever since. With regard to him killing me all those years ago, I will openly state for the records that I ordered him to kill me for I was dying anyway and it was necessary for Voldemort to maintain his complete trust in Severus. Severus didn’t want to obey my orders, but true to his word he murdered me when the time was right. I ask that you do not punish him for any of his actions because there was hardly anything the man did that was not first my idea.”  
“So do you, Albus and you, Lucius believe that Severus Snape is fit, able and deserving of the post of Defense against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry?” Kingsley asked in a professional tone.  
“Absolutely, I am only sorry I wasn’t able to give him the job for all the years he was teaching at Hogwarts, but as you probably know, the position was jinxed and so I couldn’t give him the job. I would be very happy if Severus were to return to Hogwarts and be able to teach his favourite subject, it is the least he deserves.”  
“What about you, Lucius?” Kingsley inquired.  
“I feel he is ready to leave his home and face everything he has left behind. Eighteen years is more than enough time to absorb what has happened and I feel that a position at Hogwarts would be an ideal step for him to take.”  
“Very well, I give you permission to inform Severus Snape that he is allowed to return to Hogwarts to teach and I will send you the official documents tomorrow morning to show that Severus has been let off with no charge for any of his actions,” Kingsley addressed Minerva. “Have you written down all the notes we need?” Kingsley addressed Percy.  
“Yes, Shacklebolt, everything we need is here.”  
“Well done, Percy. But before we depart, I thought I would tell you Minerva that a couple more Dementors were found a couple of kilometers from Hogwarts this morning. They have been caught, but we are still no closer to finding out who the perpetrator is, I am sorry to say. But nevertheless, I thought you should be kept informed of what is happening with regard to matters such as these.”  
“Thank you, Minister, I appreciate the update,” Minerva asserted, a little worried that the release of the Dementors didn’t seem to be an accident.  
“Good day Lucius, Albus, Minerva; we’ll be in touch.”  
“Wonderful, Kingsley, thank you very much for taking the time to come here and accept a rather strange mode of evidence.  
“It is my pleasure, Minerva. I assume you will inform Severus of his appointment?”  
“Yes, I will Minister. Thank you.”  
“Come on, Percy, let’s get back to the office.” Percy looked around the office one final time, the expression on his face made it clear that he could hardly believe that everything Harry had told him about Snape was in fact true. Although he was disappointed that he couldn’t tell anyone about what he heard, especially the fact that Snape was still alive, Percy knew better than to disobey a direct order from Kinsgley; there was no way he was risking his position at the Ministry of Magic.

Once Lucius followed behind the Minister, thanking Minerva as he left, Minerva was left to her thoughts. Although she didn’t know the full reason as to why Severus wished to keep his existence a secret, she did know how much it would mean to Harry Potter that Snape was still alive. Minerva was puzzled as to why Snape seemed to think Harry would not wish to know about his continued existence. Eventually Minerva managed to convince herself that she knew better than Snape in this particular situation. Although Minerva was not someone to meddle in other people’s lives, she felt that this was something she had to do…


	7. It's not much, but it's home

One year later

Ever since Minerva informed Snape that he had been accepted as the Defense against the Dark Arts professor, Snape had made an effort to keep in contact with Lucius more often. Although he never ventured into the wizarding world incase he saw Potter, he did decide to settle his affairs in Spinner’s End so that he could return to the magical world in the near future.  
It is now August 2016 and one more month until Snape would be returning to Hogwarts. Only a couple of days ago, Snape met Scorpius, Draco’s son and couldn’t believe how much he looked like Draco. If Lucius thought that was nothing special, then he shuddered to think how much Potter’s son resembled his father. Scorpius seemed intelligent enough, but having been raised as a Malfoy, he had obtained many of the prejudices and the upper class snobbish air that was associated with wealthy, pure blood wizarding families. When Snape dined with the Malfoys two nights ago, Lucius seemed pleased with Snape’s slow progress back into the wizarding world and he reassured Severus that Scorpius would not mention anything about their meeting until he returns to Hogwarts later that year.   
Back at home however, Snape was attempting to organize his potions. After nineteen years, Snape realised you begin to gather many concoctions but have no where to store them. Snape didn’t wish to tip them down the sink, nor vanish them so decided to keep a sample of each in bottles and place them on the shelf incase he ever wished to use or recreate a particular potion; he liked to keep a record of the potions he has created. However, there was one potion Snape was still in the middle of brewing, one of his own creation. Unfortunately, the first stage of brewing takes roughly four months, so he wouldn’t be able to add the other ingredients until around Christmas time.   
After cleaning his lab, with only the cauldron filled with green liquid left on the table, Snape was satisfied that he was ready to leave for Hogwarts in a couple of weeks.

That night, Severus woke up at four in the morning. He cursed himself and turned over in an attempt to go back to sleep, but images from his nightmare kept returning. Recently, Severus was having dreams about going back to Hogwarts and what may happen. He realised the entire thing was ridiculous as there was no way his students would laugh at him and call him ‘Snivellus’. Nevertheless, he couldn’t stop the past from haunting him. The most vivid dreams he had however, were of Harry confronting Snape for the first time in nineteen years and Snape being forced to endure a fifteen minute rage where all he could focus on was the anger in Harry’s green almond shaped eyes…  
Snape knew that he would probably never see Harry again unless he chose to see him which of course, would never happen. Severus knew that Harry was not a professor at Hogwarts and as long as he stayed away from the ministry, Snape felt he was safe from being yelled at by Potter. Yet despite all of these reassurances, Snape still had nightmares and it angered him greatly that he was so worried about Potter and his opinion of him. After all, that ‘boy’ was now a man… a man he hoped never to see again, for Harry would have nineteen years of welled up anger ready to throw at Snape the moment they meet again. Snape contented himself with the possibility that he never would have to endure such a moment.

*****

Dear Mr. Potter,  
It is with great pleasure to invite you back to Hogwarts to give a speech, by popular demand from the students themselves. However, I have restricted the audience to the Defense against the Dark Arts class doing their fifth year because I hope you will be able to give them some useful information regarding NEWT level DADA, and perhaps persuade them to continue with the subject. It would be ideal if you could suggest a time that would suit you, but if you are flexible, the first day of classes would be ideal so the students will not be distracted in classes prior to your arrival. Of course, the choice is completely up to you. I look forward to your reply.  
Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall

Harry smiled broadly as he put the letter down. The previous year, Ginny and he had discussed what would happen if Minerva were to invite him to Hogwarts again and he couldn’t help but be excited that in only a months time his children will know a little bit more about their father. Of course, he would have to ask Minerva if James, Albus and Lily would be able to attend, but felt that the headmistress wouldn’t mind in the slightest.  
After James returned from a full year at Hogwarts without finding out anything significant about Harry’s past (a fact that amazed Harry and Ginny), Harry was relieved that soon the truth would be known by his children and there would be no more anxiety associated with James’ letters.   
This year, however was Albus’ first at Hogwarts and although Al was intelligent and more than ready to attend Hogwarts, his older brother gave him a hard time and made up several stories to make Albus fear his first year at Hogwarts. Harry and Ginny tried to discourage their eldest son from tormenting their youngest, but to no avail. Harry began to wonder if the friends James had made were having a bad influence on his son, but decided that perhaps as an older brother, teasing and tricking were a part of the job- Ron assured him that it is.  
Nevertheless, Harry wanted to ensure that Al had a great first year at Hogwarts and felt that him giving a speech during the first day of classes would be ideal and a convenient way of reassuring Albus that there were no regurgitating toilets, monstrous direction-giving spiders and no sheets that may suffocate you in your sleep which James so carefully created for Al to fear.  
Before writing back to Minerva, however, he needed to ensure that Ginny would be able to come as it will be a big moment for both of them.  
“Ginny, can you come down here for a moment, please?”  
“What is it, Harry?”  
“I received this from Professor McGonagall.”  
“Is it what I think it is?” Ginny asked both excitement and apprehension evident in her voice.  
Harry nodded.  
“When did she want you to give the talk?”  
“She said she would prefer the second of September, but I want to make sure that you can come too; it will be an important moment for all of us.”  
“Well unfortunately I won’t be able to make it on the second, because I already agreed to attend a Quidditch match that day: Holyhead Harpies vs the Chudley Cannons. Ron is so jealous.”  
Harry had no doubt about that; Ron had only been complaining about it in the office for the past two weeks, but Harry had no idea the match was on the second. “Okay, well I’ll write back to Minerva and change the-”  
“No, don’t be silly, you should go that day. I won’t be at home all day and I’ll need someone to take care of Lily anyway, so it would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to go to Hogwarts.”  
“But Ginny-”  
“It’s alright, Harry. I will be at home when you return and I am sure Lily will tell me all about it.”  
“But-”  
“And besides, it’s your story, not mine,” Ginny tried to reason with her husband. Although Ginny was smiling, her husband was frowning, he almost looked angry.  
“Ginny, you know very well that you are also a huge part of this story, it was your past too, not just mine!”  
“But you were the ‘Chosen One’, Harry,” Ginny knew she was tipping her husband over the edge.  
“Don’t say that, Ginny! For heaven’s sake, I haven’t been referred to in that way for years! I am now as normal as anyone else; there is nothing special about me anymore!”  
“But there was, Harry,” Ginny replied calmly.  
“You know I couldn’t have done it without you! Without Ron and Hermione! Don’t try and make me sound like the hero. I want you to be there when I tell our children about our past!’  
“Harry, sweetie, listen to me; I understand what you are saying, but I honestly think that getting the talk out of the way would be the best option. I know that you will look after our children and remember to omit the scary and gruesome parts and keep to the basic facts until we can get together with Ron and Hermione to explain the rest. I know the story concerns me too, but you are the only person who knows the full story and seeing as you were the boy who defeated Voldemort at the time, I think it right that you should be the one to tell them. You don’t need me there and the children certainly won’t; they’ll be too excited and will have several questions for you to answer. It’ll be fine, Harry, I promise.”  
Harry looked into his wife’s eyes and knew that she meant well. But he still didn’t feel right telling his children their story without her there. Hopefully he wouldn’t have enough time to explain too much, but deep inside, he knew that was unlikely for the students didn’t often care about the subject, but rather the use of Defense against the Dark Arts.  
After Ginny gave him a kiss on the cheek and placed a piece of parchment and a quill before him, Harry decided that perhaps his wife was right; the second of September was as good a day as any and although Ginny wouldn’t be there, he couldn’t wait for that day to come.  
*****

“Uncle Ron! Aunt Hermione! Rose! Hugo! Over here!” James was waving, jumping up and down in an attempt to attract the attention of his relatives. Finally, over the hustle and bustle on Platform 9 ¾ , Ron and his family made their way towards the Potters.  
“Hey, Rose! Are you excited to go to Hogwarts?” James asked with so much enthusiasm that Rose was taken aback. Harry had the feeling that his son, having already been at Hogwarts for a year, felt extremely confident in returning and enjoyed basking in his cousin’s and brother’s nervousness.  
Rose nodded her head in response to James.  
“You’re just like Albus, neither of you are talking about Hogwarts! It’s not that bad, honest! But the Sorting Hat may swallow your head if it can’t figure out which house you belong in, we saw that happen to one boy in my year, but other than that-”  
“James!” Ginny interrupted. “There is no need to lie to you Rose and Albus; they are scared enough as it is from all your other stories.” Bending down slightly to make eye contact with her youngest son and niece she said: “I promise you that the Sorting Hat will not swallow your head because firstly, it is incapable of it and secondly, there is always a house for everyone who attends Hogwarts.”  
Rose looked convinced and when she saw the reassuring nod her mother gave her, she relaxed substantially. However, Albus didn’t seem reassured and continued to fidget with his clothes.  
“Oh, I can’t wait to go to Hogwarts! Me and Hugo are the only ones not going now!” Lily exclaimed. Despite having heard so many of James’ stories, regardless of how scary they were, she still couldn’t wait to go to Hogwarts and make up stories of her own.  
“Just two more years, Lily,” Harry replied, smiling at his daughter who, every year never failed to remind Harry of Ginny’s behaviour when Ron was going to Hogwarts for his first year.  
“Harry, Ginny, turn around,” Hermione said quietly. Harry and Ginny spun around and saw the white-blonde head of Draco Malfoy. Standing next to him was, what looked like an exact replica, but with less mature features and of smaller stature. The four adults continued to stare, but the children lost interest because they couldn’t see over the sea of heads. Noticing their glances, Draco looked towards them and stared back. It wasn’t an aggressive stare, but perhaps one of interest. Although Draco worked in the ministry with his father and they had all seen each other since their Hogwarts days, they never spoke and consequently never knew they had children of roughly the same age.   
“That must be Scorpius,” Hermione announced quietly.  
“How do you know his name, Hermione?” Ron asked, for he continued to be bedazzled by his wife’s knack for knowing things before anyone else.  
“Because I listen, Ron. People in the office were talking about it, stating that Draco’s son, Scorpius would be starting Hogwarts this year.”  
“And you never told me?”  
“Why does it concern you?”  
“Because if I never found out, I would never have been able to tell Rose this-” attracting Rose’s attention, he said: “there’s a boy in your year named Scorpius Malfoy. He’s bound to be in Slytherin. His father is a no good, two-faced, son of a-”  
“Ron!” Hermione snapped.  
“Sorry, Hermione. Um, well, just make sure you beat him in every test okay, Rosie?”   
Rose smiled confidently and replied: “I’ll try my best, Dad”   
Ron nodded and stood back up whispering to Ginny and Harry. “And her best really is good enough. I am so relieved she inherited Hermione’s brains.”  
“I can hear you, Ron.”  
Ron blushed and continued a private conversation with Hermione.  
Unknown to the other members of the party, while Ron was talking, Harry continued to look at Draco and was surprised when he saw Draco nod at him. He was sure it was a nod and felt it suitable to nod in reply. Harry didn’t fully know what it was, but since the Battle at Hogwarts, although the two men could never be friends, they were civil and almost respectful of one another. While Draco felt, though would never admit, that he was in debt to Harry Potter for saving his life twice, Harry also maintained a certain respect for Draco who unfortunately became caught up in the Dark Arts out of fear and pressure from his father and not because he desired it. Turning away from Draco, he silently hoped that Albus would not be accustomed to ridicule from Scorpius and if he was, Harry hoped against all reason that Draco may try to discipline Scorpius.  
The whistle blew and James, Rose and Albus said goodbye to everyone present, their trunks already on the carriage they’d be sitting in together. When Albus finally reached his father, he looked up at his dad and motioned for Harry and bend down.  
“It’s okay, Al you’ll be fine. Don’t listen to James; he’s just trying to rile you up.” Harry reassured his son, knowing that that is what he was worried about.  
Albus nodded, but then whispered into Harry’s ear.  
“Dad, what if I’m in Syltherin?”  
Harry was slightly taken aback; his son had never mentioned a fear of which house he would be in, probably because he was so preoccupied with James’ stories. Nevertheless, Harry leaned close to his son and whispered back: “Albus Severus, you were named after two of Hogwarts’ greatest headmasters. One of them was in Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.” Al looked wide-eyed at his father because although he knew he was named after two men, for some reason he thought they were famous people that his father admired, but never met. Having learnt that his father seemed to know ‘Albus’ and ‘Severus’, Al was dying to hear more. However, there was still a pressing matter he wanted to discuss before he went to Hogwarts.  
“But let’s just say I get put in Slytherin…”  
“Well your mother and I would be just as proud of you had you been put into Gryffindor or any other house. Besides, if you really don’t want to be put in Slytherin, you don’t have to be; the Sorting Hat takes your wishes into account.”  
“James never told me that!”  
“That’s because he doesn’t know,” Harry smiled, knowing that Albus would enjoy knowing something James didn’t.  
“But how do you know, Dad?”  
“Because the Sorting Hat considered putting me in Slytherin, but I asked it not to.”  
The final whistle blew, but Albus didn’t realise as he continued to stare at his father with his mouth hanging open dramatically. Harry stood back up and brought James to where he and Al were standing.  
“I will see you two tomorrow,” Harry whispered.  
“What!?” James replied.  
“Shhh, James. This is a secret- no one else must know I’m coming because it is a surprise. So I want you both to promise that you will not tell ANYONE that I am coming, okay?”  
Albus nodded, a bit of colour coming back to his face, realizing that he’d see his father again soon.  
“Can we tell Rose, Dad?” James asked a bit more quietly.  
“No James, not yet. Just keep it to yourselves for now.”  
“Why are you coming to Hogwarts, Dad?” Albus whispered.  
“You’ll just have to wait and see. Now be careful on your way to Hogwarts, I don’t want to greet two injured children when I arrive tomorrow, okay?”  
“Okay, Dad. See you tomorrow then!” James said a little louder, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear.  
“Bye, Dad,” Albus said giving his father a hug around the middle.  
“Bye, Al,” Harry replied, a little concerned for Albus; he knew his second child was not as adventurous as his siblings, but comforted himself that it was only James’ stories that made Al so frightened of attending Hogwarts. After all the children boarded the train and the doors closed, Harry noticed again that many of the students were looking in his direction.  
“Uncle Harry, why is everyone staring at you?” Rose asked.  
“It’s because of me, Rosie; I am extremely famous,” Ron replied smiling.  
However, Harry looked at his two sons and winked at them as they moved away from the platform. Both boys looked at each other excitedly; apparently they understood the hidden meaning behind their father’s gesture.  
Harry couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

*****

“Come in,” Minerva asserted when she heard the knock on her office door. Severus Snape entered the room looking as pale as chalk, but otherwise exactly how she remembered him. In all honesty, she was beginning to wonder if the man even existed, because despite having accepted him as a new member of staff, she hadn’t actually seen him for the last nineteen years.   
“Good evening, Severus. I was wondering when you would get here. How are you?” Minerva asked sincerely, attempting to detect any form of emotion, anxiety perhaps, in the man she last thought to be a Death Eater. She was still finding it difficult to accept that the man standing before her was not the harsh, cynical man she always thought he was but an extremely loyal and brave individual who risked everything for love.  
“I’m fine, Minerva, thank you,” Snape replied in a courteous tone, his face paler than she ever saw it before.   
Minerva was still concerned, but thought better than to push the matter. “The students should be arriving in about half an hour, so unfortunately you won’t have much time to unpack.”  
“It was my fault I was so late, Minerva, it took me much longer to pack than I anticipated,” Snape replied.  
“It’s not a problem. I just have a couple of things to discuss with you before I greet the students and you get settled into your quarters. Please, take a seat,” Minerva requested.  
Severus walked over to the chair opposite the desk that was once his- once Dumbledore’s and sat down, staring at Dumbledore’s empty portrait.  
“Firstly, there have been a few minor rule changes since you left Hogwarts.” Snape was interested in what these changes were for he never really thought there was anything wrong with Albus’ rules.  
“Rest assured that Albus himself has asserted that the changes are reasonable.” Minerva looked at Dumbledore’s still empty portrait, not the least bit worried that it was empty.  
“So, with regard to Horace’s ‘Slug Club’, it has been banned from this school after having far too many interhouse rivalries and fights over who should and should not be members. I am surprised the club was allowed when you were at school, but nevertheless, it is no longer allowed at Hogwarts whilst I am headmistress.”  
Snape nodded his understanding.  
“Secondly, due to the several incidents last year where Dementors were found near the castle, I have put a new security measure around the castle to prevent Dementors or any other unwanted guests from entering Hogwarts grounds. I hope that these measures will be enough to prevent any attacks if Dementors were to escape again.”  
Snape nodded, grateful that Lucius informed him about the Dementors this time last year, otherwise he wouldn’t know what Minerva was talking about and didn’t particularly want to inform her how much he had separated himself from their world.  
“And finally, with regard to detentions,” Minerva paused, ensuring that Snape was listening loud and clear. “Under no circumstance will any teacher give more than two detentions to any student for any incident, nor will any teacher make that child lose any more than 100 points for their house for a single incident. If you think that more than the designated point loss or amount of detentions is necessary, the student and yourself are to see me. Is that understood?”  
Snape nodded, smirking; he wouldn’t be surprised if Minerva only introduced the rule this year to prevent him from tormenting the students like he used to.  
“Do not worry, Minerva. I will obey your rules. After all, you know I obeyed Dumbledore’s every order while he was alive and you won’t be any different.” He looked significantly at Minerva and she could tell that he was referring to the year previously when Albus had informed Kinsgley, Percy and Minerva of the truth regarding Snape’s murder of him. Lucius went to Spinner’s End immediately after the meeting took place and informed Snape of what the people present now knew. At first, Snape was uneasy with them knowing so much and consequently subscribed to the Daily Prophet again, to monitor any of them releasing any of their knowledge to the media. However, Snape found no such evidence of their treachery and was grateful that even Percy Weasley was trustworthy.  
“Well I think that is all I need to discuss with you, Severus. I have cleared out the dungeons for you. I hope you will be comfortable there.”  
“Thank you, Minerva, I’m sure I will be.”  
“I will see you at the feast, Severus.”  
Snape nodded, “I will be there once I have unpacked my things.”  
“Not a problem, I will see you soon.”  
As Snape walked towards the door, Minerva thought of something else to address. “Oh, before you go, Severus, I wish to inform you that Professor Sprout left the staff a few years ago and has been replaced by Neville Longbottom.” Snape smirked, knowing too well why Minerva wished to inform him of this. “He does not yet know that you are returning to Hogwarts and I plead with you to not give him any reason to be fearful; I do not want the Herbology students failing because their professor is unable to think straight.”  
“Do not worry yourself, Minerva, I am sure Professor Longbottom and I will get along just fine.” Minerva wasn’t entirely convinced because Snape was still sneering.  
Snape exited the headmistress’ office to unpack.  
“The students are here, Minerva,” Albus’ portrait said, the frame now filled with the face of a man with a long crooked nose, long silvery white hair and sparkling blue eyes looking over a pair of half-moon spectacles.  
“Thank you, Albus. Severus was here just now.”  
“Oh really? How is he?”  
“He seems fine, though he is abnormally pale. I wonder if Lucius was being serious when he said Snape hadn’t left his house except to get the bare necessities from a muggle town. Do you believe it Albus?”  
Dumbledore stared in the top right hand corner of his frame, lost in thought.  
“You know what, Minerva? I do believe that Lucius was telling the truth.”  
“Do you really think Severus would subject himself to that kind of, well, seclusion?”  
“I do, Minerva, but you better get to the students, they’ll be in the Great Hall by now.”  
“Did you get the opportunity to see Albus Potter?” Minerva asked with curiosity for she had never seen the boy.  
Albus blushed, he couldn’t believe that Harry and Ginny named their second son after him, but was absolutely flattered all the same. “I did. Don’t worry you will not have any problem identifying him; he looks exactly like his father did when he was that age.”  
“Wonderful, well I better go. Are you going to join us in the Great Hall to watch the sorting?” Minerva asked, knowing that Albus often traveled through other portraits in the castle in order to attend the sorting ceremonies.  
“Perhaps I will, just for the sorting; I wouldn’t want to draw attention to myself.”  
“I will see you down there, Albus.”  
“Absolutely. Enjoy welcoming the new students, won’t you?”  
“I always do,” she replied smiling as she walked briskly from her office, closing the door behind her.

*****

After dinner, Lily was still talking in a frantic fashion about her two brothers and what they would be doing right now at Hogwarts. Ginny informed her that they would still be on the train and about thirty minutes from arriving at the castle. Lily was so excited that Harry doubted his daughter would get any sleep that night, and he still hadn’t told her that she was in fact going to Hogwarts tomorrow, if only for a brief visit.  
“I so can’t wait to go to Hogwarts! I just can’t wait!”   
Ginny and Harry looked at each other almost laughing.  
“Well you won’t have to wait, Lily.” Harry replied, smiling broadly.  
“What do you mean?” Lily asked quickly, wanting to make sure she heard correctly.  
“I am going to Hogwarts tomorrow and you are coming with me,” Harry stated. He was then greeted with the beautiful smile his daughter displayed whenever she was truly happy about something.  
“Seriously, Daddy? You’re taking me to Hogwarts?”  
“Yes, I am.”  
“Is Mummy coming?” Lily asked looking towards her mother.  
“No sweetie, Mummy’s going to a Quidditch match tomorrow, so you’ll have to spend the day with your father, I hope you don’t mind,” Ginny asserted in a humorous, almost sarcastic tone, knowing full well that her daughter won’t mind at all.  
“So you better go to bed soon, Lily because we need to wake up early tomorrow morning.”  
“Okay!” Lily exclaimed and leapt off her seat and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth.  
“I’ve never seen her so excited,” Ginny stated, smiling after her daughter. “You’re going to have a lot of fun with them tomorrow.”  
“I don’t know how much she’s going to like apparating though; I never liked it when I was a kid.” Harry told his wife, a little concerned that the side-long apparation will ruin his daughter’s day.  
“I don’t think she will mind in the slightest. After hearing your talk I’m sure it will be the last thing on her mind.” Ginny reassured her husband.  
“I hope so,” Harry replied smiling slightly. He felt like a school boy all over again; just like his daughter, he couldn’t wait to go to Hogwarts again.

*****

Snape was happy to be back in the dungeons. They were exactly as he remembered them, though perhaps the tiles were a bit cleaner and there wasn’t as much grime on the ceiling. He was glad to see that no one removed the jars of animal parts or the potions ingredients which were still on their shelves. Resting his luggage on a couch in his quarters, Snape sat down at his desk, hardly believing that he was back at Hogwarts; he had made it without any trouble so far and hoped it continued this way. After unpacking some of his books, clothes and materials from his trunk, Snape’s stomach grumbled and, realizing he hadn’t had a decent meal in nineteen years, left his office in the direction of the Great Hall. Entering from the back door, Snape quietly creaked the door open and walked in what he hoped was a normal, dignified manner towards his seat on the left of Professor McGonagall. To the right of Minerva sat Professor Flitwick, who Snape supposed to be Deputy Headmaster, who greeted Snape with a friendly smile and wave, before tipping backwards off his stool. Minerva helped the man back up, a few of the students were laughing. Minerva signaled to Snape that she would introduce him to the students once they had all finished eating. Snape nodded and became occupied with the Syltherin table, trying to find Scorpius. He didn’t have to look long before he found the white-blonde hair standing out in the sea of other darker colours. Scorpius spotted Snape looking at him and waved. Snape tilted his head in the boy’s direction and continued to scan the tables. Obviously he had already missed the sorting, not that he cared; the process was usually lengthy and rather boring. Snape began to eat from some of the dishes in front of him and relished the taste of roast chicken, beef and pork before starting on roast potatoes and gravy and a glass of cool meade. He couldn’t remember the last time he had such a wonderful meal- well actually he could, it was nineteen years ago when he became Headmaster of Hogwarts. He was glad to see that the house elves hadn’t lost their touch because although he would never admit it, Severus always enjoyed Hogwarts feasts.  
“May I have your attention please?” Minerva called out, tapping her glass with her spoon and standing up. Soon the students’ voices died down, Snape was rather pleased with their obedience. Realising that Minerva was probably about to introduce him, he quickly chewed the food in his mouth.  
“I hope you all enjoyed the feast and to all the first years, I hope Hogwarts has met your expectations.”  
Many of the younger children nodded in agreement because no matter how much their parents and older siblings told them about Hogwarts, they were never truly prepared for the several dishes of food to appear in front of them as if out of no where.  
“Some of you may have noticed that we have a new addition to the staff this year. Professor Derwent retired at the end of last year as the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. So I would like to introduce his replacement, Professor Snape,” Professor McGonagall announced, gesturing towards Snape who held up his hand briefly in a small wave, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. Scorpius was clapping and cheering and some of the friends the boy had already made were joining in the celebration. Snape was grateful to them. However, as Severus looked around the hall, he noticed some students looked a little nervous because Snape, although a little kinder on the inside, still looked like his dark, menacing self on the outside. Many students were whispering behind their hands looking worried, others seemed confused and Snape had a dreadful feeling that some students recognised the name ‘Snape’ from their parent’s accounts regarding the Battle at Hogwarts. Once students began to write letters home to their parents regarding their new teacher, he could imagine Minerva getting several complaints from parents regarding her appointment of him. He sincerely hoped that such a thing would not occur and that parents express more of a shock as opposed to a fear towards his continued survival.   
After the noise died down, Minerva continued: “Finally I have one more announcement for fifth year students doing Defense against the Dark Arts,” Snape looked at Minerva in astonishment. “I suggest that you get an early sleep tonight because you won’t want to be late for your first class tomorrow morning.” With that, several of the students began to talk excitedly, many of whom knew what was going to happen: Harry Potter was going to give another talk and they couldn’t wait. Snape didn’t notice this however, because he was still staring at Minerva in disbelief. Finally he said to her in a sarcastic tone: “I know I’m brilliant, but I wouldn’t want you getting their hopes up over my classes.”  
“Don’t worry, Severus; I thought that seeing as you arrived a little late to Hogwarts today that you may not have time to prepare your first lesson for tomorrow, so I took the liberty of organizing something for you.” Snape looked at her inquisitively, a little nervous by the way Minerva was talking about this event she had planned.  
“What have you organized, Minerva?”  
“You will see,” the headmistress replied, smiling.  
Snape was still slightly worried about Minerva’s plan when he left the staff table and walked towards the dungeons, hoping to get a good night’s sleep so that he would be prepared for whatever would face him tomorrow morning.


	8. The consequences of our actions

Stepping out of number 12 Grimmauld Place, Harry held Lily’s hand tightly as they descended the stairs and turned down an alley way. Quietly, Harry said to his daughter: “We’re going to Apparate now, just hold tight to my hand, it won’t take long.” Lily nodded and Harry could tell she was a little afraid, but hoped her fear would be eliminated once she set her eyes on Hogwarts. Spinning on the spot, holding Lily close to him, Harry felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through a rubber tube. After only a couple of seconds, Harry and Lily landed on the outskirts of Hogwarts grounds.  
“Lily, are you alright?” Harry asked his daughter, bending down to get a good look at her face. At first, Lily seemed a bit disoriented and didn’t answer her father, but eventually she answered, “I don’t like Apparating much.”   
Harry smiled.   
“Neither did I when I first Apparated. Do you feel okay?”  
“Yes, Daddy.” And then as if only just realizing where she was, Lily exclaimed “I can see Hogwarts!”  
Harry laughed. “Yes Lily that’s Hogwarts. Well we better get moving; we need to find your brothers.”  
“Why are we here anyway, Dad? Are Albus and James in trouble?”  
“No, Lily, Professor McGonagall asked me to come. Don’t worry; you’ll find out what we’re doing soon enough.”  
Lily nodded and held her father’s hand as they began to walk towards the castle. Lily was in awe when she saw how large the front door was and by the beautiful grounds that surrounded the castle. However, she never spoke; it seemed she was beyond speech as she stared open mouthed at the school that one day she would attend. Harry loved watching his daughter spinning around trying to look in every direction and he couldn’t imagine how she would react once they entered the castle.   
Harry tried to open the doors, but they were secured. Producing his Patronus, Lily taking no notice of it for she had seen the stag several times, Harry sent it to Minerva to inform her of their arrival. After a minute or so, Harry heard footsteps behind the door and the door opened. The sound attracted Lily’s attention, so she spun around and looked up into the face of Professor McGonagall.  
“Good morning, Professor McGonagall.” Harry said happily; he was delighted to be back at Hogwarts.  
“Good morning, Mr Potter. And this must be Lily,” Minerva said kindly, looking at Lily. Lily nodded, apparently too afraid to speak. “I have just sent for Albus and James, they should be joining us in the dungeons very soon. If you would both like to follow me,” McGonagall gestured as she led the way towards the dungeons. Last time Harry gave a talk, he spoke in the Great Hall for anyone who wished to listen. He found it a little discomforting that he would be giving his talk in the dungeons for the place brought back so many memories. Harry felt sorry for Professor Derwent who may have been forced to reside in what was Snape’s quarters many years ago. However, Harry’s concerns disappeared when he saw his two sons running up to him from the other end of the corridor.  
“Dad! Hi Dad! Hi Lily! What is happening? What are we doing in the dungeons? Isn’t the Slytherin common room somewhere near here?” Albus asked excitedly, with a hint of nervousness. After only being at Hogwarts for a day, he already knew where the Slytherins congregated and had no desire to go anywhere near them.  
“Correct, the Slytherin common room is down here, but there is no need to worry about that, Mr Potter as they are in class.,” Minerva answered.  
Albus looked slightly more reassured. Then looking at his father, Albus stated: “I was put into Gryffindor, Dad!”  
“That’s wonderful, Al, well done!” Harry replied beaming, happy that his child was no longer concerned with which house he would be in.  
“Well if you all wish to enter the classroom to the right, we can get started,” Minerva instructed.  
“But we still don’t know what we’re doing here,” James said pointedly.  
Minerva looked at Harry slightly shocked, though amused by how much Harry enjoyed surprising his children.   
“Shall I wait for you to explain, Mr Potter?” Minerva asked with a thin smile upon her face.  
“That would be great, thanks Professor McGonagall.” Minerva walked into the classroom and closed the door behind her.  
Harry turned to his children and, remembering what he and his wife discussed, Harry told them what was about to happen.  
“Do you guys remember a few years ago when I came to Hogwarts to give a speech?”  
“Yes!” James exclaimed, absolutely ecstatic.   
“Well Professor McGonagall invited me to come and talk to a group of fifth years who are doing Defense against the Dark Arts to tell them a little bit about the subject and how it can be used.”  
“Did Professor McGonagall invite you because you are the head of the Auror department, Dad?” Lily asked.  
Harry paused. “Well that’s what I wanted to talk to you three about before we go inside. My answer,” turning to Lily, “is no; Professor McGonagall did not ask me to come because I am an Auror.”  
“Why else would she ask you, Dad?” Albus asked, looking a little worried.  
“Because I have had to defend myself against the Dark Arts before I became an Auror,” Harry replied slowly, wanting to make sure he said everything correctly, but not give too much away until he was inside.  
“Really? But didn’t you become an Auror when you were seventeen, Dad?” James questioned.  
“Yes,” Harry replied hesitantly.  
“So you fought against the Dark Arts when you were underage?” Albus asked, impressed.  
Harry nodded.  
“But why, Dad? Who did you fight?”  
Harry paused, looking between his three children.  
“You are about to find out, which is why I wanted to bring you three with me to my next talk. Your mother and I think it is about time you knew a little about my past. At first, I will talk about the subject, but towards the end the students will ask me questions about my use of spells against the Dark arts. When that happens, I want you to ask me as many questions as you wish, okay?”  
“Okay!” James was so excited; he could sense that this was going to be one of the best things that will ever happen to him at Hogwarts.  
Albus and Lily nodded in response to Harry’s request as Harry led them towards the dungeon door. Harry knocked and, holding Lily’s hand, the four of them walked into the dungeon.

 

*****

Minerva watched with a thin smile as Harry allowed his children to walk in front of him into the classroom. The headmistress noticed that although James looked excited, Albus and Lily were nervous as they walked into the dark dungeon surrounded by fifth year students. Harry was still holding onto Lily’s hand as he turned to close the door. After turning back around and ushering his children to some vacant seats, he remembered to introduce himself to Professor Derwent.   
“I’m sorry Professor, it’s nice to meet-” But when Harry saw Snape sitting at the teacher’s desk, Harry dropped Lily’s hand and his jaw fell open dramatically, though it was no exaggeration to how he was feeling.  
Severus, on the other hand, had already recognised the man the moment he walked through the door and he watched Harry escort his family into the classroom, absolutely livid. When Minerva entered the dungeon stating that the ‘guest’ was outside and won’t be a moment, the last person he was expecting to enter his classroom was Harry Potter.  
It seemed that Harry was lost for words and Minerva delighted herself in watching the two men struggle with what to say or do. After a good thirty seconds, however, Lily broke the silence.  
“Are you okay, Daddy?” she asked, genuinely concerned that her father was being so quiet.  
“Yeah, I’m fine Lily, it’s just-” Harry was still staring, completely lost for words. Obviously he couldn’t explain to his children how he knew Snape and why it was such a shock to him that the man was still alive. Also, Al still didn’t know who Severus was and he didn’t think that now was the right moment to tell him because none of his children even knew about Voldemort yet.  
“Do you know Professor Snape, Dad?” James asked curiously.  
Harry didn’t answer his son and continued to stare at Snape, who was also staring back.  
Minerva decided that her enjoyment was soon ending as the fifth years were becoming restless.  
“Are you ready to begin Mr Potter?”   
Harry snapped out of his reverie and tore his eyes away from Snape to look at Minerva.  
“Did you know this would happen?” Harry asked quietly. “Did you plan this?”  
“I told you several times, Minerva that I did not want to see Potter-” Snape interjected under his breath before Minerva could answer.  
“And why wouldn’t you want to see me?” Harry asked slightly hurt.  
“Excuse me, gentlemen, but I believe we have some students who are waiting for Mr Potter to begin his talk,” Minerva stated, not wanting a full blown argument to occur in front of the students. “If you wish, we can talk about this after Mr Potter has finished.”  
“But, Professor McGonagall, you don’t need me to do this talk, Professor Snape is more than capable-”  
“But we want to hear what you have to say Mr Potter,” said a fifth year in the front row somewhat nervously.   
Harry looked between Snape and Minerva, not quite knowing if he could attempt his talk with Snape in the room, for he knew Snape would be much more knowledgeable about the dark arts and how to protect oneself against them.  
“For goodness sake, Potter, get on with it; we haven’t got all day,” Snape snapped and Harry noticed that Snape seemed rather afraid of the current situation. This startled Harry and again he resumed staring at Snape trying to detect some form of emotion or fear within the man.  
“Come on, Potter! The students are waiting!” Snape sneered, for he knew it would probably be the last time he’d get the chance to make light of the situation once Harry got over the initial shock and began to yell at him.  
Harry nodded and turned away from Snape to face the class before him.  
“Sorry about the delay, I just wasn’t expecting… anyway, I have brought three other guests with me today because I want them to hear what I have to say. These are my three children” Harry said indicating his each child in turn, “my oldest, James is in his second year at Hogwarts…” Minerva noticed Snape snort at this fact, though thankfully Harry didn’t hear him. “My other son, Albus is in his first year, so this will be his first lesson at Hogwarts.”  
Snape was no longer smiling as he continued to stare at Albus who definitely looked exactly how Harry did when he was in first year. There was no discrepancy between the two; he couldn’t believe the resemblance between them.  
“And finally,” Harry continued, “this is my daughter who won’t be attending Hogwarts for another two years. Her name is Lily,” Harry informed the class and turned quickly to look at Snape who had an impassive look about him.  
“Now this may sound strange to some of you, but my children do not know why I am famous-”  
“You’re famous, Dad?” James asked, wide eyed.  
“As you can see, I am not lying to you,” Harry asserted, smiling.  
“How can they not know what you did, Mr Potter? Why did you hide it from them?” asked a girl in the back row.  
“My wife and I agreed that it would be better to wait until they were a bit older before we told them, because as many of you probably know, it wasn’t a very pleasant experience.” Harry turned again to look at Snape; still feeling like Severus should be the one up there talking, not him.  
“But before I get into that, I promised Professor McGonagall that I would tell you a bit about Defense against the Dark Arts. So, when I was at Hogwarts, my favourite subject was Defense against the Dark Arts, probably because I received good marks in it.”  
“Did you even beat Aunt Hermione, Dad?” James asked.  
Harry laughed, “Yes believe it or not, I did, James. Anyway, it is an extremely useful subject and also very interesting. As you know I have used the skills learnt in Defense on several occasions both as an Auror and a student. I believe that if you continue this subject into sixth and seventh year, you get to produce a Patronus, is that right?” Harry asked looking at Snape, who nodded his head. “Does everyone know what a Patronus is?” Harry glanced at the room at large and didn’t see anyone shake their heads.  
“Okay, good, well if you continue this subject, which I highly recommend, you’ll get the opportunity to learn the Patronus charm which is especially useful against Dementors.”  
“Mr Potter, can you please show us your Patronus?”  
“Sure,” Harry replied. “Expecto Patronum!” Harry yelled as his stag leapt out of his wand and galloped around the room. Eventually it stopped in front of the class, where some of the girls reached out to pat it.  
“He’s amazing, Mr Potter,” one of the girls said.  
“Thank you, Miss…”  
“Wood,” the girl replied. “My father knows you; he said he played Quidditch with you when you were at Hogwarts together.” Harry smiled at the memory.  
“Yes, I remember your father well, please send him my regards,” Harry said.  
“Okay,” Miss Wood replied.   
“Also,” Harry continued, “I suggest you stay onto NEWT level Defense because that’s when you’ll learn to cast non-verbal spells,” again Harry cast a look towards Snape, who appeared to be daring Harry to ascertain that he was terrible at non-verbal spells. Harry decided to grant Snape this wish.  
“And as Professor Snape would tell you, I was terrible at non-verbal spells, but now I am somewhat proficient at it and find it to be extremely useful. That way, if you are ever required to duel, you will have a slight advantage over your opponent because they won’t know what curse you will use and consequently won’t have a suitable counter curse ready. And finally, if a Dark Wizard were to ever rise to power, Defense will be the best, most effective subject for you to learn because it pays to know what you’re up against and how to protect yourself.”  
“Daddy, does that mean that you lived during a time when the Dark Arts were powerful?” Lily asked quietly.  
Most of the students in the room looked at her in shock as if they could hardly believe how little Harry Potter’s children knew. Even Snape was staring at her. Professor McGonagall was happily sitting in the corner, watching the scene occur before her.  
“Yes, Lily I was.”  
“Were you alive when that boy defeated Voldemort? Voldemort was a Dark Wizard, wasn’t he?” Albus asked.  
Harry looked up at Snape, whose eyes were so wide Harry thought they might have popped out of the man’s head.  
“Yes, I was alive. Um, okay,” Harry walked towards his children knelt down in front of them. “I wish your mother was here, but seeing as she’s not, here it goes. James, Al, Lily, I was the boy who defeated Voldemort.”   
Now it was his children’s turn to look like fish as they stared at their father with their mouths hanging open.  
“So you- you killed Lord Voldemort; the Dark wizard that some people still fear to speak of? You’re the ‘Boy who lived’?” James asked completely flabbergasted.  
“Yes, James. That is why people on the Hogwarts express were staring at me and why I was invited by Professor McGonagall to give these talks.”  
“So everyone in here knows who you are and what you have done?” Albus asked a little disappointed that he and his siblings had no idea. Harry noticed the sadness in his son’s eyes and it pained him to see it.  
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, and I’m sure you have so many questions to ask, but the story is so complicated it would take all day to tell you about it. Also I would want your mother, Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron with me because they were all a part of it too.”  
“Mum helped you too?”  
“Yes, she did, she was an excellent fighter. And as for your Aunt and Uncle, they were with me from the start and together we defeated Voldemort.”  
“But you were the one to actually defeat him, because I was told it was a one on one duel between yourself and Voldemort,” another girl stated.  
“And you are correct in saying that, but I would be extremely selfish and incorrect to say that I did it all alone. Although I ‘killed’ Voldemort, I could not have done it without my friends, the Order of the Phoenix and the students who went to Hogwarts at the time. And I’m not just saying that to be modest, it is the absolute truth and you can ask Professor McGonagall or Professor Snape to give you evidence of that as they both helped me as well.” Harry said looking between the two professors in the room.  
“So, how did you do it?” Miss Wood asked.  
“This may sound boring for those who were imagining some great magic on my behalf, but basically, Voldemort made a mistake and in the end it cost him his life.”  
“What do you mean, Dad?” Albus asked, looking slightly confused.  
Realizing that the students in his midst would want more information, Harry smiled and continued explaining the situation in more detail.   
“Have any of you heard of the Deathly Hallows?”   
It seemed that every student in the room, including his own children for Ginny and Harry told the tale to them several times, knew about the Peverell Brothers. “Well whether you choose to believe it or not, they are in fact real artifacts.”  
“I do not think it is a good idea to tell them that, Mr Potter,” Minerva intervened.  
“Don’t worry, Professor McGonagall, they will never get their hands on them, because they were destroyed when I discovered them; we thought it was for the best.” Both Snape and Minerva had puzzled expressions on their faces, but neither of them said anything to contradict Harry’s assertion. “Anyway, the night that Voldemort and I dueled, he had possession of the Elder Wand, but for those who don’t know, this wand has a very strong allegiance to its master, not necessarily the one who is holding it. Although I will not go into specifics, what happened was Voldemort found the wand, but was not the master of it because someone else had previously owned the wand and they were the master of it. So when you find the Elder Wand, if it isn’t any different than your usual wand when you use it, that means you are not the master of it, which means that you must defeat the person who is the master of the wand and when you do, then you will be the master of the Elder Wand. So in this case, Voldemort knew he was not the Master of the Elder Wand and was consequently trying to find who was. I knew I was the master of the Elder Wand, but Voldemort didn’t know this. He also didn’t know that if you use the Elder Wand to duel against its master, it will in fact reverse your spell upon yourself. So when Voldemort and I dueled, he used the Avada Kedavra curse.” Lily gasped, placing her hands to her mouth. “When our spells met in the air, Voldemort’s spell rebounded and hit him and consequently he was killed by his own spell.”  
“What spell did you use against Voldemort, Mr Potter?” the boy in the front row asked.  
“I was hoping someone would ask me that. Some of the members of the Order of the Phoenix thought that it was my signature spell because I used it very often in duels against Voldemort. The spell I used was ‘Expelliarmus’.”  
“But, Dad, isn’t that a disarming spell?” James asked, smiling a little.  
“Yes, James, very good; it is the disarming spell, but it is extremely useful in duels and one that I was particularly good at,” Harry smiled as he told his son.  
“What other spells did you find useful, Mr Potter?” Miss Wood asked with interest.  
“Good question! Well the stunning spell ‘stupefy’ was also one I used a lot as well as ‘Petrificus totalus’ which petrifies the person you’re aiming at. “Impedimenta’ is also useful especially when you have Death Eaters chasing you, because that spell slows them down. Each of them are very useful and ones that I am sure you already know or if not I’m sure you will learn them soon.  
“My mother told me that you escaped Voldemort five times, not including when you were a baby. Is that true?” A beautiful Asian girl asked in the front row. She was one of the girls who patted Harry’s Patronus.  
“Who was your mother, Miss…”  
“Heng, my mother’s name is Cho Heng, but her maiden name was Cho Chang.”   
“I knew your mother when I was at Hogwarts,” Harry said, blushing slightly.  
“I know, she told me you both dated at one point,” Miss Heng asserted, making Harry fidget. Harry looked towards Snape to see that he was sneering, no doubt enjoying Harry being embarrassed in front of the students and his children.  
“Yes, well in answer to your question, your mother was right. The first time I met a form of Voldemort was in my first year at Hogwarts-”  
“You were only my age when you first escaped Voldemort, Dad?” Albus asked extremely impressed.  
“Yes, Al, but again I had help and goodness knows that story will take far too long to tell. But then the following year I encountered Voldemort again in another form and managed to survive everything he threw at me. Then in my fourth year, Voldemort returned to his body and was powerful once again. I only just managed to escape that one by lucky chance. And then in my fifth year, I encountered him again and again managed to escape, though I also had help with that too. And then in my final year, the year that I defeated Voldemort, I encountered him and he actually hit me with Avada Kedavra, but again I survived. Although I would love to elaborate further, I am afraid it would take far too long to explain, but maybe my children will hear about it one day, and if they do, please don’t pester them too much.” Harry said smiling.  
“That’s amazing, Mr Potter,” Miss Heng said in awe, the rest of her classmates seemed to be speechless.  
“Remember I always had help,” Harry emphasised again, because he realised that all he was saying sounded really impressive, but as Harry had always asserted, it sounds more impressive than it really was.  
The students however were flabbergasted and none of them spoke as they processed just how many times Harry Potter had escaped the darkest, most powerful wizard of all time.  
“Will you tell us the story in more detail, Dad?” James asked hopefully. He was as shocked as anyone in the room.  
“Yes, but I would want your mother, Aunt and Uncle with me because I would probably lose my voice if I had to explain it all to you and besides, some of the matters concerned them more than myself.”  
“Oh, I can’t wait Daddy!” Lily exclaimed.  
Harry looked around at the rest of the class and noticed some of them looked pretty jealous that they weren’t getting the same treatment. But Harry consoled himself that his children, after keeping his past a secret for so long, deserved more information than what he was giving to the other students.  
“Are there any more questions?” Harry asked.  
“Yes, may I ask, have you ever used one or more of the unforgivable curses?” Harry made an effort to look at the boy who asked this question; he was extremely handsome with dark hair and shockingly blue eyes. He seemed genuinely interested to know if Harry had used such a curse and Harry sorely regretted at that moment that the answer to the boy’s question would be ‘yes’. Harry looked at his children, who were staring avidly at him, but as time went on he saw their facial expressions change into shock as they realised their father must have used an unforgivable curse.  
“Unfortunately I have used two of the unforgivable curses, Imperio and Crucio.” Harry heard his daughter gasp, but was distracted by Snape who seemed even more shocked by his answer. Snape was horrified that the ‘Chosen One’, that Lily’s son had used such curses because although the past was terrible, brutal and dangerous, he just couldn’t see why Harry would need to use such spells. Thankfully, Snape’s questions were answered when the handsome boy continued:   
“Could you tell us why you used those spells, Mr Potter?”  
“I can, but because we are running out of time, I will make it short. I used Imperio, which for those of you who do not know, the Imperius curse allows the caster to control the actions of another person. The use of any of the unforgiveable curses has always been illegal and punishable by the ministry except for the year 1997 when Voldemort and his Death Eaters had taken it over. It was during this time that I used these unforgiveable curses because in any other year I would have been sent to Azkaban. Anyway, I was attempting to break in somewhere- I assure you that the reason behind it was extremely important for the defeat of Voldemort- and I used Imperio on one of the guards so that I could get past. I forced him to stand aside and then did a memory charm on him to forget he ever saw me. With regard to the Cruciatus curse, I actually used it within this castle. The curse allows you to torture someone and cause them tremendous pain. I used this curse against one of the Death Eaters that was working at Hogwarts when Voldemort took over the school in 1997. This particular Death Eater insulted Professor McGonagall in fact and I happened to overhear and was outraged by what she said, so I used Crucio against her. Professor McGonagall was horrified that I used such a spell, but I thought it was necessary. If it were not for these circumstances, I would not have been inclined to use them.” Harry looked meaningfully at his children, hoping that they would understand that he was being genuine in his assertions.  
“So you’ve never used Avada Kedavra?” the handsome boy asked.  
“No, I haven’t and as I have learnt and something all of you should know, in order to perform an unforgivable curse you really have to mean it. I have never really wanted to kill anyone, except Voldemort but obviously when you duel a wizard like Voldemort it is very hard to hit him with an Avada Kedavra curse.”  
“Does that mean you really wanted to cause that Death Eater pain when you used the Cruciatus curse against her?” James asked.  
“Yes, James, but please try to understand that those days were extremely dangerous, if I didn’t attack her she would have tried to kill me,” Harry reasoned with his son in a pleading tone.  
“It’s okay, Dad, we understand,” Albus said, sensing his father’s distress.  
Harry smiled, relieved that his children didn’t think him to be a terrible person.  
“The class is nearly over, so is there anyone who would like to ask Mr Potter one more question?” Minerva asked.  
“Yes,” a boy sitting in the far back corner replied with his hand up. As the boy leaned forward and out of the shadows, Harry recognised him immediately. Although he rarely had contact with the man except in Quidditch, Harry knew that that boy had to be Marcus Flint’s son.  
“What’s your question, Mister…”  
“Flint,” the boy replied. “I want to know if you have ever used Dark magic.” Harry wasn’t expecting such a question, but figured that the question coming from a Slytherin would be more sinister than some of the other questions being asked. Of course Harry would never forget the one time he used ‘Sectumsempra’ against Draco. He never reflected on that memory with liking, and consequently considered lying to the class. But with Snape and Minerva in the room with him, knowing too well that both of them would know the answer to the question he thought it better to tell the truth than lie.  
“I regret to say that I have used dark magic- once,” Harry asserted in a hurry as his daughter appeared horrified at the idea. “But it was an accident and a foolish mistake on my behalf. I saw the spell written down somewhere and I didn’t know what it did. But I used it against someone nonetheless and have regretted it ever since. The spell caused a great amount of damage and it was extremely dangerous. I was horrified by what I had done. I learnt a vital lesson that day: never use a spell unless you know what it does. So I hope that is a little bit of advice you may remember in the future because it took me a long time to forgive myself for what I did; dark magic can be highly dangerous and irreversible which is why it is so important to learn Defense because without it, it will be very hard to defend yourself against such spells.” Harry looked at Snape but couldn’t read his expression. Snape remembered the incident very well and was grateful that Harry didn’t elaborate on where he found the spell. Although he knew Harry was not so foolish as to tell the class that Snape was the inventor of Sectumsempra and a lover of the Dart Arts, he was nevertheless grateful for the omission.  
“Thank you very much, Mr Potter,” Professor McGonagall said as she stood up and walked over to Harry. “I hope you all enjoyed the talk and I’m sure you’ll all have much to talk about as you head off to your next class.”  
“Thanks everyone for listening, I hope you decide to continue with your NEWT Defense against the Dark Arts lessons!” Harry called after the retreating heads of students. Harry heard a mixture of comments, whether positive or negative he didn’t know. But Harry wasn’t even concerned about his talk any longer; now that it was over and only he, Snape, Minerva and his children remained, he remembered the conversation he and Snape were going to have.  
“Professor McGonagall, is there somewhere my children can go for a few minutes while we talk?” Harry asked the headmistress.  
“Yes, if they want, James can take them around the castle for a few minutes. I can summon a house elf to go with them if you wish.”  
“Yes, I think that would be ideal, thanks Professor.”  
“Not a problem, Mr Potter. Kreacher!” Minerva called. Almost instantly, the old, however happy house elf was at Minerva’s feet.  
“Kreacher!” Harry exclaimed. “How are you?”  
“Master Harry, Kreacher is both happy and well,” the house elf stated joyfully. Turning to Minerva he asked, “What may I do for you, Headmistress?”  
“Master Harry has his three children with him and we need you to keep an eye on them while the three of us,” indicating to Snape, Harry and herself, “talk for a moment. Is that okay with you?”   
Kreacher bowed and answered, “Kreacher is happy to be of service and help Master Harry for he gave Kreacher Master Regulus’ locket and he will never forget it.” It was only then that Harry recognised the locket that hung around the elf’s neck and was glad Kreacher still treasured it.  
“Thank you, Kreacher. We shouldn’t be long.” Turning to his children Harry asked them “Are you three hungry?” His children nodded, although they were little taken aback by Kreacher’s appearance, they were very excited about exploring Hogwarts.  
“Perhaps you can take James, Albus and Lily down to the kitchens, Kreacher. Do you think you could get them something to eat?” Harry asked the elf kindly.   
“Of course, Master Harry. I will take good care of them. Call me when you are ready Headmistress,” Kreacher added looking at Minerva.  
“Thank you Kreacher, we won’t be long.” Kreacher bowed as he escorted James, Albus and Lily out of the room.  
“Do you want to explain yourself, Minerva?” Snape asked in an icy cold whisper. Harry was shocked to hear the anger in the man’s voice and wondered why he was so mad. Harry, after all, wasn’t angry with Minerva but rather disappointed that she hadn’t told him sooner that Snape was still alive.  
“There is nothing to explain Severus. The simple fact of the matter is that I needed a Defense against the Dark Arts professor, and the students requested Harry give another speech. I had no intention of bringing you two together originally, but once the appointments were made, there was nothing I could do; this occurrence is purely coincidental. However, I cannot deny that I enjoyed the situation immensely.”  
“I don’t exist for your entertainment, Minerva! You knew very well that I did not wish to see Potter, and yet you pride yourself on your successful plan? You made me look like a fool in front of the students!”  
“Well at least you weren’t standing there with your mouth hanging open-” Harry interjected, realizing just how stupid he must have looked.  
“That’s because I am in control of my emotions-” Snape replied harshly.  
“Yeah, except for when you’d make a snide remark about my father or yell at Professor McGonagall like you were not long ago, because personally I think that shows a great deal of emotion-“ Harry replied sarcastically, a little hurt that Snape was still being so harsh towards him after all this time.  
“At least I don’t display my every thought and feeling for everyone to see-”  
“And why not? There’s nothing to be ashamed of- well maybe you think there is but-“  
“SHUT UP!” Snape yelled and Harry remained deadly silent. Neither of the two men had realised that Minerva had already left the dungeon.  
“What is your problem?’ Harry asked Snape somewhat aggressively. Having imagined what it would be like to see Snape again, Harry never envisaged them arguing.  
“I don’t have a problem, except for the way you were just speaking to me!”  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Harry admitted, ashamed because he really didn’t mean to suggest that Snape should be ashamed of loving Lily; in actual fact he respected Snape greatly for it.  
“You’re not sorry, Potter. I know that you have been dying to say that to me for nineteen years. Anything else you want to say before I kick you out of my classroom?” Snape spat in Harry’s face.  
Harry was taken aback; he had no idea what Snape was implying.  
“I have no idea what you-”  
“Precious Potter can say what he likes and then expects people to forgive and forget?” Snape asked in a mocking tone, remembering too clearly the article he read nineteen years ago.  
“What? What did I say?” Harry asked extremely confused.  
Snape paused to use Legilimency against Harry. Snape couldn’t find any indication that Harry remembered the interview he gave and became so frustrated with the boy that he yelled “GET OUT!”   
Harry jumped.  
“Why? Snape, I don’t understand-”  
“If you are incapable of remembering, I am not going to waste my time reminding you! Now get out so I can arrange my next lesson!”  
“No,” Harry said with confidence. “I am not a child anymore and I want to know what is bothering you. If I have done something to offend you, I want to know about it.”  
Snape paused and Harry was surprised that the man was actually considering it; he was expecting their argument to last for ages.   
Harry was disturbed by Snape’s hatred and anger towards him, especially considering they left on civil terms nineteen years ago.   
“You really want to know what is bothering me?” Snape asked with an icy edge in his voice, the fury and frustration evident in his tone. Before Harry could answer however, Snape yelled “Accio article” and after ten seconds or so, a newspaper clipping flew into the room from Snape’s quarters. Snape grabbed it and shoved it in Harry’s face and stormed out of the room, his black cloak flying aggressively behind him.  
“Professor Snape!” Harry called after the man, but knew already his efforts were fruitless.  
Looking at the article, Harry recognised it immediately as the one Rita published nineteen years ago and couldn’t believe that Snape was careless enough to believe it. Harry knew that Snape must not have seen that Rita wrote the article because everyone, even Snape, would know that Rita’s articles are rarely truthful. But as Harry looked closer, he noticed that Snape must have cut very tightly around the article because Rita’s name was not at the top and the heading was also missing. Nevertheless, Harry was shocked and a little disappointed that Snape thought he would say something like that after everything Snape had done for him, the Order and Dumbledore. However, what disturbed Harry the most was that Snape still had the article after so many years and Harry knew, without a doubt in his mind, that this article greatly affected Snape, whether or not the man was willing to admit it. Harry desired more than ever to confront Snape and to talk to him about it. However, Harry suspected the man would be going to great lengths to avoid Harry until he left Hogwarts later that afternoon. For the first time since the article was published, Harry genuinely regretted ever giving Rita the opportunity to interview him; he really didn’t want Snape to think he didn’t value him after everything he had done and hoped that one day Snape would forgive him for ever giving such an interview.  
Disappointed that their conversation didn’t go as well as he thought it would, Harry left the dungeons, taking the article with him.


	9. Acceptance is the first step to... recovery

“Daddy, please tell me more about your duels with Voldemort, please!” Lily begged her father the moment they walked through the door of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.  
“Not now, Lily, we need to wait until Christmas so that your brothers can hear it too,” Harry replied smiling and somewhat relieved that his daughter didn’t seem to mind that he and his wife hid the information from her for so long.  
“Ohhh, do we have to?” Lily asked, staring at her father with pleading eyes.  
“Yes, I’m sorry Lily.”  
“Okay, Dad.”  
“What’s going on down here?” Ginny asked walking down the stairs and into the living room where her husband and daughter congregated.  
“I was asking Daddy to tell me about Voldemort and how he defied him five times. Did you know he did that Mummy?”  
Ginny laughed. “Yes I did, sweetie. Well you better go for a shower; it’s been a long day.”  
“Okay. Bye Daddy!”  
“Bye Lily,” Harry replied still smiling after his daughter.  
“Dad?” Lily asked halfway up the stairs. “What were you, Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape talking about after we left?”  
“What?!” Ginny replied, looking between her husband and daughter as if she misheard Lily.  
“We’ll talk about it later, Lily. Go and have a shower, okay?” Harry requested of his daughter. Lily smiled in response and ascended up the stairs.  
Ginny was still staring at her husband completely lost for words. Eventually she found her voice once the pair of them sat down in the kitchen.  
“What exactly happened at Hogwarts, Harry? What did I miss? Is Snape alive?”   
“Well I don’t even know the whole story, but one thing is for certain, Snape is alive; the rumours from nineteen years ago were true.”  
“But why didn’t anyone know?” Ginny asked, completely shocked by the unexpected news.  
“I don’t know; we didn’t get to talk about it.”  
“So what did you talk about then? You must have said something to each other.”  
“Um, well at first he was really angry at McGonagall for inviting me without telling him because apparently he never wanted to see me again-”  
“But didn’t you and he part on rather friendly terms? What did he have against you?”  
“Well, you’re not going to believe this, but-” and Harry withdrew the article from his pocket and placed it in front of his wife. “Snape still had this article after nineteen years. See how he cut off the writer’s name? It seems like he didn’t know the article was written by Rita; he believed every bit of it!” Harry stated, still amazed that Snape actually believed he would even say those things after everything Snape has done.  
“But he should have known you aren’t that sort of person,” Ginny said, trying to make some sense of the situation.  
“I know, but you should have seen the look on his face, Ginny. He was so angry,” Harry said remembering clearly the look Snape gave him.   
“So what happened when he gave you the article?” Ginny asked.  
“He stormed out of the dungeon.”  
“Did you go after him?”   
“I tried to find him when I realised which article it was. But obviously he made himself scarce. I didn’t find him and had to leave with Lily to get back here in time for dinner.”  
“My goodness… I can’t believe he is alive. Why do you think he stayed away for so long? He couldn’t have entered the wizarding world that often because no one has seen him for nineteen years.”  
“I know, but I hope he didn’t stay away because he thought I would yell at him or something…” Harry said as he began to worry; he really hoped he wasn’t the cause for Snape’s segregation from the wizarding world. Although Snape may not know it, Harry really wanted to talk to him and Harry didn’t know what he would do if the only reason he hadn’t had that opportunity before now was because of his own actions.  
“Surely he would not fear you getting mad at him?” Ginny tried to reason with her husband, but even she knew that perhaps the man didn’t want to deal with Harry’s anger and the entire wizarding world believing he was a fraud.  
“I hope not- I really hope there’s another reason why he’s segregated himself for so long.” But even as Harry said it, he couldn’t really see another reason why Snape would hide from the wizarding world. If he believed that Harry would stand up for him, then he would have no need to fear the ministry. But if he did fear the ministry’s retribution, then that means he didn’t trust Harry to stand by him…  
“I still really want to talk to him, Ginny. I wish there was some way of convincing him that I respect him for who he is and what he has done,” Harry confided in his wife.  
“I know, but perhaps he just needs some time. I’m sure he’ll come through soon. Perhaps McGonagall or another member of staff will inform him of the nice things you have said about him.”  
“I hope so,” Harry replied.

*****

There was nothing that Snape would rather do than teach first years- not. But unfortunately, the first lesson Snape had the following day was just that and he was not looking forward to it, for Albus Potter would be a student in that class. Hoping against all hope that Albus would not mention anything about the previous day, Snape gritted his teeth as he ordered the students inside and began to mark the roll. Snape was glad to hear nothing but silence in his classroom while he called out the names; it was nice to know that he still held some respect in the wizarding world. However, Snape did remind himself that that was because the students in front of him knew no better than to treat him like any other strict professor.   
Snape recognised Scorpius sitting among the students and when he called out his name, Scorpius answered valiantly, giving Snape a wave. Snape simply nodded his head and continued, feeling a little strange; Scorpius’ greeting was very similar to the way Draco used to assert that he knew Snape- it unnerved Snape slightly to be teaching the next generation of students.   
When Snape reached Albus’ name in the roll, he paused momentarily as he noticed Albus had a middle name beginning with the letter ‘S’. He assumed that the name was probably Sirius, named after Harry’s good for nothing Godfather and decided to ask the child after class, hoping to find another thing he could use against Potter as he happily tormented the man in his mind. When he called out Rose Weasley’s name, he took one look at her sitting next to her cousin and knew she would be just like her mother- a know it all. But Snape was not going to hold that against the child; it paid to be intelligent.  
The class was uneventful; there were no incidents or accidents and Snape actually had some hope that this group of first years may actually be rather gifted in his subject. When the bell rang and the students filed out, Snape called for Albus to stay behind. The boy looked terrified as he hoped that Snape would not bring up anything about the day before either; while he was curious about what had happened between his teacher and father, he didn’t like the way Snape was looking at him and wished he could join his classmates rather than being stuck in the dungeon.  
“Mr Potter, when I was marking the roll at the start of class, I noticed that your middle name starts with ‘S’. May I ask what your full name is?” Snape requested of the boy, saying it in the nicest way possible whilst still maintaining a commanding tone.  
“You aren’t going to use my name against my dad, are you?” Albus asked a little afraid, not quite believing that he was not answering the question his professor asked of him.  
Snape frowned slightly; surprised that the child really believed Snape could use his name against Harry.  
“Why do you say that, Mr Potter?”  
“You just don’t seem to like my dad much, that’s all,” Albus asked, dying to get out of the dungeons; he didn’t want to get into trouble on his second day; he didn’t want his dad to have to come back to Hogwarts to see Snape again.  
Snape didn’t answer the boy’s assertion because the fact of the matter was, he didn’t like Harry in the slightest and thought him an ungrateful man who called him a liar, a fraud and inhuman without any morals. But he didn’t want to say this to Albus because although he would love to hurt Harry in as many ways as possible, it was clear that Harry was a good father (even though he only just told his children about his past) and didn’t think it was his place to ruin Albus’ opinion of Harry.  
“So what is your full name, Mr Potter?” Snape pressed on, wanting an answer so that he could eat some lunch and prepare for his next class.  
“Albus Severus Potter,” Albus answered quietly.  
Snape froze to the spot, hardly believing what he had just heard.   
After what felt like hours, Albus asked his professor if he could leave, because for some reason his teacher seemed incapable of speech and was simply staring into space.  
Snape heard the boy’s question and answered: “Has your father told you who ‘Albus’ and ‘Severus’ are?” Snape asked, hoping to god that the child didn’t know.  
“No, my father told me on Platform 9 ¾ at the beginning of this year that I was named after two headmasters of Hogwarts,” Albus stated looking at the ground, knowing that he really should ask his father for more detail about the two men.  
“Is that all?” Snape asked, relieved.  
“No, he also said that one of them- I don’t know if it is Albus or Severus- was in Slytherin and that he was probably the bravest man my dad ever knew. My dad told me this because I was scared of being in Slytherin,” Albus mumbled.  
But Albus was surprised that Snape didn’t seem to have even heard him. Again, Albus waited quietly in the hope he would be dismissed. In an attempt to get Snape to talk, because the silence was scaring him a little, Albus asked:  
“Did you know Albus or Severus, Professor Snape?”  
Snape, who had been looking at the ground, stared at Albus and replied: “We’ve met.” Snape saw Albus’ face light up.  
“Do you think you can tell me a little about them? I would ask my dad, but he is determined to wait until he has the time to tell me and my brother and sister about it, but I can’t wait that long,” Albus explained rather quickly, surprised that he said so much in such a situation. Al’s fear was extinguished; that’s what happens when Albus is excited, he talks a lot.  
“I think it would be best if your father told you. You may go.” Snape said, showing Albus towards the door. Somewhat disappointed, Albus ran out of the classroom to join his classmates.  
Snape didn’t know what to do with himself. The news that Harry Potter had named one of his sons after him was completely unexpected. Although Snape hated to admit it to himself, he realised that there would be no way that Harry was both mad with him and named his son after him. Either Albus was lying about his name or the article that Snape read was not entirely true. Snape concluded that perhaps the article was incorrect, but after believing its words for so many years, it wasn’t easy to just accept in the blink of an eye that Harry Potter didn’t think he was a fraud incapable of human emotion.   
Snape couldn’t think of what else to do, so he did the unthinkable- he wrote a letter to Harry Potter.

*****

Harry was sitting at his desk in the ministry looking over a report regarding new procedures on how to train Aurors. At about midday, when Harry was eating lunch, an owl flew over his desk and dropped a letter. Harry was surprised that he had received such a note; normally the inter-department post-it notes would fly in or Ginny’s Patronus may arrive if there were an emergency, but never has he received a letter carried by an owl, he didn’t even know owls were allowed in the ministry. Opening the note which was folded in half, Harry read:  
Meet me in my office at eight o’clock tonight.  
SS  
Harry read the letter twice more before he forced himself to conclude that Snape actually wrote to him and wanted to speak to him. Harry couldn’t help it; he was excited that he would be seeing Snape again.

*****

At 7:45 pm, Snape was pacing in his office. He hadn’t had any dinner; he didn’t feel hungry and ever since his last class finished at 5, he had been pacing around trying to think of what he was going to say to Potter when he arrived. After everything he had done to Harry; ‘killing’ his parents, killing Dumbledore, making his life at Hogwarts hell and always speaking ill of him, Harry was still stupid enough to name his son after him? Snape was convinced Harry had gone completely crazy since the battle; no one in their right mind would name their innocent, baby boy after a death eater and murderer. The idea was completely absurd and Snape knew that the only way he would be able to accept it would be to speak to Harry himself, however much he disliked the idea. After ten minutes, Snape was getting angry. Although this may be a strange emotion to feel at such a moment, Snape couldn’t help it. He was becoming so frustrated by the name Albus Severus that it made him feel inadequate. He never thought someone would be named after him, especially not Harry Potter’s son; this was just too much to handle. Snape was feeling some form of pressure because now that he was alive, he had to live up to the reputation that Al seems to have of him: ‘the bravest man he ever knew’…  
Snape snapped out of his thoughts and into reality when he heard a knock at the door.  
Bracing himself for the conversation that was about to occur, Snape sat at his desk and said: “Enter”. The door opened and Harry walked in cautiously, closing the door behind him.  
The two men just stared at each other, waiting for the other to start.  
“You wanted to see me, Professor Snape?” Harry asked, dying to know why his ex-professor wanted to speak to him.  
Snape nodded. “I spoke to your son, Albus today.”  
“He’s not in trouble already is he?” Harry asked, a little disappointed if this meeting was solely regarding his son.  
“No, he isn’t. I asked him to stay behind after class because I noticed that his name in the roll was written as Albus S. Potter and I was curious to know what his middle name was. I thought it would have been Sirius…” Snape mumbled the last section, still shocked that he was wrong.  
“No, Sirius is James’ middle name. Did my son tell you what his middle name is?” Harry asked, hoping that Albus did and that this is why Snape wrote to him.  
Snape nodded. “He did not wish to tell me because he thought I would get you into trouble.”  
“I wonder why he would have thought that?” Harry wondered out aloud; perhaps Albus could sense the anger that Snape was showing towards Harry the previous day.  
Finally Snape cracked, he tried to take the conversation slowly and eventually progress to his problem, but he couldn’t contain his anger any longer.  
“Why in god’s name would you name your son after me?” Severus asked aggressively.  
Harry was taken aback; Snape’s outrage seemed to come out of no where.  
“Well, both Ginny and I thought it would be suitable-”  
“Suitable to name your son after a Death Eater, a murderer, a slimy git, an angry, vengeful man who is both a fraud and a coward-”  
“Snape!” Harry yelled, astonished that the man was describing himself in such a way.  
“WHAT?!” Snape shouted his eyes wide as he stared at Harry.  
“You were a Death Eater, you murdered out of loyalty, you’re not a git, you were also capable of love as well as anger like every other human being and I don’t believe you to be a fraud or a coward and neither does Ginny,” Harry stated pointedly, looking straight back at Snape.  
“That’s ridiculous. I know Dumbledore always said you were capable of many things, but such forgiveness is surely out of your reach,” Snape whispered, hardly allowing himself to hope that Harry was in fact truthful in his assertions.  
“I saw your memories, Snape. There is no way someone can look at them and think them false or exaggerated. I knew you were showing me the truth and I believed them without question. When I told Voldemort about your memories, even he forced himself to believe that you loved my mother.” Snape cringed at the sound of Harry’s last point. Although Severus did love Lily, he never imagined Harry would be in front of him saying it as if it was a known fact.  
“So, no Snape- Ginny and I are not crazy; we named our son after a man who was very brave and extremely loyal. So what if Severus was also a Death Eater and a murderer? We knew that there is more to a human being than their actions, but their intentions. You redeemed yourself and showed how love can truly make a difference and that is something Ginny and I wanted to honour in naming our second son after you,” Harry finished, surprised that he had managed to say exactly what he was thinking because normally it takes him a while to gather his thoughts. It seems that such perceptions of Snape had been rehearsed so many times over the years that Harry was fluently able to express his thoughts to the man himself.  
Harry watched Snape rest his head in his hands. Harry didn’t know what to do or say; he didn’t know if Snape was still angry or just trying to process the information he had given him. After a couple of minutes, Harry continued in an effort to make some form of conversation.  
“The article you gave me yesterday was completely false.” Snape looked up, but Harry couldn’t read his expression. “You probably didn’t notice, but it was written by Rita Skeeter. I refused to tell her about the memories you gave me, so she tried to get revenge by asking someone else to report what they believed I knew and then manipulated what I said to make me appear like a hypocrite.”  
Harry paused again, waiting for Snape to reply, but none came.   
Eventually it was Harry’s turn to lose control.  
“I can’t believe you thought I would say those things about you! After everything you did? Did you really think I would be so ungrateful? That I wouldn’t believe you? I knew you would never lie about loving my mother unless it was true. No matter how loyal you were to Voldemort, there’s no way you would have shown me your Patronus and the repercussions that arose from calling my mum a ‘Mud’-”  
“SHUT UP!” Snape yelled, speaking for the first time in minutes. Harry was happy because finally the man was speaking to him. “I did not wish to give you my memories, but I promised Dumbledore I would do whatever it took for you to believe and trust me. So that is what I did. Ever since I gave them to you, I have wondered how your impression of me changed, but I never received any sign until this article came out! It was the only thing I knew about your opinion of me so that is what I believed!” Snape said in a deadly whisper.  
“Is that why you have been hiding for the last nineteen years? Because of that article?” Harry asked sincerely, hoping that the answer would be ‘no’.  
Snape paused; he did not want to admit to Potter that it was because of him that Snape refused to re-enter the wizarding world, but at the same time realised that he may as well admit it; Potter would find out one day.  
“The Dark Lord told everyone present that night that I was dead and that is what everyone consequently believed. Originally, I did not wish to enter the wizarding world again because I thought I would be captured and punished for my murder of Dumbledore and apparent loyalty to the Dark Lord. Furthermore, I did not want to attract attention to my still being alive because there is nothing that I hate more than people asking me questions. But once I read the article, I told myself that I would never return because I was convinced you would find me to humiliate yell at me and I…” but Snape couldn’t finish his sentence.   
“And you what?” Harry pressed.  
“It does not matter,” Snape tried to dismiss the feelings that were swirling inside him, but for one of the first times in his life, he was unable to push away his emotions.  
“I didn’t think you would be afraid of confronting me; it has never worried you before. So it must have been something to do with me seeing your memories. Perhaps now that I knew about your relationship with my mother…” Harry trailed off, determined to find an explanation for Snape’s refusal to continue what he was saying.  
Snape knew Harry would never figure out what was bothering him but nevertheless made an effort to deter Potter from the task at hand.  
“I just wanted to know precisely your feelings towards me, and what I did. Now that I know, you can go,” Snape said indicating the door with his head.   
“No,” Harry said simply.  
“How dare you disobey me in my own classroom? Just because you are an adult, does not mean you have the right to stay here. I want you out, so get out!”  
“No, I’m not leaving until we’ve discussed a few more things,” Harry said.  
“Well what does precious Potter want to know?” Snape said with a cutting edge in his voice.  
“Why are you being so rude to me? I have just told you that I respect you for who you are and what you did, I even named my son after you and this is how you act?”  
“I never asked you to name your son after me!” Snape spat.  
“Why are you so mad about it? Is it too much for you to handle? Is the fact that my son believes ‘Severus’ to be a good person disturbing you?”  
“I am not a good person,” Snape said quietly.  
“But you are or you used to be- you must have been otherwise my mother would never have been friends with you. Our pasts make us who we are and your past has been- well- difficult which has influenced how you act. But there is no way that someone can look at what you’ve done and say that you’re a bad person, Snape.”  
“Try explaining that to your son when he finds out he was named after me, I dare you.” Snape mumbled in a dangerous tone.  
“I will explain it, even if it takes me all night, I’ll do whatever it takes to show Albus, James and Lily that you are a good person, despite how you appear.”  
Snape just snorted; he couldn’t think of any other reply.  
“Look, Snape. Whether or not you want to believe it, I think and Ginny thinks that you are worthy of such an honour, even if you consider it to be a punishment, we are so proud to call our son Albus Severus and you should try to accept that fact.”  
“It is not a punishment,” Snape whispered.  
“Then what is it?” Harry asked, trying to sound as kind as possible.  
“It- it- it means that one day your son will find out about me, he will carry my name and know what I have done. When I showed you those memories, I was sure the Dark Lord was going to kill me. I never thought I would live and more than that I never thought you would be stupid enough to name your son after me. So now I am still alive, your son will one day discover that he was named after me, he will be forced to be a part of my pathetic existence, and he’ll be succumbed to who I am and what I have done!”  
“Snape, there’s no need to get angry-”  
“And why shouldn’t I?” It seemed to Harry that Snape has been dying to say this since the beginning of the conversation. “I know that I only added to the misery that was your childhood by making life more difficult than it already was, but it is only recently that I have been ashamed of it. But I consoled myself that no one else will know about it, no one else will care. But guess what?! Your son will care and probably hate me for it, and where would that leave me? I am his teacher for god’s sake!”  
“My son wouldn’t react so harshly to being named after you-”  
“He imagines Severus to be an ‘amazing’ person,” Snape snapped at Harry, “but I am not. You’ve led him to believe something false and that is what makes me angry! I am nothing special-”  
“I would beg to differ, Professor Snape-”  
“Well of course you would, but your son will not. I do not want them to look at me like that, like some weak individual who did everything because he loved someone. It’s pathetic!”  
“No, it isn’t-”  
“Then if it’s not pathetic, what is it?”  
“Really moving-”  
“What?!” Snape spat, “what do you mean by that?”  
“I was happy when I found out- shocked, but happy. It was nice to know that I was wrong about you and that people really are capable of such self-sacrifice.”  
“But, it’s not that-”  
“Amazing? I know. It’s like when I give those talks, all of the students are amazed by what I have done, but I know and you know that it wasn’t just me and my skills. I was determined, I tried really hard, I learnt a lot, I had many people who stood by me, including you, though I didn’t know it at the time. I also had love, and although I was brave; it was my job and I wanted to do it regardless of the costs… just like you did. So you may not think that what you did was that great but that’s because you’re you and you couldn’t have imagined doing anything else but redeem yourself- whatever it takes. But that is something some people find amazing and worth honouring. You may be flawed, but so is every other human, even Dumbledore and yet despite the flaws that all humans are born with, you rose above them and overcame the self-centred nature of the human race in favour of doing what is right, even if it involves self-sacrifice. You cannot sit there and tell me that what you did isn’t special; that what you did isn’t worth honouring; that what you did doesn’t demonstrate great courage, bravery and love. You are more than I ever thought you could be. And for that, I thank you,” Harry asserted staring at Snape.  
“Thank me for what?” Snape asked looking at his hands, in an attempt to avoid Harry’s gaze.  
“For proving me wrong. For showing that it doesn’t pay to judge someone by how they appear, but how they feel and who they truly are,” Harry concluded, feeling that he had said everything that needed to be said. Now all Harry wanted to know was what Snape was going to say previously in the conversation. Harry knew he should just let it go, but for some reason, he felt it was important to Snape and consequently important to him that he know why Snape didn’t want to see him again. Harry thought that if he talked more and emphasised more strongly just how much he respected Snape, that perhaps the man would open up to him. Although Harry was always someone to talk about his feelings, he hardly expected Snape to do the same, but nevertheless hoped that something would initiate Snape’s desire to talk after so many years of being isolated from people to talk to.  
But Snape still wasn’t talking. Harry was beginning to lose hope that Snape would ever open up to him.  
Suddenly, Harry remembered that he still didn’t know how Snape survived. He couldn’t believe he had lasted this long without knowing, but now that he thought about it, he supposed there were more pressing matters to discuss, until now.  
“What happened that night? How did you survive?” Harry asked the man in front of him. Snape lifted his head to look at Harry and spoke in a quiet, however clear voice.  
“The Dark Lord was furious with me for not bringing you to him. He punished me several times. Then Yaxley saw you running into the forest, so the Dark Lord ordered Nagini to kill me and left the Shrieking Shack to go after you. Nagini bit me on the shoulder but before she could bite me again to finish me off, she disappeared; I think the Dark Lord must have summoned her. Before finding you that night, I visited Dumbledore’s portrait and he warned me that the Dark Lord may use Nagini to kill me, so he recommended that I bring blood replenishing potions and anti-venom with me to the shack. I thought it was an absurd idea, but they are what saved me. Eventually I managed to get out of the shack and collapsed on the grass when I saw Hagrid carrying you out of the forest. After a few moments, I came to and saw Lucius and Narcissa walking towards me. After a period, Narcissa managed to convince Lucius to take me to their manor, which Lucius did, even though he feared the Dark Lord would catch him saving me- someone who was meant to have died. Their house elf gave me medicine and after five days, I left the Malfoy Manor, reasonably healthy.”  
“Did they ever ask you why you weren’t able to find me? I saw Draco several times that night; I thought he may have said something.”  
Snape paused. “Yes, Draco did tell Lucius that he saw you and yes, they did ask me why I could not find you; they suspected that I wasn’t entirely loyal to the Dark Lord. Eventually, they got it out of me that I was loyal to Dumbledore and Lucius realised, having gone to Hogwarts with me, that I loved Her.”  
“My mother,” Harry clarified.  
Snape nodded; he couldn’t bear to hear himself say it out loud in the presence of Harry Potter.  
“Lucius was horrified that I would risk so much for Her and yet Narcissa stood up for me and told us that she lied to the Dark Lord about you. She told him you were dead, when in fact she knew you were alive,” Snape looked at Harry as if wanting him to clarify its truth.  
“It’s true; Voldemort ordered Narcissa to check my heart beat. She felt a pulse and knew I was still alive. She whispered in my ear asking if Draco was alive in the castle. I told her that he was so she pretended I was dead, presumably to give her more time to look for Draco and ensure his safety. I told Voldemort that night that other people had betrayed him because of love. I used you as an example, because I thought that would be the most shocking to him, but I also thought about Narcissa, and couldn’t believe how much she cared for Draco. I think Dumbledore was wrong; I may be capable of a great amount of love, but so are you and Narcissa, perhaps more so than I am.”  
“No, that is not true,” Snape said so quietly, Harry was sure he had misheard him.  
“Pardon?”  
“That is not true,” Snape repeated himself a little louder.  
“What makes you say that?” Harry asked, curious.  
“Narcissa and I love only one person, whereas you seem capable of loving your friends, most of your teachers and the wizarding world in general. I may have appeared to have acted for the ‘greater good’ of the wizarding world, but I was only ever thinking of Her. You never only thought about one person, but about everyone and I think that’s why Albus believed you were such an amazing individual,” Snape said, the last two words with an air of bitterness, but Harry could tell Snape was only putting up appearances.  
“I am surprised you have noticed this about me, Snape. Not even I thought of that difference, though as you state, that is probably what Dumbledore was implying. But to me, it doesn’t matter if someone loves one person or every person; it is still the same loyalty, courage and self-sacrifice.”  
Snape merely nodded; he had no idea what else to say.  
“Well, I am glad you lived, Snape.”  
Snape nodded again.  
“So are you going to tell me why you have isolated yourself for so long? Or are you going to force me to talk to you all night until you tell me?” Harry asked with a small smile on his face.  
“It is none of your business,” Snape snapped.  
“But it’s bothering you,” Harry pointed out.  
“It’s stupid,” Snape mumbled.  
“I doubt anything you have ever said has been stupid; you don’t seem the type,” Harry asserted.  
“Do you promise not to laugh or make anything of it? You will keep it strictly to yourself?” Snape asked aggressively, figuring that Harry was never going to give up so he might as well tell him.  
“Yes, I promise. But what makes you think I would laugh?” Harry said kindly.  
“Your father would have,” Snape replied.  
“But I’m not my father. I am an adult now, not a child like my father was when he used to laugh at you. I promise not to laugh,” Harry concluded on a serious note; he wanted Snape to trust him.  
“Do you remember the memory where I waited outside the Gryffindor common room for Her and she came out to tell me off?” Snape said, his head resting in the palms of his hands as he mumbled to his desk.  
“Yes,” Harry said. He remembered very well for he had never imagined his mother could look so angry.  
“The way she looked at me… she was so disappointed, so hurt and so angry with me… I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been, how thoughtless I was to call her such a thing… I knew at that moment that she would never forgive me and that no matter what I did, it wouldn’t make the slightest difference to her. I felt so hopeless…’ Snape trailed off and Harry could tell it wasn’t easy for the man to talk about his feelings like this, but he was dying to know more.  
“But what does this have to do with me?” Harry asked quietly, hoping that Snape wouldn’t be deterred by his prying question.  
“The first thing that attracted me to her was her green almond shaped eyes. Can you imagine how I felt when she-” Snape stopped abruptly, as if trying to master himself. After pausing momentarily, he continued: “Did you see the way she was looking at me? I had never seen someone’s eyes portray so much emotion and yet I had no doubt what she was feeling just by looking in her eyes. It pained me to see her normally beautiful and-“ Snape paused again, “kind eyes so angry with me. I never wanted that to happen; I just wanted her to love-” but this time Snape couldn’t go on, he couldn’t complete his sentence. But Harry knew what he was going to say, and it pained Harry deeply because he could see just how much Snape loved Lily.  
“I’m so sorry…” Harry whispered into the silence.  
Snape looked up from his hands, and Harry saw his eyes glistening with tears, though none had fallen.  
“There’s no need for you to apologise, Potter,” Snape stated somewhat angrily. “It is not your fault that I haven’t gotten over this-”  
“But no one expects you to forget about her.”  
“But people expect that after 35 years, I would have at least moved on.”  
“You’ve moved on, haven’t you?”  
“Does it sound like I have, Potter?”  
“Well, you’re just reminiscing, right?”  
“You still haven’t figured out why I never wanted to see you again, other than the fact that I thought you were ungrateful and more than willing to humiliate me?”  
“No… not really,” Harry said, though it was partially a lie; he did know where Snape was going, but wanted the man to say it himself.  
“After reading that article, I was sure that amongst your anger would be the same disappointment and hatred that she felt towards me that night and I didn’t want to see her eyes looking at me like that ever again… I was certain that you would never forgive me, but most of all, I feared that same feeling of hopelessness, like there was nothing I could ever do to make up for what I had done. When I read that article I felt that if everything I had done wasn’t good enough for you then it would never be good enough for Lily. Your eyes would have reflected no mercy. And I- I couldn’t go through that again- I would have done anything to avoid seeing her eyes portray an emotion that was beyond forgiveness…”  
“Snape,” Harry said, trying to get the man’s attention because although Snape was looking up, he wasn’t looking at Harry. “Just so you know, I forgive you for everything you have done.”   
Harry was startled when Snape looked directly at him and a tear slid down his face.  
“And,” Harry continued, hoping that Snape would finally be able to forgive himself for what he had said and done to Lily. “Remember that my mother was only fifteen when she refused to forgive you. I remember what I was like at that age- you would have hurt her pride and her opinion of herself. But with time, she would have seen how sorry you were and I am sure she would have forgiven you. But if I am wrong in that assertion, then I KNOW she has now forgiven you now because of everything you have done for me, Dumbledore and the wizarding world- all because of your love for her. I never really knew my mother, Snape, but from the sound of things, no matter how angry or disappointed she was in you, there is no way she wouldn’t forgive you after you risked everything for her.” Harry stopped as he watched another tear slide down Snape’s pale face. When Harry saw that Snape was still going to maintain his composure, Harry continued.  
“It’s obvious that you haven’t fully forgiven yourself for what you said to my mother; those words meant the loss of her friendship. I know that if you could go back in time, you wouldn’t have said that to her, but probably profess your love for her instead,” Harry smiled at the idea.  
“Anyway, you should forgive yourself, or at least try to, so that you won’t have so much of a burden weighing you down.” Snape looked directly at Harry again, apparently surprised that Potter knew exactly how he was feeling. “Don’t be surprised Snape; it’s painful to just look at you; I can tell how much pain you’re in. But please, just listen to me. No one holds what you did against you, except yourself. You were angry when you called my mother a ‘Mudblood’- “Snape looked up furiously, but didn’t say anything. “You weren’t thinking straight and people tend to say things they don’t mean when they are angry. Mum may not have realised that.”  
“Don’t blame Lily for this,” Snape whispered in an accusatory tone.   
“I’m not, Snape. I am just trying to show you that my mother may have regretted the loss of your friendship too. Sure, she thought you were a Death Eater and consequently, perhaps she didn’t regret her decision, but I bet you, that had she not turned you away, you would not have become a Death Eater; Mum would have changed your mind; you would have stopped for her; no matter how much you loved the Dark Arts, you loved her more. I have no doubt.” Harry said confidently. But Snape didn’t respond, so Harry continued. “And then when you heard the prophecy, how were you to know who it referred to? After all, if you didn’t complete the mission, Voldemort probably would have punished you, so you took your chances, never dreaming that the prophecy may one day put Lily in such peril. And yet it happened and you still blame yourself? You blamed yourself for something that was completely out of your hands and it’s been eating you up ever since. That’s when you became a ‘bad’ person, if you want to call it that. You never talked to anyone about it- you kept your guilt locked up inside and I know from experience that that isn’t good for you. You tried your best to protect her, you went to Dumbledore. But they were the ones who trusted Wormtail, not you. And I know that had they appointed you their secret keeper, there would have been nothing Voldemort could have done that would have tempted you to utter their whereabouts. But unfortunately, they trusted the wrong man-”  
“Don’t you dare blame Lily for her death!”  
Harry jumped a little, surprised by the sudden outburst.  
“I’m not blaming my mother, she could have chosen to live when Voldemort offered, but she chose to die and in doing so, gave me the power to one day defeat Voldemort.”  
“You’re just like Dumbledore, Potter! Who cares about Lily’s life as long as she gave it so that the Dark Lord could one day be defeated!”  
“She was my mother, Snape! How can you think that I wanted her to die? I would have preferred both of my parents to have lived because then I would have had the opportunity to get to know them! You knew my parents better than I did! I would have given anything for my parents to not have died, but I realise now that there is no point in dwelling on it. Do I blame my parents for their own deaths? No! There was nothing they did that I wouldn’t have done. Do I blame anyone, except Voldemort for their deaths? No! I don’t even blame Wormtail, because it’s clear to me that he was always a cowardly, pathetic individual who only befriended those more powerful than he. At the present moment, the last person I would blame is you because I know that you never would have wanted my mother to die even if that meant saving my father, despite how he treated you, I know you would have because that’s how much you loved her! When I saw your face the night she died, I could tell that you were in great pain, and I knew that you would find it extremely difficult to forgive yourself. But in retrospect, I realise that the anger and bitterness you displayed to myself and your other students wasn’t because you were a bad person but because I reminded you of that memory, that terrible thing that you did. You have blamed yourself for far too long, you have caused yourself enough pain. To tell you the truth, nineteen years ago, after I saw your memories, the thing I wanted to do most was tell you how sorry I was that you too were a part of the plan for the ‘greater good’, that you were ordered to kill Dumbledore by the man himself when you didn’t want to; I could see that that caused you a lot of pain as well- I couldn’t have killed Dumbledore no matter how much he begged me- you were very brave. You knew everyone on the good side- the side you were truly on, would hate you but you did it anyway, for Dumbledore- for Lily. But more importantly, I wanted to tell you that the moment I saw your face the night my mother died, I forgave you for everything you had ever done: the way you treated me was because I was a living reminder that Mum chose Dad over you and everything else you did was for Lily, and to me that was more than good enough.”  
Harry stopped talking as he watched several tears pour down Snape’s face. They were silent tears, for Snape hadn’t uttered a sound, but Harry thought it appropriate to stop; he had said enough.   
As tears continued to pour down his face, Snape remained looking into space, not uttering a sound. After a couple of minutes, Harry was feeling a little uncomfortable; he didn’t know what to say or do. Did Snape want him to go? Was there anything Snape wanted to say? Harry didn’t want to interrupt Snape’s thoughts, but it was already 10pm and Ginny was probably worried about him, but at the same time, he didn’t want to leave if Snape still wanted to talk to him. After all, he’s been waiting nineteen years for this moment.  
Harry made to get up, thinking that if he tried to leave, Snape would either let him go or stop him, but Snape spoke making Harry freeze to the spot.  
“Thank you,” Snape whispered.  
“No, thank you,” Harry replied just as quietly. Harry was happy to see that although Snape still seemed upset, at least he was beginning to acknowledge that Harry really does care and respect him for what he did. Finally, there was some understanding and Harry hoped that one day Snape would recover from the past.  
As Harry began walking towards the door to let himself out, he had a sudden thought. Of course he would need to ask Ginny if it was okay, but he was sure she wouldn’t mind.  
“What are you doing for Christmas?” Harry asked, knowing full well that it was the most random question one could ask at such a time.  
“Nothing of importance, why?” Snape replied, as he wiped his face with his hand.  
“Well as a treat for our children, Ginny, Hermione, Ron and myself intend to tell them about our past and I think it would be a great opportunity to reveal to them that you are Severus, one of the people Al was named after. You can help us tell them the story. It’d mean a lot to me- to us- if you came to Grimmauld Place on Christmas Eve,” Harry concluded, genuinely hoping that Snape would take up the offer.  
“No, thank you Potter,” Snape said, though Harry could sense that a bit of Snape really would like to attend.  
“Please?” Harry said in the most genuine way he could manage, looking at Snape intently. Snape noticed the way Harry was looking at him and saw how Harry’s green eyes, Lily’s eyes pleaded with him to come. Snape couldn’t resist Lily’s eyes and before he knew what he was saying he said: “If you insist.”  
“That’s great! Well I’ll tell Ginny you’re coming. If it is okay with you, could you arrive at Grimmauld Place before 10am because we would have no hope of stalling for much longer than that,” Harry asked, smiling.  
Snape nodded.   
“Okay, well we’ll see you on the 24th of December,” Harry said, so excited for that day to come.  
Snape nodded again, not quite believing what he had just agreed to as Harry walked out of Snape’s office.


	10. There are all kinds of courage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge 'thank you' for reading 'It is our choices'. This chapter is very long (and there will be ones of similar length in future), the majority of which covers the first 5 years of Harry's schooling and the reactions of the Potter + Weasley children. I hope you enjoy the chapter and please feel free to leave any comments or thoughts you wish to share :)

Just before the summer holidays began, another sighting of Dementors created panic at Hogwarts. Although the creatures were a little bit closer to Hogwarts than the last time they were found, the ministry was still at a loss as to how they escaped. Harry, as the head of the Auror department was especially concerned because as far as he could see, the only people who could have freed them from the enclosure are those who work at the ministry. But what is even stranger still is that the culprit has never been caught despite the 24 hour security and monitoring of the place. Minerva and the staff at Hogwarts knew the students were safe while they remained within the grounds; Minerva’s spells and charms around the castle were sufficient to prevent the Dementors from endangering the students. But nevertheless, the staff were being extremely strict on the students’ whereabouts; the Dementors were starving for a large dose of happy thoughts. Of course, the Aurors managed to find the Dementors and used Patronus charms to force them back into their enclosure, but there was still confusion as to how they kept getting out. Kingsley was no longer convinced it was someone’s mistake, but a purposeful plan. Harry and Ron were also convinced someone was behind it, but they had no inclination of who or why someone would release them constantly, knowing full well that the Dementors wouldn’t get very far. However, with Christmas only a week away, both Harry and Ron had their mind occupied with other things like gifts and Christmas Eve.  
After talking to Snape some three months ago, Harry spoke to Ginny about Snape coming over. She thought it would be a good idea, but was a little nervous to see the man after so many years. They decided not to tell Hermione and Ron that Snape would be coming, but did inform them of what happened when Harry went to Hogwarts to give his speech. Both of them were speechless that the man was still alive and neither of them expected that they would ever see him. Harry and Ginny decided it would be fun to keep it a secret and Harry smiled at the thought. Ron and Hermione were looking forward to the occasion because unlike the Potter children, Rose and Hugo knew nothing of their past. All four parents were surprised they had managed to keep the secret for so long, but felt that it was time they spoke to their children. Although Hermione was a little hesitant to do so because she still thought Lily and Hugo were too young, the other three convinced her that they’ll be okay, and that they’d ensure their children understood what they did, and why and how it is different to the present situation; they didn’t want their children to be scared of it happening again or to have nightmares that they or their parents will be murdered in the middle of the night.  
On the night of the 23rd, Harry and Ginny told their children that the following day, their cousins would be coming over and together they would discuss their past and give more detail about Voldemort and the people involved in the fight against him. All three of their children were especially excited and found it hard to sleep. Although Christmas was coming, Harry and Ginny were surprised that their children were looking forward to Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day. This was going to be the best Christmas ever.

*****

After roughly three months, Snape still couldn’t believe he had accepted Potter’s invitation to Grimmauld Place for Christmas Eve. Firstly, the house once belonged to Sirius and that in itself was enough to deter Snape away from the place; he never liked going there for the Order meetings and always left as quickly as possible. But more so, Snape just couldn’t see how this conversation would work out and feared how Potter’s children would judge and perceive him. He was, after all, their professor and although Minerva had no problem with Snape seeing them out of the school term, Snape felt nervous; he was sure Potter’s children wouldn’t be able to keep their mouths shut once they returned to Hogwarts and he didn’t particularly want the whole school knowing that he was a Death Eater and changed to the good side because he loved Lily. Although Snape wasn’t ashamed of his feelings for Lily, he had kept them private for so long that he would never feel comfortable for everyone to know. Even though Harry may be content with everyone knowing his thoughts and feelings, Snape was quite the opposite and didn’t like the idea of being present when Potter’s children found out he loved their grandmother.  
On the night of the 23rd, Snape had a feeling- he didn’t know what kind of feeling, but a feeling all the same that made him uncomfortable and extremely reluctant to go to Grimmauld Place the following day. But he consoled himself that he already told Potter he was going, and didn’t want them to think he was afraid or too cowardly to talk about the past. That night Snape had a restless sleep. He had dreams about the following day where Potter would be arguing with his children, James throwing things at him when he walked into the room and Albus laughing when Harry told him that he was named after Professor Snape. Albus’ green eyes, identical to his father’s and Lily’s were disappointed and saw nothing special about what Severus had done. Again Snape felt worthless as Lily’s eyes continued to haunt him throughout the night.

*****

It was the morning of the 24th and Harry was becoming agitated because it was already ten in the morning and his children were constantly begging him and his friends to begin the story. Although Hermione and Ron were content to begin not knowing that Snape had not yet arrived, Ginny and Harry were trying to stall the situation because they didn’t want to start without the man.   
Snape had Apparated outside the door of Grimmauld Place, old memories filling him as he remembered all the times he had been there to see members of the Order and realizing that this time when he walked in it would be Harry’s home- his family’s home. Snape was shaking slightly and not because it was a cold winter’s morning.   
Master yourself. Snape told himself as he tried to calm his nerves. He couldn’t believe he was so nervous about the gathering, but after being ‘dead’ for nineteen years and after having several disturbing dreams the night before, it wasn’t easy to walk into the place without being a little edgy.  
Taking a deep breath, Snape rang the bell and immediately wanted to turn around and Apparate away, but he stayed and waited impatiently for someone to answer his ring.  
Harry jumped at the sound of the bell, but was quickly overcome with relief; Snape had finally arrived. The children, Ron and Hermione had a curious look on their faces, wondering who would be joining them. Ginny motioned for Harry to answer the door, smiling as she too was excited about what was going to occur. Harry leapt up and walked quickly to the door. Looking through the peep hole he saw Snape standing there fidgeting, dressed in his usual black cloak. Ensuring that everyone was still in the living room and out of sight from the front door, Harry greeted Snape.  
“I was beginning to wonder when you’d arrive,’ Harry said, stepping aside so that Snape could walk past him.  
“My apologises. I was brewing a potion and wanted to finish adding the ingredients so I could leave it to brew,’ Snape said, his heart racing as he looked around; he hardly recognised the place that once was the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. There were Christmas decorations lining the walls and a very handsome Christmas tree that Snape could see in the living room. The home was no longer dark and dreary, but a comfortable, warm place. Harry led Snape into the living room, Snape following somewhat reluctantly; he honestly couldn’t believe he was doing this.  
“Okay everyone, there is going to be an addition to our little gathering today and I thought it suitable to invite this person along considering what we are talking about.”  
“I didn’t know you were inviting someone else, you should have told us Harry,” Ron said a little annoyed that Harry hadn’t informed him and Hermione beforehand. Ginny gave Ron a dirty look, knowing that that was not going to encourage Snape. Indeed, Snape whispered something only Harry could hear.  
“You didn’t tell them? I am leaving.” But before Snape could move a step, Harry grabbed onto the man’s wrist and held tightly onto him; he had got the man this far, he wasn’t going to allow him to back out now. “Let go, Potter!” Snape whispered angrily, but Harry ignored him.  
“I invited Professor Snape to join us,” Harry announced as he moved aside, hoping to god that Snape would actually move out from behind the wall. The moment that Harry finished speaking however, there was an instant outbreak of noise. Ron was talking the loudest, outraged that Harry and Ginny kept the information a secret. Rose, James and Albus were talking all at once, discussing how weird it would be to have their professor in the house but soon became excited about what was going to happen. Lily and Hugo were also excited, and Lily was informing her cousin a little about who Professor Snape was. Hermione was completely shocked and remained speechless. She as well as Ginny and Harry were the only ones being silent because although the other members of the family were talking, Snape still hadn’t moved from behind the wall; the more the man heard from those in the living room, the more he wanted to leave. Harry was watching Snape very closely, monitoring him to make sure he didn’t suddenly bolt for the door.   
Snape was trying to take deep breaths, but his attempts weren’t working for his breaths were quick and his heart was racing so fast he felt sick. Snape kept telling himself to calm down; that they’re only kids and adults that he once taught. There was nothing scary about the situation, but nevertheless the current position he was in made him extremely nervous and he feared how everyone would react, what they would say and what would be revealed. He wasn’t sure he wanted them to know who he was and what he had done. Just when Snape was thinking of leaving, the talking in the living room still loud and audible, Harry walked over the Snape. Harry could tell Snape was nervous and although he would never be able to convince the man of this, he knew there was nothing for him to worry about. As he walked towards Snape, knowing full well the man was thinking of leaving, he looked at him, trying to encourage him to be brave. Finally, when Harry reached Snape, who still hadn’t moved, he said quietly:   
“Come on, Professor Snape, it’ll be okay.”  
Snape stared at Harry, not quiet believing Harry’s assertion.  
“I am not welcome here,” Snape whispered, turning his back on Harry, and walking towards the door.  
Harry was quick however, and placed his hand on Snape’s shoulder.  
“Severus,” Harry said. “Please stay.”  
Snape was surprised Potter had actually addressed him as ‘Severus’ and it reminded him heavily of the way both Albus and Lily used to speak to him. Turning around, Snape paused and finally nodded. This time he followed Harry through to the living room.  
“Bloody hell,” Ron exclaimed at the sight of Snape.  
Following this, the room remained silent as everyone stared at Snape. Eventually, James broke the silence.  
“Can someone please explain to us why Dad was so surprised to see Professor Snape the day he gave his talk? Exactly what does he have to do with this?” James asked in what he hoped was a nice way for he didn’t want to be put on the detention the moment he got back to Hogwarts.  
“James, that’s not a nice thing to say,” Ginny reprimanded her son.  
“But Mum, no one has explained it to us and I really want to know how you guys know him.” The parents looked at one another, not entirely sure where to start. Finally Harry spoke.  
“Why don’t we all take a seat first and then we’ll talk about it,” Harry suggested. The children remained on the floor and in a rather strange arrangement, the adults surrounded them in an almost complete circle in some comfy chairs that were carefully placed in the room by Harry and Ginny. Once everyone was settled, Snape sitting in a single chair the furthest away from the others, Harry continued.  
“Professor Snape was our,” indicating his wife and friends, “potions master for the first five years at Hogwarts and our Defense against the Dark Arts teacher in our sixth year.” Harry would have continued saying that he believed Snape to have been dead for the last nineteen years due to Voldemort, but soon realised that Rose and Hugo didn’t know about his defeat of Voldemort yet. “There’s more to it than that, but seeing as Rose and Hugo don’t know much about our past, perhaps we should start there.” Harry suggested, looking between the other adults in the room for their consent. Each of them nodded in response.  
“Hermione or Ron, do you want to start, seeing as James, Al and Lily already know some of it?”  
Ron looked to Hermione, indicating that she could start.  
“Rose and Hugo, do you remember how everyone was looking at Uncle Harry when Rose caught the Hogwarts Express on September the first?” Both Rose and Hugo nodded looking excited. “Well the reason for that is because Uncle Harry is famous in the wizarding world.”  
“I knew it!” Rose exclaimed. “I knew Dad was lying that day! Because I heard older students at Hogwarts talking about the speech Uncle Harry was going to give and they were really excited. I knew it wasn’t just because he was the Head Auror in the department, I knew he must have done something special, otherwise people wouldn’t really care about what he would have to say, would they?” Rose said excitedly.  
Hermione beamed at her daughter, so proud of her deductive reasoning.  
“Well done Rosie!” Ron continued for his wife. “Now, here’s the real trick. Do you remember us telling you about Voldemort and the person who defeated him? The person people continue to refer to as the ‘Boy who lived’?”  
“Yes!” both of the children replied.  
“Well, the person we’re talking about is actually-”  
“No…” Rose said, finally getting where the conversation was going. “You don’t mean it was Uncle Harry who did that? Uncle Harry is the ‘Chosen One’?”  
Hugo was looking between his parents and his uncle, hardly believing what he was hearing.  
“So now that we have updated you-”  
“Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” Hugo asked. He wasn’t hurt, but simply curious.  
This time Hermione answered. “Well it would be fine to have told you that Harry was the one who defeated Voldemort, but of course we knew you would want to know in greater detail exactly what happened. So we decided to keep it a secret until you were old enough to hear the whole story. And now, we think you are ready to hear it.”  
“So let’s hear it!” James exclaimed, so excited that he could hardly contain himself.

Harry began telling the children what had happened with regard to the prophecy, what it said and consequently why his parents were murdered by Voldemort. He of course left out the fact that Snape was the Death Eater who overheard the prophecy because he didn’t want his children to think ill of the man so soon into the conversation. Harry wanted to make sure he didn’t leave anything out, such as the importance of love, how his mother’s sacrifice lived in his very skin and blood; why Dumbledore had sent him to the Dursleys, and most importantly the philosopher’s stone and Voldemort’s possession of Quirrell. The children were enthralled with the story and could hardly believe what they were hearing. Although Harry mentioned that he and his friends didn’t particularly like Snape, he also emphasised the fact that although Snape appeared to be after the stone, it wasn’t in fact true and consequently, it doesn’t pay to judge people. Harry was happy to see the children take a liking towards Snape throughout the conversation. Although Snape hardly uttered anything, they seemed to become more comfortable around the man and didn’t seem to fear his presence so much.   
When Harry had finished telling the children everything from what was down the trapdoor (with Ron and Hermione’s help, of course) to the secrets of the Mirror of Erised and everything Harry found out about his mother’s sacrifice from Dumbledore that year, James, Albus and Lily were delighted that they finally knew about the first time their father defied the evil Lord Voldemort. However, Harry being both modest and gracious replied: “Yes, that was the first time I defied him, but like I said during my talk at Hogwarts, I had help; if it wasn’t for Dumbledore I wouldn’t have survived and without Ron and Hermione’s assistance, I may never have got to the chamber and Quirrell may have found the stone.”  
“That is not entirely true.” Snape spoke for the first time since he walked into the living room. Every pair of eyes turned towards him.  
“What do you mean, Professor Snape?” Harry asked, extremely curious.  
“Quirrell would never have obtained the stone, Dumbledore wanted to make sure of that,” Snape stated plainly, remembering the conversation he had with the man all those years ago.  
“Okay, so you’re saying that if we didn’t follow him, he would have stayed down there forever? Well in that case I guess we sort of wasted our time, then. But at least it was good experience…” Harry said a little crestfallen.  
“Exactly,” Snape said quietly.  
“Is there something about this that we don’t know?” Ron asked, staring at Snape.  
“Dumbledore wanted Potter to learn important facts about the Dark Lord,’ Snape answered simply.  
“Like what?” Harry asked, not believing that it was only now that he was finding this out.  
“He wanted you to realise what state the Dark Lord was in, that he was a parasite leaching off others. He hoped you would ask him questions about why the Dark Lord couldn’t touch you and that you would realise the Dark Lord was and has always been power hungry and extremely determined to get back to power. Also, as you said, it was a good experience and Dumbledore was glad to know that your friends were a great asset to you,” Snape said, not quite believing he was complimenting Potter as well as Ron and Hermione after tormenting them for so many years when they were students.  
“Dumbledore planned for us to go down there?” Ron asked a little disgusted.  
“We could have died!” Hermione said completely shocked.  
“He understood that,” Snape replied turning to Hermione, “but he thought the knowledge Potter would obtain was very important and consequently told me to not stop you if I saw you going to the third floor.”  
“And did you see us?” Harry asked.  
“Yes, but I obeyed orders and let you go without giving you detention like I so badly wanted to,” Snape sneered again, momentarily forgetting that the children were listening.  
“Why did you want to give them detention, Professor Snape? If Professor Dumbledore wanted them to go down there, it’s a bit mean to give them detention isn’t it?” Rose asked a little nervously.  
“Well Rosie, back in those days, Snape didn’t care too much how many detentions he gave us; he didn’t like us that much,” Ron pointed out, looking at Snape who surprisingly resumed his impassive expression.  
“Were you always mean to them, Professor Snape?” Albus asked.  
“He got worse,” Ron answered looking at Snape who was staring back at Ron, unsure as to where Weasley intended on taking the conversation.  
“So what happened in your second year then?” James asked, still excited by the conversation; he couldn’t believe how fascinating his parents, Aunt and Uncle’s lives were.  
“Well I started my first year at Hogwarts,” Ginny said smiling “and I couldn’t wait to meet the famous Harry Potter face to face,” she stated making Harry blush furiously.  
“Yeah, she could hardly speak in front of Harry, it got kind of annoying after a while,” Ron said, recalling how his sister used to act around his best friend.  
“Well I guess I should tell you about the diary I had because that’s where all the problems started.”  
“What was wrong with the diary, Aunt Ginny?” Hugo asked.  
“Well I found it amongst all the school books my mother bought me from Diagon Alley. It was black and looked very old, but there was nothing written in it, so I decided I would use it. When I first wrote in it, however, it wrote back to me,” Ginny said to the children, waiting to see how they would react.  
“That’s awesome, Mum!” James exclaimed. “Did you have conversations with it?”  
“It’s like carrying a friend in your bag!” Lily added.  
“I want one!” Albus exclaimed.  
“No! I will not let you make the same mistake as me! Never ever communicate with anything unless you can see where its brain is kept,” Ginny said fiercely to her children  
“Ginny, you sound just like Dad,” Ron pointed out, laughing.  
“It’s not funny, Ron! They must understand that some things are very dangerous and when an object can think for itself, it isn’t normal and if you ever do find an object like that you must tell us at once!” Ginny said.  
“What happened, Mum? What was wrong with the diary?” Albus asked, a little nervous that his mother was so upset.  
Ginny continued to do most of the narration for she was highly involved with Tom Riddle’s diary and the Chamber of Secrets. Rose was particularly fascinated with the conversation because like her mother, she had read Hogwarts: a history several times and was dying to know what type of monster was lurking in the castle. Ginny didn’t mention that the diary was a Horcrux however, thinking that it would be an interesting surprise for later in the story when she or one of the others revealed to the children and Snape that it was a Horcrux. The children listened with rapt attention while Snape sat rather lazily, only half listening to the conversation that was taking place. When the adults finally got to the part about the location of the Chamber and how they got in, the children wanted every little bit of detail.  
“So where is the entrance to the Chamber?” James asked, excitement blazing in his eyes.  
“In the girl’s bathroom on the second floor there is a ghost that haunts the toilets. Her name is Moaning Myrtle and she was alive when Tom Riddle opened the Chamber the first time. She actually died from the gaze of the basilisk,” said Ron.  
“Oh, that’s so sad,” Lily said sympathetically.  
“If you meet her, you may not feel so sorry for her; she can be really annoying at times,” Ron said, remembering all too well the endless amount of crying he heard when they were brewing the Polyjuice potion.  
“Which is why few people go in there,” Harry added. “There is also a sink that doesn’t work and if you look closely there’s a snake engraved on one of the taps. If you say ‘open’ in Parseltongue, it will reveal the entrance,” Harry explained.  
“So that’s what you and Dad did?” Hugo asked.  
“Yes, we slid down the pipe but shortly afterwards a part of the ceiling caved in and Ron and I were separated. Ron stayed trying to move some of the rocks for me to get back through and I went on to find Ginny. I ran towards the end of the Chamber because I really wanted to find Ginny and get out before the basilisk found us. Finally I saw Ginny’s body lying on the ground-”  
“Oh, Mummy!” Lily cried, running up to her mother and sitting on her lap, clinging onto Ginny.  
“It’s alright, sweetie. I was okay, thanks to your father,” Ginny looked up to smile at her husband. “I don’t want you to worry, alright?” Lily nodded, but continued to hold onto her mother.  
“I ran to Ginny and found a pulse. I was so relieved. Then I saw Tom Riddle standing next to me and I told him we had to get out and save Ginny. However, I noticed something was wrong about the situation; despite being a memory, Tom could still touch things because he managed to take my wand. He also informed me that the basilisk won’t come until it was called. By this stage, I was pretty sure I was in danger; Tom wasn’t the trustworthy person he seemed in the diary. Anyway, he explained to me that he had been possessing Ginny and that it was she that released the basilisk- not that she knew what she was doing,” Harry reassured the children. Tom then expressed how excited he was that I found the diary and I wondered why he would care. Much to my surprise, when I asked who he was, Tom wrote his full name ‘Tom Marvolo Riddle’ with my wand and made the letters reorganize themselves to spell ‘I am Lord Voldemort’.”  
All of the children were shocked and either gasped or otherwise remained silent and still. Lily clung more tightly to her mother.  
Finally James spoke. “So Tom was Voldemort? He was the Heir of Slytherin?”  
“Yes, but what I saw was a memory or trace of Tom when he was sixteen years old.”  
“But hang on; if that was Voldemort then he must have tried to kill you. Wouldn’t he have called the basilisk?” Rose asked, as she now wondered how her uncle overcame that obstacle.  
“Yes, he did call the basilisk. I was terrified. I ran as far as I could, while I thought of a plan, but the huge snake caught up easily. Pretty soon Tom was laughing at me, thinking that with Dumbledore gone, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I told Tom what Dumbledore once told me: as long as we remained loyal to Dumbledore, help will always be given to those who ask for it. And then, just at the right moment, Dumbledore’s phoenix, Fawkes and the Sorting Hat arrived. Fawkes pecked the eyes of the basilisk so it could no longer kill me with its stare and I put on the Sorting Hat, not really knowing what to do. Suddenly a huge, heavy weight fell on my head and I pulled a sword out of the hat.”  
“Awesome!” James exclaimed.  
“It was, actually,” Harry replied smiling a little. “It was Gryffindor’s sword.”  
“Wow!” Albus and James said together.  
“So I used the sword to kill the basilisk, but in the process, the snake managed to pierce me with one of its fangs and it poisoned me. After I killed the snake, I stumbled over to Tom and Ginny. Tom was still there and I was trying to find a way to destroy him. Eventually I stabbed the diary with the basilisk fang from my arm and Tom was destroyed and the diary no longer contained his memories. Ginny woke up, much to my relief, but I was still poisoned and was slowly losing consciousness.”  
“But phoenixes have tears that heal wounds right? Couldn’t Fawkes have cried on your arm?” Rose asked, hoping that she was right in her assertion.  
“Well done, Rose, that’s exactly what happened,” Hermione said beaming once again.  
“Yes, Fawkes cried on my arm and soon I was healthy again. I took Ginny out of the Chamber and we found Ron and got out of the place.”  
“So would that be the second time you defied Voldemort?” Hugo asked.  
“Well if you can call it that, because it was more that I battled a basilisk because I didn’t actually have any contact or duel with Voldemort himself,” Harry explained.  
“But still, Uncle Harry, you escaped him ‘cause he was controlling the basilisk, right?” Hugo pointed out, thinking that what his uncle did was beyond amazing.  
“I suppose so, Hugo,” Harry agreed.  
“Did you have any suspicions about who was the heir before you found out about Tom being Voldemort?” James asked.  
Harry and his friends looked at each other.  
“Well we thought that a student in our year, Draco Malfoy, was the heir because he was supportive of the attacks and found them entertaining. Because he and Harry didn’t get along, we thought it could be Draco, but obviously we were proven wrong,” Hermione explained.  
“Is he the father of Scorpius?” Albus asked, recognizing the surname as one of his classmates.  
“Yes, he is. What is Scorpius like, I forgot to ask you,” Harry said looking at Albus and Rose.  
“He seems pretty intelligent but talks rather boastfully of himself; he seems to think he’s more important than the rest of us,” Rose answered. “But he’s not mean, as such, he just doesn’t really talk to those who aren’t in his house unless he has to.”  
“Really? That’s surprising,” Harry answered.  
“Yeah, like the other day Scorpius and I were working on a potion together and he talked a lot about his family and the fact that he is pureblood, but he was never rude, just a bit annoying,” Albus clarified his cousin’s assertion.  
“That’s very interesting; he sounds slightly different to what his father was like,” Hermione wondered out loud.  
“Maybe Draco’s wife raised their child to not be such a brat,” Ron replied somewhat aggressively; despite Draco not being as bad as he and his friends always thought, Ron still thought he was too much like Lucius and consequently wouldn’t have the sense or desire to discipline his child to be any different from himself.  
“Perhaps, or maybe Draco’s changed since he was at Hogwarts?” Hermione suggested, not really expecting anyone to agree with her.  
Harry was about to ask Albus and Rose more about his nemesis’s son when he caught Snape nodding slightly.  
“Has Draco changed?” Harry asked Snape.  
“I would say so. I think, since getting married and moving away from his father, he has realised that there are few rewards for being rude and conceited. Although Scorpius still maintains the Malfoy pride, he seems a much more respectful student than Draco ever was at that age,” Snape asserted; he had not yet put the boy on detention.  
“So what did you do in Dad’s second year, Professor Snape?” asked Albus, wanting to know if the man had caused more trouble for his parents, uncle and aunt.  
“Oh, Professor Snape was still putting us on detention whenever he got the chance and still gave me really terrible marks-” Harry said in a joking manner.  
“You did not deserve any better,” Snape said trying to defend himself.  
“Yeah, well I tried hard, but potions wasn’t easy,” Harry stated.  
Snape sneered.

Harry began discussing their third year at Hogwarts, with Ron often putting in his own input as if the fact that Peter Pettigrew was his pet rat was still a personal offense. Harry made sure that Snape was still put in a good light, implying that Snape had every reason to think Sirius was dangerous and someone they shouldn’t trust. Although the children knew Snape was in the same year as the Mauraders and Lily, Harry didn’t mention what kind of relationship Snape had with them thinking that it would be more appropriate to introduce it when they began talking about Occlumency and what Harry discovered in the Pensieve. But still, Harry implied that Snape was only trying to help and had no prior grudges against Sirius or Lupin. Of course, Snape found this to be extremely strange for he was sure Harry would have said something about his hatred of Sirius. But eventually, he realised what Harry was doing and was grateful that Potter was also enjoying the way his children were acting around him, almost as if Professor Snape was not a teacher but a very interesting man. Although the children rarely asked Snape questions, when they did, they were very eager for his response and Snape couldn’t help but enjoy the attention they were giving him.   
Harry recounted the night when the Dementors were at the lake and ready to perform the kiss on both himself and Sirius. He didn’t bother telling them about the time traveling because he felt it would take too long and be too complicated; something that wasn’t really important to the rise of Voldemort, even though it was a really interesting experience. Once the Dementors were mentioned, the children requested that Harry and the other adults cast their Patronuses. Everyone except Snape obliged. Although he wasn’t ashamed of revealing his Patronus, Snape didn’t feel comfortable discussing something so personal for he had no doubt the children would realise his Patronus was female and as much as he loved Lily, it was still too painful to discuss his feelings for her. Besides, he didn’t want Rose, James and Albus parading that fact around the castle; he could only imagine the taunts he would get if other students found out that he loved Harry Potter’s mother. So he told the children that he can produce a Patronus, but he then couldn’t really think of a good excuse as to why he didn’t want to produce it. Luckily, Ginny intervened and asserted that if Snape didn’t want to cast his Patronus, then that was his own business, not theirs. Snape was grateful that Ginny detected his uneasiness and respected the fact that he didn’t want to share his Patronus with those in his company. The children accepted Ginny’s defense of Snape pretty easily and soon wanted to know about their fourth year and whether or not Pettigrew managed to find Voldemort for the children were highly concerned that Pettigrew was the reason Voldemort came back to power. 

Harry began discussing the visions he had before he went back to Hogwarts for his fourth year. Those that seemed real and vivid still haunted him to this day, even though he knew he would never have to experience them again, he felt it was necessary to reflect the close relationship he and Voldemort seemed to have. The children were horrified by the visions Harry reported seeing and he emphasised that it was this connection with Voldemort that also allowed him to speak Parselmouth, which much to everyone’s disappointment, Harry could no longer speak. Hermione told a majority of the narration for she was the only one to not have had their turn to share the spotlight and one of the first things she asserted was that Pettigrew had in fact returned to his master. Harry was grateful that Hermione was the one telling them about the Triwizard Tournament as well as the intricacies surrounding the imposter Mad-eye Moody and the information Harry discovered from his adventure into the Pensieve. Although Harry helped Hermione out whenever he could with regard to the specific details, he admired her immensely for how much she could remember. It was only then that Harry truly realised how complicated their past was. There was so much happening that year and it was so complicated that he was surprised the children seemed to be grasping every last bit of information.  
When Hermione finally arrived to the point where Harry and Cedric touched the Triwizard cup, Harry decided to take over seeing as Hermione didn’t go with them to the graveyard.  
“So when Cedric and I touched the cup, we discovered that it was a Portkey and it took us to a graveyard. I had been to that graveyard before, I had seen it in one of the visions I had of Voldemort and knew we were in great danger. My scar burned ferociously and I could see Pettigrew up ahead holding a foetal creature in his arms. A high pitched voice ordered Pettigrew to kill Cedric and before I knew it, Cedric was lying dead beside me.”  
“That’s terrible, Daddy,” Lily said quietly, hugging her mother tightly around the waist.  
“Did Voldemort try to kill you, Uncle Harry?” Rose asked.  
“Well, Voldemort needed my blood to help him return back to power, so he didn’t try to kill me immediately, but yes, he did try. With the bone of his father, the flesh of a servant and the blood of the enemy, he was able to resurrect himself into a fully functional, physical being once again. It was terrifying to watch and I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to get out of there, but he had me tied to a tombstone and I didn’t have my wand so I couldn’t break free. Luckily, Voldemort was stupid enough to want a one on one duel with me, so he released me from my bonds and gave me my wand back-”  
“And you won, Dad?” James asked, awestruck.  
“Well, kind of, it’s really not as amazing as it sounds. Voldemort and I faced each other, the Death Eaters standing around us. At the same time, Voldemort said Avada Kedavra, I yelled Expelliarmus. When the spells collided in mid-air, a very rare phenomenon occurred. Voldemort and I began floating up in the air and a dome was forming around us. I had to hold my wand with two hands because it was shaking so much, and Voldemort too seemed to be having trouble controlling his wand. I focused all of my effort trying to force my spell towards him and eventually my spell managed to come in contact with Voldemort’s wand. Then in an instant, all of the spells Voldemort’s wand had performed were echoed in reverse order.”  
“Priori Incantatem!” Rose yelled, excitedly. Hermione, though Ron didn’t know it, had given Rose some of her books to read, ones that would help Rose understand the situation better when they finally told her and her relatives about the past. Not that Hermione thought Hugo was less able to understand, but rather thought that Rose would be particularly interested in the magic behind a phenomenon like Prior Incantatem.  
“What’s Priori Incantatem?” Albus asked, looking very confused.  
“Well, in this case, Voldemort solely used the killing curse with his wand, so the reverse of such curses creates an echo of the people he killed. So first I saw Cedric’s ‘ghost’ and he asked me to bring his body back to his parents. Then I saw the old man that was killed in Voldemort’s father’s home. And then I saw Bertha Jorkins, all of whom were encouraging me to keep the connection so that more of Voldemort’s victims would be regurgitated. Then I saw my mother followed closely by my father. All of these people were surrounding me and when my father told me, I pulled my wand away and broke the connection. While Voldemort was distracted by the ghosts of the people he murdered, I ran as fast as I could back to the cup, taking Cedric’s body with me.”  
“That’s so… amazing and yet so scary,” Hugo said, not quite knowing what to say.  
“But why did it happen, Uncle Harry?” Rose asked, for it seemed she didn’t quite understand how Priori Incantatem occurred in the first place.  
“Before I left for the Dursley’s at the end of that year, Dumbledore told me that Fawkes, his phoenix gave two feathers to Ollivander, the wandmaker to turn into wands. By coincidence, it would seem, Voldemort got one of them and I got the other. But as Ollivander told me, it is the wand that chooses the wizard and so it is interesting that we were destined for our wands. This is why Priori Incantatem occurred; our wands were brothers and consequently didn’t work properly against one another, but when they were forced to duel, Priori Incantatem occurred instead.”  
“Ohhh,” Rose answered, having a much better understanding of the concept now. The other children were simply shocked at how lucky Harry must have been for Priori Incantatem to have occurred; even though they knew Harry was a brilliant wizard, they believed that without the brother wand connection, Harry probably would have died.  
“So what happened when you returned to Hogwarts with Cedric’s body?” James asked, curious to know how everyone reacted and what they did now that Voldemort was back.  
“Well when I was transported back to Hogwarts, I immediately told Dumbledore that Voldemort was back. He heard me of course and told me stay put while he focused on Cedric’s death- naturally, but Professor Moody took me away from Dumbledore and into his office. I was too weak to resist so I followed. Not long after getting in his office, I noticed him acting very strangely and eventually he revealed to me that he was the Death Eater working inside Hogwarts, he was the one who helped me in the maze, by eliminating all other competition and he was also the one who made the cup a Portkey. I couldn’t believe it because Mad-Eye Moody had caught so many Death Eaters and put them in Azkaban. If I was thinking straight, I probably would have realised that the man in front of me was not really Mad-Eye. Luckily Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape entered Moody’s office, saved me from his clutches and forced him to reveal himself by giving him Veritaserum.”  
“What’s Veritaserum?” Lily asked, only having heard of the word, but not knowing what it did.  
“Veritaserum is a potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth,” Hermione stated clearly.  
“Oh! So what happened?” Lily said.  
“Well he drank it and informed us that he was not Mad-Eye Moody and that the real Mad-Eye Moody was in the trunk. He was still alive,” Harry confirmed quickly having seen the look on the children’s faces. “But he was ill. The imposter Moody then told us who he was-”  
“And who was he?” James asked in wonder.  
“Barty Crouch Junior,” Harry answered.   
“Wasn’t he the man in that memory you saw where his father convicted him as a Death Eater and he denied it?” Rose asked a little disgusted.  
“Yes, that was him, Rose. After Crouch Junior confessed, the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge was called and Crouch Junior was supposed to testify to the ministry officials.”  
“Supposed to?” Albus asked, fearing that perhaps he also escaped, like Pettigrew, from the ministry and back to Voldemort.  
“Well, according to Professor McGonagall, Fudge insisted on having a Dementor escort him into Hogwarts, but of course the moment the Dementor recognised Crouch Junior for who he was, it kissed him.”  
“Is that such a bad thing?” James asked, thinking that the man thoroughly deserved it after putting his father in danger.  
“I understand what you are implying and yes, I think he did deserve it. But the problem was that there was no proof except our word that Crouch was the person who put my name in the Goblet of Fire and was responsible for the death of his father. With that evidence, the ministry would have been able to solve a lot of mysteries, but without the evidence there was no proof. Dumbledore was not very happy, but like you James, he probably realised the man deserved it. So now that Voldemort was back, Dumbledore began to organize members of the Order of the Phoenix and sent various people on missions,” Harry paused for a moment to look at Snape to see if the man wanted to tell a little bit about what he did. Snape indicated that Harry continue for now.  
“So Hagrid and Madame Maxime were sent on a mission, though I had no idea what that would be and Uncle Bill was told to alert Grandpa Weasley what had happened, knowing that the Weasleys would believe that Voldemort was back.”  
“Didn’t everyone believe you?” Hugo asked, horrified that someone would be that stupid.  
“Well, it wasn’t that they didn’t believe me, but that they didn’t want to believe me.”  
“So they denied it?” Rose asked, indignantly.  
“Yes they did, a majority of the Ministry did, except the members of the Order.”  
“But that’s terrible! After you saw Voldemort come back to life, after Cedric dying and they still didn’t believe you?” Albus said outraged that the Minister back then was so determined to deny the return of Voldemort.  
“It was, Al and the following year was terrible for even some of my friends didn’t believe me. On top of that, the ministry was going to every effort to portray me and Dumbledore as crazy and unreliable people who had no idea what we were talking about with regard to Voldemort.”  
“But surely you must have had some proof that Voldemort was back?” Rose said, trying to find a way in which her uncle and parents could have proven the ministry wrong.  
“Well there would have been one way, but due to the nature of the situation…” Harry said, looking at Snape.  
“Why, what happened, Dad? Professor Snape?” Albus asked looking between his father and teacher.  
“The night that Voldemort returned, Dumbledore asked Professor Snape to do something, if he was ready. I had no idea what Dumbledore was talking about, but I could tell that Snape didn’t particularly want to do it, whatever it was.”  
“What was your mission, Professor Snape?” James asked, realizing that Snape’s mission sounded very interesting and obviously important.  
“Dumbledore wanted to me to spy on the Death Eaters,” Snape said, remembering how much he dreaded the look his master would give him when he returned. So far during this conversation, none of the other adults mentioned that Snape was a Death Eater and Snape didn’t want that to change.  
“So you weren’t actually a Death Eater, you just pretended to be?” Albus asked, thinking that Snape was very brave if he was willing to lie to Voldemort.  
The adults paused, knowing that that wasn’t entirely true, but before any of them could answer, Snape replied.  
“Yes, that’s right.” Snape’s response caused all of the children to talk at once, imagining how scary it would be if they had to go to Voldemort pretending to be a Death Eater and what would have happened if Snape was caught. Snape couldn’t help by smirk a little; he quite enjoyed Harry Potter’s children and Ron and Hermione’s children thinking that he was brave and courageous.  
“You must have been very loyal to Dumbledore to have done that. I don’t think I could have done it,” Rose asserted, completely amazed.  
As Harry was listening to the conversations that were occurring before him, he realised that although the occasion was extremely entertaining, especially seeing Snape’s reaction to the children’s compliments, he realised that if any of the children truly understood who Voldemort was, they would realise that there was no way Snape could have just walked up to Voldemort and asserted that he wanted to join him, especially after working for Dumbledore for so many years. But Harry didn’t want to mention this, for he could tell that Snape quite liked the attention he was getting. Harry wanted Snape to feel comfortable around his family.  
“So what happened the next year? Did the ministry finally realise Voldemort was back?” James asked, wanting more details so that he could bad mouth the stupid ministry.  
“Yes, they did eventually see him, but not until the end of the year,” Harry said.   
From there he began to tell the children about the evermore vivid dreams he was having about the corridor that led to the Department of Mysteries. He talked about the Dementor attack and how frustrating the trial was where hardly anyone believed that Dementors could possibly be in Little Whinging. He then discussed how he felt as Voldemort was slowly becoming a part of him. The children, especially Lily, was particularly frightened because although she knew her father was no longer affected, to think that Harry was once so greatly influenced by Voldemort horrified her. Harry then told the children how Hermione and Ron convinced him to form Dumbledore’s Army to rebel against Umbridge and the ministry. The children, especially James, thought the idea was awesome, especially because they were meeting behind Umbridge’s back. Of course, Harry took no time in telling the children about her evil detentions and obsession with pink attire. When Harry eventually began discussing the night he saw Nagini attack Mr Weasley, he paused, knowing that the children, like he did at the time, would think that something was seriously wrong with him. But Harry focused on telling the story carefully, however truthfully so that the children would understand what happened without thinking Harry to be completely crazy. Lily and Rose were horrified that what Harry saw was reality and even more shocked by the almost certain death of their grandfather had Harry not seen the attack. Then Harry introduced Occlumency, which of course, Rose knew all about and informed her brother and cousins about it.  
“Did Dumbledore teach you, Dad?” Albus asked, thinking about how cool it would be to be taught something like that by the most powerful wizard and the Headmaster of Hogwarts.  
“No, he didn’t, but I thought he would have,” Harry said, slowly.  
“Then who did?” James asked.  
“Professor Snape did,” Harry answered.  
“Can you do Occlumency, Professor Snape?” Rose asked, looking at her Professor with interest.  
“Yes, I can Miss Weasley.”  
“According to Dumbledore, Professor Snape was, and I’m sure still is, a great Occlumens which was required to spy on Voldemort,” Harry asserted, having only realised after seeing Snape’s memories just how proficient Snape must have been at hiding his emotions. Even to this day, Harry always found it interesting to reflect on the moment when Harry caught Snape off guard during one of their Occlumency lesson where Harry saw some of his professor’s childhood memories.  
“So, did you manage to learn it, Dad?” Albus asked.  
“Um… no. As Professor Snape always pointed out to me, I was someone who expressed my emotions and didn’t really know how to keep them inside. Professor Snape kept telling me to keep my mind blank, but I couldn’t. I never managed to block his attacks on my mind, except once…” Harry concluded, knowing that the children would want to know more about that one time. Sure enough, Albus asked: “What happened when you blocked him?”  
“Well it depends,” Rose answered for her uncle. “If Uncle Harry used a shield of some form, then the Legilimens charm would have rebounded and hit Professor Snape, but if he hexed Professor Snape, then it would have hurt him but not allowed Uncle Harry to see into his memories.”   
Snape was surprised at just how much Rose knew and believed her to be even more knowledgeable than her mother was at age eleven.  
“Very good, Rose!” Harry exclaimed. “Well I used a shield against Professor Snape, which means that I saw some of his memories, but only very briefly.”  
“What did you see?” James wondered, wanting to know a little bit about his Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.  
“Well, I think I would leave that up to Professor Snape, if he wants to tell you…” Harry said looking uncertainly at Snape, not knowing if he would want to tell the children about his rough childhood.  
“I did not have a very pleasant childhood. My parents would fight a lot and as an only child, I did not have anyone else to talk to at home. I did not have many friends, because I used to stay at home and read or otherwise create simple potions with my chemistry set. I kept to myself, but felt lonely at times.”  
Harry could hardly believe Snape elaborated so much, but nevertheless was glad Snape felt he could be a little open with the children, trusting them with information that wouldn’t necessarily affect his reputation as a professor if the news traveled around the school.  
“When I saw these images, I could hardly believe the boy I saw was Snape, because although Snape had saved my life on more than one occasion, he didn’t seem friendly at all and as you probably noticed when you saw Professor Snape for the first time; he doesn’t look like someone who would be upset and vulnerable,” Harry said and then quickly added, “No offense, Professor Snape.”  
“None taken, for if I acted any differently, the Death Eaters and the Dark Lord would have realised I wasn’t loyal and my cover would have been blown.”  
“Were you mad that Daddy saw your memories?” Lily asked, realizing that Snape, although he was someone who may not get upset, he could certainly get mad.  
“I was surprised that he managed it, because I didn’t think he would be capable of such an accomplishment; he found it difficult to hide his emotions. I was both impressed by his apparent skill, but also relieved that I had carefully stored some memories in a pensieve that I didn’t want him to-” But Snape stopped, realizing that he had already said too much. He knew what the next question would be and he did not want to answer it.  
“What were the memories you didn’t want Dad to see?” Albus asked wondering what his teacher could possibly have wanted to hide so badly.  
“I would rather not discuss it,” Snape said looking away from the children’s prying eyes.  
The children looked so disappointed that Ron ventured to ask: “Couldn’t you just tell them what Harry saw?”  
Snape stared at Ron. Although he didn’t really see the problem in doing as Ron suggested, he was a bit worried that Rose would be inquisitive enough to realise what it meant. But perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to let them know what kind of relationship he had with James and Sirius. But with regard to his love for Lily, that was something he wanted to keep secret; it was too personal.  
“I had to leave in the middle of one of our Occlumency lessons and that is when Potter took the liberty of entering the pensieve where he knew I stored some of my memories at the beginning of every lesson-“  
“You shouldn’t have done that, Daddy,” Lily said in a joking way to her father, but she realised that no doubt Harry was simply curious, like she was now.  
“I know and to be honest I wished I didn’t do it,” Harry said remembering how he worried his father was as arrogant as Snape always said he was.  
“Why, Dad?” James asked.  
“Let Professor Snape finish, okay?”  
“The memory Potter saw was during my fifth year at Hogwarts. I had just finished my Defense against the Dark Arts OWL and was looking over the paper near the lake. Sirius and James saw me and took the opportunity to aggravate me. They were bored and consequently thought it entertaining to mock me. Whenever I retaliated they would wash my mouth out with soap. Eventually they thought it would be funny if they levitated me to tip me upside down,” Snape mumbled, unable to continue.  
The children were silent, hardly believing that Sirius and James could have been so terrible, for none of them would ever imagine doing such a thing to any of their classmates, even if they were in Slytherin.  
“Of course no one dared argue with James for he was the most popular student at Hogwarts, so students would laugh at me out of fear. I was furious and humiliated. Then Lily came over and she told James to put me down. I realised that I was being rescued by a girl and was ashamed that I couldn’t handle the situation myself. James told me that I was lucky Lily was there to save me and in my anger and frustration, I called her a-”  
Snape looked towards Harry for help; he couldn’t utter the word for the memory still pained him deeply.  
“He called my mother a Mudblood,” Harry finished, getting ready for the reaction that would take place.  
“What!? That was really mean, Professor Snape!” Lily said, outraged.  
“I know and I felt terrible for saying it because Lily was my friend and I never meant to offend her,” Snape finished; that was all he was going to say on the subject and he had no desire for them to know anymore than that. He only hoped that none of the other adults would be foolish enough to elaborate on his deeper relationship with Lily.  
“So what happened when Professor Snape caught you, Dad?” James asked, still a little disturbed that his grandfather- the person he was named after, was so mean to his current professor.  
“Well he was furious, firstly because I looked at his memories without permission and secondly because he didn’t want me to see them. So he threw me out of his office and refused to teach me Occlumency ever again. But I didn’t care because I was deeply disturbed that my father and Godfather were so horrible to Snape. For the first time ever, I actually felt sorry for Snape.” Harry looked at Snape in a meaningful way in an effort to communicate that he genuinely empathised with Snape at the time. “Snape always told me that my father was arrogant and believed himself to be above everyone else and I always said to Snape that he was lying, jealous of my father. But after seeing that memory… I didn’t know what to think. So I communicated with Sirius and Lupin and they told me that my father grew out of it and although he and Snape remained nemeses till the end of their schooling, my father matured and became a loyal friend and a good person,” Harry concluded, looking specifically at his eldest son, for James seemed to be a little concerned.

“So what happened then? Did you have anymore visions?” Rose asked, wanting to know if her uncle’s discontinuation of Occlumency had severe consequences.  
“During my last OWL exam, I had another vision that Voldemort had captured Sirius and was torturing him for information. I saw the surrounding area and recognised it as a place inside the Department of Mysteries. Remembering the vision I had about Grandpa Weasley, I grabbed Ron and Hermione and told them I was going to the Ministry. Of course, Hermione thought it could have been a trap, so we contacted Sirius via the floo, but he wasn’t home, so naturally I assumed the worst. We were then caught by Umbridge who insisted that we tell her what we were doing. Umbridge thought we were trying to communicate with Dumbledore, who had been fired earlier in the year. She called Professor Snape and asked him to give her some veritaserum. Luckily Snape lied- did you lie?” Harry asked, not knowing if the man did lie or not for you can never tell with Snape.  
“Yes, I lied,” Snape said.  
“But before Professor Snape could leave the room I told him what I saw; that Padfoot was in the place where it was hidden. Of course, Umbridge had no idea what I was talking about, which was the point of course, and originally I thought Snape had no idea either, but like every other time in previous years, I was later proven wrong. Dumbledore informed me that Snape alerted the Order immediately and they devised a plan to prevent us from coming to any harm if we were to go to the Department of Mysteries. After getting rid of Umbridge, Hermione, Ron and I as well as Neville, Ginny and Luna went to the ministry.” Harry continued telling the story with a reasonable amount of input from Ron, Hermione and Ginny seeing as the group separated and Harry only knew what happened to the people who were with him. The children were amazed by all the things in the Department of Mysteries, especially the brains, which Ron loved reminiscing about, as well as the time room where Ginny enjoyed the look on the Death Eater’s face when he turned into a baby. However, when they began talking about the Death room with the veil, Harry let Hermione explain what happened because although it had been years since Sirius passed away, he still felt responsible that Sirius was killed; had Harry not been foolish enough to believe his visions, he wouldn’t have been there and Sirius would not have come after him. Of course, Harry realised that he didn’t know any better at the time and that most people would have done what he did, but he nevertheless felt responsible and told the children this much. Of course, the children supported Harry, reiterating what their parents had always said, ‘it wasn’t your fault’ and Harry appreciated their confidence. The adults and children discussed the Veil for a period, especially about the voices Harry could hear. But then Harry took over, explaining what happened between him and Bellatrix Lestrange and finally what occurred when Voldemort arrived. When Harry described the duel between Dumbledore and Voldemort, Harry could tell that the children would have liked nothing more than to have seen it for themselves. Harry emphasised the fact that it was an amazing showdown to witness and that both wizards seemed equally matched. Harry then put in the puzzler, thinking that Rose would like to work it out: “But one thing I will say that is very important is that when they were dueling, although Voldemort was aiming to kill Dumbledore, Dumbledore was not trying to kill Voldemort,” Harry said in a mysterious voice.  
“Why?” Hugo asked, thinking that if he were Dumbledore he would have tried to kill the darkest wizard of all time.  
“You’ll have to wait until we tell you about our sixth year, because that’s when we,” indicating his friends and wife, “found out.”  
Harry turned towards Snape and noticed that he also looked extremely interested in the conversation that was taking place. Now that Harry thought about it, Snape wouldn’t know about Voldemort’s Horcruxes and couldn’t wait to tell the children and Snape about it to see their reactions.  
Harry then reiterated what happened when the ministry officials saw Voldemort with their own eyes. James yelled: “Haha, sucked in you stupid people!” to which the adults laughed because they couldn’t agree more. Then Harry briefly repeated what happened between him and Dumbledore after the duel, describing his reaction to the fact their either he or Voldemort would die at the hand of the other and how he reacted to finding out about his connection with Voldemort and why the Dark Lord tricked him into believing Sirius was captured. He also explained why Dumbledore didn’t teach him Occlumency himself and why Voldemort was so interested in the Department of Mysteries and the prophecy it contained. Harry expressed that he was extremely angry and upset that Dumbledore hadn’t told him sooner and how, in that moment of anguish and despair, he would have given anything to be somebody else.  
When Harry finally arrived at the end of his narration of his fifth year, ending with his conversation with Nearly Headless Nick regarding ghosts, the children were eager for more; now that the ministry knew that Voldemort was back and that Voldemort was in the open, they knew the next year would be very exciting. However, Harry’s throat was feeling sore and dry and seeing as it was already two o’clock, he and the other adults agreed that it was time for a late lunch. There was much protest from the children, especially James who didn’t want to stop until he knew everything. But eventually, when the large dishes of a delicious lunch appeared on the table, the children seemed to forget the story momentarily to enjoy the meal. The adults decided that they should all eat together around the table and never before had Snape felt so uncomfortable; sitting in between Harry and Ron, he felt completely out of place. But he was hungry and consequently ate the delicious meal Ginny had prepared. Ron was surprised that Snape was eating at all; from past experience, he just assumed that Snape didn’t eat around others. Ron actually had his mouth hanging open, with some chewed up turkey inside completely shocked that Snape was eating, not just a little bit of food, but a LOT.  
“Why are you staring at me in that pathetic manner, Weasley?” Snape snapped, agitated that the person next to him couldn’t take his eyes of him.  
“You’re eating!” Ron said, still amazed.  
“I am hungry,” Snape sneered because he knew exactly why Ron was so surprised.  
“But you never eat,” Ron continued, still staring.  
“I have to eat, Weasley; I am human you know,” Snape stated, looking back at Ron. The children laughed at Snape’s remark. Ron went red and quickly began to stuff more food in his mouth.  
When everyone had finished eating and Ginny had the dishes cleaning themselves, the children were waiting in the living room to continue the story. However, the adults were still in the kitchen clearing the table.  
“Potter, I need ask something of you,” Snape whispered, not wanting the other adults to hear.  
“Sure, what is it?” Harry said a little louder than Snape had hoped and consequently attracted the attention of the other adults.  
“I know that the next two years the children will hear about involve me and I am asking if you could…” Snape looked around and felt extremely childish for asking this of the adults present, but it was important to him… for now anyway. “Do you think you could not tell the children what I did?”  
“What do you mean? We can’t exclude you from the entire story,” Harry answered, a little surprised.  
“No, but could you just tell them that Dumbledore was killed, but you don’t know who killed him and instead of telling them about every memory I gave you, could you just talk about my conversations with Dumbledore and not about Lily or my Patronus? I also do not want them knowing that I was the Half Blood Prince, if you desire to tell them that storyline, because I don’t want them to think I like the Dark Arts. And also-”  
“Hang on,” Ron interrupted. “You want us to lie and make you appear like the good guy?”  
“No,” Snape mumbled through gritted teeth, “I just don’t want them knowing every little bit of detail.”  
“And besides, Snape was a good guy in the end,” Hermione replied, annoyed at her husband for being so harsh to Snape after everything he had done.  
“Why don’t you want us to tell them, Professor Snape?” Ginny asked.  
Snape didn’t particularly want to answer that question for it seemed so stupid that he should care what five children think of him, but he really wanted them to like him, something their parents never did. Also, he didn’t think they would truly understand why he did the things he did; they are young and weren’t alive back then to know what the world was like. Of course, Snape realised he may be underestimating their capabilities, but for now, he would feel more comfortable if they didn’t know the whole story, especially his murder of Dumbledore.  
“Look, I don’t mean to be difficult, but I do not want them to hate me…” Snape said so quietly, only Harry and Ron could hear.  
“They’re not going to hate you,” Harry answered. “We’ll explain it to them and you’ll be here so you can tell them what it was like and why you did the things you did,” Harry tried to gently reason with the man.  
“Just for the moment, could you please keep it a secret from them?”  
“Why?” Ron asked, shocked that Snape would ask such a thing of them.  
“They are my students, in case you have forgotten and the last thing I want is for them to be talking about it around the school. I would prefer not to discuss my past in the middle of my classes. I am here, Potter invited me and I ask you for now to just keep it to yourselves,” Snape said through clenched teeth; anger, frustration and worry building up inside of him.  
Harry looked between the other adults and silently indicated that they would keep it a secret at least until Snape was ready to believe that the children were capable of keeping secrets and understanding the intentions behind Snape’s actions all those years ago.  
“Okay, we won’t tell them that you killed Dumbledore; that you were the Death Eater who told Voldemort about the prophecy, the form of your Patronus; your love for my mother and you being the Half Blood Prince who had a fascination with the Dark Arts. Is that agreed?” Harry looked between the other adults in the room and saw them nodding their heads.  
“Okay then, let’s continue,” Harry said becoming excited once again, but was simultaneously disappointed that he couldn’t tell his children what Snape did, because although Severus believed it would inhibit the respect the children had for him, Harry knew it would only increase their admiration. But if Snape wanted his love for Lily and his fascination with the Dark Arts to be kept private, then Harry would respect and honor that choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it through this massive chapter! Well done and thanks for reading! You may assume that the Potter and Weasley children now know everything Harry did at the end of his 5th year at Hogwarts (unless stated otherwise). I look forward to hearing your thoughts :)


	11. Spots that never come off

Now that everyone was full, having finished eating Ginny’s wonderful Christmas lunch, the children were even more eager- if that were possible- to find out more. Again, the adults resumed their seats, having only just agreed to omit a reasonable amount from their ‘tale’, but each of them did respect Snape’s wishes and had no intention of backing down from the deal.  
“Finally!” James said when the parents entered the living room once again. “You’re here! Tell us more!”  
“Okay, is everyone ready?” Harry asked looking around at the other children, each of whom nodded excitedly.  
So Harry continued telling them everything about his sixth year: Horace Slughorn, Draco’s suspicious mission and Snape’s appointment as the Defense against the Dark arts teacher. When Harry began to tell them about the old potions book he was using, Harry had to pause momentarily to think of what to say, knowing that he couldn’t reveal who actually owned it. Eventually he told the children:   
“Slughorn gave me an old potions book to use and I noticed it had scribbles on all the pages as the previous owner had tried to improve the potions. So I followed the hand written instructions and ended up making my potions even better than Hermione’s.” Hermione scowled at Harry and momentarily stared at Snape as if blaming him that she was not the top of potions that year. “It became clear to me that the person who previously owned the book was intelligent and well adept at potions. I looked on the cover for a name and saw that the book belonged to the Half Blood Prince.”  
“Ohhhh, did you find out who he was?” Rose asked, wanting to know who could possibly be more intelligent than her mother.  
Harry paused. “No, we never found out as there was no other evidence in the book that indicated who he could have been. But let me just say that although the Half Blood Prince was intelligent, he also seemed to have a nasty tendency towards the Dark Arts,” Harry said, realizing that he could make the Half Blood Prince sound mysterious and exciting seeing as his children would never know that the man was in fact sitting right next to them.  
“Why, what else did he write?” Albus asked, looking a little worried that this Half Blood Prince person may have caused his father more problems.  
“I’ll tell you a little later, because I want to talk about the private lessons I had with Dumbledore…” Harry said, wanting to side step the question until he arrived at the moment where he used Sectumsempra against Draco.   
So Harry spent an hour telling the children exactly what he saw in each of the memories Dumbledore showed him for he still remembered every detail almost perfectly. He even skipped ahead and told him that he retrieved the memory from Slughorn (without explaining exactly how he did it) and told them, finally, about Horcruxes. Harry thought the looks on the children’s faces were priceless, but the expression on Snape’s face was truly humorous.  
“He had six horcruxes? That’s… no wonder why he was so… inhuman,” Snape said quietly, talking more to himself than anyone else.  
“So that’s why Dumbledore wasn’t trying to kill him in the ministry and why he didn’t die when the killing curse back fired!” Rose exclaimed excitedly for the facts now made better sense.  
“That’s right, Rose, but now do you realise what we had to try and do?” Harry asked, trying to see how much his niece could guess at.  
“Well you’d have to find them wouldn’t you?” Rose asked, realizing just how big of a task that would have been.  
“Yes, that’s right.”  
“But you would have had Dumbledore to help you so that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?”  
The adults all looked at each other, realizing that they needed to explain more before they began to retell the night Dumbledore died.  
“Well, before we get to that, remember how I was telling you about Draco and how he was acting strangely? He wasn’t going to Quidditch matches and I could never find him on the Marauder’s Map and he seemed really ill and pale.” The children nodded in response. “Well I overheard him talking to Professor Snape one night, I heard Snape say that he made an Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy that he would protect Draco.”  
“Did you really make an Unbreakable Vow?” Rose asked, shocked that anyone would ever make such a vow.  
Snape nodded, not quite believing in retrospect that he did something so stupid. But as Snape always told himself, it was to maintain his cover as spy; it had to be done.  
“Wow,” Rose said.  
“What’s an Unbreakable vow?” James asked his cousin.  
“Well it is where you make a promise to someone and by doing a specific incantation and spell that person is bound to keep that promise and if they don’t, they’ll die.”  
“What! That’s crazy! So if Draco was hurt or killed, you would have died?” James asked looking wide eyed at Severus.  
“I suppose so,” Snape answered realizing that Draco did get hurt that year, but that due to him helping Draco recover, he did not die like one would have supposed.  
“When I heard this news, I could hardly believe it, because to me, that showed that Snape was protecting Draco, a Death Eater’s son while risking his own life and I felt that that showed Snape was definitely on Voldemort’s, as opposed to our, side. Of course, I was wrong because although Snape protected Draco, he also protected me later that year.”  
“What happened?” Lily asked, wanting to know more about this Draco character and about what happened at the end of the year.  
“The reason why Hermione especially thought the Half Blood Prince was dangerous was because he had also written some spells in the borders of his potions book annotated with words like: ‘for enemies’. I saw the name of one such spell and told myself that if I saw Draco doing something suspicious I would use it against him. However, I was extremely foolish and didn’t know what the spell actually did-“  
“Is this the Dark spell you used? The one you were talking about in your talk?” James asked, realizing the story sounded a little familiar.  
“Yes, I used the spell against Draco causing him great injury. I couldn’t believe what I had done for I never thought the Half Blood Prince would ever create something so terrible. I felt awful because even though I hated Draco, not even he deserved such injuries. He would still have the scars if Snape hadn’t arrived just in time,” Harry said looking at Snape for an answer.  
“What did the spell do to him? What happened?” Albus asked, looking worried.  
“The spell was like an invisible sword that slashed several times at the victim. Before I knew what was happening, Draco was covered in blood; long, thin lines were covering his entire body and I was sure he was going to die. But Snape arrived and healed Draco as best he could before taking him to the hospital wing.”  
“Did you punish Uncle Harry, Professor Snape?” Hugo asked the man.  
“Yes; he had detention with me every Saturday for the rest of term and lost several house points,” Snape replied remembering too well the moment he found Draco injured and then realised that at any moment, he may die for breaking the Unbreakable Vow he made with Narcissa.  
“What was the name of the spell?” Rose asked, extremely curious.  
“Rose!” Hermione exclaimed, surprised that her daughter would care to know any form of Dark magic, even if she had no intention of using it.  
“I was just interested to know, Mum,” Rose replied innocently, sensing her mother’s distress.  
“Well you wouldn’t have read about it in your books because from what Harry could conclude, the Half Blood Prince made it up himself,” Hermione answered, refusing to give her daughter the name of the spell.  
Realising that her continued enquiries were fruitless, Rose gave up asking.  
“So Draco was still up to something, but we didn’t know what and Dumbledore told me, since finding out about the Horcruxes that I could come with him to destroy the next one.”  
“Awesome!” James exclaimed.  
Harry nodded in response, whilst knowing full well that in fact the occasion wasn’t ‘awesome’ at all.  
“So had any of the Horcruxes already been destroyed? You told us that the Cup, Locket, something of Ravenclaw’s and Nagini would likely be options as well as Voldemort himself, but what were the others?” Rose asked, for she enjoyed solving problems like these.  
“Well, do you remember the diary Ginny found in her first year?”  
“Yes!” All of the children exclaimed simultaneously.  
“Well that was one of the Horcruxes,” Harry said with a smile on his face, as he watched how excited the children were.  
“So you destroyed one, Daddy? That’s really cool!” Lily said.  
“Yeah and do you remember me telling you that Dumbledore’s hand was black and shriveled when he arrived at the Dursley’s?” Again the children nodded excitedly.  
“Well that injury was caused by a curse that was placed on another one of Voldemort’s Horcruxes. So Dumbledore had destroyed one too. And towards the end of the school year, Dumbledore invited me to come with him to find and destroy a third.”  
The children gasped, realizing how both dangerous and thrilling that experience would have been.  
“I was really excited about going, but slightly mad at Dumbledore because on my way to his office, I was sure I heard Draco celebrating and I knew that whatever Draco’s mission was it seemed like he had finally accomplished it. But despite this, Dumbledore still insisted that we go.” Now the children looked scared and worried, but Harry continued, thinking that there was no point in stalling.  
“So Dumbledore took me to a cave- the one that Voldemort went to with other children from the orphanage. Dumbledore and I swam in the water to get to the heart of the cave and once we got there, Dumbledore spent a while looking for where the entrance was. It was amazing the way he found it and although he didn’t explain it fully, he said he could detect magical concealment and consequently knew where the entrance was. We were required to give a blood donation for it to open,” Lily cringed at the image. “And then the entrance revealed itself. The sight before us was pretty amazing. There was a black lake that looked completely still and a small Island in the middle with a basin filled with a green potion. Dumbledore was sure that the Horcrux was in the middle but we had no way of getting over there. Dumbledore eventually found a concealed boat and together we sailed over the lake. After Dumbledore did several tests on the potion, he concluded that the only way to get rid of it, to get to Slytherin’s locket that was inside, was to drink it-“  
“No!” Rose exclaimed, “That would be extremely dangerous!”  
“What happened? Did you drink it?” Albus asked, both curious and a little frightened.  
“No; Dumbledore wouldn’t allow me to drink it. He instead made me promise that if, for whatever reason, he was unable to continue drinking the potion that I would force him to drink it.”  
“Oh no!” Lily moaned, realizing that the consequences of their journey could not have been good.  
“Well, after taking his first drink, Dumbledore started having visions of what I later discovered were of his family. I found out the following year that Dumbledore’s sister was killed many years previously and that Dumbledore himself felt personally responsible. I am reasonably sure that that grief and guilt was what Dumbledore was experiencing when he was drinking the potion. Then following the vision he had, he would ask me to kill him, saying that he wanted to die and yet I forced myself to keep feeding him the potion just like I promised I would. It was probably one of the most terrible moments of my life because for all I knew, the potion could be killing him. Eventually, after much protesting and yelling from Dumbledore, his words tearing my heart out every time, he managed to drink it all. He was then very thirsty but no other method of procuring water worked unless I dipped the goblet into the lake. When this happened, the water started to stir,” the children were listening even more intently now “and soon Dumbledore and I were surrounded by Inferi.”  
“Aren’t they dead bodies that are controlled by Dark magic?” Hugo asked fearfully for he couldn’t believe his uncle managed to survive even seeing them; he would have died from shock.  
“Yes, they were, but luckily for me, Dumbledore was still strong enough to produce fire which warded off the Inferi. Dumbledore was extremely weak from the potion and so I used all of my energy and determination to Apparate back to Hogsmede.”  
“You Apparated without having passed your test? That’s very impressive, Uncle Harry,” Rose asserted.  
“Thank you, Rose. I could hardly believe it myself. Anyway, when we got back to Hogsmede, we noticed the Dark Mark over Hogwarts castle.”  
The children gasped, but kept quiet for they wanted Harry to continue without interruption.  
“So Dumbledore and I flew back on broomsticks to see what had happened. We landed on the Astronomy tower and Dumbledore ordered me to get-” Harry stopped suddenly realizing he was going to say ‘Snape’. But then changed his wording: “to get help.” So I walked towards the door with my invisibility cloak on but then Dumbledore used a freezing charm on me when he heard footsteps. I was frozen to the spot- there was nothing I could do. The person who was walking up the stairs entered the rooftop and used Expelliarmus against Dumbledore, who lost his wand over the battlements.  
“Who was it?” Hugo asked. “Was it a Death Eater?”  
“Mmm, it was Draco.” The reaction was immediate as all of the children realised what Draco’s mission must have been.  
“Was he going to kill Dumbledore?” Lily asked, with tears in her eyes.  
“He and Dumbledore spoke for a few minutes when all I could do was stand there and listen. And yes, Draco’s mission was to kill Dumbledore, but Voldemort didn’t genuinely believe Draco could do it and I don’t think Draco believed he could either. Dumbledore tried to convince Draco that he was not a killer and that there were other options. Pretty soon, however more Death Eaters showed up and I was horrified as I saw Dumbledore slowly become weaker and weaker. I knew that without his wand, Dumbledore was defenseless and that any one of the Death Eaters standing before him would have killed him themselves had Voldemort not ordered Draco to do it.” Harry paused momentarily for he thought of the perfect way for Dumbledore to ‘die’ seeing as he couldn’t tell the truth.  
“But Dumbledore died before any of them attacked; the potion killed him.” Harry looked around at the adults and children. While the adults were surprised by the story Harry happened to think of, the children seemed to be mourning for Dumbledore and the loss Harry and the rest of the wizarding world must have felt when the greatest wizard of all time passed away. Harry decided to continue when he realised no one was going to speak.  
“The Death Eaters took Draco and ran away from the scene after they made sure that Dumbledore was dead. I was freed from the binding curse and ran up to Dumbledore; I couldn’t believe he was dead; that potion killed him- I was the one who forced him to drink it and I felt so terrible, I cannot even describe it to you. Then I looked at the locket Horcrux we collected, I realised that it was fake; it wasn’t evem Slytherin’s locket-”  
“What? So it was all for nothing? Dumbledore died for no reason?” Albus asked outraged.  
Harry nodded. “But the locket gave us a clue to where the real one may be because I found a note stored within the locket that was signed RAB. At the time however, I was so traumatized by Dumbledore’s death that I didn’t care. If we had only known that beforehand, Dumbledore would never have drunk the potion and then he wouldn’t have died. I felt so hopeless because without Dumbledore I couldn’t see how I- we were going to defeat Voldemort. I felt so lost without him. After mourning for a few moments, I forced myself to get up and enter the battle to release my anger. So I started running around the castle trying to find Ron, Hermione and Ginny for a battle had broken out. When I saw Snape, I became even angrier because he was protecting Draco, supporting the Dark Lord and his plan to kill Dumbledore. In my anger, I failed to realise that Snape was still protecting me, however subtly. He told the Death Eaters not to harm me because it was Voldemort’s orders not to hurt me in anyway. Snape fled the school and I was still so blinded by my anger and grief that I didn’t realise until late the following year that he was in fact protecting me all along.”  
Harry looked towards Snape, hoping the man liked the way he took the story, making him still sound like a good guy whilst making it clear that Snape was still spying on Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Harry couldn’t really read Snape’s expression, but thought that he looked somewhat grateful. Harry pulled his gaze away when James asked: “So with Dumbledore gone, how did you manage to defeat Voldemort? Did you find the other Horcruxes?”   
Harry realised his son was extremely excited to find out more so he began once again telling the huge and evermore complicated events that happened the first year he left Hogwarts. The children found it particularly amusing when Harry told them about the seven Harrys, but soon were on the edge of their seats (or cushions as it were) when he told them about the many Death Eaters that surrounded them the moment they left the Dursleys’. Harry told them in detail about what happened with him and Hagrid, a pang in his heart erupted when he spoke of Hedwig, the first casualty of the flight from the Dursleys’. He of course included in detail what happened when Voldemort appeared beside him and the strange thing that happened with his wand. The children were amazed and couldn’t believe that Harry had again escaped Voldemort when he was so close to him. Ron and Hermione then told the children and Snape what happened to them in similar detail. Harry had the feeling that Ron was exaggerating slightly because he doubted Ron managed to shoot a stunning spell directly in Rudolphus Lestrange’s eye, but still the story was extremely exciting for the children. They then talked about what happened when they arrived at their safe houses, not knowing who was alive or if anyone was injured. Ginny then described how nervous she and her mother were as they waited impatiently for them to arrive at the Burrow. The children were now so anxious to know who survived, it was as if they were in the moment themselves. Ginny then spoke about George and how he arrived with Lupin without one of his ears. The children already knew that their uncle lost his ear during that flight but nevertheless became absorbed with the way in which George acted and how Fred reacted to his twin’s pathetic ‘holey’ jokes. Harry went on to discuss how the adults, especially Lupin and Kingsley reacted when they arrived at the Burrow and Harry emphasised that no one except the Order knew they were leaving that night, so they were antagonizing and questioning everyone to detect an imposter or betrayer. The children had no idea who would have possibly betrayed them and felt Harry was right in saying that he trusted everyone in the Order and that no one would purposefully put his life or anyone else’s in danger. Hermione continued, saying that there was one casualty and the children were shocked that it was Mad-Eye who died that night.   
“Do you know who cut off Uncle George’s ear?” James asked, curiously “because Uncle George told me it couldn’t be healed because it was Dark magic.” James continued to look between the adults and eventually the other children joined in. No one wanted to answer, realizing that Snape probably wouldn’t want them to know about it, but Harry thought that his children couldn’t think Snape was a perfect individual and consequently answered: “We know who did it, but it was an accident and I am sure George has forgiven him.”  
“Who was it?” Albus asked. “Was it a Death Eater?”  
“It was me,” Snape replied quietly, causing everyone to turn towards him.  
“What!?” The children replied for that was the last answer they were expecting. In fact, Snape was surprised George hadn’t mentioned him to his nieces and nephews; he was sure George would have wasted no time telling them all about Snape and the Sectumsempra curse. Apparently, Snape was mistaken and he concluded that perhaps George had moved on from his injury by the time the children were born and consequently didn’t feel the need to elaborate.  
“As Potter said, it was an accident. Now that Dumbledore was dead, the Dark Lord felt more comfortable battling out in the open. So, he ordered all of his Death Eaters and me as one of his followers to Little Whinging to kill as many people as we could. Of course, I did not wish to kill anyone, so I simply cast curses so that they wouldn’t hit anyone on either side. A Death Eater flying in front of me was aiming for George and was very close to him- he couldn’t miss. Knowing that he was going to use the killing curse, I aimed for the Death Eater’s arm, hoping to sever it off. But it’s very hard to be accurate when flying and I missed and regrettably cut off George’s ear instead.”  
The children remained frozen; although they believed Snape’s assertions, they couldn’t believe that after George telling them about it and after seeing the gaping hole every time they met, that it was Snape’s doing, even if he did have good intentions.  
Harry continued so that hopefully the children would understand the situation a bit clearer.  
“At the time that George was injured, all of us thought that Snape was a true Death Eater because he fled with them the year before and was fighting against us. We didn’t know his intentions and therefore believed him to be as bad as any other Death Eater, but this assumption was wrong.”  
The children seemed to relax a bit more now and didn’t seem so repulsed by Snape, but they still eyed him every now and then. It was, after all his first serious offence in their eyes and consequently it wasn’t easy for them to accept it within a few short minutes.  
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny told the children about Bill and Fleur’s wedding, meeting Luna’s father and Kingsley’s Lynx which arrived informing them that the Death Eaters had taken over the ministry and that they were coming to the wedding. Ron, Hermione and Harry told the children how they fled to a nearby muggle area and Hermione’s amazing bag that held all of their things. They then started to elaborate on their journey around various areas trying to think of where the remaining Horcruxes may be hidden.  
“So how did you find them? It must have been close to impossible; he could have hid them anywhere,” Rose asserted, because although Uncle Harry had seen the important memories Dumbledore showed him, there were still so many places he could hide them.  
Harry continued telling the children about going to Grimmauld Place, discovering who RAB was and the conversation they had with Kreacher. Lily was traumatized by it; so shocked that Kreacher was forced to do something so terrible and that Voldemort truly treated the house elf like an unfeeling animal. Hermione was particularly passionate about the whole ordeal and told the children how they managed to track down the locket. The children couldn’t believe that Umbridge had it all that time and were amazed by the creative skills needed for them to get into the ministry and steal it from her. Rose thought it was ingenious and James thought it was a great adventure, but the other three kids thought it must have been a terrifying experience now that the Death Eaters had taken over the ministry. Harry, Ron and Hermione then described their own experiences with the locket, reflecting on how it affected their mood and behaviour, and how there was no doubt that it was a Horcrux; at times it seemed to have a mind of its own. Ron then elaborated on his experience, telling the children that he left Harry and Hermione because he was so angry and frustrated by the situation. The children seemed annoyed at Ron for doing such a thing, but Ron attempted to explain that he wanted to come back almost immediately after he left and spent day after day trying to track them down with help from the deluminator Dumbledore gave him. When Harry further enforced that Ron saved his life after he jumped into the icy cold lake with the Horcrux around his neck, the children forgave him immediately and realised that Ron was loyal, but a little afraid perhaps. Ron refrained from telling the children exactly what he saw when he went to destroy the Horcrux with the sword because although he thought the children would think it lovely, he didn’t particularly wish to give Snape the satisfaction of knowing his worst fear. Harry didn’t mention the doe Patronus having remembered that Snape didn’t want them to discuss it. Instead, he pretended that he happened to be walking past the lake when he saw the sword at the bottom of it. Of course, they explained why the sword was so important to their goal and how it could possibly be there when it was supposed to be locked away at Hogwarts.  
Harry then recalled the very vivid visions he had regarding Voldemort: his feelings and exactly what he was doing at any particular moment. The children began to realise that Harry really did have a very powerful connection to the Dark Lord; being able to see the actions of another person in both the past and present is not normal and according to Rose, completely impossible. Of course, Hermione explained what happened at Godric’s Hollow and although they never strictly said it, Harry had the impression that the children would never want to go to the village again. Of course, the Deathly Hallows were mentioned once again and the children were particularly interested in what the objects really did and where they were now. Harry continued telling the lie he told at Hogwarts, stating that the wand and the stone were destroyed by him on Dumbledore’s request from his portrait in the Headmaster’s office, but that he still had his invisibility cloak. The children were absolutely amazed that the cloak actually existed and that it was rightfully Harry’s. They begged Harry to bring out the cloak and the five of them played with it, taking it in turns for over half an hour. Eventually, however they lost interest and wanted to know more about the Horcruxes they had yet to destroy. Hermione told them about the snatchers and Voldemort’s name being cursed, and what happened when they were captured and taken to the Malfoy manor. She described how Harry very cleverly deduced that a Horcrux was likely in Bellatrix’s vault because of the way she reacted to them finding the Sword of Gryffindor. After describing the strange death of Pettigrew (an occasion the children cheered about), their escape and the torture Hermione went through at the Malfoy Manor, as well as carefully detailing the wrestle Harry underwent with Draco, Hermione concluded this section of the tale when Dobby had safely Apparated them to Shell Cottage. Then Harry informed the children that Dobby was killed to which all the children groaned and momentarily mourned for the loss of the house elf.  
Hermione then told them how they broke into Gringotts by using Polyjuice potion, the invisibility cloak and Harry’s effective use of Imperio. After gathering a better understanding of the circumstances, the children seemed content with the reasons for Harry’s use of the Unforgivable Curse, even if it is illegal. Ron had fun describing how they managed to escape from Gringotts on the back of a dragon but still seemed annoyed that they were tricked by Griphook with regard to Gryffindor’s sword. Then Harry told them about the very vivid image he had of Voldemort looking for all of his Horcruxes and the reaction he gave, the anger and worry he felt when he realised some of them were missing. Harry told the children that it was a race against time to find the last Horcrux before Voldemort got there first. It was thanks to his visions, he told the children, that he knew the final Horcrux was at Hogwarts, so together he, Hermione and Ron went to Hogsmede, where they met Aberforth Dumbledore and they spoke briefly about Dumbledore and his relationship with his brother, sister and Grindelwald. The children were horrified that Dumbledore actually befriended Grindelwald in the first place and never thought Dumbledore could possibly have any faults. However, Harry asserted that Dumbledore was only trying to make the world a better place and when he grew older and wiser, Dumbledore realised it was best that he didn’t obtain the power that came with combining the Deathly Hallows. The children respected Dumbledore for this choice, but couldn’t believe that Harry didn’t take the opportunity to join the three objects for they would have loved to know what would have happened if one were the master of Death. But knowing that two of the objects were already destroyed, none of the children considered the possibility that they could one day attempt to combine the Deathly Hallows.   
Harry then continued, describing how they entered Hogwarts castle, who was there to meet them and how he managed to track down Ravenclaw’s Diadem. Rose, Albus and James had all seen the Grey Lady and the Bloody Baron and could hardly believe Harry when he told them about the history between the two ghosts. Rose was especially interested that the Grey Lady was Rowena’s daughter. Harry then told the children that Alecto and Amycus were teachers at Hogwarts because Voldemort had also taken over the school, but refrained from telling them that Snape was the Headmaster because he thought that at least Rose would work out that Snape was one of the people after whom Albus was named. He then reinforced the fact that Alecto and Amycus were there the night Dumbledore died and that Greyback, the werewolf and one of the snatchers was also there to witness Dumbledore’s death. Harry then described the circumstances in which he used Crucio on Alecto and the children actually cheered because they now understood Harry’s reasoning for using the spell, unlike a few months ago when he told them during his talk.  
Of course, the children then wanted to know how they destroyed the diadem and cup and Ron told them how he and Hermione went to the chamber of secrets to destroy the cup with the basilisk’s fang. Harry then went on to describe the ordeal that occurred within the Room of Requirement and how Crabbe’s fiendfyre destroyed the Horcrux and would have killed Goyle and Draco had Ron and Harry not saved them. The children were surprised that Ron and Harry risked their lives for people they always hated and Ron blatantly agreed with them stating that he very reluctantly helped Harry rescue them for he didn’t care if all three of them died. Harry expressed that he had no regrets that Crabbe died and the children seemed to agree; he was trying to kill them after all.  
“So now we only had two Horcruxes left, or so I thought…” Harry said, realizing that this would probably be the most surprising information the children would learn that day.  
“What do you mean, Dad? Was there another Horcrux?” Albus asked, worried.  
“Yes, but it was only thanks to Professor Snape that I found out about it.”  
The children looked towards Snape, interested to know how the man found out about a Horcrux that not even Dumbledore told Harry about.  
“Before he died, I promised Dumbledore I would tell Potter the most important information when the right moment presented itself. That night, I realised that time was running out and that Potter needed to know the information before he went after Nagini and the Dark Lord. So I found Potter and told him what I needed to say, though at first he did not believe me,” Snape said staring at Harry, indicating that he should explain. Harry was surprised that the children didn’t ask why Harry did believe Snape after he thought Snape cursed George’s ear off, but didn’t want to bring up the memories he saw in the pensieve seeing as all the interesting things he discovered about Snape that night he wouldn’t be able to say anyway.  
“So, Snape caught me and I was certain he was going to bring me to Voldemort. I made the assumption that Snape was indeed on Voldemort’s side. Contrary to my beliefs however, Snape informed me that he was not going to take me to Voldemort like he was ordered to, but was going to return without me-”  
“Wouldn’t Voldemort have tortured you for that?” James asked.   
Snape nodded and was surprisingly greeted with admiration from the children who stated he was brave. Snape couldn’t help but smile slightly; grateful that they seemed to appreciate his actions.   
“When I finally accepted that Snape must be on my side, I allowed him to tell me that…” Harry continued, taking a deep breath. “The night Voldemort tried to kill me and the Avada Kedavra curse backfired, a bit of Voldemort’s soul broke off from the whole and connected itself to me-”  
Instantly there was an outbreak of gasps from each of the children and Rose asked: “So you were sort of like a Horcrux?” She asked her eyes wide with worry.  
“Yes, and Snape explained that Voldemort couldn’t die until that piece of Voldemort’s soul was destroyed-”  
“So basically you had to be killed first and then someone else would have to kill Voldemort?” James asked, not sure if he fully understood the situation.  
“Yes or that’s at least what I and Snape thought at the time, but obviously we were not entirely correct.”  
“What happened?” Hugo asked in wonder.  
Harry then went on to explain what happened in the forest and at King’s cross where he spoke with Dumbledore and saw the last part of Voldemort’s soul. The children could hardly believe Harry survived another Avada Kedavra curse and honestly had no idea how he survived it. Although Harry was still speculative about it himself, he did state that because Voldemort had his blood, he was keeping his mother’s sacrifice alive and therefore protecting Harry from death by Voldemort’s hand.   
“So when I returned back to consciousness, Voldemort ordered Narcissa Malfoy to check my pulse. I knew she could feel my heart beating but instead of telling the Dark Lord I was still alive, she asked me if Draco was alive. I told her he was and to my surprise she lied straight to Voldemort’s face, insisting that I was dead. I couldn’t believe it, but was delighted because I would be able to catch Voldemort off guard. When I eventually got into the open, Hagrid was ordered to carry me and laid me on the ground. Voldemort then began preaching to those at Hogwarts about how I had selfishly tried to save myself and that he was now the victor. Neville was there and despite thinking that I was dead, he was the one who killed Nagini, much to Voldemort’s horror. I then disappeared under my Invisibility Cloak and I think it was then that Voldemort became worried that he may actually be defeated this time. We had the final showdown in the Entrance Hall…” and Harry regurgitated the conversation that took place between him and Voldemort. He then went on to explain in more detail about the Elder Wand and how he became the master of it, elaborating more fully on the talk he gave at Hogwarts. The children couldn’t believe the way in which Harry defeated Voldemort and they even laughed a little at the irony that Voldemort ultimately killed himself. But when Harry got to the part where he found out Snape was dead, however, he felt a special need to emphasise this point for it would provide the children with the answer as to why he and his friends were so surprised to see their old Professor.  
“But when I told Voldemort that Snape was not truly loyal to him and was only pretending to be a Death Eater on Dumbledore’s orders, Voldemort informed me that he killed Snape-”  
As if by some strange phenomenon, five pairs of eyes looked towards Snape as if demanding answers; they never met Voldemort but were pretty sure that if Voldemort said he killed someone then surely that’s what he did?  
“Which is why,” Harry continued, “I was so surprised when I saw Snape at Hogwarts that day because for the last nineteen years, I thought he was dead,” Harry explained, extremely amused by the expression on the children’s faces.  
“Nineteen years!” James exclaimed. “How come you never saw Professor Snape, Dad?” James asked, finding it hard to believe that Snape could have existed without Harry or anyone else never seeing him.  
“After the Dark Lord told Potter I was dead and assuming that Potter told the entire wizarding world as such, I thought it would not be appropriate for me to show myself in the wizarding world except on rare occasions. After being involved with the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters, I did not want to be sent to Azkaban. Consequently, I stayed hidden.”  
“But that’s such a long time. Didn’t you get lonely?” Lily asked.  
Snape paused, considering the question. The truth was that he did get lonely, but at the time he told himself that it was worth it because he’d rather that then face Harry, his anger and his eyes…. Of course Snape wasn’t about to tell Lily this, so he answered: “I did feel lonely at times, but I do enjoy being by myself most of the time, so it did not bother me as much as you would think.”  
“How did you survive, Professor Snape?” Albus asked, completely amazed that Snape wasn’t killed for failing to bring his father back to Voldemort nineteen years ago.  
“I suspected that the Dark Lord would kill me for not bringing Potter back to him and Dumbledore’s portrait suggested that Voldemort would order Nagini to kill me rather than him spending the time to do it himself. So I took some blood replenishing potions and anti-venom with me just incase Dumbledore was right. The Dark Lord used the Cruciatus curse against me several times and eventually, when he saw Potter walking into the forest, he left Nagini to finish me off. She only had the chance to bite me once, however, before the Dark Lord summoned her to him. Consequently the Dark Lord did not know that I was still alive and with Nagini gone, I was able to slow down the bleeding and swallow the potions. I was, however very weak and collapsed on the grass outside the Whomping Willow where I was found by Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy-”  
“Did they turn you in?” Hugo asked, wide-eyed.  
“No, as a matter of fact, they did not. Instead, Narcissa convinced her husband to take me back to their manor and when we eventually arrived there, their house elf attended to me. It was only five days after the Dark Lord’s downfall that I was well enough to leave the Malfoy Manor and by then I thought it would too strange to enter the wizarding world again. I told the Malfoys to keep my existence a secret and it was not until Lucius confronted me a year ago that I considered coming back into the wizarding world as a teacher at Hogwarts again.” Snape finished speaking and couldn’t help but smirk a little at the expression on the children’s faces for they seemed completely bamboozled by his story, not quite believing that a wizard could last two days away from the wizarding world let alone nineteen years.  
“So- so prior to the huge battle, what were you doing all year, Professor Snape?” Lily asked a little nervously.  
“I was at Hogwarts; the Dark Lord gave me the position of Headmaster for be believed I was an extremely faithful servant. I spent most of my time talking to Dumbledore’s portrait and trying to help the Order whenever I could for none of them trusted me. I was very restricted in what I could do to assist, but mostly I kept up appearances and pretended to support the new rules the Dark Lord was putting in place.”  
“Wow, it must have been so strange being Headmaster when you had both Death Eaters and Order members as members of staff,” Rose asserted.  
“Well I must admit I strongly disliked the way Professor McGonagall would always look at me, for she believed, like all of the teachers that I was loyal to the Dark Lord otherwise I would not be the Headmaster? But because I knew which side I was truly on, it became burdening that they did not know who I truly was…”  
“Couldn’t you have just told them?” Albus asked, realizing how much it would pain him if his colleagues believed him to be someone he wasn’t.  
“No, because if Alecto, Amycus or the Dark Lord found out I would have been killed and then no one would have contact with Dumbledore’s portrait for the Dark Lord would promote a different Head who would not have heeded Dumbledore’s advice like I did,” Snape explained to Albus, who nodded in reply.  
Harry was listening to the conversation and realizing that their story was practically finished, he was surprised that Albus hadn’t yet asked who he was named after. Eventually, Harry couldn’t take it anymore and had to at least approach the topic; he was extremely anxious to see how Albus would react.  
“Al, I am surprised at you; I would have thought you would have been pestering your mother and I to tell you who Albus and Severus are,” Harry said smiling at his son. Albus sat there and by the look on his face, it seemed like he only just realised how strange it was that he hadn’t asked.  
“The story was so exciting I hardly thought about it!” Albus replied, smiling too.  
“So who are Albus and Severus?” he asked staring between his mother and father.  
Harry nudged Ginny, indicating that she should reveal who Albus is.  
“Well Al, you have probably gathered who Albus is; your father has given you enough clues, I think,” Ginny said glancing briefly at her husband.  
“Like what? What has he said?”  
“That you were named after Headmasters of Hogwarts,” Ginny replied, hoping that the realization would eventually fall on her son. Sure enough, Albus’ face lit up and he looked at his parents; he could hardly believe it.  
“Dumbledore?” He asked smiling so broadly Harry laughed.  
Ginny nodded, smiling; she was glad her son approved of the name she and Harry had given him.  
“So who was Severus, then?” Albus asked, realizing that he had no idea who the man would be because his parents had always implied that both Albus and Severus were dead.  
“Severus is…” Harry paused to look at Snape and realised the man looked pale and strangely still as if he were embracing himself for what was about to occur.  
“Severus is sitting next to me,” Harry stated, hoping against all hope that despite the seemingly terrible things Snape had done in the past, that Albus would also feel honoured to be named after Snape, because if he weren’t, Harry shuddered to think how Al would react if he ever found out the whole truth.  
Albus’ jaw fell open. He couldn’t help it. But not only was Al in shock but so were his siblings and cousins. Rose had no problem guessing who Albus was, for she had read about Dumbledore in several books, but did not want to spoil her aunt and uncle’s surprise by telling Al, so she kept it a secret. But as to Professor Snape being Severus, this fact completely surprised her. James was also a little disturbed because he had seen the way Snape acted towards his father when they met at Hogwarts that day, and also how he treated students and even though he wasn’t that bad, he seemed like an unpleasant person. Albus continued to look at the man after whom he was named and couldn’t believe that Severus was still alive for he accepted long ago that he would never meet the men after whom he was named. But now that Severus was sitting before him, he couldn’t help but be happy that he would at least have the opportunity to get to know the man.  
“Wow,” was all Albus could say in response and Snape didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing, but continued to sit idly waiting for something to happen.  
Eventually Albus asked his father: “So when you told me that one of the men I was named after was in Slytherin and probably the bravest man you ever knew, were you talking about Professor Snape?” Al could hardly believe he could now put a face to that person.  
Harry nodded, glad that his son seemed to agree that Snape was indeed very brave.  
“Perhaps being in Slytherin would not have been so bad after all,” Albus whispered to himself, but still loud enough for everyone else to hear. A loud silence occurred after this statement and Snape couldn’t quite believe what he had just heard. He honestly never expected Albus to react so positively towards him and what he had done. Severus began to wonder if these children really were capable of understanding the entire truth, but then decided against it; he would rather things remain the way they are; he didn’t want to risk his reputation among the children.  
Harry decided to break the silence because he could see that Snape was feeling uncomfortable; the scrutiny of the children’s gazes were slightly disturbing.

“When your mother and I named you Albus, we thought Severus was dead and never did we think you would get the chance to meet him, let alone be taught by him, so we hope this isn’t too huge of a shock for you-”  
“No, it’s great Mum- Dad,” Albus replied, pulling his eyes away from Severus’. Then, facing his parents he continued: “Thanks for naming me after such awesome people,” Albus stated, excited that finally he understood what his name meant to his parents and especially his father. He was more than happy that he was named after Severus, who according to his parents was a good person who had honorable intentions even if he wasn’t very nice and always put students on detention.  
Snape was relieved that Albus didn’t seem to be disgusted that he was named after him, and became much more relaxed in his chair. Ron decided that it was probably time to have dinner because it was almost seven o’clock, but before they ate, he wanted to know what the children thought about the story.  
“So what did you five think about our story?” Ron asked.  
“I thought it was amazing! It would have been so awesome to ride on a dragon or see Merpeople or ride on a Thestral,” James exclaimed, a little jealous that he would probably never get that opportunity and if he did, he didn’t think he would survive it like his parents, uncle and aunt did.  
“What did you think, Albus?” Hermione asked, smiling because Al seemed to be very pleased that he was named after Albus and Severus.  
“I thought it was also really cool, though perhaps a little scary… I thought you were all so brave, I couldn’t have done what you did,” Albus said in awe.  
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Al. If you were in the situation we were in, I am sure you would have stepped up to the task like a true Gryffindor,” Harry asserted. Al beamed at his father, hoping that would have in fact been the case.  
“Hugo, what did you think?” Ginny asked her nephew who had been pretty quiet for the last few minutes.  
“I think it was a huge adventure and I just can’t believe Uncle Harry and all of you actually helped defeat Voldemort. I feel like I know famous people,” Hugo asserted, still thoroughly amazed that the story he just heard actually happened.  
Lily then spoke, thinking she would give her opinion: “Well I am just so happy you all survived it. So many people died, like Uncle Fred, Mad-Eye Moody and Teddy’s parents that I’m just so amazed you managed to defeat Voldemort and survive to tell us about it. I loved the story, even if it was a little scary,” Lily admitted and Harry scooped her up and sat her on his lap.  
“What do you have to say about all of this, Rose? I think your mother has been giving you some books to read,” Harry said, looking at Hermione, who blushed a little.  
“Well I thought it was a really interesting story, but I still wish we knew who the Half Blood Prince was; he sounds like he was really intelligent- I mean it wouldn’t be easy to create your own potions and spells, would it? As long as he didn’t use dark magic against me I’d like to meet him and talk to him,” Rose asserted bravely, knowing that her parents would likely not approve of her sudden fascination with such a dangerous character.  
“Yes, it is a shame we couldn’t work it out,” Hermione answered seriously, maintaining the cover the adults promise they would keep. It seems that all the adults were watching Hermione intently, making sure she did not break their promise. Everyone, that is, except Ron who was becoming impatient with a piece of cotton fraying from his robes; it kept tickling his leg and it was driving him crazy.  
“Are you sure you don’t have any idea who he is?” Rose pressed on, not quite believing her mother had no idea whatsoever.  
“Yeah, it was Snape,” Ron said without thinking for he was becoming evermore frustrated with a portion of his robes that were fraying. He couldn’t reach his wand which was sitting on the kitchen table so began pulling on it. In all the cottoned mess and frustration he answered without thinking and realised too late that what he said was wrong.  
Everyone in the room froze and Ron was slowly turning green because he could see Snape’s face directly opposite him and never before had he seen Snape so angry and that’s saying something.  
Rose’s immediate reaction was “wow” for she didn’t genuinely believe she would get to see, let alone meet and talk to the Half Blood Prince. If the situation wasn’t so serious and worrisome, she would have asked Snape about the other spells he created. But after her original outburst, she remained silent and began to realise the implications that arose due to this new revelation her father had accidently revealed.  
After what felt like years of silence, Albus asked in disbelief:   
“You are the Half Blood Prince?” And Harry noticed his youngest son seemed deterred by this new piece of information.  
“So you created those dark curses?” James asked, wondering what else the adults had hidden from them with regard to Snape.  
Apparently thinking the same way as her cousin, Rose asked:  
“Didn’t you tell us everything that Professor Snape did?” staring at her parents as if accusing them of not telling the whole truth.  
“Weasley!” Snape yelled as he stood up; this was not how he wanted the night to end; everything was going smoothly until Ron momentarily forgot their deal.  
“Sorry, Snape,” Ron replied cowering under the gaze of the man before him. Though if Ron were completely honest with himself, he wasn’t too sorry for betraying Snape’s trust; Ron never fully forgave Snape for everything he did to his friends and felt that even though he was ultimately on the side of good, he would never forgive Snape for being a slimy git.  
Snape quickly withdrew his wand, intending to ward off Harry if the man tried to stop him from leaving. The moment Harry saw the wand; he stood up too, even though he knew Snape had no intention of hurting any of those present.   
“Snape, calm down, we’ll explain it to them- they’ll under-”  
“You know they won’t, they’re just like you when you were their age. You believed that I was obsessed with the Dark Arts and that my ruthless actions meant I was a terrible person and may be I am, but do not stand there and try to convince me that they will understand what you understand! They are children and until they realise that there is more to a person than their actions, trying to convince them otherwise is pointless!”  
“But if we just explained to them-”  
“Please Professor Snape, I want to hear what you have to say-” Albus interrupted.  
“Speak for yourself, Al,” James butt in. “He experimented with the Dark Arts; he may have been a true Death Eater after all. Maybe he lied to you,” James announced, looking at his father.  
“James!” Ginny exclaimed; shocked that her son would ever say such a thing; that was not the way she and Harry raised their children.  
“But Mum, he could have been a Death Eater; he could have lied to you. He can do Occlumency, right?” James pressed on, trying to make his point.  
“Professor Snape was not a Death Eater,” Harry said, realizing that this was all going terribly wrong.  
“But if you knew Professor Snape liked the Dark Arts, why did you name Al after him?’ James accused his father.  
“James!” Ginny exclaimed again and if Snape wasn’t holding a wand in her living room she would have dragged James away from the situation and scowled him in private.  
“One day you will realise, James, that there is more to people than their hobbies, likes and dislikes,” Harry told his son, getting a little annoyed that James was proving Snape’s assertion to be correct. Perhaps his children, or at least James, would not understand Snape’s actions.  
Throughout this conversation, Snape continued to stand on the spot with his wand, but Harry could tell, by looking in the man’s eyes that he was extremely angry and upset.  
Having heard his father’s last comment, James had some sense to stop arguing and Harry brought his attention back to Snape.  
“I don’t care what they say to you or how much they beg; you will not tell them anymore than what they already know!” Snape said in a deadly whisper filled with rage.  
“But Snape-”  
“I told you this would happen, Potter! They find out I like the Dark Arts and automatically I became a bad person, even though they know I saved your life, they fear me- look at the way they’re staring at me!” Snape yelled hysterically, pointing at the children, all of whom looked like they were ready to flee the room.  
“That’s only because you’re yelling-”  
“No it isn’t, do you realise that for the rest of their schooling, if I am still their professor, they will think I am dangerous and will do anything to get away from me because they think I’ll curse them or use Sectumsempra against them or-”  
“Snape, you’re been irrational about all of this, they’re not going to-” Ginny tried to reason with the man as she too stood up next to her husband.  
“I am not being irrational- you think you understand your children so well, but let me inform you that I have taught children for a long time and I know that first impressions mean a lot and now your eldest son has just proven it-”  
“But if we just explain it to them-” Harry persisted.  
“No Potter! I told you this was a bad idea; I cannot believe I was stupid enough to agree to this. I hope you all have a good Christmas; I am leaving.” Snape exclaimed angrily as he made his way towards the door, but was soon confronted by Harry who was surprisingly faster than Snape and stood in front of the man.  
“Daddy!” Lily exclaimed, as she saw the look on Snape’s face and knew it was a bad idea to try to stop the man.  
“Get out of my way, Potter!” Snape yelled, pointing his wand at Harry’s chest. The man was so upset and so disappointed that the children no longer thought him to be a good person that Snape didn’t want to be there anymore. After seeing the look in Albus’ eyes, the disappointment and worry Lily’s eyes showed him, the thing he desired the most was to leave. He had no intention of hurting Potter, but rather to show him that he was not to be messed with; he wanted to leave and no one should try to stop him.  
Harry put his hands up in response to Snape’s threat. The other adults were looking apprehensively at the two men. All of them had their wands at the ready just in case a duel broke out.  
“We can work this out, Snape,” Harry whispered so only Severus could hear. “Please don’t go yet.”  
“You know that these are your children, Weasley’s children; they are never going to understand unless they see it for themselves and even then they may not believe it,” Snape whispered aggressively back.  
“Why don’t you show them then?” Harry pressed, thinking that it may actually be a good idea.  
“No, I will not have them parading around my love for Lily,” Snape said, stopping abruptly as he realised that that was the first time he had ever asserted his love in front of Potter.   
“We don’t have to tell them about that; if you just took the time to explain that you were fascinated by the Dark Arts, but never sought to really hurt people-”  
“But I did, Potter. If I had the opportunity I would have used Sectumsempra on your father because that’s how much I hated him. I am not a good person and I think you are a fool for naming your child after me!”   
Storming past Harry, Snape let himself out of Grimmauld Place, slamming the door behind him.


	12. ... Friendship and Bravery...

“I’m going after him,” Harry stated as he went to put on his cloak to follow Snape out the front door.  
“Harry, wait! Shouldn’t we talk about what has just happened?” Ginny said, trying to reason with her husband.  
Harry turned to face the children in the living room and realised that apart from James who was still indignant about being told off by his father, the other four looked confused and worried.  
Harry nodded and the family sat down in the living room again, but now a fearful air filled the place and Harry didn’t like it much.  
“What’s Sectumsempra?” Rose was the first to speak and Hermione had to admit that she was a little annoyed Snape had stated the spell so clearly in front of the children.  
“Sectumsempra is the spell the Half Blood Prince or Professor Snape made up- the one that Harry used against Draco,” Hermione answered nonetheless, realizing that her daughter wouldn’t give up until she knew what the spell was called anyway.  
“Wow, that’s a really cool incantation- Sectumsempra!” Rose yelled followed by Hermione reprimanding her for uttering it for it was extremely dangerous and not to be messed around with.  
“Look, can we just get on with the task at hand; I want to find Professor Snape,” Harry said, anxious to talk to the man again because although he didn’t truly understand what Snape was feeling, he was disturbed that Snape thought him a ‘fool’ to name Albus after him. Harry really wanted to prove the man wrong.  
“Why do you want to go after him anyway, Harry? He may have saved our lives and been loyal to Dumbledore but that doesn’t stop him from being a prick,” Ron stated plainly and it became clear to Harry that not even Ron had forgiven Snape for what he did, so how was he supposed to expect his children to understand?  
“Ron, you are so out of line!” Ginny yelled. “You shouldn’t have said that Snape was the Half Blood Prince; you know he didn’t want people to know that!” Ginny continued, frustrated that her brother had ruined the Christmas atmosphere and the wonderful night they were having.  
“It was a mistake! I was trying to fix my robes, but it kept fraying-”  
“Oh boo hoo! Couldn’t you just keep a secret for once in your life?”  
“Come on, you are both acting like children,” Hermione said trying to break up the argument. “What we should be doing is talking to our children about what just happened.”  
James was still annoyed at his father for reprimanding him in front of his professor, so he didn’t begin the discussion, so Albus took the opportunity to express his thoughts.  
“Dad, why did you and Mum name me after Professor Snape?” he asked, not in an accusatory way like James did, but in a respectful and curious way.  
“We all,” Harry said, indicating his friends and wife, “thought that Snape was on Voldemort’s side. Even though he saved our lives and even though Dumbledore always trusted him, we still thought that what he said and how he acted made him a bad person. The year that Voldemort was defeated, Snape gave me some of his memories in an effort to show me and convince me that he had in fact been loyal to the Order this entire time. I saw those memories and my first thought was that Snape was more human and braver than I ever thought he could be. I felt guilty for having judged him right from the beginning as a terrible person when in fact he was risking his life for me and for Dumbledore’s cause everyday. Your mother and I thought that that type of sacrifice and bravery is amazing and something we wanted to honour by naming our son after him. Uncle Ron still hasn’t completely forgiven Snape for the way he treated us, but as for your aunt, Mum and I we have forgiven him and realise that although he may not be pleasant to be around, his intentions were always good and that’s what really matters.” It was at this moment that Harry realised just how much his son’s name really meant to him; he had to justify to Snape why he named Albus after him even if it took him hours.  
Seeing the look on her son’s face when he realised just how much his Defense against the Dark Arts teacher obviously meant to his father, Ginny added: “Albus, we aren’t saying that Snape is a perfect person, but neither was Albus, James, or even Lily,” she said looking at her other children too. “It just so happens that Severus is still alive, something neither me nor your father thought possible. However you wish to perceive or act towards Professor Snape is up to you. But when your father and I could have had the opportunity to get to know Snape, he was a spy and therefore couldn’t treat us nicely because Death Eaters and the students in Slytherin would become suspicious. But now Professor Snape is free of that façade and I am sure, by what you have told us, he is much nicer now. He honestly is not a bad person otherwise we would not have named you after him and your father would not be so anxious to follow Professor Snape,” Ginny said kindly, smiling at her son. She really wanted her child to understand what Snape meant to them and although she couldn’t tell him everything about Severus, she genuinely believed that, unlike her eldest son, Al would understand and perhaps value Snape even more if he knew the whole truth.  
“But what about his obsession with the Dark Arts?” James finally spoke up, somewhat aggressively.  
“He finds the Dark Arts fascinating, but have you ever realised that such knowledge is what makes him a good Defense against the Dark Arts teacher? Don’t you think his knowledge about the Dark Arts would have helped the Order understand more about the spells and curses Voldemort and his Death Eaters would likely use? Don’t you think that although the Dark Arts may be dangerous and mysterious to us that having some knowledge about them is better than knowing none at all?” Harry asserted, wanting his son to understand further the benefits of the Dark Arts; he couldn’t believe just how much James was like the person he was named after. Harry never thought James would have been so determined to despise the Dark Arts, but like the late James Potter, it seems that Snape was right in asserting that first impressions and the Dark Arts really do have a huge impact on one’s opinion of another.  
After his father so blatantly told him all the good things about the Dark Arts, James was ready to fight back, but realised that his father obviously cared about Severus and would have stood up for him no matter what. So James held his tongue and instead replied, somewhat reluctantly: “I’m sorry, Dad.”  
Harry’s face softened as he looked at his son. He knew James wasn’t sorry for his thoughts or for what he just said, but more how and when he said it; James was sorry for making Snape even angrier than he already was.  
“That’s okay, James. Just try to understand people before you make judgements about them,” Harry said gently, not wanting James to think he did something wrong, because most children would have done what James did. What Harry hoped to create in his eldest son was a sense of empathy.  
James nodded.  
“Well I think I should go and find Professor Snape now,’ Harry announced as he stood up.  
“But Daddy, he didn’t seem very happy; I don’t think you should annoy him,” Lily said, fearfully. Although she believed that Snape was a good person, she was a little deterred by the fact that he liked the Dark Arts and really didn’t like the sound of the Sectumsempra curse.  
“Professor Snape will not hurt me, Lily,” Harry said reassuring his daughter that he will be okay.  
“But how do you know that?” James asked.  
“He protected me for so many years, I don’t think he’d all of sudden change his mind, do you?”  
“Maybe not, but Dumbledore’s dead now so maybe he’ll decide to go against you,” James stated.  
Harry smiled slightly because if the story he and his friends just told were anything to go by, then James’ suspicions would probably be accurate. However, Harry knew about Snape’s true reason for changing sides and although he couldn’t share this knowledge with the children, he had no doubt in his mind that Snape would never harm him, even as an adult.  
“I am confident that Professor Snape will not harm me, James,” Harry told his son. “I know you are all worried, but I’ll be fine,” Harry reassured his family.  
“But Uncle Harry, he seemed pretty mad, I don’t know if he’ll listen to you,” Hugo said a little nervously because he didn’t want to be told off for making judgements about Snape.  
Harry turned to his nephew and saw that the child was only curious and was not trying to attack Snape.  
“I know this may sound strange to you and to Ron,” Harry said looking up at his best friend, “but ever since I found out that Snape was alive, I have wanted to be friends with him- if he’ll let me,” Harry said, a little worried that perhaps Snape would outright refuse him.  
“I don’t see why you’d bother,” Ron replied. “I mean, he may be a loyal friend to have, but he won’t be any fun to talk to, he’d probably bring up your father all the time, because we all know Snape’s a-”  
“Ron!” Harry exclaimed, fed up with his friend’s immaturity. “That was nineteen years ago! People change and from what our children have told us, he has changed for the better. I don’t care if you’re not willing to give him a second chance, or a third chance or a hundredth chance, but I am and that’s why I am bothering to talk to him!”   
Grabbing his cloak off the stand by the front door, he said to Ginny: “I’ll have dinner when I get back. Make sure the children get to bed early.” Then turning to the rest of his family: “I’ll see you tomorrow for Christmas day. Good night,” Harry said in the most pleasant tone he could muster so that his children knew he was still excited for Christmas despite everything that had happened. But as Harry closed the door behind him and focused his attention on Snape, his heart sank a little; he realised he had no idea where the man lived.

*****

The moment Snape left Grimmauld Place, he Apparated back to Spinner’s End. But instead of going inside his home, he decided to walk around the street. There was no one out for they were all inside or on holidays celebrating Christmas with their families. But Snape didn’t feel like sitting down inside his house, so he decided to walk around until his anger subsided or at least until it decreased to a manageable level. He couldn’t believe he had become so angry at Potter’s place, he could only imagine what the children would think of him now and he dreaded going back to Hogwarts- he’d just have to pretend it never happened. As he was walking around the neighbourhood, he saw a familiar figure up ahead, though he hadn’t seen the person for nineteen years. Noticing that it was not the full moon and therefore he wasn’t in any real danger, Snape continued to walk towards the figure, not sure if he wanted to talk to the man. Perhaps due to his acute hearing or his wolfish characteristics, Fenrir Greyback heard Snape approach him and swiftly turned around to see who was following him. Seeing Snape before him, Fenrir smiled and approached Snape who remained on his guard for he had no idea what Fenrir knew about his true loyalties.  
“My, my Severus, it has been so many years since I or anyone else has seen you,” Greyback whispered, when the two men were close enough to hear and see one another.  
“I know, Fenrir, how have you been?” Snape asked, keeping the conversation civil.  
“Oh, there’s been plenty of children for me to attack so I suppose I should say I am content,” Fenrir replied with a smile on his face. Snape returned the smile but it wasn’t easy when he had never been so disgusted in his life.  
“Well that certainly is beneficial for you Fenrir. But what brings you to Spinner’s End? Know of some children living nearby that you may want to feast on during the next full moon?”  
“No, no Severus. I have no intention of attacking any children around here, but now that you mention it, it might be an idea to have a look around before I go.”  
“So what exactly are you doing here again?” Snape asked, realizing how Fenrir managed to avoid his question.  
“To see you actually,” Fenrir replied smiling in a way that Snape found absolutely chilling.  
“Really? Why would you want to see me?” Snape whispered, becoming slightly worried that perhaps he should have turned and ran in the other direction away from Greyback.  
“Well, Lucius told me recently that you did not die nineteen years ago and that you had returned to Hogwarts to teach. Is that right?” Greyback asked, still grinning.  
“Yes, but I am now on holidays for Christmas, I won’t be returning to Hogwarts for some time,” Snape answered, trying to keep as calm as possible.  
“Oh, that’s fine, I just wanted to come by your place and see if Lucius was in fact telling me the truth, because I couldn’t believe that the Dark Lord didn’t kill you after telling everyone he did just before he and Potter dueled,” Greyback growled. But Snape wondered if that was truly the reason why Greyback was there: to avenge the Dark Lord? He doubted it; Greyback never did anything for Voldemort unless he received something in return. Snape tried to use Legilimency on Greyback, but either the werewolf didn’t have a mind to analyse or he had learnt Occlumency since Voldemort’s downfall. Snape forced himself to push that worry away to focus on what he was telling Greyback.  
“The Dark Lord tried to kill me, but didn’t succeed. Of course I deserved to die for I failed to retrieve Potter for him, but that was all in the past. I do wish that the Dark Lord was still alive; the wizarding world would be a much more desirable place if he were the ruler,” Snape said in the most convincing tone he could manage. Of course he didn’t mean a word of it, but he knew better than to tell Greyback the truth.  
“So is that why you have been hiding for so many years?”  
“Yes, I suppose that is one of the reasons, but more simply I was content brewing my own potions, some of them deadly and didn’t have any need to communicate or enter the wizarding world except to get potion ingredients,” Snape said, though none of his potions were actually deadly, he thought such a statement would excite and convince Fenrir more readily of Snape’s continued love of the Dark Arts.  
“I see. Well I hope your potions were a success after you spent so much time on them?” Greyback inquired, still smiling.  
“Yes, they have all been a success I am proud to say.”  
“Now I must ask you, what do you know about the Deathly Hallows?” Greyback asked and Snape could tell that this was the main reason why Fenrir wanted to speak to him. “I understand that you were spying on Dumbledore for several years so surely you must know something about them and their whereabouts?”  
“Unfortunately, not even Dumbledore trusted me with such information, but I have heard that Harry Potter destroyed them after he defeated the Dark Lord so that no one could do what you and many others would wish to do.”  
“Hmmm, well that is a shame, but anyway, I suppose I can now tell Lucius I have seen you for myself. I am glad you are still alive Severus, though I have to say that had the Dark Lord survived you would be a very dead man indeed. The Dark Lord was an excellent wizard and I know you would have served him till the end. Would you agree?” Greyback asked, still smiling.  
“Yes, absolutely Fenrir. If the Dark Lord were still alive, he would be more powerful than we could even imagine. It is deeply unfortunate that Potter managed to defeat him because he would have been an amiable ruler,” Snape stated, making himself feel sick as he spoke. He never had a problem with lying before, but for some reason, after spending the day hearing and telling the truth, he couldn’t believe how much his voice was now drenched in lies.  
“I couldn’t agree more. Well, Severus, I hope to see you around.” And with a short bow, the werewolf turned around and walked back the way he came. Snape stared after the man and was completely lost in thought, the problems he encountered at Grimmauld Place had momentarily left him as he wondered what made Greyback so determined to see him that he would come to his home town filled with Muggles and secondly, why the man was always smiling. Something wasn’t right…  
Still lost in thought, Snape slowly walked back to his house but suddenly halted for a large silver stag was blocking his path. It said in Harry’s voice: “Where are you?”  
Snape sneered at the man’s determination to find him as he continued to walk home.  
When Snape finally arrived on his front door step, he could see yet another lonely figure walking towards him from the opposite end of the street. He noticed the person was yelling something, but couldn’t hear him properly. As the figure approached, however, Snape recognised the voice immediately and ran down his porch stairs. Charging towards the figure, who had stopped yelling when he saw the man approaching, Snape grabbed the caller by the wrist and dragged him inside his house before the man could say another word. After undoing all of the security charms that surrounded his house, Snape dragged the man inside the front door and slammed it shut behind them. Snape turned aggressively towards the man he brought with him and yelled: “What in god’s name did you think you were doing yelling my name like that? What were you thinking, Potter?”  
“Well I knew you lived here somewhere, having seen your memories, Aunt Petunia indicated briefly where you lived, so I figured I would come here and call for you, hoping that you would hear me,” Harry said simply.  
“Are you out of your mind? You’re lucky I was outside otherwise I wouldn’t have heard you,” Snape hissed.  
“Well that was lucky for me then, wasn’t it?” Harry replied smiling.  
“What are you doing here? You should be at home with your family,” Snape pointed out.  
“I know, but I told them I would definitely be home tomorrow morning to celebrate Christmas with them.”  
“You were planning on possibly staying here the night?” Snape asked, completely blown away by the determination Potter seemed to have to talk with him.  
“If that’s how long it takes, then yes,” Harry said seriously.  
“So what is it that you wished to accomplish by visiting me?” Snape asked, realizing that no matter how hard he tried, Potter just wasn’t going to give up.  
“Well to put it plainly, though perhaps it is a little childish, I am here basically to ensure that you don’t hate Ginny and me for naming our son after you,” Harry said. Although he sounded a bit stupid saying it, that is truly why he was there.  
Snape sneered. “I don’t hate you, Potter. I just find it hard to believe you would be so stupid. I guess I am still surprised that you would do such a thing considering the past. But as we have previously discussed, it was you and your wife’s choice, though if I were you, I wouldn’t have named my child after someone like me. End of discussion.” Snape was trying to dismiss Harry, but even as he said it, he knew his attempt was fruitless.  
“So you don’t think you’re worthy of such an honour?” Harry pressed on.  
“No, I don’t and neither do your children-”  
“I think Albus does, though I think he is a little reluctant to admit it in front of James-”  
“Typical-”  
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“Your son is exactly like his grandfather,” Snape said somewhat aggressively.  
Harry smiled. “I know,” but then his expression turned into one of concern, “but the things he said to you were completely unacceptable and if he treats you like that in your classes, I give you every permission to put him on detention,” Harry said.  
Snape sneered, “You don’t need to tell me how to discipline my students, Potter.”  
“I know, but honestly, the words coming out of his mouth- neither Ginny nor I instilled within him a hatred of the Dark Arts, he must have picked that up at Hogwarts,” Harry wondered out loud.  
“Perhaps, but as you may have noticed, his reaction wasn’t that different to your own and Mr Weasley’s when you found out at his age,” Snape pointed out.  
“I know and I can’t believe Ron! He knows the whole truth and he still-”  
“It’s fine, Potter. You do not need to defend me,” Snape said. “I understand and I should not have lost my temper.”  
Harry was speechless; the man left his house so angry, what happened in the half an hour or so between him walking out the door and arriving at his house in Spinner’s End?  
“But, you were so mad when you left, I thought you would still be livid,” Harry said, looking at Snape curiously.  
“Mmm, perhaps in normal circumstances, but I now have more pressing matters to consider,” Snape said, thinking about Greyback’s strange appearance in Spinner’s End.  
“Why? What happened?” Harry asked, realizing that something serious must be bugging Snape because it was not like him to forgive and forget.  
“When I arrived back home, I decided to walk down the street, because at that time, I was still furious. But then I ran into Greyback and-”  
“What? What was he doing here?” Harry was now worried for he hadn’t see Greyback in years.  
“Well he told me that Lucius told him I was alive and that he wanted to visit me to see if it were true. But I do not believe him.”  
“Hmmm, that’s really strange. There’s no way he would make the effort to visit you just to see you… did he say anything else when he was talking to you?”  
“Well we spoke a lot about the Dark Lord and I told him that I have been brewing potions for the last nineteen years. And he also asked me about the Deathly Hallows.” Snape finished, still trying to figure out what Fenrir’s ulterior motive may have been.  
“Was he at the final battle between myself and Voldemort?” Harry asked, getting more and more worried.  
“Yes; he heard from the Dark Lord’s mouth that he killed me only moments before you and he battled for the final time,” Snape answered slowly.  
“So he knew that Voldemort had the Elder Wand and that I was actually the master of it?”  
“Well, I doubt Fenrir would be intelligent enough to realise that, but yes, he may know.”  
“Damn,” Harry whispered.  
“Why?” Snape asked, wanting to know what Potter was thinking about the situation.  
“I don’t really know why he would wait for so long, but do you think that may be he was trying to find out more information about the Deathly Hallows?”  
“When he asked me if I knew anything, I told him that they were destroyed- he seemed to believe me,” Snape finished, wondering where Potter was going with this.  
“Mmm, well let’s hope he keeps believing that,” Harry said.  
“What do you mean? They were destroyed weren’t they?”  
Harry shook his head.  
“You lied?”  
“What did you expect me to do? I didn’t want my children trying to look for them nor anyone from fifth year. It is better if the objects are believed to be destroyed, even if they were not.”  
“So they haven’t been destroyed?” Snape asked, not quite believing how much danger the wizarding world would be in if anyone got a hold of the objects.  
“No, they haven’t; I still have the cloak, but the other two objects are elsewhere.”  
Snape simply stared at Potter. The fact that he knew where all three objects were and yet hadn’t been tempted to join them together shocked Snape beyond speech. Although he always had the impression that Potter never sought power, he thought the man would at least be a little curious.  
“You haven’t combined them? Don’t you want to know what would happen?”  
“Why would I want to join them? I am perfectly happy and have no desire to be powerful and live forever. I plan for the Elder Wand’s allegiance to die with me and no, I have no desire to know what would happen if I did join them.”  
Snape was dumbstruck.  
“It isn’t good for someone to have all of the power, Snape. I’d rather just leave the objects where they are; it will benefit everyone in the end.”  
Snape nodded, though still shocked, he realised that unlike many human beings, Harry never sought power or immortality.  
“So do you think that that is why Greyback was here?” Snape asked.  
“Well I hope not, but it would make sense. If it is only now that Greyback found out that you are still alive, and if he planned on asking you about what you knew, then it would make sense that it is only now that he has began to research the Deathly Hallows. We can only hope that he never learns the truth about the objects,” Harry asserted, still evidently worried. Harry made a mental note to inform Ron of this information so both of them could keep a look out for any sign of Greyback near Hogwarts, the location of the other two hallows.  
“Also, there is something else that you should probably know,” Snape added.  
“What is it?” Harry asked concerned.  
“I tried to use Legilimency against Greyback to see if he was lying to me about why he was in Spinner’s End. However, I was unsuccessful which means he can do Occlumency and if that’s the case, he may also be a Legilimens. So anyone who does know the whereabouts of the Deathly Hallows should be warned to keep their guard up.”  
Harry nodded vigorously. “Absolutely, I’ll make sure of it,” Harry replied thinking about Ron, Hermione and Ginny for they are the only people who knew the rough location of the Deathly Hallows.

Suddenly an owl flew through the open window and gave its letter to Harry. It read: The children are in bed, though James is still mad at you for yelling at him. I am sure he will be over it tomorrow. I hope you found Snape alright. Love Ginny.  
“It’s from Ginny,” Harry informed Snape. “It seems James is still mad at me,” Harry said a little concerned that he was too harsh with his son.  
“What happened after I departed?” Snape asked a little curious as to how the family reacted to what took place.  
“Well, James continued to insist that an obsession with the Dark Arts equals a bad person, but Albus didn’t quite believe him. I told James all the potentially good things about liking the Dark Arts, after which he apologized for what he said. I insisted that I go after you and Ron asked me why I would bother. I answered that I wanted to be your friend if you would let me, but he thought I was completely crazy. Hermione told Rose that Sectumsempra was the spell I used against Draco and Ginny told Albus that he was free to perceive you however he wanted, because that’s what matters- what he thinks about you and not what James thinks,” Harry said rather quickly.  
Snape didn’t answer; he was shocked that Potter had even turned against his best friend, just to stick up for Snape. Snape hated to admit it, but as he got to know Harry better, he really began to see just how different he was from his father, for James would never have turned against Sirius to stand up for someone, no matter who they were or what they did.  
“Perhaps you should be getting home to your family,” Snape suggested, realizing that Ginny was probably worried about him.  
“Yes, it’ll be an early morning tomorrow, the kids never sleep past seven o’clock on Christmas day,” Harry said with a smile on his face. “Anyway, I know it is unlikely that Greyback will continue looking for the Deathly Hallows now that he believes they are destroyed, but I will inform Ginny, Ron and Hermione about Greyback and make sure that all of us keep our guard up nevertheless,” Harry said in an optimistic tone.  
Snape nodded his understanding; he wasn’t too worried about Greyback anymore because he, like Harry, doubted the man would find the Hallows if he believed them to be destroyed.  
When the two men arrived at the front door, Harry continued: “Well, I am happy that you don’t hate me Snape, because then I may have to tell my children that Severus, although brave and courageous, is also stupid for believing himself to be dishonorable,” Harry stated with a smile on his face.  
“Anyway, Merry Christmas, Professor Snape,” Harry said holding out his hand.  
“Merry Christmas, Potter,” Snape said, taking Harry’s hand and shaking it.

As Snape watched Harry walk down the stairs, he felt happy which was a rare and strange feeling for Severus; he realised that his actions not only meant something to himself and hopefully to Lily, but to other people as well and Snape was glad to know that one of those people was Harry Potter.


	13. Dark times lie ahead...

It was Christmas day and Snape knew it was a time to spend with one’s family. Of course, Snape didn’t have any family to celebrate with, since his father died when he was eighteen and he hadn’t spoken to his mother in decades. So Snape was used to celebrating such holidays by himself and this year was no exception. In fact, Christmas now seemed to be a novelty for him, so much so that sometimes he forgot that it even was Christmas. With nineteen Christmases to come and go without him so much as leave his house, Snape now associated the holiday with a day of peace and quiet in his lab. But this morning, after having a conversation with both Harry and Fenrir the night before, he was still disturbed by Greyback’s behaviour towards him and his sudden support of the Dark Lord. Sure, Greyback served the Dark Lord and was paid handsomely for his loyal service, but he was not a Death Eater per se, so Snape couldn’t understand why he seemed to support the Dark Lord even more passionately than some Death Eaters would have. Snape never recalled Greyback asserting his complete alliance to Voldemort and consequently found last night’s conversation to be a little unexpected.   
Snape decided that he would not be content with the whole situation until he spoke to Lucius; Snape wanted to find out exactly what the man told Greyback. Walking to his fireplace, Snape picked up a handful of floo powder and threw it in the flames.  
“Malfoy Manor!” Snape cried as his head began to spin while his knees remained firmly on the floor.  
“Lucius, I need to speak to you,” Snape called to the empty living room. Soon Lucius was running into the room, completely surprised to see Snape’s head poking out of his fireplace for the man hadn’t initiated contact with him for nearly twenty years.  
“Severus! It’s Christmas day! What do you want to discuss at such a time?” Lucius asked, slightly annoyed at the intrusion.  
“I spoke to Greyback last night. Exactly what did you tell him, Lucius?’ Snape demanded, wanting to know every detail.  
“He and I met by chance a few days ago. He wished to know what I was up to; he also talked a reasonable amount about the Dark Lord and his downfall which led onto Potter and what he was doing-”  
“What did you tell him?” Snape asked, worried that Harry was bought into the conversation.  
“I told him that he is married, working at the ministry as an Auror and has three children, that’s all,” Lucius replied defensively.  
“Did he seem interested in that information?”  
“No- Severus, why all the questions?” Lucius wondered, wishing the man would simply state what was on his mind.  
“Never mind, did he say anything about me?” Snape inquired dismissing his friend’s question.  
“Why, you’re becoming very self assured aren’t you-”  
“I don’t have time for your comments, I need to know the facts,” Snape asserted aggressively. Lucius was smirking.  
“Greyback mentioned that he thought it was a shame that you were murdered for not bringing Potter to the Dark Lord-“  
“What?” Snape exclaimed in disbelief.  
“He seemed to think that you are an honourable man and although you deserved to die, he perhaps thought that you were an asset to him  
“How can I be of any help to him?”  
“I think you know-”  
“No, don’t play games with me Lucius, what are you talking about?”  
“The Deathly Hallows, Severus,” Lucius said seriously.  
“You know about them too?” Snape asked, wondering just how many people knew about the three mysterious objects.  
“Of course, Severus. Although I didn’t hear them mentioned when the battle took place simply because I wasn’t there to hear it, it seems that most people remained fixated on the fact that you had betrayed the Dark Lord and didn’t think twice about the possibility that the Deathly Hallows could still be in existence. Greyback however, remained fixated on the Elder Wand and told me recently that ever since he saw Potter defeat the Dark Lord with the Wand, he has desired nothing more than to find it. Greyback wished you were still alive because as a spy he thought you might know something- perhaps he thought you could work together,” Lucius suggested, sneering at the idea that Snape would ever work alongside someone as thoughtless as Greyback.  
“Well, Fenrir did ask me about the Deathly Hallows when I saw him and I told him that Potter destroyed the objects after he defeated the Dark Lord, because that’s what Potter told me earlier in the year,” Snape said quickly, getting more anxious by the minute because even though he told Greyback the objects no longer exist, he now knew better and was worried that perhaps Greyback would somehow discover the truth.  
“I’m sure that’s all he wanted to know, Severus. There is no need to be worried about his meeting you.”  
“But he can do Occlumency and for all we know he may also be able to do Legilimency too,” Snape stated.  
“But so can you, Severus. I honestly don’t see why this bothers you,” Lucius said getting a little fed up with his friend’s pedantic analysis of the conversation.  
“But he never would come to a muggle town just to search for me.”  
“He was more than just looking for you; he was looking for a possible opportunity of finding power and immortality,” Lucius asserted.  
“After nineteen years, it’s only now he decides to look for them?”  
“Well now that he knows you’re alive, perhaps now he thinks he has a chance, though if the objects are destroyed then there will be no hope that anyone will join the objects together anyway, so I don’t know why you are so worried.”  
“What is Greyback doing nowadays?” Snape asked trying to change the topic slightly to distract him from the many ideas and possibilities flying through his mind.  
“Nothing as far as I can gather, he seems to prowl local wizarding towns, looking for children to attack at the next full moon… as far as I know, he doesn’t have a job and is extremely poor.”  
Suddenly, a thought came to Snape: “Did you tell him I was always on Dumbledore’s side?”  
“No, but wouldn’t he already know that?”  
“How?” Snape asked, his eyes wide  
“Well if he was at the final battle, he would have heard what Potter said about you, wouldn’t he?”  
Shit, Snape had never thought of that.  
“Why so worried, Severus?”  
“I told him that I wished the Dark Lord were the leader of the wizarding world, I implied that I was a loyal Death Eater. He knows I lied to him!”  
“Why exactly is that so horrifying to you?”  
“If I thought your reaction was bad when I told you about my true loyalties, it will be nothing compared to Greyback’s.”  
“But Greyback wasn’t loyal to the Dark Lord; he just did his bidding for payment.”  
“I know, but something about the way he was talking last night… he knew I was lying that whole time… he’d want revenge on me for lying to him and for causing the Dark Lord’s death because I didn’t turn Potter in.”  
“I doubt that Greyback would have such tendencies towards avenging a man who wasn’t even his master.”  
“I know, but something is different about him… I think he’ll try get revenge.”  
“And how do you think he’d do that, Severus? He’s a werewolf, very few people would work for him and he isn’t able to get into your house or into Hogwarts, so I don’t see how he is going to avenge himself on you.”  
Snape nodded in agreement, but honestly believed that when there is a will, there’s a way and he had no doubt that Greyback had something planned. Perhaps he was just being paranoid- maybe Lucius was right. But no matter how many times Snape tried to convince himself of this, the same edgy, uncomfortable feeling continued to return.  
He knows I betrayed the Dark Lord and now he wants to finish off what the Dark Lord started; finding the Deathly Hallows would be the perfect way to avenge the Dark Lord.

 

*****

“Ron, can I speak to you for a moment,” Harry whispered in his friend’s ear while their children were still opening presents near their Christmas tree.  
“Yeah,” Ron replied as the two men stood up and walked into the kitchen, leaving the two women watching the children open their gifts.  
“What’s up, Harry?” Ron asked, noticing the serious look on Harry’s face.  
“When I went to talk to Snape last night, he told me that he saw Greyback in Spinner’s End.”  
Ron simply stared back at Harry as if refusing to believe him.  
“What do you make of this?” Harry asked, encouraging his friend and colleague to give him some input.  
“Well, that’s absurd. Greyback wouldn’t go to Spinner’s End unless he was looking for children to bite and it wasn’t the full moon last night- was it?” Ron asked, suddenly looking worried.  
“No, it wasn’t and that’s what confused both Snape and I. Snape told me that Greyback said that he was in Spinner’s End simply to look for Snape, to see if he’s still alive. But I don’t believe that’s true. What do you think?”  
“Nah, I doubt that would be the only reason. He must have had some other ulterior motive,” Ron said, thinking hard.  
“That’s what we thought. Snape said that Greyback asked him what he knew about the Deathly Hallows-”  
“What? Do you think he knows about them?” Ron asked looking fearful.  
“Well he was there the night I defeated Voldemort, so he must have heard what I said about the Elder Wand, in which case, if he had heard the tale, he would realise that the objects probably exist.”  
“But why would he go to Snape for help?”  
“I don’t know… but maybe he thought Snape would know something; after all, Greyback believes Snape was spying on Dumbledore for many years so I can see why he thought he may know something about it.”  
“That’s still really weird.”  
“I know and also his appearance all of sudden is a little surprising; I haven’t seen Greyback in years,” Harry said, searching his brain for any time after the defeat of Voldemort that he saw the man, but couldn’t think of any.  
“Really? I have,” Ron stated, to which Harry nearly fell sideways off the wall he was leaning on.  
“What? You never told me you’ve seen him! When did you see him? Where?” Harry asked, wanting full details.  
“The second time the Dementors were let lose and we were trying to escort them back into their enclosure, we saw Greyback lurking in the bushes, but he wasn’t doing anything; he wasn’t even looking at us.”  
Harry paused, thinking it over. “You don’t think it is Greyback who has been releasing the Dementors, do you?” Harry asked, suddenly realizing that that could be a possibility to consider.  
“No, I doubt it; the git isn’t smart enough to work it out. Besides he would never be allowed in the ministry and I doubt anyone would do any favours for Greyback; basically everyone knows someone who has been attacked by him.”  
Ron had a very good point, but it didn’t stop Harry from being apprehensive about the situation.  
“Anyway, I told Snape that the Deathly Hallows are still intact,” Harry whispered. Ron was staring at him in disbelief.  
“You trusted Snape with that information? Are you mad?” Ron whispered angrily.  
“Ron, why can’t you just let it go? You know Snape is on our side, he’s not going to betray us now. And besides he told Greyback that the artifacts were destroyed so hopefully Greyback gives up trying to find them, if that’s indeed what he is doing. Snape would never tell Greyback the truth about the Hallows, you know that,” Harry tried to reason with his friend. Ron merely nodded; he still didn’t fully trust Snape and had no intention of ever forgiving the man completely.  
“Anyway,” Harry continued, “Snape now knows that they still exist and he advised me and I agreed with him to tell you, Ginny and Hermione about it so that you keep your guard up.”  
“What’s Greyback going to do? Give us Veritaserum?” Ron said sarcastically; there was no way the werewolf could obtain the potion let alone find the opportunity to feed it to him or anyone else who knows the information he desires.  
“Maybe, but a greater worry is that Greyback can do Occlumency and consequently, he may also be able to do Legilimency. You know what could happen if Greyback managed to detect that we are lying about the existence of the Deathly Hallows. So we must remain alert.”  
Ron nodded even though he doubted that Greyback could be capable of such advanced magic. “Should we tell Hermione and Ginny?”  
“Yes, did you want to tell Hermione and I’ll tell Ginny? Perhaps after Christmas is over?”  
Ron nodded again as they returned back to their family to continue celebrating Christmas together.

*****

When Snape arrived home after talking to Lucius, he wanted to talk to Potter- again. But he didn’t want to intrude on the family, especially after his somewhat dramatic exit the previous night. But he was beginning to worry about Potter’s safety because of Greyback’s seeming interest in the man. Deciding that he may as well risk the humiliation, Snape left his house, making sure he placed the security charms around it before Apparating to Grimmauld Place.  
Snape knocked on the door. The last time he was in the same position he felt nervous and anxious, but now Snape just wanted to see Potter as soon as possible. Although he could hardly think of himself as being Potter’s friend, especially considering their past, having discussed Greyback and his plans the previous night, Snape felt it was his responsibility to inform Harry of any new ‘additions’ to their speculations.   
Finally, Ginny answered the door.  
“Oh, hello Professor Snape. Merry Christmas,” Ginny said politely, though knew that the man’s visit may not be as well received by some other members of the family. “Harry’s inside, did you want to come in?”   
“Thank you, Mrs Potter. I promise not to intrude too long on your privacy. I just need to speak to Potter; it’s important,” he asserted politely.  
“Not a problem,” Ginny said escorting the man through to the living room where Harry was playing with some of his children’s toys.  
“Harry, Professor Snape is here to see you,” Ginny said, gaining everyone’s attention in the room.  
“What’s he doing here?” Ron exclaimed looking immediately at his sister and best friend.  
“Don’t stress yourself Mr Weasley, I won’t be here long. I have come uninvited, I apologise,” Snape asserted, smirking at the surprised expression on Ron’s face for the man couldn’t believe how polite Snape was being considering everything he said to him the previous night.  
Harry leapt up off the ground and walked over to Snape, looking at him to see whether the news was good or bad. On the way, he was deterred momentarily by Albus’ expression; he seemed a little worried.  
Harry stopped and bent down to his son’s level. “I won’t be long, Al. Professor Snape and I will be in the kitchen. He’s not mad anymore, so don’t worry,” Harry assured his son for it was clear that Christmas day had not distracted Al from what happened the night before when Snape was furious at his father.  
Once the two men entered the kitchen, Snape said: “I just spoke to Lucius and I have found out some more information about Greyback.”  
“I have also found out something as well, from Ron in fact,” Harry added, indicating Ron with a tilt of his head.  
“Well, Lucius spoke to Greyback a few days ago. Originally they discussed the Dark Lord and his downfall. But then Greyback enquired about you-”  
“Why would he ask Lucius about me? What would he know that Greyback wouldn’t?”   
“Exactly my point; perhaps there was something he wanted to know that he thought Lucius would be able to tell him. Anyway, then Lucius told me that Greyback was sorry that I died-”  
“What?”  
“That is precisely what I said. After raving on about how wonderful the Dark Lord was, I never would have believed Greyback to think I did not deserve to die. But Lucius clarified that apparently he thought I did deserve to die, but that he wished I was still alive.”  
“But why would he want that?”  
“Lucius believes it may be because Greyback wanted to work with me to obtain the Deathly Hallows. Fenrir may be stupid, but he knows enough to realise that I would be a valuable asset to him. And something else I only just realised is that he knows I was on Dumbledore’s side because he was there at the final battle and heard what you said. But when I spoke to him last night, I told him I wished the Dark Lord was still in power. I lied to him, he knows it and now he will want revenge,” Snape asserted, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.  
“Well, there is something else we need to worry about too,” Harry said solemnly.  
“What is it?” Snape asked, curious as to what Ron could have added to the conversation.  
“Ron informed me that he saw Greyback the last time he and some of the other Aurors went to round up the Dementors. Ron insists Greyback was there by chance for he wasn’t even paying attention to the Aurors or the Dementors, but it still worries me a bit,” Harry admitted.  
Snape paused, thinking. “If it was him that released the Dementors, what exactly was he trying to achieve?” Snape wondered out loud.  
“I don’t know, but it can’t be anything good, I can assure you of that.”  
The two men sat at the table, thinking hard. Neither of them had any idea what Greyback would be up to. How did he know Occlumency? Did he also know Legilimency? If Harry’s suspicions were correct, why was Greyback releasing the Dementors? How did he know how to release the Dementors? Was he after Snape and if so, how did he plan on getting revenge? And most importantly, did he plan to search for the Deathly Hallows despite what Snape told him? All these questions continued to travel through their minds. But one fact that made them content was that even if Greyback decided to look for the Deathly Hallows, he would never get his hands on them because neither Harry, Ron, Hermione nor Ginny would ever give up such information. So the great puzzle that needed to be solved was how Greyback planned to avenge the Dark Lord on Severus and does that plan involve the Dementors or perhaps an attempt to find the Deathly Hallows?  
Harry and Snape remained lost in thought for fifteen minutes before Ginny began to wonder why the two men were being so quiet and entered the kitchen, disrupting their thoughts. Soon after, Snape left Grimmauld Place with many thoughts circling through his mind. Harry was also deep in thought, but after telling Ginny what he had discussed with Ron and Snape, he forced himself to push Greyback aside for the rest of the night as he continued to celebrate Christmas with his family.

*****

For the rest of the holidays, Snape spent much of his time in the lab. The potion he was brewing before he went to Potter’s on Christmas Eve was still brewing nicely and was turning from a dark green to a much lighter green like Snape had expected it to. When Snape was younger, he enjoyed creating potions of his own. Although the ones at school were interesting, he found them rather easy to brew and consequently sought harder, more complicated ones that would take months to brew, with many intricate procedures along the way. When Snape was eighteen he invented a potion but never had the chance to brew it. It was just before he was invited back to Hogwarts this year that he started making it and only now was it nearly complete. The thing was that Snape didn’t know exactly what the potion would do; although he had some idea, he was eighteen and not as skilled at potion making as he is now. So Snape intended on drinking the potion himself, but not before he had the antidote in case something went wrong. Unfortunately, Snape would have to wait until the summer before he would discover just how talented he was at potions at the age of eighteen; the antidote took about three days to make and required stirring at regular intervals. There was no way for Snape to brew it at Hogwarts for he had too many detentions and papers to mark to be concentrating on the antidote.  
Finally, the potion had all the ingredients required and now it only needed three more days before it would be complete. This was perfect for Snape because in three days time he would be going back to Hogwarts, so he would be able to extinguish the fire beneath the cauldron and bottle it before he went back for the final half of the school year. Snape was strangely looking forward to going back to Hogwarts, a feeling he had never felt since he was a student himself. He only enjoyed Hogwarts because of Lily, but now he was curious as to how Albus, Rose and James would act towards him. Although he hoped there would be no repeat of what happened at Grimmauld Place in his classroom, he hoped rather than believed that they would at least try to understand what he did and that they don’t announce to the entire school that he loves the Dark Arts otherwise Minerva would have more letters of complaint than she could handle. After everything Minerva had done for him that year, he really didn’t want to put that pressure on her and he hoped the children would not cause any such trouble.   
The night before Snape was due to go back to Hogwarts, he slept soundly. However, what he greeted as he walked out of his house the following morning was both unexpected and slightly horrifying.  
“Ah, Snape; on your way to Hogwarts are you?” Greyback asked, his teeth bared as he confronted Snape on the doorstep.  
“Yes, I am. Not to be rude, by why are you here? Were you just about to knock?” Snape asked, wanting more than anything to use Legilimency against the werewolf, but knew it would be a fruitless attempt.  
“Well I wanted to talk to you about Hogwarts actually,” Greyback answered still smiling. Snape was trapped; he couldn’t walk back into the house for Greyback would follow him and the last thing he wanted was Fenrir in his house. But at the same time, he couldn’t walk past Greyback for the staircase was narrow and he didn’t particularly want to reach for his wand incase a duel began.  
“What did you want to know?” Snape asked with polite interest, though that was far from what he was truly feeling.  
“Well I was more concerned, actually,” Greyback replied. “I have heard that some Dementors have been seen near the castle and I was just wondering if there was any protection around the place-”  
“And since when have you been concerned about the students of Hogwarts?” Snape asked, his anxiety increasing by the moment for Harry had told him that Greyback may be responsible for the Dementors recent escapes.  
“Just because I wish the Dark Lord were still alive, Snape, doesn’t mean I don’t care for those who are still here. For example, Lucius’ grandson, Scorpius I think his name is- he’s a fine young man and he’s set for doing great things. I wouldn’t want the Dementors to get too close to him. And I thought seeing as you are one of the professors at the school, I thought you would know.”  
Snape was trying not to smirk. Greyback was pathetic at lying and he knew beyond any doubt that Greyback was the one releasing the Dementors and that he was hoping Snape would accidentally reveal exactly what is protecting Hogwarts castle. Obviously, Greyback wasn’t smart enough to think that perhaps Harry and Snape were one step ahead and already suspected him.   
“Well rest assured Greyback that there are protections surrounding the castle to prevent Dementors and any other unauthorized wizard from entering the grounds, but that is all I know I am afraid,” Snape lied for he knew the exact incantations required to eliminate the protections Minerva had placed around the castle.  
Greyback paused for a moment, staring at Snape. Snape quickly emptied his mind before Greyback was able to invade it- damn; he could do Legilimency. Finally Greyback replied:  
“Well that’s good to know, Severus. I am glad Hogwarts is still ensuring the safety of its students and staff. I will let you go, have a good time at Hogwarts,” Greyback said as he bowed and walked down the stairs looking a little disappointed, but smiled all the same. Snape stood frozen to the spot; he had to process all of the information so he could tell Harry the facts in an orderly manner. Finally, when Greyback was out of sight, Snape walked down the stairs and Apparated to Grimmauld Place.

*****

“Professor Snape! What are you doing here?” Ginny asked as she answered the door.  
“I need to speak to Potter again, my apologies Mrs Potter,” Snape said, looking into the room to see if Harry was around.  
“Harry has taken the children back to Hogwarts, Lily went with them, but he shouldn’t be long,” Ginny assured Snape. “Shouldn’t you be going to Hogwarts yourself?” Ginny asked, concerned as to why the man needed to talk to her husband so urgently.  
“Yes, I will be returning tonight. I don’t mean to trespass long Mrs Potter-”  
“Please- call me Ginny,” Ginny said, a little embarrassed that the man always called her Mrs Potter. Even after fourteen years of marriage, it still sounded too formal.  
“My apologies Ginny, I won’t be long,” Snape said staring around the room, wishing Harry would get back soon.  
“Is it to do with Greyback?” Ginny asked looking worried.  
Snape nodded.  
“What else have you found out? Harry has updated me with what you know so far,” Ginny asserted, eager to find out more; if her children were in danger, she wanted to know about it.  
“Shouldn’t we wait until Potter gets back?”  
“We could, but you seem anxious about it, so if you want we can discuss it,” Ginny offered kindly.  
“Oh- well,” Snape didn’t quite know what to say to that, for he had no intention of reflecting his anxiety to Ginny, but seeing as she noticed…  
“Greyback visited me this morning, he wanted to talk to me about Hogwarts and whether or not there was any protection around the castle preventing Dementors from getting in.”  
Ginny gasped, staring wide eyed at Snape.  
“There is no other explanation; it must have been him who released the Dementors previously. But I cannot think of why he would want to do that. Of course, now that he knows I am a traitor and am still alive, he may want revenge on me now, but he was releasing the Dementors before my existence was revealed, wasn’t he?” Snape asked, looking at Ginny for confirmation.  
Ginny nodded: “I think so.”  
“Although we don’t know all the facts, I think one thing is for certain- Greyback is releasing the Dementors and is aiming for Hogwarts, but for what reason, we can only guess. Also, he can do Legilimency,” Snape concluded.  
Ginny sat in silence for a couple of minutes, thinking over what Snape had said. It was clear to her that her children would be in grave danger if Greyback ever worked out how to get past the defenses of Hogwarts. Ron, Hermione and Minerva would have to be informed; she supposed that Snape would inform the latter; there would be every need to monitor the school closely and make sure none of the children go beyond the grounds of Hogwarts. Now Ginny too, was eagerly awaiting her husband’s return. When Harry finally arrived home with his daughter, he saw Snape and his wife sitting in the living room and knew something was wrong. He sent Lily upstairs to watch some television and then joined the other two adults. After explaining everything Snape discovered that morning, Harry had turned pale and like Ginny, worried greatly for his two sons.  
“What worries me most is that we have no idea why he wants to go to Hogwarts. He may want to get revenge on you Snape, but as you say, what was his motive before he knew you were alive? I assume you will tell McGonagall when you arrive?”  
“Yes, absolutely, she has to know what danger Hogwarts could be in if even one person makes a mistake with the enchantments that protect the castle,” Snape asserted, making a mental note to tell Minerva the moment he saw her.  
“Should we tell the children?” Ginny asked, worried.  
“Perhaps Minerva could mention our suspicions to the school and reinforce that no one is to leave the grounds under any circumstances.” Snape suggested.  
“I think that would be safest,” Harry agreed. “Because I wouldn’t want the children to get extra attention from their peers, with regard to why we suspect Greyback is behind it. It would be best if they know the same as their peers; we wouldn’t want to contradict anything Minerva says,” Harry said, receiving nods from Ginny and Snape.  
“But it still really concerns me that Greyback is doing this after so many years; he hasn’t done anything of concern for nineteen years, I don’t know why he’d start now,” Harry continued.  
“Well I hope we never find out, because I don’t know if I want to know what he’s up to. As long as everyone at Hogwarts remains in the grounds, no harm will come to them and Greyback will never achieve his goal- whatever that may be,” Ginny replied hopefully.  
“Let’s hope so, Ginny,” Harry said taking his wife’s hand.  
“Oh, Snape, you forgot to tell Harry about Greyback knowing Legilimency.”  
“What? He can do Legilimency too?” Harry exclaimed, hardly believing that the aggressive and sadistic werewolf had now become reasonably efficient at two magical skills that few can do.  
“Yes, I am certain that he can,” Snape said nodding.  
“But why would he want to learn such things? Of course he has apparently been doing nothing for nineteen years, but what if he’s been training and preparing for whatever he wishes to accomplish?” Ginny asserted, looking between the two men.  
All three of them paused in thought, when finally Snape replied.  
“You only learn Occlumency if you have something to hide and Legilimency if you think someone is hiding something from you. It would therefore appear that Greyback either predicted that he would need information from others whilst hiding his true intentions or otherwise he was learning it for fun, which I highly doubt.”  
“But who would teach him?” Harry wondered out loud.  
“Well, you don’t have to be taught necessarily,” Snape answered. “Some wizards can learn it through reading and practicing with others.”  
“Can you imagine Greyback reading though?” Harry asked, looking seriously as Snape.  
“No, but I was just stating the possibility,” Snape replied a little defensively.  
“Were you taught by someone?” Ginny asked Snape.  
Snape paused at that moment because he realised that no one had ever thought to ask him that before.  
“Yes, I was taught,” Snape said.  
“By who?” Harry asked, though he had a pretty good idea who would have.  
“Dumbledore,” Snape replied.  
“And you learnt these skills because…”  
“Obviously I learnt Occlumency so that I could lie to the Dark Lord and Legilimency- well there wasn’t a purpose for learning it as such, but Dumbledore was particularly efficient at it and the skill has come in handy on several occasions, especially when disciplining students,” Snape replied sneering slightly. Harry and Ginny smiled, remembering how often Snape used Legilimency against them during their time at Hogwarts.  
“What was it like, learning from Dumbledore?” Harry asked with interest.  
“He was a very patient man,” Snape replied. “I managed to learn the skill a lot faster than you did, Potter. After a few failed attempts, I managed to push my emotions aside and eventually I mastered myself,” Snape informed them.  
“Did Dumbledore ever see any of your memories?” Harry asked, realizing that it was a pretty personal question, but was curious nonetheless.  
“Yes, he saw similar things to what you saw, Potter,” Snape replied, blushing a little.  
“Could that be another reason why Dumbledore so explicitly trusted you?” Harry enquired, because he too was more inclined to trust Snape after seeing brief flashes of his childhood and time at Hogwarts.  
“I suppose it is possible,” Snape replied, realizing that if his memories contributed at all to Dumbledore’s trust in him, it only would have had a little impact for Dumbledore was not blind and could see how he reacted to Lily’s death and his determination to redeem himself.  
Snape glanced at the clock on the wall and realised he was going to be late if he didn’t leave soon. “I better leave for Hogwarts,” Snape said as he stood up.  
“Okay, take care Professor Snape and if there is anything else you find out, please send a letter by owl,” Harry said, shaking the man’s hand.  
“Not a problem, I will keep you informed. Good bye,” Snape said as he walked out the front door and Apparated to the outskirts of Hogwarts grounds.  
“I really hoped we’d never have to live through this again, Harry,” Ginny whispered to her husband, clutching his arm. “We have children now- I don’t know what I would do if we lost one of them or if something happened.  
“I know, Ginny, but remember that Greyback is nothing compared to Voldemort-” Harry tried to comfort his wife.  
“I know, but he’s a werewolf. What if he attacks James or Albus?”  
“I’m sure Professor McGonagall and the other staff at Hogwarts will ensure the man doesn’t enter the grounds and if he does, well hopefully the Aurors are informed immediately and we’ll capture him before anyone gets hurt.”  
“I hope so,” Ginny whispered. She then went to the kitchen to write a letter to Ron and Hermione about what happened, whilst Harry continued to sit on the lounge, thinking over the conversation he had with Snape. He couldn’t help agreeing with Ginny, although perhaps it was a little naïve for him to believe that never again would another potentially threatening situation arise, he just hoped something like this wouldn’t occur after he had children. Although the war nineteen years ago was terrifying, dangerous and tragic, there was something about having children and realizing the danger they were in that really forced Harry to see that he would feel absolutely terrible if something were to happen to his family because of his past.


	14. ...trouble usually finds me...

It was March and Rose was already studying for her exams even though they were two months away. Of course, Albus and James expected nothing less of their cousin and consequently they didn’t annoy her when she was doing her work. Although Albus, James and Rose had made friends in their own years and with their own gender, they never had more fun than when they were together. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny knew this and were thoroughly surprised, not so much by Al and Rose’s close friendship, but with James. As the eldest, Harry was sure he would by dying to get away from his younger brother and cousin. Although James still teases Al and hangs out with his friends occasionally, life in the Gryffindor common room wasn’t the same unless all three of them were there. Of course, the adults had no problem with this and were happy that the children had each other for help and friendship.  
Since the children went back to Hogwarts after the Christmas break, which let’s face it, was eventful, there hadn’t been another Dementor sighting. Although Harry and Ron always had the Dementors in the back of their mind, they didn’t think about it much anymore; perhaps Greyback had stopped trying to get past Hogwarts’ defenses? Snape was thinking along similar lines. Although he was still skeptical about the way Greyback was smiling at him and his seeming determination to cause havoc, Snape hoped that by some lucky chance, Greyback had lost his nerve.  
Since the beginning of the new year, Minerva had several children begging her to invite Harry to give another speech in front of anyone who wanted to listen- not just fifth years. Minerva tried to say ‘no’, but after one hundred pupils asked her the same thing, there was little she could do but oblige. She wrote yet another letter to Harry requesting that he give another talk. Of course, Harry couldn’t say no because he knew how much it would mean to his children and no doubt it would take a lot of pressure off Minerva’s shoulders. But more importantly, Harry enjoyed talking to the students and would never say ‘no’ to another journey to Hogwarts.  
Minerva announced to the students, after receiving Harry’s reply that Mr Potter would be coming in a few days to give another speech. The students were unbelievably excited and it was all they could talk about. Albus noticed that although Scorpius was trying to appear interested, he also seemed a little worried about the occasion. Albus, Rose and James agreed that perhaps, after everything Scorpius’ father had told him about Harry, Scorpius was worried that Harry may single him out because of his dislike of Draco. Although Scorpius enjoyed attention, they concluded that he wouldn’t want to be embarrassed in front of the whole school. Nevertheless, it was clear that Scorpius was looking forward to hearing Potter’s story because his father was never able to give him a complete recount of the events twenty years ago.  
Snape had of course noticed the change in the school atmosphere when Minerva announced Harry’s returning to Hogwarts and sneered; he couldn’t believe how excited all these children were to hear about it. To be honest, Snape was getting sick of hearing about Voldemort, the Death Eaters and all the people that died. These children saw it as something exciting and entertaining, whereas Snape and the staff saw it as their life, not a story…

*****

When Minerva announced that Harry was going to give his talk after dinner on Friday night the students went ballistic; they couldn’t imagine a more perfect ‘bedtime story’. Snape couldn’t believe what he was hearing in the corridors and vowed that under no circumstance would he listen to Harry’s talk again, especially because he didn’t want to see how much the students were enjoying it; there was nothing to enjoy, only remember.  
At six pm on Friday night, Albus was sitting in the common room reading his potions text book because he hadn’t started his assignment for Professor Slughorn yet. Also he was waiting for Rose to arrive so that they could work on it together before Harry’s talk; like his father, Al had realised the advantages of having a friend around to help.  
Suddenly, Albus heard a tapping at the window. An owl had a letter tied to his leg, flapping outside the window, waiting impatiently for Al to open it. Opening the window, Al reached out and pulled the letter off the owl’s leg and watched it fly away. Albus then closed the window and sat on the comfy chair next to the fire. He opened the parchment and read:

Dear Albus,  
I am at Hogwarts now, but I am a bit early as I’m not meant to start my talk until after dinner. Anyway, before I do my talk, there’s something I want to show you. I’m going to meet you just outside the castle doors so the other students won’t see me, I wouldn’t want to cause too much fuss yet.  
Professor McGonagall knows you’re coming with me for a short while.  
See you soon,  
Love Dad.

Excited, Albus folded the letter, put it in his pocket and exited the Gryffindor common room. Running down the many flights of stairs, Albus bounded for the front door and almost ran into Scorpius.   
“Sorry,” Albus said, moving just in time to avoid hitting his classmate.  
“Where are you going?” Scorpius asked curiously.  
“I can’t tell you,” Albus replied. “Anyway, I’ve got to go,” Albus continued cheerfully and turned towards the door. Scorpius walked away, a little concerned, but Albus simply smiled; he couldn’t wait to see his dad and didn’t care if Scorpius was disapproving of his actions.  
Albus reached the door and opened it expecting to see his father standing there. But there wasn’t anyone on the stairs. Albus closed the door quietly behind him and walked around the grounds of Hogwarts calling for his father. But no response came and Albus was getting worried that perhaps something happened to his dad.  
Finally he saw a Patronus through the bushes and into a clearing Albus had never been to before. He noticed that it was his father’s Patronus, a stag. Albus ran over to it, shouting with excitement for he couldn’t wait to see his dad again. But as he got closer, he realised it was simply a bright light been conjured by a wand and that up close it wasn’t a stag at all, but a cloud of white mist. Albus looked around and realised that he didn’t recognise any of the surroundings except the castle, which was behind him. The place was dark now that the white cloud had disappeared and Albus was extremely wary of any source of sound or movement. Turning around to run back to the castle, Albus stopped suddenly; he could hear a rasping noise like a corpse was trying to take a breath. Albus could feel goosebumps on his arms and he began to shiver, not only because he was scared but because he was cold. He couldn’t see anything except blackness.  
“Dad? Dad, help me!” Albus yelled as he continued to spin around sensing the breathing and the presence of another creature, but he didn’t know what it was. Albus was starting to feel weak and helpless, like he’d never be happy again and as the half moon peered through the clouds, Albus saw the bony hand of a Dementor reach for him. Albus scrambled away and continued to yell for help.

*****

Harry was back where he loved to be- Hogwarts. He just arrived in the landing where he and Lily were on the 2nd of September the previous year. But the sound of yelling attracted Harry’s attention more than anything had in so many years. He knew that voice: it was Albus.  
Harry ran towards the castle, following his son’s voice. Panic like nothing Harry had ever experienced rose up within him.  
“Albus? Where are you, Al?” Harry called out as he continued to search the area. Finally up ahead, Harry saw six Dementors surrounding a crouched figure Harry knew to be his son and ran towards the boy. But suddenly another figure ran past Harry, knocking him over. Although it was dark, Harry knew the person was Greyback. The figure reached Albus and bent over the boy.   
Harry froze.  
Never had Harry froze in such a situation, but as he looked at the Dementors surrounding his son and Greyback, Harry didn’t even want to know how much damage Greyback could do to his son in such a short amount of time. But when Albus’ hand shot up in the air, as if trying to fight back, Harry came back to his senses.   
“Expecto Patronum!” Harry yelled, but only a cloud of silver came out of his wand.  
Come on, master yourself. You’ve done this a thousand times, this time is no different.  
And yet a little part of Harry knew that this time was different. His son could be gravely hurt- dead at any moment. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without Albus. But his son was still alive; he had to do his best or he’d never forgive himself.  
“Expecto Patronum!” Harry yelled even louder this time, urging himself to think of a happy enough memory, but nothing was working.  
Having heard Harry’s second outburst, Greyback stood up from where he was struggling with a fighting Albus and told the Dementors to attack Harry. Harry watched as the dark, looming figures glided towards him. He tried again to produce a Patronus, but all Harry could focus on was the small body lying, unmoving on the grass some twenty meters away from him. He could only expect the worse. As the Dementors floated even closer, Harry started to feel clammy, weak and dizzy. He hadn’t faced a Dementor in almost twenty years and still he couldn’t believe just how much the creatures affected him. He could distantly hear Voldemort’s high pitched laugh, but he tried to remain conscious; he couldn’t black out because then his son would be dead without a doubt.  
“Expecto Patronum,” Harry whispered as he sunk to his knees; all he could think about was his youngest son and how he had failed him, failed as a father. The Dementors closed in around Harry; they were absorbing all of Harry’s happy thoughts so that he had nothing left but his worst memories.  
His head heavy, memories from his past haunting his mind, Harry passed out.

*****

“Where’s Mr Potter, he’s supposed to be here, isn’t he?” One of the students asked his friend as they walked past Snape just outside the Great Hall. Snape knew for a fact that Potter would never be late for such an occasion, so Snape went out of the front doors and immediately noticed something was wrong. He could feel their presence, even from so far away; only Dementors could create such a feeling of hopelessness in the air. Knowing that the Dementors couldn’t have entered the school grounds, Snape wasted no time and ran towards the dark figures that were looming just beyond the boundaries Minerva had set up for the protection of the students. It only took Snape a split second to recognise both Harry and Albus’ bodies lying on the ground, the Dementors surrounding the former before Snape yelled:   
“Expecto Patronum!”   
Snape watched as his doe gracefully leapt out of his wand and galloped towards the Dementors which backed off and glided into the forest. But Snape’s worries didn’t end there, for a figure was now running towards Potter, a flask of green liquid held in the hand. Snape recognised the man to be Greyback and was grateful that tonight wasn’t a full moon. Snape watched as Greyback knelt down beside Potter and opened the cork of the vial.  
“Sectumsempra!” Snape yelled, as he pointed his wand directly at Greyback. But Greyback knew Snape was watching him and knew he would attack, and consequently leapt to his feet just before the curse reached him. The werewolf knew he didn’t have much time to get the job done, so he took the risk and knelt down next to Potter again, forced Harry’s mouth open and tipped the potion down his throat. He left Harry choking on the liquid as he Apparated, yet another thing the man had learnt in the last twenty years. But Snape didn’t care that Greyback got away. He looked over at Albus, whose eyes were filled with both tears and fear. But Snape could tell that apart from a few gashes and bruises, the boy was physically undamaged. He then turned to the boy’s father and used a spell to ease Harry’s choking, but had no way of forcing Harry to regurgitate the potion; it was too late- whatever that potion was, it was going to affect Potter. Snape ran over to Harry and bent down next to him and placed his finger tips on the man’s wrist. There was still a pulse, which was a good sign. There were several things Snape could do to try and wake Potter, but he didn’t have the supplies. Nevertheless, Severus didn’t know what Greyback had forced Harry to drink, so even if he had the resources, he would be hesitant to act incase he caused more damage.   
Sitting down on the grass, it took Snape a couple of minutes to realise what had just happened. Thinking about Minerva and the students who were waiting for Potter, Snape decided that for the first time, he was going to reveal his Patronus to Minerva. He used the enchantment Dumbledore had taught him to vocalize his message in his Patronus:  
I have found Albus and Potter. He will not be able to give the talk. I have it under control. Keep all the students inside the castle.  
Snape hoped that not too many people would hear the message, but such worries were not preoccupying his mind at present; his main concern was that the students remained indoors and that no one distracted them until Snape knew for sure what potion Harry had consumed. After sending his Patronus off, Snape conjured a blanket with his wand and placed it over Harry, hoping the man would become conscious soon. He then walked over to Albus who was still lying on the ground, curled up and clearly afraid.  
“Are you alright, Mr Potter?” Snape asked, bending down so that he could get a good look at Albus.  
Albus simply nodded; there was nothing else he could say as he continued to stare at his father’s motionless body.  
“Your father is not dead,” Snape whispered to the boy, hoping that that would comfort him in some way. “He will recover, we just have to wait until he wakes up,” Snape continued, wondering if Albus was hearing him at all.  
Albus nodded again, but continued to stare blankly at his father.  
Snape stood up from Albus and walked back over to Harry, just as he heard Potter groan- he was awake.  
“Potter, can you hear me?” Snape asked urgently, hoping that Greyback hadn’t created some nonsense concoction.  
Harry didn’t open his eyes and continued to moan; he couldn’t hear Snape at all.  
Snape was about to ask for a second time if Harry could hear him, when Harry yelled:  
“Mum! Dad! Run! He’s coming! Voldemort’s coming! Stop playing with my toys and run! Get out! He’s going to kill you!”  
Snape froze to the spot as he watched Harry’s face change from panic to sadness and fear.  
“He will kill you and then Dumbledore’s going to send me to the Dursley’s and I hate it there! They’ll abuse me and never tell me the truth about Voldemort. Please, please, please get out of here! I don’t want to do this all over again!” Harry pleaded and Snape could see tears sliding down Harry’s face despite his eyes remaining closed.  
Snape then turned to look at Albus who was now sitting up and yelling.  
“Dad? Dad, are you okay?” Albus sobbed. Hearing his father in so much pain was torturing the boy.  
“If you live then I’ll continue living with you and I’ll be happy! Together we could fight Voldemort and perhaps then Sirius and Dumbledore wouldn’t have died. But please listen to me! I don’t want to do this alone!” Harry yelled between his sobs.  
“Why can’t you hear me? Listen to me! It’s me, Harry! Look out the window; Voldemort is coming! Please get out of the house or hide or do something! Don’t keep playing with my toys, Dad!” Harry screamed in panic. Snape couldn’t remain silent anymore; he had to do something.  
“Potter!” Snape yelled over Harry’s cries of anguish. “Potter! It isn’t real! Wake up!”  
“Dad, wake up!” Albus pleaded with his father, who couldn’t hear either of them. Wanting to get closer to his dad as if hoping to comfort him, Albus stood up and walked towards them.  
“Stay where you are, Mr Potter,” Snape commanded, wanting to make sure Albus didn’t get too close incase something went wrong.  
“No! I want to be with my dad!” Albus yelled at his Professor with tears in his eyes. “I don’t care if you give me detention! I want to be with him!” Albus continued as he began to sob.  
“Run! He’s coming through the front door. Please save yourselves; I need you!” Harry begged as he sobbed still harder.  
“Stay away from my parents!” Harry yelled, presumably at the Voldemort only he could see in his mind. “Hey, Voldemort! Listen to me! Why can’t anyone hear me?” Harry demanded of Voldemort who apparently didn’t hear or answer him.  
“Dad!” Harry yelled as he sobbed. “No! I told you to run away, I told you! Mum! Save yourself! Don’t worry about me. Don’t go upstairs to my room! He’ll catch you, you know he will and then you’ll die and I’ll have no one!”  
Snape shook Harry hard, trying to get the man to wake up from the terrible vision he was having.   
“Potter! Wake up! It is not real!” Snape yelled again, hoping against all hope that the man would hear him.  
“Wake up, Dad!” Albus yelled as he ran towards his father.  
“Mr Potter! I told you to stay where you are!”  
“But my Dad is sick and I want to help-”  
“It may be dangerous I need you to stay away until your father comes out of this trance.”  
“What if he never wakes up? What if he stays like this forever and it’s all my fault?”  
Snape looked into Albus’ eyes realizing that he didn’t know exactly what happened before he arrived. Is it possible that the boy walked out of the school grounds and was then attacked by Greyback and the Dementors? Did Harry come to save his son just in time?  
“Your father will be fine, Mr Potter,” Snape asserted, though he didn’t know if what he was saying was in fact true.  
“But you don’t know that! Mum will kill me, my brother and sister will hate me and I won’t have my dad anymore! I’ll be expelled- I could have killed my dad!” Albus cried, hysterical as he fell to the ground and began crawling towards Snape and Harry.  
“Albus, please stay where you are. I know you are upset, but I need you to listen to me,” Snape said in a calm however commanding voice. He didn’t need Albus’ worries to escalate the anxiety Snape was already feeling. He needed to concentrate and figure out what possible potion could be affecting Potter.  
“No, Mum! Listen to Voldemort! He really will spare your life! Don’t die for me, please don’t die!”  
“POTTER!” Snape yelled out of desperation and pain as he realised Harry was currently reliving Lily’s death; Snape’s conversation with Albus caused him to lose track of what exactly Harry was seeing.  
Suddenly, Snape realised something so terrible and so traumatizing and yet he was glad he had finally worked out what potion Greyback forced Harry to drink, though how the man obtained it, he had no idea.  
Snape turned to Albus and said to the boy: “Mr Potter, I need you to hug your father.”  
“What?’ Albus sobbed, tears rolling down his face. “Why?”  
“It should force him to come back to the physical world and not relive the past- for now,” Snape said, silently begging the boy to do as he asked. Albus stood up and walked slowly towards his father’s writhing body: “Mum? Mum! No! Please stand away from me- save yourself! I’ll be okay!” Harry continued to yell and the longer Albus stared, the more he began to fear his own father. Harry sounded out of control and distraught and the eleven year old boy didn’t think a hug could possibly help.  
“I can’t…” he whispered.  
“What? You wanted to approach him not so long ago. Why can’t you hug him?” Snape replied aggressively out of panic rather than anger.  
“He’s scaring me,” Albus whispered as he watched his father continue to yell and cry out in emotional pain as he relived one of the many horrors of his past.  
But Snape could understand what Albus meant as he too watched Potter and noticed just how pathetic a hug would seem when Potter was experiencing something that could never be healed with a hug. Although Snape didn’t fear Potter or his state, now that he knew what potion Greyback had given the man, he could only curse himself for ever creating such a potion as he bent down and hugged Harry.  
Albus was so shocked that Snape actually did such a thing, he sat there watching the two men remain in the embrace for a good thirty seconds before Snape let go of Harry, who had stopped screaming, though his breathing was quick and his eyes were still closed.  
“Potter, can you hear me?” Snape asked quietly, now that there was no yelling to talk over.  
“Mmm, Dad?” Harry asked, obviously not completely back to his senses as of yet.  
“No, Potter. It’s Snape,” Severus answered.  
“Oh… Snape…” Harry replied as he tried to sit up.  
“No, Potter. Stay where you are; you’re not well.”  
“Why? What happened?” Harry asked, confused.  
“You don’t remember?” Snape asked, looking worried.  
“Umm- oh my god! Albus!” Harry exclaimed as he sat bolt upright to be confronted with Snape’s concerned face.  
“Lie down, Potter,” Snape ordered as he placed his hand on the man’s shoulder to push him back down.  
“No! Where’s my son?” Harry yelled, forcing himself against Snape’s hand.  
“He’s right here,” Snape said not turning around to check.  
“I don’t see him,” Harry said, panic rising in his voice.  
“What?” Snape turned around. Harry was right; Albus was not standing behind Snape like he was only moments ago. Cursing the boy for disobeying him, Snape stood up and yelled for the boy, but there was no reply.  
“Where’s Albus? Is he okay?” Harry asked, staring at Snape, wanting answers.  
“Physically, he is fine, but emotionally… perhaps not. I need to get you to hospital wing-”  
“I’m fine-”  
“I disagree-”  
“I feel fine, they were just Dementors-”  
“Unfortunately, it wasn’t just Dementors, Potter,” Snape replied procuring a stretcher for Harry.  
“I am fine, Snape!” Harry yelled when he saw the stretcher. “I am perfectly capable of walking and besides, I want to find my son!”  
“I will find your son, you need to rest-”  
“I’m fine!”  
“If you keep denying it, I will have to stun you,” Snape said. He hated threatening Harry, but he knew the man needed medical attention and he also wanted to find Albus before the boy got himself into any more trouble.  
“I have my wand. I’ll duel you if I have to!” Harry exclaimed, realizing that nothing mattered more to him than finding Albus; he had to make sure his son was safe.  
“You are too weak to duel,” Snape asserted, starting to get frustrated with Harry.  
“Then let me find my son and then I’ll let you take me wherever you want to-”  
“You are in no position to argue with me, Potter! You are not well. I will find your son and you will go to Poppy this instant! Or I will stun you- I do not give empty threats!” Snape yelled, wanting Harry to understand just how serious he was being.  
Harry paused, staring at Snape. Harry could tell Snape was concerned. He knew that Snape wouldn’t want to hurt him or his children, so Harry agreed to go with him, but not on the stretcher.  
Snape helped Harry stand and assisted him as they walked towards the front door of Hogwarts.

*****

“My god, Severus! What happened?” Minerva exclaimed as she saw Snape and Harry walking towards the hospital wing.   
“In a minute Minerva, Potter needs to lie down and get some rest.”  
“Where’s Albus?” Harry asked of Minerva. “Is he hurt?”  
“What? Albus is missing?” Minerva asked, turning pale.  
“No, Potter, he isn’t hurt and don’t worry yourself, Minerva, I will find him, just give me a moment,” Snape replied, trying to calm the woman down as he laid Harry on a bed in the hospital wing. Thankfully no one inhabited the wing and the teachers had been ordered to ensure all students remained in their common rooms, so no students were looking in on the situation which Snape greatly appreciated.  
“Potter, you need to rest,” Snape said quietly to Harry who was looking up at him, wanting nothing more than to search for his son.  
“I want to find Albus,” Harry replied through clenched teeth.  
“I know, and I promise to find him for you,” Snape replied.  
Harry stared at Snape as if trying to detect if the man was lying. Finally Harry realised he was being serious and truthful in his assertion.  
“Once you’ve found Albus, please bring him to me,” Harry requested in a resigned voice.   
Snape nodded.  
“What happened after I blacked out?” Harry asked Snape, realizing that he had no idea why Snape was so worried about him.  
“I’ll tell you once I have found your son,” Snape said calmly but it was difficult as he began to remember exactly what did happen. What puzzled Snape was that he noticed only a few scratches on Albus’ face; the boy sustained no serious injuries. This was so unlike Greyback that it worried Snape immensely. He had to make sure the boy was okay.  
“Poppy?” Snape asked the matron who had just entered the room. “Please give Potter a potion for dreamless sleep. I will be back once I have found Mr Potter,” Snape ordered as Madam Pomfrey nodded her understanding.   
“Are you sure you don’t want me to find Albus for you Severus? You look tired,” Minerva asked concerned.  
“No I insist upon finding the boy and I believe I know where he could be. What’s the password to Gryffindor tower?” Snape asked the headmistress.  
“Bravery,” Minerva replied, shocked that Snape even considered going into the Gryffindor common room, but she soon realised that Snape had changed since she last saw him twenty years ago. He had changed for the better.  
Snape ran from the Hospital Wing and sprinted to the Gryffindor common room, hoping against all hope that Albus would have gone to his brother and cousin for comfort. If he was still in the grounds, Snape didn’t even want to imagine what could have happened to Albus by now.


	15. ... of love, loyalty, and innocence...

“Bravery,” Snape puffed at the Fat Lady. The portrait moved aside so that Snape could get past. Snape hadn’t even thought about the consequences that would arise when he walked into the Gryffindor common room; although the students didn’t hate him as such, they didn’t find him friendly and thought him to be slightly sinister. When he entered the large room, it seemed like every Gryffindor present froze in mid-action to look at the person who had just entered. Finally, a boy in fifth year who was in Snape’s defense against the dark arts class spoke up:  
“Is it okay if we leave the dormitories now?”  
“No, it would be best if you all go to sleep,” Snape said as he looked around for Albus.  
“What happened, Professor? Did something happen to Harry Potter?” Another student asked, looking slightly worried.  
“Um, yes, but he will be fine,” Snape replied hesitantly.  
“What happened?” James demanded wanting to know what was wrong with his father.  
“This isn’t the place to discuss it. Everyone please continue with your activities,” Snape announced, hoping to speak with James and Rose in private to see if Albus had spoken to them. Slowly the students continued on with their homework, assignments or general gossip and once everyone seemed distracted, Snape made his way over to James and Rose.  
“What’s happened to my Dad?” James demanded again.  
“Your father- well I do not know the full story, but from what I understand, your father arrived just outside Hogwarts and was attacked by Dementors and Fenrir Greyback,” Snape whispered because he didn’t want the other students overhearing.  
Rose put her hand to her mouth in shock and worry.  
“Is he okay?”   
“Yes, he will make a full recovery, though it may take a few days.”   
“Can I go and see him?” James asked, looking slightly worried too.  
“Yes, but I think I should go with you, Mr Potter. But the reason why I came up here was to ask you if you have seen your brother,” Snape asked looking eagerly at the two students in front of him.  
Rose and James looked at each other. Finally Rose answered.  
“Albus came to the common room not long ago, but he didn’t talk to us and just went to his dormitory. We both went up there to find out what was wrong, but he was upset… he didn’t want to talk to us…” Rose looked down, obviously hurt and confused as to why her cousin didn’t want to talk to them.  
Snape was relieved that Albus was safe, but he felt a little sorry for James and Rose; they still didn’t understand why they were rejected.  
“Do you know why Al is upset?” James asked; he had the feeling that Snape knew something they didn’t.  
“Yes, but I insist that I see him first and if he desires, he can tell you both what happened later- I really must speak with him. After I have finished talking to Mr Potter, I will meet you back here and we’ll go together to the hospital wing. Do not leave the dormitory,” Snape said in a commanding whisper. Rose and James nodded as they watched Snape walk up towards Albus’ dormitory.  
Snape knocked on the door before entering.  
“Go away James!” Albus yelled in response, not lifting his head up from his pillow.  
“Mr Potter?” Snape asked, closing the door behind him.  
“Please, go away,” Albus whispered. Although Al didn’t feel it was right to tell his professor what to do, he really didn’t want to talk about what just happened.  
Snape walked over to Albus’ four poster and stood next to the bed, looking down at the back of Albus’ head.  
“I will not leave you until you agree to come with me to see your father. I promised him I would find you and bring you to him. As long as you come with me, we will have no need to talk about what happened,” Snape said quietly in what he hoped was a kind voice.  
“I don’t want to see my dad,” Albus replied.  
“May I ask why not?” Snape enquired, a little surprised that the boy didn’t want to see how his father was after everything that just happened.  
Albus shook his head, his face still buried in the pillow.  
“I don’t know why you don’t wish to see him, but I must emphasise the importance of me getting back to your father as soon as possible; I have much to discuss with him. I also want to ensure that your mother is contacted; it’s important that I speak to her too.”  
“Can’t you just go? I don’t need you to watch me,” Albus said, not in a rude tone, but as if he were pleading.  
“Unfortunately not, I promised to find you-”  
“And now you have, so-”  
“Your father wants to make sure you are okay-”  
“I’m fine-”  
“Not from what I can see-”  
“Just tell him I’m okay.”  
“You’re upset-”  
“So?” Albus was becoming a little aggressive now. He really just wanted to be left alone.  
Snape didn’t know how to reply. He wanted to say that they could talk about what happened, but he wasn’t the type of person who was good at emotional talks and people’s feelings. It was times like these that he wished Ginny or Harry were with him, but seeing as they weren’t and because he needed to convince Albus to visit Harry, he hoped that by encouraging Albus to talk, they may get further, even if Snape felt uncomfortable talking to Albus about something so personal.  
“We can talk about what happened if you wish,” Snape said in a serious tone, not wanting to succumb to the sympathetic side of himself just yet.  
“I can’t talk to you-”  
“Why not?” Snape asked, slightly offended.  
“You’ll think I was stupid or something,” Albus said defensively.  
“No, I wouldn’t,” Snape replied, trying to reassure the boy that he could trust him.  
“You don’t really want to; you don’t care- you just want me to cooperate!” Albus yelled, turning over so he could see Snape standing over him.  
Of course, Albus was essentially right, but at the same time, Snape was curious to know why Albus didn’t want to see his father.  
“I do want you to cooperate, but if you wish to talk about it then I will be content listening,” Snape replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Albus didn’t move from where he was lying, he didn’t seem to care that Snape was sitting so close to him.  
Albus was about to talk about his fears and worries and ask Snape what exactly was wrong with his dad, but then thought of a more pressing question to ask.  
“I saw your Patronus,” Albus said, looking Snape in the eye. “I can see why you didn’t want to show us on Christmas Eve,” Al said thoughtfully.  
Snape froze; that was a statement he was not expecting.  
“Patronuses are very personal to the conjurer. I did not feel comfortable revealing something like that to children I hardly knew,” Snape replied defensively.  
“You should have; she’s pretty,” Albus stated more kindly as Snape had just reminded him that the doe Patronus he saw must mean something to Snape.  
Snape simply nodded.  
“Can you tell me why your Patronus is a doe?” Albus asked, curious.  
Snape looked away from Albus, not sure if he wanted to share that information with the boy. But if he expected Albus to be honest with him, then perhaps he should tell him about Lily.  
“On Christmas Eve, your father mentioned that I was friends with his mother, Lily. Do you remember?”  
Albus nodded; he could sense what was coming next.  
“Well, Lily and I were actually very good friends. She was the first friend I ever had, we met before we went to Hogwarts and stayed friends until fifth year-“  
“Until you called her a ‘Mudblood’?” Albus asked, finally understanding why Snape wanted to hide that memory from his father.  
Snape nodded and continued: “Lily meant a lot to me. I was seventeen the first time I produced a Patronus and ever since then, it has been a doe; the same as Lily’s.”  
“So you loved my grandmother?” Albus asked wide-eyed with interest.  
Snape flinched at these words, because those exact words were what he never wanted to hear from one of Potter’s children, but alas, the words were now said, though not in the cynical tone Snape always imagined.  
“I guess so,” Snape answered, knowing full well that his relationship with Lily was definitely love.  
“You loved her didn’t you?” Albus said smiling a little; he realized that Snape wasn’t been entirely truthful.  
Snape stared at the boy, who had tear stains on his face, but nevertheless looked a little happy to find out what Snape told him, and nodded in spite of himself.  
“Wow…” Albus replied.  
In an effort to get back to Albus’ problems, Snape changed the subject.  
“Now that I have told you something, are you going to tell me what is bothering you, Mr Potter?” Snape asked.  
Albus contemplated this for a moment, before answering.  
Slowly Albus told Snape what was bothering him as if he were choosing his words very carefully.  
“I have always thought of my dad as being happy, carefree and having lots of fun with me, my brother and sister. He smiles lots and has always been there whenever we needed him. Never in a million years would I have guessed that my dad was the person who defeated Voldemort. I always thought that the person who did would not only be a good fighter and really brave like my dad, but also be… damaged and sad. When you were telling us on Christmas Eve about everything Dad had done in his life, I was not only shocked about what he did, but the fact that he’s still so… normal. I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t believe my dad did all those things, because it doesn’t seem like he’s suffered- on the outside anyway. And then tonight… when I heard him yelling for his parents to save themselves and he was crying and yelling and scared and never-” Albus began to sob as he continued to speak, “in my whole life have I seen him sad or scared like that. He really has suffered. Do you remember when he said he didn’t want to do it all over again- alone?” Albus asked Snape looking him straight in the eye.  
Snape nodded; it was hard to forget.  
“Well I thought, if he keeps having these visions, in a way he will be reliving it again and then what if he changes? What if it changes him? What if he’s no longer my dad and everything that has happened to him comes back and makes him depressed and sad and… different? He’ll go through it all over again because of me,” Albus concluded as he continued to sob; he felt guilty and worried greatly that his father wouldn’t be the same ever again. Snape now understood why Albus was upset about the incident, but it didn’t explain why the boy didn’t want to see Harry.  
“So why don’t you want to come with me to see your father?”  
“Because what if it happens again? There’s nothing we can do to comfort him! He believes what he sees is real! I can’t watch that again- I can’t! And he- he- he scares me!” Albus cried as he turned over and continued to sob into his pillow.  
Snape didn’t know what to do. Admittedly, he did understand where the boy was coming from; if he had a choice, he would rather not watch Harry experience another vision, but Snape had seen worse in his life and also focused more on Harry’s discomfort as opposed to his own; it was important to get Potter better. But the hug worked, as Snape knew it would and thought that this may cheer Albus up.  
“Hugging your father will stop the vision, so if it happens again, you will know what to do,” Snape stated encouragingly.  
“But he thrashes around and yells and it’s like he doesn’t want people to get near him,” Albus mumbled into his pillow.  
“I know, but you have to realise that he doesn’t know we are there and although consciously he believes he doesn’t need help, deep inside, he wants to be comforted,” Snape reasoned with the boy, not believing the words that were coming out of his mouth.  
“You hugged my dad,” Albus stated, turning over again- his tears had stopped.  
Snape paused. Of course the boy was right, but it was only at that moment that Snape realised that that is in fact what he had done.  
“Yes, I did and it worked.”  
“I didn’t think you would do that,” Albus said a little ashamed that he thought Snape was incapable of hugging another person, especially a person he used to detest.  
“Neither did I,” Snape answered looking away from Albus.  
There was an awkward pause between Albus and Snape, the silence was almost deafening. Finally, Snape asked:  
“What happened tonight? Why were you outside the grounds in the first place?”  
Albus looked ashamed as he replied:  
“I received an owl from Dad saying that he was here and to meet him just outside the front doors. I went to meet him, but he wasn’t there so I walked around the grounds. Then I saw what I thought was his Patronus, but as I got closer, it was just a white cloud of smoke or something, but by then I was off Hogwarts grounds and then the Dementors came. I called for my dad to help me, thinking he couldn’t be far away. Then I saw a person running towards me but it wasn’t my dad. I was really scared; the Dementors were surrounding me but I made sure I kept my mouth closed. A man ran to me and tried to hurt me but I was thrashing and kicking and fighting and I think he just gave up and simply lay on top of me so I couldn’t move. He looked really scary, but he didn’t hurt me much. But he did say that Dad wouldn’t be able to save me from the Dementors because he’d soon be dead-” Albus stopped abruptly, his eyes wide as he realised something.   
“My dad’s going to die, isn’t he?” Albus asked, tears in his eyes; if his dad died, there would be no one to blame but himself.  
Snape could see how worried Albus was and answered the boy truthfully.  
“No, your father will not die,” Snape tried to assure the boy, knowing that the potion won’t kill the man.  
“But how do you know?” Albus demanded, tears pouring down his face.  
“I know what potion Greyback forced your father to drink and I promise you it won’t kill him,” Snape said.  
“How can you promise me that? You can’t swear it won’t kill him! Greyback might have done anything to it! Dad could die!”  
“He’s not going to die,” Snape repeated again.  
“But, the night that Dumbledore died- Dad said the potion seemed to force Dumbledore to remember his sister’s death. Isn’t that like what Dad experienced? Oh no- Dad’s going to die!” Albus completely lost control and cried hysterically; there was no way his father was going to survive. Greyback said Harry would die and Dumbledore died from that potion- Harry said the potion Dumbledore drank was green- everything fit and all Albus could think about was that his father was dying and it was entirely his fault.  
Of course, Snape didn’t see it that way. He knew Dumbledore didn’t die from the potion he drank, not that Snape was about to tell Albus how Dumbledore actually died, but he needed to give Albus some form of substantial proof, otherwise he may never convince Albus to come with him and also, he didn’t want Albus to be crying all night about something that wasn’t going to happen.  
Snape tried to speak, but Albus’ crying was so loud, that he didn’t see the point in yelling otherwise he may as well announce it to the entire school.  
“Mr Potter, calm down so I can talk to you.” But Albus was beside himself and couldn’t control his sobs. Snape didn’t know what to do but knew he had to do something because the boy was beating himself up for no reason.  
“Mr Potter, listen to me. Your father is not dying-”  
“Yes he is! Don’t lie to me! I’m not a child you know!” Albus cried, his face buried in the pillow, though his speech was still audible.  
“I understand you are not a child, which is why I want to tell you what I know about the potion your father drank. So if you could just settle down, I won’t have to yell,” Snape said, in what he hoped wasn’t too harsh of a tone; he simply wanted the boy to calm down.  
“I- I can’t stop!” Albus sobbed. “I don’t know what I’d do without my dad.”  
“Just try to take deep breaths; your dad will be fine, I promise,” Snape said gently as he reached over to place his hand on Albus’ shoulder, which was still shaking uncontrollably. Snape was surprised the boy didn’t flinch at his touch and amazingly Albus began to calm down. Snape pulled his hand away from the boy’s shoulder when he turned onto his back to show his professor that he was ready to listen.  
“This… this will not sound…” Snape didn’t know where to begin. There was a lot he needed to tell, but he didn’t want Albus to be scared of him before he even finished.  
“What is it Professor Snape?” Albus asked, realizing that his professor wasn’t completely comfortable with what he wanted to say.  
Taking a deep breath, Severus began quietly: “The name of the potion your father drank is called Nocens Memoria,” knowing that that would be a good place to start.  
“But I’ve never heard of it,” Albus said a little confused.  
“That is because I invented it,” Snape said so quietly that Albus had to process the words for a second before fully understanding what the man said.  
“So you made that potion? Are you trying to kill my dad?” Albus yelled as he sat up and tried to get out of bed. But Snape was fast and grabbed the boy by the wrist and pulled him back onto his four poster. He thought that perhaps Albus would react this way, but he wasn’t going to allow the boy to escape until he had explained the story.  
“Mr Potter! Stay where you are; I need to explain what I-”  
“I don’t want to hear it! Why would you ever make a potion that horrible!”  
“Please, let me explain-”  
“No!”  
“Mr Potter! I will force you to stay here, even if that means using magic, so I suggest you stop trying to escape,” Snape said in a harsh tone; he knew how important it was that Albus understood the whole story before parading around the school that Severus Snape was trying to kill Harry Potter.  
“Let go of me!” Albus yelled as he tried to pull away.  
“Just listen to me for moment!”  
“You’re scaring me!” Albus screamed, staring fearfully into Snape’s eyes. Snape was stunned. Lily’s eyes had never looked at him like that before and without even realizing it, Snape softened.  
“Albus, I promise I will not hurt you. I would never want to hurt your father and if you just let me explain, you’ll know why,” Snape said kindly, letting Albus go.  
But Albus didn’t run as he realised that Snape seemed sincere, so he sat back on his bed, listening.  
“When I was eighteen I approached the Dark Lord, wanting to become a Death Eater-”  
“A Death Eater? Why would Mum and Dad ever name me after a Death Eater?” Albus demanded, speaking very quickly as he began to panic about being in the presence of such a person.  
“There is no need to panic, Mr Potter. I was a Death Eater but I swapped sides and began working for Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix,” Snape answered speaking in a serious tone.  
“I don’t believe you!” Albus exclaimed. After learning that Snape loved the Dark Arts and always treated his parents with contempt, Albus now felt that Snape truly was a Death Eater and that somehow his father was fooled into thinking that Snape was on his side. Albus realised that Snape hadn’t tried to hurt him as of yet, but he did create that potion that may potentially kill his father and everything was simply happening so fast that Albus’ reasoning was absent at present. Everything good his father had ever told him about Severus seemed to have escaped his mind; panic took over.   
“Get away from me!” Albus yelled out of fear.  
“No, Mr Potter, not until I have finished telling you what I want to say-”  
“It’s all making sense now; you like the dark arts, you made this potion, you hated my dad and now I discover you’re a Death Eater- it all fits! Why did Professor McGonagall ask you teach here? Is she crazy?” Albus asked as he scrambled out of bed and made it half way to the door before Snape grabbed hold of his upper arm and swung Albus around to face him. Snape bent down to maintain eye contact with Albus, who was looking angrily back at Snape trying to pull away, tears welling up in his eyes. Snape could tell the boy was scared and he couldn’t believe he was stupid enough to even mention that he was a Death Eater. However, the damage had been done and now all he had to do was try to fix it.   
“Mr Potter- stop trying to pull away!”  
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore! You’re a Death Eater!” Albus yelled at the top of his voice.  
“Shhh!” Snape hissed at Albus for he didn’t want the rest of Gryffindor tower charging into the dormitory.  
“No! I won’t be quiet! You’re going to hurt me and my dad!” Albus yelled, tears pouring down his face.  
“Mr Potter, do you remember what I was telling you not long ago? I will never harm you or your father. I know it is unnerving that you are talking to a Death Eater, but I assure you that I haven’t been a true Death Eater since I was twenty one and if you just let me explain you will understand the situation better and you won’t be so upset,” Snape pleaded, desperately wanting Albus to listen to him.  
Albus stopped trying to push away from Snape and relaxed his body. Slowly, Snape removed his hands from the boy’s arms and was thankful that Albus walked towards his bed and leaned against his pillow, watching Snape intently.  
Relieved that Albus was listening once again, Snape continued.  
“So when I was eighteen, the Dark Lord said I could become a Death Eater if I invented a potion that he thought was both ingenious and useful. But he also gave certain criteria: the potion needed to make the consumer forget where he was and what he was doing, making them weak and useless, but also for that person to survive, they must have another person with them. So I created Nocens Memoria which forces the drinker to relive upsetting or traumatising memories and, depending on how terrible the memory is the more damage it will do both physically and emotionally. If the consumer had no one with them they would die because the continued reliving of memories would eventually make them so weak that they would perish from lack of sustenance. But in the case of your father, he is surrounded by people and consequently, he will be safe from an everlasting vision of his worst memories. As you saw, the only way to stop the visions from occurring momentarily is to have another person hug the sufferer, so as long as someone is around to hug your father, he will be okay,” Snape said still kicking himself for ever thinking of such a stupid idea- hugging? What was wrong with him?  
“I brought my instructions and ideas to the Dark Lord. He thought I had some talent, took my ideas from me and manipulated them to suit his own needs. It was only when I heard your father talking about the night Dumbledore died that I realised what the Dark Lord used my potion for. He altered it so that the drinker would only experience visions after having a sip of the potion, stating that they want to die and also get extremely thirsty, no doubt according to his plan and the conditions within the cave. It is also possible that the Dark Lord’s version of my potion killed Dumbledore, but I assure you that mine does not.”  
Albus was speechless. He simply stared at the man before him.  
“I never had the opportunity to brew the potion I created until recently. When I found my notes in my lab I decided that I would concoct the potion and see how it would turn out. I finished the potion only shortly before school began in the new year and stored it securely in my lab. Greyback must have somehow entered my house and managed to get past all of my defenses to obtain the potion. I have no idea how he could have managed it… there is no way he could have known what the potion did, so it must have been a petty guess.” Now Snape was thinking out aloud rather than telling what Albus needed to know. Realising that he was getting off the topic, Snape looked at Albus to see how he was taking the news.  
“So my dad isn’t going to die?” Albus asked, slowly, as if the information was only just sinking in.  
“No, he’s not,” Snape said relieved the boy finally understood.  
“Does my dad know everything you just told me about the potion?” Albus asked, quietly.  
“No, but I will tell him,” Snape assured the boy, wanting Albus to understand that he was not going to hide something so important from Potter.  
“Do you know how to make him better?”  
“Yes, but unfortunately the antidote will take three full days to brew, but while I am making it I will keep a close watch on your father.”  
Albus nodded and then asked, remembering what Snape said earlier in the conversation: “I assume that you swapped sides otherwise Dad wouldn’t have named me after you… why did you swap?”  
Snape could see this coming, but instead of just saying the simple words, he thought that perhaps telling the whole story would be suitable.  
“You know the prophecy made about your father and the Dark Lord?” Snape asked, realising that this could be another occasion where Albus attempted to escape him.  
Albus nodded a little fearfully.  
“I was the Death Eater who heard it and I was the one who told the Dark Lord about it- but,” Snape added quickly before Albus could interrupt him. “I had no idea who it referred to and had I known that it referred to Lily’s son I never would have told the Dark Lord. When I found out that the Dark Lord thought the prophecy referred to Harry Potter, I went to Dumbledore and asked him to do everything in his power to protect Lily. He agreed and from that point I turned spy for Dumbledore and stopped working for the Dark Lord. The night that Lily was killed, I felt it was my fault she died. Dumbledore suggested that I help him protect your father in honour of Lily’s sacrifice. So for the six years your father was at Hogwarts, that’s what I did. Although it has been many years since then, I still have no desire to cause harm to your father or his children. I promise you that I had no intention for that potion to be consumed, especially by your father,” Snape emphasised, wanting Albus to understand that he wasn’t danger to him or his family.  
“But he did drink it and even though you say it won’t kill him, what if it changes him? What if he ends up reliving all the bad things that happened to him? What if his memories are so bad that he becomes really weak and he never gets better?”   
Snape could tell Albus was starting to feel guilt and worry again, and he wished the boy would stop blaming himself.  
“You said the worse the memories, the weaker the person becomes and my dad’s past is so bad that what if he does die-”  
“That’s not going to-”  
“But what if you didn’t know the potion would do that? What if he dies?” Albus cried again, realizing that this potion, no matter what Snape says could severely affect his father- all Albus wanted were for things to go back to the way they were. Snape didn’t know what to do as he simply watched Albus cry out of fear and guilt. Surprisingly, Snape felt empathy for him and realised that when Lily died, he would have loved for her to have been there and told him that it wasn’t his fault. Perhaps Albus just needed to see his father and hear those words come from Harry’s mouth.  
“Why don’t we go to your father and you can talk to him; it will make you feel better-”  
“N-no, he’s going to be so disappointed in me and I hate it when my dad is mad at me and what if he has another vision again? I can’t do it!” Albus sobbed, sounding both scared and helpless.  
“I see that you are upset, but I really need to bring you to your father. Your cousin and brother are waiting for us in the common room so that we can go to the hospital wing together,” Snape pointed out, hoping that that would cease Albus’ sobbing, but to no avail.  
“What are they going to say when I tell them what I did? Rose will lecture me for disobeying the rules and James will be annoyed that I can’t do anything right,” Albus cried, having completely forgot, until Snape reminded him, that his brother and cousin still had no idea what he had done.  
“I am sure they will be forgiving, Mr Potter-”  
“No they won’t! You don’t understand how mad they’ll be! James will never let me forget it and Lily will give me her sad look and Mum won’t love me like she used to and Dad just won’t be Dad and the whole family will fall apart because of me!”  
“And yet, none of that will hurt as much as you will hurt yourself,” Snape said quietly.  
“What do you mean?” Albus asked through his tears.  
Snape paused; having listened to Albus he realised just how much the boy was like himself. Answering the boy, Snape stated: “The night Lily died, I felt so guilty for what I did, even though Dumbledore told me it wasn’t my fault. I spent the rest of my life protecting her son, always remembering why I was protecting him in the first place: I killed his mother and father. Even to this day, I still feel guilty for killing them- I haven’t forgiven myself-” Snape said sorrowfully, allowing his emotions- for a moment- get the better of him.  
“But it wasn’t your fault! You had no idea the prophecy was about my dad!” Albus exclaimed, even though tears were still falling.  
“I know, but I still can’t forgive myself. I wouldn’t want you living the rest of your life, punishing yourself for causing your father a few days of pain. Sure the pain is intense and unpleasant for all of us, but he will recover-”  
“But after everything he has been through, maybe he’ll crack, maybe he’d be the person I thought he should have been: sad and damaged, but I don’t want my dad to be that way!”   
It seemed that Snape’s attempts at convincing Albus that it wasn’t his fault wasn’t what was bothering him, but if his father would change as a consequence of the potion.   
“Listen to me, Mr Potter; your father has been through a lot in his life and granted, his memories will be particularly traumatizing and will possibly make him very weak, but while I am here, I will not let him die. That I can promise you,” Snape said kindly as Albus sniffed in response. “Although I cannot promise you that your father will be exactly the same man he was before he drank the potion, I will tell you this.” Taking a deep breath, Snape continued: “I don’t know your father that well, but I watched him grow up when he was at Hogwarts and I saw the things he did. As Dumbledore always reminded me, there was only one way Harry was not going to defeat the Dark Lord and that was through the power of love. Your father loved every human being, muggle and magical alike. He told you on Christmas Eve that he was willing to sacrifice his life for the good of the world and as you know, that helped him to survive. There are very few people in this world that would make such a sacrifice, but your father is one of them. I have seen the way he acts around you and your siblings, and I can tell that he cares for his family more than anything else ever could. So while you may fear that he will change as a consequence of this potion, I watched him survive the real thing nineteen years ago. He had his friends who supported him; they kept him grounded from the very beginning. Reliving it again won’t be pleasant, but I believe that if you and your family stood by him like his friends did all those years ago, I am sure he will get through it again and he will continue to be the wonderful father you love so much.”  
There was silence. Albus had tears in his eyes, but he was smiling nonetheless and even Snape felt his heart racing; he couldn’t believe he just said those things to Albus; he had no intention of taking it so far, but at least now he hoped Albus would not burden himself so heavily with guilt; he didn’t want that for the boy.  
But before Snape even knew what was happening, Albus reached out and hugged his professor whispering: “Thank you.”  
Snape was so taken aback that he just sat there, not knowing what to do. Eventually, when it seemed the boy wouldn’t let go, he wrapped his arms around Al and hugged him back. It was a strange moment for both Snape and Albus, but neither of them were really disturbed by what was happening; they were content.   
“I’m ready to see my dad now, Professor Snape,” Albus said, tears still in his eyes.  
“Very well, after you,” Snape said as he stood up from the four poster and allowed Albus to walk in front of him down the stairs.  
Snape couldn’t help but feel elated as he walked to the hospital wing with James, Albus and Rose. Many would think that perhaps Snape was delighted that he was finally going back to Harry so that he could examine the man and talk to him about what was happening. But that assumption would be quite wrong; Snape was happy that he prevented the boy from making the same mistake he did; after all, nothing is more painful than guilt.   
As Snape walked down the many corridors, he felt happy; he couldn’t really explain the feeling, but knew that it was the happiest he had felt in years.


	16. If you want to know what a man's like...

“Severus, I tried to administer the potion, but he refused to take it,” Madam Pomfrey said as Snape followed the three children into the Hospital Wing. Poppy was expecting Snape to be annoyed with her, but Snape knew how stubborn Potter could be.  
“Hi, Dad! Are you hurt?” James asked as he approached his father, who was sitting up in bed.  
“No James, I’m fine,” Harry replied smiling, delighted to see his two sons and niece.  
“Potter, we need to talk,” Snape interrupted because although Potter was currently unaware, he wasn’t ‘fine’.  
“Just let me talk to the children first okay?” Harry suggested, staring at Snape.  
Snape nodded. It was only when Snape turned around to get his potion supplies from the dungeon that he noticed Albus still hadn’t entered the room. Although Al told Snape he was ready to see his father, nothing prepared him for the sight of his father in bed and the possibility of another vision occurring.  
“Mr Potter, it is safe to enter the hospital wing; no one’s going to bite,” Snape asserted, sneering a little; not that he thought the boy actions were unreasonable, but after the moment he and Al just had in the dormitory, Snape felt it was necessary to keep up appearances whilst around Harry.  
“Come here, Al. Are you alright?” Harry asked realizing what kind an ordeal his son must have had earlier that night. As Al walked towards his father Harry could tell immediately that his son was upset and worried. Nevertheless, Albus answered his father with a smile on his face.  
“I’m okay, Dad,” but then the boy turned to look at Snape and added, “but you’re not, Dad.” Harry followed his son’s gaze to Snape’s concerned expression and realised that something must be wrong. Perhaps he did need to talk to Snape about what happened…  
“I’m so sorry, Dad…” Albus mumbled at the ground.  
“Al, it wasn’t your fault,” Harry said, reaching towards his son who had tears in his eyes.  
“What did Al do?” Rose asked, realizing that perhaps her cousin had something to do with the Dementors and Greyback.  
“Yeah, Al. Why didn’t you talk to us in the common room?”  
“Did you want to talk about it, Al?” Harry asked kindly.  
“Um… is Mum coming?” Albus asked looking between his father and professor.  
“Yes,” Harry replied; “Professor McGonagall sent her an owl when I arrived in the hospital wing. She won’t be much longer,” Harry asserted. “Did you want to wait until she arrives?”  
Albus nodded; he didn’t want to talk about it twice.  
“While we are waiting, I need to set up a few things. I will not be long,” Snape asserted, turning to leave the wing.  
“Professor Snape, where are you going?” Harry asked curiously.  
“I am going to my lab Potter; I need to begin brewing an antidote for you-”  
“But there’s nothing wrong with me! I feel perfectly normal!” Harry explained; he didn’t feel ill at all.  
“Nevertheless Potter, I know different so I am going to get started on it, regardless of whether or not you believe me,” Snape asserted as he left the wing.  
“Is someone going to tell me what’s wrong with Dad? Al, what happened?” James demanded.  
“You know Al doesn’t wish to talk about it until your mother gets here James, so stop-”  
“But you don’t even know what’s wrong, Dad. Don’t you want to know?” James insisted.  
In truth, Harry did want to know what was wrong with him, if anything. But at the moment, Harry was happy being in denial until his son was ready to discuss the matter.  
“James, I feel one hundred percent healthy so if there is something wrong, it’s not going to kill me and I think we can wait until your mother arrives, don’t you?”  
James simply crossed his arms; he hated not knowing what was happening, especially when Albus did. Rose was also suspicious; she knew that if Professor Snape was making a potion for her uncle then Harry was either cursed or had swallowed a potion himself. Neither option sounded good to Rose, but she didn’t want to force the matter if her uncle and Albus didn’t want to talk about it yet.  
Just then, Madam Pomfrey entered the hospital wing, addressing Harry.  
“Mr Potter, your wife has arrived. I am just going down stairs to let her in as Minerva is busy at present. I will not be long,” she said kindly.  
“Thanks, Madam Pomfrey,” Harry said, relieved his wife would soon be joining them and Albus can talk about what he and Snape were convinced was wrong with him.

Once Poppy left the room however, Harry started to feel dizzy, even though he was lying down and before he knew it, the faces of James, Albus and Rose disappeared and he was consumed by the darkness of his cupboard in Number 4 Privet Drive.  
“Dad?” James yelled, realizing that even though his father’s eyes were closed, his eyes were moving vigorously under his lids.  
“Uncle Harry, wake up!” Rose demanded, shaking her uncle’s arm.  
Al began to walk away from his father’s bed; he knew what was coming.  
“No! No! Don’t put me in here again! Uncle Vernon, please; I’m hungry! I haven’t eaten in two days!” Harry pleaded with the vision in his head. “There’s no such thing as magic, I’m sorry for ever saying it! Please let me out of here!” Harry continued to plead. Rose’s eyes began to tear up, James was still vigorously shaking his father whilst Al stood frozen, staring.  
“Albus, do you know how to stop this?” James demanded, turning around aggressively, looking at his brother as if it was his fault their father was having visions. But Al didn’t reply; he couldn’t speak- he felt sick.  
“Uncle Harry, it isn’t real! Wake up!” Rose yelled in a high pitched tone filled with panic. But Harry’s vision didn’t cease and although Al knew how to stop it, he couldn’t vocalize it- he couldn’t believe what he had done- not even Severus’ reassuring words from an hour ago comforted him now.

Ginny was running up the stairs to her husband, but began sprinting when she heard her niece exclaim with worry. Ginny halted at the doorway and couldn’t believe what she saw: her husband writhing under the white sheets of his bed, her youngest son standing stock still only two metres in front of the doorway, and James and Rose making fruitless, however valiant attempts to help Harry. All three children turned towards her, as Ginny ran towards Harry and looked into his face, panic rising within her.  
“Poppy!” Ginny yelled, hoping the matron wasn’t far behind her.   
“I know you never wanted me- that I was just dropped on your doorstep! You never loved me- you don’t even care but could you have at least pretended to? Then I would have at least had some form of childhood? Some understanding of what a family is supposed to be? Why aren’t you listening to me?” Harry demanded, tears escaping from beneath his eye lids.  
“It’s not real, Harry. Please wake up!” Ginny pleaded feeling completely useless. Poppy just arrived and froze when she saw the scene in front of her.  
“Poppy, do you know how to stop this?” Ginny asked the matron, praying that she did.  
“No, Ginny, I’m sorry. But Severus probably does-”  
“Expecto Patronum!” Ginny yelled so quickly Poppy only just saw the silver horse before it galloped towards the dungeons.  
“It’s your fault it took Ginny several months to convince me that I could be a father! Sure I may be capable of love, but what is that if you don’t know how to use it, a problem of which I can safely say you both have. If all I’ve known is abuse and neglect how was I supposed to have a family? You made me question me ability to be a father- to raise my children because of your selfishness and unwillingness to love me even for a second-”  
“Harry, please wake up!” Ginny pleaded as she shook her husband vigorously. “Where is Severus?” Ginny yelled desperately, she hated being out of control and hated the look Albus was giving her; normally she could fix anything- never had she felt so useless.

“Ginny, you need to hug him,” Snape said as he entered the room and felt the distress emanating from the hospital wing.  
“What? Hug him? But he’s moving around… are you sure that’s what you have to do?” Ginny asked, hurriedly. Snape was surprised the woman hadn’t already acted.  
“Yes, I am sure, now do it!” Snape ordered, not wanting to be required to step in because Ginny wasn’t able to hug her husband.  
“I want to die!” Harry yelled, making everyone turn immediately towards him- no one spoke.  
“Please kill me! I hate it in here! If you kill me then I’ll be with my parents and people who love me-”  
“Oh Harry!” Ginny cried.  
“Would you hug him for god’s sake?!” Snape yelled.  
“Kill me!” Harry pleaded through his sobs.  
“Damn it,” Snape muttered as he walked forward and paused next to Potter’s bed. He looked towards Ginny who could only stare at her husband with wide, teary eyes. The three children were similarly staring, Albus crying silently and Madam Pomfrey looking anxious; not knowing what Snape was about to do. Ginny was near Harry’s head so Snape couldn’t reach Harry to do what needed to be done.  
“Move aside, Ginny,” Snape ordered as he gently moved the distraught woman to the side so he could get past. Snape looked down at Harry’s tear stained face, he couldn’t believe he was doing this- again.  
“Kill me!” Harry yelled as he continued to thrash around.  
“This will,” Snape replied quietly as he bent over the man, lifted him up with difficulty, almost getting slapped in the face by Harry’s flailing arms. Once he had his arms behind Potter’s back, Snape pulled Harry towards him and embraced the still screaming man. Snape could feel Harry’s heart beat hammering against his skin, but after a few short seconds, Snape felt Harry relaxing, his breathing was still quick, but Snape could tell he was coming back to consciousness. Severus could hear Ginny breathing quickly, almost hyperventilating behind him.  
“Poppy give Mrs Potter a calming draught,” Snape ordered, still holding onto Harry. Poppy didn’t answer, but Snape knew she heard him as he saw her run into her office out of the corner of his eye. Moments later, Poppy returned with the potion and handed it to Ginny, who had to be calmed down by the matron before she could swallow the liquid. Rose and James were watching Snape closely from the opposite side of the bed that Severus and Ginny was standing on, their eyes wide with shock and apprehension. Albus was still standing near the door, tears pouring down his face; seeing his father be in so much pain was traumatic enough, but to watch his mother break down was too much for Al- what had he done?   
Harry started to move slowly, but before Snape could put the man down and move away from the bed as fast as possible, Harry opened his eyes.  
“Snape? Why are you hugging me?” Harry asked, embarrassed, though his embarrassment was nothing compared to Snape’s for he had no intention for Harry to find out what he did. At Harry’s words, Snape quickly let go of Harry and asserted angrily:  
“That’s the last time I am doing that. Next time, one of you,” looking at James, Al, Rose and Ginny, “can do it”. Snape stood up and began to walk away, but Harry called after him.  
“Snape, no! Please don’t go; I didn’t meant to offend you, I just wasn’t expecting you to be hugging me,” Harry explained. It was only now that Harry realised that his face was wet with tears.  
“What happened? Have I been crying or something?” Harry asked, looking around at all the faces staring at him.  
No one answered. Harry looked towards his wife, a little confused. He didn’t remember her arriving- perhaps he fell asleep.  
“Ginny, you arrived! But-” as Harry looked closer he realised something had upset his wife greatly.  
“Ginny, what is it?” Harry asked, sitting up straight. “Is Lily okay? Are you alright?” Harry continued, wanting to know what was upsetting his wife.  
Ginny nodded and then ran to her husband and broke down in tears as she hugged him tightly.  
“Ginny, what’s wrong honey?” Harry whispered into her ear, worried that something terrible had happened; Ginny was rarely beyond words. But Ginny couldn’t answer; she was dissolved in tears. Albus had dried his tears quickly when his father woke up and felt the need to ask his professor something, but didn’t know if the timing was right. Deciding that what he desired to know outweighed all other potential problems, Albus approached his professor and whispered;  
“Professor Snape, that didn’t happen last time-”  
“Last time? You mean this has happened before?” James asked, shooting daggers with his eyes. Albus cowered under his older brother’s accusatory gaze.  
“What has happened before?” Harry asked, looking between his two sons.  
“You don’t remember?” Ginny asked between sobs.  
Harry shook his head. “Why? Did I do something?” Harry asked, realizing that perhaps he was ill- he did feel a little tired at present, but the presence of his wife and children were keeping him alert and preventing him from succumbing to sleep.  
“Will someone tell me what happened? Albus, what did you do to Dad that you don’t want to tell us?” James asked loudly, staring at his brother knowing that Al would only act this secretively if he had something to do with it. All eyes were on Albus- the poor boy had a fresh rush of tears escape as he realised it was all his fault. Understanding how Albus must have been feeling, Snape answered James.  
“Mr Potter informed me that he received an owl from you father. The letter requested that your brother meet your father at the front door to the castle. Mr Potter went to the door but couldn’t see your father so went looking for him around the grounds. He then saw what he thought was Potter’s Patronus which led him outside of Hogwarts grounds-”  
Ginny gasped, and Albus bowed his head, ashamed. Snape continued.  
“When he approached the Patronus he realised it was just a cloud of white smoke. Soon thereafter, Dementors approached and surrounded him. Potter arrived in time to help your brother. Greyback then arrived and tried to attack your brother, but he put up a good fight. Greyback stopped trying to hurt your brother, but your father thought he was injured. Potter failed to produce a Patronus to deter the Dementors away from Mr Potter, probably because he was worried about your brother. The Dementors then went after your father and left Mr Potter on the ground, no doubt he was weak from the presence of the Dementors and consequently remained still. Without his Patronus, your father became weak and he passed out. I then arrived and my Patronus forced the Dementors to retreat. By then, however, your father was unconscious and before I knew what was happening, Greyback tipped a potion down your father’s throat.” Snape paused and noticed Rose and Ginny with their hands over their mouths, eyes opened wide with shock, Albus was still looking at the ground and James was simply staring at Snape. Turning to Harry, Severus continued.  
“Not long afterwards, Mr Potter and I witnessed you relive the moment your parents died…” Harry turned pale; he never would have wanted Albus to have heard his cries for his parents. Normally he wouldn’t have wanted Snape to hear him be so vulnerable, but he was beyond that now, especially after he found the man hugging him.  
“I don’t remember that happening… what did I say?” Harry asked, looking between Snape and Albus.  
“That you didn’t want to do it again-” Albus whispered.  
“Do what again?”  
“It- fight Voldemort- you didn’t want to do it without them- your parents,” Albus answered quietly.  
Harry paused, thinking about how strange it was that he would say something like that when he knew very well that Voldemort was defeated for good. Out of curiosity, Harry asked: “What was it like? Obviously I wasn’t in my right mind, but-”  
“You wouldn’t wake up,” Albus interjected, feeling his sobs coming again. “It was like- at that moment- what was happening was the worst thing in the world and you were so upset and thrashing around and there was nothing we could do!” Albus continued quickly, his sobs getting the best of him.  
Harry didn’t answer, but thought about what his son had said; he never wanted Albus to hear such things, but Harry was now more focused on the potion… the symptoms were eerily familiar.  
“So, it was-”  
“Terrible,” Al muttered and began to sob uncontrollably.  
“Come here, Al,” Harry said. Albus walked towards his father, climbed onto his bed and hugged him tightly.  
“I’m so sorry, Dad,” Al sobbed, “I never should have walked outside the grounds and then this wouldn’t be happening!”  
“Al, this isn’t your fault! I’m just glad I was there to help you and that Snape was there to save us both,” Harry added, looking at Snape briefly.  
“But you’re still sick!” Albus cried. “That potion is affecting you and it’s only going to get worse”.  
“How do you know?” James asked aggressively.  
“Professor Snape told me-”  
“Well I don’t see why Snape couldn’t have told me and Rose too-” James asserted bitterly.  
“Professor Snape, James,” Harry corrected his son.  
“You call him Snape!” James counteracted, furious.  
“He’s not my professor, James-”  
“It doesn’t matter, Potter; I do not mind if he calls me ‘Snape’-“  
“He is showing a lack of respect and I won’t let my son get away with that-”  
“When you were my age, you called him ‘Snape’!” James yelled defiantly.  
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think this matters,” Rose interrupted. “What I want to know is the name of the potion Uncle Harry drank.”  
Everybody looked towards Snape, who had no intention of telling James that he invented the potion and hoped Albus would have some sense not to mention it. However, the name wouldn’t be an issue; not even Rose could find any information about it seeing as only Snape and Voldemort knew about it.  
“The potion is called Nocens Memoria-“  
“I’ll be right back!” Rose asserted as she ran from the hospital wing. No one had any doubt about where she was going, though only Snape and Al were aware that her trip to the library would be pointless.  
“Anyway, we have seen the symptoms of the potion, but luckily I will have the antidote ready in three days and-”  
“Luckily? You think this is lucky? If it was so lucky, how come you didn’t tell Rose and me when we were in the common room? But no- instead you spent almost an hour talking to Albus!” James yelled at Snape, feeling hurt that Al found out all of this before he did and Al was the one whose fault it was in the first place.  
“James, apologise to Professor Snape right now!” Ginny said, not believing the bias James seemed to have towards Snape.  
“No!” James yelled and stormed out of the hospital wing before anyone could stop him.  
But Snape didn’t care because now that James was gone, he felt the need to inform Harry and Ginny what he told Albus.  
“Poppy, could you please excuse us?” Snape asked politely of the matron.  
“Of course,” she replied and walked back to her sleeping quarters.  
“So what exactly is this potion doing to me?” Harry asked Snape once Poppy had left.  
“It forces you to relive your worst memories, but you believe them to be real and you won’t accept any other reality. It appears that your state of mind symbolizes your current self who is literally reliving the past, so you know what will happen, but not what has happened. For example: in the case of your first experience, you knew you had fought the Dark Lord once before and that you didn’t wish to do it again, but you didn’t know that you killed the Dark Lord and hence, you weren’t aware that it cannot happen again-”  
“So with the vision Dad had about the Dursleys it was like he knew he was married to Mum and had us, but didn’t know that he was a good Dad, sodidn’t realise there was no need to blame them?” Albus interrupted. Snape noticed that Albus seemed much happier now that James wasn’t around.  
“Correct,” Snape replied.  
“What was my last vision about then?” Harry asked, already knowing that it involved the Dursleys and his having a family.  
“You were at the Dursleys and you blamed them for me having to spend a while convincing you that you would be a good father- you were very upset about it, sweetie,” Ginny said whilst stroking Harry’s head.  
“Is it true you didn’t want to be a dad, Dad?” Albus asked. Snape was looking with interest at Harry; if what Ginny said was true then perhaps the Dursleys affected Harry more than even Dumbledore was willing to believe.  
“It’s true, Al, but trust me, I haven’t a single regret since becoming a father. I always felt I could be a good father, but a part of me thought I may fail… but I didn’t know why I felt that way- I guess it was because of the Dursleys…” Harry wondered out loud, trying to make sense of his vision.  
“I think so, sweetie,” Ginny asserted, nodding her head in agreement with Harry’s reasoning.  
“Okay, well is that all the potion doing then? Forcing me to relive my past?” Harry asked, a little deterred by how the potion seemed to bring out some of his deepest worries. After all, he really didn’t want to go through the process of killing Voldemort again and he also feared that he wasn’t the best father James, Al and Lily could have, but he pushed these fears aside… until now.  
“No Potter. The frequency of your visions will increase as will the toll they have on your mind and body. You will likely become weak and tired so Poppy and I will be monitoring you carefully. Also, as you may have realised, the only way to stop any one vision from continuing is if someone hugs you,” Snape said hoping that his face was impassive.   
“But what was the thing Al said didn’t happen last time?” Harry asked looking between his son and Snape.  
“This time you said you wanted to die,” Al whispered.  
“And I didn’t say that the first time?”  
Albus shook his head.  
“Why? How was this time different?” Harry asked.  
“Well, it seems that the first time you came to before it got to that, but this time, no such luck. But you should get used to it; your desire for death will increase as the potion continues to affect you.  
Harry gulped. “Not to be dramatic but this potion- was it green?” Harry asked.  
Albus nodded in response.  
“The potion I drank… do you think it was the same one Dumbledore consumed in the cave?” Harry asked Snape.  
“They’re similar,” Albus replied. Harry and Ginny were surprised their son seemed to know so much about the potion.  
“How do you know this, Albus?” Ginny asked. And then remembering the lie she, her husband, brother and friend told the children, she panicked. “Albus, you don’t think your father is dying do you? Because Dumbledore didn’t die from-”  
“It’s okay, Mum. I know; Professor Snape told me-”  
“I will explain it to them, Mr Potter,” Snape interrupted Albus, in case Ginny and Harry believed he told Albus who really killed Dumbledore and mentioned it to Albus.  
“Are we missing something? Exactly what did you tell Albus, Snape?” Harry asked curiously.  
“That he invented the potion you drank-”  
“Mr Potter-”  
“What?!” Ginny exclaimed, her eyes wide.  
“Hang on a second; how did this happen?” Harry asked, staring at Snape, not quite believing what he was hearing.  
“Mr Potter, please keep your mouth shut this time before your mother and father hex me to oblivion,” Snape muttered through his teeth.  
“They won’t hex you, Professor Snape; at least they know you were a Death Eater-”  
“You told Albus you were a Death Eater?” Ginny asked, shocked that Snape would do something like that after being so against telling him on Christmas Eve.  
“Well I either told him I was a Death Eater or have him believe you were going to die like Dumbledore did,” Snape told Harry defensively.  
“So exactly what did you tell Al?” Harry asked.  
“Oh! Can I tell them?” Albus asked excitedly. Snape was tempted to say ‘no’ but thought that perhaps it would help Albus recover from the night’s events.  
Snape nodded.  
“Well I thought Dad was dying because the potion sounded a lot like the one Dumbledore took and died from. I was really upset, thinking that Dad was going to die and it was all my fault. So, Professor Snape told me that when he wanted to become a Death Eater, Voldemort asked him to create a potion that fit all these criteria. So he wrote down the ingredients and procedure and stuff. He showed it to Voldemort and he liked it. Professor Snape then believed Voldemort used his potion as the basis of the one he created to protect the locket Horcrux but changed it so that the consumer would die. But Professor Snape reassured me that his potion wouldn’t kill Dad. Anyway, only recently Professor Snape brewed the potion and stored it in his house. He thinks that Greyback must have got through his protective charms around his house and stole the potion to give to Dad. But the good thing is because Professor Snape made the potion, he knows exactly what ingredients are needed to create the antidote,” Albus stated excitedly. Harry and Ginny couldn’t believe how happy Albus seemed to be about the situation. Strangely it did reassure both Harry and Ginny that Snape brewed the potion because they knew how important it was for the antidote to be just right. However, neither of them could believe just how ironically lucky it was that Snape made the terrible potion Greyback decided to use. However, there were some questions Harry still wanted answers to, but didn’t feel comfortable asking them when Albus was around.  
“Albus, do you think you could go to the Gryffindor common room and make sure your brother and cousin are there?” Harry asked his son kindly.  
“Okay! I’ll be back!” Albus answered excited that Snape and his parents were going to talk, though he hoped Snape wasn’t going to get in trouble for making the potion.  
Once Albus left, Harry turned to Snape and asked:  
“Do you have any idea what Greyback is trying to accomplish?”  
Snape paused, thinking. Finally he answered: “No, I have no idea what he was hoping to achieve by attacking you and giving you this potion. The only possibility that seems to fit is that he wants to cause havoc and pain. But what concerns me is that he seems to have a plan and consequently he must have a goal, we just don’t know what it is,” Snape asserted.  
“Well, I suppose all we can do for now is ensure all students stay within the grounds and that no one is careless with regard to security. Everyone will have to be on the look out; even though Greyback seems to only want to harm Harry, for Al didn’t get injured, everyone must be aware of what he is capable of,” Ginny stated, realizing that awareness and preparation will be the most effective way of protecting the other students seeing as they have no means of thwarting Greyback’s plan.  
“I agree Ginny, but we really should try brainstorming possible goals Greyback may have in mind. Why else would he want to attack me? Do you think he knew what the potion would do to me?” Harry asked Snape.  
Snape shook his head. “No one except me knew what that potion did; there is no way he could have known.”  
“So perhaps it was a mistake on his behalf. What if he chose the wrong potion by mistake?” Ginny asked.  
“That is always a possibility, but I am more concerned about how he broke into my stores in the first place…” Snape answered.  
“Did you put up any security charms?” Ginny asked.  
“Of course, I did.” But even as Snape said it, he began to wonder how Greyback could have possibly gotten past them. “But regardless of how he broke in, one thing is for certain- he is not as clueless as he once was.”  
Harry nodded in agreement. “It seems that only recently he has begun to make plans that seem to be working. He managed to trick Al into leaving the grounds and seems capable of both Legilimency and Occlumency. In the last nineteen years, he must have been practicing or training for some purpose. The question is why,” Harry said in a mysterious tone, causing Ginny and Snape to consider Harry’s words. It was clear to all three of them that Greyback was up to something, but what it was, they still had no idea.  
“Well I think we can safely assume that he is the one who has been releasing the Dementors,” Ginny asserted, breaking the silence.  
“But again, the question is how; he doesn’t work for the ministry, so someone must be helping him-”  
“But no one would help Greyback, not after so many years of peace in the wizarding world,” Ginny intervened, trying to convince herself that no one would desire to create havoc, except Greyback.  
“You will be surprised what people would do for power,” Snape said quietly.  
“I know, but life has been wonderful these past years. I just hope Greyback does not ruin it for us- for our children.”  
“We’re going to do everything we can to ensure that doesn’t happen, Ginny,” Harry consoled his wife.  
“But he has the Dementors on his side and we are just so lucky they didn’t kiss anyone tonight. They are terrible creatures and with their alliance, who’s to say what they and Greyback could and could not do?” Ginny asked, looking between her husband and Snape.  
“Well I think it is best if we just push it out of our minds for now; we’ll make sure Minerva emphasises the dangers to the students and in the mean time, until we work out what Greyback’s motives could be, our goal is to get you better,” Snape said, looking at Harry, determined to get the man back to normal as quickly as possible; he did not know what he would do if his potion caused irreparable damage to Harry.  
“Well, if we are no longer discussing Greyback, then can we discuss Al? Did you really speak to him for an hour?” Harry asked Snape with great interest.  
“Yes, do you have a problem with that, Potter?” Snape snapped back in defense.  
“No, I just didn’t think you would do that-”  
“You told me to find your son and bring him to you. Finding him was easy, but convincing him to see you wasn’t. He was upset- he thought you were dying and that it was his fault, so I spent an hour convincing him otherwise. Why does that surprise you?” Snape asked aggressively.  
“You just don’t seem the type-”  
“Well obviously I’m not the type, but I didn’t want the kid believing you were dying when you weren’t, so consequently, I had to explain a few things to him so he would understand.”  
“What else did you tell him?” Ginny asked kindly; she was grateful to Snape for comforting her son.  
“He must have been very upset and scared, how did you get him to listen to you?” Harry added, extremely interested to know about Snape’s more sensitive side.  
Snape was deeply amused; never did he imagine the possibility that Ginny and Harry Potter would be asking him such questions about their son.  
Snape smirked as he answered: “He didn’t want to talk to me and I told him we didn’t have to if he went to visit you, Potter. But he didn’t want to see you- I’ll explain why later,” Snape added, realising Harry would feel hurt that his own son didn’t want to see him. “Your son broke the silence by introducing the topic of my Patronus-”  
“Did you tell him about my mother?”  
“Well, he realised it was a doe and assumed it was representative of a woman I cared about. So I told him about Lily, yes,” Snape replied quietly.  
“How did he react?” Ginny asked, surprised that Snape revealed something so personal to Albus.  
“I never found out because I then confronted him with why he didn’t want to see his father,” Snape stated, looking meaningfully at Harry. “He was convinced that you were going to die because the potion seemed similar to the one Dumbledore drank. I tried to convince him that you would live, but he accused me of not knowing for certain. He was upset, thinking that he had killed his father, so I told him that I created the potion and consequently, I could say for certain that you wouldn’t die. He then accused me of trying to kill you, thinking that I was helping Greyback. I denied it, stating I wouldn’t want to kill you, but he still didn’t believe me. Then I told him I was a Death Eater and you heard from his mouth as to what happened next.”  
“Didn’t he want to know why you swapped sides?” Harry asked.  
Snape nodded. “I told him that too, so basically the only thing he doesn’t know is that I killed Albus,” Snape asserted, hoping he’d never have to tell Albus that fact; he had already experienced Albus’ reactions to the other secrets he decided to keep.  
“You still haven’t told me why Albus didn’t want to see me,” Harry stated. Snape wouldn’t be surprised if that was all Potter thought about since he mentioned it.  
“Was he okay after you explained everything to him? Did he want to see Harry then?” Ginny added, hoping that her son’s desire to avoid Harry wouldn’t hurt her husband’s feelings.  
“No, he still refused to come with me-”  
“So what did you so?” Harry intervened wanting to know exactly what Snape did or said to his son to change his mind.  
“Albus informed me that his father was always happy and in control and therefore he hated hearing your cries of fear and pain- he was afraid that if he went to visit you, it may happen again-”  
“Oh my god, it did! I had another vision- I never wanted this for-”  
“Potter- he’s okay now and besides that wasn’t his main concern-”  
“There’s more than one reason why he didn’t want to see me?” Harry asked, staring at Snape, his heart sinking.  
“Another reason was that he feared both of you, your son and niece would dislike him or love him less for disobeying the school rules and forcing his father to relive his past-”  
“We would never think any less of him for-”  
“He knows that now, Ginny; he was upset and worried at the time,” Snape reassured the woman.  
“Well, we can safely assume James supported Al’s concerns,” Harry added.  
“I think it was pretty obvious that Albus feels more comfortable without James,” Snape asserted having observed Albus’ behaviour.  
“So… was that all Al was worried about?” Harry asked, praying that would be the case.  
“His final and I think most significant worry was that you would change because you were reliving the worst aspects of your past. He told me that when he first heard about the boy who defeated the Dark Lord, he thought that person would be sad and traumatized and never did he think that person would be you. But now, he is worried that the visions will possibly make you the man he thought the ‘Chosen One’ should have been and he didn’t want his father to be that way. He didn’t want to watch you change right before his eyes-”  
“So what did you say to convince him to see me anyway?” Harry interrupted really wanting to know how the man managed it.  
“I told him that it was unlikely you would change-”  
“And he believed you?” Harry asked, shocked.  
Snape shook his head.  
“So what did you say?” Harry asked, almost as a demand.  
“I…” Snape began, but couldn’t continue, although he meant everything he said to Albus at the time, to repeat it to Potter was unthinkable. But as he looked between Potter and Ginny, he knew that Harry would never give up asking until he knew what Snape did to convince Albus to see him.  
So, Snape took a deep breath and staring at the ground, replied in a quiet whisper: “I told him that I watched you defeat the Dark Lord the first time and that friendship and love was important to you then and that it still is. I reminded him that the real experience didn’t change you and consequently, I felt the potion wouldn’t either. Nevertheless, whether or not you change, I reminded your son that you love him and would want him with you because his father couldn’t do it without him.  
An awkward silence followed Snape’s quiet words. Finally, Harry spoke:  
“Did you really say that to Albus?”   
“No, I just thought I’d make a pathetic, soppy speech in the middle of the Hospital wing just for the hell of it,” Snape hissed sarcastically back.  
As if carried by some unknown force- probably her heart- Ginny left her husband’s side and walked across the room towards Snape. Snape noticed the woman had tears in her eyes as she hugged Snape gently. So much was going through her mind that she couldn’t even express it: Snape was so kind to her son, to her and to Harry and although she never would have trusted Snape to console her son before this moment, she was grateful the man was there when Albus needed someone. She had developed a new respect for the man, and thought that perhaps he could have been a good father- something of which she never would have even suggested prior to this moment. But now she had proof that Snape was not only brave and courageous, but kind and that meant more to her than a hug could ever express. And yet, despite the lack of words spoken in the few seconds Ginny embraced Severus, the man could feel how grateful Ginny was and patted her softly on the back to let her know he was glad he could help. Snape was also watching Harry who was staring back at Snape with tears in his eyes. He always knew Snape was a good person, but this kind and this understanding was something Harry never foresaw. Harry was glad that Albus witnessed first hand who Severus really is and hoped that one day Lily and James would have the great privilege of witnessing how the choices we make really do show who we truly are.  
Snape was feeling slightly uncomfortable and pulled away from Ginny saying in what he hoped was a not-so-serious tone: “I think I’ve hugged enough people for one day.”  
Ginny smiled, tears still sliding down her cheeks as she walked back to her husband’s bedside. Still shifting slightly under the gaze of Harry and Ginny, Snape returned to the more urgent topic that now needed to be addressed.  
“I have all the ingredients I need to continue brewing tomorrow. Luckily it is the weekend so I’ll be able to monitor the potion and keep an eye on you. Until the potion is finished, which won’t be until Tuesday morning there is not much we can do except ensure you remain as healthy as possible. Although you may feel okay now, I expect the symptoms will worsen by the morning. Ginny is of course, welcome to stay- I am sure Minerva will not object. The potion will be ready for the next stage of brewing in,” Snape looked at his watch, “eight hours, so I best get some rest as should the both of you. I will ensure your children and Miss Weasley are in bed before I rest for the night. See you in the morning,” Snape said rather quickly as he turned to leave the room; there was nothing more to be discussed.  
“Severus,” Harry said, wanting to catch the man before he left. Snape spun around with an impassive look on his face.  
“Why a hug?”  
As strange as this question sounded, Snape knew what Harry was implying. Despite the huge ordeal surrounding the potion, very little concern was dedicated to Snape’s actual creation of the potion.  
Snape thought seriously about the question before answering Potter. Finally he replied, smirking a little: “The Dark Lord wanted me to create a potion that required the presence of another human being in order for the sufferer to survive. When I created Nocens Memoria, I was hoping the Dark Lord would see the ingenious behind my choice of temporary remedy. Of course, the Dark Lord thought hugging was a stupid, foolish idea but as I have shown tonight, it isn’t as flippant as he thought. Before tonight, I believed that to hug someone experiencing the effects of the potion you must first care for the sufferer and second, be intelligent enough to think of it. But after tonight I have witnessed something quite different; your wife and son, despite how much they love you and despite them satisfying the other criteria, they still couldn’t hug you and there in lies the magnificence that the Dark Lord never acknowledged,” Snape stated as if he’s been dying to say this since he invented Nocens Memoria. He was always proud of the creative merit of the potion even if he never wanted it to be consumed.  
“So seeing as you did hug me, exactly what does that mean?” Harry asked, wanting to know what philosophical explanation the man gave; having heard the complex answer given to the first.  
Snape frowned a little as he replied: “It means I knew what needed to be done and that I care enough to humiliate myself in such a way, but not so much that I froze at the sight of you in such distress. I did what I knew had to be done,” Snape concluded, more to himself than Harry and Ginny as if trying to justify to himself exactly why he hugged Potter- twice.  
“Well- thank you,” Harry said, a little taken aback.  
Snape nodded and left the hospital wing with a small smile on his face. Snape knew that for most of his life he protected Harry to honour Lily. But now, Snape couldn’t help but consider whether a small part of him cared for the man himself, Harry Potter. As Snape walked towards the Gryffindor common room he was shocked when he realised that a part of him hoped that Harry felt the same way…

Not long after Snape left the Hospital Wing, Ginny went home to Lily; she had put up every protective spell she knew around Grimmauld Place to ensure no one could get to her daughter, but felt it would be too foolish to stay the night at Hogwarts and return to a panicked nine year old the next morning.  
Harry settled into the white sheets, took off his glasses- he didn’t even need to take the dreamless sleep potion because he could feel Nocens Memoria taking over. Although he was worried about what Greyback might do next, he felt too weak to think about it any further than he, Ginny and Snape had already discussed. Hoping that Albus wouldn’t suffer too greatly from the nights events and that all three children were safe in bed, Harry fell into a restless sleep.


	17. There are horrors in your past

The night Greyback and the Dementors attacked Harry and Albus was heavily published in the Daily Prophet the following morning. Detailed descriptions of Greyback and even the Dementors were given and all readers were warned to avoid dark, secluded areas where possible. All the reports however seemed to be under the impression that all individuals were at risk and despite Hermione’s attempts to convince them otherwise, the media saw it fit to keep everyone on their guard nonetheless. Of course, Snape and the Potters knew better; Greyback was specifically after Harry, though they weren’t any closer to figuring out why.  
After Albus was excused the previous night, he did as he was told and went to check that his brother and cousin were in the common room. As he suspected, both were still awake and talking quietly in the corner, even though everyone else had gone to sleep; it was past midnight. When Al entered, Rose looked up happy to see that her cousin no longer seemed traumatized. James on the other hand was still annoyed that Al didn’t tell him what happened to their father when he first confronted him after the incident and secondly that he disobeyed the rules, causing trouble. James was also annoyed with Snape for keeping his father’s condition a secret. Neither James nor Rose knew the intricate details about the potion like Albus, Harry and Ginny did, having heard Snape’s confession in the hospital Wing. Albus had every intention of sharing his knowledge with his friends, but after seeing James’ angry face, enduring a five minute lecture (which he thought would come from Rose), and watching James storm off to his dorm, Al decided to tell them another day. Instead of returning to his father and mother, Al thought a private conversation may be important for the three adults to have so he want to sleep in his dormitory, being careful not to disturb his fellow students. Rose similarly went to bed, a little disappointed that she didn’t find anything in her books or the library about Nocens Memoria, so she concluded that either the potion was rare or extremely dangerous. Because Snape knew about it, it couldn’t have been a creation of Greyback’s, so Rose was forced to accept that Snape was extremely knowledgeable of potions, for no author seemed to know about it; Rose never considered the potion was created by Snape and went to sleep that night content that there were many things that Professors could teach that books could not- there was a lot she could learn from Professor Snape.  
After Snape left the Hospital Wing he checked to make sure Rose, Albus and James were in their beds before heading to sleep in his own quarters. When he arrived he found a note on his desk written in straight, cursive writing.  
Severus,  
I informed the ministry the moment I found out what had happened. Kingsley wrote to me saying that the Dementors have now been caught and placed in a high security location with only high ministry officials as guardians. Unfortunately Fenrir managed to escape the Aurors, but the media are actively campaigning the desired capture of him. Of course this means Potter must be alert as well as anyone else closely related to him as I have no doubt that Fenrir was after Harry specifically. I assume yourself and Mr. Potter have discussed the possibilities surrounding Fenrir’s motives though I have no ideas of my own, I hope you do. I am about to visit Potter to see how he is and to find out in more detail exactly what happened. Also I took the liberty of informing Ronald Weasley and his family about the occurrence, though they probably already know due to their positions at the ministry, they are aware of the situation at Hogwarts, though I am sure Ginny will write to them when she next gets the chance. I am most grateful you found Harry and Albus in time and hope that you are well. I trust you will have a good nights sleep.  
Minerva McGonagall

Snape concluded that Minerva must have only just left the note because he didn’t see her at the Hospital Wing or in the surrounding areas. Perhaps by now Minerva knew Snape’s part in the whole incident, including his involvement in the creation of Nocens Memoria. He hoped however, that she wouldn’t hold it against him and- like Potter- focus more on the health and survival of Harry.   
Snape tried to get to sleep but couldn’t empty his mind long enough to succumb to unconsciousness. This was a strange occurrence for Snape; he could always fall to sleep if he put his mind to it. But now that the more urgent matters were taken care of, Snape returned to Greyback’s entering his property in the first place. One thing Snape knew for certain about the subject was that it was particularly, if not entirely his own fault because only Dumbledore or the Dark Lord could possibly discover how to get through all of the protective charms he places around Spinner’s End and his lab. Someone like Greyback could never figure it out, even if the man did learn Occlumency and Legilimency in the last nineteen years, Snape knew that the advanced magic required to enter his house was far beyond Greyback’s capabilities. After one hour of continued thinking and analysis, Snape got out of bed, checked on the remedy potion for Potter before flooing himself to Spinner’s End. When he landed in his living room, he didn’t notice anything different which meant that Greyback didn’t force his way in which means…  
Snape glided towards his front door and opened it. Immediately, Snape knew what had happened and cursed himself for being so careless. Remembering back to the day he left Spinner’s End, Snape realised what must have happened and couldn’t help but be impressed by Greyback’s deductive reasoning.  
The night Snape left Spinner’s End was also the night Greyback met him on his front doorstep. Surprised to see the man there, Snape closed the door behind him and after conversing with Greyback for several minutes about rather disturbing topics, Snape completely forgot to replace the charms around his house before leaving. Snape now realised that it was no coincidence that Greyback was there that night; the man was probably standing there just waiting for Snape to leave. Snape felt a little worried that Greyback had managed to fool him in such a way and couldn’t help but wonder if somehow Greyback was more than a deadly threat as a werewolf but now as a wizard.   
Snape then went to investigate his lab and again couldn’t see any sign of a struggle either, though Snape had to admit that the defenses around the lab were nothing compared to those around his house. Also because he had only just finished brewing Nocens Memoria, he hadn’t put any charms on the vial yet. Snape couldn’t believe how perfect Greyback’s timing was. Snape stared around his lab, allowing Greyback’s actions to sink in; he couldn’t believe what had happened and hoped Harry would forgive him for being so careless. Remembering to put all of the charms up before he left, Snape added extra security charms around his lab and the floo network before returning to his office. Once he returned to bed, he fell straight to sleep; he was tired and now that the question surrounding Greyback’s entering his lab had been solved, Snape contented himself with the idea of visiting Lucius the following day which allowed him to peacefully fall asleep.  
Such bliss couldn’t be said about Harry who had various dreams throughout the night. Although he fell asleep soon enough, it was clear that his mind was plagued by the visions he had earlier that night and although Harry didn’t know it, when he wasn’t dreaming he was experiencing more visions which required Poppy to leave her bed to give the man a hug and a check up. Harry could feel the emotional and mental weakness taking over him just like Snape warned him. The longer he slept he felt more tired and exhausted and Harry shuddered to think what condition he would be in the following morning.  
Ginny returned home to find Lily as she left her- sound asleep. She then climbed into her own bed but, like Snape, couldn’t sleep; thousands of thought were running through her mind. What would she have done if Harry wasn’t there to save Albus and if Snape wasn’t there to save them both? What exactly would happen to her husband as the potion progressed? And most importantly, what exactly did Greyback want?   
Eventually Ginny did manage to fall asleep, thinking about Snape and all the man had done that night- she never would have expected it of him or of anyone for that matter but was nevertheless glad that such a man exists. For the first time since she found out about Snape and Lily’s being friends, Ginny understood why Harry’s mother befriended Severus.  
The following morning, Ginny was woken by her daughter who was running around the house, having fun. Once she came to her senses, Ginny’s thoughts went immediately to her husband and hurried out of bed to get dressed, have breakfast and inform her daughter what occurred the previous night. She didn’t know how Lily would react to the news; would she be more afraid of the attack, the symptoms or be grateful that her father would be okay? Ginny wasn’t sure, but decided not to tell Lily that Snape created the potion as neither Rose nor James knew it either. After cooking breakfast, Ginny sat down with her daughter and explained where she went the night before and why. Lily was horrified about the Dementors and Greyback and how close they were to her brother and father. She was relieved that Snape was there to deter the Dementors away but was primarily concerned about the potion and the affect it had on her father. Ginny hoped that Lily would never witness one of Harry’s episodes, but thought it unlikely; Ginny planned to stay at Hogwarts over the weekend so she was always up to date with Harry’s progress. After packing the necessities, Ginny took Lily to Hogwarts via Apparation, keeping alert for any sign of the Dementors or Greyback. Thankfully the two of them managed to get to Hogwarts castle safely. They were greeted by Minerva who escorted them to the hospital wing and a still sleeping Harry.

When a majority of the school was having breakfast the morning after Greyback’s attack, Minerva rose from her seat to make what she felt was a necessary speech.  
“May I have your attention, please? As many of you are aware, Harry Potter is now residing in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts-” Several conversations broke out. Minerva cleared her throat for silence and continued: “Last night several Dementors and a notorious wizard by the name of Fenrir Greyback were discovered just beyond the boundaries of Hogwarts. Mr. Potter, unfortunately was forced to consume a potion that requires him to remain here until he is well which should be by Tuesday morning. I ask that nobody visit the Wing unless you are injured and that you do not pester Mr. Potter’s children for details. However, in light of the events that have occurred, two new rules have been put in place as of today-” A few groans were heard from various tables; Minerva gave stern looks to those she saw groan in protest. “Firstly, any student found in a location that cannot be seen from the castle door will receive detention and secondly, after 6pm every night, any student found outside the castle will receive detention and 100 points deducted from their house. I am sorry to introduce such harsh rules but for those who are not aware, Fenrir Greyback is a werewolf who attacks children even when it is not the full moon. Although he cannot get into the grounds of Hogwarts, there are several methods he may use to coax you out of the castle and I would much prefer all of you to return safely to your families in June. Have a good weekend.” Minerva watched as several of the students filed out of the Great Hall before leaving her own seat to return to her office. The previous night, she had spoken to Dumbledore briefly about what had happened. Of course, the man was uneasy, realizing that Greyback was obviously up to something. When Minerva discovered from Harry exactly what part Snape had to play in the ordeal, she was relieved but shocked when Potter informed her that Nocens Memoria was Snape’s creation from when the man was eighteen. However, when she told Dumbledore of Snape’s part in both Harry and Dumbledore’s experiences, stating that Snape’s potion was the basis of the one Albus consumed in the cave, Minerva was even more shocked by the smile Albus have her in reply.  
“Why are smiling at this news? Don’t tell me you already knew this?” Minerva asked, flabbergasted by how much the man knew without ever telling a soul.  
“Severus informed me soon after Lily’s death that he created a potion that he believed Voldemort would one day use. He told me what symptoms would likely occur and that a hug would temporarily relieve the sufferer. When I went to the cave, I had no idea that the green potion was composed of both Severus’ and Tom’s imagination, but after Harry and I escaped the cave I noticed that I couldn’t remember anything and felt unbelievably weak, I was reasonably sure that that potion was composed of Nocens Memoria. I returned to Hogwarts hoping to see Severus because of the Unbreakable Vow but also to tell him to what use Voldemort used his potion. I am glad he now knows- for I never had the chance to tell him. Although it is gravely unfortunate that Harry has now become a victim of Severus’ creation, rest assured that there would be no better person to cure him than Severus,” Dumbledore asserted as he stared over his half moon spectacles at Minerva who still couldn’t believe how much Albus trusted Snape despite everything he knew about him. Of course, his love and dedication to Lily was enough for Albus, but for those who didn’t value love so highly, Minerva now understood why perhaps Dumbledore chose to disclose as little information as possible about Severus; he realised that few would trust Severus even if they knew the whole truth and Minerva regrettably acknowledged to herself that she would have been one of those people.  
When Minerva sat down at her desk, she wrote a message to the ministry on Harry’s behalf, informing them that Mr. Potter would not be returning to work until Wednesday at the earliest. Harry had told Minerva this information the previous night and asked Minerva to send such a message when she next had the chance. After sending the letter with one of the school’s barn owls, Minerva was confronted with a horse Patronus which spoke in Ginny’s voice: “Lily and I are at the front door. Please let us in.” So Minerva stood up from her high backed chair and went to escort Ginny and Lily to the hospital wing.

Severus work up very early on Saturday morning and decided that he was first going to visit Lucius. He had thought over what he was going to ask the man several times the previous night and consequently he was prepared to travel to the Malfoy Manor for a quick visit. Knowing that Lucius woke up early every morning, Snape was sure he would be welcomed by the man. Snape exited the castle doors and was greeted by a fresh morning breeze. As he walked towards the clearing, he devised the ideal plan: visit Lucius, return in time for a late breakfast and then spend the rest of the day moving between the Hospital Wing and his lab. Apparating to a location close to the manor, Snape glided quietly to the doorstep and knocked on the door with the black and silver knocker. Sure enough, Lucius greeted Snape, a little surprised to see him for he hadn’t heard from the man since Christmas Day. However, Snape was no longer concerned with how the man may receive him like he was only moments ago, but by his friend’s appearance. It didn’t take a healer to realise that Lucius was tired and injured, though exactly how, Snape didn’t know. Normally, Lucius would stand tall and proud, but presently he was hunched over slightly and seemed to be holding onto the door frame for support. Snape was concerned and allowed himself to enter the manor silently before bursting with a request for an explanation to his friend’s condition.  
“I am sorry to intrude without an invitation, Lucius. I hope you are well?” he asked, interested to know if Lucius was going to confess on his own.  
“Not a problem, Severus. I was awake two hours ago as Greyback wished to speak to me.”  
Snape looked over Lucius, from his bloodshot eyes to the way he was standing. Horror filled Snape up as a million questions filled his mind.  
“Did he do this to you?” Snape asked, indicating Lucius’ body.  
“Do what?” Lucius asked. Snape noticed the man wasn’t even making an effort to sound convincing.  
“Look at the way you are standing, Lucius! It wouldn’t take a fool to realise you are injured! What happened?” Snape demanded.  
Realising that Snape wasn’t going to give in until he knew every detail of his conversation with Greyback, Lucius sighed and limped towards one of his many, expensive sofas. Snape watched the movements of his friend carefully before following the man and sitting opposite him.  
“Greyback told me what happened at Hogwarts last night. I assume Potter and his son are okay?” Lucius asked sounding only a little concerned knowing that Severus wouldn’t be at the Manor if they were in a serious condition.  
Snape nodded. “Well, Potter won’t be fully healed until Tuesday, but his son is fine.” Then realizing Greyback wouldn’t have visited Lucius to discuss what he accomplished, Snape pressed on: “You still haven’t told me what happened; do not think I am stupid enough to believe Greyback came here to brag.”  
“He woke me up, bashing on the door at five this morning. I opened the door only to be leviated into the wall. He was angry-”  
“No kidding,” Snape interrupted, slightly concerned that Lucius seemed slower than usual.  
“So why was he mad at you?” Snape continued dying to know what Greyback and Lucius had recently been discussing.  
“I told him that Veritaserum was green,” Lucius answered quietly looking away from Severus.  
Snape paused momentarily; he could see where this conversation was going. Deciding that he had best continue the conversation the way Lucius seemed comfortable, Snape simply replied:  
“Veritaserum is not green.”  
Lucius looked up at Snape and whispered: “I know”.  
Snape was now at a complete loss as to what Lucius was implying; he was becoming impatient with his friend.  
“So why did you lie to him, Lucius?” You know how vicious Greyback could get when he was working for the Dark Lord. I assume he hasn’t changed.”  
“No he hasn’t changed.” Lucius asserted quietly.  
“So why in god’s name did you lie?”  
“I knew what he planned on doing-”  
“And exactly what was he planning?” Snape asked wanting to know how much Greyback revealed to Lucius.  
“Greyback originally told me that he needed veritaserum for some purpose of which he didn’t vocalize to me. I told him that I didn’t have any to which he asserted that he planned to take some from your lab at Spinner’s End   
“And you didn’t think to mention this to me?” Snape asked, shocked that Greyback seemed to believe Lucius was supportive of his actions.  
“No; I didn’t think he’d be able to get in- did you forget to put the protections around your house?”  
Getting angrier with himself by the minute, Snape nodded.  
“That’s unfortunate, otherwise I would have told you, Severus.”  
“No need to defend yourself, Lucius; did you find out why Greyback wanted the veritaserum?” Snape interrupted, determined to know everything he could about Greyback’s intentions.  
“He then asked me what colour Veritaserum was- you’d think he could look it up, but apparently not-”  
‘Get on with it Lucius!” Snape demanded impatiently.  
“Anyway, I demanded to know why he wanted veritaserum before I told him what colour it was. He was stupid enough to answer that he planned to interrogate Potter-”  
“Harry Potter?” Snape interrupted, greatly concerned.  
“No, his son,” Lucius replied sarcastically. “Of course Harry Potter, what would either of his son’s know that Greyback would give a rat’s arse about?” Lucius snapped back.  
“Do you know what he hoped to find out from Potter?” Snape asked, deeply interested but worried at the same time.   
Lucius nodded his head.   
“What did he want to know?” Snape asked urgently, dying to know what Greyback could possibly want from Potter.  
“He hoped to interrogate Potter to find out the whereabouts of the Elder Wand.”  
Snape couldn’t think- he couldn’t breathe; how did Greyback find out the Deathly Hallows still exist? Didn’t he specifically tell the man that Potter had destroyed them all?  
“Severus? Are you okay?” Lucius asked, a little concerned that his friend had become completely silent.  
“He actually told you that he was looking for the Elder Wand?” Snape asked quietly.  
“Yes, he actually wanted me to help him find a new way of obtaining the information regarding its whereabouts-”  
“What!?”  
“I said ‘no’ of course,” Lucius continued hurriedly, wanting to make it clear to Severus that he was on his side.  
“Hang on, just wait a moment,” Snape said, trying to stay calm. “Greyback is trying to find the Elder Wand.”  
“Obviously, Severus; that’s what I just said.”  
“Do you think he knows that the cloak and stone are still in existence?”  
“He did not mention them, but one assumes that he does if he knows about the wand.  
But I am slightly confused, Severus; didn’t you say that the Deathly Hallows had been destroyed?”  
“Yes,” Snape answered.  
“So then why is Greyback looking for them? I would suggest that the man is wasting his time, but judging by your expression, I suppose his efforts may be worthwhile?” Lucius questioned, wanting to know if there is in fact something for him and the rest of the wizarding world to be worried about.   
Snape wasn’t sure if he should tell Lucius about the Deathly Hallows. He knew that Harry trusted the man, but did he trust Lucius enough to tell him such important information? Severus concluded that Greyback obviously knew that at least the Elder Wand was still in existence and therefore didn’t really see the harm in telling Lucius that Greyback’s suspicions were correct.  
“Since telling you that the Deathly Hallows were destroyed, Potter has since informed me that they are not. I do not know where they are located, but Potter does and obviously that is why Greyback wants to use Veritaserum against him. Thank god you lied to him, Lucius,” Snape said, truly grateful that his friend had the courage to lie to Greyback in the first place, otherwise god knows what kind of hell the wizarding world would be living in.  
“So they exist?” Lucius asked, not quite believing what he was hearing. Although the man always dreamed of the day he would get his hands on the artifacts, he never truly believed he would ever have the chance. Of course, Lucius had no intention of destroying the world he and the other wizards and witches spent years to rebuild, but nevertheless, he couldn’t deny that the knowledge that they still exist excited him a little.  
“Yes they exist and I do not think I need to tell you what life we would have if Greyback obtained all three.”  
“But you do not think the man is actually capable of doing such a thing do you?” Lucius asked, a little concerned.  
“Honestly? No, but I think he has the potential to get close if people are careless. For one thing, I have no idea how Greyback found out the Deathly Hallows still exist because I told him specifically that they did not.”  
“May be he could detect that you were lying?”  
“I do not think so because at the time, I genuinely believed they were destroyed.”  
“Well, no matter how he found out, the fact is that he knows and we must ensure he does not get the chance to interrogate Potter or any one else who may know where the Deathly Hallows are.”  
Snape wanted nothing more than to return to Hogwarts and warn Potter immediately of what Lucius was telling him, but he thought it best to obtain the full story so he could give an accurate recount of what Greyback is possibly planning to do and exactly what he did to Lucius. As Snape stared at his friend however, he began to realise that the man’s eyes were closing slightly, as if he were tired. Lucius looked weak and Snape became more concerned momentarily about the health and condition of his friend than the possible plans Greyback was about to undergo.  
“Lucius, are you okay?” Snape asked.  
As if Lucius awoke from a dream, he jumped slightly and answered: “Yes, I am fine, Severus. “  
“So, what exactly happened this morning? Tell me everything,” Snape insisted, having concluded that Lucius was okay, at least for now.  
“At five o’clock this morning, Greyback bashed on the door and once I let him in, he leviated me into the wall. I had no idea what his problem was at the time and it was only after continually bashing me against the wall and kicking me in the stomach that he actually decided to inform me exactly why he was angry. Greyback asserted that the potion he obtained from your stores was not veritaserum as Potter fainted and didn’t come to consciousness like veritaserum is meant to do. Basically he was furious that I didn’t give him the right information- a little reminiscent of the Dark Lord actually,” Lucius asserted as an aside. “I told him again that I thought veritaserum was green, but he detected that I was lying and hexed me for what felt like hours until eventually he decided I had suffered enough. Greyback then explained what happened. He’s furious with you, Severus,” Lucius stated knowing that Greyback would now be after both Potter and Snape.  
“I assume it is because I helped Potter that he is angry with me?” Snape inquired; he hadn’t considered how his rescuing of Albus and Harry would have added to Greyback’s dislike of him.  
“Of course. He also mentioned that your Patronus is a doe. Is that true?” Lucius asked sneering slightly, knowing that the doe was undoubtedly connected to Lily in some way.  
Snape nodded.  
“I didn’t know you could produce a Patronus,” Lucius stated more seriously.  
“It was a requirement of Dumbledore’s” Snape said dismissively.  
“Well, according to Greyback, his plan was running smoothly until you arrived. Because of you, even if he did obtain veritaserum, he still wouldn’t have succeeded and that fact made him furious.”  
“Do you know if he intends to try again?”   
“I believe so, but he realises that he’d have to find another way of obtaining veritaserum, which he now knows is clear,” Lucius stated, slightly ashamed of himself for giving into Greyback’s interrogation. Severus however, thought Lucius was already taking a risk by lying in the first place and thought no less of Lucius for giving in after the torture he experienced at Greyback’s hand.  
“Okay, was there anything else he mentioned while he was here?”  
“Not really, but I must assert that he appears much more resourceful than he was during the Dark Lord’s reign. Though I think I can safely say he no longer trusts either of us, he definitely has been planning something for quite a few years.”  
Snape nodded in response; he agreed one hundred percent with his friend. The only question was what Greyback wanted to achieve.  
“I think someone must be helping him,” Lucius continued, thinking out loud.  
“What makes you say that? Why would he ask you for help if he already has some thoughtless individual assisting him?” Snape asked, curious to know what Lucius’ suspicions were.  
“I doubt Greyback has been teaching himself as I believe Legilimency and Occlumency are difficult to learn by one’s self. Also I have never heard of some of the hexes he used against me and I doubt he created them himself.”  
“So you think he has an accomplice?”  
“Mmm, I don’t think the person is helping him in combat, but they are definitely helping him improve as a wizard; he could actually be a reasonable threat, Severus, not to mention his werewolf condition,” Lucius asserted, evidently worried.  
“Well we can only hope Greyback never gets so powerful that he’d be capable of taking over the wizarding world, but all the same I will be informing Potter and Minerva of what you have told me so we can ensure it doesn’t come to that; he must be stopped because whatever he is planning to do, we know it’ll likely put all of our lives in danger.”  
Lucius nodded in agreement.  
“Is that all Greyback told you? There’s nothing else you can tell me whether useful or not?” Snape asked wanting to ensure he knew everything.  
“No, that’s it, Severus. But I am curious, what potion did Greyback feed Potter? I hope his condition is not too serious?” Lucius asked knowing that if it were Severus was likely blaming himself heavily for it.  
“He will make a full recovery, but until the remedy has been brewed, life won’t be pleasant for him.”  
“What does the potion do?”   
“It makes the drinker visualize and relive their worst memories-”  
“Of all the people to drink such a potion… Well I am glad Greyback didn’t succeed with his plans; hopefully that will always remain the case. Well Severus I had best join Narcissa; we’re due to eat breakfast in ten minutes,” Lucius said in a friendly manner. “I suppose you need to attend to Potter?”  
“I do, but not until I have looked at your injuries,” Snape asserted.  
“Severus, I am fine; I have some bruises, that is all.”  
“But you can hardly walk! What hexes did Greyback use?”  
“I can’t remember, Severus! I was using all of my energy to remain conscious,” Lucius said angrily; he didn’t need Snape to baby him.  
“Well, if they are only bruises, why can’t I look?”  
“Because it is unnecessary! I had Greagor tend to it after Greyback left and now I will simply heal; there is nothing more you can do, Severus!” Lucius insisted.  
Snape stood up quickly and strode some two metres in front of him and demanded: “Stand up, Lucius.”  
“No, Severus! I will not have you examining my body. I told you I am fine, now leave my manor!” Lucius yelled.  
“You encouraged me to leave Spinners End a couple of years ago; you insisted that I reveal myself for my own well-being, so why do you think it is so unacceptable for me to help you now?” Snape argued loudly; he wanted to help his friend in anyway he could because he knew that if it weren’t for Lucius he would still be confined to Spinner’s End drowning in his own sorrow and anger; holding a grudge towards Potter and never knowing the truth was out there. He wanted to return the favour.  
“There is nothing you can do Severus,” Lucius said calmly. And yet there was something in the man’s tone that suggested otherwise; perhaps Lucius was giving in to Snape’s demands?  
“You’re lying to me,” Snape replied equally as calm as he tried to do Legilimency against his friend. Snape knew he should simply trust Lucius but he also knew that wizards, especially purebloods, reject the help of others whenever they could help it. Finally Lucius gave in and took off his shirt. It was only when Lucius stood up to do this, that Snape saw blood on the couch; due to Lucius’ shirt being black, Snape never noticed the man was bleeding as they conversed for the last hour. This also explained Lucius’ unsteadiness when he rose; no doubt the blood loss was affecting him severely. So when Lucius’ black, blood soaked shirt left the man’s body, Snape turned as pale as Lucius when he saw several bandages wrapped around the man’s entire torso. Although this explained why the man’s posture was askew, Snape was angry that Lucius didn’t tell him that he was ultimately bleeding to death. Obviously Greyback had used some form of dark magic which was why the wounds weren’t closing and the blood wasn’t clotting. Snape stared at Lucius momentarily, hoping to convey to his friend just how stupid and irresponsible it was to keep the severity of his injury a secret from him.  
Snape stepped closer to Lucius and began to unravel the bandage slowly, muttering: “Your pride isn’t worth this, Lucius.” The blond man didn’t reply. But moved away from Snape and back to the couch; he felt he was about to pass out. Snape moved with Lucius and encouraged his friend to remain upright so he could better examine the injury. Realizing that Lucius was losing too much blood too quickly Snape asked the man: “do you know what hex caused this?”  
Lucius mumbled in reply: “Sectumsempra”.  
Immediately, Snape began to mutter the incantation under his breath, sealing the part of the wound he could see, having removed the bandages. Slowly, Snape unraveled the rest of Lucius’ bandages, healing the gashes as he went. When he had finished, Snape stood up to examine the rest of Lucius’ body. Amongst the white scar lines that were all that remained from the Sectumsempra curse, were large dark purple bruises, some were already turning yellow. Snape felt sick as he stared at his friend’s damaged body and turned the man over to see more bruises on his back.  
“Accio Lucius’ blood replenishing potions,” Snape whispered, hoping that the man kept some handy. Thankfully, five flew into Snape’s hand and Severus encouraged Lucius to drink each of them. After a period, Lucius opened his eyes and Snape thought it would be suitable to tell Lucius exactly what was on his mind.  
“Did Greyback use Sectumsempra just before leaving?” Snape asked.  
Lucius nodded and mumbled quietly. “My punishment for refusing to join him in his search for the Elder Wand; ‘A present from Severus’ he said.”  
“Damn it, he must have heard the incantation when I attempted to use it against him last night,” Snape said thinking out loud.  
Lucius nodded again.  
“So let me this straight,” Snape continued, his voice raised. “I come to the manor soon after Greyback attacks you with Sectumsempra; MY curse and you didn’t even have the sense to tell me?” Snape was furious that Lucius thought it was beneath him to ask his friend for help. “Do you realise that you could have died from blood loss had I not insisted on seeing your injuries? It was stupid, Lucius! I never thought you would be so foolish to put your pride before your life-”  
“I thought the bleeding had stopped,” Lucius muttered.  
“For heaven’s sake, it’s dark magic, Lucius! You should have contacted me immediately! Now you will have those scars for life, I even managed to avoid that when Draco was injured with the same curse. What will Narcissa say when she sees your injuries?”  
“She’ll act just as you are now,” Lucius replied wearily.  
“Well you best go to breakfast when you feel strong enough to do so; at least then she’ll know you are still alive, she would have been waiting for half an hour. I am surprised she hasn’t come looking for you.”  
“She will soon,” Lucius replied. “Anyway, you should return to Potter. Make sure you remain alert; until we know what Greyback’s plans are, there’s no evidence to suggest what he’ll do next.”  
“There’s no need to tell me that, Lucius-”  
“Just keep safe and ensure the safety of the students as best you can; Draco has been strangely worried about Scorpius recently. I’d prefer you to be monitoring the students because although Minerva is a wonderful Headmistress there is no denying that she is busy. Just protect Hogwarts because only you truly know now what Greyback is capable of.”  
Snape couldn’t believe Lucius had the nerve to lecture him after the man practically decided to bleed to death, but nevertheless accepted Lucius’ advice and thought it was best to return to Hogwarts to update Potter on everything Lucius had just told him and check how the man is doing. After helping Lucius stand up and seeing that the man could safely walk, Snape let himself out of the Malfoy mansion and Apparated safely back to Hogwarts.

“Poppy, how is he?” Ginny asked, rushing into the hospital wing with her daughter at her heels.  
Madam Pomfrey was leaning over Harry, doing her usual check up on Harry when Ginny entered and turned abruptly towards her when she spoke.  
“Not too well, I am afraid, Ginny. Harry was still having visions throughout the night and also he seems to be much weaker than yesterday,” Poppy asserted, thinking that telling the truth would be more beneficial than lying.  
“But Daddy’s going to be alright isn’t he?” Lily asked, staring at her father’s sleeping body.  
“Yes, he will be fine, it will just be rough few days for him until Severus has made the potion,” Poppy replied kindly to Lily.  
“How long has been asleep for?” Ginny asked, wishing that her husband would wake so she would know one hundred percent for certain that he was okay.  
“A couple of hours, but if his sleeping patterns are anything like they were last night, I suspect he will be awake soon.” Poppy asserted. Ginny nodded and conjured a chair for both Lily and herself and together they waited patiently, Lily gripping her mother’s hand, until the moment when Harry would wake up.  
After Rose, James and Albus had their breakfast, they too decided to visit Harry for it was the weekend and although Rose was a little concerned about the essay Snape had already set them, she knew that seeing her uncle was much more important. Together the three of them walked to the Hospital Wing, not saying much, but each of them hoping that Harry would not be substantially worse than yesterday. Relieved to see that Ginny and Lily had already arrived and were sitting near Harry’s bed, the three students proceeded towards them- hugs were shared all around. With Madam Pomfrey in the Great Hall having her own breakfast, not much conversation took place as everyone stared at Harry’s sleeping body.  
Suddenly, James could hear someone running up the stairs and decided to investigate. When he saw that Professor Snape was coming towards the Hospital Wing in a hurry, James had to bite his tongue to avoid making some retort about his Defense against the Dark Arts teacher with regard to the previous night. Instead, he stood aside as Snape approached the door.  
Snape was not entirely surprised to see the children and Ginny present, but was a little concerned about telling all of them about what he had heard from Greyback because even the children believed the Wand and Stone were destroyed. He was however, disappointed that Harry was sleeping because he intended to tell the man as soon as possible about what he had discovered. As he was climbing the stairs, Snape had considered the possibility that Hermione, Ron and Ginny would also have to be really careful because Snape was sure Harry would have told them about the whereabouts of the Deathly Hallows. Hence, the matter Snape needed to discuss was very important and possibly urgent, but at the same time, he did not want to wake Potter if the man needed the rest.  
“What’s the matter Severus? You look worried,” Ginny stated, as she watched Snape enter the wing and saw the disappointment and urgency on the man’s face.  
“I was just hoping that Potter would be awake, that is all,” Snape replied, not wanting to elaborate any further while the children were in the room.  
“Poppy said Harry has had a rough nights sleep and that we should let him be for as long as possible. Is what you have to say urgent?”   
Snape paused and this alone told Ginny that Snape’s news was of great importance. However, Snape did not wish to portray this urgency around the children so replied:  
“No, it can wake until he wakes up,” Snape said, pulling up a chair and sitting a good two metres away from Harry’s family.  
“Is the potion nearly ready?” Lily asked Snape, looking hopeful.  
“It is underway, but it won’t be ready until Tuesday,” Snape replied.  
Although there was no denying that the potion was going well, that was not of Snape’s main concern. He felt the need to contact Ron and Hermione to ensure they did nothing stupid between now and the moment when Harry was better. Panic and anxiety was building up inside of Snape and although he very rarely worried about Harry or any of his friends until recently, Snape had the feeling that if he didn’t do something soon, they may have no hope of preventing Greyback from obtaining the Deathly Hallows. Snape needed more facts and reassurance; he knew the only place he would get that was from Potter. Not being able to contain himself any longer, Snape said:  
“Potter, wake up.”  
“I thought you said it could wait!” James exclaimed, angry that Snape lied to them.  
“I know, but I need to speak to your father, it is rather urgent,” Snape said looking apologetically at Ginny.  
“Couldn’t you tell us what is bothering you and we can talk about it until Harry wakes up?” Ginny suggested, not wanting her husband to wake up until he is ready.  
“I would, but I do not think it is suitable for the children to hear,” Snape asserted calmly, trying to make it sound like he was concerned; he thought the children would be able to understand and take on the news, but didn’t think Ginny and Harry would want their children to know the seriousness of what Greyback was doing.  
“I think that is for Mum to decide!” James yelled; he already hated Snape for keeping secrets from him and Rose with regard to his father’s condition. If Snape was again trying to hide such information from them again, there was no way he was going to put up with it.  
“Of course, you are right Mr. Potter, but I am almost entirely certain your mother and father would not want you to hear it,” Snape replied as kindly as he could; he knew that James would be just like the men he was named after.  
“Severus, what is it that you want to discuss?” Ginny asked, worriedly because she knew that Snape wouldn’t be so apprehensive unless there was something to worry about.  
“I know what Greyback is planning to do,” Snape answered between his teeth, hoping that the children wouldn’t understand what he was saying. But unfortunately, Rose heard him clearly.  
“What is he trying to do? Will he hurt Uncle Harry again?”  
“Please tell us what is happening,” Albus pleaded, really wanting to know what kind of consequences his father may be in for because of his mistake.  
Snape looked uncertainly at Ginny, but thankfully did not need to give an answer because Harry was stirring.  
Harry was slowly trying to open his eyes. He could hear talking and could feel the warmth of people gathered around his bed. He tried to sit up, but his head was pounding and Harry realised that he didn’t even have the strength to lift himself up into the sitting position. Still half asleep, Harry began to moan, wanting to get someone’s attention so he could find out what exactly was happening to him. Why Snape had to create such a potion and why Greyback had to steal it from him, he’d never know.  
Having heard Harry stir, everyone in the room looked towards the man. Ginny shrieked when she saw her husband’s bloodshot eyes, the lids only half open and the sound of his groaning. She was sure he was in pain and leapt up immediately to help him.  
“Harry sweetie, are you okay?” Ginny asked, moving her face close to Harry’s to get a better look at him.  
“Where are my glasses?” Harry whispered, not being able to speak much louder; he felt too weak to talk.  
Rose passed Harry his glasses which were sitting on the bedside table next to her. After putting on his glasses, Harry again made the effort to sit upright, but his muscles kept failing him every time he tried to get up. Every one in the room wanted to help the man sit up, but instead they watched Harry attempt it on his own, not wanting to destroy his pride. After the fifth attempt however, Ginny went over to help Harry.  
“I’m fine Ginny; I can do this by myself!” Harry snapped at his wife, who cowered away and felt extremely hurt.  
“Potter, you must allow us to help you; you can’t-”  
“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do, Snape! You are the one who created this goddamn potion to start off with!”  
Snape remained impassive. Of course, Harry was absolutely right, he did create the potion. Snape never anticipated such anger from Harry though and hoped it was because he was sleep deprived and not a side effect of the potion.  
Everyone remained stationary in the room as Harry continued to push himself into a sitting position. But he continued to fail. Lily was on the verge of tears and Albus felt empty; his father was changing…  
“Potter, don’t be ridiculous. You cannot do this by yourself, allow your wife to help you,” Snape suggested, almost in a pleading tone; he did not want Harry to cause more injury to himself.  
Harry stared angrily at Snape, knowing that what the man was saying was true, but nevertheless, the idea that he needed help sitting up in bed was ridiculous. Reluctantly, Harry allowed Ginny to help him and finally Harry was sitting upright, slouching as if his muscles were too weak to even hold up his back.  
“Harry, Severus has something he wants to talk to you about. He believes the topic of conversation is not suitable for the children. Do you want me to walk around the castle with them while the two of you talk?” Ginny asked kindly, hoping that Harry was not going to snap at her again.  
Harry rubbed his forehead; he had a headache. Taking a deep breath he replied in a retired tone: “Whatever you think is best, Ginny.”  
“But we want to stay with Dad!” James said defiantly. They waited all this time for his father to awake and now that he was, they were leaving?  
“I want to stay with Daddy too!” Lily cried.  
Albus couldn’t utter a word; his worst nightmare was coming true and although Snape had convinced him previously, he couldn’t help but conclude it was his own fault.  
“How do you feel, Uncle Harry?” Rose asked a little cautiously.  
“Like shit,” Harry replied a little aggressively; How do they think I feel?  
“Harry, there’s no need to swear-”  
“I will say whatever I want to say when I am so pathetically weak that I can barely move!” Harry snapped back.  
“This is not your wife’s fault, Potter,” Snape said, having seen the look on Ginny’s face, he felt he had to say something.  
“No of course not, because it’s your fault Snape! You never told me I would be THIS weak! This is ridiculous!” Harry yelled.  
“Well you have enough energy to yell, so you are not-”  
“Don’t you dare defend what you have done! This is pathetic! I may have my voice but only because I am so bloody pissed off!”  
“Harry, please try to relax. We know this is hard for you, but Snape has something important he needs to discuss with you and I really think-”  
“But I don’t want to go,” Lily mumbled, looking at her father with terrified eyes. Harry looked towards his youngest child and immediately his face softened slightly. He knew his children were in the room with him, but until this moment he hadn’t greeted them. Although he felt as weak as a twig, he didn’t want to frighten his children.  
“Lily,” Harry said in a calm tone, causing Lily to jump at being addressed by her once furious father. “It’s okay, I’ll be fine. Go with Mum and I’ll be here when you return, okay?” Harry reassured her kindly, wanting her to realise that he was simply mad and hadn’t changed.  
Lily nodded her head and ran up to her father and climbed onto his bed. Crawling towards him, Lily held her arms in front of her and gave Harry a hug whispering: “I love you, Daddy.”  
“I love you too, Lily,” Harry whispered as he hugged her back. After Lily slid off his bed, Harry addressed Ginny.   
“Have fun showing the children around Hogwarts, Ginny. I am sorry for yelling before… I’ll send my Patronus when Snape and I are finished.”  
Ginny nodded. Grateful that Harry seemed much happier, delighted that he was not going to be furious for the rest of the weekend, she walked up to Harry, hugged him tightly and pecked him on the lips.  
“Come on you four, let’s take a walk around the castle,” Ginny said taking Lily and Rose by the hand.  
“But I want to stay with Dad!” James asserted, crossing his arms in a stubborn manner.  
“We won’t be long, Mr. Potter,” Snape said trying to reason with the boy.  
“I don’t care! How do we know you won’t do something to Dad?” James yelled aggressively at Snape.  
“Professor Snape won’t hurt Dad,” Albus whispered quietly.  
“And how would you know, Albus?” James asked. “You can’t trust him, just because Mum and Dad do doesn’t mean we must!”  
“James! That is unacceptable! You will apologise to Professor Snape this instant!” Ginny demanded.  
“It does not matter, Ginny. He has the right to develop his own opinion of me. However, I promise that I will not harm your father in anyway and I insist,” turning to James, “that you leave your father and me to talk for a few minutes.”  
“FINE!” James yelled, running out of the room.  
Ginny ran after her son, making sure he didn’t do anything stupid, taking Rose and Lily with her.  
Albus stood nervously near his father, both Harry and Snape were looking at the boy.  
“Dad, I-”  
“Al, how are you?” Harry asked, concerned for his son. He realised that his outburst only minutes ago would not have convinced anyone, especially Al that he was okay.  
“I’m fine Dad, but how are you?”  
“I’m okay, Al. I know I don’t look well, but I’ll be fine. Don’t blame yourself for this okay? It isn’t your fault, so don’t feel guilty. Everything will be back to normal soon,” Harry reassured his son.  
“I hope so, Dad. But um, it wasn’t Snape’s fault either- I mean-“ Albus didn’t want to disagree with his father. But after talking to Severus, he realised how much Snape regretted the creation of Nocens Memoria and consequently thought Snape wasn’t to blame either.  
Harry paused, remembering what he said not long ago.  
“I know it is not Severus’ fault either. I am sorry for what I said before, I was angry,” Harry said, looking apologetically at Snape, but altogether happy that Al was already standing up for Severus.  
“Oh good.” Albus said, relieved his father did not believe Snape to be at fault. “Anyway, I’ll catch up to Mum. See you later, Dad, Professor Snape,” Albus asserted as he ran from the Hospital Wing.

Smiling, Harry turned towards Severus and said: “Al’s standing up for you already.”  
Snape didn’t reply; to be honest, Albus’ defense of him completely took Snape by surprise. Instead Snape simply nodded that he agreed with Harry. Realising that Snape was probably a little embarrassed, Harry asked: “So what is it that you wanted to discuss with me.”  
Snape immediately snapped out of his thoughts, remembering the urgent information he wanted to tell Harry.  
“This morning I went to visit Lucius,” Snape began.  
“And how is he?” Harry asked interested.  
“Not well.”  
“Why? What happened?”  
“Greyback visited him early this morning-”  
“With regard to what?” Harry asked concerned.  
“It would seem that Greyback entered my house in an effort to find Veritaserum so that he could use it against you.”  
Silence.  
“But why? What does he want to know?” Harry asked, extremely worried.  
“He wants to know the whereabouts of the Deathly Hallows,” Snape replied quietly, preparing himself for Harry’s reaction.  
“What!? That’s not possible. You told him the Deathly Hallows were destroyed didn’t you? How can he possibly know that they still exist?” Harry asked hurriedly, hoping that all of this was just another one of his nightmares.  
“I did tell him they were destroyed, but somehow he discovered that they still exist. He even asked Lucius to help him search for them.”  
“I take it Lucius refused?”  
“Yes, which is one of the reasons he was attacked by Greyback.”  
“What was the other reason?”  
“Lucius told him Veritaserum was green.”  
“So he lied?”  
“Yes, he knew that Greyback was seeking to attack you and consequently gave him the wrong information.”  
“Is he alright? I would imagine Greyback would have punished him severely.”  
“Yes, he is okay, but unfortunately Lucius being Lucius did not tell me how severe his injuries were when I arrived. Just before Greyback left the Malfoy Manor he used Sectumsempra against Lucius and Lucius stupidly bandaged himself up and didn’t think to tell me. Now he will have the scars for life, god knows what Narcissa will say.”  
“Was anything else discussed that I should know?”  
“Lucius believed Greyback intends to try and interrogate you again if he can find another store of Veritaserum. It seems he is very determined to find the location of the Elder Wand specifically and will go to any means to retrieve it, even if that means using the people you care about as bait. Lucius also agrees with me that Greyback seems a more able wizard than he was nineteen years ago and consequently we believe someone is helping Greyback with the Dementors and learning various spells and skills.”  
“So basically, anyone who knows about the whereabouts of the Deathly Hallows or are somehow related to me should be on guard?” Harry asked. “This is just like Voldemort- when he was alive. I was always worried he’d come after Ron, Hermione or Ginny so that he could get to me. What do you suggest I do?”  
“I think we should tell anyone who knows the location of the Deathly Hallows to be on their guard because although Greyback may not know they have the information, if he ever found out, he’d go to any end to wheedle the information out of them.”  
“Well only Ron, Hermione and Ginny know the location of the Hallows. Do you think I should contact them now?”  
“As soon as you can, but you are in no fit state to get out of bed, so if you wish I can contact Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.”  
“No, no, it’s fine Snape, I can do it. But one thing that is still concerning me is how Greyback found out. He hasn’t been in the ministry, so he couldn’t have heard Hermione and Ron talking and he wasn’t around us when we were-” But Harry stopped, a sinking feeling occurring in his stomach.  
“That night- Christmas Eve when I went looking for you in Spinner’s End… You brought me into your house, but- but because of my sudden appearance, you didn’t put up your protective spells around your house. A window was open, the one the owl flew in…”  
Both men sat there dumbstruck; it was their fault that Greyback now knew about the continued existence of the Deathly Hallows. Snape realised that that was the second time he had foolishly forgotten to put up the protective spells around his house and couldn’t believe his incompetence.  
“Well now that we have sorted out that mystery, we must keep ourselves and everyone else on guard because Greyback may do anything to find out where the Wand is, including torture and death and I do not want anyone to be subjected to that,” Harry asserted.  
“Do you wish for your children to know what we have discussed?”  
Harry considered Snape’s proposition for a moment.  
“I think I will talk to Ginny, Ron and Hermione first to discuss the matter. Perhaps later today we can organize a short meeting… I should probably send my Patronus to Ginny. There isn’t more we need to discuss is there?”  
Snape shook his head.   
Grabbing his wand from his bedside, Harry raised it and yelled “Expecto Patronum!” However, nothing happened, not even the silvery smoke that would normally be released if he wasn’t thinking of a happy enough memory.  
“What?” Harry said, dumbfounded that he couldn’t produce a Patronus. Snape sat there watching Harry ponder his inability to produce a Patronus and knew that no matter how happy the memory, Harry wouldn’t be able to produce his stag; he simply wasn’t strong enough.  
“Why can’t I produce my Patronus? I feel fine now, I should be strong enough to do this; I’ve been able to do it since I was thirteen for god’s sake!”  
Snape realised that Harry was losing his temper again; it seems the man becomes frustrated whenever he is unable to do something he considers simple or of his usual capabilities. Snape tried to calm Harry down, realizing that if he was in Potter’s situation, he also would be extremely frustrated and feel completely useless.  
“Potter, let me send my Patronus to your wife-”  
“No! I told her I would send my Patronus and that’s what I’ll do!” Harry replied aggressively.  
“You are so stubborn, Potter-”  
“I don’t care! You would be too if you couldn’t even do something as simple as produce silver smoke- I can’t even do that! I’m thirty six for heaven’s sake!”  
“But Potter-” Snape tried to reason with him even though he understood that Potter’s pride would be damaged and hurt due to the effects the potion was having on him.  
“Don’t try to argue with me, Snape! I know that I’m not only weak, but completely useless! I can’t do a simple bit of magic!” Harry yelled, panicking because magic was Harry’s safeguard in the wizarding world.  
“Let me explain-”  
But Harry was completely ignoring Snape’s attempts at comforting him. Deciding that there must be some magic he could do, Harry yelled ‘Stupefy’ at Snape who was standing directly in front of him. Severus didn’t even flinch. Snape had some sense to wait for Harry to calm down for the man had gone pale as he stared into space.  
“I can’t do anything…” Harry mumbled, realizing just how much the potion was affecting him. He needed an explanation: “Did you know I would be this weak?” He demanded of Snape.  
Snape shook his head, but was glad Harry was finally allowing him to explain.  
“The effects of Nocens Memoria varies from person to person based on their past. I had a feeling that the effects of the potion would affect you more severely than one would normally anticipate because of the severity of your past. The more you have suffered, the more the potion sucks from your physical, mental and even magical self.”  
“So I’m simply a weak person who can’t-”  
“No Potter, there is nothing ‘weak’ about what is happening to you. You did not have a pleasant childhood and you fought against the Dark Lord several times, where many deaths and horrors affected you all those years ago. Of course, they may not plague you like they used to, but they are still there and when a potion such as Nocens Memoria forces you to relive them, they will affect you no matter how strong you are.”  
“They are sucking the life out of me…” Harry whispered.  
“But you have to be strong, Potter. You have no control over your visions when you are experiencing them but during moments like this- you have the chance to fight. So do not sit here on your bed and complain about how weak you are or how pathetic you feel- although there is no denying that you are weak, you can be stronger.”  
“How?” Harry asked, dying to know how he could feel even a little better.  
“Think of memories that make you happy, relive the moments where there was no death, anger and fear, but joy and victory. Fight the potion and never give in,” Snape asserted, realizing that he probably sounded like a motivational speaker, which made him cringe slightly. But the embarrassment of saying such things to Potter escaped Snape’s mind when he saw Harry smile with relief and contentment.   
After a moments pause, Harry asked: “Could you please send your Patronus to Ginny?” Snape nodded and muttered ‘Expecto Patronum’ and sent his doe to Potter’s wife.  
“No, no, no! Not here again! Cedric, get back to the cup right now! Don’t ask me questions, just get back to Hogwarts! It’s a trap and Voldemort’s coming. Ahhhhhh! No! CEDRIC!” Harry yelled in pain as he clapped his hand to his scar, tears escaping from under his eye lids as he was forced to watch Cedric die at the hand of Wormtail..  
Snape spun around and understood immediately what was happening to Potter. Taking no time at all, Snape glided to the side of Harry’s bed, held him upright so that he wouldn’t slide off the hospital bed and, not quite believing he was doing this again, Snape hugged Harry.   
Ginny, James, Albus, Rose and Lily entered the Hospital Wing while Snape was still holding Harry and he could feel himself blush, even though he usually managed to hide his emotions. Yet recently, Snape realised he was not able to push aside his feelings like he once was able to and thought that perhaps Harry’s emotional honesty was rubbing onto him.  
Snape continued to hold Harry, despite all of the children and Ginny watching him with wide eyes, until he could feel Harry’s heart rate decrease and then slowly lowered the man onto the bed. Getting up, Snape walked briskly past his audience, who were still staring at him and said: “I am going to check on the potion. Contact me if you need me,” as he walked down the stairs towards the dungeons.


	18. The choice between what is right and what is easy

After watching Snape leave the hospital wing, Ginny encouraged the children to pull up chairs before beginning to talk amongst themselves about Snape and their father. Once the children began to discuss their Professor’s hugging of Harry yet again, Ginny sat in silence, hoping that whatever Snape told Harry, it was not anything too serious. Since Snape had now left the wing, she supposed she would simply wait for Harry to wake up. But the longer Ginny sat there waiting, the more anxious she became: surely if it was really important Snape would have mentioned something? But what if he didn’t because the children were there? There was no way for her to find out what was so important, and wished desperately that Harry would wake up or Snape would return from the dungeons. Ginny stood up, the children falling silent as she walked towards the head of her husband’s bed. She slowly reached down and placed her hands on his shoulders, wanting to wake the man up.  
“Mum, what are you doing?” James asked; all four children confused as to why Ginny seemed so desperate to wake him up.  
Ginny froze at the sound of her son’s voice; she somewhat forgot momentarily that the children were there watching her. At the moment, she was so worried, so anxious about what Greyback was potentially up to, that she hadn’t thought about the children and how confused they may be.  
“I was about to wake your father… but perhaps he needs the sleep,” Ginny said and retired back to her chair. But the children were still curious.  
“But why were you going to wake Daddy up, Mummy?” Lily asked, a little worried for she noticed her mother was pale and strangely out of character as if in a far away place.  
“I just- I wanted to know what he and Professor Snape discussed, that’s all,” Ginny asserted, “but I can wait until he wakes.”   
“Surely if it was something really serious, Professor Snape would have said something to you,” Rose reassured her aunt.  
“You are probably right Rose,” Ginny answered nodding.  
“What do you think they were discussing, Mum?” Albus enquired, wanting to know what his mother’s suspicions were.  
“I am not certain, but I think Professor Snape has found out something about Greyback and his plans-”  
“You don’t think he’s going to try again, do you?” Lily asked, worried for her father’s safety; she was really scared for him.  
“I hope not, Lily. But we won’t know for sure so we must all be alert and wary at all times, okay?” Ginny replied looking at each of the children in turn. Each of them nodded their agreement.  
“Which memory do you think Dad was reliving just before we arrived?” James asked his mother.  
“I don’t know sweetie and I suppose your father won’t remember either. I guess we’ll just have to wait until Professor Snape returns,” Ginny answered, surprised that she hadn’t wondered the same thing herself.   
The children continued to talk among themselves with regard to Nocens Memoria, Harry, Snape and of course, Greyback and what he may do next. But Ginny didn’t wish to join in with their speculations; she couldn’t stop staring at her husband’s sleeping, tired body; she hoped they would get through whatever Greyback had planned for them all.

Madam Pomfrey entered the hospital wing, interrupting Ginny’s train of thought. Turning around, Ginny bombarded the matron with details about her husband’s health, informing her that he had another vision not long ago and enquired about the various visions her husband had the previous night. Poppy was a little taken aback by Ginny’s sense of urgency, but replied kindly:  
“Harry is not well, Ginny. His body is weak and although his mind is reasonably alert still, I believe that it will begin to deteriorate by tomorrow. I do not know if Severus or Harry has informed you, but Harry’s magical self is also decreasing to the stage where I doubt he could even perform a simple spell-”  
“What! Harry can’t cast magic?” Ginny demanded, panic rising up inside of her; Severus never mentioned the possibility that Harry would not be able to perform magic!  
“Unfortunately that is correct, Ginny. I assure you, however that once Severus has finished brewing the remedy he will be back to normal, but until that time, he needs to be monitored carefully and absolutely must not be allowed out of the hospital wing. With regard to the sleep or lack thereof Harry had last night it is no surprise that he is so tired now. If I had to estimate, I would say that Harry had a vision perhaps every two hours, which is more often than he did during the day. I think when one is trying to sleep, it weakens the mind, and consequently his visions are more prominent. Of course we would have to ask Severus for confirmation, but I am reasonably sure that is the case. All of the visions, from what I heard, took place in the first four years Harry was at Hogwarts. I assure you I got to him as soon as I could so that the vision would affect him as little as possible.”  
“Thank you so much for looking after him for us, Poppy. I really appreciate it. I hope he’s not so hard to handle tonight,” Ginny said, looking sadly at her husband who was still sleeping.  
“Not to worry, Ginny. It is a part of my job and I think it should be Harry you feel sorry for, not me,” Poppy said kindly, smiling.  
Ginny smiled in return and turned towards her children. Lily looked sleepy and Rose was yawning.  
“I think you four should get off to bed-”  
“But I want to wait until Dad wakes up!” James yelled defiantly.  
“I know, James, but he may not wake up until very late and you really should get a good nights sleep okay?” Ginny replied kindly.  
“Okay,” James said, giving into his mother request. The children said goodnight to Poppy, Ginny and the still sleeping Harry before walking off to their dormitory, or in Lily’s case, the room that led off from the Hospital Wing.  
Poppy and Ginny conversed for a few minutes regarding the students at Hogwarts and Ginny’s shock that she hadn’t seen a single student, other than her children or niece in the wing since she arrive. Towards the end of their conversation, Severus returned much to Ginny’s relief. Madam Pomfrey decided to leave Ginny and Snape alone, firstly to give them the opportunity to talk about the situation if they wished, but also because she, like the children, was very tired. Bidding them farewell, Madam Pomfrey walked quietly back to her sleeping quarters.

 

*****

 

“Thank goodness you’re here, Severus. What did you discuss with Harry? Is it anything urgent? Should we contact someone or do something? What can I do?” Ginny asked very quickly, wanting to know exactly how terrible the news was.  
“Ginny, calm down. There is no immediate threat to us because while we are at Hogwarts, we are safe. But I do think it would be an idea to contact Miss Weasley’s parents so we can inform them of what we know.”  
“Why? Are they in danger?” Ginny asked, wondering what could possibly involve Ron and Hermione when they didn’t seem to be Greyback’s target. “Please tell me what is going on. What do you know?”  
Realising that Ginny was not going to be rational or calm until she knew what he and Potter discussed, Snape updated her with what he discovered that morning. Other than a few gasps, Ginny remained relatively quiet until the man had finished.  
“We must contact Ron and Hermione. They shouldn’t be asleep yet- I’ll send my Patronus,” Ginny offered, conjuring her silver horse and sending it away to wherever Ron was. Ginny and Snape sat in silence, watching Harry’s chest fall up and down and only occasionally mentioning other matters such as the remedy potion, which according to Snape was doing very well.  
After fifteen minutes, both Ron and Hermione were standing in the hospital wing, Minerva allowed them entrance into the castle. Minerva felt she should partake in the conversation that was about to take place, but was too busy enforcing the rules she had recently put into place, to have the time.  
“How is he?” Hermione asked the room at large as she stared at her friend’s sleeping body.  
“He will be okay, but he is very weak and cannot perform magic-”  
“WHAT?” Ron bellowed, looking lividly at Snape. As far as Ron could see, this was all Snape’s fault. “You never told us he may not be able to perform magic! That’s bloody crazy!”  
“I assure you that once the remedy has been brewed, he will be back to normal,” Snape replied almost in a bored tone.  
“Well let’s just hope you don’t screw that up too!” Ron answered angrily.  
“Ron! Don’t yell, you’ll wake up Harry,” Hermione whispered quietly.  
“Sorry, Hermione but sometimes Snape is just so-”  
“Anyway, talking about Harry’s health is not why we invited you,” Snape asserted, wanting to get to the point straight away.  
“We were just asking how he was; there is no need to be rude!” Ron replied aggressively; how could Snape be so insensitive? Just because he has seen Harry in this state for a while doesn’t mean others will be able to accept it just as easily. However, Snape did realise he was rushing matters a bit, but really wanted to ensure that the secrets regarding the Deathly Hallows are not leaked by those who know the truth.  
“I apologise, Mr Weasley. But I must insist we talk about a more urgent matter and then feel free to ask as many questions as you wish with regard to Potter’s health,” Snape offered, trying to sound as nice as possible. Hermione turned away from Harry to look at Severus and asked:   
“So what did you and Ginny wish to tell us?”  
“It would seem that Greyback is looking for the Deathly Hallows-”  
“What? How did he find out about them?” Ron replied loudly, causing Ginny to put her finger to her lips whilst glaring at her brother.  
“Unfortunately, the fault is mine. When Potter came to Spinner’s End on the night of Christmas Eve, I was so shocked by his being there that I forgot to put the protective spells around my property. We were talking about the Deathly Hallows and the fact that they are still in existence. A window was open and it must have been through that that Greyback heard us talking- he must have followed me home.”  
“So exactly why do you need to talk to us?” Ron asked aggressively, furious because he felt that Snape was responsible for this whole incident occurring.  
“It is Severus, Harry’s and my belief that Greyback will continue to look for the Hallows and obtain as much information as he can about their whereabouts. When he fed Harry the potion the other night, he thought it was Veritaserum and was hoping to ask Harry the location of all of the Hallows. Luckily he did not succeed, but we have no doubt that he will continue to try. We wanted to tell you to be extremely cautious when you are at the ministry, when you are walking around or are beyond the protective spells of your home. I know you are both really responsible, careful people but we thought we should tell you just how serious this could become if Greyback does manage to feed one of us Veritaserum,” Ginny asserted.  
Both Hermione and Ron nodded in response and it was Ginny’s final assertion that really made them realise just how serious this situation could become.  
Suddenly Hermione had an idea: “I know this is a long shot, but couldn’t we try to destroy the wand and stone? Couldn’t we find them and destroy them?”  
“But how do you plan to destroy them?” Ginny asked, wanting to know if Hermione had any ideas.  
“I don’t know, but there has to be a way,” Hermione replied almost in a pleading tone.  
“But do we really want to spend the time trying to destroy them when people may happen across us and find out what we’re doing? I think it would be best to leave them where they are and pretend that we don’t know where they are. We can’t draw attention to their location,” Ginny reasoned with her sister-in-law.  
“Perhaps you’re right, Ginny,” Hermione answered, feeling defeated.  
“Who informed you of all this information anyway, Professor Snape?” Ginny asked out of interest.  
“Lucius-”  
“You actually believe-” Ron interrupted.  
“Mr Weasley, is there anyone you do trust in this world?” Snape snapped, his voice raised in frustration.  
Ron turned red and shut up.  
“Lucius was visited by Greyback this morning and was tortured by the man. It was Lucius who told Greyback that Veritaserum was green, causing him to pick up a different, though debatably worse potion. He is also the person who told me what Greyback hoped to gain from interrogating Potter. He also told me that Fenrir offered his alliance to Lucius, requesting that they work together to find the Hallows, to which Lucius refused. I am sure the man wasn’t lying and I have no doubt that his assertions are truthful,” Snape concluded confidently, wanting Hermione and Ron to trust the information he had just told them.  
“Okay, well in that case, we will remain on a look out for any strange activity and ensure that no one has the chance to feed us Veritaserum or capture us. Thank you for giving us an update and please look after Harry,” Hermione said, looking specifically at Snape. Snape nodded in reply and after giving Ginny a hug, Ron and Hermione left the castle.

 

*****

Harry did not awake until very late that night. He did not see anyone around and thought it must be pretty late and tried to get back to sleep, but couldn’t. He kept remembering all of the things Snape and he were discussing with regard to Greyback and began to worry greatly for Ron, Hermione and his family. Eventually however, Harry managed to get to sleep, but every hour or so he would have a vision, causing poor Poppy to get out of her bed to give the man a hug and a quick check up. When Harry became conscious after such visions, he paid attention to how he felt emotionally, mentally and physically and knew that he would be even worse the following morning.   
Snape and Ginny both went to bed after Ron and Hermione left and managed to get reasonably good sleep, even though both were worried about what Greyback would do next, they knew there was nothing they could do about it until Harry was better.

Sunday morning finally arrived and Snape got up the moment the sun shined in his face to check up on the potion and then to visit Harry in the hospital wing, eating a piece of toast as he walked. But when he arrived, he saw Poppy’s worried face look at him momentarily before turning back to Potter who was sleeping restlessly.   
“What is it, Poppy?” Snape asked, walking a little faster into the room to see for himself exactly what was worrying Poppy.  
“Do you realise that he hasn’t eaten in two days?” asserted Poppy; there was no mistaking the anxiety in her eyes.  
“Couldn’t we force feed him?” Snape asked, even though he realised the notion may seem a little unreasonable, it had every possibility of working.  
“Unless you want him to choke on it, Severus! What if he experiences one of his visions whilst chewing and then begins to yell? We won’t be able to stop him from choking on it.”  
“Has Potter tried to eat?”  
Madam Pomfrey nodded, “Yes, but he insists that he isn’t hungry and anything he does eat he brings up again.”  
Snape remained silent. It would seem that Potter was so weak that even his stomach was unable to process solid food. As he stared down at Harry’s pale face, whose chest was heaving up and down in quick motions, Snape wondered for the first time since Harry consumed Nocens Memoria, if he unintentionally lied to Al. Although Snape never intended for his potion to ever kill anyone, is it possible- as Albus suggested- that Harry’s past was so severe and so traumatizing that his body could be weakened to the point of death? Harry was so skinny and looked so ill that Snape grew disgusted with himself for ever creating a potion that could cause so much damage. Of course, if the consumer of his potion was Greyback or another individual Snape despised, the man would not be so concerned or feel so much regret, but unfortunately it was Harry who drank the potion and of all men, he would have been the last person Snape would have wanted to damage. Realizing that there was no point in dwelling on it, for there was nothing Snape could do except ensure the potion is brewed as accurately as possible so that Harry would have every chance of making a full recovery, Snape used his own wand to monitor Harry’s condition whilst Madam Pomfrey went to have some breakfast.  
Snape was relieved when Harry eventually woke an hour after Poppy left; he felt the need to ask the man himself as to how he was feeling.  
“My god, it’s like I have the worst flu to ever be experienced by man. I may not be coughing or sneezing, but I am so weak, so dizzy, it’s ridiculous. Can I have some water, please?” Harry requested as Snape passed him the glass feeling both guilt and sympathy.  
“We can only hope that your condition does not get any worse because as you can tell, your body is extremely weak.”  
At these words, Harry tried to stop himself from panicking; although Snape assured him that the potion wouldn’t kill him, by the way Snape was talking, Harry was under the impression that death could be a possibility if they weren’t careful.  
“Well, couldn’t you send me to St. Mungo’s?” Harry asked, trying to sound unconcerned.  
“I do not think it would be safe to move you from this bed. We simply must monitor you like we have been and give you medication or anything else you may need until the potion is ready.”  
“Okay, if you think that is best,” Harry asserted, knowing that if anyone knew the best thing to do in this situation it would be Severus.  
“Also, on a different subject, you should be informed that last night your wife and I spoke to Mr and Mrs Weasley with regard to Greyback and his possible targeting of them. They now know to be alert and not take any risks where Veritaserum may possibly be used against them.”  
“That’s good to know, thank you for contacting them,” Harry replied quietly, feeling tired already. “Where are Lily and Ginny?”   
“It is still reasonably early, only seven am. I am sure they will be awake soon.”  
As if on cue, Ginny rushed into the hospital wing from the room next door where she and her daughter had been sleeping the last two nights.  
“You’re awake, Harry! How are you feeling, sweetie?”  
“Pretty terrible,” Harry replied, but couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his wife.  
“Do you feel hungry at all?” Ginny asked eagerly.  
“No-”  
“But you really should eat something-”  
“I don’t think I can, Ginny,” Harry answered her warily.  
“But you must! You haven’t eaten anything substantial, that’s really not-”  
“I know Ginny, but I am not hungry-”  
“But you must eat something!” Ginny cried hysterically; she had been watching her husband closely over the last couple of days and knew the man was getting weaker by the moment. In her eyes, eating would show that Harry was improving, but the idea that her husband was still not hungry after two days worried her so much that she simply couldn’t contain herself any longer.  
Harry held his wife’s wrist and pulled her gently towards him and gave her a hug.  
“I’m going to be fine, Ginny,” he whispered. When he looked up, still hugging Ginny close to him, Harry saw Snape leave the Hospital Wing.

*****

Later that day when all of the children, Ginny and Poppy were in the hospital wing surrounding Harry who was sitting up in bed, but talking as little as possible for his throat was dry, Ginny, Harry and Poppy began to talk quietly amongst themselves- the children assumed they were discussing information that was not meant for their ears, so Lily pulled her brothers and cousin aside and said quietly.  
“I know what Professor Snape told Dad last night.” Lily smiled when she saw the look on her audience’s faces.  
“What? Did they tell you?” James asked, surprised that the adults would have told the apparently secret information to the youngest of the children.  
“No, I just overheard them talking last night and you wouldn’t believe who was with them.”  
“Who?” Albus asked, excitedly.  
“Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione,” Lily asserted, looking at Rose.  
“Do you know why my parents were here?” Rose questioned Lily, wanting every detail as to how her parents could be involved in this situation.  
“Well I heard them saying that Greyback is after the Deathly Hallows and that it was important that Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron know this incase Greyback tries to feed them Veritaserum.”  
“What? But if what you are saying is correct, that means that the Deathly Hallows must still exist and that Mum and Dad must know where they are!” Rose exclaimed, completely shocked that again, their parents lied to them.  
“Our Mum and Dad must also know where they are,” James added. “Maybe that’s why Greyback was trying to feed Dad that potion- may be he thought the green potion was Veritaserum!” James asserted, looking around for their support.  
“But if that is the case, Greyback must be pretty stupid because Veritaserum is clear, not green,” Rose pointed out, though was seriously considering her cousin’s assertion; perhaps that is why Greyback was targeting her uncle.  
“If he is stupid, then hopefully he will never find the Deathly Hallows, but what if he does? He would be the master of Death right?” Albus asked, worried. He realised that there would be a reason why his parents didn’t tell them about the continued existence of the Deathly Hallows; they are powerful objects where joining them would only cause war and havoc.   
The other children seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Albus.  
“Well, if you are right about what the adults were saying last night, Lily, then I think we all need to be really careful; although we don’t know where the artifacts are, Uncle Harry told us that Voldemort used loved ones to get to Uncle Harry before he was defeated, so Greyback might succeed in doing a similar thing if we’re not careful,” Rose asserted. Her cousins nodded.  
“Do you think we should tell them that we know?” Lily asked a little timidly for she didn’t like keeping secrets from her parents but also knew that James would want revenge for not being told the truth in the first place.  
“I don’t think we should; if they decide to tell us about it, then we’ll pretend we had no idea and if they don’t, at least we are alert about what is happening,” James said, though contrary to Lily’s worries, he didn’t want revenge on his parents. Rather, he wanted to show them that they could be responsible and not get caught up in Greyback’s traps. He wanted to prove himself and the other children, though they wouldn’t admit it, felt the same way. Albus especially wanted to make up for leaving the grounds two nights previously by ensuring that no matter what happened, neither his mother nor father would ever be forced to reveal the location of the Deathly Hallows because of him.

*****

 

Snape felt it was necessary and polite for him to leave the moment Ginny arrived, but instead of doing something productive, he continued to dwell on Potter and what he was experiencing because of Nocens Memoria. He couldn’t believe that the symptoms of the potion had progressed this far in such a short period of time and tried to convince himself that it was because of the severity of Harry’s past that influenced what Snape thought was a perfect potion. But the more Snape thought about it, the more he worried that perhaps he made a mistake in the brewing of it, possibly resulting in Potter’s death. Snape distracted himself with the remedy potion that was still brewing healthily in his lab, and was right on schedule. Snape didn’t feel comfortable being around Harry for the rest of the day, mainly because the emaciated body that was Potter, his bloodshot eyes, pale skin and physical uselessness was too much for Snape to look at- too much guilt. Of course Snape realised he was being selfish; after all, Harry should be the one complaining, it was Harry that was suffering, not Snape. And yet, Snape satisfied himself by visiting the man once every couple of hours to see how he was, which allowed Ginny and the children to spend some quality time with Potter incase he fell asleep early again. Whenever he arrived at the hospital wing he would be updated on Harry’s visions by either Ginny or Poppy, where all the memories Harry relieved took place in his fifth and sixth year.   
Snape was worried when he visited Potter at seven pm that night because he realised that the next vision Potter had would likely be the moment when Dumbledore was killed. He hoped, prayed that nothing would come of it; that the children would be asleep and that either Poppy or Ginny were there to hug the man as soon as possible. But of course, very rarely do our wishes come true.

 

*****

 

At nine pm. Snape went to visit Harry for the final time before he too would be heading off to bed in preparation for classes starting up again tomorrow. Severus already had his day planned; when he wasn’t teaching he would be monitoring the potion. Thankfully all of the ingredients would have been added by that stage so Snape would simply have to monitor the brewing until Tuesday morning.  
Entering the room, Snape was happy to see that Harry was still awake reading the Daily Prophet.  
“Nothing mentioned about Greyback,” Harry asserted, not looking up from his paper, realizing it would be Severus coming to visit him.  
“Good,” Snape replied and began assessing Harry’s progress by muttering incantations under his breath. When he had finished, he asked.  
“Where is your wife?”  
“Ginny and Lily went home because Ginny needs to go to work tomorrow and she thought it would be best to get an early night. She asked me, however to ensure that you send her occasional updates on my health via owl tomorrow. She will probably visit me after work,” Harry stated.  
“That’s fine, I will make sure I inform her regularly of your progress,” Snape replied.  
“Thank you,” Harry said as he began to lower himself on his bed with great difficulty, wincing as he did so. Finally he was comfortable under the covers, but did not seem to be going to sleep, even though he looked very tired, Snape wondered what the man was waiting for.  
“Are your children in their dormitories?” Snape inquired.  
“I know that Rose and James are for they said goodnight straight after dinner because they had an assignment to do. I’m glad Rose seems to be having a positive influence on James. Anyway, they told me Al was coming soon so I’ll wait for him before I go to bed.”  
“Well, I have done everything I need to; you do not seem any worse than you were this morning which is a good sign. I start teaching again tomorrow, but I will check up on you before classes start in the morning. Have a good rest, Potter,” Snape asserted.  
But Harry didn’t reply; his eyes were closed and Snape new what was coming as the man began to writhe and scream.  
“Dumbledore? Dumbledore! You killed him! He trusted you and you killed him! Sure you may be on our side but you seemed to do everything possible to ensure that I would fail, because without Dumbledore I don’t stand a chance! He was the only person who Voldemort feared! I need him to help me; how do you expect me to defeat him without Dumbledore, Snape?” Snape had frozen to the spot.  
“Stop running away from me you COWARD! Stop running and fight me one on one. I don’t care if I die as long as I have the chance to cause you as much pain as you caused me first! I don’t care what your excuses are! I don’t care why you killed Dumbledore because the fact is that you did! Perhaps Voldemort will reward you for what you have done, but just so you remember: you are nothing special; you are weak, pathetic and a coward and you don’t even regret what you did! I don’t even know why I named my son after you!” Snape couldn’t take it anymore. He knew deep inside that what Harry was saying was in fact false; he was sure Potter didn’t truly feel that way about him and yet hearing the words coming out of the man’s mouth made it seem so real that Snape just wanted the man to shut up. Turning around to see if Poppy was nearby to assist him with monitoring Potter for a while, Snape turned pale when he saw Albus Potter standing just inside the doorway to the hospital wing.  
Damn it.  
“Poppy!” Snape yelled at the top of his voice.  
Madam Pomfrey ran into the room, sensing the urgency in Snape’s tone.   
“Please hug Potter for me, will you? And make sure his vitals are stable and ensure he gets some rest. I must-” and Snape turned around to the doorway again, realizing that the boy had disappeared. “I must find Albus Potter,” Snape finished and ran out of the room.

Leaving the Hospital Wing, Snape could see Albus running in the distance, up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Common room. Snape didn’t know exactly how much Albus had heard but had no doubt that he heard enough to know that he, Snape had killed Dumbledore all those years ago. He knew he needed to speak to Albus and make sure that the boy understood what truly happened that night. Although Albus was small, he could run very fast and Snape had no hope of catching up to him. If he managed to get to the dormitories before Snape had the chance to explain, Snape could only imagine classes the following day when the whole school would likely know that Snape murdered Albus Dumbledore and felt no guilt, which was of course, entirely false. Concluding that Albus needed to know the truth before he reached another student to whom he would tell them what he discovered, Snape yelled:  
“Mr Potter! Slow down!”  
“No!” Albus shouted back, fear filling him up as he continued to run up the many staircases that led to the Gryffindor Tower.  
“I will not harm you, please allow me to explain-”  
“I don’t wish to hear what you have to say! I heard enough-”  
“Stop where you are!” Snape bellowed, feeling both anger and fear as he too was running up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time in an effort to catch Albus. Finally the two wizards were on the corridor which led to the Gryffindor common room. Realising that he wouldn’t be able to catch the boy, Snape took out his wand to cast a spell at a nearby painting which was unhinged from the wall and fell just in front of Albus, causing the boy to trip over the frame. This was all Snape needed to catch up. Reaching Albus he stood next to the boy, bent down and lifted him up.   
“Get off me! Help!”  
“Silencio,” Snape muttered, so that Albus could not longer be heard. Holding tightly onto Albus, Snape mended the painting and returned it to the wall. Struggling with a still fighting boy, Snape made every effort to obtain a good grip on him as he carried Albus down the stairs towards the dungeons. Although there was no sound coming out of Albus’ mouth, Snape could tell the boy was afraid, angry and panicked. He truly regretted having to resort to such extremes, but he really needed to talk to the boy and saw no other way of doing it. Unfortunately, just because Albus couldn’t speak, didn’t mean he couldn’t move and Snape could feel a heavy bruise developing on his arm as Albus continued to punch it with both of his fists. Snape could feel his grip on the boy weakening, but managed to hold on until he arrived at the dungeons. Undoing the charms that protected his classroom and office, Snape let himself in and, still carrying the boy, he took Albus into his sleeping quarters, where no other student had gone before. Finally, Snape put Albus down and saw immediately just how scared the boy was; his eyes were wide and his breathing was short and fast. Snape performed the counter-jinx so that Albus could be heard once again, but was surprised that Albus didn’t speak. Instead, Albus looked around, panic rising within him; his father may have trusted Severus but he felt anything but trust towards Snape at the present moment. The moment Albus took in his surroundings the boy ran towards the door and let out a sob when he realised he couldn’t get out.  
“Let me go- please,” Albus begged and it was clear to Snape that the boy was no longer angry but absolutely terrified.  
“No, not until I have explained something to you,” Snape replied gently.  
“But you’ve got me trapped in here! I- I can’t get out!” Albus cried, sobbing uncontrollably as he melted to the floor and curled up into a ball.  
Snape didn’t know what to do; he realised he hadn’t exactly acted like an innocent man- silencing Albus and taking him to the dungeons and away from the safety of his common room, but he was trying to sound as kind as possible and now he could only hope he could gain the boy’s attention long enough to explain to him what really happened with regard to Dumbledore’s death.  
“Mr Potter, stand up and come here,” Snape requested. But Albus ignored him, realizing that if Snape were to hurt him or harm him like he did to his dad and Dumbledore, then there was no point in making it any easier for the man. Albus felt useless and had no inclination of rising himself up from the cold floor until the door was opened and he could escape.  
Realising that Albus wasn’t going to listen or obey him, Snape walked towards the boy and bent down in front of him. Albus looked up to see the black eyes staring at him and gasped, closing his eyes quickly and curling up even tighter into a ball. He didn’t want Snape to have the chance to use Legilimency against him. Although Al only knew the location of the Invisibility cloak, he didn’t want to give Snape the opportunity to look into his thoughts incase he told Greyback to raid their house.  
Suddenly, Albus felt a hand rest on his shoulder, making him jump because it was the last thing he was expecting. Yet when he opened his eyes, Albus saw Snape attempting to comfort him by gently rubbing his back. Of course Snape expected the boy would push his hand away the moment he touched him, but thought that if he made the boy feel safe perhaps then he would stop crying and listen to what he had to say. Eventually, Albus began to calm down and even though he was still alert and scared, he realised that if Snape was about to harm him, he would not comfort him in such a genuine manner, would he?   
When Snape felt Albus was as calm as he could possibly be in the current situation, Snape moved in front of the boy again and whispered: “I’m not going to hurt you, Albus. I promise I just want to talk to you.”  
Albus looked at the man through his fingers and realised that Severus seemed both concerned and sincere. Slowly Albus dragged himself to his feet and, still sobbing slightly, he walked towards the chair Snape was indicating to him.  
“Are you okay?” Snape asked, looking at Albus slouching in Snape’s armchair.  
Albus didn’t answer.  
“Did you want a drink, perhaps?” Snape asked, to which the boy nodded. Getting Albus a glass of water, Snape returned and watched the boy take a sip. But before Albus’ lips touched the glass, he pulled drink away and refused to drink it.  
“What’s the matter?” Snape asked looking curiously at Albus, for his behaviour was unusual.   
“I don’t want a drink anymore, thanks,” Albus whispered quietly.  
“Why not? I haven’t done anything to it, I don’t wish to harm you,” Snape reassured him.  
“I know, but I know why I am here and I’m not telling you anything,” Albus asserted loudly; if Snape was working for Greyback, there was no way he was going to drink Veritaserum by mistake after he and his family were talking about it. Although he didn’t know where the Wand and Stone were, he did know exactly where his father kept his Invisibility cloak.  
“I do not plan for you to talk; it is I who wants to do the talking. But what do you think I would want to know?” Snape asked, extremely curious.  
“Lily heard you, Mum, Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione talking. We know Greyback is after the Deathly Hallows and even though Dad seems to trust you, if you are working for Greyback, there is no way I am telling you where the Hallows are, even if you kill me!” Albus shouted, sounding much braver than he felt.  
Finally understanding where the boy was coming from, Snape smiled slightly.  
“I am not working for Greyback, but I am glad that you know about Greyback’s objectives because it seems that you are very wary of the ways in which Greyback or someone working for him may want to trick you. But seeing as I am not one of those people, I insist that you drink the water.”  
But Albus continued to shake his head.  
“Okay, then. Well, now that you have settled down, I want to explain the vision your father just had-”  
“I don’t need you to explain it to me! I’m not stupid! You killed Dumbledore! My father named me after a murderer!”  
“I did kill Dumbledore and yes, your father did name you after a murderer, but you don’t know the whole story and I think you should know-”  
“I don’t care! Obviously Dad is still mad with you, even though he acts like he has forgiven you, deep inside it’s obvious that he regrets naming me after you and now my name is probably just a huge mistake. Severus killed Albus- great- my name is a joke-”  
“No! Your father did not make a mistake; he knew what he was doing and even though I thought he was stupid for naming you after me, he and your mother do not regret it. Although what he was saying whilst experiencing his vision implied that he hasn’t forgiven me, I think the effects of the potion have altered slightly to make him feel things that he doesn’t truly feel-”  
“Of course you would say that! You could just be making that up to convince me that you are a good person.”  
“Look,” Snape said a little aggressively as he flicked his wand at the door. “The door is unlocked and the moment I tell you what truly happened that night, I give you every permission to leave.”  
But Albus wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t about to wait; now that the door was open he would do whatever he could to reach it.  
“I’m not going to believe anything you tell me; perhaps my father trusted you and perhaps I did too, but now I realise I should have listened to James!”  
“No, Mr Potter. Your instincts were correct and although I still think your parents are a little foolish for naming you after me, they trust me and for good reason. I promise I won’t hurt you-”  
“Then let me leave!” Albus yelled as he tried to push past Snape, who was standing in front of the armchair he was sitting in. But Snape grabbed Albus around his waist and with two arms he held the boy close to him to prevent the boy from running away.  
“Let go of me!” Albus yelled, punching and kicking every bit of Snape he could reach.  
“Not until you listen to me. I know you are afraid-”  
“I’m not scared of you!” Albus yelled defiantly, but both Snape and Albus knew it was a lie as Albus had never felt more scared in his life. He wanted nothing more than to escape the dungeons and never return.  
“You will stop squirming this instant and listen to me!” Snape demanded loudly, pulling Albus away from him to look the boy in the face. When he bent down to do just that, however, he realised Albus had tears in his eyes. Of course the boy tried to act tough, but it seemed that Snape’s sudden outburst had scared him so violently that he was no longer trying to break free. Snape didn’t mean to be so harsh to the boy, but Albus’ willingness to disbelieve everything he said was driving Snape crazy.  
But soon enough, Albus’ tears again dissolved into sobs and Snape was beginning to lose patience.  
“I ask nothing of you except to listen to me, Potter!” Snape asserted looking into the boy’s green eyes.  
“But you’re scaring me!” Albus cried, turning away from Snape’s face as he continued to sob. Pulling the boy towards him, Snape hugged Albus gently and whispered:   
“I know- I’m sorry.”  
When Albus felt Snape’s arms wrap around him, he knew, though he didn’t exactly know how, that Snape wasn’t going to hurt him and if it was possible, his professor actually felt the opposite- he actually seemed to care. Pulling away from his professor, Albus wiped his eyes and sat back on the chair waiting patiently for Snape to begin talking.  
Relieved that the boy finally seemed to trust him, at least for now, Snape took the opportunity to begin.  
“I am sorry we didn’t tell you the truth about Dumbledore’s death. I didn’t want you and the other children to know that I killed Dumbledore because I didn’t think you would understand why I would do such a thing and I also didn’t want the whole school knowing what I did. But now that you know it was I who murdered him, I feel it necessary that you know the whole story because I wouldn’t want you thinking that I killed the man by choice-”  
“But you did chose to kill him, unless you were under the Imperius curse,” Albus pointed out.  
Severus realised that Albus made a fair point. “I should rephrase that; I wouldn’t want you believing that I wanted to kill Dumbledore.”  
“Then why did you kill him?” Albus asked; interested in what possible answer his professor could give him.  
“Do you remember when your father told you about Dumbledore’s dead hand and how it was caused by a curse that one of the Dark Lord’s horcruxes contained?”  
Albus nodded.  
“Well what he didn’t tell you was that the curse was actually spreading through Dumbledore’s body, starting from his infected hand. Luckily, the night Dumbledore obtained the injury, he summoned me to him and I was able to stop the curse from spreading, containing it temporarily in his hand. Unfortunately, Dumbledore didn’t summon me soon enough which meant that the curse would travel throughout the rest of his body and eventually kill him. He had about a year to live. When I told Dumbledore this, he was delighted; he seemed to think that his plan was working out perfectly.”  
“What plan?” Albus asked.  
“Dumbledore already knew I made the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy which required me to kill Dumbledore if Draco was unable to. Of course, in making that vow I had no intention of actually killing Albus, even if Draco couldn’t do it. But once Dumbledore discovered he was going to die regardless, he insisted that if the moment presented itself, that I would kill him so that the Dark Lord would have no doubt that I was working for him. This in turn would allow me to gain in depth insight into the Dark Lord’s plans and also the appointment of Headmaster which allowed me to converse with Dumbledore’s portrait. So the night your father and Dumbledore went to the cave to retrieve the Horcrux, a war had broken out in Hogwarts castle. Draco managed to allow passage to several Death Eaters who raided the castle, distracting the staff and students so that Draco could kill Dumbledore upon his return from the cave. Although I don’t know the exact story, from what I can gather, Dumbledore and your father arrived on the Astronomy Tower after seeing the Dark Mark and Dumbledore ordered Harry to get under his invisibility cloak and come to find me so that I could complete the Unbreakable Vow. But it would seem that Dumbledore used a body bind curse to stop Potter from moving any further so he would be undetectable when Draco turned up and disarmed him.   
“Not long after, I arrived, for I didn’t know there was a fight happening above as I was in my office. When I stood in front of Dumbledore, he begged for me to kill him like I told him I would. This way, his plan would still be intact. I didn’t want to kill him, however, because that would mean that Potter and everyone else in the Order of the Phoenix would no longer trust me and I did not want that. I told him as such through some very fast Legilimency and Occlumency exchange and he acknowledged this but also stated that one day, they will know the truth and thank me for it. I doubted this very much, but realizing that Dumbledore’s plan would fail if I didn’t kill him, I did Avada Kedavra, hating myself as I did it. I then fled from the tower, taking Draco with me. But soon enough your father caught up with us. He was running after me, yelling at me like there was nothing he would like better than to kill me himself. He was extremely upset, but so was I, not that he knew it at the time. Dumbledore was the only person who trusted me completely and knew which side I was truly on and why. He always insisted to anyone who would listen that I was essentially good and that was something I always valued about Dumbledore. But instead of being able to honour him as a friend I ended up killing him for what he always asserted as being for the ‘greater good’. When your father told you about the memories I gave him just before the Dark Lord was defeated, I included memories showing him that it was on Dumbledore’s request that I kill him and not of my own accord. Yet despite giving him these, I was still unsure whether or not your father forgave me for killing him. It was not until recently, when I spoke to your father a couple of days after he did his speech in my class that I realised he had forgiven me and even named you after me. That is why I was so surprised by your name because I thought that after all of the pain and loss I had caused him, he would never want to honour that, honour me…” Snape finished.  
“But what you did was honourable,” Albus insisted.  
“You do not need to say such a thing, you have the right to say whatever you wish, Mr Potter,” Snape asserted, a little embarrassed.  
“I know, but Dad was right, you were brave. No matter how much someone begged me, I could never kill them, especially if they were my friend. And who knows, maybe if you hadn’t killed Dumbledore and became Headmaster at Hogwarts, Dad may not have succeeded or my mother may have died under the rule of another Headmaster. It may have been a good thing that Dumbledore died, Professor Snape,” Albus asserted.  
“You may be right, but even so, killing someone still comes at a price,” Snape replied, wanting Albus to understand the full implications of murdering another person.  
“What do you mean?”  
“The main reason why Dumbledore didn’t want Draco to kill him was because Draco was still a boy and he didn’t want such a young person to have his soul torn apart-”  
“What? I don’t understand.”  
“When you kill a person, it damages your soul and tears it apart so that you become less whole. Dumbledore didn’t want Draco to be damaged in such a way for something he didn’t even want to do-”  
“And yet, Dumbledore asked you to kill him?”  
“Well as you know I had killed a few people when I was still a Death Eater, so Dumbledore did not seem to think it was such a problem, especially because my mind set would be that ‘I was helping a friend’,” Snape said in a mock tone, still a little annoyed at Dumbledore for believing that that would make a difference.  
“You don’t think your soul was torn apart do you?” Albus asked curious.  
“Of course I do, there is always a heavy price for murder and that was it. I felt it tear, I know it happened,” Snape asserted a little defensively.  
“What did it feel like?” Albus asked wide eyed.  
“Like… like a part of me was tearing up inside, like I could never be whole again, I felt like I was a bad person,” Snape answered quietly, looking down at the ground.  
“Are you sure you weren’t just feeling guilty?” Albus asked kindly.  
“Guilty?”  
“Yeah, I mean, perhaps that’s what severe guilt feels like. When Dad told me about Voldemort splitting his soul into seven, he and you told us that it made him less human. But you’re not less human. No one could only have half a soul and still be as whole as you. Even Dad said that you seem more human now than you ever seemed to be when he was young. Perhaps the guilt you felt when you killed Dumbledore changed you? But I think Dumbledore was right, perhaps because you didn’t want to kill him it didn’t harm your soul… Dad said only true evil damages your soul, but you’re not evil, you just made a choice.”  
“A choice to kill someone-”  
“And yet Dad knew this and still named me after you? He obviously didn’t think you were evil simply because you killed Dumbledore. When he found out what you did, he realised that you remained loyal to Dumbledore and he honoured you for that. You made the right choice, the choice that Dumbledore wanted you to make. In a way you honoured Dumbledore by killing him…” Albus said, remembering the words his father always told him about making a choice between what was right as opposed to what was easy.  
Snape listened patiently to Albus’ words and when he finished, Snape couldn’t help but feel hopeful. Although he realised the boy couldn’t have developed such morals on his own, he realised that Potter most likely instilled such ideals in his son. Nevertheless he felt grateful that Albus didn’t like him any less for murdering Dumbledore and again Snape was forced to conclude that children really could understand ones intentions if you just spend the time explaining it to them.  
“Perhaps you are right, Mr Potter,” Snape admitted.  
Albus nodded, smiling. “Is there anything else you are hiding from me?”  
“No,” Snape replied with a small smile on his face. “That is all. You now know as much about me as your father does.”  
“Wow, I thought that when my Dad first told me about you on Christmas Eve that you were a very brave and loyal person, but now I can see why he so badly wanted to talk to you and be friends with you; you are an amazing person; you loved my grandmother and were loyal to Dumbledore and you made sacrifices for both of them.”  
Standing up, Albus wrapped his arms around Severus waist and whispered:   
“Don’t change.”  
Although Snape felt he could never make such a promise, he replied nevertheless:  
“I will try.”  
Releasing his professor, Albus looked at Snape and said with a smile:  
“I’m so happy my parents named me after you.”  
As Snape led Albus out of his office and towards the hospital wing, Snape whispered in reply: “Me too.”


	19. A strong bond of friendship and trust

“Madam Pomfrey?” Harry murmured drowsily, having just woken up. “Did Al come to visit me while I was asleep?”  
Poppy, who was near Harry’s bed undergoing another medical check up, replied:  
“Yes, he arrived whilst you were having another vision. That was about an hour ago now,” Madam Pomfrey said looking at her watch. “Severus went after him, I’m sure they’ll be back soon,” Poppy continued kindly, knowing how much Harry would worry about his son.  
“Why? What happened? What kind of vision did I have?”  
“I’m sorry Harry, I don’t know. Severus called for me while he went after Albus. I had no idea what vision you had because once I arrived, the vision was too advanced; you were yelling: ‘Kill me! Kill me!’  
“It seems that Snape allowed my vision to go too far. I wonder what-”  
“Dad?” Albus said as he and Snape walked through the doors to the hospital wing.  
“Albus, thank god you’re alright. What happened?” Harry asked as he gestured for Albus to come towards him.  
“Oh, well I came up here to say goodnight to you but you were having one of your visions and I couldn’t help overhearing…”  
“What vision was it?” Harry asked urgently, looking between Al and Snape. “What did I say?”  
“You were reliving the moment Dumbledore died and the things you yelled at Professor Snape afterwards.”  
“I’ll be in my office if you need me,” Madam Pomfrey said as she left the room, realising that this was a conversation she had no need to participate in.   
Now Harry understood why Severus left to follow Al.  
“I’m so sorry, Al. I’m sorry for lying; we really should have told you-”  
“It’s okay, Dad. Professor Snape explained what happened,” Albus said with a smile.  
Harry looked at Snape who had so far remained silent since he and Al arrived at the hospital wing.  
“Well, I’m glad Snape took the time to explain it to you.”  
“Yeah, but I can’t believe he killed Dumbledore just because he was asked to. I could never do that, could you Dad?” Albus asked, still in awe of Snape’s loyalty.  
“No, I couldn’t,” Harry answered, still looking at Snape.  
“But you were right when you said Professor Snape’s the bravest man you know.”  
“I know,” Harry said grinning broadly, looking at Snape whose expression was impassive. “But are you sure you are okay with your mother and I naming you after the person who killed Abus? Are you sure you’re okay with this?”  
Al nodded vigorously, wanting to emphasise just how ‘okay’ he was.   
“But I think that Professor Snape believes he now only has half his soul. Try to convince him otherwise, Dad.”  
Snape looked away from the boy and his father- he didn’t want Potter to know this particular fear of his.   
Harry of course knew the implications of killing another human being, but he never once considered if Severus’ murder of Dumbledore would have had the same effect due to the strange circumstances under which it occurred.   
Despite never having thought of this possibility, it didn’t take Harry long to conclude that Severus had an intact, undamaged soul. Even so, Harry wanted to know what his son thought.  
“What do you think, Al? Do you believe that perhaps Professor Snape is right?” Harry asked.  
“No, because I remember you telling me that a damaged soul makes the person more dark and evil. Professor Snape isn’t like that; he didn’t kill for greed or because he’s a… psychopath. He did it out of loyalty; he was selfless. You agree with me, don’t you, Dad?”  
Harry smiled, he had never smiled so broadly, so freely in his life.  
“I agree with you one hundred percent Al and I’m sure, with time, Professor Snape will agree with us too,” Harry said, smiling at Snape, who was struggling to maintain his composure of indifference.  
“Well, you had better be going to bed, Al. You have class tomorrow morning.”  
“Yeah, I know Dad. Okay, well goodnight,” Albus said, hugging his father. As he walked towards the door, he turned to his professor and said: “Good night Professor Snape and thanks.”  
Snape nodded, but didn’t look at the boy; he was lost in thought.  
“Are you okay, Snape?” Harry asked once Albus left.  
“Mmhmmm,” Snape murmured.  
“You’re very quiet, is there something you want to discuss?” Harry wheedled, trying to work out what was on Snape’s mind. But Snape didn’t answer him.  
“I suspect that Al wasn’t so accepting of the situation when he first found out. I hope he didn’t cause you any problems?”  
“No, it was fine Potter. I was the one who told you not to tell him; it was the least I could do. But just to be aware, your children and Miss Weasley know that Greyback is after the Deathly Hallows-”  
“What? How did they find out?”  
“Your daughter heard myself, your wife and Mr and Mrs Weasley discussing it last night. The children seem to be determined to ensure any information Greyback may want remains a secret. Even Albus refused to drink from a glass I gave him just incase I had contaminated it with veritaserum.”  
“I’m sorry about that, but at least he was being cautious- not that he has anything significant to reveal anyway…”  
“Potter, I never thought you could be so clueless,” Snape said sourly, amazed that Harry didn’t realise how much Albus or any of the Potter children could help Greyback.  
“I assume you have forgotten that your children know where your cloak is?”  
Harry completely forgot about that; he had never felt so stupid. Now he was glad Lily overheard the other adults talking.  
“My god, I completely forgot. Do you think I should talk to them?”  
“I think they have it under control. Perhaps let them have some responsibility. They seem to be determined to help,” Snape advised, remembering how motivated Albus seemed when he told Snape he knew about Greyback’s plans.  
“Perhaps you’re right… So what’s bothering you?” Harry continued to pry, trying to work out why Snape still seemed to be in a different world.  
“Nothing, Potter, I’m just tired.”  
“Is it Al? Did he say something? Actually, how did you get him to believe you?” Harry asked, completely ignoring Snape’s insistence that he was simply tired.  
“For obvious reasons, he thought I would harm him in some way. I regret to say that I was a little forceful with him because I did not think it would be wise to allow him to return to Gryffindor Tower believing that I killed Dumbledore without any regrets. When I caught up to him, I used ‘silencio’ to ensure he could not be heard, and brought him to the dungeons. When I told him that I didn’t want to kill Dumbledore, he began to listen to me. When I had finished, he was content with the whole situation and as you can tell, he seemed to think more highly of me, much to my surprise…”  
Harry was smiling. He was delighted that Snape was realising just how much children could understand if you give them the chance and make the effort to explain.  
“Considering everything that has been happening the last couple of days, it seems like you and Al have become close,” Harry asserted, dying to see how Snape would react to such a statement.  
Snape froze at these words; he didn’t know how to reply. Of course what Harry said was correct, they had become closer and Snape believed that Albus now trusted him and thought him to be a good person. But to say they are close would be taking it a little far, or so Snape thought, but yes, he couldn’t deny they had a relationship of some form.  
“We have an understanding, but we are not close,” Snape said quietly.  
“If you say so; I’m sure my son would come up with a different story,” Harry said still smiling. It amused him greatly that Snape and Albus were becoming well acquainted due to circumstance as opposed to choice. He loved the way things were occurring especially because now his son truly understood why he and Ginny wanted to name their son after Severus.  
“So, what’s bothering you?” Harry persisted yet again. Snape was getting a little fed up with Harry’s continued prying and thought he should answer, if only briefly.  
“The last vision you had… for some reason you seemed to be saying things you do not actually feel. I am trying to think of reasons why this may occur. I don’t think I made a mistake with the potion…” Snape wondered out loud.  
“What kind of things did I say?”  
“That you regretted naming your son after me- but perhaps you do feel that way-”  
“Absolutely not, that is definitely far from what I feel,” Harry said seriously. “What else did I say?”  
“There is only one other I can remember, which was that you would always think of me as the man who killed Dumbledore and you could never forgive me for that.”  
“That’s wrong too… So you think that there is a reason why this is occurring? Have you come up with any ideas?” Harry asked, getting a little worried that Snape seemed so concerned.  
“I do not believe the issue is serious, but it is something I was not expecting. I have thought of some possibilities, however. It could be because of time; when I made the potion I did not think the sufferer would still be so rational, but because you have family and people monitoring you, that has kept you more stable. What I am trying to say is that usually, if no one is there to hug the sufferer then they will be at the stage you are now within a few hours. But due to us being around you, it is only now that you are beginning to utter false statements with regard to your feelings. Another possibility is severe, but also plausible which involves your brain beginning to malfunction so that when you are experiencing a vision, it can no longer tell what is true as opposed to false. Consequently you may say things that are not true, but when out of your vision-seeing state, you realise that they are in fact false. Of course, this is not a serious problem yet, but it is possible that such false pretenses will eventually develop in your brain, which may then lead to some serious problems,” Snape explained, but when he saw the shocked look on Harry’s face, he added quickly. “But the latter will not happen for a while yet, so we are in the clear for now. The potion is almost ready to be consumed, so Nocens Memoria will not have the opportunity to affect you as severely as I have suggested.”  
“So which out of the two do you think is most likely?” Harry asked, greatly concerned.  
“I think it is a combination of both,” Snape said, half confident. He was sure one or both of the possibilities were correct, but exactly what was causing the issue, he didn’t know for sure.  
“So what should we do? Is there a need to contact Ginny?” Harry asked, wanting to do something about the problem at hand; he didn’t want to be unable to determine his true feelings from false ones for the rest of his life.  
“I will be feeding you the remedy potion on Tuesday. There is no need for alarm; Nocens Memoria won’t work that quickly upon your brain. If you wish I can contact your wife, but I wouldn’t concern her with this until after work. Perhaps you can tell her then?” Snape suggested, realising that the differences in Harry’s symptoms, though they interested him greatly were not of any great danger, or so Snape felt.

Soon thereafter, Snape left Harry’s bedside, informing Poppy of this on his way out and went down to the dungeons to check up on the potion before falling onto his bed and sleeping reasonably peacefully.  
However, Harry was still having visions. Although he managed to not have any while Snape was present, he had one almost the moment Snape left, causing Poppy to get out of bed to attend to him. Harry had yet another rough night and continued to vocalize things that were not representative of his true feelings. Poppy noticed this and became concerned when it got to a point where Harry made false assertions about the vision without any ounce of truth. She had every mind to contact Severus, but decided against it, thinking that Harry would be fine until morning when Severus could test and monitor Harry’s vocalizations himself. Of course, Harry was still dangerously weak due to the continued effects the potion was having on him, but both Snape and Poppy were content that, although weak, Harry has been stable and was not deteriorating, which was of course, a good sign.

The following morning, Snape walked to the hospital wing to quickly visit Potter before his first lesson. On the bedside table was a note from Poppy informing Severus of the changes she noticed in Harry during the night. Snape’s face contorted for a moment, before he looked impassive once again. Snape was worried- a little. He knew the potion would be ready to give Potter the following morning and although Harry’s physical health was stable, his mental health seemed to be deteriorating. Snape knew how complicated the brain is and realised that he would never be able to pinpoint exactly where in the brain his potion was affecting Potter. What he did know however, was that Harry had to be given the remedy potion as soon as possible. In the mean time, he needed to be monitored closely. If the first possibility he recounted to Potter the previous night was correct, there was little to worry about seeing as it is simply a delayed symptom of the potion. However, if his latter speculation is accurate then there would be the possibility that Harry may sustain permanent damage. After doing a few magical tests on Potter, Snape had the indication that Harry was still, in every sense of the word ‘sane’. But Snape did notice that this level had decreased only very slightly since the previous day. If it continued at this rate, they had nothing to worry about, but if it sped up for whatever reason… well Snape didn’t want to think of what would happen. He had every intention of asking Minerva if he could have the day off, but thought against it, realising that Poppy would be more than capable of monitoring Potter. Writing a letter to the matron, Severus explained what could possibly be happening to Potter and informed her of exactly how to monitor his mental efficiency and to contact him if there was any change, significant or not. Realising he only had five minutes to get to the dungeons for his lesson with the first years, Snape left the hospital wing and made it just in time for class.

*****

“How’s my dad, Professor Snape?” Albus asked at the end of class.  
Deciding that now would not be the time to explain the potential complications that he noticed the previous night, Snape replied: “He’s doing well, Mr Potter.”  
“That’s good.” Albus said happily as he ran out of the classroom for a quick break before charms.  
Once Albus reached the Great Hall, he found James and Rose already sitting at the Gryffindor table talking together.  
“Hey!” Albus said as he sat down to enjoy a few snacks.  
“Hi Al, how’s your dad?” Rose asked.  
“Professor Snape said he’s doing well.”  
“That’s good,” James answered with his mouth full.  
“Hey, what time did you get back to the common room last night? James and I were up until ten, where were you?” Rose asked, very curious to know why it took her cousin so long to say goodnight to his father.  
“Oh, yeah. Perhaps I’ll tell you guys at lunch,” Albus said, realising just how much he hadn’t told his brother and cousin; he still hadn’t told them about Snape being a Death Eater and loving Lily.  
“Can’t you tell us now?” James pestered, realising that Albus’ news must be pretty interesting if he wanted to discuss it at lunch when they had more time.  
“Nah, it’ll take too long. How about we meet in the Entrance Hall after our next class?”  
“That’s fine with me,” Rose answered.  
“Fine...” James replied sourly.   
Soon the bell rang and Rose and Albus went off to Charms whilst James headed towards the Transfiguration classroom.

Finally, when class had finished and the three children had met in the Entrance Hall, they entered the Great Hall, sat down at the end of the Gryffindor table and piled their plates with food.  
“So, what did you want to tell us?” Rose asked.  
“Do you remember the night when Dad was attacked and Professor Snape came to the dormitory to talk to me?”  
“Yeah,” James answered, scowling a little.  
“Well, he told me some stuff, I was going to tell you that night, but you were mad at Professor Snape,” he said looking at his brother, “so I decided to tell you another day.”  
“So what were you going to tell us?” Rose asked, realising that Albus must have found out something important about Snape.  
“Don’t tell anyone, because I know Professor Snape doesn’t want anyone else to know, which is why he didn’t tell us on Christmas Eve. But anyway, he was Death Eater-”  
“I knew it!” James exclaimed.  
“Shhh…” Albus hissed, seeing Snape turn to look at them from the Staff table.  
“I knew he wasn’t someone who could be trusted-”  
“Yes he is! You have to let me finish. Anyway, he was only a true Death Eater for a few years but while he was, he overheard the prophecy made about Dad and told Voldemort about it, not knowing who it referred to. He later found out that the prophecy referred to Dad and from that point on he turned against Voldemort and worked for Dumbledore.”  
“Why?” James demanded.  
“He was in love with our grandmother, with Lily.”  
“What?!” James exclaimed. “That’s crazy.”  
“So that’s why he changed sides; to make up for what he did?” Rose asked.  
“Yeah, so when Dad came to Hogwarts, Professor Snape protected Dad, to ensure that Dad would at least have the chance to face Voldemort and that Grandma’s death wasn’t for nothing.”  
“Wow, he was even braver than we thought; he didn’t simply spy on Voldemort, he turned against him,” Rose said in awe.  
“And that’s not even the most amazing part: Professor Snape created Nocens Memoria-”  
“Wow…” Rose said, impressed.  
“So it’s his fault Dad’s-”  
“No, it isn’t James. He created it, brewed and kept it in his stores, intending to use it on himself and had no intention that someone would take it. Greyback stole it, thinking it was Veritaserum to use against Dad.”  
“But why would Professor Snape create such a terrible potion?” Rose wondered out loud.  
“Voldemort asked him to and once he had worked out how to make it, Voldemort looked over it and used some of his ideas in the potion he used to protect the Horcrux in the cave.”  
“So the potion Dumbledore drank was similar to the one Uncle Harry drank,” Rose realised; she loved how things were coming into place and making more sense.  
“But doesn’t that mean Dad will die like Dumbledore did?” James asked, concerned. Rose’s expression soon turned into worry and panic, but Al reassured them:  
“No and I found out why last night.”  
“Why, then?” James asked.  
“Dumbledore didn’t die from the potion, Dad just used that plotline to avoid telling the truth because Professor Snape didn’t want us to know just yet,” Albus explained.  
“So how did Dumbledore die?” James asked, realising that his death obviously had something to do with Snape.  
“Professor Snape killed him but-”  
“What? You can’t be serious?” James exclaimed; he was not expecting this.  
“Just let me explain. You remember how Dad told us about the ring Horcrux and how Dumbledore’s hand looked dead? Well, his hand was dead and the curse that caused it was still in Dumbledore’s body. He was going to die anyway-”  
“Yeah, but-”  
“Dumbledore knew he was going to die and thought that it would be best if Professor Snape killed him because he didn’t want Draco to and also because Voldemort would then trust Professor Snape completely and then he would be able to give Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix valuable information.”  
“Why didn’t Dumbledore want Draco to kill him?” James asked. “Malfoy was always mean to Dad.”  
“Well, if you kill someone your soul becomes damaged; it tears apart and Professor Dumbledore probably did not want one of his students to be damaged just because Voldemort asked him to murder someone,” Rose asserted. Albus was nodding.  
“That’s right. So basically, Dumbledore asked Snape to kill him, so that Draco didn’t have to and that way Voldemort would never doubt his loyalty. Professor Snape didn’t want to do it, but when he arrived that night on the Astronomy Tower, he communicated with Dumbledore via Occlumency and Legilimency and eventually he killed him. He told me that he thought his soul was damaged that night, but Dad and I think Professor Snape’s wrong because he didn’t want to kill Dumbledore and also because he seems too human to only have half a soul. Do you guys agree?” Albus asked looking between his cousin and brother.  
“Yes, I agree,” Rose asserted. But James still looked skeptical.  
“But how do we know all of this? He may be lying, perhaps he did want to kill Dumbledore,” James suggested, trying to find a way to prove that Snape could still be even a little bit bad.  
“Nah, Dumbledore was the only person who trusted Snape completely and the only one who knew that he loved Lily and why he changed sides. I could tell when Professor Snape was telling me that he was telling the truth- he still regrets killing his friend.”  
“Wow, I don’t think I could ever kill my friend, even if they begged me,” Rose said in awe.  
“Me neither Rose,” Albus agreed. James remained silent.  
“Also, I forgot to tell you that I saw Professor Snape’s Patronus the night he saved me and Dad from the Dementors.”  
“Ohhh, what is it?” Rose asked, eyes wide; she had been dying to find this out since he refused to show them on Christmas Eve.  
“It’s a doe.”  
“A female deer?” James asked, smiling. “Fancy a male wizard with a female Patronus”.  
“Oh, you’re so clueless James! It would be representative of his love for Lily!” Rose exclaimed. “That’s so nice. I bet you she’s beautiful,” Rose continued, looking at Albus.  
“Yeah, she was actually. And you’re right Rose, Grandma’s Patronus was a doe too.”  
“So he really must have loved her…” James said quietly.  
“Yeah, cos Dad said that Patronuses never lie,” Albus reminded his brother, glad that for the first time, James seemed to understand just how brave and loyal Snape was.  
“Well I can see why your mum and dad named you after him, Al. He was braver than any of us would have guessed,” Rose said. Albus nodded.  
“And I guess that’s why Uncle Harry was so sure Professor Snape would not hurt him on Christmas Eve, he knew that he would not intentionally harm the son of the woman he loved. No wonder why he hated your grandfather so much,” Rose said, happy that finally the facts were coming together to form a complete picture.  
“And why he didn’t want Dad to see the memory where he called Grandma a ‘Mudblood’, because that was the last time he and Lily were friends. After that, Lily wouldn’t talk to him and he felt really terrible.”  
“How exactly did he tell you all of this?” James asked suddenly. “He’s doesn’t seem the type to talk much.”  
“Well, both times, he talked quite a lot. He made me listen to everything he wanted to say to ensure that I understood. He actually isn’t that bad of a person, he even comforted me the night Greyback fed Dad the potion.”  
James didn’t say anything, but looked up at Snape who was still eating lunch at the staff table and listening to something Minerva was saying.  
“Well he’s totally different to what I was expecting. Did your Dad know he was so… kind?” Rose asked.  
“No, he was surprised when I told him what Professor Snape did. I don’t think he expected it and neither did Mum. I think they named me after him because of how loyal he was to Dumbledore and Lily, I don’t think they realised he was actually a decent person, if you know what I’m saying,” Albus said, trying to imply that there was a difference between a good person and a nice person.  
“Yes, I understand. It was as if they knew he was loyal, brave and on the good side, but never realised how kind and empathetic he could be, I guess because they never saw that side of him.”  
“Yeah, that’s right. Anyway, I thought you both should know what I found out. Dad should be better tomorrow morning because Professor Snape has been brewing the antidote potion and he says that it will be ready by then.”  
“Do you think they’ll let us be there when your Dad drinks it?” Rose asked, thinking that it would be an interesting experience.  
“I don’t know… maybe not, just in case something goes wrong.”  
“Nothing will go wrong, Professor Snape wouldn’t make a mistake when he was the one who created the potion in the first place,” Rose asserted confidently; she had every faith in Snape; she had never met someone so talented and intelligent.  
“I hope so, Rose,” Albus said, a little worried about the possible things that could go wrong- what if his father had these visions forever?  
The bell rang for the next class. Rose and Albus said goodbye to James as they walked towards the potions classroom. James waved goodbye and met up with some of his Gryffindor dormitory mates to walk down to the dungeons together for Defense against the Dark Arts.

*****

“Class dismissed,” Snape said as the bell rang and his second year students began to pack up their things and leave the dungeon. Snape was at his desk, ruffling with the pile of assignments his students had just handed in. Looking up, he saw that one of his students had not left yet and was still packing up his books.  
“Mr Potter, what are you doing?” Snape asked, realising that it wouldn’t take even the slowest student any longer than three minutes to pack up their things. James jumped and looked up at his professor; he was lost in thought and completely forgot that Snape was in the room with him.  
“Oh, um nothing,” James answered quickly.  
“Well you best get to your next class,” Snape said dismissively, he really had no interest in James other than as his student. Although he was Harry Potter’s son, he knew that James didn’t trust him and therefore didn’t see the point in prolonging the conversation any longer.  
“But I wanted to say something…’ James trailed off.  
“Your father is doing well, if that’s what you are concerned with,” Snape answered, thinking that the boy would likely be worried about Harry.  
“Yeah, I know, Al told me,” James answered looking at the ground.  
“Well what did you want to say then?” Snape asked, extremely curious now.  
“During lunch, Al told Rose and me everything you told him about you being a Death Eater and loving Dad’s Mum and you killing Dumbledore and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what I said on Christmas Eve; I didn’t know…” James said hurriedly, he simply wanted to apologise to Snape in the least awkward way possible and get out of there.  
Snape smiled slightly. Although he was not expecting James to say such a thing, he was happy the boy seemed to trust him now. Snape also thought that Albus was courageous to tell James what he knew, after all, there was every possibility that James may have turned against Al. But Snape was happy to see that James seemed to understand his actions and thought momentarily that perhaps it would have been best to tell them the truth from the beginning.  
“I accept your apology Mr Potter. I am glad you now know about my past, but I ask you not to share it with any of your classmates.”  
“Okay,” James said. After packing his bag, James swung it over his shoulder and said: “bye” to Professor Snape before leaving for Charms.

*****

That night, Snape, Ginny, Poppy, the children and even Minerva were congregating in the hospital wing around Harry, who had only just woken up.  
“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Ginny asked kindly, passing her husband a glass of water and his glasses.  
“Lousy. I feel so tired and- woah!” Harry exclaimed when he put on his glasses and saw how many people were with him.  
“Hi Daddy,” Lily said excitedly.  
“Hi Lily, are you being good for Mummy?” Harry asked his daughter, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her.  
“Yes,” Lily said proudly.  
“And how are you three? Still enjoying Hogwarts?” Harry asked. He tried to turn to look at the children on his left, but his neck was stiff and his head was aching.  
“Hogwarts is awesome!” Albus said happily.  
“What you been doing? Had any assignments?”  
“Yes, I handed in a Defense against the Dark arts essay today,” James asserted.  
“Oh really? What was it about?”  
“Werewolves” James answered. Harry smiled.  
“Did you learn anything else today? Anything exciting?” Harry asked, wanting to know what sort of things his children were learning; it was also a way of distracting him from the pain he was feeling.  
“Well during lunch, Albus told us the things he found out about Professor Snape,” Rose said.  
“What did you find out about Professor Snape, Al?” Lily asked, looking excited. “Can you tell me?” she asked, but then saw the way Snape was looking her and decided she would drop the topic for now.  
“I’ll tell you when we get home,” Ginny said, looking apologetically at Snape, she was sure the man would hate for all of them to discuss his past right in front of him.  
“Well I am sure Al’s retelling of Snape’s past must have been very interesting,” Harry continued.  
“It was!” Rose exclaimed. Then turning to Snape, she exclaimed: “You are so intelligent and so brave. I think it’s amazing,” Rose praised, much to Severus’ embarrassment for being addressed in such a way.  
“Just don’t let your father hear you say that,” Ginny said, amused by Snape’s changing face colour from pale white to a tinge of pink.  
“I don’t care what he says, Professor Snape is loyal, powerful and kind, there is no question about it,” Rose asserted to her aunt, absolutely convinced that if Ron ever said anything against Snape, she would be there to defend the man.  
Ginny smiled; glad that even their niece was appreciating who Severus is.  
“Professor McGonagall, what are you doing here? I haven’t seen you since the day I arrived,” Harry asserted, looking at Minerva with interest.  
“Well I had a bit of time on my hands so I thought I would come and see how you are going. Professor Snape tells me that the potion will be ready tomorrow morning, so I thought I would come and see your progress,” Minerva asserted.  
“Thank you Professor. May I ask how come there have been no students in the hospital wing? I haven’t seen a single pupil, other than my children.”  
Minerva smiled. “I have placed a charm around the wing that only allows your family, including extended family, Professor Snape, Poppy and myself to enter. So when students walk by they simply see a closed door and are not able to enter. Similarly they are unable to hear what is said in the wing because goodness knows every student would want a glimpse of you and what you may be discussing if I didn’t take such precautions.”  
“Thank you for doing that, we really appreciate it,” Ginny said, smiling at Minerva.  
“It’s no problem at all. Well now that I have had an update on your condition, Potter, I will take leave and get back to my duties. I hope the potion Severus has brewed for you will bring you back to excellent health. I look forward to seeing you walk out of Hogwarts healthy once again.”  
“Thanks, Minerva,” Harry said, feeling optimistic about the following day.   
Suddenly, Harry’s optimism dissolved into sadness as another vision consumed him. Minerva didn’t even get to the door before Harry started talking in a panicked way.  
“What do you mean she’s underweight? How can she be under-developed? You told us it was safe to have them now! So now you’re saying we should have waited longer? What do you mean it wouldn’t have made a difference? You never told us this could be a possibility! No, an apology isn’t good enough; this is my daughter we are talking about here! I want answers! How can she only have one lung? Why didn’t you notice it before? You have done plenty of check-ups on Ginny. No, don’t you leave me; I want you to tell me what we can do about this! Nothing? Nothing! Come back here right now before I curse you so severely you’ll never be the same again!”  
Harry continued to yell at the Healer he was envisaging whilst everyone in the room remained silent. Tears were pouring down Ginny’s face as she stared at her husband. No one moved. Everyone was silent.  
“Ginny, they said Lily won’t make it, she’s just too weak. I know, honey, I’m sorry, there’s nothing they can do. We’ll have to pray for her to get better, the healers are trying everything- what? What’s happening? She’s- she’s stopped breathing? But- but… Oh my god, Ginny. Shhh, it’s okay honey, we’ll work it out. Albus is healthy and one day we’ll tell him about his twin sister-” suddenly Ginny burst into tears and buried her face on Harry’s shoulder. Poppy ran to Ginny’s side and patted her on the back. Lily was crying quietly and James and Al both looked stunned as they watched their mother and father mourn for the daughter they once had, if only for a moment.  
But soon, Ginny wasn’t the only one crying; Harry, though still experiencing his vision was sobbing as he said: “She had my mother’s eyes. If she had the chance to grow up, I know she would have looked exactly like my mother. But she’s okay now, sometimes these things happen Ginny. Don’t cry sweetie,” Harry said, tears pouring down his cheeks. “We’ll have the two boys to look after, and we’ll become a great family, you’ll see,” Harry comforted his wife who, to him, only existed in his vision.  
Suddenly, Harry’s face contorted and his tone changed, causing Ginny to move away from him as he began to move violently.  
“But our family is not the way we hoped it would be. We weren’t able to discipline and teach Albus and James like we wanted- we miss Lily too much. What have we done? I want to die! I don’t want to watch my family fall apart…”  
Snape looked around and saw the motionless individuals watching the man on the bed suffering. Was it possible that after all this time, no one had thought to relieve the man of his misery?  
“Move aside,” Snape said somewhat aggressively, as he approached the opposite side of Harry’s bed to where Ginny was standing and hugged the man before more tears were shed by the onlookers or Harry. Slowly, Snape could feel Harry’s breathing slow down to a normal level. Once he felt the man’s vitals return back to normal, he lowered Harry onto his bed and stood back. Harry had fallen asleep; the poor man was so weak that his visions wore him out to an almost dangerous level.  
Ginny was still upset, tears pouring down her face as she stared absent-mindedly at her husband. Finally, Lily broke the silence.  
“Dad doesn’t really think that we’re bad children does he?” she asked tearfully.  
“Oh no sweetie,” Ginny replied through her tears.  
“It would seem that your father says things that he doesn’t necessarily mean, Miss Potter,” Snape explained.  
“Does that mean Dad’s getting worse then?” James asked, still shaken by what he had just heard.  
“The symptoms are progressing, but there is nothing to worry about just yet,” Snape said.  
“But there could be something to worry about?” Ginny asked.  
“I highly doubt it, Ginny,” Severus replied.  
“Is this what Potter has been experiencing ever since he consumed the potion?” Minerva asked the room at large, disturbed by what she had just seen and heard.  
“Yes,” Snape answered the headmistress. “He relives his worst memories in chronological order,” Snape explained.  
“My goodness, that’s terrible. How could you create such a thing, Severus?” Minerva asked, completely bewildered that Snape created such a potion at such a young age.  
Snape looked at Minerva aggressively, he did not want to discuss his part in the experience, he already felt guilty enough as it was and did not need Minerva to question him further.  
“Ginny, did you want to talk about it?” Poppy asked, her focus primarily concerning the woman who was still crying and seemed particularly disturbed by her husband’s most recent vision.  
“No, it’s okay, Poppy, thank you,” Ginny replied through sobs.  
“Can you tell us Mum?” Albus asked, a little confused by which parts of Harry’s vision were and were not true.  
“Oh, of course, sweetie. I’m so sorry, you three,” she said looking at her three children.  
“That’s okay, Mum,” James said.  
“As you probably gathered from what your father said, Albus had a twin sister. The Healers said they were perfectly healthy in the womb and it was only after Albus and your sister were born that the Healers noticed that she only had one lung. Your father and I were completely shocked and very upset because we couldn’t understand why the Healers hadn’t picked it up before. We didn’t know what to do; we were so excited about having twins, we had your room set up and everything. Unfortunately your sister did not survive the night. There was nothing they could do to save her; she had been born too early and the lung she did have was smaller than it should have been. We mourned terribly for Lily, but with Albus and James to care for, we had to move on, even though we have never forgotten her. We told each other that we would tell you that you had a twin, but as time went on, we thought it would be too painful; we didn’t want to go back there. I am so sorry, we should have told you,” Ginny said looking apologetically at her youngest son through her tears of grief and guilt.  
“That’s okay Mum, Lily is with us now anyway,” Albus pointed out, even though it pained him to see his mother so upset, he loved his younger sister. Although he would have liked to have had a twin and even though the death of his then sister was very sad, Albus was trying to look on the brighter side- for his mother.  
“I know, sweetie. Your father and I decided two years after you were born to have another baby and we were so glad that it was a girl and named her Lily Luna, after your twin sister who passed away two years previously.”  
“Did my twin sister really look just like Dad’s mum?” Albus asked.  
“Yes, she did,” Ginny said smiling as she remembered her beautiful daughter. “She had the same eyes as you and your father, and you could already see the red hair on the top of her little head. I thought she looked very much like the woman she was named after.”  
“But I don’t have green eyes,” Lily said a little disappointed that she didn’t look like her grandmother.  
“But that’s okay, Lily. You still have gorgeous red hair and besides, it doesn’t matter if you don’t look like Lily, your father and I love you just the same,” she said smiling at her daughter. Lily smiled back.  
“Contrary to what your father said, however,” Ginny continued, looking a little concerned. “We have been very happy and although we keep little Lily close to our hearts, we love you three very much and wouldn’t change anything for the world,” Ginny said looking intently at her three children, wanting them to understand that what Harry had said towards the end of his vision was false.

Harry stayed asleep until everyone had left the hospital wing to go to sleep. His children, wife and the staff who were present left soon after Ginny spoke about Harry’s vision. Pretty soon, Ginny and Severus were the only one’s left in the hospital wing as Snape was doing a last minute check up and Ginny still seemed to be dwelling on Harry’s vision. Lily was sound asleep on another hospital bed.  
“I will give Harry the potion early tomorrow morning, so that when you arrive he should be recovering. Is that okay with you?” Snape asked kindly, not wishing to distract Ginny from her thoughts, but felt that he needed to discuss the matter before he went to bed.  
“Are you sure you don’t need me here? I can take the morning off work,” Ginny asked, wanting to be here if Severus needed her.  
“No, I will be able to manage and if I need any help, I can call upon Poppy for assistance. I will, of course, inform you if something does go wrong, but I believe Potter will heal nicely, just how I planned,” Snape asserted.  
“Okay, well thank you for everything, Severus.”  
“Not a problem. But before I go, I thought you would be interested to know that your eldest son apologized to me after class today for the things he has said to me.”  
“Did he? Well I am glad he listened to Albus, I was wondering how he would have reacted to finding out the truth.”  
“Rather well, it would seem,” Snape replied.  
“Yes, well thank you again. I will see you tomorrow afternoon,” Ginny said as she kissed her husband on the cheek, gently woke up Lily and walked out of the hospital wing.  
“See you tomorrow Potter,” Snape whispered to the sleeping man as he too left the hospital wing to check up on the potion one final time before he too, went to bed.

*****

“Potter, wake up,” Snape said quietly, shaking Harry gently to wake the man up. Harry was starting to move under the covers. Opening his eyes a little bit, having recognised that it was Snape waking him, he asked: “Why?”  
“It’s six in the morning.”  
“Exactly,” Harry replied wearily.  
“I need to feed you the potion before my class begins. I want to make sure you are making a good recovery before I leave your side. So I need you to wake up so we can get started,” Severus encouraged.  
For a moment, Harry completely forgot he was taking the potion that morning, but soon remembered and hastened to wake up, excited that this draining illness was finally going to be lifted off him. Harry he sat up, his head pounding. After putting on his glasses, Harry noticed the cauldron Snape must have levitated up from the dungeons. Inside was a bright red liquid that was bubbling over a fire. Snape conjured a goblet with his wand and dipped it into the boiling concoction. Carrying it over to Harry, he said:   
“Potter, I need you to drink this whole goblet, try not to spit any of it out. We can wait until it cools down a little, but you still have to drink it warm.”  
Harry nodded. Panic was beginning to rise within him. What if something went wrong? What was going to happen once the potion began to take effect?  
“Snape, do you know what the potion will do?” Harry asked, trying not to sound worried.  
“I haven’t consumed it myself, so I don’t know what it will feel like as such. The potion is supposed to correct any damage or malfunction that was caused by Nocens Memoria. So basically it should correct the chemical imbalance the original potion caused. As to what that feels like, I have no idea, but I would imagine that the potion itself won’t taste very pleasant. Nevertheless, I ask that you try to drink as much of it as you can.”  
Harry nodded, feeling a little sick; he was nervous- not even Snape knew what to expect.  
“I think the potion is cool enough for you to drink, Potter,” Snape said, handing the goblet over to Harry.  
Harry took the goblet with a shaking hand, touched his lips to the liquid to test the temperature and then began to drink. Snape was right, the potion did taste revolting, and although it was not nearly as bad as the Polyjuice potion, that was probably because he had a bit of Goyle in the mixture. Harry drank the red potion as fast as he could without spitting or choking. When had finished, he gave the goblet back to Snape.  
“Very good, Potter. Now I suppose we wait and see what happens.”  
Snape got up to wash the glass at a nearby sink as Harry slid back down under the covers waiting for something to happen.

Suddenly, Harry felt it- a headache so powerful that he yelled in pain, holding his head, trying to rub his temples to relieve the pain, but it didn’t work.  
“What’s the matter, Potter?” Snape asked, worried as he ran to Harry’s side.  
“It’s like someone is hitting my head with a hammer every second. Jesus, make it stop!” Harry yelled.  
Snape whipped out his wand and began to do several tests on Harry. He could see that Harry was in fact in great pain, but ironically the potion was working, Snape just had no idea how painful it was going to be.  
“What’s happening to me?” Harry asked loudly, trying to stop himself from throwing up from the pain.  
“The potion is working,” Snape assured him.  
“Are you crazy? It can’t be working; I don’t feel any better!” Harry yelled back at him.  
“I know, but the potion is finding all of the damaged places in your brain and fixing them so that the chemicals in your brain are at the correct levels for normal functioning. It may take some time.”  
“How long? This is excruciating, Snape!”  
“I’m sorry Potter, but-”  
“Can’t you make it stop? Or give me some pain killers or something?”  
“No I can’t, it would prevent the potion from having an effect on you.”  
“Arrrggghhhhh!” Harry yelled in response, not being able to speak, only scream in pain.  
“Just relax, Potter, the pain will go away,” Snape said, trying to comfort the man through his suffering.  
“Relax? I can’t relax! This is a thousand times worse than when my scar hurt.” Nevertheless, Harry tried to relax by taking deeper breaths and closing his eyes. It didn’t do any good and before Harry knew it, tears were falling down his face, whether from the pain or the fact that he felt so terrible and useless, he didn’t know.  
“Please make it stop!” Harry begged, opening his eyes to look at Snape.  
“This has to be done so that you can get better, Potter. I will not let you give up now-”  
“Ahhhh! But Snape, I don’t know if I can- ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Harry yelled as a splitting bolt of pain just cut across his mind. Snape reached for Harry’s hand and held it tightly in his. Harry squeezed Severus’ hand, his teeth clenched as he tried to inflict on the man a fraction of the pain he was experiencing. Snape could feel the circulation in his hand decreasing, but never once considered pulling his hand away. He was the one who created Nocens Memoria and its antidote, and if Harry was experiencing such severe pain because of it, he wasn’t leaving until Harry was no longer suffering.  
Harry held onto Snape’s hand like it was his lifesaver, the one thing keeping him tied to reality and away from the painful hell he felt he was in.  
Harry was still breathing deeply, trying to control his tears as he thought of something other than the pain he was experiencing, but nothing was able to distract him. While Harry was occupying Snape’s right hand, he used his left to continue monitoring Potter and was glad that most of Harry’s brain seemed to be back to normal. The frontal lobe was left and unfortunately that was the main lobe of the brain and one that would likely cause tremendous pain.  
Sure enough, Harry suddenly became rigid and then screamed like he had never screamed before.  
“ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY GOD! MAKE IT STOP!” He yelled, sobbing as the pain threatened to take over his mind and body. Snape realised that Harry was giving up; his body was becoming weaker. Because Harry wanted the potion to stop causing him so much pain, the potion, though still healing Harry, was not working as efficiently- giving up would only cause more pain, but how was Snape to convince Harry of this when he is already in so much agony?  
“Potter, it won’t take much longer. Don’t give up yet-”  
“It’s not working,” Harry whispered, though still clearly in pain.  
“Yes it is, if you could just-”  
“My head is killing me, Snape, it’s not working!” Harry insisted, and Snape began to realise that even the antidote for Nocens Memoria tested ones belief in the medicine.  
“Listen to me, Potter!” Snape demanded loudly; he had to take control. “I know it is painful, but if you don’t believe the potion will work, it won’t. You must believe you will get better, you cannot give up when you are so close,” Snape asserted, looking at Harry’s tear stained face. Without saying anything, Harry changed his mind set and put all of his energy into believing that despite the blinding pain, he will get better.   
Grinding his teeth, tears still pouring down his face as he took deep breaths, Harry tried to relax despite the hammer that seemed to be pounding in his head. Snape was still holding Harry’s hand, but the man wasn’t squeezing it as hard as he was previously. Snape was glad that Potter was at least trying to overcome the pain, no matter how painful.  
Just when Snape thought all was going well-  
“ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHH! IT’S GETTING WORSE!” Harry yelled as he wrenched his hand from Snape’s and held his head, closing his eyes as tightly as he could, trying to block out the pain. “Are you sure this is working?” Harry asked, opening his eyes for the first time in minutes to look at Snape.  
Of course, there was a moment when Snape thought that perhaps the potion wasn’t working, but he wasn’t about to show that moment of doubt to Harry; he had to have faith too.  
“It is working Potter, but you need to relax-”  
“Relax? Relax? How in hell am I supposed to relax, Snape?”  
“Well firstly, stop yelling and secondly, stop crying-”  
“I’m not crying-”  
“And third, do not argue! Now close your eyes and just relax because getting upset isn’t going to help.”  
“I’d like to see you try-”  
“Potter! That’s enough! If you don’t start to relax, the potion will never work and you’ll be in pain for a lot longer than you need to be.”  
Resigning, Harry closed his eyes once again. Harry was still mad that Snape made it sound like he was weak for not being able to put up with the pain. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t block out the pain, letting out a whimper or yelp every few seconds.   
Snape noticed this and was wracking his brain trying to think of a way he could reduce the pain or at least help the man get past this section of his recovery in a more ideal way. He thought about contacting Ginny so that she could comfort her husband, but she would already be at work by this time. He knew that he could handle what was happening without her or Poppy for that matter, but he knew how stubborn Potter could be and thought the man would prefer someone, other than Snape, to be with him.  
Snape did another check up on Harry and saw that he still had about half of his frontal cortex left before his brain would be completely back to normal. Realising that this would take at least another ten minutes of pain, Snape decided he would at least try to reassure Harry of this.  
“Potter, there will be about another ten minutes of this-”  
“TEN minutes! Are you crazy?” Harry demanded, but then tried to calm down; yelling made his headache worse.  
“As I was saying, in ten minutes, you’ll be free of the pain forever, so just try to relax, take deep breaths-”  
“ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD DAMMIT!” Harry yelled, half sobbing.  
“Don’t cry again, Potter, you need to be brave-”  
“I’m trying!” Harry hissed back through clenched teeth.  
“I know-”  
“I can’t help but cry out Snape, the pain is so- AHH! MY GOD! CUT IT OUT!” Harry yelled, rubbing his head again. After the pain subsided a little, Harry asked: “How do you know this potion is going to work anyway? What if you made a mistake and this isn’t supposed to happen?”  
Of course, Snape had considered this possibility but again, he didn’t allow that to show in his words or expression.  
“You just have to trust me, Potter,” Snape replied quietly, realising that for Harry that was probably the hardest thing to do at the moment.  
After a moment’s pause, Harry whispered: “I do trust you, Severus, but my head is killing me.”  
“I know, but it won’t be much longer,” Snape said, trying to reassure the man lying down next to him.  
And then, finally Harry let his guard down and said what he longed for the most:   
“I wish Ginny was here,” Harry whispered, as a couple of tears fell down from under his eye lids.  
These words made Snape’s heart jump; he felt so much empathy towards the man that he put down his wand so he could rub Harry gently on the shoulder. This seemed to calm Harry a little, even though neither Snape nor Harry said a word to each other.  
How many minutes went by, they didn’t know. With Snape’s warm hand in his left now and Snape’s other hand on his shoulder, Harry felt comforted and safe, even if he wasn’t Ginny, Snape was nearly as good. The rhythmic rubbing of Severus’ hand on his shoulder and the hand that grasped back allowed Harry to remain grounded, remembering that someone was there for him- all was not lost.  
Finally, Harry’s pain subsided to nothing. Harry was so relieved the pain had left him that he let go of Snape’s hand and let out a huge sigh of relief, breathing deeply. After a couple of minutes, he opened his eyes and saw Snape had his wand out and was doing another check up on him.  
“How do you feel Potter?” Snape asked the man.  
“Much better,” Harry replied smiling; he felt completely back to normal.  
“You don’t feel weak anymore?”   
“Nope,” Harry said excitedly, he felt like a child. He couldn’t wait to see his children and wife again because at least now, he wouldn’t be worried that he may have a vision in their presence.  
“Well everything seems back to normal, Potter. You can go home if you wish, but you should probably stay here until I can check up on you tonight.”  
“Okay, but before you go, I want to ask you something. I woke up late last night and no one was here. Did I fall asleep again?” Harry asked.  
“Yes, you had another vision and the experience made you tired.”  
“Oh, what vision did I have?” Harry asked; worried as to what his children would have seen and heard.  
“The death of Lily, Albus’ twin sister,” Snape replied quietly, realising that Harry wasn’t likely to take this news lightly.  
“Oh my god and all the children were here weren’t they?”   
“Yes as was I, your wife, Poppy and Minerva.”  
“Did Ginny explain what happened?”  
“You did most of the explaining through your vision, but yes she explained it further to them. They seemed okay with it once they understood,” Snape reassured Harry.  
Harry nodded.   
Snape transported the cauldron still filled with red liquid, back to his dungeon. Realising he only had fifteen minutes before his morning class with the sixth years, Snape said:  
“I must get ready for my next class. I will see you tonight, Potter.”  
“Thank you, Severus,” Harry replied, feeling very grateful towards the man. Snape could tell Potter wasn’t just referring to his creating the potion, but the comfort he gave him too.  
“Thank you for trusting me. I know it must not have been easy, but you managed to get through it,” Snape said quietly as he walked towards the door.  
Harry smiled as he watched Snape walk away and then sitting up in his bed, he grabbed his wand from the top drawer.  
Holding out his wand, he yelled: “Expecto Patronum!” Harry laughed as he saw the great silver stag canter out of his wand, so happy that he could perform magic again. He was surprised by how quickly the red potion seemed to work, though after so many minutes of agony, Harry decided that the potion was obviously as effective as it was painful. Although Snape was the one who created Nocens Memoria to begin with, he was also the one who made Harry better and even helped him believe when he had lost all faith. Harry began to realise Snape was more than a man who loved his mother, and more than Dumbledore’s loyal spy; he was a friend.


	20. People his enemies are close to...

When James, Albus and Rose visited Harry later that morning, they were delighted and relieved that he was back to his normal self. This allowed them to concentrate more fully on their classes that day.   
After their classes were finished, they met Ginny and together went to visit Harry to see if he could come home, after Professor Snape did some final tests on him, of course. Luckily, Harry was perfectly fine and Snape was glad that the remedy potion worked as planned. Ginny and the children couldn’t thank Snape enough for what he had done, though only Ginny knew exactly what did happen earlier that morning as Harry took her aside to tell her in private. Ginny was extremely grateful towards Snape and although she didn’t think it would be right to bring up what happened with the man, she hoped that he could sense her gratitude.  
That night, after having dinner in the hospital wing, Ginny and Lily went home with Harry and arrived safely with no sign of Greyback or Dementors near Hogwarts or their home. Hoping against all hope that Greyback had given up on looking for the Hallows after failing his first attack, Harry was able to sleep peacefully that night.   
The following morning Harry returned to the ministry as Head Auror and was greeted enthusiastically by Ron who was glad to have his best friend back in action. But Harry knew that there were a few things he needed to discuss with the department, so he organized a meeting that concerned all of the Aurors and Kingsley. Assembling in one of the meeting rooms within the ministry, Harry called the forty or so people to order.  
“Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt your conversations but I won’t be long here today,” Harry said, adopting his authoritative tone. The room went silent as they looked up at the standing Harry.  
“My apologies for being absent the last couple of days, but for those who don’t know why I was ill, I think it necessary to inform you because it could be a very important issue for this department.” Harry now had everyone’s attention and although most of them already knew why Harry was absent, they didn’t know the whole story and were dying to know more.  
“I have evidence that Fenrir Greyback, a known werewolf and once a follower of Lord Voldemort is now at large.” A few wizards looked at each other concerned, but a majority already knew this fact.  
“We also believe that he is responsible for releasing the Dementors, however we are unsure exactly how he is managing to do this. I can assert however, that he is planning to obtain information which would be very dangerous to the wizarding world should he retrieve it. As Head of the Auror department, I must emphasise how important it is that he does not obtain this information.”  
“What information are you speaking of?” One of the Aurors asked. He was young and had only recently become an Auror. Harry had trained him himself and knew that the young man, at only twenty one years of age, had great potential.  
“What I am about to tell you is a secret, I will bind each of you to keep this information strictly to yourselves by way of this contract,” Harry indicated a piece of long parchment in his hand. “Everyone in this room must sign it before I tell you anything further. If you do not wish to sign then I must ask you to leave, I’m sorry,” Harry said apologetically but with authority. He knew he was being strict and perhaps a little too paranoid, but if he was going to tell a group of people about the Deathly Hallows still being in existence, he needed to make sure that all of them will keep it a secret from anyone who may be in Greyback’s league.   
One by one, every witch and wizard stood up and signed the paper, looking at Harry a little strangely as if wondering if his time off had somehow made him abnormally paranoid. Once everyone had signed the paper, including Ron and Kingsley, Harry continued:  
“I am sorry to take such drastic measures but what I am about to say could potentially cause the downfall of the wizarding world as we know it, and I do not want to be responsible for that just because I wasn’t careful enough. Last Friday my son was targeted by Greyback. Thankfully, my son wasn’t injured and that it wasn’t the full moon. It appears however, that Greyback was hoping to obtain information from me. At first, I did not know what information he could possibly be after, but after conversing with Severus Snape-” there was a lot of whispering at this, so Harry thought perhaps he better clear Snape’s name for those who were still suspicious.  
“I know that many of you are still concerned about the loyalty of Severus Snape. I will assert to all of you that Severus is definitely on our side and always has been. If you are unable to work alongside such a wizard then I must also ask for you to leave; unless you are willing to listen to his advice and accept his help, I am afraid I will have little use for you.” No one moved; it seemed they all trusted Harry enough to trust Snape.  
“Anyway, Greyback sent the Dementors after me but because I was so worried about my son, I wasn’t able to produce a Patronus which made me weak and vulnerable. Severus then came and used his Patronus to deter the Dementors, but was unable to stop Greyback from feeding me a potion-”  
“What potion was it?” A female Auror asked; she was gorgeous and very talented, but perhaps a little too sure of herself at times.  
“The name of the potion is not of any concern and I am not going to go into detail about its name, its origin or what it did because we will never see it again. What I will tell you is that it made me incapable to work until Severus was able to brew the remedy potion which took three full days. However, what will interest you most, and what I wanted to talk about with you today, is that Greyback thought the potion was Veritaserum. We, meaning myself and Severus have since concluded through various means that Greyback is interested in finding the Deathly Hallows-”  
“But you said many years ago that they were destroyed,” Kingsley interrupted, hardly believing that Potter lied about something so serious.  
“I am aware of that and I apologise for lying to all those who heard me announce it. However, I thought it was for the best that I tell the lie so that no one would look for them. Unfortunately, we are almost one hundred percent certain that Greyback knows they are still in existence and is currently finding a way to obtain them. Now, here is where our department comes in. For those who are not aware of what the Deathly Hallows will do once combined, allow me to explain. The tale goes that if all three are combined, the holder of them will become immortal and be the master of death. If Greyback manages to do this, the world will be in grave danger. So the main objective is to ensure that Greyback never, under any circumstance discovers where these objects are. Luckily, only four people know the exact location of all three objects and they are: Ron,” Harry said, indicating his friend to his left, “Ron’s wife, Hermione who works in the Department of Magical Law enforcement; my wife, Ginny and myself. My children know where one of the objects is, but that is all. Of course, Ron and I are going to do everything we can to alert our children and our wives to what is happening and ensure that under no circumstance will we risk being contaminated by Veritaserum or be persuaded to give the information away. However, I ask that everyone present here today ensure that if you hear anything of Greyback’s actions or objectives that you please inform Ron or me of this information. Also, if there is a battle and it seems that Greyback is desiring to capture any of the people I have mentioned, I request that you do everything in your power to ensure that he does not get the opportunity to do so. I know this is a huge request, but I think everyone agrees that unless we keep alert and do what will ultimately benefit our world, everything will fall apart. Also, as a final reminder, the contract you have all signed will alert me to anyone who willingly tells another person about what we have discussed today. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask me, otherwise, thank you very much for your time and I hope that with your cooperation and excellent skills, Greyback will never succeed in his plans.” Harry finished and looked at the many witches and wizards who stared at him momentarily before getting up and walking towards their offices.  
“No offence, but you sounded so much like Hermione just then,” Ron said, smiling slightly as he approached his friend.  
Harry smiled back. “I know. Do you think the whole contract thing was going a bit far?” he asked, remembering all too well the method Hermione used during their fifth year to detect any betrayers in Dumbledore’s Army.  
“Perhaps, but still, if any of the Aurors did betray us it would be useful to know exactly who did it so we can kick their arse,” Ron said, contemplating which curse he would use if anyone broke the contract.  
“I don’t think anyone will betray us, to tell you the truth, but we have to be cautious; we can’t make any mistakes.” Harry reinforced, wanting Ron to know that despite the contract, he did trust everyone who was present at the meeting. Harry just hoped that with the Aurors being aware of Greyback’s ultimate goal that perhaps they will be able to stop Greyback from obtaining what most men desired: invincibility. Harry shuddered to think what would happen if they failed…

*****

 

Whilst Harry was in the Hospital Wing, the rest of the school seemed to be restraining themselves from asking Al, James and Rose any questions with regard to Harry’s health and wellbeing. But now that Harry was well and away from Hogwarts, nearly every person the children came across wanted to know how Harry is. Al, James and Rose couldn’t deny it; they loved the attention and although they knew they shouldn’t be basking in their father’s fame, it was nice to know that people seemed to care for Harry. One particular afternoon during charms, Rose and Albus were working at their desk next to a couple of Slytherins who even made the effort to ask how Harry was. Rose and Al were completely shocked by this because, after all, the Slytherins very rarely talk to them, and when they did, their tone was usually of sarcasm. But today, two Slytherin boys- Al and Rose didn’t even know their names, asked how Harry was going.  
Al answered that his father was well and thanks for their concern to which they replied in a sincere and genuine tone: “Not a problem.” When Al looked beyond his two Slytherin classmates however, he saw Scorpius staring at him only momentarily before he looked away and continued practicing a Levitation charm.  
“Hey, Rose,” Albus whispered to his cousin.  
“Yeah?” Rose replied whilst controlling her feather which was high in the air.  
“Look at Scorpius for a minute,” he said quietly making sure no one else could hear.  
Rose, lowered her wand and looked at the boy her cousin was referring to.  
“He looks a little pale,” Rose said a little concerned. “Perhaps he has the flu? I heard it has been going around even though it’s spring,” Rose suggested.  
“Nah, I don’t think so, he doesn’t seem sick… perhaps he’s stressed.”  
“Well of course he is stressed, the exams aren’t far away. I also heard that he wasn’t doing very well in Defense against the Dark Arts, so perhaps he is worried about that?”  
“Maybe,” Al said, still looking at Scorpius who was struggling to levitate his feather.  
“But it’s not just that,” Albus continued. “Recently he hasn’t been talking much to anyone. When was it the last time you saw him with his friends… he’s a bit of a loner these days,” Albus said a little concerned by the sudden change in Scorpius’ behaviour.  
“Like I said, maybe his father is putting the pressure on him to do well and he’s cracking,” Rose asserted, returning back to her feather.  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” but even as Al said it, he knew it was something else that was troubling Scorpius. He was tempted to ask the boy himself, but thought that perhaps he would be rejected or he wouldn’t answer truthfully. Regardless, Al knew something was wrong… something bigger than school marks and exams…

 

*****

 

Finally the weekend arrived and it was clear that the majority of the school was glad to be able to catch up on their homework or at least, in Rose’s case, this meant studying hard for the final exams.  
Professor Snape on the other hand was to be found on Saturday morning, sitting at his desk marking a recent batch of assignments he received from his sixth year class and was able to assert that the standard wasn’t all that bad. Another thing Snape wasn’t expecting was a pecking at his window, a large black eagle was flying outside. Snape leapt up to let the bird in, recognizing it as one of the eagles Lucius used to bring packages to Draco when he was at Hogwarts. Hoping that nothing was wrong, Snape carefully took the letter from the eagle and opened it hurriedly to read:  
Dear Severus,  
Lucius and I wish to invite you to our manor tonight for a small discussion, followed by dinner. Myself, Lucius and Draco have been keeping an eye on Scorpius’ marks in Defense against the Dark Arts and we are a little concerned that he is not up to standard. We would greatly appreciate it if you could give us an update on Scorpius’ doings in the classroom and ways in which he can improve.  
Please send your reply by return owl.  
Narcissa Malfoy

Snape had never received a private letter from Narcissa before, but had seen her writing several times when either she or Lucius would write a letter of complaint to him regarding Draco’s punishments whilst he was a student. Snape was looking forward to spending a quiet weekend in his office, but thought that perhaps he should go and see the Malfoys, especially because Scorpius’ marks in his subject were below par. Writing on the back of the letter, he asserted his attendance at their manor at 6pm, signaled their eagle to him, and watched the bird fly back to its owners with Snape’s letter tied to its leg. Turning back to the impressive essays he was reading, Snape resumed marking, giving the current paper a large, red ‘E’.

Snape spent a majority of the day in his office marking papers. He wondered if Scorpius knew about the somewhat formal meeting he was going to have with his father and grandparents, so kept an eye out for the boy when he did manage to escape his office. But he never saw Scorpius. A little concerned for Scorpius; the boy didn’t seem well of recent, Snape planned to ask the Malfoys about the boy and his wellbeing when he went to dine with them that night. At 5:55pm, Snape informed Minerva quickly that he was going to be at the Malfoys’ for the night and then flooed to the Malfoy manor from his office fire place.

Narcissa Malfoy was waiting for Severus, wringing her hands and looking more pale than usual. She watched apprehensively as Snape stepped out of the green flames.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus,” Narcissa whispered, as she clung onto Severus’ arm as they walked towards the dining room.  
“What are you talking about Narcissa?” Snape asked, noticing the panic and fear that was evident in the woman’s tone.  
“I couldn’t help it,” she continued as if she couldn’t hear anything Snape was saying to her.  
Thinking that perhaps this was something to do with Scorpius, Snape was about to ask if she was referring to some mistake she made with regard to her grandson. But as Snape walked towards their dining room, his worry for Scorpius multiplied tenfold, not because the boy wasn’t there, but because he was…

*****

“Well, well Severus, I’m glad you could join us,” Greyback said, smiling in a way that made Snape’s stomach churn. “I am glad to see that an invitation from your friend’s wife is enough to initiate an interest in you, for I was unsure whether you would show up.”  
Snape was scared, not for his own life, but for Scorpius’, who was being held forcefully by Greyback. Draco and Lucius were standing next to them, both as pale as Narcissa, looking as though they had both given up on the current situation.  
“Would someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Snape asked angrily; exactly what was the meaning of this meeting? What did Greyback want exactly?  
“Well someone is impatient,” Greyback sneered. “If you haven’t noticed, I am here at the Malfoy manor to bring you out of Hogwarts.”  
“And what makes you think I want to talk to you?” Snape asked, both fury and fear filling him.  
“It’s not a question of whether you want to, Severus. I give you no choice. So far, Narcissa has obeyed my orders by writing to you with a plausible excuse to have dinner, and Draco has fetched his son from school under my command. I am hoping you will be as smart as they have been.”  
Snape didn’t know what to say. He knew that if he obeyed whatever command Greyback was about to give, he may be saving his life as well as those present before him, but if it had something to do with the Deathly Hallows…  
“So what is it that you want to ask me, Greyback?” Snape asked, trying to stay as calm as possible.  
“Oh I don’t want any information from you, Severus. No, no, I want you to be my pawn,” Greyback growled- so far his plan was going perfectly.  
“And exactly what do you want me to do?” Snape asked, shaking slightly with rage.  
“To be honest, I am surprised you haven’t already done it.”  
“What are you talking about?” Snape asked aggressively.  
“I thought for sure when you laid eyes on me, the first thing you would have done is contact Potter. It is he I want to speak to, not you,” Greyback spat. “So, I ask that you contact him now by means of a letter, so I can read what you write. If you don’t, I will take Scorpius and ensure he gets bitten tonight.”  
At this, Narcissa yelped and sobbed quietly on her husband’s shoulder. Lucius hadn’t moved a muscle since Snape arrived.  
Snape looked quickly between the people present. He knew that Greyback would not be lying with regard to the full moon being present tonight because although Snape hadn’t noticed himself, Greyback would surely have picked tonight so he could have an excellent incentive for the Malfoys to do his bidding.  
Snape didn’t know what to do; he was sure Greyback must have some plan, probably Veritaserum, to use against Potter once he arrived and Snape knew that once infected, there would be nothing he could do to stop Potter from telling the truth. But at the same time, he didn’t want Scorpius to become a werewolf, especially after everything Lucius had done for him.  
“Come on, Severus, we haven’t got all day,” Greyback hissed, wanting to hurry Snape along.  
“How can I be sure that you will let Scorpius go if I contact Potter?” Snape asked, wanting a sure way of not getting ripped off by the werewolf.  
“If you make an Unbreakable Vow with me that you will contact Potter via the exact means and words that I give you, then I will make another Unbreakable Vow promising to let him go if and only if you contact Potter first.” Greyback said looking serious. It seems that as long as Snape contacted Potter, he didn’t care about Scorpius’ being there or not. Looking at Narcissa, Draco, Lucius and Scorpius in turn, all of whom were pale and extremely frightened, feeling both hopeless and terrified, Snape said:  
“You will make an Unbreakable Vow with me first, stating that you will release Scorpius of any physical or magical restrain or damage after I have contacted Potter. Is that clear?” Snape demanded with confidence, wanting to make sure that if he was risking Potter coming here, he had to make sure that Potter was the only person he needed to worry about.  
“And once I have made that vow, you will contact Potter or otherwise, I will bite Scorpius once the moon rises,” Greyback asserted with an equal amount of confidence. Snape looked out the window and saw that they had an hour, if that, for Potter to arrive and ensure that Scorpius was out of danger.  
Snape nodded and Narcissa walked up and bound the Unbreakable Vow between Fenrir and Severus. Snape then conjured some parchment and a quill with his wand and sat at the dining room table, ready to write whatever Greyback wanted him to.  
“Potter,” Greyback began in dictation. “I am currently at Lucius’ manor and he has revealed to me important and urgent information with regard to Greyback and his plans. I think it would be ideal for you to meet us here so that we can discuss these recent findings. You may use the floo network to get here, simply shout ‘Malfoy Manor’ and I will greet you when you arrive. Please come as soon as you can, Severus Snape.”  
Greyback then snatched the letter out of Snape’s hand and read it over. When he was satisfied, he ordered Lucius to fetch their eagle again so the letter could be sent.  
“Give this letter to Harry Potter,” Lucius told the eagle, quietly and with great regret in his tone. The eagle flew away and once it was out of sight, Snape stood up quickly and spun around to look at Greyback.  
“Now let Scorpius go,” he said in a deadly whisper.  
Greyback, who had been holding the boy sharply to his side, released the boy, who ran to his father. Draco bent down and hugged his son quickly. For the first time that night, he spoke:  
“May I take Scorpius home to ensure he is completely safe?” Draco asked, not really expecting Greyback to allow him to do such a thing.  
“I suppose that would fulfill the Unbreakable Vow I made,” Greyback said thoughtfully. “But if I allow you to do this, we must make a vow asserting that you will not return until after 11pm tonight when I am sure to have finished with Potter. Until this time, no one from your family will return here until my work here is done, is that understood?”  
Draco, looking both resigned and tired, nodded and walked forward to make an Unbreakable Vow with Greyback, his mother completing the charm. Kissing his mother on the cheek, Draco ran beyond the boundaries of the manor, his son next to him as they Apparated home.  
“I have no use for you any longer,” Greyback said looking at Narcissa and Lucius. “I do not want you to hear what answers Potter may give me, so I order the both of you to go to your bedroom and not interfere at all with my interrogation of Potter tonight.”  
Resigned, the Malfoys looked solemnly at Severus before turning and leaving the dining room.  
“Wait! Where do you think you are going? Are you just going to obey everything the man tells you to do?” Snape asked furiously, surprised that both Narcissa and especially Lucius would give up so easily; Lucius knew what was at stake after all.  
Narcissa turned around, with tears in her eyes: “We’re so sorry, Severus, but before you arrived, Lucius and I made an Unbreakable Vow with Greyback that we would obey his every order for the rest of the night to ensure the safety of Scorpius, Draco and ourselves. I’m so sorry, Severus,” she whispered, tears falling down her pale cheeks. “Be careful.” Narcissa finished and ran after her husband who was already ascending their stairs towards their bedroom.  
“Before you go to the fireplace to wait for Potter, I insist that we make another Unbreakable Vow.”  
To be honest, Snape was getting tired of these Unbreakable Vows, but of course he expected nothing more of Greyback. But unlike the Malfoys, Snape hadn’t made an Unbreakable Vow with the man to obey his every order and had no intention of making another one, even if that meant a duel, severe injury or even death. He chose to spare Scorpius’ life and risk Potter’s because he was relying on somehow being able to alert Harry before he made contact with Fenrir. But making a vow would erase all possibility of warning Potter and that situation was one Snape was not going to allow to happen.  
“No, I am not going to make another Unbreakable Vow with you. There is no way I am allowing you to get away with this so easily!”   
To Snape’s horror, Greyback laughed.  
“Well whether you like it or not, Potter is on his way, so either you can wait here for him and bring him to me without uttering a word, or I can kill you right now. Either way, Potter is still at risk. So… what will it be?” Greyback asked with an evil grin; the werewolf knew he had won.  
But Snape saw a third option: duel Greyback and avoid being killed as best he could.  
Whipping out his wand, Snape prepared himself for the first real duel he has had since his early days as a Death Eater. Greyback laughed maniacally as he too pulled out his wand. Without any words flowing between them, the two men sprang into action. It was a duel like none other. Though it would never meet the standards of those who witnessed Dumbledore and Voldemort’s duel at the ministry many years previously, it was still spectacular. Due to both wizards being able to do Legilimency and Occlumency, curses and hexes were blocked and reversed with such quick movements of the men’s wands that it was impossible to keep track. But due to there being several prized objects displayed in the manor and furniture in their way, the duel, though intense was not as spectacular as one may expect of the two wizards. Snape was trying not to lose his composure; Greyback was good at dueling and it was at this point that Snape knew that someone must have been helping the man for he guaranteed that there was no way Greyback could have learnt such efficient dueling without a tutor and much practice. Also, Snape was not so much attacking as defending because once Harry entered the living room, he would surely hear the commotion and if Snape was responsible for Potter’s death or injury, he would probably hope for death himself. Of course, there was a small part of Severus that hoped Harry would not receive the letter or perhaps decide against coming, but like most of Severus’ wishes, this one did not come true.

 

*****

“Ginny, I’m going to the Malfoy Manor for a short while. Severus and Lucius have discovered more information about Greyback and wish for me to join them. I won’t be long!” Harry yelled up the stairs.  
“Not a problem. Stay safe!” Ginny yelled back as she went into her daughter’s room to kiss her goodnight.   
Harry grabbed a handful of floo powder, stepped into the fireplace, which he hoped was connected to the Malfoy Manor and yelled: “Malfoy Manor!”  
After getting the soot off his robes and stepping out of the fire place, Harry noticed the scene before him. Greyback and Snape were dueling furiously in the large entrance hall of the manor, just beyond the living room. Green curses were flying from Greyback’s wand, each narrowly missing its objective or otherwise being deflected by what must have been a very powerful shield Severus created to prevent certain death. Harry was transfixed; he had never seen either wizard duel before and was a little worried that they both seemed equally matched; he never would have thought Greyback would have magical talents that could rival Severus’. Realising he had remained stationary for too long, Harry summoned his Patronus and sent a message to Ron, telling him very briefly what was happening and to be cautious. Although he wasn’t keen to bring his best friend into what was sure to be a dangerous battle, he wanted to capture Greyback if he could and to do that, he needed reinforcements. He would have contacted more of his department, but thought against it; they were indoors and there was too much risk that people could be unnecessarily injured.   
Of course, Harry realised that the letter Snape sent, though written in the small, cramped print he remembered from Snape’s memories, was obviously a ploy to get Harry there. Harry realised that Greyback was most likely wanting to discover more about the Deathly Hallows, so Harry kept his guard up and remained alert as he approached the duel ready to enter the fray.

*****

 

When Snape saw the green flames appear in the fireplace, he knew that Harry had arrived. Luckily, Greyback was unaware of this as the two wizards continued to battle. Snape was relieved, now that Harry knew Greyback was present, he would be on his guard. But when Snape saw Harry approach the duel, he wished the man would turn around and leave Greyback to him. Although he knew Harry was a fine fighter, one mistake could lead to Greyback’s success.  
Harry’s approaching Snape distracted the man for a moment, which allowed Greyback a split second advantage; a curse was coming straight for Snape. Severus realised too late that he was about to be hit, but in a split second, Harry responded.  
“Protego!” Harry shouted as a shield-like force rose in front of Snape, protecting him from Greyback’s curse. Harry smiled at the shocked look on Snape’s face: it’s not as if Severus was ungrateful, but surprised that Harry reacted so fast. Snape’s expression was nothing compared to Greyback’s however, who believed that he had finally won the duel which would have allowed him to hide Snape before Harry arrived, so he could interrogate the man freely. But unfortunately for him, Greyback was now outnumbered two to one, and although Harry may not be able to use Legilimency like Severus could, there was no denying that he was an equally tough opponent.  
“Do you want to surrender, Greyback?” Harry asked aggressively, knowing exactly why the man was here in the first place; he could only imagine what possible dangers he must have put the Malfoys through.  
“I will never give up Potter, even if that means fighting the both of you,” Greyback growled, slightly sneering at the way Snape and Potter were standing at the ready, directly opposite him, side by side.  
“Suit yourself,” Harry replied and the three men continued to duel. Spells were flying everywhere, glass cabinets were breaking, lights shattered, the floor was littered with glass and dust, but the three men didn’t care; they were fighting for their goals and nothing could stop them from achieving them. Of course, one side had to win and which side that would be became obvious when the fireplace glowed green again and out stepped three people. Greyback may have failed to notice Harry’s entrance, but he was unable to ignore the arrival of Ron (who received Harry’s message) as well as Hermione and Ginny. Noticing that Greyback was distracted, Snape and Harry ventured a look at the fire place. Harry’s immediate instinct was to tell his wife to go home- he didn’t want her getting involved and although he didn’t think they could possibly lose now, it was still too dangerous. But both witches looked determined and the moment they laid eyes on the werewolf, it was clear that they wanted nothing more than to attack him with every curse they could think of.  
“Sorry we’re late,” Ron said smiling. Although Ron was aware that Greyback could attack at any moment, the man seemed so beyond speech that Ron doubted it.  
“Glad you made it,” Harry said, smiling back. The three of them joined Severus, Ron giving him a nod as he stood next to him and Harry. The five of them turned to face Greyback.  
“Still want to duel?” asked Harry.  
“Absolutely,” Greyback growled with his classic, evil grin spreading across his face, looking up at the moon.  
Suddenly Snape remembered: “Damn, the full moon!” he exclaimed, causing his four companions to turn pale.   
Greyback continued: “There is no way I am leaving now, not when I have such a wholesome dinner before me.” And then brandishing his wand, Greyback aimed a curse at Ginny, she dodged it just in time and sent a red, stupefy spell back at him.  
“You’re going to stun me? What good will that do?” Greyback sneered, surprised that his opponents weren’t aiming to kill.  
“So that you can suffer for everything you have done to our family and everything you plan on doing to our world!” Ginny yelled back; extremely passionate about what she and her companions were fighting for.  
“Ha! I won’t suffer, but you will,” Greyback exclaimed, as he turned swiftly to his right and silently aimed an Avada Kedavra curse at Hermione, who silently conjured a shield in front of her.  
“I see you can do Legilimency too,” Greyback sneered, though couldn’t help being impressed.  
“Of course I can; there is no way you are going to win that easily.”  
“Perhaps not in my current form, but once I am a werewolf, I am sure I will have certain… advantages,” Greyback whispered, licking his lips. Ginny and Hermione were revolted.  
“We don’t have long,” Snape said hurriedly as he saw the sun set in the distance.  
“Let’s go!” Harry yelled and all at once, all six wizards released a spell towards the opposite side. A variety of colours were flying momentarily through the air, some making contact with their targets. Harry managed to dodge the curse aimed at him by Greyback, but Fenrir wasn’t so lucky. He was hit by Harry’s Expelliarmus spell, causing the man to lose his wand. But before any of them could react, Greyback, realising he was definitely outnumbered, quickly bent down to pick up his wand and sprinted from the scene.  
The five remaining wizards watched as the man ran beyond the boundaries of the Mafloy property and Apparated as quickly as he could.   
There was silence. Finally, Harry asked the group at large:  
“Why did he run? It won’t be long before the full moon appears, he could have killed us all.”  
“Perhaps that’s just it, Harry. He didn’t want to kill us, or rather, he didn’t want to kill you. Also, he isn’t stupid: he realises he’s out numbered. What he did was pretty smart if you ask me,” Hermione asserted.  
“Damn it, I so wanted to catch him!” Ron exclaimed, clearly disappointed.  
“So did I, Ron; it would have meant we wouldn’t have to worry so much about the Deathly Hallows,” Harry replied, also disappointed that Greyback wasn’t caught  
“So, what should we do now? You don’t think he’ll comeback do you?” Ginny asked, slightly panicked.  
“Greyback doesn’t keep his mind when he transforms, just like any other werewolf,” Snape answered Ginny. “So it is unlikely he will return whilst he is still a werewolf. Also, I am sure Lucius will put up certain protective spells to ensure the man cannot enter their property without their permission,” Snape asserted, trying to reassure the others as well as himself that they were safe- for now.  
“So we can basically say that we are safe as long as we are here,” Harry said more to himself than his companions.  
“So what exactly has been happening? Why was Greyback here and where are the Malfoys?” Ron asked, looking around as if he only just realised Lucius and Narcissa were no where to be found.  
“I do not know the full story of what has happened with regard to the Malfoys and Greyback. Although I do know a little, it would probably be best if we invite them to tell us what happened,” Snape suggested, looking for the approval of the others.  
“Good idea,” Harry asserted almost immediately; he was eager to know exactly what has been happening with regard to Greyback and his plans.  
“Then I will make contact with Draco,” Snape said. However, the name ‘Draco’ seemed to ignite a fire in Ron, who exclaimed:  
“Why would you want to speak to him for?” Ron asked a little aggressively. Of course their current location was where the man used to live, but other than that, he couldn’t see how Malfoy was connected to the present situation.  
“Because Weasley, Draco was here when I arrived. He was sent home by Greyback with Scorpius and I wish to speak to him, if that suits you,” Snape replied dryly, trying to keep as calm as possible.  
“There is no problem with him being here,” Harry butted in; “the more information we can gather, the better.”  
“But, you are sure Draco is on our side, right?” Ginny added, a little uncertain.  
“I am sure,” Snape replied with confidence. “Only problem is that I do not know how to contact him to ensure that he knows it is me and not an imposter.”  
“You could use your Patronus,” Hermione suggested.  
Snape paused at this; the only way Draco would recognise the Patronus would be if his father told him about his silver doe, otherwise, revealing his Patronus would be entirely pointless. But with no other possibility he could think of, he whispered: “Expecto Patronum” and did the necessary incantations to allow his doe to deliver the following message to Draco: Draco, Greyback has left. Please come to the Manor, I wish to discuss a few things with you.  
After he watched his doe gallop away, he turned back to the group to discuss what to do next. Thinking that he should probably wake Lucius and Narcissa, though he doubted they were asleep, he excused himself and ascended the stairs to the room he knew to be the master bedroom.  
Knocking on the door, Snape heard a yelp and a cry:   
“Who is it?” Narcissa was clearly afraid.  
“It is Severus, Narcissa. Greyback has left and Potter and his, ah, friends are here. We wish to find out more information about what exactly happened tonight.”  
“We are not coming out until you can prove you are Severus Snape,” Lucius asserted and Snape had no doubt that the man had his wand brandished, ready to fight.  
Realising for the second time that night that there was no other way of proving his true identity, Snape whispered “Expecto Patronum” once more and sent his Patronus through the door towards the Malfoys. After a few seconds, Snape heard movement behind the door and stepped aside as Lucius and Narcissa emerged from their bedroom. Despite the hour or so that had passed since they were ordered up here by Greyback, it was clear that they were still shaken by the night’s events.  
“Your Patronus really is a doe,” Lucius said, smiling a little as he walked out of his bedroom.  
“I would not lie about something like that, Lucius,” Snape replied sourly, but soon the subject was dropped as Narcissa brought them back to more pressing matters.  
“Is everyone okay?” Narcissa asked faintly.  
“Everyone is fine, probably thanks to the timely arrival of Potter’s friends,” Snape reassured the woman. “I also took the liberty of inviting Draco back to the manor because Potter wishes to discuss a few things with him. I hope you do not mind?” Severus asked, looking between Lucius and Narcissa.  
“No, that’s fine; we’ll be glad to see him and make sure he and Scorpius are safe,” Narcissa answered.   
Snape, Lucius and Narcissa descended the stairs and walked towards Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. It didn’t take a genius to realise that Lucius and Narcissa had been through a lot of recent; as well as being really tired, it was also clear that the two people before them were unhealthy, anxious and shaken. All four of them couldn’t help but feel sorry for the Malfoys, something of which they never thought would happen. The group of them stood there in silence waiting for Draco to arrive so that the discussion could take place.   
Finally, a tall, pale, pointed faced wizard was seen just beyond the boundaries of the Malfoy Manor. Seeing the group of people waiting for him, he headed towards the crowd, looking around the area to ensure that Greyback wouldn’t be able to sneak up on him. Narcissa ran up to her son the moment he arrived and hugged him, sobbing as she asked if he was okay and where Scorpius was now.  
“I’m fine, Mother. I took Scorpius back to Hogwarts; he should be safe there. But- what are they doing here?” Draco asked, whispering the final sentence.  
Narcissa whispered back: “They helped Severus get rid of Greyback, I think Harry wants to ask us what we know about Greyback’s plans.”  
Draco didn’t like the sound of this; he hadn’t talked to Potter, Weasley and Granger since they were students and felt a little uncomfortable being in their presence, seeing as he knew he was at fault for the whole night’s events.  
“Come on, Mother,” Draco said quietly as he led Narcissa towards the group standing a few metres from them.  
“I assume you received my message?” Snape asked when Draco and Narcissa had joined them.  
“Yes, Father told me your Patronus was a doe. The same as Potter’s mother’s Patronus, I believe?” Draco said, trying to make conversation.  
Severus nodded.  
Draco then turned to Harry, Ron and Hermione as if silently asking for their approval.  
There was an awkward pause until finally Harry held out his hand.  
“How are you?” he asked Draco.  
“Not as well as I would like,” Draco replied as he shook Harry’s hand. Then releasing Harry’s hand, he turned to Ron, hoping for the same form of acceptance, which Ron gave however reluctantly. Hermione gave Draco a small smile and it was only then that Draco felt at ease.   
Now that everyone present seemed to be accepting of every other person, Harry wanted to get straight to business.  
“We were wondering if we would ask you a few questions about what happened before we arrived. Anything you can tell us about Greyback, how he’s been acting and any plans you think he may have would be greatly appreciated,” Harry said kindly, looking between the Malfoys.  
“We’re glad to be of any help,” Narcissa replied on behalf of her family and led the group to the dining room table which could easily sit eight people.  
“Greagor!” Lucius yelled.  
A second after Lucius had spoken, a house elf appeared by the man’s side.  
“Please get us some tea, coffee and cakes for our guests,” he said, signaling Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Severus. The latter, Greagor recognised immediately and ran up to Snape asking:  
“Mr Snape! Greagor is honoured to see you once again, sir. Have you fully recovered from your injuries, sir?” The elf asked, very excited to see a familiar guest.  
“I am much better, thank you,” Snape asserted.  
“Greagor! The food please!” Lucius interrupted, realizing that his elf could probably speak to Snape for hours if he allowed him to.  
“Of course, Master,” Greagor exclaimed as he hurried out of the dining room, his ears flapping madly behind him.

Suddenly, Harry remembered something.  
“Ginny, who’s looking after Lily? And Hugo?” He asked, looking between Ginny and Hermione.  
Ginny smiled. “You don’t think I would have left her alone at home do you? Ron, Hermione and I met up at Grimmauld Place and together we took Hugo and Lily to Mum’s.” Ginny replied, still smiling.  
“Okay, good,” Harry said, relieved. “Well, shall we begin then?” Harry suggested, receiving nods from everyone present. Once Greagor returned with a variety of cakes, two kettles of boiling water, tea and coffee, the conversation began…


	21. What I am capable of...

“We are all equally to blame for this,” Narcissa asserted miserably, gesturing to herself, her husband and son. “None of this would have happened, had it not been for us.”  
“And why do you put so much blame on yourselves?” Snape asked, curious. “Greyback is also to blame here, and probably the one to blame.”  
“I know, but it- we’ve been- Draco I can’t,” Narcissa said looking pleadingly at her son who was sitting next to her, looking very shaky and pale as he sat, watching his mother struggle.  
“It’s alright, Mother,” Draco said, trying to sound reassuring. Of course, he knew she wouldn’t be able to tell the truth, especially with so many witnesses and after causing so much trouble, but someone had to tell them what was happening and it seemed that responsibility was down to Draco.  
“My mother is being too kind to me-”  
“But Draco-”  
“Mother, let me tell them,” Draco intervened gently. Narcissa held herself back and continued to sob quietly in her chair as she watched her son with wide-eyes.  
“Although my mother and father helped Greyback tonight, they are not to blame for the lead up to this moment. That alone rests with me,” Draco said, wanting Potter, Snape and the rest of them to understand that if they are to be mad with anyone, it should be him.  
“After the Dark Lord was defeated,” Draco looked at Harry momentarily. “Greyback was still keeping in frequent contact with my father. They became friends and Greyback, although harsh at times, was generally nice to me. Then when I met Astoria and we married, I moved out of the house, still with the understanding that Greyback and Father were good friends. Father and I kept in contact frequently and I always enquired about Greyback because it seemed he had changed for the better, like everyone else had and I hoped that that would remain so. Unfortunately, when my wife and I gave birth to Scorpius, things changed and I regret it greatly that I didn’t tell my father at the time-”  
“What didn’t you tell me Draco?” Lucius asked, with a slithering edge in his voice.  
“Greyback contacted me soon after Scorpius was born and I was expecting some form of congratulations, but he um…” Draco didn’t know where to go from here. Of course the easy way would be to just spill the beans, but it wasn’t easy; life had never been the same since that day.  
“Greyback proposed that I help him to be a more powerful wizard. He- um- he wanted me to teach him things he didn’t already know so that he could improve. He asserted it was purely for his own desire and had no intention of using it to create havoc later down the track. I didn’t believe him and rejected his request, saying that I didn’t have the time with such a young child. But he continued to insist on it, eventually threatening to bite Scorpius during a full moon. He said he would go to any length to ensure my son was bitten if I didn’t help him. I- I knew what I had to do and yet I also knew that I would be helping Greyback become better and more powerful. I knew one day I would regret it and that moment is now.”  
“You never told me this, Draco,” Lucius said harshly. “I continued to befriend Greyback during that time, never knowing what kind of a man he was. I had no idea he threatened you and had I done, I would have severed any contact him from that moment onwards! But instead you chose to risk your family, your mother and father because you didn’t tell us what you-”  
“He made me swear not to tell you, Father!” Draco tried to defend himself.  
“Did you make an Unbreakable Vow?” Lucius asked harshly.  
“No, but-”  
“Then you should have told us! There is no excuse! Greyback wouldn’t have known, but instead you help him increase his powers, teaching him Occlumency, Legilimency and I suppose it was you that told him how to release the Dementors?!” Lucius was beside himself, completely ashamed of his son; this is not how he raised Draco.  
“Yes, it was me, Father, but he would have hurt- killed my son, my family- I didn’t want that, I had to do what he said and just hoped to god that no one would get hurt-”  
“Well, that’s all very well, Draco, but myself, your mother, Potter and his son have been put in serious danger because of your foolishness and for all we know, if the man succeeds, the world may be in peril!”  
“What did you expect me to do, Father? Allow my baby son to be bitten or possibly killed- have him be a werewolf for the rest of his life? You can’t tell me you would have preferred to have an inflicted grandson to this!” Draco yelled, with tears in his eyes.  
“At least then I wouldn’t have had a son who is a disgrace to this family!” Lucius shouted. Tears were still dwelling in Draco’s eyes.  
“Well what would you have done?” Draco snapped back, still emotional.  
Lucius paused at this; he honestly didn’t know what he would do in such a situation. He would like to hope that he would outright refuse Greyback and protect his child with his life, but then again…  
“I would have done everything in my power to keep this world safe and peaceful like it has been for so many years. I would have denied Greyback and protected you as my son from getting bitten, no matter what it took, though I don’t see why I would do that now-”  
“Lucius, stop it! There is no need to be so harsh to Draco; I would have done the same!” Narcissa asserted proudly. Unlike her husband, she was proud of her son- proud that he too would do anything for his family, even if that meant risking the rest of the world.  
“Hear that? You’re just like your mother! Allowing love to come before anything else! Where is your sense?” Lucius asked them both, looking aggressively between the two of them.  
“You can’t talk Lucius, look what you did tonight; you and I both made an Unbreakable Vow so that we could guarantee the protection of our family. Are you telling me that that wasn’t love?”  
Lucius was speechless.  
“What was it Lucius? Where was your sense?” Narcissa was beside herself; she knew that both she and Draco realised that in making those choices, they were taking a risk, but how was Draco to know what would happen?  
“Mother, calm down,” Draco said reassuringly, patting his mother’s shoulder.  
“No, Draco! Your father has to understand-”  
“He’s different from us, it’s-”  
“He’s not different! That’s the problem! He is exactly like us, but refuses to admit it!” Narcissa asserted, pointing dramatically at her husband.  
“And that’s all the difference, Narcissa! I would hate to think that I would help someone like Greyback rise to power just to protect my family. You could have put up protective spells, kept Scorpius hidden at all times-”  
“And stay inside all day, all night? You know he would have found a way, Father. That man is evil and has always desired revenge and payback. At least if I helped him, I could guarantee Scorpius’ safety.”  
“Until tonight, when the boy nearly suffered what he could have eleven years ago. You nearly lost him again because of that man. It would never have come to that if you used your head instead of your heart-”  
“Who are you to say what would have happened had I not helped Greyback? For all we know, we could all be dead, so don’t you dare tell me what I should and should not have done. What I did, I did many years ago. We have to move on and think of a new plan. These people,” Draco said, indicating his former class mates and professor, “Want to know what has been happening, but all we’ve been doing is sitting here arguing about the choices that I can no longer change! I am sorry for disappointing you, Father-”  
“Don’t apologise to him!” Harry exclaimed as rage filled him up. Although he never thought he would be on Draco’s side, now was definitely one of those times.  
“You protected your family and I know that I would have done exactly what you did, without a doubt.” Harry looked at his fellows and saw Ron, Hermione and Ginny nodding in agreement, Snape remained impassive.  
“There is no way you could have known what would come of this. I respect you greatly for the choice you made and now we must focus all of our energy to try to solve this puzzle. We need more information,” Harry ended calmly, hoping that now the arguing would stop.  
“What exactly does Greyback know?” Harry asked, thinking that that would be a good place to start.  
“Or perhaps a better question would be, what did Greyback wish to know?” Hermione intervened and Harry had to agree that her approach was probably going to be more productive.  
“He wanted to know anything that could help him,” Draco answered, resigned; it would take him a long time to tell them everything Greyback knew.  
“Like what?” Ron asked  
“I taught him Occlumency, Legilimency and every curse I know,” Draco began. “He asked if I knew anything about the Deathly Hallows to which I answered ‘no’ because I had no idea where they were or if they still existed. Greyback asked me about you, Potter and what you were like in school. I told him that you always seemed to be in the middle of everything, always where the action was and Greyback thought that this was very interesting. He asked me that, if the Deathly Hallows are real, would I bet that Potter would know something about them, to which I replied ‘yes’-”  
“How thick can you possibly be, Malfoy? No wonder why Greyback’s coming after Harry!” Ron yelled, his usual hatred of Draco returning at full speed.  
“He would have figured it out anyway, Ron; it wouldn’t take a genius to work out that Harry had the Elder Wand during the battle against Voldemort. How else could he win? Perhaps Greyback just wanted some reassurance that Harry would be the best person to interrogate,” Ginny explained harshly to her brother.  
“Then he wanted to know how I would recommend catching Potter off guard-” Draco continued cautiously.  
“And what did you say to that?” Harry asked, a little harshly but at the same time very curious to see how much Draco knew about him.  
“I told Greyback to attack at a place you would least expect, such a Hogwarts,” Draco mumbled quietly.  
An eerie silence followed.  
“So I suppose then, Greyback took your advice and used the Dementors to distract me which led to me being unable to produce a Patronus?” Harry asked Draco, a little disturbed by this news.  
“Yes. I told him how to release the Dementors, though since they have been put into another enclosure, only specific people know the incantations now,” Draco explained.  
“I should think so,” Hermione asserted a little defiantly.  
“But what I don’t understand is why Greyback wanted to release the Dementors,” Severus said, looking at Draco. “There was no purpose in it.”  
Draco nodded. “I know, but last year he wanted to test the waters. Greyback was interested to see how the ministry would react to there being Dementors on the loose near Hogwarts. Also he wanted to explore the area surrounding Hogwarts and the security surrounding the place. No doubt he was preparing for the night he attack you and your son, Potter,” Draco said looking at Harry, clearly sorry for what he had done.  
“Well that makes sense,” Harry said.  
“And then he realised that he needed to coax one of your son’s out of the castle,” Draco continued, looking at Harry and Ginny. “So he wrote a letter, trying to mimic something that you would write, Potter. He then sent it by owl and then waited just outside the protections of Hogwarts for your son to arrive. Greyback used a Patronus charm, though not a corporeal one, to tempt your son towards him. With Greyback were the Dementors, as you know and a potion that he believed to be Veritaserum. He intended on injuring Albus enough to make him incapable of moving so that he could get to you, use the Dementors to make you pass out and then feed you the Veritaserum. However, your son must have put up a good fight; Greyback gave up trying to injure him because he also needed to keep an eye on you too. So, your son wasn’t injured, the potion was not Veritaserum; my father tricked him and then Snape turned up and completely abolished his whole plan. I think you know most of this already…” Draco concluded, thinking he had talked long enough.  
“So do you know what he plans on doing next?”  
Draco shook his head, Harry was crestfallen. “Ever since Greyback found out that Father lied to him about the colour of Veritaserum, he no longer trusts me. But he did want me to do one more thing, perhaps it will be of some use to you-”  
“What was it?” Ron asked, dying to know Draco’s final mission for Greyback.  
“As a school governor, Greyback knew I have access to Hogwarts. It was the full moon that night and Greyback and I made an Unbreakable Vow that if I retrieved a certain book for him from the library, then he swore to leave my house, otherwise he would bind himself to my manor for the night.  
“What book was it?” Hermione asked, extremely interested.  
“Moste Potente Potions,” Draco answered, thinking that there was no way Harry and his friends would know about the book as there were thousands in the library. But of course, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Severus knew exactly which book it was. Unfortunately, it had thousands of potions in it, all as dangerous and as complicated as the next. It would seem that Greyback was trying to make one of them to use against Harry. Snape was the only one present who knew the effects of every potion in that book, not even Hermione had read about them all. Severus knew that almost all of them would be extremely useful for Greyback if he were to obtain information from Harry.  
“Did Greyback ask you to help him make it?” Harry asked Draco.  
“No, as I said, he no longer trusts me and ever since getting him the book on Thursday, I haven’t seen him until today.”  
“So what happened today? Exactly how many Unbreakable Vows were made?” Ginny asked looking worried for the wellbeing of those in front of her.  
“Even though Greyback still visits us from time to time, we know he doesn’t trust us anymore because Lucius lied to him,” Narcissa explained. “So when he arrived at our doorstep, obviously we refused to let him in. But he then told us that tonight is the full moon and he was writing a letter to Scorpius to meet Draco outside the castle. He promised us that he would be there to bite Scorpius if we didn’t cooperate. A very similar plan to the one he used on your son, I’m sure,” Narcissa added looking sincerely at Harry and Ginny.  
“From that point on, Greyback always had that threat on us- the possibility that Scorpius would be bitten if we didn’t obey. So he asked me to write a letter to Draco, requesting that he notify Scorpius that he was going to pick the boy up from Hogwarts after lunch, asserting that Severus wanted to discuss his marks with Draco at the Malfoy Manor. When Draco arrived with Scorpius, Greyback immediately took the boy hostage and made Lucius and me, as the owners of the house, make Unbreakable Vows promising that if we do whatever he asks of us, Scorpius would not be injured or killed-“  
“That means that I shouldn’t have made the Unbreakable Vow with Greyback!” Severus exclaimed, outraged. “Whether or not I disobeyed Greyback, he wouldn’t have been able to hurt Scorpius without dying himself! I didn’t have to send the letter to Potter- none of this should have happened!” Snape was livid.  
“That would all be very well, Severus, if Greyback hadn’t ordered us to not say anything that would jeopardize the possibility of his success. I am sure that telling him what you propose would have broken that vow,” Lucius explained miserably; he didn’t like it that Severus was so furious with him and Narcissa.   
“So, you knew Scorpius would be safe and didn’t tell me? Like Snape, I also made an Unbreakable Vow to protect my son when you already knew he was protected-” said Draco, angry and frustrated that more lives were at risk than necessary.  
“Yes, Draco, but as we have just explained, we couldn’t tell you as such, could we? Greyback wanted you out of the way for when Harry arrived, so he used the Unbreakable Vow to ensure you wouldn’t return- he had no interest in hurting Scorpius from the moment your father and I made the vow, he couldn’t change his mind.”  
Draco was speechless.  
Harry was shocked: “As much as I regret saying it, Greyback had this planned out very well.”  
Narcissa nodded, relieved that Harry and the others seemed to understand the predicament they were in early that night. Although they weren’t about to defend what they did, she and Lucius were grateful that their actions were understood nonetheless.  
“As you can see, Greyback had us where he planned. He then asked me to write a letter to Severus asking him to join us for dinner at the manor to discuss Scorpius’ marks. Greyback knew that if Snape came, he was sure to contact Potter and then his plan would be working perfectly. It would seem that Greyback failed because he didn’t expect you,” she said looking at Harry, “Would bring a few more people to help you,” Narcissa said looking approvingly at Ginny, Ron and Hermione.  
“Well actually, I only invited Ron. He was the one who thought that perhaps more back up would be necessary as we were hoping to capture Greyback,” Harry explained.  
“What exactly has Greyback been trying to do?” Narcissa asked with curiosity. Although she knew that Lucius and Severus had spoken briefly about what Greyback’s goals are, she had never discussed the matter extensively with Lucius.  
“We are almost one hundred percent certain that Greyback is hoping to find and combine the three Deathly Hallows,” explained Harry, watching how Narcissa’s face changed from interest to concern.  
“The Deathly Hallows?” Narcissa repeated. “But they were destroyed, weren’t they? You destroyed them,” Narcissa asserted confidently looking at Harry.  
“I told people that I destroyed them, but the truth is I didn’t. They are still in existence which is why Greyback is hoping to interrogate me without anyone’s interference.”  
“So you know where they are?” Narcissa asked, looking between Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Snape, all of whom nodded except Severus.  
“That is why we have been asking you so many questions. We want to know everything Greyback is up to so we can try and avoid his interventions like we have previously. Is there anything else that you think might be of importance to us? Any plans? Any idea why he would want that book?” When Harry asked the latter question he looked to Draco for answers.  
“No, it was only recently that Father told me Greyback was going after the Deathly Hallows. I always wondered why he was so determined to succeed in what I was teaching him and now I know why. I would assume that the book I retrieved for him has the recipe for a potion that would help him obtain the information he wants. But as to which potion, I have no clue.”  
“Do you know if finding the Deathly Hallows was what he always wanted to do? Did you have any indication that his objective changed at any stage?” Harry enquired.  
“No, I never noticed any changes in him, but right from the start, he wanted to have the ability to detect liars and that has never changed. However, Father and Snape have managed to lie to him without his detecting it, so perhaps he only wants to be able to detect if Potter is lying about the location of the Deathly Hallows.”  
“Whereabouts are the Deathly Hallows?” Severus asked Harry.  
Harry paused. He was surprised no one had asked him this previously. Obviously he was not about to tell them exactly where they are because that would mean the Aurors would need to protect more people than he already indicated to them. But at the same time, Harry felt it was important they, especially Severus, knew that two of the Hallows were at Hogwarts. But if Greyback were to find this out, his children and all the students at he school would be in great danger. Of course, Minerva’s protective charms carried over to where the two Hallows reside, but he knew that that alone wasn’t enough.   
Harry trusted everyone present and knew that none of them would give up the information willingly and, seeing as Greyback already believed the Malfoys and Snape knew nothing, surely he wouldn’t ask again? All eyes were watching Harry think the possibilities over. Ron looked as if he would punch Harry in the face if he uttered a word about the location of the Deathly Hallows, whereas Hermione and Ginny seemed purely interested to see what Harry’s response would be.  
Finally, Harry gave his answer:  
“Two of the Deathly Hallows are at-”  
“What? You’re actually going to tell them?” Ron asked furiously, looking at Harry aggressively. Harry was expecting this.  
Harry turned to his best friend and replied: “I’m not telling them exactly where they are; that would be foolish-”  
“This is foolish!” Ron exclaimed. “What if they let something slip to Greyback?”  
“They won’t, Ron. Greyback believes they know nothing about the Deathly Hallows. It is important they know. Don’t worry, I have a plan,” Harry said calmly, looking at his friend, hoping that he would trust him. Ron’s ears were red as he continued to glare at Harry. Finally, he leaned back into his chair with his arms crossed.  
“As I was saying, two of the Deathly Hallows are at Hogwarts- I’m not telling you where,” Harry continued quickly as he saw the expression on Severus’ and the Malfoys’ faces, “because that’s too risky. But they are there and my plan is to ask Minerva to put extra protective spells over them so that Greyback will have a decreased chance of finding them- perhaps I’ll add my own charms too,” Harry added as an after thought.  
“So, if Greyback ever finds out where they are, our children could be in big trouble?” Draco asked, looking pale.  
Harry nodded. “This is why it is very, very important that Greyback never finds out where the Deathly Hallows are hidden- not only because of the damage he could do to the world in general, but because he will likely use our children as bait and we can’t have that.”  
“So where is the other one?” Lucius asked, completely enthralled by the information he was discovering. He had no intention of looking for the Hallows himself, but he did wonder why the third wasn’t with the other two.  
“The third is and has always been heavily protected because it is mine and is hidden at our house,” Harry said cautiously as he looked at Ginny, hoping she wasn’t mad at him for answering such a question.  
“You actually own one of the Deathly Hallows?” Narcissa asked with keen interest. “Which one do you own?”  
Harry nodded. “My father was a direct descendent from one of the Peverell Brothers. My father inherited the Cloak of Invisibility-”  
“You mean the cloak you three used to use at school is one of the three Deathly Hallows?” Snape asked, looking wide-eyed at Harry, Ron and Hermione in turn.  
“Yes,” Harry replied, smiling slightly by the reaction he was receiving. Also, the look on Draco’s face made it clear that had he known that, he would have tried to steal his cloak instead of trying to get him in trouble all those years ago.  
“How long have you known this for?” Snape asked.  
“Not long after I turned seventeen and heard the tale for myself. After making a few deductions, I realised that Dumbledore took such an interest in my father’s cloak because he knew it was one of the Deathly Hallows.”  
“Do you know who the other ones belonged to?” Draco asked, so interested he was on the edge of his seat. His parents told him of the tale when he was young, but never did he imagine them to be real, and not only real but accessible even when he was at school.   
After hearing Draco’s question, Harry knew it would be foolish to utter that Dumbledore owned the Elder Wand because the wand still resided in Dumbledore’s tomb and would be too great of a hint if Greyback ever found out. So Harry decided to give a brief answer.  
“We know who owned them,” Harry said indicating to Ron, Hermione and Ginny. “But I don’t think it would be wise to tell you who-”  
“Because it would be useful to Greyback?” Narcissa deduced.  
Harry nodded.  
“But, it would be so interesting to know. Do we know these wizards?” Draco pressed on, dying to know who owned them; he no longer cared where they were.  
Harry looked at his friends and saw that Ron was still pissed off at him for telling them where the Deathly Hallows were in the first place. Hermione seemed to be lost in thought, but Ginny was smiling at Harry, indicating that she felt it was okay to share what they knew.  
Harry finally spoke, much to the excitement of the Malfoys and Severus.  
“Only because I know Greyback is currently running around some forest as a werewolf, I will tell you, but do not, I repeat do not utter this to ANYONE. Anything we have discussed tonight cannot leave this room unless otherwise specified and this is something I forbid you to utter to anyone,” Harry said firmly, hopefully convincing Ron that he was being cautious about the whole situation.  
The Malfoys and Snape nodded their understanding; none of them had any intention of telling anyone what they were about to hear.  
“The Elder Wand was owned by Dumbledore,” Harry began, smiling when the jaws of both Snape and the Malfoys dropped dramatically. “If you think about it, it isn’t that surprising; Dumbledore was known as the most powerful and intelligent wizard alive, even when Voldemort was at the height of his powers. Of course, this doesn’t mean he was useless without the Elder Wand, but he was pretty much unbeatable with it. That is until you,” Harry said looking at Draco, “disarmed him on the Astronomy Tower-”  
Draco turned pale. “So, for a while, I was the master of the Elder Wand?” Draco asked completely flabbergasted.   
Harry nodded.  
“Wow,” Draco whispered.  
“But luckily for me and unluckily for Voldemort, you and I fought at this very manor the following year and I took your wand off you, thereby making me the master of the Wand which is how I defeated Voldemort at Hogwarts that year,” Harry explained, almost laughing at the expression on the faces of the people in front of him- even Ron, Hermione and Ginny were greatly amused.  
“Although I won’t go into details, Dumbledore obtained the Elder Wand after he defeated Grindelwald and was the master of it until he died.”  
“So, who owned the stone?” Narcissa asked, wondering who else they knew could possibly own a Deathly Hallow.  
“Probably the Dark Lord,” Draco said as a joke, smiling as he suggested it.  
Harry smiled back and didn’t answer.  
Draco’s jaw dropped yet again.  
Ginny and Hermione laughed and even Ron found it hard not to smile.  
“Seriously? But how?”  
“I found out that Voldemort, like my father, was also a direct descendent of another one of the Peverell brothers, the one that owned the Resurrection Stone. His Grandfather, Marvolo owned a ring that had been passed down from generation to generation. That ring had the Resurrection Stone in it, but as far as I can gather, Voldemort never knew what it was, so never used it. That ring,” Harry said, looking at Snape, “was the one that caused so much damage to Dumbledore’s hand. Voldemort turned the ring into a Horcrux.”  
There was silence. Finally Snape said:  
“I’ve just realised-”  
“Realised what?” Narcissa asked.  
“Dumbledore- Dumbledore could have joined them…”  
There was more silence.  
“I know,” Harry said breaking the silence. “Dumbledore told me himself when Voldemort failed to kill me in the forest,” Harry explained looking at Narcissa for it was thanks to her that he was still alive. “He had the ring in his office, the wand was in his possession and all he had to do was go up to my dormitory and take my Invisibility Cloak. Right then and there, he could have become the Master of Death.”  
“So why didn’t he?” Draco asked, completely bewildered that Dumbledore didn’t take the chance.  
“Because he knew that his greatest weakness was power. Even without the Elder Wand he was a very powerful wizard. He learnt through his battle with Grindelwald and of course from Voldemort, that power isn’t everything. He knew he couldn’t be trusted with such power.”  
“But hang on!” Draco suddenly exclaimed. “If you know where all the objects are…you could join them if you wanted!” Draco looked avidly between Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. The latter three smiled. Hermione replied:  
“Harry says that we know where all the objects are, but I don’t even know how to get past the protective spells around the cloak and I don’t know EXACTLY where one of the others are either and neither does Ron or Ginny. So technically, Harry is the only one of us who could potentially join the Deathly Hallows.”  
“Why didn’t you?” Snape asked, not because he thought it would be a good idea, but genuinely wondering what Harry’s logical explanation would be.  
“I didn’t want power or immortality and I still don’t. One would have so much power that they wouldn’t know what to do with it. I don’t want to be responsible for the demise of this world. I thought that if I kept the objects hidden, no one would find them and the world would be safe from the most powerful wand of all time and the Master of Death. I had no desire for power or to live forever, so I didn’t join them,” Harry said simply.  
Silence.   
Snape and the Malfoys could hardly believe the man in front of them wasn’t even slightly tempted by such power.  
“Are you even human?” Lucius asked Harry, intending it to be a joke, but said it in a serious manner.  
Harry laughed. “Yes I am, but I guess as Dumbledore would put it: I care for my friends and family more than I care for power and my own life. I was thinking of them, not of me.”  
That statement alone made the whole room think for a moment- contemplating Harry’s words silently and thoughtfully. Harry could tell, just by watching the facial expressions of the men and women around him, that they had taken in his words- his point of view.

Harry decided to break the silence after a couple of minutes as there were still more things to discuss.  
“What are we going to do about our children?” Harry said into the silence.  
“What do you mean Harry?” replied Ginny.  
“Our children could be in great danger if Greyback ever manages to get into the grounds of Hogwarts,” Harry said simply to the group in general.  
“Of course, but there is not much we can do about it except ensure they are responsible and that the placing of protective spells around the castle are designated to one person,” Snape reasoned with Harry.  
“Do you think we should tell the children what is happening?” Hermione asked, trying to work out where Harry was going with the conversation.  
“Maybe… what do you guys think?” Harry asked.  
“Remember that your children,” Snape said looking at Ron, Hermione, Harry and Ginny, “already know that Greyback is after the Deathly Hallows.”  
“I know, but should we tell them that the other two are located at Hogwarts to ensure that under no circumstance do they do something foolish?”  
“No,” Ron asserted simply.  
“Why not?” Harry asked his friend, wanting to know the man’s reasoning behind his answer.  
“They would know too much. Of course none of our children would willingly tell Greyback anything about the Deathly Hallows. But they are too vulnerable and telling them the other two Hallows are at Hogwarts would be unnecessary,” Ron stated matter-of-factly.  
“I agree with Ron,” Hermione piped up. “There is no need to tell them,” she continued firmly.  
“Okay,” Harry said, now looking at the Mafloys. “How much does Scorpius know about all of this?”  
“Nothing, except that I have been teaching Greyback; he has no idea what Greyback’s plans are,” Draco answered.  
“Do you think it would be beneficial to tell him what Greyback is looking for or do you think there is a chance he may use the information carelessly?” Harry asked, looking at Draco closely. He didn’t want the man to tell his son something so important if he didn’t believe Scropius could keep such an important secret.  
“I trust my son,” Draco said simply, staring right back at Harry.  
“So, I suppose you will tell him whenever you can- face to face, of course- about Greyback’s plans?”  
“Yes, when I get the chance I’ll tell him, though it probably won’t be until the summer holidays; I don’t think I will be able to take him out of school again as I am sure Minerva will be extremely suspicious,” said Draco.  
“Perhaps I can tell Mr Malfoy about the situation,” Snape suggested.  
“If you wish Snape,” Draco replied, giving the man every permission.  
“Well, if Snape can tell Scorpius soon, then perhaps our children can all stick together and keep an eye out for one another,” Ginny suggested, a little amused that Al, James and Rose may soon be befriending Scorpius Malfoy.  
“Gryffindors be friends with a Slytherin?” Ron said, looking a little disgusted at the idea.  
“Ron, times have changed now; this is more than school rivalry. The students in Hogwarts must stick together regardless of their houses,” Hermione said harshly to her husband. “This rivalry between the houses has been going on long enough. Voldemort was defeated long ago, it’s time for such prejudices to diminish,” she continued strongly.  
“I agree one hundred percent, Hermione,” Harry asserted in a supportive tone. “I am sure that when James, Rose and Albus understand that Scorpius is also at risk, they will try to help him too. We didn’t raise our children to be selfish and uncaring,” Harry said looking specifically at Ron who couldn’t help but agree. As much as he hated the idea of Rose being friends with Scorpius, he wouldn’t expect anything less from her.  
“In that case, why doesn’t Snape talk to all of our children at once, instead of us communicating with them via owl; you never know, they may learn to distrust letters from now on,” Harry pointed out.  
“Is that okay with you?” Ginny asked, looking at Severus, who nodded. Now that James no longer despised him, he felt comfortable talking to them about something as important as this.  
“Okay, well that’s one important thing out of the way. Now the last thing I wanted to discuss is the protections around the Deathly Hallows. I was thinking that if Minerva put up the protections around the castle, then perhaps she could also put some extra ones around the Deathly Hallows,” Harry suggested, but Lucius was shaking his head.  
“I do not think that would be advisable. If Minerva was somehow interrogated, Greyback would have access to the school AND the Deathly Hallows. I think that someone else should put up the protections around the artifacts.”  
“Well, I suppose Severus could do it,” Harry said, looking at Snape to see his reaction. The man seemed willing to do such a thing and Harry thought that if Snape were to consent, they should probably go to Hogwarts as soon as possible to put up the protections before Greyback had any chance of reaching the artifacts before they did.  
“That is fine with me,” Snape answered.  
“Well, perhaps I will come back to Hogwarts with you and we can put up the protections before we rest for the night.”  
“But it’s already midnight,” Ginny pointed out.  
“I know, but this is important, Ginny; it won’t take long,” Harry asserted.  
“There is no problem if Potter wishes to do it tonight, but I think that before we actively put ourselves where the Deathly Hallows are, we should speak to Albus first- Dumbledore, not Potter,” Snape added hastily.  
“Hmm, that’s an interesting idea. I wonder what Dumbledore would say to this,” Ginny said, thinking out loud. “Have you spoken to Dumbledore recently?” she asked Snape.  
“No, but I know Minerva talks to him frequently,” Snape replied.  
Suddenly, Harry had a thought. “Do you know if you can interrogate the truth out a portrait?” Harry asked, looking at Snape and Hermione, thinking that one of them would surely know the answer.  
“I don’t think you can, Harry. Unlike a human being, portraits aren’t affected by curses, hexes and they cannot consume potions. Dumbledore was the best Legilimens and Occlumens of all time, so even if such skills worked on portraits, I don’t see any possible way that Greyback could obtain the truth from Dumbledore. Of course, the task of actually getting into the school would be almost impossible for Greyback, but hypothetically, I don’t see any possible way that Dumbledore could be forced to reveal the enchantments or locations of the Deathly Hallows,” Hermione answered rather quickly as if she was speaking as fast as her mind was thinking.  
“I believe that Mrs Weasley is right,” Snape asserted. “I don’t see a problem with consulting Dumbledore which is why I suggested it.”  
“Well, the idea sounds good to me; I would love to speak to Dumbledore’s portrait after so many years. Shall we go then?” Harry asked turning to Snape.  
Snape agreed. Standing up, Harry walked over to Ginny and whispered:  
“I won’t be long, don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine.”  
“I know you will,” Ginny whispered back with a smile on her face. Truthfully, she was worried about her husband going back to Hogwarts, especially considering the last time they were there, but was reassured that at least Severus would be with him.  
“We’ll keep you posted on what’s been happening and I ask that you do the same,” Harry said looking specifically at the Malfoys. “Anything you may hear or see with regard to Greyback’s plans is something we want to hear about.”  
Narcissa and Lucius nodded their understanding but Draco was looking a little nervous, wringing his hands and looking away from Harry. Harry recognised the signs well and knew Draco was hiding something.  
As Harry was just about to ask Draco what he wanted to say, Draco said quickly and quietly:  
“Potter, can I speak to you for a moment?”  
Harry paused. He was not expecting this.  
“Sure,” he replied and then said to Snape. “I’ll meet you at the front door, Severus,” he said as he followed Draco into the living area, away from the dining room. Harry turned around and saw Ron’s concerned and suspicious face as he stared after Draco- it was clear to Harry that Ron will probably never trust Draco after everything he did to them at school.  
“What?” Harry said quietly to a more comfortable Draco now that they had left their audience.  
“There was something I told Greyback about you, but I didn’t want to say it in front of my father,” Draco mumbled, clearly embarrassed.  
“What did you tell him?” Harry asked eagerly.  
“I told him that you have a ‘saving people thing’,” Draco replied, almost as if he was disgusted at himself for even saying such a thing. “That’s the actual reason why he went after your son, he wanted to use him to get to you.”  
“So he’s going to keep using people to get to me, is he?” Harry wondered aloud.  
Draco nodded. “I think so.”  
“Well, that just means I have to make sure the children are on their guard one hundred percent of the time,” Harry said, trying to reassure himself that although Voldemort succeeded in using the people Harry loved to achieve his goals, Greyback was an entirely different wizard altogether.  
“I’m sorry,” Draco muttered.  
Harry smiled slightly. “Personally I am surprised you even noticed that about me.”  
“Well, you always seemed to be rescuing people and helping others- people you didn’t even know. So with your family… I figured you would be particularly protective of them,” Draco explained.  
“Well, you’re right of course,” Harry replied, still smiling; never in a million years did he think he would ever have such a conversation with Draco Malfoy.  
“I apologise for putting your son and Severus in danger; I know Greyback only used them because of my suggestion,” Draco said, lifting up his head to look at Harry.   
“Does Greyback knows I care about Severus?” Harry asked Draco, wondering how the man could possibly know something that few others did.  
“I suppose so… you really do care about him don’t you?” Draco asked, still looking at Harry. Harry was taken aback by Draco’s direct question that all he could do for a few seconds was stare right back at Draco.  
Finally he replied: “Yeah, I do.”  
Draco laughed.  
“What?” Harry asked a little aggressively. What was so funny?  
“Whoever would have thought that Harry Potter would ever befriend the Potions master who always sneered at him and put him on detention and generally made his life a living hell?” Draco asked, still smiling.  
Harry couldn’t help it, he smiled too. “I keep asking myself that question everyday.”  
“You call him Severus now.”  
“I know, but it’s not that weird for me. He’s my friend,” Harry said a little defensively.  
“I can tell. But after everything he said and did to you, I never thought you would be capable of befriending him,” Draco asserted, truly amazed by how much Harry was able to put the past behind him.  
“I never thought I would be able to either, but- you know what he has done don’t you?” asked Harry, wondering if Draco did indeed know about the risks and sacrifices Snape made to ensure his safety all those years ago.  
“Snape told my family soon after you killed the Dark Lord. I was there when he confessed to my father his love for your mother and the fact that he had been working for the Order of the Phoenix ever since she died. That is all there is to know about Snape, isn’t it?” Draco added, wandering how much more Severus could have been hiding from Lucius that day.  
“That is all, but since he has returned to the wizarding world, he seems to be a completely different person and if you aren’t too disturbed by me saying so, he seems to be more like the man my mother befriended: more kind and… caring…” Harry trailed off.  
“Interesting…”  
“Do you think it was stupid of me to forgive him just because he loved my mother and spent most of my schooling protecting me?” Harry asked, intending for the statement to be a joke.  
“Well, it is you that we are talking about Potter, so no, I don’t think it was foolish, but I must say that I didn’t think you would be capable of such forgiveness,” Draco continued, truly amazed by how different Potter was from Weasley, who seems to hold every grudge for as long as he lives.  
“And I didn’t think you were capable of loving anyone but yourself,” Harry said right back at Draco.  
Draco snorted. “I didn’t love myself. I was simply offended that you ditched me for another pureblood family who Father always said was completely below us. I was hurt and continued to portray myself as wealthy and popular just so you would feel regret. Of course, I now realise that had you befriended me, I doubt the Dark Lord would have been defeated and then we would all be living a worse life than we are now. But I didn’t love myself,” Draco reinforced seriously; he wanted to make it clear to Harry that he wasn’t full of it, just hurt.  
“But you love Scorpius though,” Harry pointed out.  
“Yes, he’s a good kid and I am thankful that Astoria and I have been able to raise him differently to the way my parents raised me. I used to think that the Malfoy family was the best there was, that all wizards should give us respect. But now I realise you have to earn it and Scorpius knows that,” Draco asserted.  
Harry was impressed.  
Then he realised how much Draco’s statement reminded him of what Dumbledore used to say: “It matters not what we are born, but who we grow to be,” Harry said quietly, looking at Draco. “That’s what Dumbledore used to say.”  
Draco smiled. “And he’s right, of course.”  
Harry smiled just thinking about Dumbledore and the many fond memories he had of him.  
“How did you react when Snape told you he loved your mother?” Draco asked out of curiosity.  
“Honestly? I was shocked, but happy. It explained a lot: why he hated me, why he changed sides- I assumed he wouldn’t tell me that he loved my mother unless it were true- he forced me to believe him and I haven’t regretted it since. My children have taken a liking to him and I hope that, given time, he will become a part of the family,” Harry said confidently.  
“And do you think Snape would want that too?” Draco asked seriously.  
“I hope so,” Harry said thoughtfully. “Well, I had better be going to Hogwarts. Is there anything you want me to do? Check up on Scorpius maybe?” Harry offered.  
“No thank you; the poor child has had enough happening in his life for now. I don’t think he would appreciate it if Harry Potter walked into his dormitory at one in the morning- no offence,” Draco added.  
“None taken. Well please make sure you inform myself, Ron or Severus about anything you may hear about Greyback; we must keep an eye on that man and ensure that our children stay safe.”  
Draco nodded. “We’ll keep in touch at the ministry.”  
“Sure, well thank you for telling me what you told Greyback. Now I know to be even more wary, not so much for my own safety, but for my family’s. Thank you for your honesty,” Harry said, holding out his hand to Draco, who willingly shook his former nemesis’ hand.  
“I’m sure I’ll see you soon,” Harry said as he walked away from Draco towards Severus who was waiting for him as planned.  
“Thank you for your hospitality,” Severus called to Lucius and Narcissa when he saw Harry approaching.  
“Not a problem, Severus. You are welcome at any time,” Narcissa replied, looking very tired as she and her husband walked up to their bedroom.  
“Where’s Ginny, Hermione and Ron?” Harry asked him when he arrived at the front door.  
“They went to pick up Lily and Hugo and will then head home,” Snape informed Harry. “Your wife said before she left to be careful and to say ‘Hi’ to Dumbledore for her.”  
Harry smiled; he was really looking forward to talking to Dumbledore after so many years and wondered what he would think about Greyback, the Deathly Hallows but most importantly, his befriending of Severus Snape.  
“Let’s go,” Harry said excitedly as he and Severus walked towards the outskirts of the Malfoy’s property and Apparated to Hogwarts.


	22. ... the dead we love never truly leave us

“Do you think Minerva will still be awake?” Harry asked Snape once they arrived at Hogwarts and began to walk towards the castle.  
“I believe so,” Snape answered, looking around for any sign of movement.  
“Are you able to get through the front door without someone letting us in?”  
“Yes, but I think we should notify Minerva of your arrival, especially because we intend on entering her office to speak to Albus.”  
“Expecto Patronum,” Harry said, watching as his stag materialized in front of him. After sending his stag to Minerva informing her that they will meet her in her office in about five minutes, Snape and Harry were faced with the front door of the castle.  
Snape muttered a few selected words under his breath which unlocked the heavy double oak doors.  
The corridors were deserted as it was just after one in the morning. Quietly, Severus and Harry ascended the stairs towards the headmistress’ office, making sure they didn’t disturb any of the sleeping statues or portraits.  
Finally the two men made it to the griffin knocker and after knocking, Minerva called for them to come in.  
“Hello Severus, Potter,’ Minerva welcomed as the two wizards entered. “May I ask why the two of you are here so late at night?” Minerva enquired looking both severe and curious.  
“We were hoping to speak to Dumbledore,” Harry answered, looking around at the many portraits as he said it. Finally he clapped eyes on Dumbledore who was wide awake, his blue eyes twinkling.  
Harry ran towards the portrait of his former Headmaster.  
“Professor Dumbledore!” Harry exclaimed smiling. “I haven’t spoken to you for a long time,” Harry continued; simply happy that he was talking to the man he saw as his mentor and an amazing wizard.  
“It truly has been a long time hasn’t it Harry?” Dumbledore asserted. “I am pleased that you look well. I must also say that I have seen your son Albus wondering around the castle and he too looks very much like you,” Dumbledore stated, looking fondly at the man who saved the world from the worst of Dark Wizards.  
“Al knows that he was named after you, so if you ever see him from a frame in the corridors, introduce yourself, he will be honoured,” Harry said, still smiling.  
“I will. So, what brings you here at this time of night? Is it to do with Fenrir?” Dumbledore asked, suddenly looking concerned.  
“It is in fact, but of more concern are the Deathly Hallows-”  
“What? The Deathly Hallows still exist? But didn’t you say during your talk to the fifth years-” Minerva intervened.  
“Yes, I did say they were destroyed, but they are not and we are one hundred percent certain that Greyback is after them.”  
“So why exactly have you come to me? There is very little I can do; I am a portrait remember?” Dumbledore said in a joking manner.  
Harry smiled. “I know, but Severus and I-”  
Harry stopped speaking when he saw the huge smile that spread across Dumbledore’s face at these words.  
Harry couldn’t help but grin back, but still had no idea what was making Dumbledore so happy.  
“What?” Harry asked, greatly amused by the wizard’s expression.  
“Did my ears deceive me or did you just call Professor Snape ‘Severus’?” Dumbledore asked looking between Harry and Severus.  
“I called him Severus, yes,” Harry answered, now realizing that Dumbledore didn’t know how friendly Snape and he had been of recent.  
“I never thought I would live to see the day that Severus Snape and Harry Potter would become friends- not saying that I am alive of course, but alas, I am still here,” Dumbledore asserted, simply delighted that the two people before him, who used to loathe one another had now made peace.  
“Well believe it or not, Dumbledore, we are here together and we plan to put protections around the Deathly Hallows, but are unsure how to go about it. Do you have any ideas?” Harry asked, eagerly hoping that Albus would shed some light on the situation.  
“So, you want to make the Deathly Hallows unplottable, undetectable and protect them in as many ways possible?”  
“Basically, yes.”  
“Severus knows how to do all of those charms so I don’t see why you need to consult with me first. Get to it,” Dumbledore asserted rather brightly.  
“So there is no preparation needed? No special things we should be aware of?” Harry asked, double checking that he and Snape weren’t about to make some terrible mistake.  
“Nothing at all my dear man, as long as Severus does all of the incantations properly there should be no problem. The only trouble would be finding them,” Dumbledore concluded. Although he knew where Harry had placed the Elder Wand, he also recalled him saying that he dropped the Stone in the forest but couldn’t remember exactly where.  
“Oh, that’s no problem, it won’t take us long.” Harry said and then turned to Professor McGonagall. “Minerva, we thought we ought to tell you that not only do all three of the Deathly Hallows exist, but that two of them are on Hogwarts grounds and are currently protected by the spells you put around the castle. Tonight, Severus is going to place some more protective charms around the Hallows specifically, so that if Greyback somehow manages to get into Hogwarts, he still won’t be able to find the Deathly hallows. We just thought it would be appropriate to alert you to the fact that Greyback will have every reason to want to come here and hence, the students need to be warned to be careful and alert. Of course, it would be unwise to tell them about the Deathly Hallows, so instead, you could perhaps tell them that Greyback may try to break in, so they should be on the alert. Also, tomorrow, Severus is going to talk to Al, Rose, James and Scorpius about what has been happening of recent so that they are up to date; we have reason to believe that Greyback may use them as bait.” Harry said all of this rather quickly which had Minerva’s head spinning.  
“Goodness me,” she said faintly. “So basically, you want me to know that two of the three Deathly Hallows reside on the grounds of my school, and that Severus is going to add extra protection to them so that Greyback will have a lesser chance of finding them. Also you wish for me to alert the children heavily against doing stupid things in case Fenrir does find a way to enter the grounds. Your children, Miss Weasley and Mr Malfoy will be told about Fenrir’s plans and finally, you want me to ensure that only a few select people know the spells that are used to protect the castle so that Greyback will have a slimmer chance of finding out the information?” Minerva said, trying to clarify all of this information in a couple of sentences.  
“Yes, that’s right,” Harry said smiling.  
“My goodness, that’s a lot of information to take in,” Minerva said almost breathlessly.  
“I know Professor McGonagall, but we think it is really important that you know all of this.”  
Minerva nodded.  
“Well I guess we better get started or we’ll still be in the grounds when the sun rises. Let’s go, Severus,” Harry said turning towards the door to lead the way out.  
“Harry, Severus,” Dumbledore said to their retreating backs. “Be very careful out there. Don’t- do anything foolish,” Dumbledore said rather cryptically; they could tell Dumbledore was implying something that wasn’t wholly obvious.  
“We won’t Professor Dumbledore,” Harry said, still a little curious at exactly what Dumbledore had in mind.  
“Severus,” Dumbledore said. “I am impressed that you seem to have accepted Harry as someone other than James’ son and Sirius’ Godson.”  
Snape nodded his head slightly. “Thank you, Albus,” he mumbled quietly.  
“Also,” Dumbledore continued. “I am not sure when I will next see you, but I wish you all the best and I hope that you, as well as Minerva and the other members of staff will be able to overcome the threats Fenrir places at your door. You are more than capable of such leadership and skill- I have always known that and I hope I will see you both again soon,” Dumbledore said calmly as he looked between Severus and Harry.  
Snape nodded his understanding and knew that Dumbledore was subtly implying that he wanted Snape to help protect the school, which of course he was going to do anyway. But Dumbledore did seem to think that Hogwarts was in danger and that worried Snape as he bid farewell to Minerva and followed Potter down the spiral staircase.

 

*****

 

When Severus and Harry exited the castle, Harry led his companion over to where Dumbledore’s body was encased within the beautiful white tomb, where he knew the Elder Wand lay at rest. Severus did not attend the funeral for obvious reasons and so had no idea what to expect. Despite being back in the wizarding world for almost a year, he never thought to ask anyone where Dumbledore’s body was placed. Harry could see the tomb in the distance; it had a white glow surrounding it that made it easy to find. Snape could also see the tomb and was shocked that Dumbledore literally and truly had not left the school. Seeing that the tomb was still on Hogwart’s grounds, Snape felt much safer when Harry went to extract the Elder Wand then he would have otherwise.   
Harry was determined not to notice the body that was lying stock still and cold in the tomb; he did not wish to bring back those memories. To distract himself, he studied the Elder Wand, realising that in his hand, he had the wand that would make him invincible in battle. Of course, Harry had no intention of using the wand by any means, but it was still amazing to just think that he, Harry was the master of the Elder Wand. Severus had realised this too as he remembered what Harry told his children about the Elder Wand on Christmas Eve. Snape wasn’t about to encourage Harry to use it or even take it, but both men did take a moment to realise just how powerful the wand could be to Harry if he had any inclination of using it.  
Eventually, Harry turned to show Snape the wand more clearly. Snape studied it from a small distance, wandering what would be the best way to put protections around it.  
“Do you want to leave it in the tomb and put the protection around Dumbledore too? Or perhaps take it out of the tomb, like you already have and place it underground or within some other object?”  
Harry thought about this for a moment before replying: “I think we should leave it in the tomb- to honour Dumbledore. He used the wand for so many years and despite his desires, he never used it for evil, only good… and besides, it will always be Dumbledore’s wand,” Harry said firmly.  
Snape nodded.  
“Very well. Did you want to put the wand back into the tomb so I can begin the procedure?” Snape suggested, as Harry was still holding the wand.  
“Sure,” Harry replied as he placed the wand carefully into the dead man’s hands and closed the lid. “But what sort of spells are you doing? Do you think Greyback will be able to remove any of them?” Harry asked as an afterthought.  
“I will place several charms around the tomb to ensure that it is protected even more so than the school. I will place the same ones that the school embodies on the wand and will also add a few more. I would be extremely perplexed and surprised if Greyback manages to get the wand or the stone with these spells on them; there are simply too many and even with Draco’s help, they couldn’t eradicate all of them.”  
Harry was convinced, but of course, when one was responsible for something that could potentially destroy the world, one always had their doubts and questions.  
“Did you need my help?” Harry asked, just before Snape started.  
“With regard to the spells you put around Grimmauld Place, are they the same as those around Hogwarts?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well if you wish, you can place all of those spells on the wand whilst I do the other ones I have in mind,” Snape suggested. “It will save time.”  
“Okay,” Harry replied as the two men began to place several enchantments and charms around Dumbledore’s tomb.  
The procedure took ten minutes, but once they had finished, Snape said:  
“The Elder Wand is now invisible, unplottable, unable to be touched or magicked beyond the tomb, no magic is able to be used within five metres of it where not even the master of the wand can pick it up. The tomb is permanently stuck to this spot and cannot be levitated, vanished or transported away. Personally, I don’t think anyone can steal this wand now,” Severus said, not confidently, but rather wandering if that is all the spells he can possibly think of.  
“I agree, Severus. It seems perfectly safe now,” Harry asserted as he couldn’t think of any other way the wand could be taken either. “Now all we have to do is find the stone and do the same thing to it.”  
“Do you know exactly where it is?” Snape asked, wondering if they may be in the forest for half the night.  
“I know roughly where it is, but not exactly, no,” Harry replied, hoping it would not take them too long to find its exact location.  
Rather quickly, the two men walked away from the tomb and made their way towards the forbidden forest. Upon entering it, several memories entered Harry’s mind: the night he used the Stone to resurrect his parents, Sirius and Remus as well as when Voldemort used Avada Kedavra and he spent a few minutes conversing with Dumbledore, and of course, who could forget Aragog, and his trips with Hagrid? Despite the place being out of bounds to students, it was only now that Harry realised just how many times he had been in there and what dangers had come of it.  
Harry focused his mind on where he was when the dropped the Stone. It was just before he came across Lord Voldemort, because he dropped it just prior to facing the Dark Lord for the second last time. After searching for ten minutes, Harry found the arable area where he, Voldemort and his many Death Eaters congregated that night. Realising that he must be close to the Stone, Harry walked towards the left, envisaging himself walking from that direction towards what he thought would be his death. But of course, Harry couldn’t remember exactly how far he was from the clearing before he dropped it, so bent down and began using his hands to dig just under the surface of leaves, sticks and dirt. Severus did not desire getting his hands dirty, so used his wand instead to clear away some of the natural debris. Finally, he saw a small, black stone encased in a gold ring, and was sure it was the Horcrux he remembered seeing the night he saved Dumbledore from the curse it contained. Bending down to pick it up, Severus clutched the ring in his fingers, stood up and began to examine it by turning the ring over in his hands to make sure that it was the ring containing the Resurrection Stone before he alerted Potter to his finding it.   
“Oh great, you found it!” Harry exclaimed, walking over to Severus who was only a couple of metres away from where he was searching. Even from a distance, Harry could tell that Snape had definitely found the Deathly Hallow they were looking for.  
“Should we start putting the enchantments around it now?” Harry asked.  
But Severus didn’t answer him; he felt a breeze, just a small one that occurred after he turned the ring over for the third time. He knew something had happened, but he wasn’t sure what. Potter’s words were just echoes in the back of his mind as he forced himself to listen very carefully to anything that may be near by.   
Someone was here.  
Finally, Harry reached Snape, having to climb over branches and rocks to get to him.  
“Severus, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, wondering why the man hadn’t replied to him yet.  
“Shhh,” Snape said, keeping his eyes peeled as he looked past Harry and to his right and left.  
“What are you doing?” Harry whispered. “Did you hear something?”  
“No, I felt a breeze that came out of nowhere. Something is here,” Severus replied.  
Severus was expecting Harry to look worried, but instead Harry smiled in response. Harry had only ever used the Resurrection Stone once but he knew that the small, gentle breeze that came from nowhere meant that loved ones had been resurrected. Of course, Harry had no doubt who Snape would have resurrected and consequently who it was that Snape could feel around him.  
Hi Mum. Harry thought to himself and he could feel his heart fill with warmth; she was there.   
In the mean time, Snape was still staring at Harry.  
“What is so amusing?” Severus demanded of Potter.  
“Nothing,” Harry said smiling; he couldn’t wait until Severus turned around because he could sense that that is where his mother would be.  
“This is not a time to be foolish, Potter. When I was looking at the ring, I heard and felt something. For all we know, it could be Greyback!” Snape hissed, outraged that Harry could be so thoughtless.  
“Greyback isn’t here-”  
“Well someone is!”  
“True, but to find out who, you should probably turn around,” Harry replied quietly, waiting with bated breath to see what would happen when Severus obeyed his orders.  
“What? There’s no one behind-”   
Snape was speechless, his heart began to race; he could feel rivers of emotion threatening to flow over as he stared into the bright green eyes of Lily Potter.  
“Lily,” he breathed as he stared at the beautiful woman he both loved and lost.  
“Hi Sev,” Lily replied smiling gently.  
“Can he- Harry, can he see you?” Severus asked quietly, so that Potter couldn’t hear.  
“No, Severus, he can’t-”  
“But he knew you were here,” Snape pressed on as he turned around momentarily to watch Harry walk away from him, the stone and Lily.  
“Where are you going?” Snape demanded, and Harry was shocked to hear the urgency and the panic in his voice.  
“I’ll just leave you alone for a while. I’ll be nearby, don’t worry; take all the time you need-”  
“I don’t need time,” Snape insisted.  
“Don’t be stupid,” Harry said in what he hoped was a kind way. He knew Severus was trying to sound like he didn’t care that the woman he loved was right in front of him, but Harry knew that the man, though perhaps a little scared, wanted nothing more than to talk to Lily.  
Harry continued to walk away as Snape stared aggressively after him.  
Once he had calmed down he turned back to Lily, who was still looking as beautiful as ever, her green eyes studying him intently.  
“My son knew that the breeze you felt came from whoever it was that you resurrected. He concluded that that person would be me,” she explained happily.  
“But how did he know?”  
“How did he know that you love me? I don’t know Sev, maybe you should ask him,” Lily replied in a half joking, half sarcastic manner.  
“But he should be able to see you too; he told me that you were resurrected when he used the Stone all those years ago.”  
“True,” Lily agreed, nodding. “But because he didn’t use the stone this time, he is not able to see whoever you chose to resurrect; it’s meant to be a private thing,” Lily said kindly.  
Snape laughed very much like how Sirius used to when he found something to be outrageously absurd.  
“Well it seems that I can never hide anything from Potter; he found out regardless.”  
“Yes, he did, because he knows that those who are resurrected are not only the people the user loves, but those who continue to live within them,” Lily explained.  
“What?” Severus asked, not fully understanding what she was saying.  
“You are the only person who can see me; no one else could, even if they tried every spell known to mankind. There’s no way of seeing who someone truly is. I am here now because I am a part of you and always have been,” Lily said gently, having noticed how the expression on Severus’ face had changed from confusion to comprehension.  
“But-” Snape was in disbelief. “But, you hated me after that day- you wouldn’t choose to be a part of-”  
“This isn’t about choice, Sev. Whether or not I wanted to be with you after I died… it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that you wanted me- you held onto me, so a part of me stayed with you and with my son, the two people who loved me most,” Lily said quietly, tears in her eyes.  
“But I didn’t know you were with me; I felt you were lost forever and that there was nothing I could do to bring you back.”  
“Well, as luck would have it, you are now friends with Harry and because of him, you are now here with the Resurrection Stone clutched in your hand.”  
Snape nodded. Of course, he realised that if he hadn’t befriended Harry, he would not have had the opportunity to resurrect Lily.  
“Why didn’t you want Harry to leave?” Lily asked- she felt she already knew the reason, but wanted to see if Severus would ever admit his feelings to her.  
In truth, Snape didn’t want Lily to know exactly why he wanted Harry to stay with him, but at the same time, he wanted to be honest with Lily, something he never was when Lily was alive.  
“I um- I didn’t want to-”  
“Talk to me?” Lily finished for her friend. “Why?” She asked, tilting her head to the side as she studied her friend.  
“It just- it hurts-” Severus whispered, looking at the ground and away from Lily’s gorgeous glow.  
“Too much?” Lily completed sympathetically. “I’m sorry, Severus.”  
Snape looked up into Lily’s face.  
“Don’t apologise to me; you have nothing to be sorry for,” Snape insisted. “I was the one who called you a- you know- and no excuse will suffice for that, Lily.”  
“But I knew how sorry you were and I could tell that you really missed me, but I was certain you had chosen your Death Eater friends over me- I didn’t want to be humiliated again.”  
“But I swear I wouldn’t have hurt you again. I truly learnt my lesson,” Snape insisted, realising that he sounded like a young boy once again.  
“I know you wouldn’t have, Sev. But I was only fifteen. I was headstrong and proud, and once you called me a ‘Mudblood’, if I became friends with you again, what would people have thought? What if you did call me that name again? Then people would have considered me foolish for ever going back to you. After that day by the lake, James realised that he had a chance with me and was very comforting. He knew how much I cared about you-”  
“And then asked you to marry him?” Snape interrupted scathingly.  
“Yes, at the end of Hogwarts!” Lily replied defensively. “My marriage to James has nothing to do with this, Severus! If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t have had Harry-”  
“And then you wouldn’t have died!”  
Lily was hurt by this and Severus could tell.  
“You have not always been this selfish-”  
Snape felt guilty for his outburst, but couldn’t help but answer Lily truthfully, yet again; he was on a roll.   
“Yes, I have. I always thought about myself before anyone else, except when it came to you. Why do you think I treated your son so badly whilst he was at school? I assume you know how I treated him?” Snape asked aggressively, emotions building up inside of him.  
“Well I assumed you treated him as such because he was a living reminder that I chose James- he simply reminded you of my husband. My son didn’t do anything to you!”  
“You’re right; he didn’t do anything to me, I did hate James and I thought your son would be just the same as him, but that’s not the only reason why I gave him such a hard time.”  
“Then why did you, Severus?” Lily demanded, not seeing how any other explanation could be plausible.  
“Because he was alive and you weren’t! He survived because you died! How else was I supposed to react towards him?” Severus asked almost hysterically.  
“Like you would to any child, with kindness and civility. It wasn’t Harry’s fault I died, surely you could see that?”  
“Of course, but that didn’t mean I completely forgot about who he is; your son and the son of the man who made my life at Hogwarts a living hell. You know of the things your husband did and said to me, Lily, so do not defend him,” Snape hissed.  
“I cannot defend what he did as a student; he was rude and too confident, but he grew out of it, believe it or not; it’s not like I fell in love with a monster!”  
“And yet, when you were still alive, I am sure every now and then he would reminisce about that day by the lake, it was probably your favourite story to-”  
“How dare you?!” Lily exclaimed, her eyes wide as she stared, shocked at the manners and the obvious grudge her friend still held after so many years.   
Severus saw the look Lily gave him and almost recoiled away from her. It was then that he remembered what he told Harry the first time they spoke- that he didn’t want Lily’s eyes to look at him as if there was nothing he could do to make things better. And yet, despite all of his efforts, Lily was giving him that very stare and Severus had to master himself before he could speak again.  
“I apologise for saying that; I didn’t mean it, Lily- I know you wouldn’t do anything like that- I am sorry,” Snape whispered, trying to maintain his breathing which was trying to escape from him.  
Lily was still furious, but at the same time, having watched Severus since the day she passed away, she knew he still had vengeful feelings towards James and couldn’t really blame him for hating the man still. But to suggest that she supported James’ baiting of Severus was going too far.  
“Just to make things clear, Severus. For your information, once James and I were married, we would frequently reflect on our time at Hogwarts and I assure you that he never looked upon what he did with satisfaction or relish. Although he hated the dark arts and thought that you would one day enter Voldemort’s circle, he realised you did nothing to him and that you did not deserve such a hard time,” Lily explained, still feeling a little bitter, but she meant everything she said; it was true after all.  
“You don’t have to stick up for him just because you married him. I don’t care if he hated my guts until the day he died,” Snape said in an undertone, because of course, he would have cared; he would like to believe what Lily was telling him, but somehow, he didn’t feel that James was one to change.  
“Do you really think my husband was that type of person? That I would marry someone so ruthless? He changed; he grew up, Severus which is more than I can say about you!”  
The fight between Lily and Severus that ended only moments ago was heating up again.  
“Well I wish he were here, just so I can prove you wrong!” Severus yelled, thinking that James would tell the truth; there was no way the man would admit he regretted what he did during their Hogwarts days, even if he is dead.  
“Unfortunately, you’re fighting a losing battle Snape,” said a voice from behind Severus. It did not take the man two seconds to know exactly who had spoken those words, though he did wonder how the man came to be there.  
Snape turned around as fast as he could, his face turning pale as he laid eyes on James Potter, looking exactly as he did the last time Snape saw him.  
“Lily is telling the truth,” James reinforced, continuing the conversation.  
“I don’t believe-”  
But before Snape could finish his sentence, James laughed.  
“What?” Severus barked aggressively, staring between James and Lily, who were standing opposite each other.  
“My goodness, Snape. You have spent almost an entire year in the company of the Potters. You have seen my son change and my grandchildren change in favour of you and yet you still refuse to believe that perhaps I changed before I passed away? That perhaps I thought that you at least deserved kindness and consideration; something of which I never gave to you at Hogwarts?”  
“Your son only changed because of what I meant to Lily- what I meant to Dumbledore- what I did. Had he not known what I told him, he would not have forgiven me-”  
“But had you given him the time, Severus. Had you given him the opportunity to get to know you like I did, he would have forgiven you. And now, all three of us know how much you mean to him. He saw that you are a good person, even if you never wished to show it,” Lily said soothingly, not wanting Snape to get upset again.  
“Though your Patronus does give it away,” James said, smirking.  
“You know about my Patronus?” Snape asked, not knowing whether he should be worried or embarrassed.  
“Of course we’ve seen it. She is beautiful, isn’t she?” Lily said, quickly reminiscing about her doe, before coming back to reality.  
Snape nodded and then said, turning to James. “Why are you here?”  
“I took the opportunity to come. I cannot be resurrected unless you, in this case, want me to be here, which you did. But I can tell you wish for me to leave, so I will say what I want to say and then leave you two alone,” James said.  
Snape nodded again, more slowly this time. What could James possibly want to say to him?   
“I’m sorry for everything I ever did or said to you, Snape. I was a thoughtless student, completely in love with Lily and completely full of myself. I heard that you loved the Dark Arts and automatically assumed you would desire nothing more than to work for Voldemort. Of course, this is what you ended up doing, but since dying I have wondered whether you would have become a Death Eater if you and Lily remained friends. Lily cared for you, Snape. She missed you and she still does. So don’t be too hard on her,” James said in a tone of friendship as opposed to conceit and hatred. Snape didn’t even know such a voice existed in James Potter and was consequently surprised by the man’s words.  
“Take care,” James said, giving a small bow towards Snape before disappearing.

Snape didn’t know what to say- what to do. He simply stood there, thinking about what James had just said. Turning to Lily for an explanation, he asked:  
“James is not a part of me, so how did I resurrect him?”  
Relieved that Severus hadn’t resumed their argument, Lily answered: “You are right, he isn’t a part of you like I am, but anyone you wish to resurrect will come if they desire to. But when you pick up the stone, if you don’t know what you are doing, only those who are truly a part of you will be resurrected, whether you ask them to or not.”  
“I see,” Snape said, still thinking hard.  
“There’s no point trying to analyse what James said, Severus. He meant every word; he’s not pulling your leg. Although it took me a while to forgive you for what you said, once I did, it was after Hogwarts and I wanted to know what you were up to. Although James didn’t encourage me to search for you, he didn’t object either and simply wanted me to be happy.”  
“You wanted to be friends again?” Severus asked in complete disbelief.  
“I don’t know if I could have… I never had the chance to find out, but what I did want was to let you know that despite what you said, I still cared about you, even if we weren’t friends.”  
“So why didn’t you come looking for me?”  
“Because that’s when we were trapped in our home for weeks on end because Lord Voldemort was after us- or Harry, as we now know.”  
“And I suppose you know my part in that whole affair too?” Severus asked miserably; the memory of what he did was hitting him hard.  
“Yes, we do know, but it wasn’t your fault Sev; you had no idea what was going to happen. You don’t still blame yourself for that, do you?”  
“No, your son and youngest grandson tried to convince me to forgive myself.”  
“And you should listen to them, Severus; they are right. But if you won’t listen to them, then listen to me,” Lily insisted, causing Severus to look up into her eyes- he was paying attention and Lily knew it. Smiling she continued:  
“Anyone who knows what you have done since I passed away would not only conclude that you severely regret what you did, but that you loved me so deeply that you would do anything to prove you had no intention of putting my life in jeopardy. Ironically, you have convinced everyone of this, but you and it saddens me that you have caused yourself so much pain for something you had no control over. I don’t want you to feel guilty anymore; I am okay and always have been. Just know that I wanted to reconcile with you right up until the day I died and that I never once blamed you for what happened with the prophecy. I knew you loved me and would never wish anything like that upon you. And if you won’t forgive yourself to relieve your own suffering, then do it to relieve mine,” Lily continued, thinking that this would gain her friend’s greatest attention.  
“What do you mean?” Severus asked, wanting to know how he is continuing to cause Lily pain, despite her having passed on many years ago.  
“I’m a part of you, Sev and have been since the day I died. I can feel your emotions and feel your pain. So, whenever you think of me and what you did, it’s as if you pierce my heart with your guilt and regret. I watch you and I can see how much pain you cause yourself. Don’t do this to yourself any longer, Severus. Please, after so many years, please relieve yourself of the pain you feel everyday. Even after speaking to my son and Grandson, you still feel responsible, but its time to let go-” Lily was pleading with Severus, wanting him so desperately to forgive himself.  
“But I can’t-”  
“You can. Just push it aside and think about all the fun we had, rather than what didn’t happen. Do it for me!” Lily continued to plead.  
“Why does it mean so much to you?” Severus asked, sensing the great emotion that Lily was feeling towards him.  
“Because I love you, Sev! Because you mean so much to me and I want you to be happy and live the remainder of your life as best you can! Spend time with Harry and his wonderful family and do the things you haven’t been able to do because of me- because of Voldemort. Be free from the guilt-”  
“But I don’t want to be!” Snape cut in, before thinking about what he was saying.  
Lily paused; she knew that Severus said the words in the spare of the moment, not because he thought them through.  
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to be free of the guilt?”  
“It doesn’t matter,” Snape mumbled, wishing desperately that he hadn’t opened his mouth.  
“Talk to me, Severus,” Lily said gently.  
It was impossible for Snape to deny Lily’s wishes, no matter how much he wanted to hide his feelings from her.  
“For some reason, I feel like I have to- hold on to what I did because then that gives me a reason for thinking about you and for missing you. If I let go of my guilt and completely forgive myself then I have nothing to hold on to. So, I decided to feel regret and guilt knowing that you will never leave because I’ll be holding you here and then it is in my control and nothing me or anyone else can do or say would force me to let that go. If I always feel guilty then in a way, I can carry you with me wherever I go, there would always be that connection between you and me.”  
“Oh, Severus! Do you mean to say that you encouraged yourself to maintain this guilt just so you have an excuse to think of me? An excuse to miss me?” Lily asked, tears sparkling in her eyes. “You must stop doing this at once! You don’t need to do this to yourself, Severus! There is a better way!” Lily cried, realising at this moment just how much Severus truly loved her- truly missed her.  
Watching Lily in such distress, made Severus’ heart jump, his eyes stinging slightly as he replied in a pleading tone: “There is nothing else I can do, Lily. I have done this for so many years, I will be fine; it doesn’t hurt any-”  
“Don’t lie to me, Severus! If you never let go, then you’ll always remember me as the woman you accidentally killed and not the friend you once had, the person you used to have good times with. Don’t remember me this way! Please!”  
“But I- I don’t want to change-”  
“I know, but do it for me and for yourself! You don’t have to forget me; you’ll still have many memories and my son to remind you of me. And you have your Patronus, that beautiful doe, it makes me so happy that she went to you, but please, please don’t hold onto your regret and sorrow, it causes too much damage.”  
Of course, deep inside, Severus knew Lily was right. After all, he could always feel the jab in his heart every time he thought of her and what he did to lose their friendship and her life. But Severus had been holding onto it for so long that he didn’t know how to let go…  
Severus stood in silence, watching the tears pour down Lily’s face, her bright green eyes pleading with him.   
Finally, Severus felt that he had no other choice- although he didn’t know how to let go, he was certainly going to try- for Lily.  
“I’ll try,” Severus whispered, looking into Lily’s eyes to show her that he would truly try his best.  
“Thank you, Severus,” Lily whispered back as she smiled with relief; she so badly wanted to see Severus move on and enjoy the rest of his life, that Severus’ assertion that he would try meant more to her than she could ever express.

There was silence.  
“Perhaps I should go,” Severus mumbled, realising that there was nothing much else to be said. Although he felt he should go, as it was almost two in the morning, he would have loved to stand there and look at Lily forevermore.  
“Okay, Sev,” Lily replied, knowing that her son was thinking about Severus and wondering when he would be finished.  
“I love you,” Severus said so suddenly, the man wasn’t even aware of what he was saying. “And I’m sorry I never told you that when you were alive.”  
Lily was smiling, so glad that she finally heard the words she always knew he felt but was too afraid to say.  
“I love you too, Severus. Take care of yourself and remember, if you are ever looking for me, look inside yourself; I’m always there.”  
Snape nodded, feeling a warm feeling in his heart. He knew Lily was forcing him to feel her presence, so he knew where to look if he ever sought her.  
“Now all you need to do is let go of the ring and I’ll disappear.”  
Snape didn’t know what was happening, but just as he was about to let go of the golden ring, he felt himself change; his hand felt abnormally warm against the ring and he felt scared, truly scared.  
Snape stood stock still, grasping the ring tight in his palm, staring into space.  
“Severus?” Lily said, moving around so that she was face to face with her friend.  
“What’s the matter?”  
“I can’t let go,” Snape said, looking at Lily.  
“I know it’s hard, Sev, but it’s for the best.”  
“Why can’t I just keep the ring and carry you with me? Then you’ll always be here.”  
“That is, of course, your choice; I can’t force you to change your mind, if that’s what you want to do. But Severus, think of what you’ll be doing. Not only will you be giving Greyback a reason to attack you, but you will be tying me to Earth and keeping me here forever. Although I love talking to you and love being here with you, I would prefer to go back, it isn’t good for me to be here.”  
“But I want you to stay,” Severus persisted.  
“I know, but try to understand that you can’t- you really shouldn’t. It isn’t a good idea, Sev. I know you’ll miss me, but you will move on and I know Harry will help you through it. Just let go of the stone for me-”  
“NO!” Snape yelled as he moved away from Lily, clutching the stone.  
Lily turned pale, something was seriously wrong with Severus. Realising that even if she did know what was wrong, she wouldn’t be able to help, she focused all of her energy on her son, encouraging him to come towards her and Severus.

Harry felt a warm sensation in his heart and knew, without fully understanding how, that his mother needed him. Hurrying back to where he left Severus, Harry saw Snape standing remarkably still, still holding onto the ring.   
“Severus?” Harry said cautiously, realising that his mother would only make contact with him in such a way if there was a problem.  
Snape’s head turned sharply to face Harry, and Harry couldn’t help but jump slightly upon seeing the dark eyes and the almost murderous expression upon Snape’s face.   
There was definitely something wrong.

“Severus, Harry is here to help you. You must let go of the Stone,” Lily pleaded with her friend.  
“No! Because then you’ll leave me and I’ll never see you again!”  
“Yes, you will, Severus. Just look inside-”  
“Nothing is as good as the real thing. This way I can see you everyday-”  
Finally, Harry understood what was happening.  
“Severus-”  
“Stay away from me, Potter!” Snape yelled at Harry, and then turned quickly to face Lily again.  
“Don’t do this, Severus! Think about what would happen if you kept the Stone!”  
“That’s what I’ve been doing my whole life! Thinking about what other people want! But what about me? All I want is you! Why won’t you stay with me?” Severus demanded, half pleading, half furious.  
“I know you’ve had a hard time and I wish- I truly wish I could stay here for you, but I don’t belong here and you know that, Severus! Think of all the people who may die or be injured because you kept the stone! It’s too dangerous! Please listen to me,” Lily begged.  
Harry couldn’t take it anymore; obviously Snape was under some form of control. Deciding that the Resurrection Stone was probably affecting Snape in some way, Harry said very cautiously:  
“Severus, please let go of the stone.”  
Snape spun around and stared at Harry.  
“No, the stone is mine and I am never letting it go!”  
“Is this really about the stone or about Lily?” Harry asked, as he slowly walked towards Severus, hoping to get some form of grip on the Stone.  
Severus noticed Harry’s slow, progressive movements towards him and held onto the stone even more.  
“Get away from me!” Snape hissed, but Harry was too fast and sprinted the last three metres so that he had a strong grip, not on the stone but on Snape’s arm.  
Snape was using every ounce of energy he had to fling Harry off him, but it didn’t work; Harry was holding as tightly as he could to Snape, until he could get a hold of the stone; he was not going to let Snape stuff this up for him- for the Wizarding World.  
“Severus, Harry is only trying to help!” Lily shrieked, not believing that her friend and son were almost wrestling right in front of her and there was nothing she could do about it.  
“He wants to take you away from me!” Severus told Lily.  
“No, Harry could never do that. Only you can separate yourself from me, Severus! No one else can force you to! I’m always with you!” Lily reminded Sev, becoming emotional again. She knew how much pain Severus was in and desperately wished she could relieve his pain another way.  
“Severus, listen to me. There’s something wrong with you, the Stone is controlling you; you must listen to me and not to the Stone!” Harry spoke both clearly and loudly, still fighting his way towards the Stone clutched in Snape’s other hand.  
“No!” Snape yelled.  
“Listen to Harry, Sev!” Lily pleaded. “Please listen to him, you aren’t well! I know the real Sev- I know he loves me more than anything else in the whole world and never would he force me to stay here. We both want the real you back. Please listen to Harry, Severus!”  
“Severus, you can’t keep the Stone, it’s too dangerous, Greyback might find out that you have it and that will get him one step closer to his goal. You know we can’t allow that to happen. And Mum isn’t going anywhere, just because you can’t see her, doesn’t mean she’s gone forever. Dumbledore told me that the dead we love never truly leave us and he’s right. She’s not leaving you, Severus; she’s just invisible. Please, give me the stone,” Harry said, trying to look Snape in the eye, as he struggled against Severus’ surprisingly strong arms, which he realised were not fighting as hard as they were two minutes ago.  
“I can’t…” Severus said, looking pleadingly at Harry, as if for a moment Snape was himself again.  
“You can, Severus, I know you can,” Harry said soothingly, as he maintained a firm grip on the man.  
Snape turned to Lily, who was watching with apprehension and spoke in a voice that was both so emotive and unlike anything Severus had ever said before, and yet Lily knew that finally, the real Severus was overpowering the possessed one.  
“I’ve lost you once. Please don’t make me lose you again.”  
Harry felt Severus’ pain and like Lily, knew that only those words could truly indicate what Severus was feeling. After a moment’s pause, Lily said.  
“You never lost me, Severus. I have always been here with you. I know it’s hard, but just know that I love you. Be strong for me and let go of the ring.”  
At that moment, Harry saw Severus’ eyes flash. Severus stopped fighting against Harry who let him go. Feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from him; Severus walked towards Lily and whispered:  
“Stay with me.”  
“Always,” Lily said smiling with relief, tears sparkling in her eyes.  
Severus dropped the ring and Lily vanished.


	23. Numbing the pain for a while

“Severus?” Harry whispered, standing perfectly still as he watched the man from afar. Severus hardly heard Harry; he was staring at the place Lily had just been, breathing fast as he felt his body return to normal. Heart pounding, Severus continued to stare at nothingness, his whole body mourning for the woman he had let go. And yet, he could feel Harry watching him and knew that Lily wouldn’t want him standing there forever. Deciding that he should turn his attention to Harry, he turned around to look at him, acknowledging that he had heard his name.  
Harry jumped, just a little, at the sight of Severus; his face was pale, his eyes full of emotion. Harry had never seen Severus sad before, but the man was clearly sorrowful and it was hard for Harry to watch. Severus was someone who used to treat him with anger and contempt now looked at him as if screaming silently in pain. Harry knew the experience must have been difficult for Severus and in retrospect Harry wondered if it was the right thing to do; perhaps he shouldn’t have encouraged the man to talk with the woman he has been pining over for years. But such thoughts couldn’t distract him now; unfortunately, Harry and Severus had a job to do.  
“You okay?” Harry asked Severus, approaching him slowly for the man still seemed to be vulnerable. Harry didn’t want to push him to put the protections around the stone if he wasn’t ready to yet.  
Again, Severus didn’t answer, though he heard Harry’s attempt to comfort him.  
Finally, Harry reached Severus and placed a hand on his shoulder. Snape didn’t move, didn’t even flinch at his touch. He was still staring blankly in front of him and although he knew Harry had made his way towards him, he didn’t have any desire to look at him.  
“You can talk to me,” Harry continued quietly; he wanted Snape to know he was there for him but at the same time, didn’t want to intrude upon the man’s thoughts.  
Severus continued to look at the empty space in front of him, the vision of Lily escaping him; he could no longer see her and even though he tried to hold on, the only thing he could feel was a burning sensation in his heart… Lily. Although he could feel the woman he loved more than anyone else was with him, inside of him, he kept trying to hold onto her picture, her beautiful red hair and bright green eyes. But she was gone and Severus knew he had to try to and move on, for Lily… for himself.  
Suddenly Severus moved. Pushing aside Harry’s reassuring hand from his shoulder, he picked up the ring, dug a small hole with his wand, buried the ring and placed the debris back over it just like it was before he found it. Without looking at Harry or uttering a sound, Severus began to place the same protective spells he put over the Elder Wand, around the Resurrection Stone. Harry hadn’t moved and was simply watching the man do what needed to be done, regardless of how much grief he was feeling. Deciding that he better help, Harry stood next to Severus and began to add his protections to the Stone. It never occurred to him that he and Severus were now preventing themselves from having access to the one object that allowed them to see and speak to, the people they love. Although Harry was okay, for he had grieved over his parents, Godfather and Remus long ago, he knew that as Severus placed every charm over the ring, he was also preventing himself from seeing or talking to Lily face to face ever again. While Harry knew Severus would be okay, perhaps after a good night’s sleep, he couldn’t help but wonder how much pain Severus was in and wished that there was some way he could help the man.   
Just as Harry was about to say some more words of comfort, Severus stopped waving his wand, stood stationary for half a second and then walked up to the castle before Harry could even think of something to say.  
Maybe there is nothing I can say… Harry thought to himself as he ran after Severus, having just finished his own protections.  
“Severus! Wait!” Harry yelled after his former professor, but the man didn’t respond and continued to glide away from Harry and towards the dungeons. Having just entered Hogwarts castle, Harry saw Severus’ black cloak disappear behind a statue as Snape continued his descent towards his office and sleeping quarters.  
Harry contemplated going after him, but he thought that perhaps Severus needed some time to think about what just happened and besides, Harry was tired; it was three in the morning. But, nevertheless he felt he should return to Minerva’s office, as late as it was, just to inform her and Dumbledore of what happened before he returned home.  
“Expecto Patronum,” Harry said quietly as his stag appeared in front of him so Harry could send a message to Minerva to make sure she was still awake before he invaded her privacy.  
Harry stood in the Entrance Hall, foolishly hoping that Severus would reappear, but after only two minutes, Harry was making his way to the headmistress’ office, for Minerva had sent her Patronus in reply, telling Harry that she was still awake, though very drowsy.  
Walking quickly towards the office, giving the password to the gargoyle and standing contently on the stairs as it took him to the top, Harry knocked on the door with the griffin knocker before entering.  
“Come in, Potter,” Minerva said yawning, but when she opened her eyes and looked around, she asked: “Where is Severus?”   
Harry averted his gaze to look at Dumbledore’s portrait which seemed to be wondering the same thing.  
“It’s a long story,” Harry replied, realising that Severus probably wouldn’t want him, Minerva and Albus to discuss what just happened.  
“Is he well?” Minerva asked, worried.  
“Oh, yes Professor McGonagall, he’s fine, we just- well I think he just needs to rest,” Harry answered hesitantly, but even as he said it, he knew by the way Dumbledore was staring at him that the man wanted to know more.  
“Did you manage to put the necessary protection around the Elder Wand and the Resurrection Stone, Harry?” Dumbledore asked as he X-rayed Harry with his twinkling blue eyes for the second time that night.  
“Yes, I came up here to tell you both that the job is finished. They are fully protected and I am sure that no one would be able to get their hands on them, especially Greyback.”  
“We can only hope so,” Minerva said, clearly dreary. “Well, thank you for informing me of this Potter, I think I am going to go to bed. Good night Potter, Albus,” Minerva said halfway up the stairs to her sleeping quarters.  
“Good night,” Dumbledore and Harry responded in unison.  
Once Minerva had left their midst, Harry turned to Dumbledore and noticed the man didn’t look tired at all.  
“Do you need to sleep, Professor Dumbledore?” Harry asked out of pure curiosity for he had never considered whether a portrait even needed sleep.  
Dumbledore smiled broadly and replied: “No, we don’t need sleep, though as you can see,” he pointed to the many witches and wizards sleeping in their frames on the wall opposite, “ we will not deny ourselves the opportunity nonetheless, for it is something to do when there is nothing more exciting to attract our attention,” Dumbledore said joyfully. “But of course, you must want to get home, so do not let me keep you,” Dumbledore continued, looking at Harry intently, realising that there was a reason why Harry hadn’t taken the opportunity, like Minerva had, to excuse himself.  
“I don’t want to leave yet,” Harry said seriously, looking directly at Dumbledore. “I was wondering if I can talk to you just quickly, about something that happened in the forest.”  
“Be my guest,” Dumbledore said as he gestured to Minerva’s chair behind her desk for Harry to sit in.  
“Thank you,” Harry said as he let himself collapse in the chair which was surprisingly comfortable.  
“What is it that you want to tell me? Is it something to do with Severus?”  
Harry nodded. “But I don’t think he’ll want me to tell you what happened, so I’ll try and be as brief as I can be.”  
Dumbledore gestured that he should go on, so Harry continued:  
“Severus and I went to the Elder Wand first and placed the protections around your tomb and everything was fine there. Then he and I went into the forest in search for the ring, of which I dropped on the ground, so I didn’t know exactly where it was, as you may recall from the talk we had after I defeated Lord Voldemort.”  
Dumbledore nodded his remembering of it.  
“Finally, Severus found the ring and I think he must have turned it over to make sure it was in fact the Resurrection Stone inside the ring. But in doing so-”  
But Harry stopped abruptly when he saw Dumbledore nodding.  
“Nothing more needs to be said,” Albus said kindly, realising exactly where this was going.  
“But I haven’t told you what happened yet,” Harry asserted, wondering how Dumbledore can possibly know what was bothering him when he had hardly started.  
“I think I can work it out for myself,” Dumbledore replied smiling. “Just humour me Harry,” he continued, noticing the confused look on Harry’s face. “So let’s see now. Severus picked up the Stone and in examining it, he resurrected Lily. Although I cannot predict exactly what occurred between the two of them, I am sure that is something Severus would want to be kept private. But through one way or another, there came a time when you, Lily or even Severus decided that it was time to let go of the Stone so that you could put the protections around it. But then-” Dumbledore paused for dramatic effect. “Severus could not or would not let go of the Stone and what is bothering you is this decision seemed to be out of his control-”  
“Yes! How did you know? Have you watched someone use the Stone and not be able to let go of it?”  
“No, I have simply heard stories, Harry,” Dumbledore replied dismissively. Then he continued: “I imagine that Severus would have become very defensive, perhaps even violent and you’re wondering exactly what happened- was it Severus who was insisting that he keep holding onto the Stone or was he being possessed by the Stone itself,” Dumbledore said in a rational manner as if trying to work out a mathematical problem.  
“Exactly,” Harry replied, amazed that Dumbledore knew precisely what was bothering him- perhaps portraits can use Legilimency from their frames?  
“Well in answer to your query, Harry it is a bit of both.”  
“Both?” Harry repeated for he was not expecting this; Harry simply thought the Stone had possessed Severus, but just asked Dumbledore make sure; it seemed the answer was more complicated than he thought and was glad to be sitting down as Dumbledore continued to speak.  
“The reason why the Resurrection Stone is one of the Deathly Hallows is not only because one can resurrect their loved ones, but because it has another power that few know about. Tonight, it would seem that when Severus tried to let go of the Stone, presumably because both you and Lily were encouraging him to do so, the ring could sense that deep inside, as much as Severus knew he had to let go, a part of him still wanted to hold on. Consequently, the Stone, not wanting to be dropped, connected its powers to the love and attachment Severus feels towards Lily and forced those feelings to become more prominent than the rational ones he was channeling when he was trying to convince himself to let go. Deeper feelings are normally more powerful than those we actually convey, so when the Stone encouraged Severus’ true feelings to be expressed- feelings that are both so powerful and sacred to him, he would have become angry and defensive of himself and of Lily, especially of his desire to keep her with him- if that is what he wanted.” Dumbledore paused, wanting to know if so far his speculations were correct.  
“Yes, he wanted to keep the ring so that he would always have my mother with him,” Harry reinforced, wanting to hear more about the Resurrection Stone; he still had so much to learn.  
“Excellent, then I am not far off. So basically, what you saw was Severus’ true feelings being exhibited. You see, normally human beings have no choice but to control their emotions through reasoning. Most of us will not do things that are unreasonable or socially unacceptable for fear of being considered strange or insane. But when the Resurrection Stone has power over you, it delves into your most secret passions and feelings and makes them prominent in you whilst preventing your conscience from telling you that what you may be saying could be hurtful, dangerous or unacceptable. What I am trying to say, Harry,” Dumbledore reinforced, realising Harry may be slightly confused by his philosophical assertions, “is that whatever Severus said or did during those moments were truly him. They were his feelings, his pain and his desires, but at the same time, he had minimal control over what he was saying because the Resurrection Stone had prevented his brain from filtering out those feelings he didn’t want to express. So whatever it was that Severus said, he truly felt, but if it wasn’t for the ring, he would not have said them at all,” Dumbledore concluded and looked at Harry whose expression was one of understanding.  
“Okay, so will he- does he remember what he said now that he is back to normal?”  
“I am not sure, Harry. It seems that people who experience such things often realise that they feel physically and emotionally different for a while after they are released from the Stone’s power. But I think that is all they remember, they do not recall, for instance, exactly what they said or did whilst they were under the Stone’s control.”  
Harry nodded his head, realising Severus must have been pretty confused after Lily had disappeared and he was slowly turning back to normal.  
“But Professor,” Harry said as a sudden thought came to him. “Nothing like that happened to me when I used the Resurrection Stone the day I defeated Voldemort. I was easily able to drop it,” Harry said, greatly confused.  
“Ah, Harry, well perhaps I forgot to mention that those who want to drop the Stone, who have no desire whatsoever to keep it, will be able to drop it without a problem.”  
“But Severus knew what would have been at stake had he decided to keep the Stone,” Harry insisted, “so why would he even consider keeping it?”  
“It’s not as simple as wanting to keep the Stone or leave it behind, Harry,” Dumbledore said kindly. “Whether or not the Stone affects you depends on the person or people you resurrect. It is obvious that Severus loves your mother very much and hence-”  
“But I love my parents too,” Harry interrupted.  
“Please let me finish, Harry,” Dumbledore said, putting up a hand to silence the man. “Allow me to explain. When you went into the forest, you used the Stone, knowing what it was and what was likely to happen. Of course, nothing could have prepared you for what you saw, four people you love appearing right in front of you as if they were alive. Of course, it affected you and no doubt you stood there for a moment simply looking at them all and talking to them. But soon you realised you had a job to do; it was up to you to kill Lord Voldemort and you knew that everyone was relying on you. So you took the four of them into the forest with you, thinking that you would hold onto the Stone so that they would stay with you until the very end. But then you realised, perhaps subconsciously, that you did not need the Stone to know that they were with you. You being Harry Potter, who is in touch with his emotions and how he feels, knew that if you asked any of those four people to stay with you, they would no matter what. So you let the ring go, without a question in your mind that it was the right thing to do. You had already mourned for your parents, Sirius and Remus and you knew there was no point in holding onto them because your memories of them will stay with you forever, as will they. The Stone knew that even if it tried, your deepest feelings for those four people still would not have convinced you to keep the ring because at that moment, your deepest desire was to defeat Voldemort once and for all, not be with your parents. The Stone saw no weakness in you so it did not bother trying. Now, in Severus’ case, he knew that he could not keep the Stone and in his sane state, he never would have considered keeping it because rationally he knew what was at stake. But, unlike you, he was not expecting to see Lily, the woman he loved who was indirectly murdered by his own actions. Naturally, Severus has felt severe regret ever since. And as you have probably realised he has held onto that more than anything else for the last fifty or so years. So when he saw your mother, he was probably shocked, she took him by surprise and although he still knew he could not keep her with him forever, he nevertheless felt that if he could keep her with him then maybe he can right what he did all those years ago. To you and me, we know that such an attempt would not have been successful; after all, there is no way to bring back the dead and Severus knows this, but if you have the spirit of someone around you every moment of your life you begin to believe they are truly there and that, I think, is what Severus would have liked to have done. Although you couldn’t see this in him, the Stone, which is an amazing and powerful force, could sense this weakness in Severus and so, unlike with you, the Stone tried to persuade Severus to keep the Stone, which is what it wants. This is why the Stone is so dangerous, not only does it force people to live in the past but it has a desire of its own- to be in control of the poor person who cannot let go of another. So, the Resurrection Stone pushed Severus’ true, however deep desires to the surface of his being and if it was not for you and perhaps Lily too, I am sure the Stone would have succeeded and gained full power over Severus.”  
“I just thought Severus was being possessed, I had no idea that if given the choice, he would have kept the Stone…” Harry said in complete amazement.  
Dumbledore smiled, however solemnly.  
“I have always known that Severus was more emotionally attuned than even yourself, Harry. Although he always treated you with contempt and hatred, every thing he did to you was because of his emotions, his feelings, his hatred of your father and his love for your mother. It is, of course, very sad that Severus leads such a life, but he was that way even as a child. Although he is able to do Occlumency exceedingly well, when it came to Lily and James he had a hard time-”  
“That’s right! You taught him didn’t you?” Harry asked excitedly, suddenly wanting every detail about his lessons with a young Severus Snape.  
“I did, yes. He was able to push aside everything, his feelings about his parents, his friends, his school work, but whenever I had managed to extract a memory from him that reminded him of the more troubling times at Hogwarts, he was unable to repel me. Severus Snape, although he never wore his heart proudly on his sleeve, he had emotions that were so deep and powerful that it has only been recently, it would seem, that he has been able to let go of those emotions and befriend you.”  
“So he’s not that different from me after all?” Harry asked, finally understanding the side of Severus that the man himself never wanted him to see.  
“No, he’s not Harry. He feels his emotions just as acutely as you do, but has forced himself not to show them because as he has told you and me many times: emotions are a sign of weakness. But by the looks of things, I believe he is letting his shield down a bit and I ask you, though I know you have no intention of doing anything different, that you encourage his recent attempt at emotional honesty. He was not always like this.” Dumbledore concluded on a somewhat mournful tone.  
“What do you mean ‘he wasn’t always like this’?” Harry asked eagerly, wanting to know as much as he could about Severus. “Please tell me what he was like when you taught him Occlumency,” Harry continued, extremely interested for he had completely forgotten until this conversation that Dumbledore knew more about Severus than he ever realised.  
“After Lily and James were tragically killed, Severus came to me asking why I did not protect Lily more. Why did she have to die? And although Severus was emotionally closed off by then, he still mourned openly for her in my office that night. After what was probably a couple of hours, I suggested that he protect you from Voldemort, to which he accepted. The following day, I began to teach him Occlumency and quickly because I wanted him to get as much information as he could for me before Voldemort’s downfall, although never forgotten, would be in the back of people’s minds. I wanted him to find his fellow Death Eaters and question them about what they knew, subtly of course. So we began lessons every second night and he was, I must say, much more proficient that you were, Harry,” Dumbledore said kindly, wanting Harry to know that he didn’t truly blame the man for being so inept at it.   
“But on the occasion he would be unable to repel me, which was rare, he and I would see visions of his childhood flash by: images of Lily being angry with him, James and Sirius giving him a hard time in the corridors, people laughing at him and of course, the memory down by the lake was a prominent one. Whenever he saw these images, although they quickly flashed by, he would be unable to concentrate for a period. We would always need to take a break so he could regain concentration. In my efforts to teach him, I regret to say that I pushed him too hard, though I only saw that mistake once you came to Hogwarts, I regret it now even more strongly for I had no idea how my words would impact him. I needed Severus to become as efficient an Occlumens as soon as possible, and I was running out of time. Severus’ frequent visits down memory lane, although painful, took up a lot of time and I deeply regret that I encouraged him to push them aside and forget about them. I wanted him to distance himself from those feelings and focus on emptying his mind. After much encouragement Severus was much better and extremely proficient. I was deeply impressed by his improvement. Even when I did, on very rare occasions, manage to impede his boundaries and his past would haunt him again, he no longer needed time to recover; he simply moved on and blocked it out. I encouraged him to repress these emotions, instead of allowing him to express them openly. He clearly needed someone to talk to and I regret that I was not there for him. But it is no secret to you that my plan always came first and at the time, I did not consider the consequences that would arise from my mistake.   
“When you came to Hogwarts, Severus had a hard time, for I asked him to protect you and keep an eye on you. He did not wish to, but did so for Lily and because he knew that you were the key to Voldemort’s demise. So he again, pushed all the feelings he had towards your mother and father aside and withheld his emotions, though often, as you know, he treated you with deep contempt though he never once let on his feelings for your mother, only the hatred he had for your father, even though the former caused him more pain than the latter. All I am trying to tell you Harry is that Severus’ emotions have been suppressed for so long because I, the only person who knew of his feelings and wishes, did not take the time to encourage him to let go of both of them and move on. I never comforted Severus with the idea that he would find another woman to love because I needed him to keep loving Lily so that he would agree to help me protect you. It was I and I alone who is responsible for what happened tonight, what happened in the past, and what may happen in the future. I sincerely hope that Severus does manage to let go of Lily, never forget her, but at least let go of what he did because I know, ever since the day she died, that Severus has never forgiven himself, never relieved himself of that pain. I never meant it to go this far. As much as I needed Severus, he was also my friend and if I was not so preoccupied with Voldemort and with you, perhaps I would have had more time to help him. I knew Severus before Lily died and although he had a rough childhood, he was a good student, very introverted, but a good student and extremely adept at both potions and defense against the dark arts. He was passionate about many things, especially his two favourite subjects and Lily, of course. Although his upbringing had made him reserved But after Lily’s death, he stopped socializing, he had seen too much, felt too much to be innocent any longer and all of a sudden, nothing meant anything to him except Lily. Tonight then, when Lily became a part of his life once again, even for a moment, it would have affected him in ways that I don’t think either of us can understand. But I ask that you try to help him to undo the damage I did so many years ago. I know you have already seen his more gentle and caring side, should we say, and although his love for Lily has made him who he is today, he is still in pain. Although we can hope that, after tonight, Severus stops repressing all of those emotions, please help him, please encourage him to be the man he once was,” Dumbledore was pleading, ever so slightly to Harry and he couldn’t think of anything to do but nod his head.  
“I will try,” Harry replied realising how important this was to Dumbledore and no doubt, Severus too. “It was hard to watch Severus when he was yelling at me to leave him alone, that he needed Lily and couldn’t let go. I just had no idea he still felt that way… he hasn’t seen her for so long, I thought he had already let go…”  
“No, he has not, but he has tried. It seems that his memories of her are not enough, he has to hold onto something more.”  
“Yeah, I think I heard him say that to Mum,” Harry wondered out loud.  
“Did he know you were listening?” Dumbledore asked, staring amusingly at Harry with his bright blue eyes.  
“No,” Harry replied, feeling a little guilty. “I told him I would leave him and my mother to talk, but I only walked ten or so metres away and hid behind a tree. I heard everything he said to her…”  
“And what did you think?” Dumbledore asked, deeply interested.  
“He truly loves her,” Harry whispered, more to himself than to Dumbledore.  
“He does and nobody has acknowledged that except him. No one, not even me, has asked him about his love for Lily or even encouraged him to talk about it. And although you may have said: “You love Lily,” that’s as far as anyone has ventured into his emotions and I think he has to go further than that.”  
“Well he did tonight, he was saying things that I couldn’t believe- if I wasn’t witnessing it, I wouldn’t have believed Severus would say such things.”  
“Well I am delighted he at least had an opportunity to express his emotions to Lily; it would have been important for him and I think it would be ideal if somehow you or somebody else encouraged him to talk about it.”  
“Do you really think he would talk about it?” Harry asked, genuinely wanting to know if Dumbledore’s ideas were just ideas or actual possibilities.  
“Severus has been following my plans, doing things for other people for so long that I think he has forgotten what it is like for something to be just about him, for someone to care just because they do. I think he will appreciate you trying even if he refuses to give in,” Dumbledore said, hoping that he was right.  
“Okay,” Harry said yawning. “I think he will be asleep by now, so perhaps I will try to talk to him another day. I forgot to remind him to talk to Scorpius, Rose, Al and James tomorrow, do you think you could remind him or tell Minerva to remind him because it’s really important.”  
“Of course, Harry. Have a safe trip home and I hope to see you at Hogwarts soon.”  
“Thanks for your insight Professor,” Harry said as he stood up and turned to leave.  
“Harry,” Albus said as Harry spun around to face him, “Severus deserves more than what I gave him. Do not make the same mistake I did; he is strong, but that does not mean he is not human.”  
Harry smiled slightly, “I’ll try not to Professor.”   
Opening the door, Harry walked down the spiral staircase, exited the castle and Apparated safely back to Grimmauld Place where Ginny and Lily were sound asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Severus was glad Harry decided to stop following him; it gave him time to compose himself. However, he did spend a couple of minutes considering where Potter would have gone. Snape thought it was possible that he went to Minerva’s office to inform her of what happened. He hoped, rather than believed that Harry managed to keep his mouth shut about what happened. But Severus consoled himself that if Albus and Minerva were the only two individuals awake in the office, then the humiliation could have been a lot worse.  
As he thought about what actually happened to him only a few minutes ago, Severus collapsed onto his bed and began thinking. Severus didn’t know much about the Resurrection Stone and he didn’t know exactly what happened tonight. Strangely, he can’t remember much about what he said or did, only that Harry and Lily were trying to persuade him to let go of the Stone.   
But why didn’t I let go of it? I knew how dangerous it would be if I kept it. How foolish must I have been? Something must have happened… Remembering back to the moment he dropped the ring, Severus recalled his heart burning as if the emotion he was feeling, whatever it was, was much stronger than anything he had ever felt before.   
It wasn’t normal, no one could possibly feel something like that whenever they became emotional; they would feel so overwhelmed with their own emotions that no one could make any sense of them.  
Perhaps I said something…  
But this then opened up more doors, and Severus continued to ponder over the things he may have said to Harry, not to mention the promise he made to Lily.  
He knew what he had to do- he had to let go of his guilt, his pain, for Lily and… for himself. But it was not easy, even though both Harry and Lily made it appear so, after fifty years, letting go of something that means so much to you wasn’t as simple as saying ‘Evanesco’. Realising that he was too tired to logically consider his feelings and how he was going to go about keeping his promise, Severus forced himself to relax.  
Eventually, Severus managed to fall into a steady sleep, concluding that tomorrow he would sort out is feelings with regard to Lily, and try his hardest to be happy, despite everything he had done. Even if it took him all day, he would find a way to forgive himself- truly forgive himself so that Lily, who he could now feel continuously around him, would be happy and he supposed he would be happy too…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry woke up the following morning to a pestering Ginny who wanted to know everything that happened the night before. Apparently she stayed up until two in the morning before drifting into a deep sleep, hoping against all hope that something hadn’t gone wrong.  
“Harry! Get up and tell me what happened last night? Why did you get back so late?” She demanded in a somewhat playful way as she bounced on their bed.  
“So this is where Lily gets her ideas from,” Harry mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and put his glasses on. “I’m awake,” Harry stated, hoping that Ginny would stop bouncing, it was making him sick.  
“What happened?” Ginny demanded again. Sitting down on the bed opposite each other, Harry told her everything that happened the night before, even what he heard Severus say to Lily. Although he felt guilty for telling Ginny something he knew Severus would not approve of, he wanted to discuss it with someone who would be understanding and non-judgmental.   
After Harry completed the recount, ending on his farewell to Dumbledore, Ginny was shocked; so much information had just been given to her that she had no idea where to start.  
Finally she asked: “So, are you going to talk to him?”  
“I think so, though I don’t know how he feels towards me at the moment, perhaps he just wants to be alone for now. I think I will wait a while, maybe he’ll work it out for himself and I won’t need to talk to him,” Harry said a little hopefully. As much as he cared for Severus, he couldn’t imagine a heart to heart conversation with the man being agreeable or welcomed.   
“Maybe, but if you do talk to him, when do you think will be the right time?” Ginny asked, wondering how her husband would plan something so serious with a man who doesn’t seem to have much spare time now that he is working at Hogwarts.  
“Well, exams are coming up in a month or so, so perhaps I’ll wait until the summer break. He’ll be back at Spinner’s End by then, so that would probably be more comfortable for him, maybe he’d be more likely to talk to me then.”  
“Okay, and you said Minerva or Dumbledore will remind him to talk to Scorpius, James, Al and Rose, when he’s up to it of course?”  
“Yeah.”  
“What I want to know is how you convinced Severus to listen to you. How did you convince him to drop the Stone?” Ginny asked bewildered, and extremely curious.  
“Well at the time, I thought the Stone was possessing him, so I just tried to appeal to the real Severus. I sort of held him firmly and forced him to listen to me. I tried to convince him that it’s okay to let go of the Stone; that Lily would always be with him, that it wouldn’t be worth it to keep her in a place she doesn’t belong and I guess it worked. Now that we know the type of force the Stone had over Severus, I think some of his reasoning must have come back; he was still emotive, but he realised he couldn’t keep the ring. He wasn’t his usual self yet, but he was fighting against the Stone’s power over him, not that he necessarily knew what he was doing. But after I spoke to him, he seemed to have enough sense to know that he couldn’t keep the Stone, but not enough to realise that what he was saying was private and something he may not want me to hear.”  
“Or maybe, Severus just doesn’t mind if you see that other side of him now,” Ginny pointed out.  
“Maybe- I hope so, but I think he genuinely didn’t know I was there, as if he heard my voice as if I was like his conscience, but I don’t think he really saw me. Do you know what I mean?” Harry asked.  
“Yeah, I understand. Well it will be interesting to see what Severus is like today. Are you going to write to him?”  
“No, I think I’ll just give him some space,” Harry answered uncertainly; he wasn’t really sure what to do. He wanted to know if Severus was okay, but he didn’t want to intrude or be an annoyance to the man.  
“I’m sure he’d like to know you care,” Ginny said.  
“I think he already knows I do- I think I should just give him some space Ginny. The things he was saying last night… he made some kind of promise to my mother. I wonder what that was about. Their conversation seemed pretty deep, even though I only heard Severus’ side of it. Maybe it would be best to give him a bit of time to organize how he feels, and plus he’ll be busy with examinations soon. I think I’ll communicate with him after the holidays begin. That way he can focus on his feelings, rather than exams and may be more open towards me… or perhaps he’ll be fine by then.”  
“I hope so… I just want him to be okay,” Ginny said softly, thinking of Severus and how much she wished she could help him. “Maybe if we just-”  
“We need to give him space, Ginny. I want to check up on him too, but he is older than us, he doesn’t need us to look after him,” Harry reasoned gently.  
“But maybe he does…”  
“We’ll find out after the exams, Ginny. I’m sure if anything serious happens, Minerva or one of the kids will send us a letter. In the meantime, let’s just hope he works it out for himself, and if he doesn’t, I hope he lets us help him…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Severus woke early the next morning. Studying himself in the mirror, he ran his fingers over the bags under his eyes which were bloodshot from tiredness. It was only 7am and most people at Hogwarts normally didn’t eat in the Great Hall until 9am on a Sunday. He thought that now would be the perfect opportunity to eat in peace, incase Minerva happened to show up and question him about the previous night. But Severus felt more unsociable than usual and decided to stay in his office devising the final exam for the third years. He was interrupted an hour later by a silvery cat with square lines around its eyes which said: “Potter did not inform me what happened last night, thinking that you would want to it be kept secret. Albus tells me that he knows what occurred, but also refused to share the information so all I can hope is that you are well. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to approach me. Also, Dumbledore told me to remind you that you agreed to talk to Scorpius, Albus, James and Rose today. Of course, there is no rush, but if you feel up to it, please tell me so I can organize for them to meet you at your office at whatever time suits you.”  
The cat disappeared into thin air, but Snape hardly noticed; he had completely forgotten that he still needed to talk to the children about what was happening. Deciding that he may as well get it over and done with, even though he was extremely tired, he would prefer to do it now than during the examinations. Severus vocalized a message to his Patronus that said: “Please ask the children to meet me in my office at 2pm” and sent his doe to the Great Hall, where Minerva was undoubtedly eating breakfast.

At two o’clock, Snape was waiting patiently behind his desk. Four chairs had been conjured and were in a line facing him. He wished the kids would get here so they could get this over and done with; he really wasn’t in the mood for questions at the moment. Wishing that he hadn’t decided to do this today, thinking that another day would have been best for both parties, a knock at the door brought Severus out of his reverie.  
“Come in,” Snape said as he watched four scared looking students enter his office.  
Upon laying eyes on their professor, the four students paused, staring at what was clearly an exhausted man. Sitting down, still staring avidly at their professor, Albus asked nervously: “Professor Snape, are you okay?”  
It took Severus a couple of seconds to realise why Albus would ask such a pointless question, but then remembering how he looked this morning, he understood the boy’s concern.  
“I am fine, thank you Mr Potter,” Snape answered pointedly, wanting to get along with the task at hand, though he couldn’t help wondering whether Potter informed his children about what happened the night before.  
“You look really tired,” Rose continued, concerned that perhaps Severus hadn’t eaten anything or otherwise hadn’t had enough sleep.  
“I would appreciate it if you would stop being concerned about me,” Snape said quite harshly to the students. Then softening a little, he continued:  
“I have more pressing matters to talk with you about that do not concern my wellbeing and I insist that you remain quiet until I have finished speaking, is that understood?”  
Taken aback by their professor’s demeanor, all four of the children, especially James became a little apprehensive; he had no idea why the four of them, especially Rose were here, surely his cousin couldn’t be in trouble.  
“You are not in trouble,” Professor Snape said, having sensed that the students were worried about why they were there in the first place. “This conversation does not concern your behaviour or school work. We are talking about a matter outside of school and although you three,” Snape pointed at Rose, James and Albus, “know most of this, I would appreciate your silence whilst I inform Mr Malfoy of what you already know. But before I start, I must emphasise that anything that is discussed during this conversation is not to be repeated or discussed among anyone expect Professor Mcgonagall, myself and your parents. This information is both dangerous and secret and if you have any questions about it, you discuss your worries in private with the adults I have mentioned and no one else. Understand?” Severus said, looking between each of the children, all of whom nodded quickly as if to emphasise the fact that they would never dream of disobeying Professor Snape’s request of them.  
“Your parents want me to talk to the four of you together because they feel it is necessary to inform you of what we know about Greyback’s plans. Mr Malfoy, do you know about the Deathly Hallows?” Snape asked the boy.  
“Yes, Dad told me the story when I was young,” Scorpius replied.  
“So you know the properties of the three objects and what happens when they are combined?”  
“If a person combines the three Deathly Hallows, they become the Master of Death,” Scorpius recited.  
“Correct. Now recently, Mr Potter, Albus and James’ father, has alerted us to the fact that these three objects actually exist.”  
“Really?” Scorpius exclaimed, eyes wide. “I didn’t know that.”  
“Most people don’t and only a few know now, which is why this information must remain a complete secret. Your parents and grandparents, myself, and the parents of your classmates are now all aware of the continued existence of the Deathly Hallows and we are almost certain that Greyback is in pursuit of them so that he can combine the objects to become invincible. Yesterday, Greyback organized his meeting with us with the plan to interrogate Mr Potter regarding the whereabouts of the Deathly Hallows. No one, as far as we know, has managed to combine the three objects and we want to keep it that way. However, if Greyback does manage to obtain the three of them, he will be immortal and unbeatable in a duel and have every capability to gain control over the wizarding world. Harry Potter is the only person who knows the exact location of every Deathly Hallow and hence, Greyback is using various methods to capture or interrogate Mr Potter, though thankfully he has yet to be successful.”  
Then, addressing the other three children in front of him, Severus continued:   
“Yesterday night, Greyback became very close to getting what he is hoping to achieve. By using Scorpius here, as a form of bait, so to speak, Greyback managed to get Scorpius’ father, grandparents, myself and Mr Potter to the place where he was hoping to interrogate Potter to get the information he needed. Thankfully, when Mr Potter arrived, he noticed something was wrong and sent for Mr Weasley, Rose’s father to assist him; they hoped to capture Greyback and put him away. What was probably a lucky occurrence, Mr Weasley not only brought himself, but his wife and Mrs Potter to the scene. Greyback realised he was clearly out numbered and fled the scene before he even had the opportunity to begin interrogating Mr Potter. Nevertheless, Greyback nearly succeeded because he managed to use Scorpius as an indirect way of bringing Potter to him and we cannot allow this to happen again. I, nor anyone else is blaming you, Mr Malfoy for being there that night; there was no way you could have known what was going to happen, but I hope that I have now emphasised how important it is for each of you to understand what Greyback is doing. He, like the Dark Lord before him, will likely use innocent people like yourselves to get what he wants. It is more than likely that he will try to use Mr Potter’s children next, because none of us would be in any doubt that if either of you were captured,” Snape said seriously, looking between James and Albus, “your father would get to you as fast as he could. Even though he knows what is at risk, he will not let anything harm you, even if that means the secrets of the Deathly Hallows are revealed. Ideally, however, we do not want Potter to be in a situation where he is forced to reveal the very important information that only he knows, so it is your parents’ wishes that you understand the risks involved and that you keep an eye out for anything suspicious and never, under any circumstance, leave Hogwarts grounds, no matter what letter you may receive,” Snape looked briefly at Albus before continuing.  
“Your parents know that under no circumstance should they suggest in any way, shape or form that you leave the castle, so if you ever receive such a letter or message tell myself or Professor McGonagall at once and whatever you do, do not leave Hogwarts. The protections Professor McGonagall places around this castle will protect people like Greyback from coming it, but it does not prevent you from leaving, so we ask that you be extremely responsible in this regard. We know you are only young, but you three,” Snape said, indicating Rose, Albus and James, “have already demonstrated your desire to help. Myself and the other adults are hoping you will do everything in your power to ensure your own safety as well as each others. In saying this, I am implying that your parents and I wish that the four of you befriend each other. That way, you are able to keep an eye on one another and talk if you are worried about something, if neither myself nor Professor McGonagall are around at the time. I know that both Mr Potters and Miss. Weasley are relatives and already friends, but it is your parents’ wishes that you also befriend Mr Malfoy and vice-versa.” Snape had finally finished saying everything he wished to communicate and although he asked them to remain quiet whilst he spoke, he didn’t genuinely expect them to do so. Glad that they obeyed him, nonetheless, Snape gestured that they were now allowed to ask questions.  
“Do you know where they are?” Scorpius asked everyone around him, looking a little frightened.  
Snape paused for a moment before answering.  
“I now know where two of them are and your classmates here know the location of one, but for safety’s sake none of us,” Severus reinforced looking between Albus, James and Rose, “will be telling you exactly what we know because it is too dangerous incase Greyback manages to get a hold of you. We do not want him finding out that you know something so important because then you will be at even more risk than you already are,” Snape explained.  
“How did you find out where two of the Deathly Hallows are?” James asked, looking skeptical. “Did Dad tell you?”  
“No, he showed me,” Severus replied hesitantly.  
“How come?” Albus asked.  
“Because the two he showed me did not have protective spells around them, so Greyback would be able to gain access to them. But last night he and I went to where the other two are hidden and placed protective spells around them, which make them almost impossible to find and even harder to steal.”  
“Just out of curiosity, even if he did find out the location of the Deathly Hallows, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, would it? If he couldn’t actually get hold of them-“  
“And perhaps you are right Miss Weasley, but there is a possibility that Greyback will be able to break through the charms. If he knows the counterjinxes he will have no problem obtaining the Deathly Hallows. If he does not have the knowledge to remove the protection we have placed around them, then yes, even if he did find out where they are, he would not be able to combine them. However,” Snape said, pausing for emphasis. “There are many people who would be in danger if Greyback were to take his failure out on those around him. The location of the Deathly Hallows are regrettably located in populated areas and so, if Greyback were to transform into a werewolf or if someone were to come across him when he was trying to remove the spells around the Deathly Hallows, he would most likely injure them in some way. So, it is preferable that Greyback never discovers the location of the Deathly Hallows to ensure few injuries and of course, minimize the chance he has of combining them all.”  
“Do you think Greyback will succeed?” Scorpius asked, wanting to know how Professor Snape felt about the likelihood that Greyback will one day become the Master of Death.  
“Do I think he will become the Master of Death? No, but I do think he has the potential to put many people in danger and I would rather not give him the opportunity to do that. This is why myself and the other adults are asking the four of you to be friends or at least agree to keep an eye out for one another. The more people keeping an eye out, the better chance we have of thwarting his plans before they cause any serious damage. So, do the four of you have any problems being friends?” Severus asked straight out, hoping to get a definitive answer.  
The four children looked at each other as if contemplating how the other three were reacting to this question.  
“I’m okay with it.” Rose spoke up first, which didn’t surprise Snape; he noticed her expression the moment he suggested they befriend Scorpius and Severus sensed she didn’t have a problem with it at all.  
“Yeah, that’s okay with me,” Al replied, recalling the day when he saw how sick Scorpius looked and now partially understood why that was. He didn’t think Scorpius was that bad of a person and if his parents wanted him to be friends with Scorpius then he would fulfill their wishes.  
Snape was now looking between James and Scorpius. It seemed Scorpius didn’t know how to answer. He did seem very surprised that Rose and Al answered so quickly, but it seemed he refused to give his reply until James gave his.  
“But wouldn’t it be a bit weird if we were friends with a Slytherin?” James asked, uncertainly, looking at Severus. “No offence to your house,” James added quickly, looking between Scorpius and Snape. “But, wouldn’t other people think it is strange that we’re friends with him?”  
“Perhaps, Mr Potter, but as Mrs Weasley or your Aunt said last night, for Mr Weasley had suggested a similar thing, this is more that inter-house rivalry. This is about the wizarding world and regardless of what the prejudices are within Hogwarts, the four of you need to accept the fact that there is more at risk than what your friends think of you befriending someone from the opposing house. Your parents and I are not suggesting that you walk around the school together socializing and talking about whatever it is that students talk about these days. We are simply asking that you keep an eye out for each other whether in the grounds, during class or meal times. We just want you to be alert as to what is happening around Hogwarts, and I am sure professor McGonagall would agree that six pairs of eyes are better than two.”  
“Okay, I’ll be friends with Scorpius,” James said a little hesitantly, but he nevertheless leaned over and gave Scorpius a small smile.  
“Mr Malfoy?” Severus said, looking at the slightly pale boy to his right.  
“Okay, I’ll be friends with them- are you sure my dad and grandfather don’t mind?” Scorpius added quickly and it was clear to Severus that this was what was truly bothering Scorpius.  
“Both your father and grandfather know what is at stake and neither of them mind that you are befriending Gryffindors, Mr Malfoy because they realise that your friendship with them may well save your life.”  
Scorpius nodded his understanding.  
“Is there anything else you want to ask?” Severus asked the students before him.  
“Is that why you are really tired, Professor?” Rose asked, “Because you were placing the protective charms around the two Deathly Hallows?”  
“Yes, Miss Weasley. Anything else you wish to know?”  
“I do,” Scorpius said a little shyly, completely unlike his father when he was at Hogwarts. “You said that Mr Potter knows where all of the Deathly Hallows are. Are you telling me that he never joined them?”  
“Of course he hasn’t joined them, it would be too dangerous!” Rose intervened, slightly outraged.  
“Calm yourself, Miss Weasley.” And then turning to Scorpius, Snape replied: “When I first found out, I was thinking along similar lines to you Mr Malfoy; if I were Mr Potter I would have perhaps been tempted to combine the Deathly Hallows, though I hope I would not have been so foolish as to actually go along with it. Mr Potter told me that he has never been tempted to combine them, even though he understands that even now, he could become the Master of Death if he so desired.”  
“Wow, your dad could’ve been really powerful,” Scorpius said in awe, leaning over to look at James and Albus.  
“Yeah, he could have been,” James replied proudly; he clearly believed that what his father did was noble, and both Rose and Albus seemed to be thinking along the same lines.  
“Anything else?” Severus asked the students.  
All of the children shook their heads.  
“Excellent, well the four of you may go. Now remember what I said: don’t tell anyone what we have just spoken about and keep an eye out for each other and anything strange that may be happening around the school. If you have any queries, talk to myself or Professor McGonagall only, no other staff member knows what is happening with regard to Greyback and it’s best it stays that way. You may go,” Snape finished, thankful that that their conversation was finally over; he was so tired.  
Albus, James and Scorpius stood up to leave, filing out of the room one after another. But Rose remained where she was and Severus repressed a sigh as he asked:  
“Is there something you wish to discuss, Miss Weasley?”   
“Something happened, didn’t it?”  
“What are you talking about, Miss Weasley?”  
“Last night when you were putting the protections around the other Deathly Hallows, something happened. What was it?”  
“Nothing Miss Weasley, I am simply tired.”  
“I have seen what my dad looks like after he hasn’t slept in two days and not even he looked as bad as you do now,” Rose stated and then clapped her hands to her mouth. “I’m sorry Professor; I didn’t mean that, I’m really-”  
“There is no need for an apology, Miss Weasley. I appreciate your concern, but I am just very tired.”  
“Okay, if you say so, but I think you’re sad about something.”  
Snape tried very hard not to react to Rose’s last assertion. Trying to maintain a passive face, he replied: “I assure you that I am quite content, Miss Weasley.”  
“Okay, but I still think something happened. Does Uncle Harry know what is bothering you?”  
“There is nothing bothering me, Miss Weasley,” Snape replied trying to keep his temper.  
“Okay, well whatever it is that is bothering you, you should tell Uncle Harry if he doesn’t already know-”  
“There is nothing wrong with me, I am tired, now leave if you have nothing else you want to say,” Severus replied, realising that he was losing his temper with Rose; he really wanted to be left alone.   
Rose looked like she was about to argue back, but after a moment’s pause, she stood up and walked to the door.  
“I hope you feel better soon, Professor Snape,” she said quietly and closed the door behind her.

Snape sat behind his desk, Rose’s words echoing through his mind. Shaking his head slightly, completely amazed that Rose could sense how he was feeling, Severus pulled the third year’s exam towards him and began to read over it. But no matter how hard he tried to forget about the previous night, Lily and the promise he made wouldn’t leave him alone.


	24. The battle is won

Although his conversation with Lily continued to roll itself over in Severus’ mind, the following week was a hectic one for the students and staff at Hogwarts. It was that time of the year when examinations were underway, where searching for someone involved looking in the common room or otherwise in the library. Of course, Rose was further in front of study than anyone else, but was still worried that there was some important information she was missing. So worried in fact that it was 9pm the night before her first exam, History of Magic, and was sure she had forgotten some part of Professor Binns’ continued droning. Realising the time, she rose from her chair in the library, rubbed her eyes and stared out of the window she had been sitting next to for the past two hours. Her drowsiness went away almost immediately: she saw something, she was sure of it. A dark shadow, a form of some kind was in the forest. But was it just an animal? She couldn’t be sure. Looking around desperately to see if anyone else saw the creature too, she realised she was all alone in the library except Madam Pince who was lurking around on the other side of the room, dusting books with the magic from her wand.  
Turning around, Rose ran for the door; she had to speak to Professor Snape.  
“Hey,” someone whispered, making Rose jump.   
Spinning around, her eyes wide open, Rose searched for the source of the voice. To her right, she saw Scorpius get up from a chair that was in one of the isles, apparently reading a book.  
“Hi,” Rose said.  
“What are you doing?” Scorpius asked, having noticed the almost panicked look on Rose’s face.  
“I need to talk to Professor Snape.”  
“Why?” the boy asked. “Did you see something weird?”  
“Yes, I looked out the window just now and saw something moving in the forest.”  
“But- couldn’t it just be an animal, my dad told me there are many different creatures in the forest, it could have been-”  
“I know it’s weird, but I just want to make sure… I have a feeling… I should tell Professor Snape anyway, he should know just in case,” Rose rationalized, wanting to leave the library as soon as possible to find her professor.  
“I’ll come with you,” Scorpius said, walking towards the exit, leaving the book he was reading behind.  
“Okay,” Rose replied hurriedly.  
“But… didn’t Professor Snape say that there were protections around Hogwarts? Unwanted people aren’t able to get into Hogwarts grounds because the protection around the castle, right?” Scorpius asked hesitantly.  
“Yes, he did say that, but who’s to say that unwanted creatures cannot enter?” Rose pointed out as she increased her speed towards the dungeons, Scorpius barely keeping up.  
“Surely they would have thought of that…” Scorpius trailed off.  
“I am sure they did, but all the same, Professor Snape should know,” Rose exclaimed defiantly.  
“I know, I’m just trying to work out what it could have been. What did it look like?”  
“I don’t know, it was too dark to see, but I definitely saw something, it was not even fully within the forest, but on the outskirts. If we were outside we would have seen what it was for sure.”  
“Normally things that live in the forest wouldn’t choose to leave it, would they?” Scorpius asked sounding slightly worried.  
“I don’t think so, but then again I don’t know what lives in the forest, but Professor Snape would know and plus he told us to tell him if we noticed anything unusual and I think this is weird. Has your father ever mentioned seeing dark creatures lurking outside of the forest?” Rose asked turning to look at Scorpius for the first time since they started towards the dungeons.  
“No, he didn’t, has your mum or dad?”  
“No and neither has Uncle Harry or Aunt Ginny,” Rose replied. Not only was she worried about the animal-like shape she saw on the outskirts of the forest; now she was simply curious to know what the creature was.  
Finally, Scorpius and Rose arrived at Severus’ office. Pressing her ear against the cold timbre of the door, Rose strained to hear a sound coming from inside. Hoping her professor wasn’t sleeping, she knocked gently on the door.

*****

 

The following day was the first of many that Severus would have to regrettably endure. The exams had finally arrived and first thing in the morning he would be required in the Great Hall 9am sharp to monitor the Defense against the Dark Arts exam for the third years. Slowly drifting into an uneasy sleep, still sitting at his desk, Severus sensed a disturbance outside his office door; hurried whispering caught his ears. Slowly, Severus walked to the door, pulling out his wand as he went. Just as he reached for the door knob, a small knock make his heart leap. Arming himself, preparing for battle, Severus flung open the door and was surprised to see a terrified Rose and an anxious Scorpius standing before him.  
Lowering his wand and stowing it inside his robes, he asked:  
“Miss Weasley, Mr Malfoy, I was not expecting you at this hour. It is past your curfew so this better be important,” Severus said without any real conviction in his voice; he knew that Rose Weasley would not be at his office at such a time unless something serious had occurred.  
“I’m sorry Professor Snape, but I saw something whilst I was in the library and I thought you should know,” Rose said hurriedly, not wanting to make Severus mad, though was pleased to see that although tired, Severus seemed much happier than he did the previous weekend. Severus moved aside, allowing the two students to enter his office.  
“Very well, please tell me what you saw,” Snape replied, moving back to his desk and closing the door with his wand, staring avidly at Rose.  
“Oh, um,” Rose replied a little timidly for she had never seen Severus take such a keen interest in her before.  
“Oh well, I was in the library and was getting up to leave when I saw a dark shape in the forest. It wasn’t deep in the forest, I could see its outline, it looked like an animal of some form, but I can’t be sure. It ran away before I could have a second glance, but it was there, I swear,” Rose replied hurriedly.  
Severus paused. Of course, he knew many creatures lived in the forest, but never before had he known such creatures to come anywhere near the grounds of Hogwarts. This did worry Severus somewhat, but he thought that it wasn’t anything for Rose and Scorpius to be concerned with.  
“I appreciate you telling me this, Miss Weasley. It is very abnormal that a creature whose natural habitat is the forest would venture towards the grounds. Never in all my time at Hogwarts has any creature entered the grounds and I assure you that I will inform Professor McGonagall about what you have told me. But neither yourself nor Mr Malfoy should be concerned about this. I am sure what you saw was simply a creature being deterred from it’s natural habitat, but nonetheless, I will personally explore the area with Professor Hagrid first thing tomorrow morning to make sure nothing abnormal is living within the forest,” Severus said reassuringly, knowing that Rose should be focused on her studies rather than the creature that may be in the forest.  
“Okay, thank you,” Rose said and turned to leave.  
“Hang on,” Scorpius said to Rose, causing her to turn around. “Professor Snape, we were just wondering, can unwanted creatures enter Hogwarts grounds?”  
Again Severus paused, it was clear to him that Scorpius and Rose had some theory about what Rose had seen.  
“Yes, they can. According to ministry laws, we are not allowed to prevent animals from inhabiting the forbidden forest as their home, even if they are dangerous,” Severus replied, to the astonished at the look of panic on both students’ faces.  
“Do you have a theory about what Miss Weasley saw?” Severus asked, looking specifically at Scorpius.  
“Well no, but perhaps it’s a dangerous animal that shouldn’t be here.”  
Severus mouth twitched into a half hearted smile: “Although I hope you never discover this for yourself, Mr. Malfoy, the forest is home to many dangerous creatures. What bothers me is not what the creature is that Miss Weasley saw, but why it was so close to Hogwarts grounds. As I have already said, I will check the situation first thing tomorrow morning. But as for you two,” Snape said looking sternly between them. “You should be going to bed, you both have exams tomorrow.”  
“Yes- okay, well thank you Professor Snape,” Rose said as she left the office, followed closely by Scorpius.  
“He doesn’t seem worried,” Scorpius said, as if saying that their professor wasn’t worried made all the difference in the world.  
“Yes, but it is still strange. Oh well, perhaps we should talk to him again tomorrow evening and see if he and Hagrid found anything.”  
“Yeah okay,” Scorpius replied as he turned towards the Slytherin common room.  
“Good night,” Rose said, covering her mouth as she yawned.  
“Night,” Scorpius replied, waving as he walked deeper into the dungeons.

After Rose and Scorpius left his quarters, Severus encouraged himself to rise from his desk, and change into his night things before climbing into bed. Staying up a majority of the previous night perfecting the third year’s exam, Severus was extremely tired as he dozed off peacefully in his bed, not giving the dark, mysterious creature another thought.

But Severus’ peaceful sleep didn’t last for the entire night. The man awoke rather abruptly at five o’clock the following morning. Seeing that it was still so early, the man tried to fall back to sleep but to no avail. After half and hour of tossing and turning, Severus got out of bed and was getting dressed into his robes when he remembered what Rose had told him the previous night. Deciding that now was as good a time as any; Severus left his office and exited the castle through the front oak doors.   
Although it was still dark outside, Severus could tell the day was going to be a nice one; perfect summer weather. Walking across the lawn towards the forest, Severus pulled out his wand and began to look around the area where he thought Rose would be able to see from the library window. He was tempted to wake up Rubeus, for he knew the man had far more knowledge about the forest than he was, but decided it would be far too rude to wake him up at such an hour. So, Severus continued to search the forest, his wand giving him enough light to illuminate the leaf covered floor before him. Satisfied that at least the outer skirts of the forest had been search, Severus steadily went deeper into the trees, straining his ears for any source of sound. It wasn’t long before Severus found himself close to where the Resurrection Stone was buried by him only a week previously. Thankfully, the Stone was still perfectly safe beneath his and Harry’s protective spells. What he did notice however was a rustling from his left. Turning around so fast, his wand held in front of him, Severus used his eyes and ears to detect the source of the sound. Whatever it was was moving very fast. Beginning to panic, Severus walked quickly and quietly towards the castle where the forest was not so dense. But it seemed the creature that was making the sound could hear him, sense his every movement. Severus was sure it was chasing after him out of the forest, but with so many branches lying on the forest floor, Severus didn’t trust himself to turn around and look at what was following him. He could hear its ragged breathing, he could feel his heart pounding in his chest, and wished he had taken Rose’s warning more seriously, for he had no doubt that the creature she saw was now following him, catching up to him as he continued to run from the forest.  
Finally, he could see the light through the trees and with relief he continued to sprint towards the open area where he would be able to see and finally identify whatever it was that was following him. Finally, Severus heard the breathing of the creature die away; there were no longer footsteps rushing from behind him; the creature had gone. But Severus was not yet comfortable to turn around to be sure until he was safely in the grounds.   
His wand still clutched tightly in his hand, Severus spun around and froze; he was staring into the eyes of a werewolf that was slowly but surely approaching him with such stealth that Severus couldn’t hear each paw touch the ground. Although the werewolf was more than twenty metres away, Severus knew how quickly the creature could leap. As if able to read the creatures mind, Severus could sense the werewolf was about to attack. Bracing himself, Severus jumped backwards away from the werewolf as it ran towards him. He felt the long, sharp claws dig into his flesh and rip his robes. Screaming in pain, Severus placed his left hand over his chest, soaked in blood within seconds, his right hand still clutched tightly around his wand. His instinct was to run, after all very few people would think twice in a situation like this. But the pain in his chest was stabbing him sharply, and Severus felt he didn’t have the energy or the strength to run. His second instinct was to kill the creature, but he soon stopped himself, this person, whoever he was had no choice but transform every full moon, it was not right to kill the creature until the identity of the werewolf was at least identified. As if Mother Nature could sense Severus’ dilemma, the moon faded and the sun began to rise in a beautiful red/orange glow.  
Panting and staring at the now rigid werewolf, Severus braced himself for what he was about to see. Slowly, the long snout, fur and tail disappeared but before the transformation even finished, Severus whispered: “Expecto Patronum” and sent his Patronus to Potter; he did not have enough energy for the battle that was about to come.

The ragged man lay on the ground momentarily, having just completed a painful transformation. But this man was unlike most werewolves and knew almost immediately exactly who was standing so close to him.  
“Good morning, Severus,” Greyback said rather gruffly as he lifted his head and proceeded to stand up. Severus was staring at Greyback trying to pre-empt the man’s next move, knowing that it was no accident that Greyback was currently in the grounds of Hogwarts.  
“I was hoping to find you here,” Greyback growled, very pleased with the situation he was in. “I see that we are far from the castle, that’s perfect, it will make my job a whole lot easier,” Greyback continued smiling and drawing out his wand.  
The absolute shock of seeing Greyback in the grounds seemed to have paralysed Severus. But he soon snapped out of it and without saying a word, Greyback and Severus began to duel more ferociously and spectacularly than ever before. Although both men were exhausted and in Severus’ case, injured, now that they were battling in an open area, spells were flying left, right and centre.

It seemed the battle would never end. Although neither were as healthy as they were the night they dueled at the Malfoy Manor, there was no doubt that both fighters were giving their all. With Severus’ experience in Occlumency and Legilimency and with Greyback’s new found skills also intact thanks to Draco, generally such duels could last for ages. Of course, Severus knew that Harry would have hopefully received his message by now and would shortly arrive at Hogwarts to assist in the eradication and, Severus was hoping, the death of Greyback. Although Greyback was particularly effective in the current duel, two against one would make it impossible for him to use Legilimency against both minds; Snape only hoped that Harry would arrive before it was too late.  
Severus had no idea how long he and Greyback had been battling, one would think that either wizard would have given up by now, or that Severus would have passed out from the huge amount of blood he was losing every moment he continued to battle. But Severus wasn’t giving up, though he was beginning to worry that Harry had not received his message or that, for some reason, Harry was unable to get into Hogwarts grounds. Greyback seemed to sense Severus’ anxiety and this only gave the werewolf more power over his opponent. Although the men had been silent for several minutes, Greyback felt the silence should finally be broken- to his advantage.  
“So, Severus, where’s Potter? I assume you called for him, didn’t you? After all, you are much too weak to take me on yourself!” Greyback yelled grinning; the men were about five metres apart.  
Severus didn’t answer, but continued to focus more of his energy on his attacks and Occlumency in the hope that this battle would be able to end sooner now that Gryeback was distracting himself with mindless talking.  
“Do you really think he’s coming, Severus? It has been fifteen minutes after all. I would think that the famous Harry Potter would be here by now,” Greyback growled, smiling his terrible grin, showing bloody teeth; obviously he had had a good feeding whilst he was a werewolf the previous night.  
Again Severus didn’t answer.  
“What’s wrong, Snape? Don’t you want to talk? I think having a conversation might lighten your life up a bit. After all, you wouldn’t want to die without saying a few last words would you?” Greyback sneered, watching the way Severus was forcing himself to remain silent.  
“Suit yourself,” Greyback barked at Severus, jumping to the right to miss one of Snape’s curses. “But I wouldn’t bother waiting for Potter. You should focus on killing me yourself, though in your current state, I doubt you could manage it,” Greyback yelled, laughing loudly.  
“Why are you even associating with Potter, Severus? If the Dark Lord were still around, he would be utterly disappointed in you. Although, from what I have heard, it seemed you didn’t care much for his opinion, loving that Mudblood Evans… I’m surprised the Dark Lord didn’t murder you for having such a disgusting attachment.”  
Severus could feel himself losing control, ever so slightly, but forced himself back to reality.  
He’s only saying this in the hope you will crack under the torment. Don’t give him that satisfaction, Severus thought to himself as he struggled to keep his temper and rage under control.  
“I am surprised at you, Severus. I thought for sure that would have distracted you and then my work here would be done. But it doesn’t matter; your mind is so tortured that it’s inevitable something I say will get to you in the end,” Greyback continued callously. Severus clenched his teeth and focused his mind more fully on the task at hand. He felt ill, but he knew he must go on, he just hoped that Harry wouldn’t be much longer.

*****

 

“What the?” Harry exclaimed as he was blinded by a silver glow as he opened his eyes to find Severus’ doe looking at him lying in bed.  
“Greyback is at Hogwarts. Come as soon as you can,” the doe said in Severus’ voice.  
Leaping out of bed, though trying not to wake Ginny, Harry sent his Patronus to Ron, telling him to spread the word to the other Aurors and to meet just outside of Hogwarts grounds as soon as possible.  
“Harry? What are you doing, sweetie? It’s 6 in the morning,” Ginny said wearily, yawning as she rubbed her eyes and looked up at her husband.  
“I know, Ginny, but I just received a message from Severus, Greyback is at Hogwarts.”  
“What?!” Ginny exclaimed, she too, leaping out of bed. “Are the children alright?” She asked, clearly panicking as she changed into her robes.  
“I’m not sure, but you should stay here with Lily. I have already sent my Patronus to Ron, we’re going to gather up as many Aurors as possible; it is about time Greyback was caught, I can’t believe I didn’t think of doing this sooner.”  
“Well we have tried to catch him before now,” Ginny pointed out, “we just never had a plan.”  
“True, but tonight will be different. I need to get to Hogwarts as soon as possible, but I must first contact Kingsley and other ministry officials to let them know what is happening. Perhaps Draco should know too,” Harry said as an afterthought.  
“Okay, but please make sure that the moment you know what is happening that you let me know,” Ginny said, and Harry could tell that his wife really wanted to come.  
“I promise I will contact you the minute I know something. I am sure if something serious had occurred, Severus would have told me via his Patronus.”  
Ginny nodded her head, looking pale.  
“It’s okay, Ginny,” Harry said smiling a little as he went to hug his wife, who gladly wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.  
“Please be careful, Harry,” she whispered.  
“I will, Ginny, I promise,” Harry whispered back, kissing her on the cheek.  
“Okay and make sure Severus and the kids are okay, god knows what kind of state Severus could be in once you arrive.”  
“I’m sure he’ll be fine Ginny, this is Severus we are talking about.”  
“I know,” said Ginny smiling slightly. “But just- be careful…”  
“I will,” Harry said, and squeezing Ginny’s hand tightly, he left number 12 Grimmauld Place and Apparated to the outskirts of Hogwarts.

Reappearing near Hogwarts castle, Harry looked around immediately, wondering if Severus and Greyback were nearby, but couldn’t hear any signs of a battle.  
Wishing that Ron would hurry up and get there with their back up, Harry fidgeted not knowing what to do with himself; he was seriously torn. Half of him wanted to rush into the grounds, find where Severus was and help the man incase he was in trouble, but the other half realised that if they were to capture the werewolf, it would need to be planned and done properly.  
After ten minutes, eleven people Apparated on every side of Harry. It wasn’t long before he spotted the flaming red hair of Ron Weasley who was standing four metres from him. Rushing up to his friend, Ron said:  
“Have you heard anything else?”  
“No, not a word from Severus, so the odds are they are still dueling. I have also checked the area around here and they are nowhere nearby.”  
“Okay,” Ron replied. “These are all the people I could contact.”  
Harry looked around at the ten other Aurors. “That’s more than enough,” Harry said.  
“Okay, everyone please listen up!” Harry shouted above the talking that was taking place.  
“Severus Snape has informed me that Greyback has somehow managed to get into Hogwarts grounds. We presume that Severus is currently dueling Greyback and so we must be careful that Greyback doesn’t have the opportunity to injure or kill any of us, including Severus. Our plan is to capture Greyback and we will do this with multiple stunning spells. Although Greyback seems reasonably skilled at Legilimency, I doubt he will be able to protect himself against ten stunners from ten of the most experienced Aurors on staff,” Harry said, looking around at his colleagues. “Ron and I will ensure the safety of Severus,” Harry paused to look quickly at Ron, who nodded, before continuing, “and your job is to hit and capture Greyback. If you don’t wish to stun, do whatever you wish to make him immobile, but do not kill him.”  
“Why can’t we kill him?” asked a young male Auror towards the front of the group.  
“I think it would be suitable to ask Greyback a few questions, interrogate him about any plans he may have underway before we kill him; he may have people working for him. Only Veritaserum would be able to give us such information, but to use such a tactic, he must first be captured,” Harry replied, looking at the young Auror.  
“So is everyone clear on what they have to do?” Harry asked the group at large, all of whom nodded and held the wands firmly in front of them.  
“Okay then, let’s go!” Harry shouted as he led the group into the grounds of Hogwarts.

Harry thought it would be easy to find where Severus and Greyback were dueling, but couldn’t see them anywhere. Walking towards Hagrid’s cabin, looking in all directions, Harry couldn’t understand why the two wizards would be dueling so far away from the castle. Finally, he spotted the pair in the distance and motioned silently for his fellows to come to where he was. Realising that they needed to catch Greyback by surprise, he pushed the Aurors to one side of Hagrid’s cabin so that they were hidden from both Severus’ and Greyback’s view.  
Harry could hear Greyback yelling something, but he couldn’t make out what. Hoping that Severus was okay for the moment, he whispered quickly to Ron and the others:  
“We need to take Greyback by surprise. On the count of three, we’ll cast the necessary spells, Ron and I will be aiming to protect Severus while the rest of you stun Greyback. On the count of three: One, two, three!” Harry yelled and together the twelve Aurors came from behind Hagrid’s hut and fired spells in two separate directions. But Harry’s incantation was only half way out of his mouth when he fell silent. Lying some hundred metres away was Severus’ motionless body, Greyback was crouching next to the man and was doing something that Harry couldn’t see.  
The sight before them was so unexpected that no one was acting, the other Aurors were waiting for Harry to give another order, but Harry couldn’t speak; he couldn’t take his eyes off Severus’ still, lifeless body.  
Eventually Ron took charge.  
“Stun him!” He yelled as ten red stunners headed straight for Greyback, who managed to leap out of the way just in time before sprinting towards the forest, the ten Aurors chasing after him into the dark depths.   
Ron watched the Aurors pursue Greyback, looking deeply concerned before turning to look at Harry, who still hadn’t moved or spoken since he gave the command for the original attack.  
“Harry?” Ron said, placing a hand onto his friend’s shoulder as if trying to break the man free of whatever he was feeling.   
“Come on, let’s go and see what- what’s happened,” Ron said quietly, knowing that not much good can come of what they were about to see. Walking towards Severus’ body, the black robes moving gently on the grass in the slight breeze, Harry felt the blood drain from his face as he looked into the dark eyes, reflecting the man’s shock, undoubtedly a reflection of his feelings as Greyback’s final spell came towards him.  
Kneeling down beside Severus, Harry allowed himself to succumb to gravity, dropping heavily onto the slightly damp grass and began to wallow in the huge, gaping emptiness that was threatening to consume him. If they hadn’t spent so much time planning- if he hadn’t had that last minute discussion with the Aurors- if only they were a minute sooner, Severus could have been spared. After so long, after so many years of resentment and anger, now that they had finally formed a relationship, why was Severus now taken from him?   
Harry still hadn’t spoken and Ron thought it best to let the man mourn for Severus. Looking over Harry’s head, having kneeled down beside Harry, Ron saw that the Aurors had come back empty handed; not only had Severus died, but they couldn’t even get revenge on Greyback. If Ron knew one thing for certain, it was that Harry would want vengeance.  
But Harry hadn’t noticed the Aurors returning and even if he had he wouldn’t have cared. Harry couldn’t believe Severus had died, just like that, just when he was so close by and could have prevented it.   
And before he could stop himself, Harry’s tears poured down his face and hearing his friend’s quiet sobs, Ron placed a comforting hand on Harry’s shoulder as he too stared at the motionless body that lay before them.  
“He was brave,” Ron whispered, to Harry, trying to comfort him. Looking up he noticed his colleagues keeping their distance and was sincerely grateful. “If it wasn’t for him, god knows what Greyback could have done. He may have even found one or both of the Deathly Hallows,” Ron whispered, making sure that no one else could hear.  
Sniffing, Harry said: “I know, but I would have preferred Greyback found them than- than-” Harry sobbed, unable to announce Severus’ death; he honestly would have preferred Greyback have both the Wand and the Stone if that meant that Severus was still alive.  
“I know, Harry, but he did us proud. He protected our children and the other students and kept Greyback at bay for a long time, it’s just really unfortunate that we were just seconds too late-”  
“It’s all my fault,” Harry whispered, no longer sobbing, but Ron could see tears continuing to fall down Harry’s face.  
“No it isn’t, mate,” Ron said.  
Harry stayed silent, wishing, hoping that perhaps somebody else could be blamed for Severus’ death, but he soon realised that he alone was at fault. Finally speaking, Harry told Ron:  
“I was going to talk to him about my mother. Something happened with the Resurrection Stone, I think he made a promise to her and- and he seemed to- I just- I wanted to talk to him but I chose not to because of the exams he was preparing for, because I thought he would refuse me. I chose not to talk to him for fear of rejection! He has rejected me most of my life, Ron! Why did I let that stop me? I could’ve spoken to him and may be I could have helped-”  
“But at least, he will be with your mother now,” Ron whispered.  
Harry nodded and tried to repress his sobs, but too much regret was filling him up. What was he going to tell Ginny and the kids? How was he going to get past this when he knew he was only seconds away from preventing the very thing that killed Severus? It would have been so easy if he hadn’t been so focused on capturing Greyback.  
Ron had no idea what to do, except place his arm around Harry and bring his friend towards him.  
“It’s okay, mate. Everything’s going to be okay,” Ron whispered as he stared at the motionless body that was Severus Snape.


	25. A part of being human

Time seemed to stand still.   
Harry had no idea how long he knelt on the grass simply staring into space, thinking- wishing, that everything were different, that he could go back in time.  
Ron was still staring at Severus’ body, but the shock of what had happened was wearing off and Ron began to move his eyes around; he began to wonder how this all happened in the first place; Snape seemed fine when they first arrived…  
Ron turned to look at Harry who was still staring into space and Ron felt for him, he knew how much Severus meant to Harry and although he never fully accepted Snape as his friend, Ron would never have wished death upon him.  
Looking back at the blank face of Severus, the pale skin, the long nose and the black eyes that were- moving?  
Ron gasped and stood up. This attracted Harry’s attention and although he couldn’t bring himself to speak, he looked up at Ron as if to say: What are you doing?  
But Ron took no notice as he continued to look into Severus’ eyes.  
Again he saw movement, but not only movement- emotion.  
Knowing there was only one curse that could cause such symptoms Ron extracted his wand, pointed it directly at Snape and mumbled the counter curse.  
Surprised by Ron’s sudden desire to use magic against Snape, Harry too, leapt up but instead of turning to Severus, turned to Ron and asked:  
“What the hell are you doing, Ron?” Harry was slightly angry that Ron had interrupted his train of thought and it was only when Ron’s expression changed from curiosity to worry that Harry turned around and almost passed out from what he saw.  
Although ill, injured and tired, Severus Snape was standing before him, clearly alive. Harry’s jaw dropped; he had no idea what just happened or what Ron had done- he just stared. Still holding his still intact wand in his hand, Severus walked between Harry and Ron, limping slightly and whispered:  
“Thank you, Mr Weasley,” as he continued to make his way ever so slowly towards the castle, his left hand held tightly to his chest.  
“Severus, I- wait Severus, are you okay?” Harry asked, about to sprint after his friend. Just as Harry was about to take his first step however, Ron stuck out his arm.  
“What are you doing?” Harry asked aggressively, staring at Ron.  
“Let him go,” Ron said gently.  
“No! He needs help, Ron!” Harry yelled, struggling to catch up with Severus.  
“Harry, calm down. We don’t know what happened between him and Greyback. He just had a huge duel; he would have been fighting for at least 30 minutes straight. He needs to rest-”  
“But he has to know how sorry I am for not-”  
“There will be an opportunity for you to tell him that,” Ron tried to reason with Harry.  
“No, what if something else happens? I have to tell him, I have to talk to him and ask him what happened this morning- and ask him how he is after talking to my mother-”  
“Harry, listen to me,” Ron said, grabbing the man’s shoulders and turning him around to face him. “Snape would have heard everything you said once we assumed he was dead. He would have known that you wanted to speak to him about your mother, would have known that you felt guilty for his apparent death. He knows okay?” Ron continued gently, hoping that Harry would finally listen to him.  
Slowly, Harry stopped trying to break free of Ron’s grip as he watched Snape make his way through the front doors to the castle.   
After coming back to his senses, Harry turned to his left to see the ten Aurors waiting patiently, some looking as shocked as Harry felt. Walking towards them, Harry said:  
“I apologise for bringing you all here tonight. Once I have spoken with Severus, I will be able to tell you what just happened…” Harry trailed off; he still hadn’t fully processed what he had just witnessed and desperately wanted to talk to Ron for a few moments before following Severus.  
“Thank you for being so patient. It’s a shame we couldn’t capture Greyback, we can only hope that the next time he decides to enter Hogwarts grounds, we will be ready. You may leave. Please tell Kingsley I will be late into work today. Thank you,” Harry said in his authoritative, however sincere tone. Watching his colleagues walk towards the outskirts of the grounds talking amongst themselves, Harry could feel himself become overwhelmed with emotion again; he needed to talk about this. Turning to face Ron, he spoke in quite the opposite tone to the one he was just using.  
“How did you know?” Harry asked. Ron didn’t need an explanation as to what Harry was referring to.  
“I looked at his eyes, they were moving,” Ron answered as if he were reliving the moment.  
“But- why didn’t I notice? I should have realised he was still alive. How could I have been so careless?” Harry wondered out loud.  
“It wasn’t your fault Harry. We all saw Snape lying on the ground and made the assumption that he was dead without giving it another thought. But it’s interesting that Greyback didn’t kill him; he was standing right next to Snape, he could have easily finished him off,” Ron pointed out.  
“But why would Greyback use Petrificus Totalus against Severus? Surely there are many other, more serious curses he could have used? But what even happened? When we arrived, Severus seemed fine and then…”  
“Yeah, well I guess that is something you’ll have to ask him Harry,” Ron said, truly curious about what happened between Snape and Greyback.  
Harry nodded. “I must speak to him,” Harry said suddenly and began walking towards the castle.  
“Harry, wait!” Ron said hurrying after him.  
“What now?”  
“Can we just talk about this for a second? We haven’t even discussed Greyback yet-”  
“Who cares about Greyback? Severus is alive, he is alive Ron and I am not waiting another moment, I have to speak with him.”  
“Harry, stop!” Ron yelled, grabbing Harry by the arm. Harry tried to free his limb, but Ron held on tightly.  
“Greyback, a notorious werewolf and murderer managed to enter Hogwarts grounds tonight, where our children go to school and you don’t care?” Ron said aggressively, looking intently at Harry. “Get a hold of yourself for a second, mate. Snape is fine, you can go into the castle in a moment and check up on him, but we need to discuss Greyback. I need to go to work and give Kingsley and the other Aurors an update and I think the least we can do is think about this for two seconds before you run after Snape. I know he means a lot to you, but there is more to tonight that Snape’s apparent death so snap out of it!” Ron said rather quickly, wanting to bring Harry back down to Earth. He was shocked that his friend seemed to be taking no interest in Greyback and realised just how much Harry cared for Severus, and how much the night’s events had stirred him.  
“Sorry,” Harry said, surprised by Ron’s sudden outburst.  
“Now, how do you think Greyback got in?” Ron asked, relieved Harry was paying attention.  
“I’m not sure, but perhaps Severus will know?”  
“I am sure he will, but what should I tell the ministry and the Aurors? I told them to run after Greyback, but for whatever reason he managed to escape from them. It’s a little disturbing actually,” Ron said in an off-hand way, “have you noticed how often he manages to escape from us? It is really strange that he evaded ten Aurors.”  
“Well perhaps that is something you could ask them later today, because I completely forgot to question them whilst they were here.”  
“Are you going to tell, assuming that Snape hasn’t done so already, McGonagall about what happened? Do you think the staff and students know how close Greyback was to reaching them?”  
“I doubt it, it was early in the morning when we arrived and although some people may have been awake doing some last minute study, most of them probably wouldn’t have taken the time to look beyond Hagrid’s Hut.”  
“I completely forgot the kids have exams today,” Ron said, astonished. “Well, I hope Snape will be well enough soon, perhaps your talk with him will have to wait Harry,” Ron said, already knowing that even if Snape was extremely busy, Harry wouldn’t take no for an answer.  
Sure enough, Harry replied accordingly: “He may be busy, but I am sure he is with Madam Pomfrey at the moment. So, if he is in the Hospital Wing for a majority of the day that will give me more than enough time to speak with him.”  
Although Harry seemed optimistic about the whole situation, Ron had his doubts. He could tell, from the way that Severus was looking up at him before he relieved him of the curse, that whatever Severus was feeling, it was deep and Ron doubted very much whether Snape would ever be willing to reveal that side of himself to Harry.  
Soon after, Ron departed for the Ministry and Harry made his way through the front oak doors. There were several students heading into the Great Hall for breakfast. Upon seeing Harry, most broke into little conversations with their friends, but Harry couldn’t care less and made his way towards the Hospital Wing, taking the stairs two at a time.   
Finally reaching the landing, Harry sprinted to the other end of the corridor and saw the door to the wing was shut. Harry knocked on the door gently with his knuckles and could hear footsteps beyond. Within seconds, Madam Pomfrey was peering through a crack in the door at Harry who said:  
“Madam Pomfrey, I need to speak to Severus, it’s urgent,” Harry said hurriedly, trying to look past Poppy to see where Severus was.  
“I’m sorry Harry, but I can’t allow you to enter,” Poppy replied solemnly.  
“No, seriously I must speak with him. Severus? Severus!” Harry called through the crack in door. “Please let me in!” Harry begged the matron.  
“I’m sorry, Harry, but perhaps if you came back in a few minutes,” the matron suggested kindly.  
“Is he okay?” Harry said, lowering his voice, realising that even if he didn’t get to speak to Severus right this moment, what truly mattered was that Severus was okay.  
“He will make a full recovery,” Poppy replied, though there was an essence of worry in her voice. Harry was about to ask what was bothering her and if there was something she wasn’t telling him when something distracted Poppy. She turned around, Harry strained his ears to hear what was happening beyond the door, but couldn’t hear a word.  
“I’m sorry, Harry, I need to go, come back in half an hour okay?” She said, closing the door gently on Harry.  
What was he going to do now? He knew there would be no point in him going to work until he spoke to Severus, so decided that he should tell McGongall what had happened, or at least, everything he knew about the situation.   
Harry turned and walked towards the headmistress’ office.   
Once he arrived at the griffin knocker, Harry knocked twice and waited for a reply, but there wasn’t one. Thinking that perhaps Minerva was organizing the students for their exams, Harry decided he would let himself in and wait for her return.  
Placing his hand on the polished, golden knob, Harry opened the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Good morning, Harry,” Dumbledore said brightly from his portrait. “Is Minerva expecting you?”  
“Um, no. Is she not here?” Harry asked, just to double check she truly was elsewhere.  
“Not she isn’t, I’m afraid. She is ensuring that all of the exams are smoothly underway. But she mentioned as she was leaving that one of the staff was unable to do his or her duties,” Dumbledore said a little concerned.  
“She must have been referring to Severus,” Harry said quietly.  
Dumbledore paused for a moment before answering. “Severus? What happened?”  
Harry took a seat in front of Minerva’s desk so that he was facing Dumbledore and told the old man what happened. Dumbledore never once interrupted him, but it was clear to Harry that he was severely worried, not so much for Severus but the fact that Greyback got so close to the school without anyone being able to detect him.  
Once Harry had finished, describing how Ron had eventually worked out that Snape was still alive, Dumbledore looked shocked.  
“Didn’t you check for a pulse when you found him?” Dumbledore asked.  
“Well, no, I just assumed the worst. I thought that Greyback would be aiming to kill Severus, especially considering the conversations they’ve had.”  
“What did Severus say once he was revived?” Dumbledore questioned, extremely curious.  
“Not much… he said thanks to Ron and then walked up to the castle. I tried to call after him but he didn’t turn back. Professor-” Harry said suddenly, not being able to contain himself any longer. “Why was I so stupid? I am an Auror, I should have been more attentive to the possibility that he was still alive. What if I had left him there? What if Ron wasn’t with me?”  
“Ahh, what emotions do to the very best of us,” Dumbledore sighed gently, looking intently at Harry. “Emotion, as Lord Voldemort and even Severus have always said, is a weakness to possess. It distracts us from what really matters and it seems that you have proven their concerns this morning,” Dumbledore said kindly.  
Harry knew that it was the fact that he cared for Severus which caused him to not even consider the possibility that he was still alive. But when emotions get the better of you, Harry realised, nothing except your own loss seems to matter; your regrets consume you and for those like Severus and Voldemort, such silly mistakes have never caused them the fight.  
“I- I was right there, Dumbledore. I could have stopped it from happening. If I just didn’t waste time! It was so stupid of me!”  
“There is no use in blaming yourself Harry. It has happened, and whatever Severus was feeling at the time, emotionally and physically, is something we will probably never know.”  
Harry stared at Dumbledore in disbelief.  
“Are you crazy? I tried to see Severus only moments ago and Poppy told me to come back later. So here I am bidding time until I can go and see Severus and ask him what happened. You should have seen him Dumbledore, I just- I just can’t believe what happened. I was so sure he was dead…”  
Dumbledore seemed to be deep in thought.  
“I do not think it was Poppy who did not want you to enter. I think it was Severus,” Dumbledore said slowly.  
“Well, I suppose he may not be in the mood to talk right now, after everything that-”  
“I am simply speculating, but I do not think Severus would ever let you in to visit him,” Dumbledore interrupted gently.  
“What do you mean? Of course he’s going to want to talk about it! We have to know what happened with Greyback! How did he even get in?” Harry said almost in a panicked tone.  
“That, I am not sure of Harry as there are several possibilities, though I have no doubt that Severus will have some idea. There is much we don’t know about the situation but-”  
“You still think Severus is not going to want to see me,” Harry completed for him.  
“Correct,” Dumbledore said calmly, without any further explanation.  
Harry didn’t fully know what was coming over him, but suddenly he felt angry or perhaps it was worry that was threatening to take over. He looked intently at Dumbledore before asking:  
“And what exactly makes you think that Severus would not want to talk to me?” Harry asked rather defensively.  
Dumbledore paused, interlocking his fingers together and placing them in his lap as if preparing for a long conversation to ensue:   
“Because you are you and he is Severus,” Dumbledore said simply.  
“And exactly what does that mean?” Harry asked, completely at a loss as to what Dumbledore was implying.  
Dumbledore took a deep breath and continued: “I know this may not make sense to you now, but seeing as I have known Severus longer than you have, I wish to remind you that although he and yourself are currently on friendly terms, that does not mean he will be honest with you, nor does that imply he will be willing to talk to you,” Dumbledore reasoned quietly to a now furious Harry, though he tried very hard to keep his temper.  
“Correct me if I am wrong, Dumbledore, but didn’t you tell me only a week ago to look out for Severus and help him in anyway I can, something of which you were never able to do when you were alive?” Harry asked in a raised voice  
“I will not deny it; I said that very thing to you not long ago and I meant every word of   
it-”  
“So why are you now suggesting that I not even try to talk to him?!” Harry yelled.  
“Harry, I am not suggesting any such thing, I am merely trying to point out that although you may be willing to help Severus and listen to everything he has to say, he may not be willing to open up to you-”  
“And correct me if I’m wrong, Professor, but wasn’t it your fault that he became that way?” Harry said aggressively, staring into the bright blue eyes which now seemed concerned.  
“Harry…” Dumbledore began, as if trying to find the words to say what he was feeling. “I am deeply sorry for what I did, for encouraging Severus to ignore his feelings and focus on the task at hand. I did not wish it for him, yet I cannot deny that even if I knew the consequences of my actions, I still would have done the very same thing. But Severus was never one to talk, even before his Death Eater days. And although my wishing for him to learn Occlumency wouldn’t have helped matters, he never once seemed inclined to talk to me about his feelings, even after he became a sufficient Occlumens,” Dumbledore said seriously, realising that Harry was becoming extremely agitated.  
Harry was nearing boiling point.  
“No offense Dumbledore, but even if Severus wanted to talk to you there is no way he would have, so I am not surprised. Even me, who so often wishes to talk about my emotions wouldn’t have bothered you with such things-”  
“And may I ask why?” Dumbledore interjected, extremely interested to see what other accusations Harry was about to lay before him.  
Harry felt like shouting at the man, but decided to think about what he wished to say instead of simply yelling without any thought behind his words.  
“Dumbledore, I have a great respect for you- I do. I named my son after you and it makes me so proud to honour you as a member of my family, so to speak. When I was a student I considered you a brilliant, amazing wizard, but,” Harry paused for emphasis, “you had a plan and you did whatever you had to for that plan to succeed. I know and you will never hear me deny it that what you did and the plan you had was brilliant, it worked and if it weren’t for you Voldemort may still be with us. But your skills, excellent mind and extensive use of magic came at a heavy price, and that is empathy. I understand that everyone has their faults and this happens to be yours. You did care about me and you did care about Severus, but you cared about your plan more and that’s okay, that is what had to be done and you completed your plan to perfection, Dumbledore. But Severus-”  
“Was someone I wanted to help, if he had any concerns or wanted to talk-”  
“Don’t lie to me, Dumbledore! You know as well as I that had Severus come to you one day and wished to talk to you about Lily you would not have spent hours at a time listening to him and helping him. Your concern would be for him to move on or at least suppress as many thoughts as possible so that he could continue being your spy! But me? I don’t care if he kicks me out of the hospital wing or if he yells at me or swears at me or even curses me! The fact is that I care about him! I would spend days if that’s what it took, for Severus to tell me everything he was feeling and thinking. And even if he won’t say two words about what happened tonight I will not rest until he knows that I would listen to everything he had to say if given the chance. It is the least he deserves. If he doesn’t wish to talk to me, fine! At least he’d know that I am around if he ever wants to talk which is more than you ever did!” Harry yelled.  
“I was around,” Dumbledore said quietly.  
“Of course you were around, but you didn’t care, Dumbledore! As far as I know, you never asked him if he was okay, if he needed any help. You only concerned yourself with his problems if they affected the way he was working!”  
“Severus always worked perfectly, there was never any sign that he-”  
“Of course there wasn’t! Even if he had problems, he would just push them aside because he knew he had no one to talk to. The only person that could have potentially leant an ear was you but he knew where your priorities lay so he didn’t bother-”  
“Are you certain about this, Harry?” Dumbledore interjected; he too was becoming angry.  
“No, but I-“  
“Do not make assumptions about things you do not know,” Dumbledore said sternly.  
“These aren’t assumptions, they’re obvious, Dumbledore! Look, I don’t mean to offend you in anyway, I am simply saying that just because he didn’t talk to you doesn’t mean he won’t talk to me,” Harry finished more calmly, realising that perhaps he went a little too far.  
“Harry, you must remember who you are,” Dumbledore said more calmly too.  
“How can I forget?” Harry replied aggressively.  
“You are Lily and James’ son,” Dumbledore said quietly.  
“I am well aware of who my parents are, Dumbledore,” Harry said through gritted teeth.  
“Whatever Severus is feeling, if it is anything to do with your parents, you know he will not discuss it with you,” Dumbledore reasoned, still staring avidly at Harry.  
“How do you know?”  
“Because I know Severus, Harry. He does not wish to talk about his feelings, least of all to you, I am sure.”  
“So why on earth did you tell me to look after him a week ago when you believe that he won’t talk to me anyway?” Harry said, his temper rising once more.  
“Because I do want you to look after him, but from afar-”  
“Are you crazy! You want me to do what you did to me? Watch him like a hawk, follow his every move but never talk to him? Never ask how he is or allow him to express his feelings if he wishes? After everything he has been through I am not about to be another person who watches him from afar. I want to be his friend, Dumbledore, not his guardian!”  
“And I respect that Harry, but he will not talk to you-”  
“If not me, then someone else! I will go half way around the world to find someone he will talk to, anyone at all; I just want him to be happy. Is that such a terrible thing?” Harry yelled at Dumbledore.  
“No, of course it isn’t Harry, it is a truly amazing thing that you wish to do for Severus, especially considering the past you two have had. But just don’t be surprised if he refuses to see you,” Dumbledore said calmly as if that settled the matter.  
“So what do you propose I do, then? Leave him? Never speak to him? Give up?!” Harry shouted.  
“I believe Severus is incapable of describing his emotions so, it will be almost pointless to ask him how he feels,” Dumbledore said simply.  
“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Harry screamed, slamming his fist down on the table and making Dumbledore as well as several other portraits jump in fright. “I don’t care if he can’t tell me how he is feeling. You don’t get it, Dumbledore! It’s not about me being curious about his feelings; I just want to help him in any way I can. If he wants to speak to Lucius about it, I will get him, if he wants to speak to Minerva, I’ll fetch her within seconds, I don’t care if I don’t get to hear what he has to say as long as he speaks to someone about how he is feeling, because I think he really needs to talk after so many years of keeping to himself.”  
“Severus doesn’t need to talk about how he feels, Harry-”  
“Just because you were a detached, unfeeling person who doesn’t consider the wellbeing of anyone unless they have a direct influence on your plans, doesn’t mean that everyone else is the same as you, Dumbledore! I can’t say for sure if Severus wants to talk about how he feels, but neither can you! The only person who knows is Severus and unlike you I am going to make the effort to ask! And even if he won’t confide in me at least I tried!” Harry yelled, angry tears in his eyes.  
“Calm down, Harry,” Dumbledore tried to persuade him.  
“No! I will not calm down! You say you know him-”  
“Are you suggesting that you know him better than I?” Dumbledore said, peering over his half moon spectacles, both interested and surprised by Harry’s implication.  
“I may not have known him as long as you, but-”  
“Well then, how could you know him better?” Dumbledore pressed on, smiling a little. Harry could tell their conversation was amusing the man greatly and this only increased his anger still more.  
“You weren’t around when I saw the memories Severus gave me all those years ago just before Voldemort was defeated. Whilst in the Pensieve I saw the way he acted towards my mother and clearly there was something there, feelings that we BOTH know he had. But unlike you, I could tell that he enjoyed talking, he would’ve told Lily anything. The way she spoke to him, praised him and always questioning him about the wizarding world created such happiness in Severus that I have never seen before- that’s right Dumbledore, he was happy TALKING to someone!”  
“Lily was an exception,” Dumbledore said quietly.  
“But is it so hard for you to believe that I could be yet another exception?” Harry shot back.  
“Of course it is possible, Harry, but-”  
“Severus is Severus and I’m Harry Potter,” Harry finished in a mocking tone.  
“Correct, and trust me I would be delighted if Severus chooses to reveal his feelings and thoughts to you, but do not be surprised if he refuses you. Although you are undoubtedly Lily’s son, Severus cared for her and trusted her implicitly, and there was never anyone else he confided in except her.”  
“You may be right, but I think of a greater interest to both of us at the moment should be why you feel so strongly that he will not confide in me. Perhaps you feel that if he did, then that would make you feel even more guilt for never questioning him about his feelings whilst you were alive. Although you used him in your plan like you used me, just because I yelled and argued with you doesn’t make me any more human than him! You don’t want him to talk to me because that means he may have talked to you if you had simply given him the chance. This isn’t about what you know or who Severus is, this is about you and your guilt- about who Severus could have been had you taken the time!”  
“Harry, I-”  
“It is you who is detached- you won’t talk about your feelings and that’s okay, you are perfectly entitled to remain silent, but don’t you dare portray such traits upon Severus of whom you may have been around for many years but never truly knew,” Harry yelled, breathing quickly; he felt like a child again, as if he just got back from the Department of Mysteries in his fifth year, except now he was arguing with Dumbledore about something entirely different.  
“Harry, you are right, absolutely right. I wish you every luck when you return to the hospital wing and visit Severus. I sincerely hope that he speaks to you and that you not only discover more about Greyback, but Severus, a man you clearly care about and someone I neglected. I have always been a very private person and only told people the things they needed to hear. As you saw during what should have been your seventh year, you know of my past and what I went through. Clearly my past has haunted me too, the memory I was forced to relive in the cave is an example. You, me and Severus, we are all human, but express it in different ways: one is healthy the other is debatably worse. I chose the detrimental route as has Severus, but he, unlike myself has the opportunity to change that and I hope you will be able to encourage him to release the built up emotion he clearly has inside. I wish you luck, Harry,” Dumbledore finished kindly and with such sincerity that Harry didn’t know what to say in reply.  
Finally Harry found his words: “After you died, I regretted never asking you anything about yourself. You knew so many things, like how to speak four different languages, including English, how you seemed to just know what would happen and who would be involved. You clearly had extraordinary wisdom and magical power. I have no doubt that if you made the choice you could have easily defeated Voldemort in battle, even without the possession of the Elder Wand. You had magic beyond anything anyone else could imagine and although Voldemort had extensive dark knowledge, so must you have, otherwise he wouldn’t have feared you so much. This is what I knew about you Dumbledore, this is what I admired and yet, as I sat at your funeral I remember wishing I could ask you about your family, about who you were as a person, but regrettably I never had that chance. I am so sorry about what happened in your past, about Ariana and Grindelwald, but you put it past you and remained so noble, the complete opposite of who you were when you were friends with Grindelwald. I respect you so much for that. And perhaps you and Severus are not so different after all; you were both traumatized by what happened to your loved ones and I am sorry you had no one to talk to about it. But you do know, I hope, that many people would have taken the time: Minerva, myself, and Severus as well as many others; we all would have listened, but you never wished for us to know, perhaps because you were ashamed of what you may or may not have done all those years ago. I know how painful emotions can be, the things you feel when you are mad, upset or mourning are terrible and it makes it that much better when you are able to discuss your feelings with somebody. I remember when Sirius died, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I felt so isolated and yet I knew that Ron and Hermione especially, wanted to discuss it. But they gave me space and I have every intention of giving Severus space, but I do not want him being trapped within his own body, like I once was. I don’t want Severus hating the fact that he is human, because that is honestly the worst feeling-”  
“I know,” Dumbledore said so quietly that if Harry hadn’t seen Dumbledore’s mouth move he wouldn’t have noticed.   
The demeanor that Dumbledore now took as he continued to look at Harry from his frame was unlike anything Harry had ever seen before, and he knew that there was more to ‘I know’ than simply an attempt at comfort.  
“You know?” Harry said, quietly back, wondering if Dumbledore was about to give him details.  
Dumbledore nodded. “I fought a terrible battle against my best friend, and was part of the duel that killed my lovely, younger sister. There was a time when I wished I wasn’t human either. So when I said in your fifth year that I understood how you felt, you now know that I was being honest, though at the time, I didn’t elaborate,” Dumbledore explained as if the matter was some scientific fact.  
“What- what kind of relationship did you have with Grindelwald, Dumbledore? I know he was a really powerful wizard like you and that you both sought to rule the world with your power, but were you good friends?” Harry asked, now that they were on the track of Dumbledore’s past, they might as well stay there.  
But for the first time, Dumbledore showed signs of weakness and Harry wondered, as Dumbledore rested his head in his hands, whether he had gone too far.  
“It sounds terrible when you put it like that Harry. We were both very intelligent and we became caught up in our abilities. We had grand ideas- even brilliant ideas, but we never sought to hurt anyone. It was actually Grindelwald’s plan, not mine. But I went along with it because he meant a lot to me,” Dumbledore said sorrowfully as if he was reminiscing about the times he would spend locked up in a room making schemes and conversing with Grindelwald about his plans.  
“When you say ‘he meant a lot to you’, were you just friends?” Harry asked hesitantly.  
“I was his friend, but he was more than a friend to me,” Dumbledore said as he lifted his head and looked at Harry; there was no mistaking his true meaning.  
“So, you’re gay?” Harry asked in disbelief, though it did explain some things.  
“Yes, Harry,” Dumbledore said still looking at him without any ounce of shame or regret.  
“Wow, I had no idea. So you, um loved Grindelwald?” Harry asked quietly, not wanting to offend Dumbledore if he didn’t.  
“I guess you could say that. I never thought I would meet someone who matched me on almost every level and yet, Grindelwald was that type of person and I was, should we say, swept up in his talent and ideas. I so wanted to impress him that I completely forgot about the people we were hurting. That is something I truly regret,” Dumbledore said seriously.  
“And you dueled him in the end? And won?”  
“Yes, the wizarding world was in complete disarray. By this time I had let go of Grindelwald, or at least tried to. He never knew of my feelings, but I think he suspected that I cared for him more than he cared for me. Eventually the letters, telegrams and messages were becoming overwhelming, it seemed that the whole wizarding world was united in the same opinion: that I should be the one to defeat Grindelwald. You will recall that Grindelwald had the Elder Wand at the time. Before the duel began, I asked him to stop what he was doing but he wouldn’t listen to me, he was too carried away in his power. Unfortunately I had to be the one to bring him back to reality. I knew he was guilty, but I still couldn’t bring myself to stop him, I still loved him and didn’t want to hurt him. I knew that if I could obtain his wand, then he could be stopped and as you know, that is what I did.”  
“So you didn’t kill him?”  
“No I couldn’t have, even if they asked me. Love makes fools of us all, Harry,” Dumbledore said smiling a little.  
“And- and your sister?”  
“Ariana… we still do not know who it was that killed her, but regardless, it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. She was damaged, yes, but she was getting better, especially with Aberforth’s efforts. It was a tremendous tragedy. I never forgave myself for that and I don’t think Aberforth has either.”  
“I’m so sorry,” Harry said.  
Then Dumbledore smiled as if remembering something. “I had the opportunity to talk to Ariana actually, just before you started your sixth year at Hogwarts.”  
“You did?” Harry asked, delighted that Dumbledore at least had some sort of closure with his sister.  
“Yes,” Dumbledore replied, still smiling. “She is okay and perfectly happy and much better now- I mean that she is her normal self. Although she still looks like the Ariana I knew, she was mentally healthy. In other words the terrible things those muggle boys did to her, no longer afflicted her.”  
“How could you still think so highly of Muggles after what those boys did? If my sister was tortured into insanity by Muggles, I wouldn’t be eager to think highly of them.”  
“Ahh, Harry. As you know very well, one bad or perhaps a few bad wizards does not make all wizards bad and that’s the same with Muggles. Admittedly, immediately after it happened, I never would have imagined I would be so accepting of them in the future, but thankfully I moved on rather quickly; there is no point in holding a grudge.”  
“Did you use the Resurrection Stone the moment you found it at the Gaunt’s house?”  
“I am delighted you have such a profound memory, Harry,” Dumbledore said, impressed that Harry remembered, though Harry found it hard to forget. “Yes, I used it almost immediately; the anticipation was overwhelming; I had simultaneously destroyed a Horcrux and obtained a Deathly Hallow. I could not resist the temptation. Of course, it would have been preferable if I had removed the terrible curse that Voldemort placed upon the ring, before I sought to use it. That was a failing of commonsense,” Dumbledore said chuckling to himself. Harry couldn’t help but laugh.

Suddenly the door burst open as a very harassed looking Professor McGonagall entered and for a moment she didn’t even notice Harry sitting opposite her desk.  
“Students talking left, right and centre, couldn’t get them to calm down. I now have Hagrid covering for Severus, seeing as his exams do not begin until tomorrow. And I-  
Oh, Potter. I didn’t see you there. I suppose, seeing as Poppy didn’t allow me entry, that you will be able to tell me what happened to Severus this morning?” Minerva demanded as if it was all Harry’s fault her morning was hectic.  
Harry turned to face Minerva and told her what he knew and once he had finished, Minerva no longer seemed angry but disturbed and worried.  
“I had no idea… how could I not have known what happened? The students could have been in grave danger. If it wasn’t for Severus… I really need to go back to the hospital wing and apologise for yelling at him through the crack in the door,” McGonagall said, a worried look on her face.  
“You were mad with him?” Harry asked hesitantly; he knew that was something Severus could have done without.  
“Yes, because no one would tell me what was happening! Poppy refused to tell me what happened and I couldn’t even see Severus. It is extremely frustrating when your week starts off in this terrible way. But of course, Severus, my goodness, what on earth happened?”  
“Couldn’t he have been distracted or made a mistake?” Harry asked uncertainly.  
“Not the Severus Snape I know,” Minerva answered back. “It would be interesting to know what occurred. Whatever happened, I do hope he makes a full recovery and soon.” Minerva concluded and then paused, staring at Harry. “I completely forgot to ask why you were in my office in the first place, Potter. Were you just going to tell me about Severus and Greyback?”  
“Yes, because like you, Poppy wouldn’t let me into the Hospital Wing to see Severus, she said to come back in half an hour which is-” Harry paused to look at his watch.  
“An hour and a half ago! I better go and see him before Madam Pomfrey comes up with another excuse to keep me out,” Harry said hurriedly making his way to the door.  
“Oh I don’t think it is her that doesn’t want your company, but Severus; he probably told her not to allow anyone in under any circumstance,” Minerva pointed out.  
“Well, that’s all about to change,” Harry said with confidence. But then remembering who he was conversing with before Minerva arrived, Harry turned to Dumbledore’s portrait, which was smiling and surveying Harry with his blue eyes.  
“I’m really sorry, Professor Dumbledore, for everything you went through. I had no idea…” Harry said with remorse and finally, some understanding.  
“It does not matter any longer, Harry,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. “We must remember that I am no longer alive and yet there is someone in the hospital wing who greatly needs your help, whether or not he accepts it is irrelevant. I wish you the best of luck, Harry,” Dumbledore said sincerely.  
“Thank you, Dumbledore. I’ll keep in touch,” he said looking at Minerva who nodded, though a little confused by Dumbledore and Harry’s parting words to each other as Harry left the room and ran to the hospital wing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

Skidding to a halt outside the Hospital Wing, Harry again knocked on the door determined that no matter what Madam Pomfrey may say, he would force his way in there until he had the chance to speak to Severus. Thankfully, Poppy came to the door quickly and again opened the door slightly to see who was there.  
“Oh, hello Harry,” Poppy said kindly.  
“Hi, I’m back a bit later than I thought I would be, but I’m here. Can I come in?” Harry asked, already trying to push past her so he could see Severus.  
“I’m afraid not, Harry,” Poppy said solemnly.  
“Why, is something wrong? Is it dangerous for me to enter?” Harry demanded, wanting to know if it was for medical reasons that he wasn’t allowed to enter, or because Severus wasn’t willing to talk with him.  
“No, it’s just…” she paused and looked behind her. “Severus asked me to not let anyone in,” She whispered apologetically.  
Dumbledore and Minerva were right, Harry thought to himself.  
“Well tell Severus that I am not leaving Hogwarts until I get the opportunity to see him,” Harry said calmly.  
“I don’t think that will convince him,” Poppy said sadly, looking behind her again.  
“Please, please let me in. I know he’ll be mad at you, but you can say I cursed you or pushed you aside or something. I promise to take all the blame. If he becomes worse because of my presence I promise to leave. I really want to see him,” Harry implored looking at Poppy with hope coursing through his body.  
Poppy sighed. “I know I shouldn’t disobey the wishes of my patients, but I must say that I disagree with Severus on this one.” And then lowering her voice still lower, she continued: “He’s not himself.”  
Harry stared at Poppy momentarily before replying.   
“What do you mean? What happened when he arrived?” Harry asked, severely concerned.  
Poppy moved aside quietly to let Harry in and then shut the door silently. Hidden away from Severus’ view, Poppy continued in barely a whisper.  
“He walked straight to the hospital wing, thankfully no students were about, called for me, lay on the bed and has hardly said anything to me except that he didn’t want any visitors.”  
“Isn’t- isn’t that what Severus would normally do?” said Harry uncertainly.  
Poppy smiled a little; she had forgotten that Harry had never known Severus before now.  
“Severus rarely gets injured during battle. As a matter of fact, I think there has only been once when he has come to me for assistance because of an injury. Dumbledore was with me at the time. Although Severus was in no state to help himself, he insisted he do it on his own. I remember giving him the medication, but there were specific instructions to it. I asked if he needed help but he down right refused, saying he could do it himself. As far as I know, he has never asked anyone for help when he has been injured. But tonight, he didn’t even suggest he mend his injuries, he simply lay there and didn’t even question my methods like he usually does. I know it sounds mundane, but Severus was never like that; he was always in control.”  
“Is Severus injured?” Harry asked, realising Severus must have been injured whilst dueling that morning, otherwise she wouldn’t have mentioned it.  
“Yes, didn’t you know he was scratched by what I can only assume was a werewolf?”  
“What?” Harry yelled, completely forgetting to keep quiet. Realising he had blown his cover, Harry walked out from behind the wall, expecting to see Severus looking in his general direction. Instead, he saw a skinny, pale man lying face up on the white bed, staring transfixed at the ceiling. Harry cautiously approached Severus, he could feel Poppy watching him and realised that etched deeply into Severus’ bare chest were several scratch marks. Harry felt ill. How could he not have realised Severus was so badly hurt?  
Walking slowly back to Poppy he asked her quietly: “He didn’t tell you what happened?”  
“No, he simply took off his shirt and lay there without so much as a word of explanation,” Poppy said as if she couldn’t believe it herself.  
“Why is he staring at the ceiling?” Harry asked, gravely concerned.  
“I’m not sure, but from what I can gather, he is deep in thought.”   
“About what?” Harry questioned, extremely interested though very worried.  
“I suppose he is thinking about what happened this morning, but again, I have no idea,” Poppy asserted. “I think I will leave you to talk with him, I’ll be in my office if you need me,” Poppy finished quietly as she practically tip toed to her office, not wanting to attract Severus attention.  
“What is he doing in here, Poppy?” Severus said suddenly, not taking his eyes away from the ceiling, though he could still see the matron out of the corner of his eye. “I told you not to let anyone in,” Severus continued in a commanding voice that was empty of all emotion.  
“I know Severus, but Harry insisted upon seeing you and he pushed past me-”  
“Don’t lie to me,” Severus continued in such a cold tone, that even Harry began to wonder whether now was such a good time.  
Severus needs your help, even if he isn’t showing it.  
“I’m sorry Severus, but-”  
“Escort him out,” Severus commanded, still not taking his eyes off the ceiling.  
“Severus?” Harry said cautiously, indicating to Poppy that he would take it from here.   
“Please don’t be angry with Madam Pomfrey, I begged her to let me see you. I know you don’t want to see anyone-”  
“Then why are you here?” Severus asked, still looking at the ceiling as if his life depended on it.  
“Because I just wanted to find out how you were and to tell you how sorry I am-”  
“I heard what you said in the grounds when you thought I was dead. I accept your apology, now leave,” Severus said in a monotonous tone which Harry realised was so unlike the man he remembered even whilst he was his professor.  
“Severus, are you okay?” Harry asked quietly, making to sit down next to Severus’ bed.  
As if the motion triggered something in Severus’ mind, the man turned his neck sharply and stared at Harry straight in the eyes, causing Harry to leap up off the chair; he was not expecting Severus to look at him after staring at the ceiling for so long.  
The two men stared at each other and Harry knew, he just knew that something was wrong with Severus- not physically but emotionally and whatever it was that Severus was feeling, Harry told himself right there and then that he wasn’t going to leave until he helped Severus through it.  
Harry slowly moved towards the chair again, keeping a close eye on Severus, who had stopped staring at Harry and was now staring upward once again. Harry felt really uncomfortable, though he supposed Severus did too. He knew he wasn’t wanted, but at the same time, he really wanted Severus to know he was there for him.  
“What happened this morning?” Harry asked quietly, unsure if Severus would even answer.  
“Isn’t it obvious,” Severus hissed in such a tone that Harry was taken aback, having become good friends with Severus he had forgotten what Severus sounded like he was mad; he didn’t like it.  
“Well, Poppy believes you were attacked by a werewolf, which is why you have these gashes on your chest,” Harry said, staring at Snape’s torso. “Is she correct?” Harry continued as if nothing happened.  
“Yes,” Severus answered without so much as an explanation.  
“Um, was it Greyback?”  
“Obviously,” Snape said as he continued to stare into space.  
“I know you’re tired and have had a huge battle, but please don’t treat me like an idiot; I just want to help, there’s no need to be rude, Severus,” Harry said in what he hoped was a sincere tone, though he doubted Severus would see it that way. “Please tell me what happened,” Harry continued gently.  
Still staring into nothingness, Snape began in a monotonous tone, speaking quickly as if saying it faster would make the night’s experiences have a lesser toll on him.  
“Your niece and Mr Malfoy came to me last night saying that Miss Weasley saw something in the forest. I told her it was nothing to worry about and that I would investigate the following morning with Hagrid. I woke up early this morning, so I decided to search the forest. I didn’t find anything unusual until I came across a werewolf which chased me out of the forest. Thinking it had ended its pursuit I stopped and turned around. It scratched me, but luckily the moon set and the werewolf transformed into Greyback. I sent my Patronus to you and then dueled until you arrived.” Snape stopped abruptly and said no more.  
“Why didn’t you tell me you were injured?” Harry asked, hurt that Severus went through so much and said so little to him.  
“What difference would it have made, Potter? I was on my way to the hospital wing, I saw no point in telling you; it would have only led to more questions-”  
“Which you knew I was going to ask anyway,” Harry retorted, though he tried not to sound too frustrated.  
“What do you want?” Snape snapped at Harry; clearly Severus wanted this conversation to end as soon as possible.  
“I want to know many things, Severus. Like, what distracted you tonight? You were fine when we arrived, did you just make a mistake or-”  
“I was surprised by your arrival with so many Aurors, it distracted me for only a second, which gave Greyback the chance to attack me,” Severus mumbled sourly.  
But Harry wasn’t sure Severus was being entirely truthful.  
“Are you- are you sure that’s what distracted you? Only- I just didn’t think something like that would startle you so much,” Harry said quietly, not wanting to get Severus mad.  
“Of course I’m sure,” Severus announced to the ceiling.   
“Okay, um do you know why Greyback wasn’t trying to kill you?”  
“No,” Severus replied shortly.  
“Do you know how Greyback got in?”  
“The protections around the castle don’t prevent creatures entering the forest, Greyback’s werewolf form allowed him to get in.”  
Harry never thought of this and yet, it was quite obvious. Remembering that Scorpius and Rose had something to do with the morning events, he said:  
“It was lucky Rose saw Greyback.”  
Snape remained silent.  
“Okay, so tell me the truth, what really distracted you this morning?” Harry pressed on, praying he wasn’t going too far.  
“Do you think I have a reason to lie to you?” Severus asked turning to face Harry again, the pain and emotion still plain in his eyes.  
“Yes,” Harry replied simply.  
“What makes you so sure?” Severus argued back, staring into Harry’s eyes.  
“By the way you are looking at me-”  
“Don’t tell me you can do Legilimency because I-”  
“No, I can just tell. When Ron released you from the body bind curse, I could tell by the way you looked at me that something was wrong, and I am not leaving until you tell me what really happened.”  
Severus wasn’t expecting this. Never before, at least from his recollection had his eyes, face or any other part of his body portrayed his feelings to an outsider. This left Severus feeling quite vulnerable and he hated the feeling.  
“Please talk to me,” Harry said quietly, looking into Severus’ eyes, wanting him to know how much he cared.  
Snape said nothing, but Harry saw his Adam’s apple moved slightly and knew the man had gulped. Excited that perhaps he was going to find out something of Severus’ emotional state, Harry smiled, hoping to encourage Severus to begin.  
“You really want to know the whole, sad, pathetic tale?” Severus said harshly, looking back at Harry.  
Harry nodded, keenly interested now; Severus really was going to talk to him.  
Turning away from Harry and resuming to his examination of the ceiling, Severus began:  
“As you know I was not popular when I was at school. I always wished that one day when Potter or Black dueled me that I would beat them, but the things they used to yell at me always distracted me from what I was meant to be doing. I never won against them because I let what they said affect me. Once I became a Death Eater I vowed to never let people’s words influence the way I behave. I forced myself to ignore the pleas from my victims and the provocations from my enemies. I blocked it all out. When I turned against the Dark Lord, Dumbledore was delighted, I suppose, that I already made the decision to ignore what others said to me, it made learning Occlumency that much simpler. But my memories could not be ignored so easily. Dumbledore did persuade me to forget my feelings and push them aside as best I could. And I suppose it was at that moment that I learnt to not pay any attention to how I felt. I remained at Hogwarts as a teacher and taught students without the slightest anger or contempt towards them. Every student thought I was emotionally empty, which I undoubtedly was. But when you came to Hogwarts, I remember Dumbledore asking me if I needed time to adjust to you being there. I was expecting you to attend of course, but the knowledge never prepared me for your appearance. Emotions that I knew existed, but ones I had not even thought about for years entered my mind and suddenly, I found myself losing control, showing my absolute hatred of you whenever you were present. It may have seemed, at the time that I enjoyed it, but in truth, I wished I could have stopped. I wasn’t able to keep my emotions in check and that worried me- and Dumbledore; how was I supposed to protect you if I couldn’t even act in such a way that would encourage you to trust me? As you know, I failed miserably in that regard and until the night the Dark Lord was defeated you thought me as the vengeful, disloyal and cruel man I always portrayed to you. As we know, it worked out anyway and you didn’t need me as much as Dumbledore thought you may have, which we were both grateful for. I gave you my memories, the very dark secrets of my past that no one except Dumbledore knew of. Then I believed for nineteen years that followed that you had rejected what I knew to be honest and true. But as I have been around you and your family, I have found it harder and harder to remain emotionally detached. And that has become a problem,” Severus said, pausing for a moment.  
Harry could sense where this was going, but had no inclination to interrupt or ask questions, he couldn’t believe how much Severus was willing to tell him.  
Taking a deep breath, Severus continued, still staring into space.  
“I haven’t dueled for a long time, except at the Malfoy Manor and Hogwarts which both happened of recent. At the Malfoy’s I had no problem ignoring the remarks Greyback fired at me, but this morning- I just lost control- just for a second, but that’s all it was.”  
“What did he say to you?” Harry asked quietly.  
“Nothing of consequence, something stupid that I should not have listened to,” Severus mumbled dismissively.  
“Severus, I’m sure you would not have listened to something if it meant nothing to you. He must have offended you in some way or-”  
“No, he didn’t. I should have been able to ignore him as I have done previously, but I didn’t and I think-” But Severus stopped abruptly and Harry was deterred; he was holding onto Severus’ every word.  
“What do you think?” Harry asked eagerly  
“I’ve changed,” Severus said with such an unexpected exasperation that Harry was shocked to hear the change in his voice. Although it was barely more than a whisper, Severus sounded both astonished and ashamed.  
“Is there something wrong with changing?” Harry asked gently, for he knew that some people simply hated the idea of change.  
“I’m different. It is not simply a change of mind or- or being around different people. I think it has gotten to the stage where I cannot go back,” Severus said in a panicked voice as he moved his eyes around as if following a frantic fly.  
“Can’t go back to where?”  
“To who I used to be; I was so proud of my ability to block out everything from my mind, to be fully focused on battle. That’s what made me a good wizard, the only thing I could say I was better at than most others. But now I’m just like everyone else,” Severus said still in a panicked tone.  
“Like me?” Harry said, slightly amused.  
“This is not meant to be offensive, Potter. I worked hard- I sacrificed so much to be a great wizard. Dumbledore was similar; he used his emotions for power not weakness. But this morning, there was no power in me, simply the weakness I always tried to avoid,” Severus stated, clearly ashamed of himself.  
“Is this what you’ve been thinking about since you’ve been in the hospital wing?”  
“Among other things, yes,” Severus muttered.  
“May I ask, what did Greyback say to you?”  
“I told you, it is beside the point!” and Harry could see that Severus’ jaw was clenched, the bone on the side of his neck was protruding.   
“I feel you are hiding it from me, because what he said meant something to you,” Harry said kindly. “Because I don’t think you have changed, Severus. You still managed to ignore all of the other things Greyback said to you before myself and the other Aurors arrived. There was something about his particular wording that made this different from the others. Please, if it was nothing, tell me what he said,” Harry concluded in an almost pleading tone; he was certain whatever Greyback said hurt Severus. “Did he say something about my mother? Or your past? Or… me?”  
“No,” Severus answered quietly and Harry was surprised that Severus didn’t sound angry that he was prying, rather the man seemed to be recalling what exactly Greyback had said.  
Again, Severus took a deep breath and said so quietly that Harry had to bend closer to Severus to hear him.  
“He said something along the lines of this: ‘Potter isn’t coming Severus. You may think that your relationship with him is mutual. He is civil around you, but no matter what he says or how he acts, he will always see you as the man who killed his parents, the man who murdered Dumbledore and the Professor who hated him as a child. He will never see you for who you are and he is not coming tonight. After all, why would he protect someone who has killed so many others? Look around Severus; you are standing on a side without anyone with you… you are alone; you always have been and you always will be.’”  
Severus stopped and remained completely still as if he was running through the words again in his mind. His eyes were wide and moving about the ceiling.  
Harry on the other hand, couldn’t take his eyes from Severus’ face. Wiping a tear from his eye, Harry thought about how cruel those words were. It was no wonder Severus was distracted, no one could have ignored those words. By the way Severus was talking, he had not given Harry a brief summary of what Greyback said, but a word for word recitation. Realising how much this must have tormented Snape for him to be able to remember everything that was said, Harry felt the sudden urge to hug Severus; to let him know that everything Greyback said was not even remotely true.   
Harry dragged himself away from his thoughts to watch Severus who was still thinking about what Greyback had said. The longer Harry watched him, the more he wanted to yell at Severus to stop processing those nonsense words, but for some reason, Harry couldn’t bring himself to do it. Never had he seen Severus so emotionally vulnerable. Sure, the man had shed a tear or two in his presence from past conversations, but to be lying in the hospital wing feeling so lost, so worthless was something no one would want to experience. The worst part of it was that everything Greyback said, although completely false was still plausible and he hoped that Severus was not now lying on the bed thinking about whether Greyback’s words were in fact true.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus,” Harry whispered. “I was coming. I just wanted to have a good plan so we could capture Greyback. I’m so sorry we didn’t help the moment we arrived. It would have been so easy to prevent this,” Harry said, such guilt and remorse filling him up and overwhelming him.  
But Severus didn’t say anything in response.  
“Please say something! I’m so sorry- I wanted to help you, to assist in any way I could, but I thought that perhaps a plan would be important too. Had I known you were injured, I wouldn’t have thought twice. I’m so sorry for putting the plan before your wellbeing.” Harry paused again, hoping Severus would say something- anything. But he continued to stare at the ceiling.  
“How did Dumbledore do this?” Harry whispered desperately more to himself than to Severus. These words attracted Severus’ attention, who turned on his side and said monotonously:  
“Do what?”  
Relieved that Severus was talking to him, Harry lightened up a bit.  
“Put his plan before everything else. He must have felt worse than I do now; when Sirius died, I was so angry in his office that night. He must have felt terrible he didn’t tell me sooner, that I was even more upset and angry than I would’ve been had he been honest to start off with. But Dumbledore knew, probably from experience that plans don’t work if you care…” Harry finished.  
That’s why my plan failed…  
Severus resumed thinking- Harry wished he wouldn’t.  
“What are you thinking about? You don’t think Greyback was right do you?” Harry asked, worried.  
Severus shrugged.  
“Because, I told you remember? I said that ever since I saw your memories I no longer thought of you as the person who killed my parents and Dumbledore, but a great wizard and good person in your own right. I’m here, you’re not alone and although you may have been in the past, you aren’t anymore and you know that- I know you know that. It’s okay that you listened to Greyback, anyone would; what he said was more cruel than anything else I have heard in many years. You have nothing to be worried about or ashamed of. Please don’t think about what he said, they’re not-”  
“Be silent, Harry,” Severus said, though he didn’t move his eyes from the ceiling. Harry shut up immediately, hoping that Severus was about to say something. “Even if Greyback’s words were false, the fact is I still listened. I have developed the weakness I vowed I would never encompass-”  
“Emotions are not a weakness,” Harry said a little defensively.  
“Perhaps not to you Potter. It just so happens that your emotions have proven extremely effective against the Dark Lord when he was alive, as well as against other people who you have dueled in the past. But when you have experienced that many defeats with your peers laughing at you and jeering at your lack of self control, you don’t want to go back there.”  
“I understand,” Harry said slowly. “But you’re still that person, the child you were at Hogwarts.”  
“No I’m not,” Severus hissed as if daring Harry to suggest otherwise.  
“Yes you are. There is nothing in this world that can make us something we’re not. You can suppress your emotions and push aside your feelings like Dumbledore told you and there is no doubt that you have succeeded greatly as both a spy and a wizard. But in the end, you’re still that child-”  
“Shut up!”  
“Severus,” Harry said calmly.  
“I was weak and pathetic; showing your emotions gets you no where!”  
“You know that’s not true, Severus.”  
“Then what of tonight, Potter? What happened tonight? What happened? Was I simply distracted? What kind of wizard who has worked as a spy and fought countless of battles in the past is distracted by WORDS?” Severus yelled, breathing quickly.  
“Severus-”  
“I knew it meant nothing, I knew that you consider me a friend, and I knew I was not alone anymore, I knew these things and yet I still listened, I still displayed the weakness I vowed to never show, I vowed to never lose a battle because of something so petty and pathetic!” Severus spat aggressively, facing the ceiling as if he couldn’t bear to look at Harry.  
“Severus, look at me,” Harry said gently, putting his hand on Severus’ shoulder to encourage him to turn around. Severus shrugged Harry’s hand off him.  
“There was nothing weak about what you did this morning. You fought a very long duel when you were already severely injured,” Harry said as he looked at Severus’ still bare chest and the many scratch marks that were burning red, though they seemed to be healing slowly. “You were brave, courageous and it doesn’t matter that Greyback got you in the end-”  
“To only have you and Weasley turn up, and I lying on the floor useless- hoping that one of you would realise I wasn’t actually dead. I should have died, then it would seem like I fought courageously, rather than being hit by a pathetic body bind curse,” said Severus so fast that Harry could both hear and feel the fury within him.  
“You know your death would have been for nothing, Severus.”  
“Well at least I could have avoided this embarrassing conversation,” Severus hissed.  
“Severus,” Harry said as if he were about to reprimand him, but then stopped himself. “I know this is different to anything you have experienced in the past, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about-” But Harry stopped when Severus turned over so fast and gave him a look that clearly said ‘Prove it.’  
Looking Severus directly in the eyes, Harry saw Severus’ emotion filled black ones, staring back at him as he said:  
“This is a part of being human.”  
“THEN I DON’T WANT TO BE HUMAN!” Severus yelled with his gaze fixated on Harry and such pain in his eyes, that Harry felt his heart jump; he had never felt more empathy in his life. Although Harry had said those exact words many years ago, he didn’t truly mean it. Of course he was upset; mourning for Sirius was one of the most painful experiences of his life. Back then, he just wished for a second that he couldn’t feel emotion. But Harry couldn’t help wondering if Severus really meant what he said and if he did, Harry couldn’t really blame him…  
Severus turned away from Harry, to stare at the ceiling again, though this time, Harry knew he wasn’t contemplating the morning’s events anymore. He was upset, but didn’t want Harry to know it. Harry could hear his quick breathing and, knowing that nothing he said or did would help, Harry watched Severus’ chest move up and down at a high speed.  
Severus remained silent for many minutes, perhaps putting all of his effort into controlling himself. Looking across at Severus’ face, Harry saw a tear fall down his cheek. Following the trail left by the tear, Harry noticed that Severus was swallowing every few seconds as if he was trying to stop himself from crying. It seemed Severus noticed that Harry was looking at him because suddenly his breathing increased as if he were having a panic attack. Harry stood up and leaned over the bed to try and get into Severus’ range of view.  
“Severus, calm down,” he said gently, rubbing Severus’ shoulder as he said it. “It’s okay,” Harry whispered. “There was a time in my life when I didn’t want to be human either. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have emotions too… sometimes you just wish you didn’t care. We’re all human and no matter how hard we try to deny it, no matter how often we push our emotions aside, one day they will come back,” Harry said smiling a little as he realised Severus was looking at him. “There’s nothing wrong with being human, Severus. Your feelings have been hidden for so long, repressed and pushed aside as if they mean nothing to you. But you know they mean so much, you just don’t want to talk about them, or acknowledge them. And that’s okay, you don’t have to talk about them, but take it from someone who knows, you feel so much better once you’ve let it all out: every ounce of hatred, anger, sadness, regret and sorrow. I know you have a lot to hide, so many emotions you just wish you could forget, but they still exist and they still hurt you…” Harry said soothingly, still rubbing Severus’ shoulder. Harry watched as Severus closed his eyes, as if trying to relax. Harry heard Severus’ breathing slow down and was relieved that Severus was okay. With his eyes still closed, Severus said:  
“When you thought I had died you told Weasley that you wished you had talked to me about Lily. What did you want to ask?”   
Harry could hardly believe his ears and was thankful that Severus had his eyes shut because he was smiling so broadly, he just couldn’t help it; he was so happy Severus was willing to talk to him about Lily, about something so personal.  
“That night, I confess I actually wasn’t that far away from you and my mother. I was curious and wanted to know what you said to her- I’m sorry,” Harry added quickly, but Severus didn’t seem to care. “I heard you say that you would try to do something for her, but from the tone in your voice, it seemed like you didn’t think you could. I was just wondering what she asked you to do,” Harry said as he watched Severus’ closed eyelids for any sign of movement.  
Harry saw Severus’ eyes move slightly, but the man didn’t open them.  
“She asked me to forgive myself. To stop focusing on what I did and what I said to her. She asked me to remember her for who she was and the times when I was happy with her, and not for how she died and my part in it. She asked me to free myself of regret and pain, because it hurt her too and I told her that I would try, but I had my doubts. I promised myself, however that I would do my best,” Severus explained.  
“Have you had any success?”  
“I’ve been too busy with the exams and Greyback to have made much of an effort yet,” Severus said monotonously as if disappointed with himself.  
“Did you- um- did you want me to help? If you think I can help,” Harry added, not wanting to make Severus think that Harry thought him useless.  
“You cannot help me, Harry,” he said simply. “I must do this on my own.”  
“Okay, but if you need someone to talk to- if talking about it helps,” Harry said hurriedly, “just let me know.”   
Severus nodded.  
“Because we’ve talked about my mother before and it wasn’t too bad was it?” Harry continued, not being able to contain himself.  
“No, it was fine,” Severus agreed. “But this is different.”  
“How?” Harry asked, surprised that Severus had thought this over.  
“Last time we spoke about Lily, I was merely stating that I loved her. But to reminisce about the past I had with her, to refer to any deeper emotion than that is entirely different.”  
“What is deeper than love?” Harry asked.  
“It’s the specificity of it. I have to think this over and acknowledge my feelings. In the end, Lily wants me to be happy, but it’s not going to be easy for that to happen.”  
“What makes you say that?”  
“I haven’t been happy since the day I called Lily a Mudblood,” Severus said solemnly. “If you do the math, it’s been over four decades.”  
“Perhaps if you verbally reminisce about it; you can tell me what she was like, I would really like to know more about my mother. You can tell me how she made you feel and why you were happy when you were with her.”  
“That would take a long time,” Severus said. “Also, it is too strange for me to talk to you in such a way about your mother when she, in the end, married your father,” Severus pointed out. “It would not be right.”  
“I don’t have a problem with it, but if you do then who else would you like to talk to?”  
“No one, as I told you before, I don’t need to talk about it; I can do this on my own.”  
“I know you can, but if you had to tell someone else, who would you tell?” Harry asked more out of curiosity than anything else.  
Severus opened his eyes. Harry was not expecting this, for he was staring directly at Severus’ closed lids when he opened them.  
Pausing for a moment, the two men looking at each other, Severus seemed to be gaining the courage to give Harry an answer. Surprisingly, the man didn’t even need to think about it.  
“Ginny,” Severus said clearly.  
“Ginny?” Harry asserted with wonder; he was not expecting that at all. “Do you mind me asking why Ginny?” Harry questioned for he was extremely confused and very curious.  
“She is your wife and I know she will tell you everything. It’s not that I do not want you to know Potter, it is more a matter of not wanting to talk to you about it.”  
“I understand,” Harry said, so glad that Severus was willing to be so open about his emotions. “Thank you for trusting me with what happened to you this morning, I know it mustn’t have been easy to talk about it,” Harry said sincerely. “And I’m so sorry we didn’t get there sooner to help you.”  
“It was not your fault, Harry,” Severus replied; he didn’t want Harry to blame himself for this; although there was no need to bring the Aurors, he knew Harry was only trying to capture Greyback so nothing like this would ever happen again.  
“I should let you rest,” Harry said as he walked towards the door.  
“Thank you,” Severus mumbled quietly as he watched Harry leave.   
Suddenly Harry stopped in his tracks; he remembered something that he hadn’t asked Severus about Greyback.  
“Just before Greyback ran into the forest, he was kneeling next to you… he was doing something, though it didn’t take him long. Do you know what he did?”  
Severus lay there thinking for a moment. Finally he answered:  
“No, I have no idea what he did; the one thing I never knew about the body bind curse is that you cannot feel anything whilst in that state. I regret to say he cleverly stood behind my field of vision, so I had no idea what he did to me, if anything.”  
Harry was crestfallen, but figured that if Severus did notice Greyback do something mysterious, he would have mentioned it ages ago.  
“Okay, thank you Severus. Please look after yourself and get better soon. I will keep in contact over the holidays, perhaps you can come over sometime before you and the kids return to Hogwarts,” Harry suggested.  
Severus nodded.  
Smiling, Harry left the hospital wing and walked down the stairs. As he stood in the Entrance Hall, he saw many students sitting in the Great Hall doing their exams. Hoping that James, Albus and Rose would do well in their exams, Harry left the castle and Apparated to the Ministry to update the Aurors and Kingsley on Severus’ condition and the extra information Severus had given him regarding Greyback.


	26. Too many thoughts and memories...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> Another long chapter ahead for you- please enjoy!  
> Bee xo

Two weeks later…

The holidays had finally begun and Harry couldn’t keep the smile off his face. His children were so happy to be at home and although they missed Hogwarts, they also missed their little sister and right now, the three of them were in the living room talking about Hogwarts. This gave Ginny and Harry a few moments to talk without them overhearing.  
“Have you heard from Severus?” Ginny asked Harry in an undertone.  
“Not since he sent me an owl almost two weeks ago saying he’d fully recovered and had resumed teaching,” Harry whispered back.  
“Well it’s the holidays now; do you think we should contact him?” Ginny said, looking a little nervous; although she was flattered, she couldn’t really understand why Severus would choose her to talk to of all people; she felt that perhaps Harry would be the better choice seeing as the two men had had such conversations before. Nevertheless, she was looking forward to hearing what Severus wished to say.  
“I think I will, which day do you think would be appropriate?” Harry asked.  
“Well I suppose the children will have to know he is coming, we can’t very well spring it up on them. Um, well I don’t mind, perhaps you could ask Severus what time would be best for him?”  
“Okay, and then I’ll suggest that when he does come, he and you could go somewhere private whilst I keep the children occupied,” Harry said smiling, realising how interested the kids would be if they knew that Severus was talking about their grandmother to Ginny.  
“Okay,” Ginny replied hesitantly.  
Harry knew Ginny had been worried about this moment for the last two weeks. He remembered the expression she gave him when he first told her about his conversation with Severus. Although Harry had no doubt that Ginny cared for Severus, he understood why she thought it a bit uncomfortable to be in a room with an honest, open and possibly emotional Severus. But Harry had no doubts; Ginny may be worried now, but in the moment, Harry knew Ginny would be a wonderful listener and a great comfort to Severus.  
With Ginny’s consent, Harry stood up and called for Thor, James’ owl, who swooped in as Harry was sealing his letter to Severus.  
Dear Severus,  
We haven’t heard from you since you notified us that you had fully recovered- we hope everything is okay. Seeing as it is now the holidays, perhaps it would be a good time for you to come over for dinner. Ginny, myself and the children do not have anything planned for the next few weeks, so whichever day you are free, let us know by return owl so we can organize a suitable time.   
We hope you are well,  
Harry and Ginny.  
Harry tied the letter to the owl’s leg and then watched it fly away. It seemed that the children were deterred from the conversation at the sound of Thor’s hoots and bounded into the kitchen to see what was going on just as Thor was flying out of sight.  
“Who did you send that letter to, Daddy?” Lily asked, running up to her father and looking at him excitedly as if she knew to whom Harry was communicating.  
Harry smiled. “I just sent a letter to Professor Snape,” Harry answered, looking up at his two sons to see their reactions. There was a moment’s pause before Albus answered:  
“We’re not in trouble are we?”  
“No, Al, we were just inviting Severus over for dinner.”  
“Oh, when’s he coming?” Lily asked bouncing up and down.  
“We don’t know yet, but hopefully he will let us know by return owl.”  
“Is he okay?” James asked.  
Harry and Ginny thought it best not to tell the children exactly what happened to Severus until their exams were finished. However, Rose being inquisitive and having sharp ears for gossip in the corridors came up with the conclusion that the creature she saw in the forest was a werewolf and that Severus’ injury was inflicted by the creature. However, she was unaware that that particular werewolf was Greyback until Hermione enlightened her upon her return home. The children were surprised, shocked and worried for the same reason that their parents were, and couldn’t believe how close Severus was to being bitten or even killed. So the idea that they would see their professor in their home once again, without the usual formalities of school, was exciting, especially considering what they found out on Christmas Eve.  
“Is it okay if Severus comes over?” Ginny asked kindly, looking at her children, each of whom nodded, the excitement clear on their faces. It amused both Ginny and Harry that their children were so interested and keen to see Severus when there was a time when Ginny and Harry would do anything to avoid the same man.  
“Well hopefully Severus will reply soon,” Harry said just as Thor returned with a letter tied to its leg.  
“That was quick,” Ginny mumbled under her breath as she stood up to detach the letter.  
Opening it, her family watching her intently, she read the letter written in tiny, cramped writing.  
“Severus says he’s free tomorrow,” Ginny announced grinning, though she was a little worried at the same time; she wasn’t expecting their meeting to be so soon.  
“Excellent,” Harry said. “What should we have for dinner?” Harry questioned the children before him.  
“Professor Snape’s favourite!” Lily exclaimed.  
Harry laughed, he couldn’t help himself.  
“That’s a good idea, though I have no idea what Severus likes to eat and I am sure he wouldn’t want us to change our normal meals just for him,” Harry replied, grinning at the thought of what Severus would say if he received a letter asking him what his favourite dish was.  
“So Professor Snape is coming for dinner tomorrow night?” Albus asked, just to double check.  
“Yes, probably around six, I guess,” Harry said as he wrote back to Severus on another piece of parchment, telling him when dinner would be ready.  
“Cool,” Albus answered. “Are Rose and Hugo coming?”  
Harry and Ginny paused looking at each other; knowing what was going to happen the following night, they didn’t think it would be a good idea to have any more visitors.  
“Um, no, it’ll just be us and Severus. Is that okay?” Harry replied hesitantly; unsure of how their children would feel about the Weasleys’ absence.  
“Yeah, that’s cool, Dad. I was just asking,” Albus replied smiling. “I just thought that maybe Rose would have liked to see him.”  
“Uncle Ron contacted me not long after you all returned from Hogwarts telling me that Rose had the opportunity to see Professor Snape and apologise before she left Hogwarts,” Ginny said.  
“She didn’t get into trouble did she?” Lily asked, looking worried.  
“No, sweetie. It wasn’t Rose’s fault and Severus knows that,” Ginny replied gently.  
“But he’s okay, right? Because Rose was really worried-”  
“He’s fine, Albus,” Harry replied, truly basking in the words of his youngest son; he couldn’t believe how much his children cared for Severus, it was wonderful.  
“Have the Aurors found Greyback yet?” James asked, remembering exactly why Professor Snape was injured in the first place.  
“No, we haven’t James. But there is a special group of Aurors whose main goal is to find any information they can about Greyback, his actions and whereabouts,” Harry answered confidently, though James’ question did bring him back to reality a little. Although he had told the Aurors and Kingsley everything he and Severus knew about Greyback, it wasn’t nearly enough to find the man. Inquiries had been made, several people had been questioned and yet, Greyback could not be found. But Harry had high hopes: if Greyback hadn’t been seen, the odds were that he wasn’t on the move which meant that for now, he would be able to focus on Severus’ coming over and the conversation that he and Ginny were hopefully going to have.  
Noticing the time, Harry said: “You three had better get ready for bed.”  
“But Dad it’s the holidays!” James protested.  
“Yes, but you need your rest, just in case you three are up late tomorrow night, you don’t want to fall asleep whilst Severus is here do you?” Harry asked smiling, knowing that this would change his children’s perspective on ‘bed time’.  
“Dad has a point,” Albus said reasonably.  
“I guess,” James replied. “Okay, well good night Mum and Dad,” James said as he turned and walked out of the kitchen.  
In turn, Lily and Al also said their goodnights, their parents telling them that they would be up soon to read to them.  
After they had left the kitchen, Harry said quietly with a tone of amazement in his voice.  
“They are so excited.”  
Ginny turned to look at her husband. “Well they don’t really know what’s going to happen do they? You didn’t tell them did you?” Ginny added, worried that perhaps they knew Severus’ main purpose for coming over.  
“No and don’t be so worried, Ginny. Severus just needs someone to talk to about my mother. The only reason he won’t talk to me is because it would be awkward for him to talk about my mother like that-”  
“Because it’s not going to be awkward for me,” Ginny cut in quietly. Harry knew she was still worried and could see why. Having known Severus for most of their lives as a vengeful, bitter and harsh professor, it was strange to think that now he wanted to talk to one of his ex-students about the woman he loved. Of course, Ginny and Harry much preferred the relationship they now had with the man, but Ginny’s main worry was that Severus would change his mind because she did something wrong or said something she shouldn’t have. She really didn’t want to offend Severus whilst he was talking about Lily and Harry could tell that Ginny felt pressured to help him.  
“Ginny,” Harry whispered, holding his wife’s hand. “He just needs someone to talk to.”  
“But you’ve done this before,” Ginny pointed out.  
“True, I have and it was fine. Severus does want to talk you know, I can tell. You just need to be there for him and encourage him to talk, and if he doesn’t want to then that’s okay. Just let him know you are there for him, which I know you are, even if you are a little scared,” Harry said kindly, kissing Ginny on the cheek.  
“But what if he changes his mind?” Ginny blurted out as Harry was about to stand up.  
“He won’t,” Harry said smiling.  
“What makes you so sure?” Ginny asked a little aggressively; it seemed Harry found her worries amusing.  
“Ginny,” Harry said sitting back down. “You are a wonderful person, I’m sure he won’t change his mind and if he does, I’m sure he’ll talk when he is ready. But I think he will talk to you tomorrow; he’s determined to fulfill the promise he made to my mother. And seeing as you have beautiful red hair like my mother had, I think that it would it easier for him to open up to you, don’t you think?” Harry asked, trying to determine the expression on his wife’s face.  
“I hope so, but it’s just weird,” Ginny whispered, resting her head on Harry’s shoulder. “I haven’t really spoken to Severus all that much. I don’t know what I should do or what he expects of me.”  
“Don’t worry about it Ginny. Everything will be okay. He’ll talk to you, I know he will and once he starts, you’ll know exactly what to say to comfort him,” Harry whispered back, kissing Ginny on her forehead.  
‘Thanks, Harry,” Ginny said, raising her head and standing up.  
“I love you,” Harry said, as he too, stood up and held Ginny’s hand.  
“I love you too,” Ginny replied as they began to walk up the stairs towards their children’s bedrooms.  
“I hope we can help Severus,” Harry whispered so that the children couldn’t hear as they were right outside Lily’s room.  
“Me too,” Ginny replied as they greeted their daughter and began to tell her yet another thrilling story about their childhood.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Severus felt he was going crazy.  
What the hell am I doing? Why did I say I would talk to Ginny?  
Because you want to keep your promise to Lily.  
What’s going to happen? How is this going to work?  
So many thoughts were flying through his mind as Severus tried to master himself.  
Just go and have dinner and hopefully nothing will happen.  
But then who are you going to talk to?  
Who cares?  
You do-  
What if Ginny does not care?  
You know she cares for you  
What if I can’t talk about Lily?  
She will understand  
It will be okay…  
Severus had to keep himself occupied. Grabbing a vial from his desk drawer in Spinner’s End, he uncorked it and pointed his wand to his temple. He dragged out three memories, each white and silver lengths of liquid-gas, and placed them in the vial. Severus stared at the white-silver substance.  
Was that enough? Should he add a few more memories? Deciding that he should, he added another two and then corked the vial.  
After recovering from Greyback’s attack and after the exams were completed by the students, Severus began thinking about Harry: the man had only seen his parents in his, Severus’ memories and even then, he has only seen them a few times. Severus decided that Harry deserved to see more of his parents and although Snape refused to describe his memories to Harry, he saw no problem in giving Harry some of his memories to look at.  
Severus placed the vial near the front door so he wouldn’t forget to take it with him the following evening, but as he sat on his couch with a drink in hand, he couldn’t stop staring at it. Was he really ready to do this? To show Harry and tell Ginny things he has kept hidden for years? Severus had the sudden urge to grab back the vial and replace the memories back in his mind, but he forced himself to remain seated; he had to be strong for Lily and for himself…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At exactly six o’clock the following evening, Severus arrived at number 12 Grimmauld Place only to be greeted by Albus, James and Lily all of whom were very excited to see him. Severus had no idea how children could be so happy by his arrival, but greeted them as nicely as he could. The children led him into the kitchen where Harry and Ginny were putting the final touches on the meal.   
Severus smelt the food and it made him even hungrier than he already was, though upon seeing Ginny, knowing too well that Harry would have told her what he said, Snape lost his appetite.  
Ginny and Harry turned to greet Severus, who shook hands with the latter.  
“Dinner will be ready in a moment, Severus,” Harry said, turning back to the meal, but Ginny continued to stare at Severus. She tried to move her glance away but couldn’t until Harry grabbed her arm and swung her gently around.  
“He looks pale,” Ginny whispered. “I don’t know about this Harry.”  
“Relax Ginny, everything will be fine. And try not to stare at Severus; it’ll make him more uncomfortable than he already is.”  
Ginny nodded as she and her husband magicked the food onto the table.  
“Dig in everyone,” Harry said happily, watching as his children dived for the food.  
Harry noticed that Severus hadn’t made to eat anything, but seemed to be staring into space, much like he was in the hospital wing two weeks ago. Harry took his seat next to Severus, with Al sitting on Severus’ other side.  
“Can I pass you anything, Severus?” Harry said quietly to the man next to him so that the children wouldn’t hear over their chewing and the clattering of cutlery.  
Severus turned to look at Harry and Harry tried to give him the most reassuring look he could, Ginny was watching the two men from the opposite side of the table.  
It took a while for Severus to respond, but eventually he said in a quiet, broken voice.  
“I’ll have some chicken, thank you.”  
Harry hastily picked up the dish of roast chicken and placed it in front of Severus, who made to pick up certain pieces with the tongs. Harry noticed Severus’ hand was shaking and it was only then that he realised how worried and anxious Severus must be. Although they had never mentioned in their letters about the conversation Severus said he would like to have with Ginny, Harry knew the man hadn’t forgotten.  
Thankfully the children hadn’t noticed anything strange about Severus and through their chewing and talking amongst themselves, Harry asked Severus quietly:  
“Are you okay?”  
Severus nodded as he continued to eat the roast chicken and vegetables he now had on his plate.  
“Professor Snape, have you marked our exams yet?” James asked; he and Albus were just discussing when they would be getting their marks back.  
Severus jumped slightly, as if he had momentarily forgotten that other people were in the room.  
“Yes, I have Mr Potter,” Severus said in his usual tone.  
James didn’t seem to be expecting this answer and looked nervously at Albus.  
“Um can you tell us how we went?” James asked hesitantly, wondering if he really wanted his mark back; Severus’ expression didn’t portray any hint of how well they went.  
Severus grimaced slightly when he noticed how nervous both James and Albus were and answered:  
“You both did very well.”   
Harry and Ginny smiled, whilst Lily laughed at her two brothers, who exhaled at the news.  
“That’s good,” James breathed. “I really didn’t want to fail Defense against the Dark Arts, especially because it was Dad’s best and favourite subject.”  
“And can you imagine how I would feel if I failed a subject in my first year?” Albus added. “That would be terrible…”  
“You should be getting your results in the next week I would imagine,” Severus continued and then resumed eating. Both James and Albus did very well in his exam and Severus was rather surprised. He purposefully set a difficult test, with some easy and some very difficult questions so he could distinguish between the range of students. He was pleased to say that James and Albus faired very well in their relative tests and of course, Rose earned herself full marks and top of the first years.

Small talk occupied the rest of the conversation throughout dinner and dessert, all the while Severus was becoming more worried and anxious. Nothing had been mentioned, there was no order, he had no idea what to expect. Ginny was feeling similarly and the both of them tried to avoid each other’s gazes as if looking at each other would introduce the topic. Harry could sense the feelings they were trying to avoid and if he didn’t know the true situation he would think they were two friends who refused to admit their feelings for one another. Harry was grateful that the children remained ignorant of the situation. It seemed that with Severus over as their guest, it gave them even more incentive to talk about Hogwarts at the dinner table. But Harry was the only one of the adults who was really listening to their comments. It reached the stage where Ginny was keen to at least speak to Severus to find out what was happening, Severus on the other hand was thinking of leaving.   
All this build up- all this time- what if it was just a waste? He couldn’t go through with it, but he didn’t know how to get out of it either.  
As dessert was drawing to a close, Harry began to wonder what was going to happen. But before Harry could think any further on it, Severus said:  
“Thank you for a wonderful dinner, but I should probably take my leave; I still have some exams to mark-”  
“But you only got here an hour ago!” James exclaimed.  
“You can’t leave yet,” Albus said sounding a little disappointed.  
“Please stay,” Lily implored, looking at Severus, who had no idea what to do; he wanted to leave, but he had no idea how to do it.   
Harry and Ginny were looking at each other; they could tell that Severus was uncomfortable and no longer wanted to go through with what Harry had suggested a fortnight ago.  
“Stay a little longer Severus,” Harry said, turning to his right and was met with black, pleading eyes.  
“Please let me go,” Severus mumbled, hardly moving his lips, but Harry knew exactly what he said and for the first time that night, Harry was inclined to let him go, just from the way he was staring at him.  
“Actually, before you go Severus, there’s something I meant to ask you about Greyback. Come with me,” Ginny said in a calm voice as if trying to repress her own fears to get Severus to stay whilst also dragging him away from the rest of her family so he could talk freely. Severus looked sharply at Ginny as if to determine if she was being serious or not; he honestly couldn’t tell. He then turned back to Harry, who tried his hardest to encourage Severus to follow his wife without actually saying so, for the children were watching them with great interest. Slowly, Severus stood up and walked towards the now standing Ginny and together they walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Once they had left the room, Harry’s eyes following them eagerly, hoping that due to Ginny’s quick thinking, Severus would decide to stay.  
“Where are they going, Dad?” Albus asked, as he too was watching Ginny and Professor Snape leave the kitchen.  
“Your mother just needs to talk to Severus about Greyback, there are some things I was not able to explain properly so she wanted to clarify a few things,” Harry explained in what he hoped was a convincing manner.  
“But couldn’t we have listened too?” Lily asked.  
“You may have, but your mother felt it necessary to ask Severus in private, so we’re going to respect that, right?” Harry said, looking between his three children, each of whom nodded, though their keen interest in what Severus and their mother were now talking about was still unmistakable.  
“So who wants a game of Exploding Snap?” Harry asked eagerly, hoping the children would be interested so as to give Ginny and Severus as much privacy as possible.  
“I do!” Lily squealed. “And I am so gonna beat you guys,” she added, looking at her brothers with sheer determination; she has never won a game of Exploding Snap and hoped that with her father’s help, she would be able to. Together, Harry and his children sat on the floor in the living room and thankfully the ensuing game was loud and filled with laughter which blocked out the voices that could be heard from above…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ginny realised, after bringing Severus up stairs, that the only place they could go was her and Harry’s bedroom. Ginny was keeping a close eye on Severus; the moment she realised that Severus wanted to leave, it was as if all of her worries had vanished; she had to make Severus stay because she knew it was important for him, even if it is a little scary. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Severus, who was standing behind Ginny, tried to turn back, but Ginny grabbed Severus firmly around his arm and gently pulled him into the main bedroom, closing the door behind them.   
Severus didn’t know what to do. He was trapped- he didn’t want to be there anymore. How could he have possibly thought this was a good idea? He could feel Ginny watching him from behind, but he had frozen. Should he sit? Stand? Pace? He was now certain that Ginny had no intention of asking him anything about Greyback, but he still had no idea what was about to happen. Ginny knew- she knew why he was truly here and that scared Severus more than anything in the world. She would coax it out of him, but what if he wasn’t ready?  
Severus was wringing his hands as he paced between the chair and the door, never once looking at Ginny as if he had no idea what to do with himself. Ginny watched as the bone on the side of Severus’ neck became pronounced and then disappeared- Severus was clenching his jaw. Finally Severus stopped pacing, facing the door as if he were looking right through Ginny. Severus was breathing quickly as he stared at it as if an intense conflict were brewing inside him.  
Ginny was shocked when she felt tears fall silently down her face. Just watching Severus act this way was hard enough let alone hearing about all of the feelings and memories he has repressed for so long. And to think- it would be her, Ginny that would be the first to hear. Realising just how much she felt for Severus, she walked slowly and cautiously towards the man, who noticed her coming and gulped as if he had difficulty swallowing. Severus could feel his pulse racing. He couldn’t believe he was losing control like this. It is easy to talk about the past and about his feelings… right?  
No, not when they have been kept private for years.  
Don’t lose control now. Master yourself!  
But it’s the pressure.  
She’s your friend, Ginny won’t judge you.  
I can’t do this…  
“Severus?” Ginny said quietly, interrupting Severus’ many thoughts. But despite hearing Ginny talking to him, Severus couldn’t stop moving and refused to look at her. He trusts Ginny, but this wasn’t about her, but his own insecurities and fears.  
“Severus,” Ginny said a little louder, her voice cracking a little, though it was difficult to remain firm with him. If it were up to her, if she didn’t think there was any benefit in the conversation that would hopefully take place, she would have let him leave. But she had to remain strong, though this became increasingly difficult as she continued to watch Severus resume moving from one side of the room to the other in clear panic and confusion.  
Sensing Ginny’s emotion, Severus forced himself to stop moving and focused on remaining calm; his breathing was extremely fast and he felt like his heart was pounding its way out of his chest.  
“Severus, it’s okay,” Ginny said softly as she faced Severus who was looking at the ceiling. Ginny watched Severus’ Adam’s apple move rapidly up and down. Reaching towards him, Ginny placed her hands on Severus’ shoulders and ran her hands down his arms. This gesture seemed to trigger something in Severus; he looked down at Ginny and Ginny felt her heart break… they hadn’t even started talking about Lily yet. He was in so much pain- so vulnerable and so unlike the Severus she used to know when she was a student- and she felt for him and knew this was a tremendous step for him, but she knew Severus would be okay, if she could just calm him down.  
Severus was still staring at Ginny and she returned it, her hands now returning to his shoulders, rubbing them gently.  
Ginny’s touch brought Severus back to reality. He was now very aware of her every movement and the way she was trying to comfort him. Severus felt so vulnerable it was driving him mad, he had never felt so out of control, so emotional, so in tune with what he was feeling physically and emotionally that it was overwhelming for him. Severus closed his eyes, trying to stop himself from being terrified of the situation, trying to silently convince himself that everything would be okay so that he could calm down and actually speak to Ginny.  
Ginny watched intently as Severus closed his eyes and heard his breathing slow down. Hoping that maybe he would be able to calm down without her assistance, Ginny kept rubbing Severus’ shoulders, but never took her eyes off him.  
But Severus’ thoughts were getting the better of him- he couldn’t control what he was doing. He was swallowing incessantly and Ginny could feel him shaking slightly; she could tell that whatever emotions Severus was feeling, they were powerful.  
After what felt like a long time, Ginny whispered:  
“Are you okay, Severus?” her hands still placed on his shoulders.  
Severus nodded, but didn’t open his eyes.  
“Did you want to sit down?” Ginny asked gently, wishing that Severus would open his eyes.  
Snape shook his head slightly, still focusing on maintaining control over his emotions; Ginny could still see his Adam’s apple rising and falling rapidly.  
“Severus, you can talk to me,” implored Ginny in a quiet tone; she didn’t want to be intrusive, but at the same time, wanted Severus to know she was there for him.  
Still keeping his eyes firmly shut, Severus replied in what was barely a whisper:  
“I can’t do this.” Severus could feel his eyes burning with the beginnings of tears, the one thing he was trying to prevent. “But I need to.” And with those words, Severus cracked; all control left him entirely. His breathing increased rapidly once more and Ginny watched and heard Severus take quick breaths. He was standing perfectly still as if he had given up, allowing his body and emotions take over.  
Severus’ eyes remained shut; he didn’t want Ginny to see the tears that were quickly forming. But suddenly, Ginny’s hands were no longer on his shoulders but wrapped tightly around him. He kept his eyes shut and felt her hold him; he could sense that she was emotional too.  
Ginny knew Severus doubted himself, but she had faith in him- knew that he could visit his memories of Lily and all that she meant and still means to him.  
“You can do this, Severus,” Ginny whispered as she continued to hug him. She could feel his pounding heart against her chest and his chest rising and falling. All she could do was hope that what she was doing and saying was helping him calm down.  
“I don’t know how to talk about how I feel,” whispered Severus.  
“Just say whatever comes to you. There’s no pressure, no expectations, I just want you to talk about anything you feel you want to talk about. If you want I’ll just listen and won’t say anything. I don’t mind how we do this, it’s all up to you,” Ginny said, her head still resting on Severus’ shoulder, her arms still embracing him.  
“But I don’t know-” Severus replied, but then broke off; he felt so helpless.   
“Calm down Severus,” Ginny said soothingly. As if on command, Severus felt himself relax a little. Slowly, Severus returned Ginny’s hug as he too, lifted his arms and hugged her to him. He didn’t know what had come over him, but there was something comforting about her being there with him and caring for him. Although he knew that Harry felt similarly, hugging Ginny didn’t feel nearly as awkward. Ginny and Severus didn’t know how long they stood there together, but Ginny refused to let go until she could feel Severus’ heart rate return back to normal and until her own tears had dried on her cheeks. Finally she asked:  
“Are you okay now?”  
Severus nodded as he opened his eyes.  
“Thank you,” he answered as he let go of Ginny.  
“Did you want to sit down now?” Ginny suggested, moving towards the bed and sitting on it.  
Severus didn’t reply but moved towards the comfy chair standing opposite where Ginny was sitting and lowered himself into it.  
Now that they were seated, Ginny had no intention of saying anything unless prompted by Severus. She was ready for Severus to begin, but wasn’t going to pressure him into starting until he was ready.  
Severus knew where he was going to start having thought about it extensively the night before. Building up the courage Harry, Ginny and their children knew him for; Severus took a deep breath, forced himself to look at Ginny and began.

“I believed it was impossible for me to tell you exactly what Lily meant to me, but I was thinking about it last night and I realised that I can explain it, but I regret to say that the best place to start involves my family. My parents did not want to get married, I doubt whether they even cared about each other, let alone loved one another. I discovered one night when my father was drunk that he and my mother married because of me. Apparently I was an accident,” Severus said in a bitter tone, Ginny had no doubt that Severus greatly resented his parents, his father especially. “Only god knows why they decided to stay together after I was born, but nevertheless they did and until I went to Hogwarts I lived with my parents who frequently argued and basically neglected my existence. On the occasion when my father would be out of the house, my mother would talk with me, but generally they were pathetic parents. Consequently, I kept myself occupied by reading some of my mother’s Dark Arts books and taught myself things that a child should never know. When I arrived at Hogwarts, many people thought I was obsessed with the Dark Arts- that I had dark tendencies!” Severus exclaimed suddenly as if the idea was absurd. “If only they knew…” Severus paused for a moment as if thinking. Then looking away from Ginny he continued.  
“When I was nine years of age I told myself that under no circumstance would I get married because I did not want to be unhappy and angry like my parents were. I also made a promise to myself that I would never have children for the same reason. Because I was so young and the only married couple I was exposed to were my parents, it was no surprise that I had these feelings towards marriage, but that is what I felt, even at such a young age. And I was okay with never getting married because I thought that that would at least make me happier than my parents. Marriage seemed like the worst thing in the world.” Severus returned his gaze to Ginny and said with great emphasis.  
“Until I met Lily.”  
Ginny knew what this meant and couldn’t help smiling a little.  
“I met Lily one day in the park and witnessed her do uncontrolled magic in front of her sister. I was so excited because I had no idea there was another magical student my age in the area. And when I found out she was Muggleborn I was ecstatic because that meant I could tell her everything I knew about the wizarding world. She seemed to look up to me as if I were this amazing person that told her about a whole different world, a magical world that she would soon be a part of. Before we started at Hogwarts I think we spent almost every day in that park playing- talking and I was happy; I had a friend and she talked to me as if she wanted me there. I don’t know what I would have done without her there; my parents’ arguments continued and she saved me because I could finally talk to someone about how I was feeling. She was always supportive and comforting and when she fought with her sister or parents, I would return the gesture.   
“Then we started at Hogwarts and during our first train ride we met James and Sirius. I think James was attracted to Lily from the very beginning and he was jealous that someone like me was with her. Nevertheless, during our first year Lily and I continued to help each other and talk as much as we could, though it was restricted due to us being in separate houses and as you know, Gryffindors and Slytherins are not meant to be friends. She and I both had friends in our relative houses, but we knew that none of those relationships rivaled the one we had. Of course, James and Sirius continued to hex or curse me in the corridors; I wouldn’t be surprised if James vowed to make my life a living hell from the moment he saw me,” Severus added. “But after a while, as much as I hated conflict, I fought back. But sometimes they would go too far, even by their standards and I couldn’t defend myself physically or emotionally. It was on these occasions that Lily would stand up for me. It was common knowledge that she and I were friends, and it seemed James wanted to impress her so much that he would always obey her, even when he seemed to be enjoying the trauma he would inflict on me. Lily didn’t care what people said about us- we both knew that people were accusing us of defying the ‘rules’ of Hogwarts, that Gryffindors aren’t meant to defend Slytherins against their own house. But nevertheless, Lily was always there for me whenever I needed her and vice versa. Some of the people in my house would mumble about Lily and her Muggleborn status, asserting that she shouldn’t be allowed into Hogwarts. On these occasions I would stand up for her too and so we made a great team. I felt we were best friends, even though our other friends never seemed to be able to accept that. Towards the end of our first year, even though I had not known her for long and despite being eleven years old, I realised that I loved her. I believed that if I married Lily, if she were my wife I could be happy- I would be happy. At the time, I had no idea how she felt about me and I do not believe she knew that at such a young age I loved her so deeply, but I did. And it was not a crush or some kind of fantasy, I truly loved her for everything that she was. It took me only a moment as we were sitting together beside the lake to realise that Lily meant everything to me and that I could be happy- rise above my parents and have a good life ahead of me. I felt revitalized, and I was filled with hope and excitement that one day my wishes would come true. My attachment to Lily remained very strong, although I tried to hide it a little because I didn’t want to scare Lily away; after all we were still very young.   
“But in my fourth year, my fellow Slytherins noticed that I seemed to be thinking about Lily constantly and after four years of being friends with a Gryffindor, I was not highly looked upon. I knew my fellow students were not my friends, but rather people who sought to maintain the views of Slytherin and question those who disobeyed the tradition. They constantly talked to me about Lily, why I should end my relationship with her because she is a ‘Mudblood’. I hated it when they used that word in front of me, but I pretended I didn’t care, and tried my best to ignore them. I asserted plainly to them that under no circumstance would I stop being friends with her- the fact that she was Muggleborn meant nothing to me. After making such a statement, I became very unpopular, most people simply left me alone and my ‘friends’ stopped pestering me. Instead they would follow Lily around and tell her the things they told me. When I found out what they were doing I was furious with them and even more so when Lily questioned me, asking me if I wanted to end our relationship. Of course, my answer was no, though she didn’t believe me at first; my peers had told her I had a problem with her parentage. After much arguing in our dormitory that night, my peers agreed, however reluctantly, to tell Lily the truth. Thankfully, Lily listened to them and our relationship continued peacefully for the rest of the year, though my peers often spoke about ‘Mudbloods’ just before they fell asleep. Although I tried to block it out, apparently some of what they said sunk in.   
Although Lily continued to defend me against the likes of James and Sirius, by the age of fifteen, I began to feel like I should be able to defend myself. I promised myself that I would never lose to them again, that I would be able to maintain control over my emotions so that I could effectively send a curse back at them in my defense. I was able to do this during a majority of my fifth year, until that one occasion after our Defense against the Dark Arts OWL. As Harry probably described to you, we were down by the lake and James decided he would humiliate me. I was caught completely off guard and unfortunately he managed to get the better of me. For the first time he used my own spell: ‘Levicorpus’ on me and this made me furious. I had lost control and I was so mad at myself for letting that happen. There were so many people watching me struggle to maintain composure. I felt so useless and pathetic, and I was ashamed that I had broken the promise I made to myself. If I was going to be any decent wizard I knew I had to ignore what people said to me whilst under attack. At that moment I hated James so much I think that if he released me I would have rushed at him- done anything I could think of to hurt him. I did nothing to him and he continued to give me this shit,” Severus muttered as if he were trying very hard to keep his temper.   
Ginny was watching Severus intently; she felt so sorry for him and yet she wasn’t about to stop him from yelling if that’s how he wanted to express his anger.  
“Why in god’s name did he have to do that to me!? I was already worrying about the exams, my friends were still pestering me about Lily and I was so proud that I had managed to defend myself against James ever since the beginning of the year. I was disappointed and angry and furious and embarrassed and so upset and you would think that anyone would have been able to see that!” Severus shouted. Pausing for a moment, Severus calmed himself down before continuing.  
“Lily came and she did what she used to do- she stood up for me and of course, James obliged and let me down, however reluctantly. But Lily, my best friend having to intervene just so I wouldn’t have to experience humiliation at James’ hand was just unbearable. I was fifteen years old! I should have been able to defend myself and although that’s what friends are for, what use would I be if I could not even duel a student? I felt pathetic, worthless and I could hear my fellow Slytherins’ voices in the back of my head jeering at me: ‘You were just saved my a Mudblood!’ And you know as well as I do that I never, I repeat never thought of Lily as a Mudblood, she was my best friend- my only friend and anyone who knew me, like Lily should have, would realise that I didn’t mean what I said. The moment I let those words leave my mouth I was astonished because I knew I didn’t see her that way. I wanted to marry her for Christ’s sake! I loved her, she meant the world to me and not only did I lose her trust, I lost her friendship. She was deeply offended by what I said, as anyone would be if their friend called them such a terrible name, but the day after, I tried- I did everything I could to talk to her. I had to tell her how I felt, that I didn’t mean what I said- that I loved her and that I was really sorry. I- I followed her around the castle begging her to give me two minutes to talk to her, but after what I did, all of her Gryffindor friends were protecting her and telling me to go away because I was a hypocrite and a liar. Lily thought I had lied about the previous year, she thought I did have a problem with the fact that she was Muggleborn! But she wouldn’t let me explain! I was like a pathetic puppy being loyal to its owner by following it around. I would wait in front of the Gryffindor portrait hole for her to return from dinner. I did everything I could think of to get her to listen to me, but nothing worked. She and I would yell things across the Entrance Hall, I would beg her to forgive me but she would completely ignore me. Once the holidays began I knew I had no chance of befriending her again. I lost my best friend because of my weakness- because I couldn’t stay in control. I let other people’s thoughts enter my own head and there’s no place in this world for such pathetic people. I was so angry with myself, and I missed Lily so much. I blamed it all on myself and yet deep inside I knew that Lily should have given me the chance to explain- I know that ‘Mudblood’ is a terrible word to use, but after everything we had been through together, everything we had told each other- secrets, wishes, hopes, you would think that she would give me that chance, but she didn’t and for a long time I felt resentful towards her and James.   
“I continued the last two years of Hogwarts, friendless, angry, emotional and edgy, which fuelled James and Sirius’ attempts to curse me. Seeing Lily stand there watching me being humiliated without doing anything just- it-it killed me- seeing her there made me useless, I didn’t even bother trying to defend myself. But I was an idiot and although I had given up on rebuilding my friendship with Lily, I continued to hope that one day things would go back to the way they were- that one day, even if it was twenty or thirty years down the track, Lily would at least listen to me. On my last train ride home from Hogwarts at the end of my seventh year, I was in a compartment by myself and for the entire ride home all I could think about was Lily and how happy she was with James which made me intensely furious. It was only then that I realised I would never marry her, my wish since the age of eleven would never come true. And yet, I remember dreaming that James did something to Lily and she left him and came back to me. That wish- that desire kept me going, but it wasn’t strong enough to prevent me from joining the Dark Lord. After I called Lily a ‘Mudblood’, my Slytherin peers thought much more highly of me and encouraged me to become a Death Eater. With the encouragement of Lucius, I decided to offer my services to the Dark Lord mainly because I wanted to learn the Dark Arts from him. So I became a Death Eater. As you know I heard the first half of the prophecy made about Harry and the Dark Lord and told him what I heard. When he informed me a few days later that he thought the boy mentioned was James and Lily Potter’s son, I found it extremely difficult to hide my fear. I did not under any circumstance want Lily to die, so much so that I even risked the Dark Lord finding out about my feelings for Lily by asking him to protect her, saying that she would be an asset to him. He agreed and I thought Lily would be safe. I also spoke to Dumbledore who appointed every protection on them and I didn’t care that he thought I was pathetic for wanting to save Lily’s life but not James’ or Harry’s. Even though I knew Lily no longer cared for me like she used to, a foolish part of me held onto her, because I loved her and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t repress the feelings I had for her. But then-” Severus paused and turned away from Ginny.  
“She died. It didn’t matter to me that the Dark Lord didn’t keep his promise or that Albus’ big plan failed. All I cared about was the fact that Lily Potter was gone forever. It was impossible for my dreams to become reality- impossible for me to ever see her again and talk to her like we used to. I was a wreck, I felt terrible, I felt responsible and such regret broke me. I didn’t move for a long time after I heard that Lily had been killed. I felt every ounce of hope, determination and happiness leave me. I felt empty and useless. After I mourned for Lily I went to Dumbledore who suggested that I protect Harry. I thought that it could work; I would be showing Lily and the world how much I cared for her and I hoped that maybe a part of Lily was in Harry. Before Harry came to Hogwarts I devised ways of getting him to like me- of befriending him whilst still hiding my true loyalties as a spy. I envisaged that one day I would be able to sit with Harry and tell him what his mother meant to me. For all the years prior to Harry coming to Hogwarts I lived with that hope. My very being was resting on the fact that Lily hadn’t truly gone- that she still lived within her son. And when the time finally came for Harry to come to Hogwarts, I laid eyes on him for a split second and all of my plans left me. Harry looked identical to his father and no matter how hard I tried, even when I focused on his eyes, I couldn’t see an ounce of Lily in him. He was getting special treatment like James used to and of course that was only because he would be the boy to defeat the Dark Lord, but I never saw it that way. All I could see was James and as you know; my hatred towards James came out very strongly whenever I saw or communicated with Harry. I would frequently lose control of my emotions, but I didn’t care. I believed that Harry deserved every bit of torture I could give him because he looked like James and that did nothing but remind me that Lily was taken away from me- that my time at Hogwarts was some of the worst years of my life. The sight of Harry, especially during his first year, made me angry and although I tried to control myself I could not rise above my anger and hatred. But I knew, though would have never admitted that Harry deserved nothing that I gave him. He was innocent in this whole ordeal, but it made me feel satisfied that I was symbolically paying James back for everything he did to me and everything I lost because of him. It was during Harry’s first year after realising that I could never befriend him that I completely lost hope. I had no desire to move on, no desire to protect Harry, but by then Dumbledore had verbally bound me to the promise I made, and seeing as he was keeping me out of Azkaban, I decided to continue teaching however much I resented it. I was severely unhappy and I took it out on the students, except the Slytherins, though even then I would have to force myself to not be equally as harsh to them. I became spiteful and blunt to the extent that even I realised that I was a truly terrible person. But I couldn’t help it. The sight of Harry brought back so many memories- everything I lost and everything I could have gained- I hated it. But I told myself that I had to stay because I loved Lily and this is what she would have wanted me to do. So I stayed and towards the end of Harry’s schooling I became a little better at controlling my temper. After Harry saw my memory in the pensieve during our last Occlumency lesson I was worried that he realised how I felt about his mother- realised that I was ashamed of what that memory shows. But thankfully, or as far as I know, Harry did not suspect that I loved Lily and to the contrary, I believe he even felt empathy towards me after witnessing the humiliation James and Black inflicted upon me. But every Occlumency lesson that year did not help either; it seemed that everything Harry did reminded me of James or Lily or myself. Do not tell Harry this, but I was about as bad as he was at Occlumency, though I managed to progress much more successfully than he did. When Dumbledore was teaching me, I remembered all of the times I saw my past flash before me, the most common memory being the day I lost Lily’s friendship. Every time Dumbledore forced me to remember my past I was useless, I would collapse on the floor yelling god knows what. I couldn’t push the past out of my mind and I knew that if could just tell someone how I was feeling then maybe I could have been able to push aside those memories. But instead, Dumbledore told me to repress the emotions that arose when I saw my past; he told me that Occlumency was important if I wanted to become a spy and to try my best to ignore what I was feeling for now. After a few more practices I improved and eventually I became rather efficient at Occlumency, but also emotionally detached and neutral. A lot of the emotions I repressed about James came out the moment I saw Harry, but my feelings towards Lily kept hidden and I didn’t know if I would be able to talk about her to you or to anyone. But when Lily asked me to try my hardest to be happy again, as happy as I was when she and I were still friends, I agreed to try my best, but I thought it would be almost impossible for me to be happy without her. She asked me to move on and forgive myself for the hurtful thing I said to her and for giving the Dark Lord the beginnings of the prophecy, and I have tried my best. Although I wish I could take back the things I did, I understand that there is nothing I can do now. Since talking to her I have forgiven myself, but I am not happy. I cannot remember what it feels like to be happy, to look forward to the next day, the future and possibilities. I just exist and I thought, for the nineteen years I secluded myself from the wizarding world, that this was the only way in which I could be happy. But I see you and Harry and your family, and I realise that I am not happy, I just live without any goals or wishes; I simply exist.   
“Last night I realised that part of the reason why I fell in love with her was because she changed me. She gave me hope when I had none; she encouraged me to be brave, to dream and to stand up for myself. She changed who I was and made me realise that I didn’t have to live the same deadening and depressing life my parents had. She convinced me I could be more than that, but when I lost her, I became that nine year old boy who thought that life could never be good. The years that I was friends with Lily were the best of my life and every moment I spent with her are ones I will always remember. When we were friends I loved her for who she was, an amazing girl who was strong, beautiful, generous and intelligent, but after fifth year, I missed her deeply because I missed the person I was when I was with her. I missed being happy, I missed the talks we used to have and the way she made me feel. The bravery that you and Harry believe I possess would not be a part of me if it were not for Lily. If she was not a part of my life I would have been like my parents. Instead I was able to live a few years happier than I ever thought I could be and then once she died, everything I did, the bravery, the choices I made, everything was because I wanted to hold on to the small part of me that longed for Lily to come back, the part of me that wanted to be happy again. So what you see, the things I have done, were an attempt for me to feel happy, to feel like I did something worthwhile, that perhaps I am not as useless as I feel. But nothing worked and now I sit here before you just as miserable as either of my parents,” Severus looked up at Ginny, whose mouth was opened slightly.   
Ginny was speechless; she had no idea Severus was so miserable, although she knew he wasn’t happy as such, for him to say that he felt useless and unfulfilled was so painful for Ginny to hear that she could barely breath. She had no idea Severus was so lonely, that he desired to be happy and yet never letting on that he longed for such contentment.  
“How can I do this without her?” Severus whispered, staring at Ginny with such sincerity in his eyes that Ginny forced herself to turn away. In all honesty, she had no idea what to say to Severus, but she wanted to try, even if she failed miserably.  
“You are not like your parents, Severus. You are the one sitting in front of me, you have just poured your heart out to me, telling me how much you want to be happy, because you miss the feeling and yet… I have no idea what to say to you,” Ginny said, tears forming in her eyes, though she tried her hardest to stop them from falling.  
“I have a wonderful family both when I was young and at present. My life has not always been happy: such as when Voldemort possessed me, when Fred died and when Lily, Albus’ twin sister passed away. These were some of the scariest and upsetting moments of my life. But I managed to recover and be strong because I wanted to be happy and I knew that the only person who could make me happy was me. So maybe- I don’t know- maybe you could try being happy too, just because you want to be. And- and know that Harry and I are here for you- that we want to help you and now that you have told me everything you want to, know that you can talk about anything you want with Harry or myself. Because I know that without Harry and my family I wouldn’t be happy either. Sometimes it really helps to talk to people, so if you want to say something- anything that may make you feel better, tell me okay? But just know that you have the right to be happy and to enjoy life; Lily would want you to be the person she encouraged you to be, she would want you to be happy and to remember her for all the good times you had together. She clearly meant the world to you; everything you just told me was so moving and heartfelt. I can’t believe that not a single person knows that about you except me. I am so sorry for everything you went through and it’s so terrible that you had no one to talk to and I feel so privileged that you have shared your feelings with me. I am so sorry I can’t tell you how to be happy, but I can tell you that I know you can do it; I believe in you. Lily may have encouraged you to be who you were as a student, but the bravery that Harry, myself and so many other people see in you wasn’t Lily, it was you. Your choices, your actions and the qualities that you possess made you who you are today. And I look at you, I watched you struggling the moment you walked into this room and I knew that the emotions you felt, whatever they were, were deep and powerful. To feel emotions like that, to repress them for so many years and then finally release them must be difficult, but I hope that you feel a little better, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. The very fact that you want to be happy shows that you are above your parents, Severus. It pains me to think that you feel as they did because I know that you are not them and before you even met Lily that was your ultimate goal- to be happy. I have no idea what would make you happy, but if there is anything I can do or anything you want to tell me that you think may help, please tell me. I’ll do anything to help you, Severus,” Ginny said gently, tears still sparkling in her eyes. Severus could see how moved Ginny was and asked himself what he would like to do- if he could do anything in the world, what would he do?  
“What does it feel like to be happy?” Severus asked, not because he truly wanted to know, but because he wanted to see how Ginny would answer such a question.  
Ginny froze, trying to think of how to describe what happiness felt like- what it meant to her. Finally she answered:  
“Happiness makes you feel like you can do anything you want. When you’re happy, whatever you are doing at that very moment is something you feel you could do for the rest of your life. Happiness makes you feel good and it highlights just how much life and the people in it mean to you. Being honest and content and open as you have been tonight generally makes me happy- knowing that you are not hiding anything from anyone. Happiness is a form of freedom and it is a wonderful feeling and I hope someday soon you will be happy, Severus, because I know that you are so deserving of that freedom and I just wish I could give it to you, but I can’t. But I’ll do everything in my power to give you the hope, the drive, the motivation to be happy because I know it’s worth it and I can see how much you want it. I just wish I could reach out right now and give it to you, place it in your heart and lock it in there so you would feel happy, confident and free forever. But I can’t give it to you and I can only hope that you will allow me to help you in any way I can, because you deserve to be happy Severus, after everything you have been through, the ordeal with Lily and the way James and Sirius treated you, after keeping every memory- every feeling locked away for so long, I know that when that day comes- the day you experience happiness for the first time in years, you will never want to let it go and I won’t allow you to, okay?” Ginny said as she reached out, grabbed Severus’ hand and squeezed it.  
“Thank you,” Severus whispered in a shaky voice, as he stood up and pulled Ginny towards him and held her tight.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus” Ginny whispered as she quietly sobbed on Severus’ shoulder.  
Everything Ginny said meant more to Severus than he could ever express to her and as he and Ginny stood together, Severus thought about anything else Ginny may be able to do to help him.  
It took Severus a while, but eventually he thought of something- it wouldn’t be easy, but he wanted to do it- he needed to do it and he knew Harry and Ginny would be able to help him through it.  
Pulling Ginny away from him, Severus held her at arms length and said:  
“I have thought of two things I need to do. I thought about them last night and decided that I couldn’t do it, but after listening to you- if you and Harry come with me, maybe I can…”  
“Where are we going?” Ginny asked.  
Severus smiled a little. “I think I will wait until Harry joins us before explaining it. But remember what you were saying to me not long ago- that being open and honest lifts a weight off your shoulders? Well you are right, I feel better, but there’s still something I feel I need to tell Harry.”  
“Okay,” Ginny said, nodding her head, extremely curious to know what Severus wanted to say to her husband.  
“What time do your children normally go to bed?” Severus asked.  
Ginny looked at the clock on the wall and said:  
“Harry should be putting them into bed very soon. I don’t know if he’ll-”  
And then, as if on cue, there was a quiet knock on the door.  
Ginny moved towards the door and opened it slightly. Seeing that it was Harry, she moved aside and let him in without saying a word, just in case their children were eavesdropping from their bedroom doors.  
“The kids didn’t want to go to sleep, they were extremely curious as to where you both went. The three of them wish you goodnight, Severus,” Harry said turning towards the man and saw that his eyes were red. Then turning to have a proper look at Ginny, he noticed that she too had bloodshot eyes, a few wet tears still visible on her cheeks.  
“Are you both okay?” Harry asked sincerely, looking between Severus and Ginny.  
The two of them nodded.  
“Did you get to talk about Lily?” Harry asked cautiously, not entirely sure what they had discussed and whether they had been upset about something Severus said or something entirely different.  
Severus nodded in response to Harry’s question, but Ginny remained silent and Harry watched her closely and noticed that more tears were pouring down her cheeks. Harry looked at Severus for some kind of explanation, but he seemed just as confused as he was.  
“Ginny, are you okay, sweetie?” Harry asked, pulling his wife towards him. Ginny rested her chin on Harry’s shoulder and whispered so that Severus couldn’t hear:  
“He can’t remember what it feels like to be happy, Harry,” she choked, tears splashing onto Harry’s robes. “You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to listen to him; he told me so much and I- I- I feel s- so much towards him now and he wants to take us somewhere, because he thinks it will help him and I really want to go, but I don’t know how much more I can take.” Ginny began sobbing hysterically, though she was so emotional that Severus could hardly understand what she was saying.  
“Ginny, calm down sweetie; together we’ll both help Severus and wherever it is that he wants to take us, if it helps him, it’ll be worth it right?” Harry whispered reassuringly to his wife, who nodded and let go of Harry and left the room to blow her nose.   
Meanwhile, Harry turned to Severus who asked, sounding concerned:  
“Is she okay?”  
Harry nodded, smiling. “Yes she’s just a little emotional; you must have told her some truly heartfelt things, Severus. But she’ll be okay. How are you?” Harry asked looking at Severus intently because it was clear that he had also been upset.  
“I am fine, but I told Ginny that I wanted to tell you something when you had finished putting your children to bed.”  
Ginny re-entered the bedroom and stood next to Harry.  
“What is it that you wanted to tell us?” Harry asked gently, not wanting to push Severus into anything if he wasn’t ready.  
“Ginny was telling me about the truth and how being open about ones feelings and thoughts can make you feel good and I think that is something I need…” Severus paused and took a deep breath. “I haven’t been completely honest with you,” Severus said looking directly at Harry that he found it a little confronting.  
“In what regard?” Harry questioned, worried that the information Severus was concealing from him may involve Greyback or the safety of his children.  
“I think it would be better if you saw it for yourself,” Severus said.  
“What do you mean?” Harry replied, completely puzzled, Ginny looked equally as shocked.  
Severus withdrew a piece of parchment from his pocket and his wand. Tapping the yellow paper, Harry and Ginny watched as the parchment turned a dark grey and materialized- transformed into what was clearly Dumbledore’s pensieve.  
Harry couldn’t help but be excited; this could only mean one thing.  
Severus then withdrew the vial he had prepared from the previous night and tipped the contents into the stone basin.  
Harry and Ginny were standing there, their jaws dropped; they didn’t know what to expect, but this was something neither of them would have guessed.  
“Last night I put five memories into this vial, thinking that Harry would rather see my past, than hear about it. I thought it would be more of an interest for you to see your parents rather than hear the recounts from me. But after talking to Ginny I realised that perhaps I should come with you… confront my past and what happened to me. After repressing these memories for so long, I think it is necessary for me to experience them to their full extent, so that I can accept what happened between Lily and I. Of course, if one of you wishes to stay and keep an eye on the children, then that’s no prob-”  
“No, we both want to share this with you. I will contact Ron quickly and let him know that Ginny and I are going out. He should still be awake and I am sure he and Hermione could check on the kids every now and then until we return,” Harry asserted, pulling out his wand and sending his Patronus to Ron. A couple of minutes later, Harry saw Ron’s jack russell return and knew that that meant Ron had received his message.  
Harry and Ginny looked uneasily at Severus as if wondering what they should do. Severus turned his back against his two companions and faced the silvery swirling liquid in the basin. Taking a deep breath, he plunged himself head first into his memories.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Severus, Ginny and Harry landed on the grass one after another. Harry recognised the place immediately; the park where Severus told Lily that she was a witch. Looking around, Harry found a 10 year old Severus sitting down on the grass with Lily sitting opposite him. The young boy was pulling out the grass lost in thought, but Lily was watching him with great amusement.  
“What?” Severus asked, smiling a little upon seeing Lily’s expression.  
“You’re pulling out the grass again,” she said grabbing Severus’ hand to stop him from continuing.  
“It gives me something to do, Lily; I’m sick of playing on the swings,” complained Severus.  
“Well tell me more about magic and Hogwarts- oh, when you do you think we’ll get our letters?” Lily asked excitedly, bouncing up and down on the grass.  
“You should get it when you turn 11,” Severus replied as if he had told her at least a hundred times.  
“I can’t wait!”  
“I can tell,” Severus said smiling.  
“Aren’t you excited too?” Lily asked, suddenly looking serious.  
“Yeah, I am, but just not as excited as you,” Severus said poking Lily playfully. “You’re always asking me questions, I could spend my whole life telling you about Hogwarts and you’d still want to know more!”  
Lily laughed. “Well can you blame me? You’ve read so much about magic, but I only just found out that magic actually exists. Also, your mum’s a witch! That must be awesome!”  
“It’s not as great as you’d think,” Severus muttered.  
“Are they still fighting?” Lily asked sympathetically.  
“They never stop,” Severus said as if he’s give anything for his parents to get along. But then his face lit up: “That’s why I’m here with you.”  
“Even though I always ask you questions about the wizarding world?” Lily asked teasingly.  
“Yes, even if you never stop asking me questions I’d rather be here than anywhere else,” Severus said sincerely. Lily’s smile broadened at this and Severus seemed to know what was coming because he leapt up off the grass and ran away before Lily had managed to tackle him.  
“Hey, come back here!” Lily yelled half surprised, half annoyed as she too got up and ran after Severus. Harry noticed that Severus was slowing down, probably on purpose so that Lily could catch him.  
“I gottcha!” Lily screamed as she wrapped her arms around her friend and dragged him to the ground.  
Ginny, Harry and the older Severus had followed their chase for they were now on the other side of the park.  
“So, even though you get bored when I talk about magic and always ask you questions, you still prefer that to anything else?” Lily asked; clearly she didn’t believe him.  
“Yes,” Severus replied simply and honestly. Lily looked a little taken aback.  
“Wouldn’t you prefer to eat icecream or visit Hogwarts castle or use a wand?” Lily asked in disbelief.  
“No,” Severus replied smiling; he knew Lily wouldn’t believe him even if he was being honest.  
“You’re a liar Severus Snape!” she squealed.  
“No I’m not!” Severus protested as best he could, though it was difficult because Lily had started to tickle him.  
“Okay then Sev, if you are telling the truth then look me in the eyes and without blinking or laughing say that you swear you’d rather be here than anywhere else,” Lily said in such a way that Harry could sense that she didn’t believe Sev could do such a thing. Clearly she was challenging him and Severus took up the challenge instantly.  
Sitting up, so that he could see Lily eye to eye, Severus looked into her eyes and said:  
“I would rather be here with you and answer all of your questions than go to Hogwarts, use a wand and even eat icecream.”  
Harry could sense what Lily was thinking. Although she was completely silent, Harry could tell that she was not expecting Severus to succeed. After what felt like forever, Harry noticed the young Severus look concerned as if perhaps he had gone too far and shouldn’t have been so serious and forthright.   
Finally Lily said quietly:  
“We’ve only known each other a month, Sev.”  
“I know,” Severus replied, looking uncomfortable. “But I’ve never had a friend before and I enjoy having someone to talk to.”  
Lily slid along the grass and wrapped her arms around her friend’s neck and said:  
“Thank you, Sev. I love talking to you too-”  
“Especially about Hogwarts, right?” Severus said, smiling broadly as he pulled Lily away from him.  
“Well, now that you mention it…”Lily giggled, smiling mischievously.  
“What did you want to talk about?” Severus asked in a resigned tone.  
“Tell me about the Hogwart’s houses again,” Lily begged as she moved closer to Severus.  
“I’ve told you so many times! I can’t believe you don’t remember what each of the houses’ qualities are!” Severus said, amazed that Lily had such a poor memory.  
But Harry knew better; from the look on his mother’s face, she knew perfectly well what the qualities of each house were, but simply asked Severus to repeat them as if she enjoyed hearing him talk. This made Harry smile.  
“Well basically, Gryffindors are brave, Hufflepuffs are loyal, Ravenclaws are intelligent and Slytherins are resourceful,” Severus said as if he had said that sentence a thousand times.  
“Which house do you think I would be in?” Lily asked in a sweet voice.  
“You’ve asked me this once before Lily and I said I didn’t know,” Severus replied laughing a little probably because of the way Lily asked him.  
“I know, but if you had to have a guess…” Lily pressed on.  
Severus sat there for a moment, apparently considering his answer. Eventually he answered: “I really don’t know. If I were the Sorting Hat I would put you in all four houses because you are brave, loyal, very smart and resourceful too.”  
Lily put on a disappointed face. “But that’s what you said the last time!”  
“I’m sorry, Lily, but I don’t know. So how about I think about my answer a bit more and in the mean time you tell me what house you think I would be in,” Severus suggested in a friendly way.  
Lily smiled and said with confidence: “Well I think you would be in Ravenclaw because you are very smart-”  
“Just because I read all the time,” Severus protested.  
“Yes, but not everyone could learn as much as you do. You want to learn and I think that is important if you want to be intelligent,” Lily pointed out.  
“I suppose… honestly, I would like to be in Ravenclaw, but I bet you I will be in Slytherin,” Severus muttered in defeat.  
“Was your mother in Slytherin?”  
Severus nodded.  
“Well there’s nothing wrong with being in Slytherin- is there?” Lily added when she saw the look Severus gave her.  
“Don’t you remember me saying that out of all the houses at Hogwarts, Slytherins have a bad reputation?”  
“Yes of course I remember you telling me that, Sev, but that doesn’t mean that you will be one of those people,” Lily said reassuringly.   
“Maybe, but I know that if I am in Slytherin, you won’t be.” It was clear that Severus was saddened by this fact.  
“How do you know? Maybe I will be in Slytherin!” Lily protested. “Are you saying that I am not resourceful?” Lily continued, poking Severus in the ribs.  
“No, I’m just saying that you are too good of a person to be in Slytherin,” Severus asserted quietly.  
“Not all people in Slytherin are bad, Severus! Honestly if you keep talking like this perhaps I’ll change my mind about you being in Ravenclaw!” Lily joked, smiling sweetly.  
“I know, but I don’t think you’ll be in Slytherin-”  
“But you think that you will be?” Lily butted in.  
Severus nodded. Lily paused, watching Severus looked miserably at the ground.  
“Oh well,” Lily sighed. “Even if we are in separate houses, it won’t matter,” she said firmly and held Severus’ hand, “because we’ll always be there for each other.”   
Severus looked up. Harry watched the young boy look into Lily’s eyes and finally, he nodded and exhaled.  
“We’ll always be friends okay?” Lily whispered, as if she could sense her friend’s worry and doubt.  
“Always.”

Harry was smiling- he couldn’t help it; he realised that although Severus and Lily didn’t remain friends forever, it made Harry happy that they did have such a good friendship. Although it was apparent that Severus had some doubts, overall he was happy and Harry was relieved that he was right when he spoke to Dumbledore; Severus did enjoy talking with Lily; he was so lonely so the conversation Ginny and Severus had was definitely worthwhile. Harry looked at Ginny who was also smiling as she stared at Lily and Severus who were now running around the park once again. Harry then looked to his other side and saw the present Severus smiling, just a little and Harry was glad that remembering and reliving some of his past memories seemed to be reminding him of how happy he used to be and the good times he once had with Lily.

Suddenly the park and the swings were disappearing in a blur and although the green grass was replaced with a timber floor, and the swings replaced with a bed, Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the older Severus. From looking happy only a second ago, Severus’ expression was now unreadable and Harry had a feeling that the next memory they were about to witness would not be as pleasant as the last.   
Pulling his eyes away from Severus, Harry looked around and noticed the young Severus sitting on a bed in the corner of what Harry presumed was his bedroom. Harry moved to his left to see more clearly into Severus’ eyes and saw that they were blank. Again Harry recognised the expression as being one of detachment; whatever was happening in Severus’ life was clearly something he wanted to escape. But there was silence in the room and in what Harry presumed was the rest of Severus’ house. Harry looked cautiously at the older Snape as if asking what was about to happen, but Severus wasn’t looking in Harry’s direction; on the contrary he had his back to his younger self as if the weakness the young boy was expressing was indecent to him.  
“Severus, what’s-” Severus turned around to face Harry, but the pain he saw in Severus’ face did not need explaining for a thunderous, male voice echoed in their ears.  
“I told you to leave him alone, Eileen! I told him to stay in his room and that’s what he’ll do! He’s not a child you need to baby; he can look after himself!”  
In reply, a hysterical female voice screamed:  
“He just wanted to go and visit one of his friends! There was no reason to be so harsh!”  
“This is my house, my family and I will do whatever the hell I want woman, so stop your whining and bring me a beer!”  
Harry didn’t hear a response from Severus’ mother, but Tobias continued to rave. After a while, Harry stopped listening to the man and watched the young Severus still sitting perfectly still on his bed, his arms wrapped around his knees. If he ever saw a child sitting like that his instinct would be to give them a hug. Knowing that this was Severus’ memory however, he knew that such a desire would be fruitless.   
A rustling just outside the window situated behind Harry distracted everyone in the room. Harry looked over the window pane and saw Lily using a small ladder to climb up through the window. The young Severus looked behind him and leapt up as if preparing to fight; he could not yet see who was trying to get to him. Once Lily’s red hair appeared, the boy did not calm down like Harry would have expected. Severus rushed to the window, helped Lily through and closed it before whispering:  
“You shouldn’t be here.” Severus didn’t sound angry, but scared.  
“I know, but you weren’t at the park so I thought I would come a visit you,” Lily persisted, though she seemed a little disheartened that her presence was so unwelcome.  
“Lily, it’s your birthday today, go home and do something fun, okay?” Severus said quickly as if the sooner Lily left the better.  
“Well thanks for wishing me a happy birthday,” Lily said in disappointment.  
“Happy birthday, Lily. Did you get your letter from Hogwarts?” Severus asked as if hoping that was the only reason why his friend came to visit him, meaning that she would soon be leaving.  
“Yes, I did,” Lily said, the smile returning to her face. “I can’t wait! I sent my reply this morning,” she continued.  
“That’s really great Lily. I’m really sorry I can’t talk about it right now, but my father’s-”  
“If you mention that child one more time!”  
“Well- he’s drunk and he told me to stay in my room so I didn’t want to risk him finding me elsewhere- I’m really sorry I can’t spend the day with you, Lily,” Severus said with such sincerity that Lily’s face softened.  
“I’m not leaving you here by yourself, Sev-”  
“But you must! If my father finds you in here-”  
“I can look after myself,” Lily said, straightening up as if her being a little taller would make all the difference.  
“You don’t understand, Lily. My father may hurt you and I don’t want that. Please go home and I’ll see you tomorrow,” Severus pleaded.  
But Lily stood her ground.  
“I’m not leaving you,” she said defiantly and went to sit on Severus’ bed. But the boy was too quick for her and slid along so that she couldn’t sit down  
“I’ll sit on you,” Lily threatened in a joking manner.  
“Lily, this isn’t a moment to joke around. My father is even meaner than normal when he’s drunk. Please leave, I don’t want you to get hurt,” Severus begged, trying to push Lily away from him and towards the window.  
“You are my friend, Severus. I won’t leave you here listening to them argue again. I could hear them from up the street.”   
Severus said nothing for a moment. “I’ve been through this many times before. I can handle it, okay? I don’t need you here to protect me!” Severus hissed.  
Harry realised that Severus was becoming angrier or perhaps more frightened? Either way, Lily seemed to be sensing the same thing and backed away a little, though she did not leave.  
“You can’t make me leave,” Lily said firmly, though it seemed she was beginning to wonder if that was in fact true.  
But Severus didn’t answer her. He turned away from her and lay on his bed with his back to Lily, Harry, Ginny and his older self.  
Harry quickly looked around at the present day Severus who was not looking at himself, but at Lily, who looked as if she were about to resume their discussion. Harry looked back at the older Severus and saw him close his eyes. It didn’t take long for him to find out why.  
“You knew ten years ago that I didn’t want to marry you! I could never have loved a witch!”  
“You used to!” Pleaded Severus’ mother.  
“How dare you suggest that to me? All that has come of my life is that I live in this pathetic house with a useless wife and a son who I now have to spend good hard earned money on! We didn’t even want him in the first place-”  
“I wanted him!” Eileen cried hysterically.  
“Don’t lie to me! We should have got rid of him- he’s useless and pathetic, I hardly ever see him-”  
“That’s because you’re always yelling!”  
“Well any son of mine would be strong enough to-”  
“He’s only ten years old!”  
“He’s almost a man and yet he’s a skinny, weak, good for nothing kid that I have wasted good money on because of you wouldn’t get rid of him like I told you to!. Who needs women!?” Tobias yelled and Harry heard a scream and knew it meant that the man had hit his wife.  
Harry didn’t know how much more he could hear. He looked slightly to his left and saw that Ginny was in tears. Harry looked behind him and saw that the present Severus had opened his eyes and was clearly upset. Harry saw the man’s shoulders moving up and down as if he was trying to control his anger, frustration and sorrow. But Harry was suddenly distracted by Lily who had frozen, much like Ginny had with tears sparkling in her eyes. Harry watched as his mother lie down next to Severus and put a gentle hand on his shoulder in an effort to turn him onto his back. The poor boy was so distressed that he didn’t bother trying to fight her. Turning onto his back, Harry was surprised to see that the young Severus was not crying; his eyes were dry, but there was no doubt that the boy was in a state of shock. Lily picked up Severus’ arm and lifted it over her so that she could rest her head on his upper arm. Lily turned her head towards Severus’ body and placed her hand on her friend’s chest and began to move it around in slow circles. Although the boy wasn’t uttering a sound, it was clear that he was as distressed as his older self. The young boy was breathing deeply and Lily kept lifting her head slightly to look into his face as if to make sure he was okay. After a couple of minutes, Severus still hadn’t said anything to Lily, so the girl stopped and reached across Severus’ chest and hugged him gently.  
“I’m so sorry, Sev,” she whispered in Severus’ ear.  
The two children lay in silence and despite nothing happening, Harry couldn’t take his eyes off the pair of them. Harry’s heart leapt when he saw a tear fall down the young boy’s face and watched it fall on to Lily’s forehead. His mother must have felt it, because she lifted her head slightly and when she saw that her friend was indeed crying, she returned her head to Severus’ arm and moved her hand to his shoulder. As she ran her hand down his arm, Severus let out a sob, but Lily kept repeating the motion as if hoping it would encourage Severus to express how he was feeling.  
“Don’t hold it in, Sev,” she whispered and as if on command, Severus sobbed, though it seemed to Harry that he was restraining himself so that his parents wouldn’t hear him. Once Severus started crying, Harry saw Lily close her eyes as she continued to hold onto Severus as if she would never let go. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw something moving and turned around to see Severus pacing, but it wasn’t a contemplative pace, but as if he wanted to leave- as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. Clearly he was distressed and Harry approached the man who had experienced so much in his childhood- Harry could only imagine what it would feel like for your parents to not want you, to be shoved aside as if he were a useless pile of dirt. Ginny still had tears pouring down her cheeks and didn’t seem to notice the older Severus’ incessant movement. Regardless, Harry felt compelled towards Severus.   
When he finally reached the man, Severus stopped walking and looked at Harry with such pain in his eyes it was as if he were silently saying: I’m in too much pain to talk, but please don’t ignore me. It took Harry split second and without caring what Severus did, he brought Severus towards him and hugged the damaged, ruined man before him. It seemed that Severus had lost all of his standards, all of the expectations he once had about himself as he hugged Harry back without shame or thought. He needed this; he had to face the emotions of abandonment and worthlessness that he buried when he was learning Occlumency.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus,” Harry whispered, but just as he was about to continue, Lily spoke:  
“Your father doesn’t know you, Sev. If he took the time he would see that you are smart and kind and a wonderful person-”  
“They didn’t even want me,” Severus choked as he continued to stare at the ceiling.  
Lily paused and from what Harry had just heard, Severus seemed to be correct in saying that, but Harry was waiting with bated breath to see what Lily would say to comfort her friend.  
“Because they didn’t know what a wonderful person you would become, Sev! And it’s really sad that your father refuses to know you better-”  
“Because I’m a worthless pile of shit that’s-”  
“Severus, don’t talk about yourself that way!” Lily cried hysterically as she buried her face in Severus’ chest and squeezed him tight. “Don’t you dare listen to a thing your father said! He’s drunk and he has no idea what he’s talking about!”  
“But he’s right, I always stay in my room, I’m never in the same room as him-”  
“Because of the way he treats you!”  
“But if I can’t deal with that then my father was right!”  
“NO! Severus, listen to me! No one would choose to be in contact with someone who treats them like your father treats you; no one would expect you to-”  
“But he’s my father,” Severus said through his sobs.  
“But he doesn’t act like your father, Sev! He’s a terrible person and no one should ever say that about their child, even if they are drunk!” Lily asserted with such confidence that Harry could tell she would not leave until Severus believed her.  
“I hate him,” Severus whispered as tears continued to fall down his face.  
“I know…”   
“What should I do?” Severus asked Lily in a pleading tone and Harry found it difficult to watch how useless, lost and confused the young boy looked as he stared into Lily’s eyes.  
“You’re going to go to Hogwarts next year and you’re going to be the top of every class. You’ll earn lots of respect and have a lot of friends, and one day when you’re successful you’ll be able to prove to your father that you are not worthless, but a wonderful person who deserves kindness and respect even if he can’t see it,” Lily answered. “Prove to him that you can be better than he ever thought you could be, Sev.”  
“But what if it’s not enough?”  
“Severus, when I have children, if have a son who is half as brave, intelligent and kind as you I would be really happy-”  
“But you would love your children, Lily. My father doesn’t even care-”  
“And perhaps he doesn’t, but your mother stood up for you-”  
“Yeah but she doesn’t love me either; she just feels sorry for me,” Severus muttered.  
Lily placed her head on Severus’ arm once again and the two children lay in silence for a while.   
Harry drew his attention back to the older Severus and saw that he had tears in his eyes as he stared at his younger self with the girl he loved. Harry looked at his wife and saw that she too was staring at the two young children lying on the bed. Seeing that the present day Severus was upset, Harry again moved towards the man and put his arm around him. Severus didn’t respond, but continued to stare as if he hadn’t noticed that Harry was next to him.  
Harry was going to tell Severus exactly what Lily had told his younger self, so didn’t feel the need to say anything, but show his every support for his mother’s words.  
Harry barely noticed it, but in the silence that enveloped the room, Harry could hear his mother whispering something and strained his ears to hear her:  
“You mean so much to me Severus; your parents may not love you, but I do and don’t you ever forget that.”  
The older Severus, moved swiftly out of Harry’s one armed grasp and put his head in his arms as he rested against the window sill, breathing deeply. Harry placed his hand on Severus’ back and rubbed it a bit, thankful that Severus didn’t push him away. Perhaps it was just him remembering how much Lily loved him that was causing him to act this way… Harry wasn’t sure and turned around to look at Ginny, for she too had noticed Severus’ sudden movement, but unlike Harry she wasn’t confused; it was as if she understood something. But just when Harry was about to ask her, the scene changed again. This seemed to bring Severus around; he straightened up, but allowed Harry to continue comforting him even though no words had been spoken between the two men. 

Harry recognised the place immediately as the grassy bank near the lake in the grounds of Hogwarts.  
It looked to Harry as if his mother and the younger Severus were in their first year, they didn’t look all that different from the last memory. The older Severus sat very close to the two children and Harry thought this to be a little strange, but followed suit and sat to Severus’ right. Ginny also sat down on the bank and gave Harry a significant look as if she knew what this conversation meant to Severus.  
“Did you hear what Professor Slughorn was saying in potions today?” Lily asked Severus, looking at him eagerly.  
Severus smiled: “You mean when he talked about the Deathly Hallows?” Severus asked in mock stupidity.  
“Yeah, I’ve never heard of that tale before, do you think it’s true?” Lily queried her eyes wide with interest and excitement.  
“I hadn’t heard about it either, my mother never had time to read to me… I don’t know, I guess it could be true…”  
“If they did exist, but you could only choose one of them, which one would you choose?” Lily asked with great interest as she stared intently at Severus.  
Severus paused as if considering his answer, then said:  
“The Elder Wand.”  
“Why?” Lily asked taken aback as if she was not expecting that answer.  
“So then I could use it against Potter and Black,” Severus replied aggressively.  
Lily didn’t reply, but seemed to think that that was a reasonable answer.  
“Which would you choose?” Severus continued in an effort to break the uncomfortable silence.  
“I think I would like the Resurrection Stone because if someone I love died, I would at least be able to say goodbye to them if I didn’t get that chance while they were alive,” Lily reasoned.  
Severus seemed to take in what Lily was saying, finally announcing:  
“Maybe I would choose the Stone too…”  
“Why did you change your mind?” Lily demanded with her hands on her hips as if she thought Severus had lied to her previously.  
“Because,” Severus said defiantly. “I just changed my mind.”  
“Okay well in that case, who would resurrect?”  
“No one at the moment, seeing as all the people I care about are alive…”  
“Okay well pretend that you were the only person left on earth, who would you resurrect first?” Lily pressed on.  
“You,” Severus said simply.  
“Me?” Lily repeated in disbelief.  
“Yeah,” the boy muttered, looking at the ground as if wondering whether he had said too much.  
“Well that’s good because the first person I’d resurrect would be you!” Lily exclaimed.  
Although many people may think that Lily was just saying this to make Severus happy; Harry had the distinct feeling that Lily was being truthful, though she was trying not to be serious about it.  
“Really?” Severus asked, hope returning to his eyes.  
“Really,” Lily said as she nudged him, causing Severus to fall sideways.  
“Hey! What was that for?” Severus asked, though he was smiling.  
“For you being so silly to think that I wouldn’t resurrect you! You’re my best friend, Sev, I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Lily said kindly with a smile on her face, but Harry could tell that she was being serious, and apparently, Severus could also sense her sincerity.  
Suddenly, the older Severus stood up from the bank and walked away. Harry looked at Ginny bewildered and again, his wife returned his confused expression with a look of understanding; Harry hoped that soon he would find out what Ginny knew that he didn’t…  
“So it’s settled then,” Lily continued as she stood up from the grassy bank. “If either of us get the chance to use the Resurrection Stone, we must promise to use it to resurrect the other person, okay?” She asked excitedly, holding out her hand to help Severus up from the ground.  
“Okay, I promise,” Severus said smiling.   
“And I promise too,” Lily said cheerfully. “Though I hope I don’t die too soon; I don’t want to die without you, Sev.”  
The young boy smiled at the optimism and wishes of his friend: “But if we die at the same time, neither of us can use the stone to resurrect the other,” Severus pointed out though it was clear that he truly appreciated the assertion of loyalty and love Lily just expressed.  
Lily paused for a moment and then laughed: “I guess you’re right, Sev! Oh well, I suppose my plan isn’t going to work after all. Instead we can promise to stay together forever,” Lily joked.  
“I promise,” Severus said, laughing.  
“Me too!” Lily yelled happily.   
Harry could tell the two children were not being serious in their manner, but he had the feeling that at that moment, both Lily and Sev intended to spend the rest of their lives together.  
Harry watched the two children run towards the older Severus who was only a few metres away, looking disgusted as he watched his child self run past him. Harry was concerned as to why Severus seemed so angry; he thought that this memory was a nice one and it explained a little of the conversation he heard between Severus and Lily in the forest not long ago. Ginny walked up to Severus and whispered something to him. Severus nodded and Ginny smiled, though Severus didn’t return the expression. Harry was just about to ask what it was that Ginny had said to Severus, but the scene changed yet again.

Again Harry recognised the scene, they were definitely in the Entrance Hall and it looked exactly how Harry remembered it from his days at Hogwarts.  
Looking around for the young Severus, he finally saw the boy walking down the spiral staircase into the main entrance. Harry watched as the boy crouched at the bottom of the stair case behind a statue as if he were hiding from someone. Harry approached the boy and noticed that he was much older now; probably about fifteen years old. Harry wondered what he was doing and turned to the older Severus for answers, but the man was looking at the top of the staircase where Lily and four of her Gryffindor friends were about to walk down. The younger Severus saw her approaching and seemed to be preparing himself for something. The moment Lily’s foot touched the floor of the Entrance Hall, Severus said urgently:  
“Lily-”  
Harry’s mother turned around with a scowl on her face and Harry knew this memory must have taken place after Severus called Lily a ‘Mudblood’.  
“Stay away from me, Severus!” Lily yelled aggressively at Snape. If Harry were Severus he would have backed away, but it seemed Snape was used to this by now and continued:  
“Please let me explain-”  
“There’s nothing you can say Severus-”  
“But if you just-”  
“I don’t want to hear it! Now leave me alone!” Lily yelled as she walked through the front oak doors and into the grounds. Harry saw the older Severus standing near the door and watched as the man clenched and unclenched his jaw as he stared after Lily.  
But the younger Severus wasn’t giving up yet. He ran forwards and put out his arms to stop the door from closing on him.  
“Why won’t you listen to me for two seconds?!” Severus screamed at Lily, who turned around and growled through her teeth:  
“Because you are not the guy I thought you were. Now stop following me!”  
“No!” Severus retorted and stood his ground in between the two doors.  
Lily whispered something to her friends, who laughed and Harry knew that whatever was about to happen would not be good. Lily marched up towards the castle and stood directly opposite Severus, her arms on her hips; she was white with fury. Harry noticed that people in the Entrance Hall had stopped moving; everyone’s eyes seemed to be on Severus and Lily.  
“Yesterday you called me a Mudblood Severus! A Mudblood! You’re just like them, thinking that people who are Muggleborn are worthless. I realise now that I was wrong; you deserve to be in Slytherin and I hope you’re happy that you finally fit in! But don’t come crawling after me to beg for my forgiveness because you don’t deserve it, Severus! You betrayed me!” Lily yelled with angry tears in her eyes.  
“But, Lily I-”  
“I don’t care what you’ve got to say! Nothing you can say will make up for what you said to me and I will never forgive you! We are no longer friends; you have insulted me and made me feel worthless! There have been times in the past where you have felt worthless too and I was always there for you. But you didn’t return the favour- you don’t care about me, Severus! All those times- you lied to me!”  
“Lily, can we talk in private?” Severus begged quietly, realising that everyone in the Entrance Hall and the grounds were watching them.  
“No! They should know what you did! You are despicable and cruel and you will never make your father proud!”  
“Mum!” Harry yelled. Harry couldn’t believe what his mother had just said: everything she had been saying up until now was terrible and hurtful, but this was cruel and as Harry looked at the younger Severus he saw the hurt and pain evident on the boy’s face.  
Apparently satisfied that she had hurt Severus as much as he hurt her the previous day, Lily maintained eye contact with Severus and Harry saw a flicker of regret in his mother’s eyes; Harry had the feeling, that even she thought those words were harsh. Harry was outraged that his mother would say such a thing; Severus only wanted to talk to her, couldn’t she have given him two minutes, even if he didn’t deserve it?  
“Please, Lily-”  
“Just listen to him, Mum!” Harry pleaded with his fifteen year old mother, so disappointed that his mother wasn’t giving Severus a chance to speak.  
“No! Just give up Severus! What you said to me is unforgivable- no, stop following me,” she added as Severus took two steps towards her. Harry watched as his mother held the handle of the two oak doors and slammed them in Severus’ face. The young boy stood there in shock, staring at the doors that had just been shut in his face. The poor boy looked angry and upset, but seemed to be withholding these emotions especially with so many other students watching him. Slowly the people in the Entrance Hall began moving and gossiping once more. Students in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw gave Severus scathing looks as they walked past, but many of the Slytherins clapped Severus on the back and praised him for his doings the day before. But Severus brushed them away and walked into an empty classroom and slammed the door. Harry and Ginny looked at each other and then at the older Severus who was looking at the closed front doors as if the emotions from that day were coming back to him. Ginny walked towards Severus and stood next to him, gently wrapped her hand around his, and pulled him into the classroom where his younger self was sure to be. Severus didn’t struggle against Ginny, but followed her into the classroom as if they were ghosts gliding through the solid door. Harry looked around and saw that most of the students had resumed their usual activities, but Harry’s heart leapt when he saw his father, James standing at the top of the staircase and Harry knew he had seen Severus walk into the empty classroom. Knowing that nothing good could possibly come of this, Harry followed his wife and Severus into the room, hoping that the young Severus wasn’t about to experience any more humiliation, at least for the rest of the day.  
The moment Harry entered the classroom, however, he ducked for a chair had just come flying at him. Although Harry knew that nothing in Severus’ memory could physically hurt him, he ducked out of reflex. After recovering, he heard sobs coming from the boy but he was also yelling and throwing as many objects as he could reach. He didn’t seem to care if a teacher walked in; they would most likely put him on detention. He seemed to be beyond caring. As the young Severus continued to destroy several of the desks and chairs in the room, Harry was forced to remember the occasion when he did a similar thing in Dumbledore’ office during his fifth year and felt great empathy towards the boy.  
“We’re friends! How could she think I would purposefully do that to her?!” Severus yelled through his sobs. “She meant everything to me- she knew that- I never wanted to hurt her! Why wouldn’t she let me speak to her?” Severus asked himself. He looked exhausted and had stopped throwing things around. He now sat on the only upright desk. Resting his head in his hands, the young Severus sobbed openly.  
“I’m so sorry, Lily,” he whispered and Harry felt so sorry for Severus; he had no idea he had such a terrible conversation with his mother over his calling her a ‘Mudblood’. Harry appreciated that there was so much he didn’t know about Severus’ past and was grateful that Severus was willing to show him some of the deepest and hurtful feelings he must possess. If Severus had indeed repressed these memories for so many years, Harry understood why Severus wasn’t happy and why he thought that confronting them may help. Although the older Severus was clearly distracted and distraught having seen this painful memory again, Harry hoped that in the long run, it would help him understand what happened between him and Lily.  
“Lily should have listened to you Severus,” Harry said to the older Severus. “She may have been offended by what you said, but after everything you have been through together… I can’t believe she didn’t give you a chance to explain…” Harry said quietly, dumbfounded that his mother was so harsh to her best friend.  
But Severus didn’t answer; instead he averted his eyes to his younger self who was still sitting on the table sobbing. But Severus didn’t look angry or upset like Harry thought he would; instead Severus looked kindly upon the boy, an expression that Harry had never seen Severus display. Harry knew Severus was finally confronting some of the painful emotions Dumbledore encouraged him to hide and Harry could tell, from the look on Severus’ face, that he had accepted the poor, sobbing boy as a part of him.  
Harry watched a tear fall down Severus’ face and knew that he wasn’t angry or disgraced that his younger self was giving in to emotion- giving in to weakness, but sympathetic and upset; finally Severus was accepting the emotions and the pain he felt that day, instead of pushing them aside like he had been for so many years.  
Harry was content in watching Severus and the way he was looking at his younger self, but was distracted by the movement of the door handle. The young Severus looked up sharply and withdrew his wand, tears still pouring down his face. Ginny and the older Severus looked towards the door, but Harry was transfixed by the latter’s expression: Severus had a determined look on his face- obviously he knew what was coming and Harry held his breath in the hope that it wasn’t his father and Sirius coming to give the poor boy a more difficult day than he was already having.

Harry groaned quietly when he saw his father walk in- the first time he had not been happy to see his dad. He felt a little guilty for this, but at the same time, he knew that whatever was about to happen would only make him think worse of his father.  
James Potter opened the door quickly and behind him followed Sirius, Lupin and Pettigrew, all of whom ran in, shutting the door behind them before peeking through the small gap in the door, apparently looking out for someone.  
“There he is,” Sirius whispered excitedly as he pointed at some boy that Harry couldn’t see. “Look at him; he has no idea where we went!”  
“He always had it coming to him. He should keep his nose out of our business,” James said.   
Harry was watching with bated breath. It seemed that none of the Marauders had noticed that Severus was standing right behind them. The young Severus seemed to have frozen at the sight of them; obviously he wasn’t expecting all four of them to invade his privacy. But Harry watched as Snape shook himself free of the shock and with their backs still towards him, Snape used Levicorpus on each boy. He was so fast that they didn’t even realise what was happening until they were all hanging upside down.  
“What the?” Remus yelled as he was the last to be magicked and looked perplexed as he stared down the line of his best friends.   
“Oh come on Moony, although we can’t see him, we know who’s in here,” James snarled.  
“Come out, Snivellus!” Sirius shouted “and face us like a man!”  
Severus laughed; it was cold and harsh and Harry was a little worried that they couldn’t see Severus’ face because Harry knew that he would want to know if someone was looking at him that way- he’d run.   
And before the boys knew what was happening, their wands were flying out of their hands towards Severus. It was clear to Harry that Snape was enjoying this opportunity immensely.  
“And play by the rules? No, I’m taking this opportunity to get revenge. Now I bet you wish you would actually have duels with me instead of cursing me behind my back and always having at least two against one. It isn’t fair is it? Perhaps now you’ll understand,” Severus hissed as he approached the four hanging bodies.  
“Where is he?” Pettrigrew whined in a high pitched voice. “I can’t see him.”  
“Neither can we Wormtail, but don’t worry; we’ll get him,” Sirius reassured his friend.  
But Harry seriously wondered whether Sirius and his friends would be able get revenge. By the look on Severus’ face he was still upset about the argument he had with Lily and now that the people who humiliated him the previous day and all the years previously were hanging upside down, completely defenseless, Snape didn’t look like he was going to give in to the people who ultimately lost him his best friend.  
“Without wands? I find that hard to believe Black,” Snape sneered; it seemed he was enjoying the moment, seeing the four boys who had made his life a living hell, hanging upside down by their ankles.  
“Get on with it then, Snivellus, we haven’t got all day,” Sirius said impatiently, not a single ounce of fear in his eyes, but Wormtail looked terrified.  
Snape gave an evil grin and said: “I would, but I’m trying to think of a curse to use on you; if Crucio wasn’t illegal I would probably use that, but I don’t really want to go to Azkaban anytime soon,” Severus said as if he were talking to himself, though the four Marauders heard every word.  
Wormtail looked on the point of tears, Remus and Sirius seemed reasonably calm, but James looked as if he were about to say something, but wasn’t quite sure exactly what words to use.  
“But- but we’re defenseless!” Wormtail squealed. “We have no way of stopping you.” He said quietly looking tearfully at Severus.  
“Well that is the point,” Snape snarled. “After all do you ever recall your friends here,” pointing at James and Sirius “ever having a fair duel?”  
Wormtail whimpered.  
“Snape, don’t do you something you may regret,” Remus said calmly, watching him with wide eyes.  
“There is nothing I will regret- I have nothing to lose-”  
“Well that implies that you once had something to lose,” Sirius pointed out triumphantly. Snape glided over to Sirius and stood directly in front of him, his wand pointing in between Black’s eyes.  
“Seeing as I won’t use Crucio, what would be your second choice? Sectumsempra, perhaps?” Snape asked through clenched teeth.  
“And what is this Sectumsempra thing? Sounds dodgy to me; you must have made it up, Snivellus,” Black sneered.  
Severus laughed humourlessly.  
“In fact, I did make it up, my own creation. Your dear friend, Potter over here, got a little taste of it yesterday-”  
“When you slashed at my face?” James asked and as Harry looked closer at his father, he could see a small scar across his cheek.  
“Yes,” Snape hissed.  
The expression on all of the boys’ faces was unmistakable. It seemed as if they finally realised just how serious Severus was being and without wands they knew there was no way of protecting themselves. Sirius seemed to be the only one who was still trying to put on a brave face.  
“You wouldn’t do that to us,” Sirius asserted, though he didn’t sound confident.  
“Shall we test that theory?” Snape asked, looking at the other three boys in turn. Wormtail was shaking his head furiously, Remus seemed to be silently hoping that Severus would change his mind, but James still looked as if he wanted to say something. Apparently, Severus noticed this too for he went and stood in front of James and said:  
“Perhaps you should be first,” Snape suggested, taking a few steps back and raising his wand.  
“Snape stop,” James said calmly. Severus sneered; he seemed to be expecting this as James had hardly said anything since they entered the room.  
“What, Potter? You think there is a more appropriate spell to use? Well of course, for you I would probably prefer to use Crucio and then an Avada Kedavra, there is no doubt that you deserve it, but unfortunately they are forbidden by law, but if I-”  
“I don’t understand something,” Remus interrupted. Snape spun around so fast that Harry was sure Snape was about to jinx him right there and then.  
“You have sought to humiliate us before, but you’ve never given death threats-”  
“Or torture threats,” piped up Wormtail.  
“Perhaps Snivellus is confused and can’t make up his mind. Perhaps he’s confunded,” Sirius suggested and let out a bark-like laugh.  
“That’s it!” Severus hissed under his breath as he took a few steps back and held out his wand and facing Sirius.  
“Snape, stop!” James yelled.  
“And why should I even consider listening to you?”  
“I am the one who deserves the punishment; Remus, Peter and Sirius are innocent-”  
“You all deserve to be punished for what you have done and I am not leaving until you are all in pain!”  
“I saw what happened this morning,” James said quietly, looking directly at Severus. “I did that and no one else. I take responsibility for that so if you are wanting to use Sectumsempra or whatever the spell is called, use it on me- not them,” James said looking worriedly down his line of friends.  
“Oh so you’re trying to be noble?” Snape sneered.  
“What happened this morning?” Sirius asked looking between Snape and James. James looked at Severus whose facial expression was no longer of fury, but of fear. James stared at his nemesis a little longer before saying:  
“It is none of our business,” James said quietly.  
“But you know about it, Prongs,” Sirius pointed out. “You can tell us.”  
“Yeah what exactly are you taking the blame for?” Lupin asked, looking down the line at James.  
“It doesn’t matter mate,” James asserted. “Snape, please.”  
“You can’t take this all upon yourself James; we’re in this together,” Remus persisted.  
“No, you don’t understand. This really wasn’t a good time for us to be caught unawares by Snape,” James said in a serious tone.  
“What do you mean? What do you know?” Sirius demanded.  
“I’m not telling, it’s none of our business.”  
“Well if it’s something to do with Snivellus, it won’t matter will it?”  
“Padfoot stay out of it!” James said aggressively.  
“What’s with you Prongs? Are you actually standing up for Snivelly?” Sirius asked, both affronted and concerned.  
“Just shut up, okay?”  
“No! Not until you tell me why you are acting so ridiculous! We are not leaving you here with him!”  
“Why? You think I can’t look after myself?”  
“Well if what you’re saying is true, Snivellus may actually hurt you-”  
“I’m hoping he won’t-”  
“Are you crazy? What are you going to do? Talk to him?”  
“Well- yes- that is my plan, but it’s not going to work if you keep calling him ‘Snivellus’,” James retorted at an aggravated Sirius.  
“You can’t talk to Slytherins, they don’t care who they hurt as we witnessed yesterday-”  
A jet of red light flew through the air and hit Sirius squarely in the chest. The boy hit hard against the wall and slid down, completely unconscious; Wormtail whimpered, but James seemed to be expecting it.  
“Forgot I was here did you?” Snape asked James, his wand still held at the ready.  
“Now that you and Black have stopped conversing like girls, where was I? Oh yes, Sectumsempra-”  
“No! Let Remus and Peter go first-”  
“And give them to opportunity to tell a teacher?” Severus sneered. “Contrary to what your friend believes, I am not stupid-”  
“Well then do something to prevent them from hearing what I am about to say, unless you want them to know what I saw this morning,” James said aggressively.  
Harry could hardly believe what was happening. James wasn’t just being brave and putting his friend’s safety before his own- he actually was considerate of Severus’ feelings.  
Snape looked at James for a couple of minutes, as if deciding whether the man was being serious or not. Finally, Snape used Petrificus Totalus against Pettigrew and Remus, causing them to fall heavily onto the ground and then muttered: “Muffilato” so that all they could hear was a ringing in their ears.   
“What do you want? What is it that is so important that you don’t want your best friends to hear?” Snape demanded, perhaps it was his continued anger that was preventing the man from realising the obvious answer to that question.  
“The argument you had with Lily in the Entrance Hall, I heard it,” James said quietly. “I didn’t think you would want these three knowing about it.”  
Snape froze and it seemed to Harry that the young Severus wasn’t expecting that.  
“So is that why you came in here not long after? To laugh at me, see if I was still crying about it?”  
James shook his head. “No we were hiding from someone, though I did suspect you would still be in here,” James admitted.  
“Just for that and for what you did to me yesterday, you deserve the worst I can give you. I don’t care about being expelled as long as I have the satisfaction of knowing that I have paid you back for yesterday and for every other time that you have humiliated me in front of Lily as if I am some animal that you can just play with. I never did anything to you, but you have done everything to me! You deserve this Potter,” Snape growled.  
“Sectum-”  
“I’m sorry!” James yelled, terror evident in his eyes.  
Harry was looking quickly between Snape and James; he was not sure what was going to happen, but was thankful that at least Snape didn’t finish the curse.  
“You’re sorry?” Severus spat in James face. “Don’t make me laugh; you thought that would get you out of this?”  
“That’s not why I said it; I am actually sorry-”  
“At least tell me something I’ll believe,” Severus said as if he were bored with all the talking. But from what Harry could tell his father was being very serious.  
“I’m not lying,” James continued and Harry saw, for a moment, an expression in Snape’s eyes that he believed James too. In Severus’ silence, James seemed to take the opportunity to continue: “I am not expecting you to let me go and I will not pretend that I am sorry for all the other things I have done, but I am sorry for what I did yesterday, or rather what happened as a result of yesterday,” James corrected himself.  
“You’re just saying these things to make yourself feel better. You don’t give a damn about me and inside you realise that you now have Lily all to yourself!”  
“She doesn’t like me anyway-”  
“No, she doesn’t, but that won’t stop you from trying! And after what happened yesterday, she’ll probably hail you because you finally revealed to her that I am the Slytherin you always believed I was- you saved her from a terrible person, you should feel very proud,” Snape said, sarcasm drenching his voice.  
“I would not want Lily to like me for that reason; I want her to be friends with me because she thinks I am a decent person, not because I showed that you weren’t. And as for that,” James continued on quickly, for it looked like Severus was going to interrupt. “What you said to Lily was mean, unnecessary and a great betrayal of friendship. And yesterday I was happy that I revealed to Lily who I believed you really are, I’ll admit that. But after watching and listening to the argument the two of you had not long ago, I realised I was wrong-”  
“About what?” Snape spat, finding it hard to believe that James would ever think himself incorrect about anything.  
James took a deep breath and said: “Lily wasn’t just your friend was she?”  
Snape’s eyes widened, but didn’t answer.  
“I know you weren’t dating, but you really like her,” James said a little hesitantly as if he was worried Snape may get angry at him asking something so personal.  
“What makes you say that?”  
“If Lily ever looked at me the way she looked at you tonight, I would have given up. If you thought of her as a friend, you would have accepted that you betrayed her trust and given up when you realised she wasn’t going to listen. But you kept persisting until she slammed the door in your face! When I saw that I realised she must have been more than a friend to you. So I am sorry, not for what I did, but because my actions lead you to say things you obviously didn’t mean, which caused you to lose your only friend and someone who obviously meant a lot to you. I know I have done many things to you in the past, but I never intended you to lose Lily, if she really did mean that much to you,” James said so sincerely, that Harry’s heart was racing… Harry had seen and heard of the things his father used to do to Severus, thinking that for Severus’ whole time at Hogwarts, he was the guinea pig of James’ fun- that James simply didn’t give a damn about the man that Harry truly cares about. Is it possible that despite the cruelty and pointless humiliations, that even his father had some sympathy for Severus?  
“But you are nevertheless thrilled that she and I are no longer friends,” Snape reasoned as if it weren’t possible that James could ever be sorry. “You have had a crush on her since our first train ride on the Hogwarts Express-”  
“Yes, but I care about her too. You have already seen how upset she is about this and I now realise that I partially caused it to happen. The things she was yelling at you today… she knew more about you than I ever would have guessed. She was deeply betrayed and the things she was saying were hurtful and if you did cry afterwards, I wouldn’t blame you. The fact is that no one is that harsh unless they were deeply hurt and clearly Lily was. I never wished to cause her such hurt either and even more so, do something that forced her to let go of you, because clearly you meant a lot to her too. I know this means nothing to you now, but just to let you know, as much as I adore Lily and despite how much I despise your demeanor, your love of the Dark Arts, the fact that you are in Slytherin and also the fact that you befriended Lily before I ever had the chance, if I had known this would have happened because of what I did yesterday, I would not have done it.”  
“… is she okay?” Severus asked quietly.  
“She will be and personally, though I would never tell her this myself, I think she should have spoken to you when you asked. That way you could have explained what happened and told her how you feel.”  
Snape began to pace in front of James and Harry watched his father follow Snape with his eyes.  
“It’s obvious, isn’t it? That I called her that word in the moment- wasn’t it obvious that I was angry and humiliated and embarrassed and not thinking straight? She should know after everything we have been through that I never meant to hurt her, I’ve never even considered calling her such a name! Why would she think I turned against her? That I suddenly became a true Slytherin? I hate the shit those people put into my head; I never considered the fact that Lily was Muggleborn; I didn’t give a shit and then I go and say something like that without even thinking-”  
“That word was unfortunately one of the worse names to call someone and although you didn’t mean it, only Lily would have known that at the time; everyone else would have thought her stupid to stay friends with you after that. She should have listened to you, but she isn’t going to forgive you any time soon. I sincerely hope that one day you both resolve it, although if she takes an interest in both of us, I will have to fight you for her,” James said, smiling for the first time since he entered the room and Harry was sure he saw a flicker of a smile on Severus’ face too.  
“So now that I’ve finished talking, what did you want to do to me? I would suggest Rictusempra because although it is meant to make people laugh, it hurts after a while,” James joked as if making light of the situation. Harry could tell his father was secretly hoping that Severus would decide against using Sectumsempra if he suggested another, not as serious curse.  
Severus was looking at James, who was still hanging upside down, as if wondering what he should do to the man.  
With an unreadable look on his face, Severus raised his wand. James closed his eyes, expecting the worse but Snape undid the Levicorpus curse, placing James’ feet firmly on the ground. Looking James directly in the eye he said:  
“I did love her, but obviously not enough-”  
“I’ve said things to Sirius that I don’t mean either, we make mistakes you know,” James pointed out.  
Snape nodded and then said in a firm and serious tone: “Don’t tell her.”  
“Are you going to?” James questioned as if he hoped Snape would.  
“No, she doesn’t need to know and even if she did, she wouldn’t care anymore, that just makes what I said even more of a betrayal.”  
James nodded his understanding and then asked: “Could you please revive my friends and give us back our wands? But um-” he paused looking at Sirius. “I will revive Sirius away from you, just incase he wants revenge.”  
“He’ll get revenge anyway,” Snape muttered.  
“Not if I can help it,” James whispered and Harry smiled; he was not expecting that. He looked over at Ginny who looked just as shocked as Harry did. He then looked at Severus and realised that this was what Snape had been lying about and Harry was glad his father wasn’t the man Severus always said he was.  
Harry watched as Snape released Lupin and Peter from their motionless state, gave them back their wands and watched as James organized himself and his friends to levitate Sirius out of the classroom without being caught by the teachers. Lupin and Pettigrew kept looking between Snape and James with very confused looks on their faces. Of course they had no idea what the two boys said to each other, but for the fact that Snape never once attacked James greatly interested them and Harry had no doubt that the moment they got outside, James would be bombarded by many questions, especially from Sirius.  
Harry was happy, elated; he turned towards Severus and asked with a smile on his face:  
“What happened after this?”  
“James never initiated an attack on me after this. Of course, your Godfather had no idea what was said in this classroom, presumably because James continued to keep it a secret from him. But James tried, however subtly to end any humiliating occurrences Black would spring upon me, whilst still pretending that he was enjoying the torture. We never had a civil conversation again until the next memory. I doubt that James told Lily anything about what I said, especially because at the time Lily was still furious and upset and I don’t think he would have been stupid enough to go there. However, I believe he did tell her some things because of what the next memory shows and also what he said to me when I resurrected him with the Stone-”  
“I was wondering who else you were talking to! So that was my dad?” Harry asked; excited that he wasn’t imagining the other person with whom Severus seemed to be conversing that night- it was his father. “So is this what you wanted to show me?” Harry pressed on.  
Snape nodded. “I have told you previously that your father made my life at Hogwarts a living hell, implying that he continued to humiliate me until we left the school. This isn’t completely true: up until this moment, James would curse or jinx me whenever he had the opportunity, but after I lost Lily as my friend, James stopped humiliating me but seemed to make up for that by dating her and that made me furious, but it was seventh year and for me to get angry or curse James because of it would simply show that I still loved Lily and I doubted she would have been impressed by that.”  
“Did you feel betrayed by my dad?”  
“At first yes, but when I saw that Lily was happy, I decided not to interfere with that,” Severus reasoned.  
“Do you think my dad considered you a friend?” Harry asked, curious to know what kind of feelings Snape thought James held towards him.  
“No, despite what happened, I don’t think he liked me because I was still in Slytherin and he believed that I still loved the Dark Arts. But we did have an understanding; we were honest with each other and I think that made him realise that perhaps I was not as bad as he thought. I never considered him my friend either, but I never forgot that he knew my secret and was grateful that he kept his word in that regard; I’m especially grateful he didn’t tell Black,” Severus added as an afterthought.  
“Why did you want to show me this?” Harry pressed on, wanting to know exactly why Snape felt the need to tell the complete truth.  
“Ginny said to me that being honest is a good feeling. So I decided to test this by showing you that your father, although an overly confident, arrogant teenager did not remain that way until his dying day; he did change for the better and I wanted you to know that although he hated me, he was sympathetic, if only a little and he did try to prevent Black’s advances on me as if he realised that I had suffered enough. Although my sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts were isolating and depressing, I know they would have been a lot worse had James not made the effort to talk to me and persisted even after I rejected his words several times. I do not respect him for what he did to me, but I do respect his sincerity and support when it mattered. So although I would always focus on the negative qualities your father embodied, Harry, he was also a good person, even if he rarely showed that side of himself to me. I think you deserve to know that,” Severus said with great sincerity.  
“Thank you for showing me this,” Harry said. “I’m glad my father stood up for you, even if it was subtly done.” Harry turned to look at the young Severus and saw that he was still in the room staring at the door as if he were thinking hard about what just happened. Although he may have lost Lily, Harry had a feeling that the young Severus was happy to know that this wasn’t entirely his fault and that James was remorseful and took some of the responsibility and guilt. As the young Severus walked out of the room, Harry knew that he felt a little better about himself, though it was ironic that it would be James who helped him through it…

“This is the final memory I want to show you,” Severus announced to Ginny and Harry as the scene before them changed for the last time. Harry again recognised the place immediately as one of the carriages in the Hogwarts Express.  
“The last train ride home from Hogwarts,” Severus said quietly as if he didn’t want to disturb his seventeen year old self sitting alone in the carriage.  
Harry stuck his head through the compartment door and saw his mother and father standing at the other end talking happily. Harry wondered what this memory was going to show, but didn’t want to ask Severus; he wanted it to be a surprise.  
Harry looked at the young Snape who was staring absently out the window. Harry could tell that the boy was sad and knowing that this was the final time Severus would have the chance to speak to Lily, Harry knew that the teenager was hoping Lily would talk to him and forgive him before he left the train.  
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Severus jumped a little, looking hopefully at the door.  
“It’s your father, Harry,” Ginny whispered; she could see James through the opaque glass that covered the door.  
Harry was excited; whatever was about to happen would be the second conversation the older Severus was previously talking about.   
Severus didn’t answer James’ knock, but Potter decided to let himself in, which Harry thought was a pretty brave move.  
James sat opposite Snape and watched him closely as Snape continued to stare into nothingness. After a moment’s pause, James said hesitantly:  
“Snape?”  
Snape turned his head slightly and Harry saw that the boy looked tired; somehow Harry had a feeling that Severus would not be arguing or dueling with James anytime soon.  
“What do you want?” Snape asked monotonously.  
“Um, because Lily still doesn’t know about the conversation we had a couple of years ago, she doesn’t realise that I actually don’t hate your guts… she hasn’t mentioned if you two have- um…”  
“Spit it out Potter!” Snape spat aggressively as if James uncertainty and weakness offended him.  
“Have you talked to her about what happened that day? Have you reconciled?” James asked cautiously, not wanting another outburst from Snape.  
Severus shook his head gloomily and continued to look out of the window.   
James continued to stand there, looking uncomfortable when Snape suddenly said with great aggression:  
“Why do you care anyway? You have what you want, what does it matter to you?”  
James seemed taken aback by Severus’ sudden desire to talk, but made to answer immediately.  
“I think Lily wants to say something to you, but she doesn’t want to talk to me about it because she thinks I still despise you. So I thought I would ask if you had had the chance to talk and now that I know you haven’t, I am pretty certain that that’s what’s bothering her…” James said thoughtfully.  
“Right, well now you know, so leave,” Severus barked harshly as he looked into James’ eyes with tremendous fury.  
“I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted,” James whispered.  
“Bull shit,” Severus retorted. “I hope you have a great life,” Snape said with great sarcasm.  
James seemed to think that this was a sign for him to leave, but as he reached the door and was about to open it when he said:  
“I know this won’t make things any better, but I thought that you should be the first to know, whether or not you want to hear it-” Severus pulled his gaze away from the scenery beyond the window to look at James. “I plan to ask Lily to marry me soon…” James asserted, though he seemed to be holding his breath as if preparing for Severus to yell at him.  
Harry turned to look at the young Severus who was obviously dumbfounded. Whilst Snape seemed to be processing what he had just heard, James continued to stand there waiting for a reply.  
Without warning, Severus stood up so fast, that even Harry moved a step backwards. Surprisingly, James stood perfectly still as if preparing for the worst Severus could inflict upon him whilst on the Hogwarts Express.  
Snape stood directly opposite James and said in a quiet, however harsh voice:  
“You have taken away any hope I had of getting Lily back and for destroying any chance I had of happiness. But I always believed that if it wasn’t me, then it would be you. So congratulations,” Severus put out his hand and James shook it looking completely dumbstruck.   
“I thought you would curse me or something,” James said in complete shock.  
“I normally would have, but I am not in the mood to fight,” Severus said in resignation.  
“Well, thank you and I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.”  
Snape nodded as James went to let himself out.   
“Take care of her,” Severus whispered and Harry thought he could see the first sign of tears in Severus’ eyes.  
“I will,” James whispered back and then, letting go of the door, he placed a hand on Severus’ shoulder:  
“I’m sorry, Severus.” Snape turned away from James, who took this opportunity to leave. Harry watched as the young Severus slumped back onto the chair and watched him stare out the window, silent tears pouring down his cheeks.  
“That must have been so hard, Severus,” Ginny said sympathetically, initiating conversation.  
The older Severus nodded and the two adults began conversing quietly. In the mean time, Harry walked through the compartment and went to find his father. He was with his mother at the opposite end of the corridor again so ventured closer to hear what they were saying.  
“Are you thinking about Snape, Lily?” James asked gently, and it was only then that Harry noticed his mother seemed unhappy.  
Lily looked sharply at James and said defiantly: “No!”  
James held up his hands in surrender. “I was just asking, because if you are hoping to speak to him, now may be a good time, there’s no one in the compartment with him, I just checked,” informed James.  
Lily didn’t reply, but somehow James knew to leave his girlfriend alone for a moment. Harry watched his father leave, but then turned his attention back to Lily. The corridor was empty and after double checking this fact, Lily brought out her wand and whispered:   
“Expecto Patronum.” Harry smiled as he watched the silver doe, a Patronus he had only ever seen float out of Severus’ wand, gallop gently into the corridor and face Lily. Lily smiled sadly at it and then did the appropriate charm to embed a particular message for it to deliver, Harry could only assume, to Severus. Harry wondered how his mother could have known how to do this. He remembered Dumbledore himself informing him that he had taught all of the members of the Order how to communicate via this method, but was it possible that Lily and perhaps James too, had already been inducted and taught something so complicated? Was the threat of Voldemort really that extreme at this point in time? Harry had no idea, but nevertheless, he knew he didn’t want to miss the moment when the young Severus received the message. Running back down the corridor and walking through the compartment door once more, Harry arrived just in time to see the reaction on Severus’ face; he seemed both glad and disappointed when he laid eyes on the doe.  
“Severus, I really wish I had the courage to talk to you one last time and tell you this myself, but I can’t… it’s just too painful. Because this may be the last time I ever get to communicate with you, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry we never sorted this out. Although it took me a long time to get over what you said to me, I still missed you- I really did. But I just couldn’t be with you; after what you said, I knew I would never forget it- I didn’t know if I would have been able to trust you again… I hope you are okay, I’m sure you’ve already moved on by now, but I just thought I would let you know that I forgive you and I really miss you. Take care of yourself, Sev. Love Lily.”  
Harry watched, though he was trying to stop any tears from falling, as the beautiful doe, instead of disappearing into nothingness, bent her beautiful head and nudged Severus’ cheek affectionately. Although the young man couldn’t touch it, he made the motion of holding the doe’s head tenderly and Harry saw the boy give a single sob as he closed his eyes. Then as suddenly as she appeared, the doe was gone.  
Harry, Ginny and the older Severus stood there watching the boy recover from his tears, each of them feeling equally as empathetic towards what the boy had just lost- what he had just experienced.   
Once Severus had wiped away his tears and took a deep breath, he pulled out his own wand and said: “Expecto Patronum.”  
Harry watched as the boy’s face changed from being filled with determination, as if he were going to discover for himself how verbal messages were sent via Patronuses so he could send one back to Lily, to one of complete shock. Severus stared dumbfounded at the beautiful doe he just conjured. His jaw dropped slightly.  
“That was the first time I ever produced a Patronus,” the older Severus commentated. “I had tried in class, but didn’t have the motivation or a happy enough memory,” he continued.  
Harry, Ginny and the older Severus continued to watch the younger Severus stare at and study the Patronus in front of him as if he were wondering how he could have the same Patronus as Lily.  
“Oh my god,” the older Severus whispered, and Harry noticed the man was staring at the compartment door. There was no mistaking it; Lily was on the other side and there was no doubt in Harry’s mind that his mother could see Snape’s Patronus.  
Walking out of the compartment, Harry was able to get closer to his mother. It seemed that Lily stood there for ages, so long in fact that Harry’s long absence was noticed by Ginny and the older Severus who followed Harry’s lead. All three of them were now watching Lily who couldn’t take her eyes off Severus.  
From a distance, Harry could see James walking down the corridor. Lily quickly wiped away her tears, but she was too late, James could already tell that she was upset. Putting his arm around her, he looked into the compartment and there as no mistaking his shock either.  
“That’s not my Patronus, James. I saw him conjure it,” Lily whispered tearfully.  
“He must truly love you Lily,” James whispered back, kissing Lily on the top of her head and giving her a hug.  
“I’ll meet you back in our compartment okay?” James said kindly.  
Lily nodded and Harry watched his father walk away.  
Lily continued to stare at the young Severus as tears began to fall down her cheeks once again.  
“I’m so sorry, Sev,” Lily whispered, sobbing as she ran away from the sight as if it were too painful to witness.  
After a moment’s pause, Harry, Ginny and Snape re-entered the compartment and saw that the young Severus was no longer staring at his Patronus and had resumed his place at the window, completely lost in thought.  
“Did you know Lily and James were there watching you?” Ginny asked Severus gently.  
“No, but it explains a lot…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	27. You've been so brave

After witnessing the final memory Severus wanted them to see; Harry and Ginny followed the man out of the pensieve. The three adults paused in the middle of the Master bedroom, not quite knowing what to say or do.   
“I’ll just tell Ron we’re back,” Harry said into the silence as he drew his wand and sent his Stag to his brother-in-law.  
Once Harry watched his stag gallop safely out of the bedroom door, Harry quickly excused himself and went to check on the children. Thankfully they were sound asleep.  
Once Harry returned, he turned eagerly to Severus and asked in an excited whisper:  
“So what happened in the Forbidden Forest with the Resurrection Stone? What did my dad say?”  
“Your father wasn’t present at first. Originally I was talking to Lily and she expressed how sorry she was for everything that had happened; that she and James had considered inviting me over for dinner, but never had the chance before the Dark Lord was presenting a danger to them. I refused to believe her; even though I knew that James and I left Hogwarts on reasonably friendly terms, I could not believe he regretted everything he did and secondly, that he would be willing to invite me over for dinner. At this assertion, James appeared. He further reinforced that they considered inviting me to their place, even after so many years. Perhaps they simply felt sorry for me…” Severus trailed off in a bitter tone.  
“Maybe they wanted to tell you that they know how you felt about my mother,” Harry suggested.  
“And emphasise the fact that they are together now? That what I wanted would never come true?” Severus snapped back.  
“No,” Harry replied quickly, a little taken aback. “Although my dad knew how you felt, I don’t think, by the look on their faces, that either of them knew you truly and deeply loved Lily. From what we saw tonight, I do not think they wanted their relationship to be your downfall; I do not believe they married in spite of you, Severus, though perhaps to you that’s what it seemed like- I mean- would you have liked to have known what they saw?” Harry asked, hoping that he wasn’t offending Severus still further.  
“Considering that I wondered endlessly after Lily died whether she knew how I felt- whether James ever told her- yes, I suppose I would have liked to have known. But if she were to tell me what she knew, I believe I would have expected her to leave James or something equally as childish. No, all that would have shown her is that I had not moved on from what we had- I was unable to let go and after everything I felt and experienced in my sixth and seventh years, the last thing I wanted was for her last impressions of me to be her childhood friend who could not let go of her- but she has that impression of me nevertheless, so-”  
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Severus,” Ginny said gently. “Originally you believed that Lily died not knowing how you felt about her and you wondered if James ever had the chance to tell her about the conversation the two of you had, but now that you have revisited the moment, you know the answers. Both James and Lily knew how deeply you felt and they didn’t laugh or make fun of you, but were extremely sensitive, accepting and respectful. They knew, Severus!” Ginny exclaimed somewhat excitedly.  
“And did nothing about it,” Severus mumbled.  
“Perhaps not, but what could they have done? What we just saw, not just their presence but the way they reacted, it was so amazing. Neither Lily nor James hated you, Lily wasn’t angry; they both left Hogwarts knowing the truth- understanding a bit more about who you were,” Ginny asserted smiling and putting her hand on Severus’ arm. “Lily was emotional when she discovered you shared her Patronus and she died four years later knowing that you, Severus Snape, loved her despite everything that happened between you. And James, he matured and when he saw your Patronus, I know that he felt for you too. All of you made such a discovery at that moment and even though you weren’t aware of that at the time, at least now you can accept the fact that your secret was not a secret, other people knew about your Patronus- your love for Lily-and instead of seeing it as a weakness, that you once portrayed it to be, they respected you for it.”  
Severus stood motionless as if considering Ginny’s words. Many thoughts were running through his mind- he needed to think about this.  
“If it is fine with you, I think I should take leave now,” Severus said, heading towards the door.  
“Thank you for being honest with us,” Harry added quickly, as Severus was already so close to leaving their presence.  
“We hope it helped,” added Ginny.  
Severus turned around and looking between them, he replied: “I believe it did, but right now I need time to think it over.”  
“Well, whenever you are ready, if you are up for it, I think it would be great if you came over again and perhaps spend some more time with the kids, they were disappointed that they didn’t get to see much of you,” Harry asserted kindly, hoping that Severus would consider coming back before he and the children returned to Hogwarts.  
Severus nodded. “I’ll send you a letter by owl informing you of when I am next available.”  
“Great,” Harry replied, smiling. “We’ll see you then. Take care, Severus.”  
“Thank you.” Severus bowed to Harry and Ginny in turn, then Apparated to Spinner’s End.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once Severus arrived home, he lay on his bed and thought about Lily and James; they had seen his Patronus, but why didn’t they tell him? He had spoken to them using the Resurrection Stone, and yet neither of them mentioned what they had seen all those years ago. Perhaps they thought Severus should witness it for himself? Perhaps their reactions and the emotions they were feeling were best communicated through the pensieve rather than through words? Everything Lily and James said now made more sense: how they knew about his Patronus, that they wanted to invite him over for dinner, that James was truly sorry for what he did, and the both of them wanted Severus to be happy- he deserved it. And all this time, Severus thought Lily died not knowing how he felt- not only did Severus believe he was responsible for her death, but was also regretful that he didn’t have the courage to tell her how he felt when it really mattered. James didn’t betray his trust, like Severus thought he would- he didn’t tell Lily about the conversation they had; ironically he didn’t need to because Lily saw it for herself.  
She was crying…  
“He truly loved you, Lily…”  
“I’m so sorry, Sev,”  
They did not want this to happen  
The way they were looking at me- they didn’t know.  
Not even I knew how much she meant to me  
They want me to be happy…  
Perhaps I can be…  
I want to be…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

A week later…  
Harry and Ginny,  
I have had a week to think over what we discussed last week, most especially about Lily and everything, good and bad, that I experienced with her. I now feel that I am ready to move forward. I mentioned at the conclusion of my last visit to your home that I would write when I am ready and able to once again come over for dinner. I am available this Friday for dinner, perhaps around 7pm as I am busy prior to this time. Would that be okay with you and your family? Also, would it trouble you if I came via the Floo Network? I understand if you do not feel comfortable with me arriving via this method, but it would be convenient for me to connect Spinner’s End up to Grimmauld place just for that evening.  
Sincerely,  
Severus

Severus rolled up the small piece of parchment and called upon an owl to send it to Harry and Ginny. He had about week to think over what he had witnessed in the Pensieve, the old and new things he discovered and what they meant to him. He realised, that it really was time to move on- to try to be happy, be optimistic, to be the person he always wanted to be even before he met Lily. Deciding that the best place to start would be with Harry and his family; they were the ones that helped him most since he returned to the wizarding world barely a year ago and plus, he felt most comfortable around them- something he never thought he would be able to assert with conviction.  
But the next time he visited the Potters it would be different- he wouldn’t be nearly as nervous and worried about what was going to happen. Instead he can talk to James, Lily and Albus, spend time with them because they always seemed to enjoy his company though Severus could never see why.   
After a substantially long period of time, Severus received a reply from Harry. Thinking that perhaps Harry and his family had to discuss what Severus had suggested, Severus was nevertheless relieved to see the return owl with a different piece of parchment tied to its leg.  
Dear Severus,  
Myself, Ginny and our family are more than happy to have you over this Friday for dinner. Your arrival at 7pm is fine with us, we will not start dinner until you arrive (if you have any requests for the meal, please let us know). I have organized with the ministry to have the Floo networked between my home and yours for 7pm on Friday, we have no problem with you using it, especially if it is more convenient for you that way.  
Take care and see you soon!  
Harry

Severus smirked. He was not a fussy eater and could not think of any particular dish he would prefer, so he decided not the reply to Harry’s letter and resumed his seat in the living room, drink in hand.  
Friday was going to be different; he could tell…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Harry and Ginny had a hard time explaining to their children why they didn’t get to spend any time with Severus the first time he came over, and thought that perhaps this second time would be a similar situation. Harry and Ginny assured them that this time would be different and that they would get to talk to and do whatever they wished with Severus as long as he consented, of course. After much convincing, the children quickly became excited and with the assurances of their parents, they began to plan what they would do whilst Severus was at their home.  
“Do you think he would have many more stories about Hogwarts?” James asked his siblings excitedly.  
“Of course he would, he was a student there and he taught there for years! He’d have to have more stories!” Albus exclaimed.  
“I want to know more about Lily; he loved her…” Lily said dreamily and Albus and James pulled a disgusted face at each other. Thankfully, Lily missed it, but Harry found it difficult not to laugh as his two sons.

So enthralled by their ideas and the possible stories Severus may be able to tell them, the next three days went by quickly and before the children or even Harry knew it, it was already Friday. The children were so restless Harry gave up trying to calm them down and allowed them to run amok. Nevertheless, Harry and Ginny found their children’s excitement greatly amusing and they hoped that that evening would live up to everyone’s expectations.  
However, it was not 7pm but an hour earlier that Severus knocked on the door of Grimmauld Place. Being on guard, with his wand in hand, Harry opened the door to find Severus on the door step. Within moments, before the two men had the chance to talk, the children ran in and greeted the man warmly. Severus hardly made the sit down before Lily had already begun begging him to tell her stories about his childhood with Lily.   
“Later, Lily,” he answered kindly and then turning to Harry he said: “I apologise for arriving early. My plans changed at the last minute and so I thought, instead of going back to Spinner’s End and waiting until 7pm, I would come early in the hope that you wouldn’t mind my intrusion.”  
“No, that’s perfectly fine, Severus. It was great that you could come. Ginny is still in the kitchen making dinner, but it should be ready soon. Did you want to sit down?” Harry asked, gesturing Severus to sit down in their living room, the children sitting on the floor around him as if waiting eagerly for a bedtime story.  
“What were you going to do before you came here, Professor Snape?” James asked, looking curiously at the man.  
“James! It is none of our business,” Harry reprimanded his son. But Severus smiled a little and replied:  
“I was originally going to go to Gringotts and extract some money so as to buy some more stores for my laboratory, but then I decided against it and thought I would wait until I returned to Hogwarts to see if the school needed any supplies instead of having to make two trips,” Severus explained.  
“But, you are the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher, why are you still buying potions ingredients?” Lily asked, a little confused.  
“Although Professor Slughorn is a fine potions master, I do have a slight more experience than he does and besides, it is polite is it not?” Severus questioned Lily who nodded in understanding.  
An awkward silence followed this comment; no one had anything else to say. Without Ginny around, knowing that dinner wasn’t far away, they didn’t want to start any stories or discussions without her present. Finally, Severus said:  
“Despite coming here for Order meetings and in more recent times, I have not had the chance to see the rest of your home.” Then turning to the children, Severus continued: “Do you want to show me around?” He knew that such a suggestion would bring excitement to the children’s faces and so it did.  
“Yes!” The three kids exclaimed and leaping up off the floor, Lily holding Severus by the hand, they led him up the staircase, Harry not far behind them.   
Harry was glad- relieved that Severus seemed to be trying his hardest to move on from what he had experienced a week or so ago. He hoped that with Ginny, James, Lily, Al and his own help that one day soon, Severus would remember what it felt like to be happy.   
Once the tour guide began in Lily’s bedroom which was closest to the staircase, Harry could hear nothing but a constant stream of talking and he wondered how Severus could possibly understand them. But somehow, he was taking in every word, asking Lily questions from why she chose the colours for her room to what subject she thought would be her favourite at Hogwarts. Eventually, and much to the displeasure of James and Al who were becoming impatient, they dragged Severus and Lily from the latter’s bedroom and into Albus’ which was next to his sister’s. The conversation remained animated and Harry couldn’t erase the smile of his face, laughing every now and then at Lily’s continuous stream of questions and surprisingly, Severus’ now keen interest in Lily, James and Albus. Harry thought it was wonderful that his children’s hopes for that night were coming true. Before they even reached James’ room, Ginny called them down for dinner, much to James’ outrage.  
“But I still have to show Professor Snape my room!” he yelled down the staircase.  
“It’s not a problem, James. I can see it after dinner,” Severus said and made his way down the stairs, Harry bringing up the rear.  
Ginny was waiting for them in the living room and smiled when she saw Severus walking down with her children.  
“Hello, Severus,” she said happily.  
“Good evening, Ginny, the dinner smells wonderful,” Severus complimented the woman who laughed a little and said:  
“It’s nothing really and not too exciting, I hope you don’t mind?” Ginny asked, hoping that she would have Severus’ approval, not wanting to displease him.  
“I am flexible, Ginny, anything suits me fine,” Severus insisted. “But I was wondering if before we start dinner, I could have a word with you?” Severus asked, to the shock of everyone in the room.  
“It will not take long,” Severus added quickly, looking around at the family. “I just had a quick question to ask about my last visit, that’s all…”  
Harry and Ginny glanced at each other and Harry nodded, signifying that Ginny should go.  
“We’ll go into the kitchen and wait for you in there okay?” Harry said, grabbing Lily by the hand and leading his children away from Severus and Ginny. Once they had left, Harry giving her a reassuring look as he entered the kitchen, Ginny asked:  
“What did you want to ask me, Severus? Are you okay?” She asked looking concerned, wondering if perhaps he still had some concerns regarding the previous week and their trip into the pensieve.  
“No, I just wanted to ask-”  
But Severus was interrupted by a swirling figure who appeared feet from them, right in front of the fire place.  
Slowly the revolving figure stopped and stepped out of the fire place.  
Ginny screamed:  
“HARRY!”   
Harry leapt out of the chair he was sitting in, and indicating that his children should follow, he ran to the living room and stopped dead in his tracks.  
“Albus, James, Lily, go back into the kitchen,” Harry ordered firmly, though refusing to take his eyes off the scene ahead of him.  
Although the children heard their father’s order, they couldn’t move for fear, and continued to stare at what they were witnessing.   
“Go back into the kitchen!” Harry yelled in a panicked tone, having sensed that his children hadn’t moved a muscle, though he still didn’t remove his eyes from the scene.  
“Dad, we want to stay,” James said in a tone that sounded much braver than he felt.  
“No-”  
“Listen to your father,” Ginny said as she too was looking between the new arrival and Severus.  
“What happened?” Lily whispered, clearly afraid.  
“One of these people have taken the Polyjuice potion. One of them is Severus and the other is an imposter. It is too dangerous for you three to be in here,” Harry said, withdrawing his wand, surprised that he didn’t think of doing this sooner seeing as Ginny as well as the two Severus’ that now stood before him had already done so. “Go back into the kitchen now!”  
“No, we want to fight,” Albus persisted, drawing out his wand too.  
“Albus,” Harry said through clenched teeth. “This is not the time to be brave. I need to think about this, and I do not want to worry about the three of you as well, so please go back into the kitchen.”  
“But what if the imposter attacks and you or Mummy or the real Severus gets hurt?” Lily asked quietly, tears in her eyes.  
“Lily, we’ll be fine, there is no need for you to worry about us, okay?”  
“Please try to understand, Sweetie, we don’t want you to get hurt,” Ginny said, a little emotional herself for she could sense the fear in her husband and her children.  
Both Ginny and Harry were surprised that none of the Severus’ had moved a muscle; both of them were staring at each other, not saying a word as if any movement or tone would give away who they were, or perhaps who they weren’t. Both men knew they had to be very cautious if they wanted to convince Harry and Ginny of their true identity.  
“James, Al, Lily, please leave the room,” Harry said, almost hysterically as he looked between the two Severus’, fear boiling up inside him; he had no idea what was about to happen, and feared for his family’s life and for the real Severus too.  
“No, Dad, please let us stay; we’re too scared to leave,” Albus whispered.  
Harry took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down: the children were worried, they wanted to be near their parents, and Harry understood that.  
“Okay, stay exactly where you are, do not move and do not attack, don’t say a word; I need to think for a moment,” Harry said quietly to his children, though still not looking at them. Ginny stopped looking at the two Severus’ to stare at her husband: was he crazy letting the children stay in the room? But she also understood that her children were afraid and hoped that they wouldn’t get hurt- if they kept control of the situation and found out quickly which one was the imposter, perhaps no one would be injured or… killed…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Harry’s mind was racing. There were two Severuses standing in front of him, one of them was clearly an imposter, but which? There were a thousand ways of proving who was authentic, but with his wife standing between the two armed men and his children in the room, he wanted to prevent any injuries from arising. His first goal, though he doubted it would work, was to disarm them or at least, get them to lower their wands.  
Turning to face the men, Harry looked back and forth between them, both looking as angry as the other. His wand held in front of him, Harry slowly approached the two men, feeling extremely anxious but wary. But the two men didn’t even turn their attention to Harry; they only had eyes for each other.  
“Lower your wands,” Harry commanded quietly; the Severuses were standing with their wands at the ready, staring each other down.  
“Put your wands down!” Harry said loudly, as he drew closer, one step at a time.  
But neither of the men moved a muscle, it was clear to Harry that neither would obey his orders. He turned to his wife, who was looking pale and continued to glance between her husband and her children as if fearing for all of their lives.  
Although Harry’s heart was pounding- his mind racing, Harry was surprised that he was still able to think rationally. Why was it that neither Severus was moving nor talking; they weren’t even trying to convince Harry of their authenticity. Then Harry realised that if either of them uttered a word, it would have implications for that person’s innocence or guilt. It seemed that neither would speak nor move a muscle unless they knew for certain that what they did would prove that they were the real Severus, even though, clearly one of them was using the Polyjuice potion. Of course, the simplest solution would be to wait until the potion wore off, but Harry knew that the imposter would not wait to be discovered, and would likely resort to violent methods and verbal convincing in order to debunk the true Severus’ identity. Harry could hardly see a way out of this and only hoped that the true Severus, whichever he was, was thinking of something and fast. But perhaps there was a way of telling who was authentic? But Harry couldn’t decide who was the real Severus; the Severus that arrived first seemed genuine, interested in the children and markedly happier than he was the last time he was here and Harry did not find this strange, but reassuring and had no doubt until now that that original Severus was the real one. But now, another Severus has arrived, closer to the time he was originally due, but he hasn’t spoken to the latter and hence has no indication of his authenticity.  
“Put your wands down!” Ginny cried, taking over the pleading form her husband. “If you intend on dueling, leave our home!” she continued, though Harry knew it would do no good.  
“Do either of you have a suggestion as to how we discover who is the true Severus?” Harry asked hesitantly, not entirely sure that he wanted the answer.  
Both of the men paused for a moment, even though their wands were still pointing directly at each other. After what felt like eternity, neither of them had answered and Harry was seriously beginning to panic; were they going to stand there in silence forever? The suspense, the worry, the anxiety was killing him.  
Finally, Ginny broke the silence: “If the two of you are not going to lower your wands or speak to us, then what do you want us to do? Without causing potential danger to ourselves or our children, we have no way of finding out who is truly Severus. We could ask you to produce your Patronus, but the imposter, knowing that he couldn’t produce it, would instead do some other form of magic; we don’t want to encourage magic, we just want the truth!” Ginny pleaded, tears sparkling in her eyes. “Please say something!”  
“I came over for dinner a week ago and conversed with the both of you about my past,” the first Severus replied quietly.  
Harry and Ginny turned towards the first Severus, Harry was simply shocked that one of them had finally spoken, but then soon turned to see how the other Severus was reacting: his expression was unreadable.  
“I spent the last week going through everything I experienced with Lily and what she meant to me and how I can possibly move on after all the pain-”  
“SECTUMSEMPRA!”  
Ginny yelled, Lily screamed and Harry held out his wand aggressively pointing it directly at the attacker: the second Severus.  
But the second Severus did not seem to notice or care that Harry and Ginny were pointing their wands in such an aggressive manner towards him. Instead he approached his other self lying on the ground, covered in gashes, blood dripping on to the floor, blood dripping down the walls: the spell was so powerful and forceful, that the spatters of blood even reached James and Albus who both stood in front of their sister, milliseconds before the second Severus struck. Severus stood over the man who was now bleeding to death and yelled:  
“How dare you pretend to have experienced what I experienced- pretend you’ve suffered what I have suffered! You have no idea how I felt- what I have been through and for that,” Severus yelled, angry tears welling in his eyes. “You deserve nothing less than pain and torture for what you have done to me, to Lucius’ family and to this family who have already experienced so much. How dare you pretend to be me!” Severus spat. Breathing deeply, he slowly turned away from the bloody body whose face was staring up at him looking both angry and fearful. It was only then that Severus realised that Harry and Ginny had their wands pointed at him. Severus stopped in his tracks, though he didn’t lower his wand.  
“Drop your wand!” Harry demanded, pointing his wand directly at Severus’ chest.  
Severus slowly lowered his wand, but he didn’t drop it.  
“Expelliarmus!” Harry yelled, taking the second Severus completely off guard. Ginny caught Severus’ wand and Severus looked both angry and worried.  
“When did you first produce your Patronus and who else witnessed it?” Harry said in a hurried, panicked voice, pointing his wand directly at Severus’ chest. He had the feeling that the Severus in front of him was the genuine one, but he did use Sectumsempra against the other man, who, Harry realised could actually be the true Severus; he had to make sure.  
Severus paused, staring intently at Harry, who turned away, realising that the man may be using Legilimency against him. However, this was not Severus’ intention; he was simply trying to gauge if Harry was likely to attack any time soon.  
Severus took a deep breath and answered:  
“I was in seventh year aboard the Hogwarts express when I first produced my Patronus. Although I was unaware of it at the time, I recently found out that James Potter and Lily Evans, your parents, also witnessed my conjuring it.”  
Harry was inclined to believe Severus right there and then, but then realising that he had just been facing Severus, allowing the man a clear attempt to do Legilimency, Harry demanded:  
“You may have just done Legilimency one either Ginny or I. We must make sure that this was not the case. Turn around,” Harry said, pointing his wand directly at Severus. Snape paused for a moment, unsure whether or not to obey; turning his back on someone who may curse him was completely against all of Severus’ reasoning, but if he wanted the Potters to realise he was the true Severus, he knew he had no choice but to turn around.  
Slowly, Severus turned around so that he was facing the fireplace out of which he came not long ago.  
“Last week Severus showed us memories from his past. One took place on Lily’s birthday- what happened in that memory?” Harry said, staring avidly at Severus’ back.  
Severus shook his head in disbelief; Harry wanted him to relive that moment now? In front of the children? In front of a severely injured Greyback?  
Taking a deep breath, he said to the fireplace:  
“My father would not let me out of the house on Lily’s birthday. Lily, noticing my absence wanted to know where I was so came looking for me and climbed through my bedroom window. My father was drunk,” Severus paused for a moment. “He was yelling at my mother- angry at her for standing up for me; she was asking him to let me out of my room. It was during this conversation that I found out that my birth- my very existence- was a mistake.” Severus paused again, wondering if that was all Harry and Ginny wanted to hear.  
“Are you satisfied?” Severus asked, still looking into the fire place.  
“Yes,” Harry said gently and Severus felt it safe to turn around.  
There was silence in the room as Harry and Severus continued to stare at each other, the former trying to think of any way in which someone other than Severus could know the answer- perhaps there was a loop hole? When he realised there wasn’t one, Harry relaxed- or tried to, and looked at Ginny to see if she too believed Severus’ words.  
With a nod of his head, Harry indicated to Ginny that she return Severus’ wand to him.  
All eyes were on the woman as she walked slowly towards Severus and held out his wand, which the man took, not looking nearly as angry as he was when it was originally taken from him.  
The silence in the room was deafening; not even the man on the floor, who was still bleeding profusely was making a sound.  
Finally, James broke the silence:  
“Um, Dad,” he said hesitantly. “Al and I have blood on us.”  
It seemed the stress of the situation had completely distracted Harry from his children. Turning sharply towards his two sons, he realised that they were indeed covered in flecks of the other Severus’ blood. Harry was grateful that he was indeed a wizard, if he were still at the Dursley’s, cleaning the furniture would take hours and hours.  
But even then, Harry’s reactions were slower that usual; although Ginny had immediately gone to check up on her children and ensure that they were okay, Harry collapsed into one of their sofas and rested his forehead in his hands, Severus watching him intently. After a moment of contemplation, realising just how stupid he was for not realising that the original Severus who entered Grimmauld Place was in fact a fraud, he stood up from his chair and went to Ginny and his children.  
It didn’t bother Severus that none of the Potters seemed to have acknowledged his existence, clearly they were still in shock, especially Harry, but Severus didn’t mind for he was enveloped in his own thoughts.  
Still fuming slightly that the other Severus, who he could only assume was Greyback had spoken of his experiences, memories and emotions as if they were fact and unimportant; the man had no right to try and convince Harry of his innocence by pretending to understand him!  
But as Severus looked at the bloody mass on the floor, he could tell that Greyback was clearly suffering and Severus relished in the man’s pain.  
Finally, Harry turned away from his children and wife and asked Severus:  
“Would it be okay if Lily stayed here with you whilst Ginny and I clean up James, Albus and the living room?”   
Severus nodded; well at least he knew that Harry and Ginny definitely trusted the fact that he was the real Severus.  
And so they should, how could anyone else know what happened in the Pensieve except Harry, Ginny and myself?  
Severus watched as Ginny and Harry led their two sons up the stairs and once out of sight, he did what Harry had done not long ago and collapsed into the nearest chair, still lost in thought.  
Only after a couple of minutes, however, Severus’ thoughts were punctured when he realised that Lily was no where to be seen.  
“Lily?” Severus said, sitting up and looking around the room: he couldn’t see her.  
Standing up quickly, Severus scanned the room again and finally spotted the small girl sitting in a corner staring transfixed at the bloody mass of the first Severus. She was clearly distressed and didn’t even seem to notice Severus watching her.  
Severus slowly approached Lily: he really didn’t want to perform a curse so disturbing and disgusting like Sectumsempra in front of the children, but he wanted Greyback to suffer and knowing that Crucio would end up in a letter from the ministry, he decided to do the next best thing…  
“Lily, stop looking at him,” Severus said as kindly as he could.  
But Lily ignored him.  
“Allow me to clean him up a bit-”  
“No!” Lily exclaimed suddenly, standing up and looking at Severus with both determination and fear in her eyes. Severus, who had withdrawn his wand, placed it back inside his robes, but not before he silently stopped Greyback from losing any more blood- to keep him alive… for now.  
“No? Why not?” Severus asked, a little concerned.  
“Leave him alone!” Lily yelled, shaking, from fear or anger, Severus couldn’t tell.  
“Lily, he could have destroyed your family, he is not worth getting upset over-”  
“Just go away!” Lily yelled and sat back down on the floor with her arms wrapped around her.  
Severus was taken aback; he had never heard Lily yell before and was even more surprised that she seemed to be so empathetic towards Greyback who still looked exactly like him, Severus.   
Again, Severus made an effort to approach Lily, but she slid along the floor, further and further away from Severus and the man found this so disheartening, he stopped trying and simply stared at the girl once again.  
“Why are you acting this way?” Severus asked quietly, still observing Lily’s behaviour intently.  
“I’m not telling you! I’m not telling you anything!” Lily snapped.  
Suddenly, Severus felt like he understood something.  
“You do not believe I am the true Severus?”  
“No, I don’t,” Lily said a little quieter as if she now feared how Severus may react to her assertion.  
“You believe that the man lying there injured and in pain could be the actual Severus?”  
Lily nodded in reply without uttering a word. Severus saw a couple of tears fall down Lily’s cheeks.  
Understanding finally dawning on him, Severus replied gently: “That man isn’t Severus, I believe it is Greyback who used Polyjuice potion so that he would look exactly like me in an effort to learn more about the Deathly Hallows from your parents. We will have proof of this soon.”  
“But you could be lying,” Lily whispered, clearly she was trying to hold in her sobs.  
“Is there something I can do to prove that I am the true Severus?” Snape asked, hoping she would suggest he produce his Patronus.  
Lily looked up at Severus and although she was clearly frightened that perhaps the injured, dying man was the Severus she knew, she also knew that only the true Severus would produce a Doe Patronus.  
“Let me see your Patronus,” Lily said, turning on the spot, whilst still sitting firmly on the ground.  
Severus took out his wand; Lily couldn’t help but back away from him a little at the sight of it. Then, thinking that he should point his wand in any direction other than at Lily, he turned and said: “Expecto Patronum.”  
As expected, a beautiful silver doe came galloping out of Severus’ wand’s tip and its conjurer led it to the little girl who stood up and smiled a little at the sight of it. But Severus was no longer interested in his Patronus, but was watching Lily intently as if hoping for her approval; any indication that she now believed him.  
After a couple of minutes, the silver doe disappeared through Lily’s fingers and the girl paused for a moment as if she were coming back to reality.  
Then she looked towards Severus and then at the bloody body on the ground, then looked around her as if realising for the first time that her family weren’t with her. As if reality of the situation was just hitting home, her defenses lowering now that she knew that the Severus she was with was in fact the real one, Lily fell on the floor sobbing.  
Severus was not expecting this; he was envisaging Lily smiling at least; he thought she would be happy that he was not the one lying in a pool of blood. But then Severus realised this probably wasn’t about him. Again, Severus made his way towards Lily and once he was standing right next to her curled up body, he turned slightly to his left and saw the bloody face of the first Severus looking up at him clearly in pain, but also an expression of surprise was plain upon his face. A sense of fulfillment filled Severus as he realised that now, he was going to show Greyback how much he had been through… how much he had changed…  
Turning away from the bloody face, knowing that the man was too weak to even move, Severus knelt down next to Lily, who only just noticed his presence, slowly sat up and clung to Severus’ neck, sobbing onto his shoulder.  
Without even thinking, Severus held Lily to him and rubbed her back while she cried. Of course, Severus knew that the experience she just had was probably the most frightening she had ever seen and knew that a nine year old should never have to be concerned for the life of her family nor witness blood being spattered onto the walls of her living room.  
Despite Lily still crying hysterically, she said through her sobs:  
“That was s-s-so s-s-scary.”  
“I know, but you were very brave,” Severus whispered back, hoping this was some form of comfort to her.  
“W-w-we had n-n-no idea which was the real you,” she cried. “I showed Greyback my room, but I wanted to show you, not him!”  
“You can show me later,” Severus consoled her.  
“I didn’t even n-n-notice it wasn’t r-r-rreally you,” she continued sobbing and breathing very quickly.  
“That is an easy mistake to make. Clearly, Greyback did a good job of impersonating me. Many people have been fooled by the Polyjuice potion. It was a mistake-”  
“But we should have known! If you didn’t turn up- you- you saved us!” Lily exclaimed.  
“No I didn’t, I am sure your parents would have had it under control-”   
“No! If you hadn’t come, w-w-we could have died- he could have killed us and we w-w-would’ve thought it was you that whole time a-a-and then- and then- and then-”  
“Come over here,” Severus said gently, trying to lead Lily towards the sofas in the living room, but the poor girl wouldn’t let go of his neck. Scooping her up in his arms, Severus carried the still sobbing Lily away from the bloody mass to one of the larger couches in the Potter’s living room. With Lily sitting in his lap, the small girl still clutching onto him, Severus rocked back and forth slightly whilst whispering:  
“Calm down, Lily. Don’t be upset.”  
The next five minutes went by as Severus underwent his best efforts to calm Lily down, who was still sobbing hysterically. Never did she move her head from Severus’ chest of which she was leaning against. Being close to him comforted her and once she caught her breath and was no longer hyperventilating, she asked:  
“Was the spell you did, the Sectumsempra spell that Dad used on Mr Malfoy and the one you used on Uncle George?”  
Severus paused before answering: “Yes.”  
“But Mr Malfoy wasn’t too badly injured was he? And Uncle George doesn’t look that bad,” she mumbled, tears still pouring down her cheeks.  
“I found Draco Malfoy soon after your father attacked him so I was able to mend his wounds quickly so that minimal damage was done. As for your uncle, I did not mean for the curse to hit him, the only part the curse hit was his ear which is why he did not sustain injuries like Greyback. But in both cases, even if I was not there to save Draco and if I did hit your uncle in a more damaging place, their injuries would not be as extensive as Greyback’s,” Severus explained, looking over his shoulder at the motionless body on the ground. Severus didn’t care if Greyback died right there and then; although Harry never mentioned it, Severus was sure he would want to question Greyback before allowing him to succumb to death.  
“But why?” Lily asked, lifting her head up and looking at Severus’ calm face.  
“There was no anger behind those spells. The intention behind the curse was different on those occasions; your father used it out of protection and I was only trying to detach a limb not kill the Death Eater at whom I was aiming, but tonight… I wanted to cause pain,” Severus admitted to the little girl sitting on his lap.  
“But why did you have use something so terrible?” Lily cried. “Why did you create such a terrible curse?”  
“Because I was angry and upset when I created the curse; I had to do something with that anger so I created Sectumsempra,” Severus explained.  
“But it’s so scary and dangerous and there’s so much blood!” Lily sobbed, looking over Severus’ shoulder at Greyback’s mangled body.  
“Do not look at it- I didn’t want you or your brothers to see it, but I- I wasn’t thinking…” Severus trailed off.  
“You were really mad,” Lily whispered, sliding back onto Severus’ lap.  
Severus nodded. “I was.”  
“But why? Did he do something to you?” Lily asked, once again looking into Severus’ black eyes.  
“It is complicated,” Severus began. “It does not matter, anyway, I did the damage I wished to cause and I know that right now he is in great pain… that is enough for me,” Severus concluded, not wishing to elaborate on his anger.  
But Lily, not taking his response as a complete answer, wiped away her tears and looked fixedly at Severus. “I don’t care if it’s complicated; I want to know,” she said softly, but with confidence all the same.  
Severus looked back at Lily, not sure how to answer; would his reason for getting so angry and hurt by what Greyback said be understood by anyone other than himself? He wasn’t sure, but after everything Lily had gone through that night, if she wanted to know how he was feeling, Severus felt he owed that to her.  
“It is one thing to look exactly like another person, but another to act- to feel- to think as they do. If you remember, Greyback said that he had been thinking- suffering over the last week- talking about it- pretending it matters to him-” Severus said rather aggressively and paused a moment to master himself. “He was attempting to trick you and your family into believing that he was the real Severus because he was reflecting emotions that only I could feel. I have no doubt that if I was not there, your parents would not have questions his assertions. I could tell that Harry and Ginny were swayed by what he said and that made me angry because only I know how I feel- he never loved Lily, never had the childhood I had, but he still feels at liberty to talk about it with little emotion or thought. Of course, he was attempting to fool your parents, which increased my anger. I did not know what I was doing, I do not believe I was even thinking when I used Sectumsempra on him- all I knew was that I wanted to cause him pain- at least a small proportion of the pain I felt- because then there would be an ounce of truth in his pathetic words,” Severus finished bitterly, and then noticing that Lily looked a little wary, softened his face slightly. “But it does not matter now, he received what he deserves, everyone is safe and that is what is important,” Severus reinforced.  
“But the questions that Dad asked you- did Greyback know the answer?” Lily asked quietly; she wanted to understand why her parents knew almost instantly that this Severus was the real one after simply answering two questions.  
“Last Friday after you and your brothers fell asleep, I showed your parents a few memories from my past- so- so your father asked me what I showed them and no, Greyback did not know the answers,” Severus reinforced looking behind his shoulder at the now shaking form on the ground. Severus grinned slightly- the man deserves the pain.  
“You- you mentioned something about your dad being drunk- that he didn’t want you- that- that was a dream right?” Lily asked hesitantly. Severus stared at her intently as if contemplating if the truth would be too much for her. Clearly, Lily hoped it was just a dream, that the man whose lap she was currently sitting in did not experience those terrible things. As much as Severus wanted to deny it, he felt himself shaking his head in response to her question.  
Lily, who was sitting motionless in Severus’ lap, watched the man move his head side to side and before Severus knew what was happening, tears welled up in Lily’s eyes as she whispered: “But- but that’s not fair! Why didn’t he want you?”   
Severus looked down at her tear stained face and smiled a little; Lily had wonderful parents and although he knew that it would probably be better for Lily to remain ignorant of the terrible person that was his father, she had to know one day that the world wasn’t perfect.  
“My parents were not planning to have a child; my father especially did not want to spend his money and resources on something he didn’t want-”  
“But you’re a person, not a thing!” Lily cried hysterically.  
“It did not matter to him Lily- he was an abusive, alcoholic, good for nothing father who did nothing but make my life miserable,” Severus explained in the most calm voice he could muster.  
“He never gave you a chance! He judged you before he even got to know you!” Lily sobbed at the injustice of it all.  
“That is true,” Severus agreed, nodding.  
“That’s unfair!” Lily cried indignantly.  
“It doesn’t matter, Lily-”  
“Yes it does!”  
“It does not- I am fine-”  
“But he didn’t want you, Professor Snape! Your own dad didn’t want you- th-that must have been s- so hard and you-”  
Scooping Lily up in his arms, Severus stood up and held Lily to him as he walked towards the fire out of which he had come an hour ago, and patted her softly on the back as she cried for him.  
“Calm down Lily. Do not be sad for me,” Severus whispered.  
“I didn’t know,” Lily whispered back through her sobs.  
“No one did except your grandmother. Your parents only found out last Friday,” Severus reassured her.  
But this didn’t seem to console Lily as she sobbed still harder onto Severus shoulder.  
Eventually, Lily calmed down and said:  
“I don’t know what I would do if Daddy stopped loving me- how is it that you are not crying?” Lily asked Severus, lifting her head to look in his eyes.  
“I cried many years ago and have since made an attempt to move on. You have a father who loves you very much; it would be very hard to lose something you had- but I- I never knew what I was missing-”  
“But that doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve it!” Lily cried, tears beginning to dwell in her eyes again.  
“Lily, don’t get upset again,” Severus said quietly, having noticed the girl’s tear-filled eyes.  
“But everyone deserves to be loved-”  
“I know…” Severus said quietly, hoping she would calm down- he couldn’t believe she was so upset.  
“If your dad could see you now- he would be very proud- you have done so many amazing things and you are smart and brave and-”  
“It didn’t matter to him who I was or who I would become- he did not want me and that was it,” Severus said gently, although he still despised his father, he was trying to move on from his childhood.  
“Well it would matter to me! If I were your mother, I would be really proud of you!” Lily cried and began to sob on the man’s shoulder once again. Severus rested his head against hers and continued to walk around the room, avoiding Greyback’s still shaking body so as not to upset Lily even more.  
“They’re not going to take you away are they? For hurting Greyback?” Lily asked in her hysteria.  
“I do not think so-”  
“I hope not because I don’t want you to leave! They can’t take you away from me!” Lily cried, resting her head near Severus’ neck and then sobbing onto his shoulder, her arms tight around his neck.

Eventually, Harry, Ginny, James and Albus returned looking clean and fresh. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Harry took one swift look around the room and once he rested his eyes on his daughter in Severus’ arms, he smiled, though not too broadly incase Lily saw him. Severus, however, noticed almost immediately and stared at the man, half amused, half daring him to mention anything about the scene before him.  
“I wonder how many servings of Polyjuice potion Greyback had?” Ginny asked the room at large. “I thought for sure he would have resumed his usual form by now,” she continued looking worried.  
“I suppose we should just wait until he transforms back and then interrogate him before turning him in. Did you stem the blood flow, Severus?” Harry asked turning to Severus, who was still holding Lily.  
Severus nodded and as if Ginny had only just noticed her daughter hugging tightly onto Severus’ neck, she moved closer to Severus and her daughter, saying quietly: “Are you okay, Lily?”   
Lily didn’t reply but continued to cry quietly onto Severus’ shoulder.  
“Lily, sweetie?” Ginny asked uncertainly, getting a little closer and moving to the other side of Severus so she could see her daughter’s face. “I’m sorry your father and I left you here Lily. You must have been really afraid; I’m so sorry, we shouldn’t have done that,” Ginny said emotively, looking at her husband as if afraid that her daughter’s silence was a form of rejection.  
Harry came over and stood next to Ginny. “You okay, Lily?” he asked his daughter, holding out his arms, encouraging her to come to him, but she didn’t move nor speak.  
Both Harry and Ginny looked uncertainly at Severus, who tried to reassure them, however silently, that there was nothing to worry about- she would be okay.  
But apparently, Harry didn’t get this message and continued trying to communicate with his daughter.  
“Lily, come here; Severus may want a break from holding you, come to Dad,” Harry tried again, holding out his arms. But Lily continued holding on to Severus, tears still pouring silently down her cheeks. Ginny stepped forward and tried to lift Lily out of Severus’ hold, but Lily grabbed hold of Severus’ neck and refused to let go. Harry, Ginny as well as their two sons were dumbfounded. Seeing their expressions, Severus said: “It is no problem, I can hold her.” Harry looked at the man as if he weren’t sure whether to laugh or frown- it was such a strange thing to hear and yet he knew that that is what both Severus and Lily wanted at the moment.  
Eventually giving up, though still looking worried, Ginny and Harry both kissed their daughter on her wet cheek and moved back towards Greyback and their two sons.  
There was an awkward silence.  
Eventually, Severus decided to break it and looking at Greybacks’ mangled body he said:  
“I decided to close off his wounds so that he would at least be alive when he changed back into his normal self. How do you wish to interrogate him?” Severus then asked, looking up at Harry, who still seemed to be in shock that the man who once hated students was now comforting his daughter in such a gentle way.  
“Well, I think we can assume most of what he has done. He must have somehow intercepted the letter I sent you and then made up the excuse that he would be coming early. I regret to say that it fooled us entirely. I wonder how he got hold of the recipe,” Harry said thoughtfully.  
The adults stood there thinking, the children remaining silent and still.  
“Of course!” Ginny said. “Do you remember ages ago at the Malfoy Manor when Draco said that Greyback wanted him to do one last thing and that was to get the Moste Ponte potions book-”  
“I can’t believe it! I didn’t even think of it! That’s the same book Hermione got the recipe from in our second year!” Harry finished, looking thoroughly bewildered at his stupidity. “Well that explains it then,” Harry said bitterly.  
“And we are now aware as to what he did when he bent down next to me after that duel at Hogwarts- to pull out some of my hair,” Severus continued, Lily’s head still resting on his shoulder.  
“What was he trying to achieve?” Ginny asked the room at large. “Did he plan to kill us? Or just find out where the Deathly Hallows were or-”  
“We showed him our bedrooms,” James interrupted, looking a little sheepish. “Lily especially wanted to show Professor Snape her room, so- so maybe he thought he would see the cloak when he looked around or something…”  
“Maybe,” Harry agreed. “But I think the real question is what are we going to do with him, now that we have caught him?”  
“I believe death would be an appropriate punishment,” Severus said, causing Lily to gasp and Harry and Ginny to stare at him as if momentarily wondering if this was the real Severus.   
“Yes, death would be appropriate, but we cannot murder without being charged by the ministry, Severus,” Harry eventually said, looking at Severus cautiously.  
“But whatever is done, there is every possibility that he will escape. I, personally, am fed up with constantly wondering what he is doing and where he may be. There must be a way of ending this once and for all,” Severus said, looking at Harry, thinking that the head of the Auror office may have some idea.  
“If Greyback bled to death is that considered murder?” Albus asked quietly.  
Harry, Ginny and Severus looked at each other, confused- it was times like these that they wished Hermione were among them.  
“Well, if we made it appear like it was an accident…” Harry said uncertainly. “Then maybe they would consider it as manslaughter.”  
“But in all honesty,” Ginny intervened. “We have been searching for Greyback for weeks, the ministry knows what he has done, would they really mind if he died?” Ginny asked, not wanting to sound sadistic.  
“I doubt it, but perhaps we should contact Kingsley?” Severus suggested.  
Harry laughed a little. “We should have thought of that ages ago.” And then pulling out his wand, he sent his Patronus with a message for Kingsley.  
A couple of minutes later, during which the Potters and Severus stood in complete silence, watching Greyback who still looked like Severus, though his hair was starting to turn grey, a great lynx fell in front of Harry and said in Kingsley’s deep voice.  
Get a confession out of him and make sure it is recorded by a ministry official, such as Hermione Weasley. Then I give you permission to dispose of him in any way you please, but do not use an Unforgiveable curse. It is about time he was caught, we do not want him to escape from our reach again.  
“Well, I guess that means we need to contact Hermione,” Ginny said and then quickly whipped out her wand and sent her silver horse to her sister in law.  
“Do you by any chance have any Veritaserum at home, Severus?” Harry asked, realising that he had no more stocks of the potion at Grimmauld Place.  
Severus nodded. “I will get it for you now.” But then Severus froze, not really knowing what to do about Lily, who was still clinging onto him. Realising this problem, Ginny went to help Severus remove her daughter from his arms, but Lily wouldn’t let go.  
“Lily, Severus needs to go, but he will be back in a moment, okay?” Ginny said kindly to her daughter, becoming concerned that perhaps the nights ordeal had severely affected her.  
“I will only be a minute, Lily,” Severus assisted, trying to look Lily in the eye, even though she was clinging to him harder than ever.   
“I don’t want you to go,” Lily whispered so that only Severus could hear.  
“I know,” he whispered back. “But while your Aunt, father and mother are interrogating Greyback, you can show me your bedroom. How does that sound?”  
Lily seemed happier at this and then, after more encouragement from Ginny, Lily let go and watched Severus disappear into the fire place in a rush of green flames.

Once Severus and Hermione had both arrived, Severus kept his promise to Lily and allowed her to lead the way up to her bedroom whilst the adults gathered around Greyback and the two boys went up stairs to watch television.  
After the interrogation was completed, Ginny called the boys, Severus and Lily downstairs as they all stood staring at a now conscious Greyback who looked like his usual self once again now that the Polyjuice potion had worn off.   
“Did Greyback reveal anything we had not already suspected?” Severus asked, looking between Ginny and Harry.  
“No, he simply bought the ingredients for the Polyjuice potion from an Apothecary and had been working out how to brew it properly for a few months. And he did not intend on killing us unless he found out where the cloak was and we were standing in his way,” Harry explained.  
Severus nodded his understanding.  
“So what did Kingsley tell you to do now that he has given a confession?” Hermione asked the room at large, knowing that there was no Azkaban for the werewolf to be sent to.  
“Well, there is no doubt, especially after that confession that he will continue to seek the Deathly Hallows and most likely endanger many other lives in the process. So we concluded it would be best if we killed him,” Harry said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic by this. Hermione frowned slightly.  
“You won’t be using an Unforgiveable curse I hope,” she said sternly, not wanting to have to attend a court hearing that involved any of the people in her presence.  
“No, Kingsley already warned us about that,” Harry reinforced.  
“So how do you plan to kill him?” Hermione asked, looking curious.  
It seemed that the Veritaserum was wearing off Greyback, who spoke for the first time in hours, other than when he was under the effects of the potion.  
“You’re going to kill me?” he growled, half defiant, half scared.  
“Yes and you deserve it,” Ginny said harshly, staring intently at Greyback who was still lying on their living room floor.  
“Well get on with it then,” Greyback said in what he thought was a humorous tone, but there was nothing about it that caused anyone else in the room to laugh.  
“Any suggestions?” Harry asked.  
“I can simply use Sectumsempra again and let him bleed to death,” Severus suggested, to which Greyback replied: “But wouldn’t that be a slow and painful process?”  
“That is the point,” Severus hissed back at him.  
“Why did you even attack me, Severus? What did I do?” Greyback asked and it was clear to Harry that the man was attempting to emotionally attack Severus one last time before he died.  
Severus, who had been holding Lily’s hand, let go and stormed over to Greyback, his black cloak billowing behind him. Everyone, including Greyback remained silent as Snape stared at the werewolf, his eyes full of fury.  
“What haven’t you done? You have endangered the lives of many, put in peril Harry and his family who by no means need to suffer any more at your hand or anyone else’s for that matter. A worthless individual like yourself would not have the power to obtain the Deathly Hallows- possessing all three of the objects takes more than desire, but inner strength and that is something you could never possess,” Severus spat. “You deserve nothing but torture and death, not only for everything you have done since the downfall of the Dark Lord, but the many people you contaminated such as Remus Lupin, Bill Weasley and many others. So why have we decided to kill you? Because you deserve it- this torture, the peril you are about to experience- it is called revenge, Greyback. I suggest you savour it!” Brandishing his wand and point it directly at Greyback’s chest, Severus yelled with so much anger for the second time that night “Sectumsempra!”  
Ginny reached her children just in time to force them to turn around just before the effects of the Sectumsempra curse hit Greyback. Harry assisted his wife in blocking the view from his children, and although Lily wasn’t putting up a fight, James and Albus were curious to see what had happened.  
Just like before, blood leaked from every cut on Greyback’s body- the sight would have disturbed anyone, Hermione looked as if she were about to be sick. After getting over this initial shock, however, she looked intently at Severus; she had no idea that the man had all of that bottled up inside. But because she had not been around him as much as the Potter’s, she didn’t know what to expect from the man these days.   
Severus was staring at the mangle he had just created and watched, breathing deeply as Greyback lost consciousness. He continued to stare until the werewolf was no longer breathing. Hermione continued watching Severus; his pain, his obvious love for Harry and his family, and the anger he felt towards Greyback, and felt she should say something to him.  
Finally she gathered up enough courage to ask:  
“Are you okay, Severus?”  
It was as if Severus forgot anyone was there with him. Still looking at the now dead Greyback, he said: “I am fine.”  
“Okay,” Hermione said gently, not wanting to press the point.  
Then looking away from the mangled body, he said to Hermione: “He finally got what he deserved.”  
Hermione said nothing; although she agreed that Greyback deserved to be punished, to say that someone deserved to die seemed too extreme for her to utter.  
After cleaning up the mess and disposing of the body, Hermione returned home to her family and the Potters sat down with Severus and had a late dinner. The conversation was rather solemn, although none of them cared that Greyback was dead, the idea that murder had occurred only one floor above them (as they were in the kitchen now) seemed to irk them a little.  
After dinner, Severus said:  
“Thank you for dinner. I will take my leave, but perhaps we will see each other soon?” Severus added, seeing the saddened look on Lily’s face.  
“It’s no problem, Severus and of course, you are welcome here at any time.” Ginny said as they all stood up, ready to bid Severus farewell.  
Walking upstairs, Severus position himself in front of the fire place and was about to grab some Floo Powder when Lily walked cautiously towards him. Severus bent down and looked into her brown eyes that clearly said: “Don’t leave.”  
Severus hugged the beautiful girl and whispered: “Take care, Lily.”  
“What if you get into trouble for killing Greyback?” Lily asked him suddenly, as if she had been dying to ask for the last couple of hours.  
“You heard Kingsley; I will not be punished for it, so do not worry yourself.”  
“But what if I never see you again?”  
“You will, I promise,” Severus said. “Thank you for showing me your room,” he continued, hoping that that would make Lily a little happier.   
“Did you like it?” Lily asked, a little smile on her face.  
“I did, but pink is not really my colour,” Severus replied smiling.  
Lily laughed, then moved away from the fire place and waved goodbye to Severus as he disappeared into the green flames once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Due to the excitement of that evening, James and Albus found it difficult to go to bed, but eventually tiredness took over them and they fell asleep. Harry and Ginny, after tucking in their sons and kissing them goodnight, went into Lily’s room to find that she was still awake, sitting on her bed, her knees tucked up to her chest.  
“Aren’t you sleepy, Lily?” Ginny asked her daughter, sitting on Lily’s bed, her husband following suit.  
Lily shook her head vigorously.  
“Did you want to talk about what happened today?” Harry pressed on; his daughter had been quiet all night, only ever speaking when she had to or when she was conversing with Severus.  
Lily shook her head.  
“Did you want your mother and I to stay here until you fall asleep?” Harry suggested, but Lily didn’t reply and continued sitting there staring into space. Ginny and Harry looked at each other concerned.  
“We’re worried about you Lily. Please tell us what’s wrong,” Ginny said, resting her hand on her daughter’s arm and realised that she was cold. “Lily, get under the covers, Sweetie or you are going to freeze,” Ginny said, trying to cover Lily with the sheets, but Lily simply pushed them away.  
“Talk to us, Lily,” Harry said, almost desperately; if something serious happened to Lily because he didn’t realise that Greyback was impersonating Severus, he would never forgive himself.  
“What’s the matter, Sweetie?” Ginny persisted gently. But Lily remained silent, and Harry’s heart began to race.  
“We’re sorry we didn’t realise that Greyback had used Polyjuice potion, Lily. It frightened us all and it was a good thing that Severus attacked Greyback and was able to prove his innocence before anything more drastic happened. We’re sorry we didn’t have it under control, but it’s over now- everyone is okay and Greyback will no longer be trying to get hold of the Deathly Hallows,” Harry said optimistically, hoping that his daughter would share his enthusiasm.  
But when she didn’t, Ginny asked: “Is there anything we can do for you, Lily?”  
For the first time since they entered her bedroom, Lily looked up from wherever in space she was staring. Taking this to mean that she did want something, Harry continued for Ginny in an eager tone, he would do anything to remedy his mistake and turn his daughter back into the happy girl she was only hours before: “What can we do?”  
“I want to talk to Severus,” she whispered quietly. Ginny and Harry turned to look at each other in shock; Lily had formed such a strong bond with Severus in the few minutes that he was with her after the incident, that her request astonished them.  
“It- it’s late, Lily. Couldn’t it wait until morning?” Harry asked hesitantly, knowing that if a talk with Severus would make his daughter happy, then he would do anything he could to make that happen, even if it was almost one in the morning.  
But Lily shook her head.  
“Okay, well I will get in contact with him and if he isn’t already sleeping, I’ll see if he can come by.”  
Lily nodded. Then slowly getting up, he squeezed Ginny’s hand and made his way downstairs to the living room, leaving his wife to watch their daughter.

Harry wasn’t sure how best to contact Severus at this time of night. He thought about sending his Patronus, but if Severus was sleeping then he probably wouldn’t hear the message. He also considered Flooing his head to Spinner’s End hoping that Severus would still be in his living room, but then Severus would probably not appreciate his intrusion. Concluding that there was too much to explain to send a message via Patronus, Harry hoped that Severus would not mind him Flooing his head into his fire place in the hope that he was sitting in his living room and had not yet gone to bed.  
Grabbing a handful of Floo powder and kneeling in front of the fireplace, Harry threw it in and said loudly and clearly: “Severus Snape’s house!” Harry’s head felt like it was spinning as green, warm flames brushed past his face. He caught glimpses of fire place after fire place, though never stopping at one until what felt like 100 fireplaces had past. Harry was now looking into an empty dark living room.  
“Severus?” Harry said into the darkness, hoping that a voice would answer him. When he didn’t hear anything, Harry said a bit louder: “Severus!”  
Suddenly, he heard a commotion from what could have been the kitchen. Harry could imagine Severus pulling out his wand whilst walking cautiously into the living room, preparing to attack an intruder.  
As Harry expected, Severus had his wand at the ready as he entered his living room, but once he saw Harry’s head sitting in his fireplace, he lowered his wand and said: “Jesus Harry, you scared the hell out of me.” And then, as if realising that Harry would only contact him this late at night for a good reason, he continued with a concerned expression on his face: “What is the matter?”  
Harry felt a little uncomfortable asking Severus to come to his house to comfort his daughter, especially when it was so late at night, but pushing his embarrassment aside, knowing that he wanted nothing more than for Lily to be happy again, he replied: “Lily is still awake. She has hardly uttered anything to Ginny or I and we are really worried about her. When we asked her if there was anything we could do, she said that she wanted to speak to you.”   
Severus’ face was blank as if he didn’t quite know how to react to this statement. In truth, Severus had no problem with going to Grimmauld Place if Lily had requested him, but he was a little worried that Lily may come to see him as a father figure, perhaps more so than Harry and Severus knew how much that would upset him. But then pushing that aside, he realised that he should not worry himself with such things just yet.  
“Would you like me to talk with her?” Severus asked seriously.  
“If you could- I’m so sorry to bother you this late, Severus, but she refuses to sleep and-”  
But Severus put up his hand and said: “It’s no problem Harry, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”  
“Thank you, Severus,” Harry said, relieved and then pulled his head out of the fireplace.  
Harry stood up from the ground, his knees aching and then turned to see his wife coming down the stairs.  
“How is she?”  
“She’s still not sleeping,” Ginny sighed. “Did you get in contact with Severus?”  
Harry nodded. “He won’t be long.”  
“I wonder what Lily wants to talk to him about…”  
Harry was wondering the same thing; what was it that Lily felt that only Severus would understand?  
“I don’t know…”  
The sound of the fire lighting told Ginny and Harry that Severus had arrived.  
“I’m so sorry about this Severus,” Ginny said kindly, walking up to Severus. “You weren’t sleeping were you?”  
“No, just having a drink before turning in.”  
“I’m sorry, I hope this will not take long,” Ginny said lowering her voice, “but Lily seems to be in shock and all she wanted was to see you and-”  
“There’s no need to explain, Ginny,” Severus said, smiling a little. “It is no problem. Is she in her room?”  
Ginny nodded. The Potters watched as Severus made his way up stairs, finally knocking on Lily’s door.  
Lily was still sitting up straight, her back resting against the backboard of her bed. Upon seeing Severus, tears began to form in her eyes. Thinking that maybe he had a stern look on his face, Severus rearranged his expression in an effort to stop Lily from getting upset. Rushing to her, Severus knelt down beside the bed, so that his face was a bit lower than Lily’s.  
“What’s wrong Lily?” Severus asked gently.  
“I’m scared,” she whispered.  
Severus couldn’t help thinking: Is that it? He knew how worried Ginny and Harry were about her.  
“Why didn’t you tell your father this?” Severus asked, not in an angry tone, but one of curiosity. But apparently, this was the wrong thing to say and Lily began to cry. Wanting to quiet her down before the sobbing attracted Ginny and Harry’s attention or otherwise woke her brothers, Severus said quickly: “No- no Lily, don’t cry. Forget I said it.”  
“I-I’m sorry. I wanted to tell my mum and dad, but I- I just couldn’t- they must hate me,” Lily sobbed.   
Severus shook his head and looked Lily in the eye: “Your parents love you very much otherwise they would not have contacted me. They want you to be happy.”  
“But I couldn’t even talk to them! I used to tell them everything!”  
“Shhh, it does not matter,” Severus said soothingly. “They don’t mind as long as you talk to someone about it.”  
“But I could have talked to them-”  
“But you didn’t.”  
Lily shook her head.  
“Why not?” Severus continued.  
“I don’t know!” Lily cried.  
Severus sat on the floor lost in thought. Finally, the answer came to him.  
“I know why,” he said gently.  
“Why?” Lily asked, turning slightly on her bed so that she could see Severus clearly.  
“Because it was I who comforted you earlier today, rather than your mother or father, you felt safer with me- knew that I would be there for you. For some reason you feel like I would understand what you wanted to say better than your mother or father.”  
“But I know Mum and Dad would understand too, but I just-”  
“Really wanted to speak with me,” Severus finished for her.  
“Yeah,” Lily whispered.  
“I understand,” Severus said gently, nodding a little.  
“You do? How?” Lily asked, keenly interested.  
“Because a similar thing happened to me when I was a little older than you.”  
“Really? What happened?”  
“Do you remember me mentioning my father and the things he said about me?”  
Lily nodded.  
“I was in my bedroom at the time and I heard him yelling. Your grandmother was with me, and she comforted me through that time, just like I did with you tonight. From that point on I felt closer to her and yet I could not fully explain why. It was as if I trusted her to be there for me, to care for me, and so I felt this need to be with her even more than I did before my father uttered those insults. I think that perhaps you are experiencing a similar thing.”  
Lily nodded in agreement. “I do feel closer to you,” she said quietly, as if she wasn’t sure if she wanted Severus to hear her.  
“I am glad,” Severus replied equally as quietly. “So, do you have any idea why you are still so scared?”  
Lily paused for a moment, then answered: “What if it happens again?” The fear was sparkling in her eyes- Severus could see it.  
“It won’t happen again,” Severus said reassuringly. “Greyback is dead.”  
“But anyone could look like you if they made some Polyjuice Potion and took some of your hair,” she pointed out. “It could be anyone and I wouldn’t know. Mummy and Daddy may be fooled again!”  
“This is true, but I do not believe you have anything to worry about, Lily.”  
“But- but it could happen and if it does, how am I going to tell which one is the real you?” she asked Severus, pleading with her eyes.  
Severus considered this for a moment and then finally replied.  
“Do you have a favourite number?”  
Lily looked a little taken aback at this sudden change of conversation.  
“Yeah, four,” she replied a little hesitantly. “Why?”  
“If it happens again and you are there, I will keep an eye on you and whenever you look at me- I will-” Severus paused thinking about what he could do four times without seeming suspicious to anyone else. “I will blink four times,” he finished, sounding a little like a child.  
“Um, okay,” Lily said a little hesitantly.  
“So that way you will always know which one is me. Does that make you feel any better?” Severus asked, looking intently into Lily’s eyes.  
Lily nodded.  
“It can be our secret.”  
Lily smiled and nodded more enthusiastically. “Okay!”  
“So is there anything else that’s bothering you?” Severus asked. Lily paused for a moment, thinking.  
“James and Albus weren’t scared at all tonight. I am not brave like them,” she whispered, looking down and away from Severus. Severus reached across her and lifted up her chin so that she was facing him and then said: “Just because they did not appear to be afraid, does not mean they weren’t.”  
Lily sniffled and a tear fell down her cheek.  
“But- but they weren’t crying like I was- what if I don’t get put into Gryffindor when I go to Hogwarts? I will be the only one in my family!”  
“And they would love you just the same,” Severus said gently and resting his hand on Lily’s arm. Feeling how cold she was he suggested: “Why don’t you get under the covers and stay warm.”  
Lily did as she was told and then Severus continued: “It does not matter to your parents which house you are in, as long as you are happy about it,” Severus reassured her. “But I do not think you have anything to worry about,” Severus said with confidence.  
“How do you know?” Lily asked, tears still in her eyes.  
“Bravery is-” Severus paused, trying to think of how to word his thoughts. “Bravery is not what everyone thinks it is.” And then realising that didn’t make much sense, Severus continued. “People who are brave know who they are…” And then realising that that made no better sense than his last attempt, he used an example.  
“Who do you think is brave?” he asked Lily.  
“You.”  
Smiling a little in spite of himself, Severus continued: “In my situation, then, it was not until people started to question my bravery that I actually realised I was being brave. I hear you and your brothers saying how brave you think I am, but I didn’t see myself as brave. When your father faced the Dark Lord those many times, he did not think he was brave either. To us, we were not being brave- we were simply doing what we knew we had to do. I loved Lily and I wanted to redeem myself in her eyes and resolve the damage I did. That was my goal and if that meant risking my life, then that is what I had to do. I was not trying to be brave, I was simply doing what I had to do- it is other people, like you, who think I am brave.”  
“That’s like how Daddy felt about Voldemort,” Lily pointed out.  
“Exactly. Your father, whether or not he was thought of as a coward or a brave hero, he would have done the same thing, regardless. He had a goal, he wanted vengeance and he succeeded, but never once did he think he was brave- it was what he had to do and he did it. What I am trying to say is that just because you are afraid doesn’t make you any less brave than your brothers. It will be the beliefs and the expectations you have of yourself when you get older that will define whether people feel you are brave or not. Bravery is about doing what you believe in, regardless of the risks. Do not judge who you are before you have even begun at Hogwarts, Lily.”   
Lily smiled and wiped away her tears. Then reaching up from under her sheets, she held out her arms and Severus hugged her.  
“You are so smart, Severus,” she whispered.  
Severus laughed and smiled. “Are you feeling a bit better now?”  
They let go of each other, Severus was still smiling.   
Lily nodded. “Thank you.”  
“It was my pleasure. I had better go home and get some rest. I will see you soon, Lily,” Severus said walking towards the door.  
“Okay, good night, Severus.”  
“Good night Lily.” And as he closed the door, Severus saw Lily, snuggle up among her blankets and close her eyes.

Still smiling in an almost childlike manner, Severus descended the stairs to find Ginny and Harry waiting for him in the living room. Upon his entrance, both of them stood up looking anxious.  
“Is everything alright?” Ginny asked eagerly.  
“She’s fine,” Severus replied.  
“Do you mind us asking… what was wrong, why was she so upset?” Harry asked, looking worried. Severus addressed him.  
“She was simply scared, Harry, but-”  
“Then why didn’t she tell us that?” Harry asked. “We could have easily-”  
“Harry-” Severus began.  
“We did our best to-”  
“Harry!”  
“What!” Harry said aggressively, though not too loudly so as to wake up the children.  
“Calm down,” Severus said steadily, keeping a close eye on Harry.  
“My daughter doesn’t want to speak to me and you’re telling me to calm down?” Harry shot back; all of his feelings of guilt, fear and anger from that day were coming out all at once.  
“She wanted to speak to you, but she couldn’t.”  
“Why?”  
“Because she thought you may not understand her as well as I could-”  
“What do you mean by that?”  
“Harry, this is not- she is just- I understand-”  
“Well obviously, that’s why she wanted to talk to you!” Harry argued in a sarcastic tone.  
“Would you listen to yourself?” Severus fired back, feeling angry now.  
Harry was taken aback by Severus’ sudden outburst, but this seemed to quiet him.   
“I’m sorry”.  
“Listen to me. Lily was terrified earlier today and immediately after the incident, you left her there with me when the two of you went to assist your sons- I’m not blaming you!” Severus added for Harry was about to interrupt. “But as a consequence, she was left alone with me. She probably didn’t tell you this, but she thought that the real Severus could have been the one injured on the ground- that I was in fact the imposter and that somehow you were fooled into trusting the wrong man. I proved to her that I was the genuine Severus by conjuring my Patronus and immediately upon finding out she cried and cried and cried. I was there for her, I was there to comfort her and you weren’t. That doesn’t make you bad parents and that doesn’t make me any better than you. It means that when she was still thinking about that incident, the first person she wanted to speak to was me.”  
“Not us,” Harry butted in, clearly still frustrated.  
“No, not you, but one of the first things that she said to me when I walked into her room was that she was afraid that you would be angry at her, that you wouldn’t love her anymore because she couldn’t talk to you. I assured her that her parents love her and only wanted her to be happy. Now she is, so do not be so angry, Harry!”  
“Is she sleeping now?” Ginny asked a little timidly, as if disturbed by the small rift that had occurred between her husband and Severus.  
“Yes, she is,” Severus answered.  
“Thank you. Good night, Severus,” Ginny said and left the room, leaving Harry and Severus in one another’s company.  
“I’m sorry about this, Severus” Harry mumbled. “But she always tells us everything- she has never refused to talk to me before…”  
“I know, Lily told me as much. Do not be so hard on yourself; you are a good father and she knows you love her. That’s all that should matter,” Severus reinforced.  
“Thank you, Severus,” Harry said, shaking hands with Severus.  
“Good night.” Severus said as he grabbed a handful of Floo Powder and disappeared into the green flames once more.


	28. ... to reveal the very best of you

Almost two years later

“I’m so excited!”  
“And you just can’t hide it?” James finished for his sister, absolutely sick of hearing those three words.  
“Well I am! And don’t be so mean, I never complained when you had your first day at Hogwarts!”  
“I know, but it would be nice if you focused on packing rather than yelling at the top of your voice. Dad and I are trying to help you, remember?”  
Then looking sheepishly from her eldest brother to her father, Lily settled down and continued to help them pack her trunk.  
It was August the 31st and the following day would be Lily’s first day at Hogwarts after waiting so long, she was finally going.  
Unlike many of the first years that begin, such as her father and mother before her, she wasn’t scared, or at least- that’s what she told herself. She knew she would be safe with her two older brothers looking out for her and also with Professor Snape as her Defense against the Dark Arts teacher and Professor McGonagall as Headmistress, Lily had the feeling that Hogwarts would make her feel safe and be one of her most favourite places in the world.  
But of course, she would miss her parents very much, but maybe they would like the time home alone? Regardless, she couldn’t wait to learn magic, to use her newly bought wand and explore the many subjects and all the new people she was going to meet.

Lily found it hard to go to sleep that night. She couldn’t stop thinking about all the secret passageways she wanted to explore, including the Room of Requirement that her parents spoke so fondly of. She was also anticipating the food what would appear before her very eyes at the Hogwarts tables and to hear the Sorting Hat’s song. A whole new life was starting for her and now she truly understood why her two older brothers were so excited for their first day… she truly understood.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

So Lily was taking it back now- she was no longer excited. Because of her intense exhilaration from the previous day or should we say weeks, months, perhaps even years previously, Lily had always dreamed of this moment, but now that it was here, she sincerely wished she were home again. All of the first years were lining up just off the Great Hall in a small room. Although Lily knew what was coming, she remembered a conversation she had with Severus about two years previously when she expressed her fear that she may not be brave enough to get into Gryffindor. Despite her many assertions to her brothers that she was confident and brave, she didn’t feel any more brave at that moment than she did at age nine.   
Lily listened as the roll was read and held her breath when she knew her name was about to be called out.  
“Potter, Lily,” said Professor Flitwick’s squeaky little voice. As she walked to the stool and sat on it, she saw her brothers waving and smiling at her from the Gryffindor table- what if she wasn’t about to join them?  
She felt Professor Flitwick place the hat on her head and immediately it started to talk to her.  
“Hmm, another Potter,” the hat said in a sinister voice.  
“That’s right,” Lily thought to herself; she was so scared, she wouldn’t be surprised if she passed out from the anticipation and fear.  
“Your brothers were very easy to place as was your mother- of course, your father was much more difficult for reasons we are now aware of. But you- you have something different…” the hat mumbled as if trying to pinpoint what was so different about the little girl of who’s head he was resting on.  
“What is it?” Lily thought to herself again and the hat answered: “Fear.”  
Lily almost stopped breathing- it was just what she was afraid of; Severus had been wrong after all.  
But then the hat continued: “This is interesting because for the first time that I can remember, and I have a good memory, I know where you belong, but you do not, for whatever reason, believe yourself worthy.”  
“What house do you think I should be in?”  
“I know you should be in Gryffindor; you have the bravery, the courage, the leadership that Gryffindor’s have, but you don’t believe you do- you doubt yourself.”  
“S- so?” Lily thought, but almost said it out loud for everyone to hear.  
“So, I am wondering whether I should put you somewhere else, because one thing Gryffindors are not is scared,” the hat said sinisterly.  
“But I do really want to be in Gryffindor!” Lily protested silently.  
“Because all of your family were or because you think you deserve to be placed there?” The Hat questioned and Lily was stumped- she really should have studied for this task, neither of her parents indicated it was so hard.  
“Well I want to be- I would like to think I am brave- people think I am.”  
“Like who?”  
“Like Professor Snape, do you know him?”  
The Hat laughed so that only Lily could hear. “Of course I do. Dumbledore was right, I think in that case, we really did sort too soon.”  
“Perhaps,” Lily replied. “But he said that bravery was about values and doing what you believe in and if what you do is brave, then that’s a bonus. Bravery is about sticking up for what you believe…”  
“Severus said this did he?” The Hat enquired and Lily could tell it was impressed.  
“Yes,” Lily whispered out loud. It was only then that she noticed the students and staff were looking at her- the sorting hadn’t taken this long in many years.  
“Well now I am one hundred percent certain that we sort too soon. Severus Snape should have been placed in Gryffindor… But enough about him. The question remains: where should I put you?”  
“Please put me in Gryffindor,” Lily begged. “I promise to live up to its values.”  
“Do you believe what Severus said?”  
“Yes, I do!” Lily ensured the Hat. “I really do!”  
“Well then, live by it. I hope you will become a true Gryffindor like your parents and your brothers are.”  
“Thank you,” Lily whispered as the Sorting Hat yelled: “Gryffindor!”  
There was much applauding, though most of the staff looked more relieved than happy. Lily stood up shakily from the stool, gave the hat to Flitwick and then made her way to her brothers who had saved her a seat. Of course, they wanted to talk about why the hat took so long, knowing from their father’s descriptions that the hat takes time if it is talking to you. But of course, the next person was sorted and they had to be silent- Lily could tell them later. On the other side of James, Rose was staring avidly at Lily as if dying to know every little detail of what the hat said. Now it was only Hugo that was not at Hogwarts and in a way it felt kind of lonely without him.  
Lily, remembering that Severus would have been sitting at the staff table, searched for him with her eyes to see where he was sitting. Sure enough, he was sitting right next to Minerva and was also looking at Lily. Of course, Severus was also curious about what the hat said to her, but rather than giving Lily a confused expression, Severus gave her a smile; he knew Lily had it in her.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Later that year

It was two days before the end of term. Most of the students had finished their exams and spent the last couple of days relaxing, socializing and speculating what marks they were going to get.   
Albus was doing just as well as James, though they were in different years, they seemed to be equally as intelligent, but with differing strengths. It amused Harry and Ginny that Al was more efficient at Potions whereas James was more proficient at Transfiguration. Of course Rose maintained the top position in her and Albus’ year, and proved to anyone who doubted her that she was definitely Hermione’s daughter.  
Hogwarts was everything Lily expected to be and much more. Harry and Ginny found that with each of their children; no matter how much you tell them, the castle they grew up in seemed to contain thousands of surprises and never failed to amaze. Lily’s favourite subject was charms; it was fun, very useful and also the best opportunity to meet new people.

But for some people, Hogwarts was the same as ever. Severus was still teaching Defense against the Dark Arts to the students and although he had thankfully gained more respect from the current students than from the ones he had back when Harry was at Hogwarts, it was becoming rather repetitious and yet he could not imagine himself doing anything different- Hogwarts was where it all began and he refused to leave.  
On the final Tuesday evening of term, Severus was marking the first years’ exams when a silvery, stern looking cat with square outlines around the eyes flew into Severus’ office and spoke with Minerva’s voice:  
Severus, there will be a staff meeting in my office at 8pm tonight. It would be ideal if you would attend as there are important matters I must discuss with the Professors.  
Severus continued to stare at the place where the cat had just vanished. As far as Severus knew there had not been a single staff meeting since the days when Greyback was still at large and looking for the Deathly Hallows. Deciding that it would be important for him to attend, Severus made a mental note of the meeting and continued marking the examination papers.

At ten minutes to eight, Severus left his office (having eaten dinner an hour prior to this) and headed up to the headmistress’ office.  
Once he knocked and heard Minerva beckon him to enter, Severus stepped into the office to realise that he was alone. Forgetting to close the door, perhaps in the confusion of it all, Severus stood stock still at the door’s entrance and asked Minerva:   
“Where are the other staff members, Minerva?”  
McGonagall smiled and gestured for Severus to sit down. “They will be coming soon, but I wanted to talk to you privately first,” she explained.  
Having no idea what there could be to discuss, Severus unfroze himself from the doorway and closed the door. After sitting down across from Minerva’s desk, he looked at her and asked: “What is it that you want to discuss?” feeling both confused and curious.  
Minerva sighed, a sound of which Severus had never heard her utter, stood up from her desk and moved around it so she was standing next to her colleague.  
“Severus, I have decided to retire as Headmistress.”  
This sentence took a moment for Severus to process; the idea that Minerva McGonagall was no longer going to be at Hogwarts seemed bizarre to him.  
“Why?” Was the only response Severus could think of giving.  
“Why?” Minerva laughed a little. “Do you know how old I am?”  
“No, Minerva and I am not about to ask you something so personal.”  
“All you need to know is that I am old, Severus and although I love Hogwarts and being the headmistress here, I feel it is time for me to leave and enjoy the rest of my life with my family and-”  
“You have a family?” Severus asked, before he even thought about what he was saying. Minerva could tell he was shocked, after all, the families of the staff are very rarely mentioned in the staff room or during meal times.  
“Yes, I do have a family. A husband and four children, though of course they now have families of their own, but nevertheless I would very much like to spend more time with them.”  
Severus nodded; he understood.  
“Why are you telling me this?”  
“I thought a man of your intelligence would have figured that out by now,” Minerva teased and Severus smiled a little.  
“I believe I know what you want of me, Minerva,” Severus admitted.  
“I am offering you the position of Headmaster, Severus.”  
This was what Snape was expecting, but to hear the words from Minerva still had a significant impact on him. Not only was Minerva leaving, but he would, in essence become the leader- the head figure of Hogwarts.  
“What about Filius?” Severus asked.  
“Are you trying to get out of this? Reject my offer civilly?” Minerva implored, though she looked amused as she stared at Severus.  
“No, I am merely wondering why you have chosen me above any of the other Heads of Houses and more so, the Deputy Headmaster,” Severus pointed out. “Surely Filius deserves this position more than I,” Severus continued.  
“Perhaps, but in case you have not noticed, Filius is not much younger than myself and I would imagine that he will also be retiring soon.”  
“But what about-” Severus continued on.   
“Severus, if you do not want the position, you can simply say so,” Minerva interrupted. “You are avoiding giving me an answer and I am curious to know why,” she continued smiling a little at Severus obvious nervousness.  
“I do not understand why you have chosen me above every other staff member that works here,” Severus replied a little angrily due to the fact that he realised that Minerva was greatly amused by him.  
“You have been Headmaster before,” Minerva reasoned in a logical manner.  
Severus paused momentarily before replying: “You do remember the conditions under which I became Headmaster do you not? Or has your age affected your memory?”  
“Severus, there is no need to get defensive and no, my memory is crystal clear, I thank you.”  
“I was taking orders from Albus and the Dark Lord whilst I was Headmaster here. The students feared me- hated me and no decision I made was my own-”  
“Except the choice to keep the students safe and to obey Dumbledore’s orders at great risk to yourself. You made many choices that year, Severus, even if no one was aware of it. Despite my belief that you were a rotten traitor, I never failed to realise that not once was a student in any danger whilst under your watch. I am asking you to take over as Headmaster because I know you will protect the students and after everything you have done I believe you deserve that honour… if you are willing to accept it.”  
These words enveloped Severus and his thoughts, and Minerva knew better than to interrupt Severus’ thought processes. If Minerva was truly serious about this, Severus was inclined to take up the opportunity; it would be a different role for him to play and perhaps the best part would be that he would no longer be required to mark exam papers and essays- the poor ones were particularly tedious.  
“Hypothetically, let us assume that I do accept your offer. Who do you plan to take my place, hypothetically,” Severus emphasised again.  
Minerva smiled and Severus struggled to think of what was so amusing about this.  
“I have thought about this for a couple of weeks, but can only think of one possibility. I have communicated with the man and he seems keen to take the position if you, as the future Headmaster are also supportive of the appointment.”  
“And to whom are you referring, Minerva?” Severus inquired.  
“Harry Potter.”  
Severus forced himself to prevent his jaw from dropping.  
“Are you out of your mind? Harry is still working for the Ministry, there is no possible way he could teach here and still be the head of the Auror office,” Severus asserted, disappointed at Minerva’s lack of thought into this idea.  
“Do you really think I would have mentioned this possibility to you if I hadn’t already discussed it with Potter? Harry has decided that he will be promoting Ron Weasley into that position and while he will continue to assist Ron in his duties, he will retire as an Auror.”  
“And what in the world would possess him to do that? To consider that possibility? You know that it was Harry’s ambition, from a young age, to be an Auror?”  
“And in case you haven’t noticed Severus, he has achieved that goal, hasn’t he?”  
“Yes, but to give it up to teach?”  
“Harry informed me that he always wanted to come back to Hogwarts to teach Defense against the Dark Arts after he retired.”  
“He is no where near old enough to retire-”  
“It is his choice-”  
“I will not allow him to give that up-”  
“It is his choice, Severus-”  
“There must be someone else who can-”  
“Severus! Get a hold of yourself. Harry is not a student anymore. He is a grown man and is perfectly capable of making his own decisions. If this is what he wants, then I do not see how you can have a problem with it.”  
“He contacted me a couple of days ago, organizing when I would be coming over for dinner- he never mentioned anything about this.”  
“I told him not to until I had the chance to speak with you.”  
“But that-”  
“Severus, put Harry aside for a moment and consider what I have been asking you for almost half an hour. I am offering you the position of Headmaster because I think you are more than capable., I believe you would gain a lot from the position and Hogwarts will, of course, benefit from your guidance. It is entirely up to you whether or not you want to take the job, but do not make your choice based on how Harry’s life would change-”  
“What about his children? It is not easy being taught by a parent.”  
“And you know this from personal experience, do you?”  
“I am merely saying-”  
“That you are thinking of everyone else, but yourself.”  
“I-“ But Severus could not continue. Of course, Minerva was right, Severus was thinking of Harry and his children; he had grown so close to them over the last few years that the consequences of their father teaching at their school completely overrode the fears he had about being Headmaster himself.”  
“Put Harry aside, Severus.”  
“But what about you?” Severus cut it. “You have been teaching here for so long. It will not be Hogwarts without you.”  
“That’s lovely of you, Severus, but I am old-”  
“Albus was still Headmaster at 166 years of age! And although I do not know exactly how old you are Minerva, I know you are not older than he was.”  
“True, but sadly, Albus had no family except Aberforth to be with. His life was this school and he would have remained Headmaster, even if that dreadful night had never happened.”  
Severus was running out of points to make. It seemed that no matter what he said or suggested, Minerva had something to fire back at him. So, Severus asked the final question, the last answer he wanted before he made up his mind.  
“Do you truly believe I will be a satisfactory Headmaster?” He asked, looking into Minerva’s eyes as if determined to detect a lie.  
“I do.”  
“But you know I will not be as good as you, or Albus for that matter.”  
“Do not doubt yourself, Severus,” Minerva said smiling. “You have it in you, you just need to believe in yourself.”  
Despite how clichéd those words were, Severus knew she meant it.  
“Does this mean you accept my offer?” Minerva asked, moving back to her desk and sitting down.  
Severus nodded.  
“Excellent. Thank you, Severus. If you wish you may go now or-”  
“What about the staff meeting?”  
Minerva couldn’t help but laugh.  
“There was no staff meeting, Severus. All of the staff are aware that I am retiring and have given their utmost support for you being Headmaster. Harry has already handed in his resignation and I shall be informing the students tomorrow of my leaving, your promotion and Harry Potter’s addition to the staff.”  
Severus felt a little angry: “So you knew I would agree?”  
Minerva shook her head. “No, I just hoped you would, Severus.”  
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Severus demanded, standing up as he did so.  
“The very best.” But it wasn’t Minerva who replied but Albus Dumbledore who had returned to his portrait not long ago.  
“Albus?”  
“You were given the position many years ago to fulfill the wishes of both myself and Lord Voldemort. It is time that the future generation and those of the past see Severus Snape as the Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, organizing the school, managing the school as he sees fit. It is time to make your mark, Severus,” Albus asserted, his blue eyes twinkling.  
Severus nodded and bade farewell to Minerva and Albus. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he was nervous about becoming Headmaster and feared the following evening when Minerva would be announcing his appointment to the school and yet, he was excited too- this was his chance to make an impact- to be remembered as something more…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“May I have your attention please?” Minerva requested of the Great Hall; there was much talking as it was the final feast for the school year.  
Eventually the students’ chatter died down.  
“Thank you,” Minerva said sounding a little relieved. “I would like to make a few announcements before you head off to bed, having just enjoyed a delicious supper. I would firstly like to say congratulations to the seventh years, all of whom have done Hogwarts proud by achieving admirable marks in their NEWTS. The staff and I wish you well in whatever you decide to do once you leave the school and we hope you will continue to value and cherish the last seven years you have spent here. To everyone else, we wish you a safe holiday and we hope to see you all back next year safe and sound. But it is with sadness that I inform you that like the present seventh years, this will also be my final year at Hogwarts.”  
There was much talking at this as every student seemed to have an opinion about this revelation. Minerva picked up her spoon and knocked it against her goblet to gain everyone’s attention once more.  
“Quiet down please!” Minerva insisted and after five minutes, the students were silent.  
“I have decided it is time for me to leave Hogwarts, though I will miss it greatly, I leave knowing that the staff support both myself and your new Headmaster, Professor Snape.”  
At this there was a louder outburst of talk than the initial revelation and Minerva knew this was because most of them were expecting Professor Flitwick to take over.  
“I know that this appointment is slightly unorthodox due to the fact that the Deputy of the school generally takes over the position of Head, but we have decided to do things a little differently this time- Professor Flitwick will remain Deputy and Professor Snape will take my place starting from the first of September. I expect that you will show him the same courtesy and respect you have shown me since you have been at Hogwarts, and I hope I will continue to hear great things about this school at which I have worked at my entire life. So please, let us congratulate Professor Snape on his new position.”   
Minerva started applauding as did every other staff member. Severus looked out over the Great Hall and saw Lily, James, Albus and Rose sitting together cheering and clapping the loudest with huge smiles on their faces; they couldn’t be happier.  
Severus didn’t do anything- he couldn’t; he simply sat there listening to the applause echoing off the walls of the hall. 

Once the talk and applause had died down, Minerva continued: “So of course, this means we have a vacancy for the position of Defense against the Dark Arts professor and I am glad to announce that we have found someone to take over from Professor Snape’s excellent work. I had the opportunity to talk to this man of recent and he is eager to start teaching here, so I hope that you will also treat him with the same respect you have shown me and the rest of the staff. As of the first of September, Harry Potter will be your new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.”  
Severus thought the first and second outbursts of talk were noisy, but they were nothing compared to the response that was given by every single student in the Hall upon hearing that they were to be taught by Harry Potter. Everyone, it seemed had an opinion about this and wished to vocalize it at the same time as their peers. Severus quickly browsed the room and saw that everyone, including the Slytherins were excited as opposed to resentful or disappointed by this news. Having realised that there was a general acceptance of Harry Potter at the school, Severus turned his attention back to Lily, Albus and James who clearly had no idea that their father was going to be their teacher. Since talking to Minerva last night, Severus’ greatest worry was for Harry and Ginny’s children and their reactions; but now that he was watching the three children high five one another, laugh and smile and have several of their fellow Gryffindors pat them on the back and scream with excitement, Severus was content that Minerva’s decision- his decision, was a good one.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Albus and Rose had just completed their first lesson with Harry as their new Defense against the Dark Arts professor. Perhaps it was Albus’ imagination, but he was sure that everyone was even more polite and well behaved in the presence of his father, than even Professor Snape when he was their teacher. Pleased that students his age respected his dad almost as much as the previous generation, Albus enjoyed the lesson immensely. 

Albus and Rose had become closer this year, despite only having been at Hogwarts for two days since the summer break, they were now in their fifth year and both with silver Prefect badges on their chests. They wondered, Al more so than Rose whether Severus gave them this honour because he knew them personally or because they actually deserved it. Of course, Rose was top of the class and hence deserved the badge, but Albus saw no difference between himself and his fellow Gryffindors and couldn’t work out why he was singled out by their Headmaster.  
Now that they shared Prefect duties, Albus and Rose had learnt more about each other, Al knew when to let Rose take the lead, but also knew when she needed help. In fact, they made a pretty impressive team, but no one was more pleased than Harry who was delighted that the two of them were so organized and disciplined in their duties.  
Rose and Albus were relieved that lessons were finally over for the day. Thankfully, Professor Potter (which still sounded extremely weird to say) conducted an intriguing lesson, preparing them for what they were going to learn now that they were in their OWL year, but the day had been long and so Rose and Albus went up to the Gryffindor Tower, hoping to relax before dinner.

Now that they had been at Hogwarts for so many years, they knew the school well. Although they didn’t know all the secret passageways in and out of the school, they had explored the castle enough to know the various ways in which they can get back to the tower from Harry’s classroom.  
Taking one of their favourite shortcuts (which passes several portraits who pull funny faces when you walk by) the two prefects stopped to muse one of the portraits when they heard yelling up ahead.  
“I told you not to bother me anymore!”  
“But that isn’t fair just because I’m-”  
“A Mudblood, that’s right! Do you know what would happen if I was caught-”  
“Hey, what’s going on?” Albus intercepted, standing in between the boy and girl who looked to be in third year.  
“Nothing,” the girl mumbled, blushing and made an effort to run away from the scene.  
“Hang on a second,” Rose said quickly, sticking out her arm so the girl could not yet leave. “We need to sort out something before you leave. What’s your name?” Rose asked kindly.  
The girl looked reluctant to answer and turned between Rose and the boy with whom she was fighting and refused to speak.  
“You won’t be in trouble,” Albus reassured her. “Please tell us your name.”  
“Jessie,” the girl whispered looking down at her shoes.  
“And your name?” Rose turned and asked the boy.  
“Daniel,” the boy replied, looking both defiant and a little scared.  
“Would one of you like to tell us what was happening here?” Albus asked, looking between Daniel and Jessie.  
“It’s none of your business!” Daniel shouted. “It’s over, we sorted it out!”  
“I doubt that,” Rose replied having seen the look on Jessie’s face.   
“Why do you care anyway?” Daniel pressed on, clearly he wanted to leave.  
“We are Prefects and we heard you both arguing and thought we better sort out the problem,” Rose explained, looking intently into Daniel’s face- never before had she been spoken that way by someone younger than herself.  
“Oh so being Prefects gives you the right to butt into other people’s business?” Daniel argued.  
“No, but it gives us the right to report students to the Headmaster if we believe they have done something wrong.”  
“I haven’t even hurt her!” Daniel cried. “She’s fine and I didn’t say anything that would upset-”  
“Well in that case, you had better look at your friend and then determine whether or not she is hurt,” Albus replied rather harshly.   
Daniel moved his eyes quickly to look at Jessie and then immediately returned his gaze to Albus; apparently Daniel had noticed the tears in Jessie’s eyes, but pretended not to care.  
“Jessie’s upset, do you know why?” Rose pressed on.  
“Because I yelled at her?” Daniel suggested and neither Rose nor Albus could tell if he was being sincere or not.  
Rose was just about to answer ‘no’ when she, Albus and Daniel saw Jessie shake her head.  
“Oh, um because I dumped her?” Daniel suggested.  
“Were you boyfriend and girlfriend?” Albus asked before he could stop himself.  
“Yeah, we were, but she just told me that she’s a Mudblood so I-”  
Albus and Rose were staring fixedly, perhaps even aggressively at the boy, thinking that he would get the hint, but he hardly seemed to notice despite Jessie’s many tears pouring down her face.  
“She is Muggleborn, not a Mudblood,” Rose corrected somewhat aggressively.  
“I don’t see what the difference is,” Daniel said and it was clear to Rose and Albus that he did know the difference in etiquette.  
“You are to apologise to Jessie right now and then we are going to take you to Professor Snape’s office where you will hopefully be put on detention for using disgusting language in the corridors,” Albus spoke in a stern tone, staring into Daniel’s eyes. “Apologise now.”  
“I don’t have to! I have been dating Jessie for weeks, I even told my parents about it- if they found out I was dating a-”  
“If you say that word one more time-”  
“What? You’re going to take me to Professor Snape? Ooo I’m so scared. I’ll just tell my father and he will inform the ministry that Professor Snape chose the two of you as Prefects because he knows you- my father can claim that I did nothing wrong- that you simply don’t like me and wanted revenge and Professor Snape decided to help you out.”  
It was no secret to anyone in Hogwarts that Professor Snape knew the Potters and Rose outside of school, but for Daniel to point out the relationship so plainly to them, made Albus slightly worried. But the fact remained that Daniel still broke the rules of Hogwarts and they were going to report him regardless of the threats he laid at their door.  
“That has nothing to do with what you-”  
“But you can’t deny it! Isn’t your middle name Severus? Weren’t you named after Professor Snape?”  
“Yes, I was but-”  
“So are you just taking me to his office so you have an excuse to see him?”  
“No, it is because you have done something wrong-” Albus was beginning to lose his temper.  
“It’s just a word.”  
“No, it’s not just a word Daniel and for the mere fact that you do not care-”  
“Why? Are you related to a Mud-”  
“Albus, don’t!” Rose yelled, holding back her cousin’s hand as he went to pull out his wand. “We can’t use magic in the corridors and especially not on another student!”  
“Did I touch a nerve?” Daniel teased.  
Albus was too angry, too furious to answer so Rose decided she had better take over before giving her cousin another reason to duel.  
“My mother is Muggleborn as was Albus’ grandmother. The word you used is a foul, disgusting name to call someone and no one, not even purebloods, should get away with it.”  
“Couldn’t you just deduct some house points?” Daniel asked, clearly fed up with the conversation.  
“We will, but because you have continued to use the word and furthermore refused to apologise to Jessie, we believe it is necessary that you see Professor Snape because you did something wrong and not because we know him.”  
“You never told me to apologise to Jessie,” Daniel protested.  
“We shouldn’t have to!” Albus yelled.  
“Al, calm down-”  
“But Rose, he’s-”  
“I know, just let me handle it, okay?”  
Albus nodded and took a step back, though he never took his eyes off Daniel.  
“Daniel, did you enjoy your time with Jessie before you found out she was Muggleborn?” Rose’s tone had completely changed; she was now speaking in a kind manner.  
“Yes, but-”  
“Then you must care for her right?”  
“Well, maybe but-”  
“Then apologise to Jessie for what you said,” Rose ordered, calmly and simply.  
Daniel shuffled his feet a little and then looking at the ground he said: “Sorry,” but in a somewhat resentful tone. Realising that this was probably going to be the best they were going to get out of him, Rose asked Jessie.   
“Are you okay?”  
She nodded, though tears were still streaming down her face.  
“There’s nothing wrong with being a Muggleborn. It’s just people like him,” Albus pointed at Daniel who was now standing behind him. “Who believe that it makes a difference. Don’t worry about it, okay? You deserve better,” Albus reassured her. Jessie smiled a little and then ran towards the Great Hall.  
“Let’s go to the Headmaster’s office,” Rose decided once Jessie was out of sight. “Come on, Daniel.”  
Either the boy had completely lost his arrogant attitude or he felt guilty after hearing what Albus said to Jessie, because he followed Rose and Albus without question to the gargoyle that was guarding the spiral staircase up to the Severus’ office.  
“Veritaserum,” Albus said to the gargoyle which leapt aside to let them pass.  
“Veritaserum?” Daniel muttered just loud enough for Albus and Rose to hear.  
“It’s one of Professor Snape’s specialties,” Rose explained.   
“Oh,” Daniel breathed and it was at this moment that the boy seemed to realise that even if he tried to get out of being punished, Professor Snape would most likely use Veritaserum and he would have no choice but to tell the truth.

After knocking on the Headmaster’s door and hearing a “come in” in reply, Rose led Daniel and Albus into the room, the latter closing the door behind him.  
“Good Evening Miss Weasley, Mr Potter,” Severus addressed them pleasantly, but then looking at the sheepish and almost frightened look on the younger boy’s face, he continued. “May I ask why you have bought this student to my office?”  
“We were walking back from class when we heard this boy having an argument with his girlfriend,” Rose explained.  
“But surely the argument has now ended?” Severus enquired, feeling that there had to be something more to the story than Rose was letting on.  
“He called her a Mudblood,” Albus blurted out, clearly there was still residual anger dwelling inside of him.  
Severus turned slightly pale and Albus was sure he saw something flicker in the man’s eyes. After a moment’s pause, Severus continued:  
“Why did you not simply deduct points from him? You are aware that this is not a rule that, when broken, deserves a detention- though perhaps it should be…”  
“He was rude, he back chatted us and threatened us that if we brought him to you he would tell his father who would inform the Ministry that you are favouring us because we know you outside of Hogwarts,” Albus blurt out yet again.  
Severus turned to Daniel and saw that he clearly regretted making those comments now.  
“He made it personal Professor Snape,” Rose continued in a much calmer tone. “And he continued to use the word carelessly in front of us and we wouldn’t stand for it, so we thought we should bring him to you.”  
Professor Snape sat in his chair not quite knowing what to do. He knew, of course, why Rose and Albus were so offended by the boy’s remarks and use of the word, but Severus couldn’t forget that he too was once a child who said the very same thing. Putting his past aside, however, he knew that as Headmaster, regardless of the feelings of Rose and Albus, he was not able to discipline the boy by any means more than giving him a single detention and losing a few house points. For one thing, he knew that no matter how many detentions the boy received, he would always use that horrific word for as long as his parents endorsed it.  
“What is your name?” Snape addressed the boy, who ever since entering the room, looked down at his feet.  
“Daniel,” the boy muttered.   
“Surname?”  
“Wester,” Daniel mumbled, still not looking up at Severus.  
“What house are you in Mr Wester?”  
“Slytherin.”  
“Well, Mr Wester I will be informing your Head of House about this incident. You will serve detention with Professor Potter tonight- you will be his first, I’m sure he will be delighted,” Severus said in a serious tone. “And I wouldn’t mention that word to him either, seeing as his mother was Muggleborn and I doubt he will look upon that with kindness. You will also lose 40 points from Slytherin. That word is never acceptable to use, under any circumstance and being rude to Prefects of any house is also not permitted. Make sure that I never hear that you have used it again. You may go,” Severus ordered and it seemed Daniel took no time at all to escape the office. Rose and Albus however remained behind.  
“You both know that there was no need to bring Mr Wester to my office. You have the power to deduct points. Saying something like that, though highly offensive and completely unacceptable at this school, is something that he was taught. It was not necessarily his fault- he knew no different.”  
“Are you actually standing up for him?” Albus asked in disbelief, and looked as if Severus had slapped him across the face.  
“No, I am merely saying that there are many Slytherins who would say something like that- what he said was not right and definitely deserved a talking to, but his parents would have told him those values-”  
“That doesn’t make it any less wrong!” Albus protested. “He spoke carelessly as if the word was no different to any other word, like the fact that he is pureblood gives him the right to say something like that to another student-”  
“You did well to discipline him and we can hope that he takes a leaf out of your book Mr Potter, and learn to treat others with more respect, but his parents-”  
“Are you telling me that if Daniel was in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Gryffindor, he would deserve a worse punishment simply because his parents did not pass on those pureblood values? Mum and Uncle Ron are both pureblood and I have never heard them call anyone a ‘Mudblood’.”  
“Mr Wester is a child-”  
“And that’s an excuse?”  
“He made a mistake!” Severus yelled, getting to his feet, making Rose and Albus jump.  
“No, he didn’t,” Albus muttered. “He knew what he was saying. He said it loud and clear- shoved it in his girlfriend’s face, spoke of his parents and how disgusted they would be with him as if she were dirt beneath his feet. He didn’t make a mistake, Professor Snape, but you did-”  
“Get out!”  
“Severus, calm yourself-”  
Professor Snape spun around and looked into the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore whose portrait still resided behind his desk.  
“Stay out of this!” Severus hissed.  
“This is not about you. Albus and Rose were offended by what Daniel said and they simply wanted you to agree with them, and tell them that they were right to bring Mr Wester to you. This is not an attack upon your past, Severus,” Dumbledore explained and then, turning to Al and Rose as if nothing had happened, he said:  
“I haven’t seen you two in a long while.”  
“Hi Professor Dumbledore,” Rose whispered walking up to his frame.  
But Albus didn’t reply to Dumbledore’s welcome, he was watching Severus who had his head in his hands.  
After speaking for a couple of minutes with Rose, Dumbledore looked towards Al and noticed that he was still watching Severus. Dumbledore smiled a little and then he gestured for Albus to come to him. Albus walked towards Dumbledore and his cousin. Then Dumbledore lowered his voice so that only Al and Rose could hear.  
“You both did the right thing bringing Daniel to Professor Snape’s office. What he did and said was very wrong and you were right to suggest that he deserved to be punished. There was a time back when I was alive where calling someone a Mudblood, though rude and outright disgusting, was often ignored by the staff because we knew there was no point in trying to deter a pureblood, prejudiced family out of their ways. But these days, using that word is considered more profane- Hogwarts is gradually becoming more acceptable of everyone and most Slytherins now get along with most of the other students, with a few exceptions of course.” Dumbledore looked over at Severus who still rested his head in his hands, turned back to Rose and Al and continued: “You know, I suppose, that Professor Snape once called Lily Evans, Harry’s mother a Mudblood and although he has moved on and forgiven himself, it still hurts…” Dumbledore explained, a little concerned as he turned back to Severus.  
“I know, but he can’t defend-” Albus began to protest quietly.  
“He’s not defending Daniel, Al; he’s defending himself,” Dumbledore explained quietly and kindly.  
“But we weren’t attacking him,” Rose said looking worried. “We did not do this to offend him.”  
“I know,” Dumbledore replied nodding. “And I think Severus knows it too. Professor Snape made a mistake all those years ago, but Daniel did not. He deserved to be punished. You did the right thing,” Dumbledore reassured them.  
When the children realised there was nothing else Professor Dumbledore wanted to say, they moved back to the front of Severus’ desk and waited.  
Finally, Severus looked up; he hadn’t been crying, but he was pale and clearly distressed.  
“You’re not like Daniel, Professor Snape,” Rose whispered. “You made a mistake- you didn’t mean it, but he did,” Rose implored. “We knew we could have just deducted points, but we just thought that-”  
“It became personal. We shouldn’t have been affected so much by what he said. We’re sorry,” Albus interjected, finishing Rose’s sentence.  
But Severus raised his hand for silence and then spoke in what was barely more than a whisper.  
“Do not apologise. I was the one who took it personally. Had I never used that word myself I probably would have lectured the boy, perhaps even given him a greater punishment, but I couldn’t. I made it personal and for that, I apologise. You had every right to report him to me and I should have been an unbiased Headmaster, and defended you and that poor girl instead of thinking of myself-”  
“It’s okay Professor Snape. It’s over now- he has a detention and lost some house points and everything is okay, right?” Rose asked, looking between her cousin and Headmaster.  
“I’m sorry I lost my temper,” Albus apologised, looking Severus directly in the eye, which the man returned.  
“As am I,” Severus replied nodding his head.  
There was an awkward pause.  
“Well we better go down to dinner,” Rose said and then waving goodnight to Dumbledore and Severus, she and Albus left the office.   
After they closed the door behind them, Severus sighed and turned to face Dumbledore who was still sitting serenely in his portrait.  
“What came over me?” He asked the portrait, hoping the man would give him an answer that was different from the one he was thinking.  
“You were scared, Severus,” Dumbledore replied kindly.  
“Of what?”  
“The possibility that Albus Severus thought ill of you.”  
Severus sighed again. Then standing up, he pushed his chair aside and stood in front of Dumbledore’s portrait and asked with such pain and sincerity in his voice that Dumbledore could not help but be moved:  
“I have never been happier before in my life, Albus. I have a good job and I feel redeemed- I feel like I have made a difference- that I made something of myself. But every time something like this comes up- why Albus? Why can’t I let go of what I did?”  
“Because you loved her, Severus… because you love them all.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“I am hoping that today’s class will be a good one,” Harry announced once all of his sixth year students had taken their seats. “Because today I have decided that it is time for you to make an attempt at producing a Patronus.”  
There was much talking at these words, although they hadn’t had a lesson on Patronuses, most of them knew that Harry Potter was only 13 when he produced his first one and was eager to impress him with their own.  
Harry looked around the class and noticed that his son, James seemed to be outwardly excited, but there was a nervousness about him and Harry wondered whether the boy felt pressured to firstly show that he is indeed his father’s son, and to also produce an animal that would do him and his parents proud.  
“But before we start,” Harry continued, once the talk died down. “Can anyone tell me what a Patronus is?” Harry asked the class.  
No one seemed game enough to speak, though Harry was sure, by the excited chatter that most of them had a rough idea what a Patronus was. Slowly, James raised his hand.  
“Yes, Mr Potter?”  
“A Patronus is a positive force of light and goodness that is conjured by a wizard to protect him from dark creatures such as Dementors. Every Patronus is an animal that represents the specific person who conjured it, so no two Patronuses are alike,” James answered just loud enough for everyone to hear. Normally James loved answering questions in class, but he knew how personal Patronuses were and wasn’t sure if he was willing to reveal something so private to his class mates and most of all, his father.  
“Well done, Mr Potter, ten points to Gryffindor,” Harry said, beaming at his son.  
With a wave of his wand, Harry made all of the desks pile up on top of each other against each wall so that there was an empty space on the classroom floor for the students to practice on.  
“Everyone, please pick up your wands and stand in an area around the classroom.”  
There was much moving, pushing and shoving as students fought to get to the front as if eager to prove that they were capable and keen to produce a Patronus. James, however, moved towards the back of the classroom where few could see him.  
“Now, in order to produce a Patronus you need to think of something happy. If you are ever in danger, however, the memory you choose will have to be the most powerful, happy memory you can think of. But in this classroom, seeing as you are not under attack, any happy memory should suffice. The incantation for producing a Patronus is: Expecto Patronum. Can you remember that?”  
Harry was amused as he saw every student including his son, mouthing Expecto Patronum under their breath.   
“So on the count of three, hold your wand out, think of a happy memory and say: Expecto Patronum. On the count of three then: one, two, three!”  
Harry heard several cries of Expecto Patronum, and saw silvery mist coming out of every wand. Harry was impressed and excited; hopefully by the end of the lesson, he would have at least helped one student produce a corporeal Patronus.  
“That was very good everyone. Silver mist is the first sign of a Patronus, but when performed to its greatest extent, an animal should form before you. Nevertheless, this means that you are all capable of producing a Patronus. Perhaps you could choose a more powerful memory or otherwise focus more on producing the force that will protect you. On the count of three again: one, two, three.”  
And it happened, Harry’s smile broadened substantially as he saw three students produce corporeal Patronuses. Two of the eager students at the front succeeded, but shortly afterwards their Patronuses faded away, probably because they were so shocked that they succeeded, they became too excited and lost concentration. However, Harry’s eyes quickly swiveled to his son, who was, he only just realised, standing up the back and was putting all of his attention and determination into his Patronus which was hidden out of Harry’s sight. Harry slowly walked towards his son with great eagerness; he still had no idea what James’ Patronus actually was. The students parted slightly to let Harry through, most of them looked shocked and perhaps a little afraid? Harry wasn’t sure what to make of this, and became even more eager to reach his son.  
Once he reached James he was face to face, not with his son but with a huge, silver grizzly bear, who was, thankfully not standing on its hind legs, but was standing rather peacefully looking around at the students. Moving his wand slightly, perhaps as an experiment to see what he could make his Patronus do, James flicked his wand which caused the large bear to run to the other side of the room and appeared to be playing some sort of joke with one of James’ class mates. The students laughed, though perhaps a little nervously, but Harry understood their behaviour. The bear was playful, inquisitive and loved playing jokes, but it could also be strong and protective when it wanted to be. Harry was so proud of James and he could hardly speak.   
After watching his Patronus for a few more moments, James stopped focusing and watched as his Patronus faded away.  
James had such control, Harry could hardly believe it.  
“Well done, Mr Potter,” Harry said, smiling so broadly he must have looked a bit foolish. “That was amazing. You showed excellent control over your Patronus. I believe that is the first time you have produced Patronus, correct?”   
Harry already knew this was correct, but thought he had better treat James like any other student.  
James nodded.  
“And what do you think of your Patronus? Do you think it represents you well?”  
James nodded, it seemed that he too, couldn’t find the words to speak. Relief and happiness was flooding through him; his Patronus wasn’t some weak animal or something to laugh at; it was everything he hoped it would be and couldn’t wait to tell his mother, brother and sister what he had done.  
“Well, now that we have seen Mr Potter do a fantastic job, it’s time for the rest of you to show us what you’ve got! So, standing in your positions, let’s try again.”  
On the count of three, the students again uttered the words ‘Expecto Patronum!’ The two students at the front who produced their Patronuses previously were able to hold their concentration this time and Harry questioned them about their Patronuses. Towards the end of the class, four more students succeeded in producing a corporeal Patronus.  
Before the class was about to end, however, Harry asked the students to stand aside so he could magic the tables and chairs back into their original places and requested that they all sit down.  
“Before the bell rings, does any one have any questions about Patronuses?” Harry asked the class, most of whom looked excited and clearly couldn’t wait for their next DADA lesson to begin.  
A female student in the front row raised her hand which Harry acknowledged.  
“You haven’t showed us your Patronus, Professor Potter.”  
There was much talk and Harry smiled a little; he had completely forgotten to do a demonstration at the beginning of the class and thought that that was a rather poor mistake on his behalf.  
“I apologise, I completely forgot,” Harry said smiling and then standing up he said with great happiness and, thinking of his family he said: “Expecto Patronum!” Harry’s silver stag came galloping out of his wand and cantered around the classroom. After the excitement had died down and all attention was turned back to Harry, another student, a male, raised his hand.  
“I heard that Professor Snape’s Patronus is a doe. Is that true?”  
Harry looked at the boy intently for a moment and, realising that he was not anyone he recognised, he questioned how the boy could have known this. He turned briefly towards James who seemed just as confused as he was.  
Of course, this question caused quite a stir in the classroom, which distracted most of the students from Harry’s significant pause. He knew that Severus would not want him to openly admit to a group of sixth years that his Patronus was a doe, but then again, the significance behind the doe would provide a good educational basis for how Patronuses can change. The chatter had died down before Harry could make up his mind.   
Realising that he couldn’t hold off much longer he said: “Yes, Professor Snape’s Patronus is a doe.”   
Again the chatter started, most people wondering how it was possible for a male to have a female Patronus. Harry was eager to explain so he called for quiet.  
“Professor Snape is actually a great example of how Patronuses can change in accordance with things that happen in our lives. Most of us, when we produce our Patronuses, see an animal that represents who we are. In my case, my Patronus is a stag which actually represents the Animagus form my father once took.”  
“Your father was an Animagus?” One of the girls down the front asked with wide eyes.  
“Yes, though illegally mind you.” Harry chuckled to himself; he still couldn’t believe his father’s daring. “My Patronus has always been a stag and I believe it represents how much my father means to me even in his death. Professor Snape loved someone many years ago and it was due to this love that his Patronus has always been identical to hers.”  
“Does that mean he still loves that woman?”  
Harry paused a moment before answering.  
“I am not sure,” he said slowly. “But I think we can conclude that that woman means a great deal to him and in some way has made him the person he is today.”  
“That’s so romantic,” the girl in the front sighed, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh at what Severus would say if he were listening to their conversation.  
“Any other questions?”  
The same boy who asked about Severus’ Patronus, put up his hand once again.  
“I have heard that Professor Snape loved your mother- that your mother’s Patronus was a doe. And if that’s true could that mean that your mother’s Patronus was the female version of your father’s which showed her love for him?” The boy asked as if reasoning the situation as he spoke.  
Harry paused yet again. Either this boy was very inquisitive and deductive or he has been speaking to one of his children.  
“That is highly possible, yes,” Harry replied hesitantly.  
“So, Professor Snape loved your mother?”  
“Yes, he did.”  
There was silence.  
It wasn’t thirty seconds before Harry felt he needed to break the silence.  
“Does anyone else have any questions that do not involve myself or Professor Snape?”  
Once again the boy put up his hand and Harry practically held his breath waiting for the boy’s next question, fearing what else he may know.  
“But your mother is dead, right? So how can he be so affected by someone who is dead?”  
“It is complicated,” Harry replied, beginning to dislike the boy more and more, but knew that he was not trying to be rude and was simply curious.  
“He couldn’t have known her for too long though. Your mother died when she was only twenty one and yet his every being, Professor Snape’s identity is based on… love?” The boy asked in disbelief.  
Harry was just about to answer when he heard a crash and saw James flying at the boy and beginning to punch his fellow student senseless.  
“James, no!” Harry yelled, pulling out his wand. “Protego!” he cried, forcing a shield between the two boys. James was panting, but seemed uninjured. Meanwhile, the other boy had a bleeding nose and seemed to have a bruise beginning to appear over his eye.  
“Mr Potter, what do you think you were doing?”  
James didn’t say anything and continued to stare at Harry absolutely furious that his father stopped him from beating the guy to a pulp; how dare he insult Severus?  
“Sorry,” James mumbled after a moments pause.  
“Please go up to Professor Snape’s office, I will meet you up there once class is dismissed.  
“Fine!” James yelled, and swinging his bag over his shoulder, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.  
Harry watched his son leave, feeling a mixture of anger, disappointment and regret.  
“What is your name?” Harry asked the boy who had just been beaten by his son.  
“Trevor Johnston,” he replied defiantly.  
“Well Mr Johnston. I will not punish you for this incident, seeing as you did not begin that attack. However, I ask that in future, whenever you are in my class you do not mention anything personal about myself, my family or Severus. Is that understood?”  
“But I was just asking-”  
“I know, but in future could you please ask me before or after class. I do not believe it is appropriate to talk about the Headmaster’s personal life in our classroom.”  
“Why was James so offended anyway?” Trevor asked and it was clear to Harry that Trevor did not see what he did wrong and Harry despised the boy for it.  
“My family are close to Professor Snape and neither myself nor James appreciated the way in which you insulted his very existence.”  
“I wasn’t trying to-”  
“I am aware that it was unintentional. But Patronuses are extremely personal and there is no way of changing them until one is ready. Professor Snape loved my mother, even if he only knew her for a short time. Love is very powerful- never underestimate it Mr Johnston.”  
Finally the bell rang and Harry sighed in relief. He watched as Trevor and the rest of his students filed out of the classroom talking quietly to one another. Harry had been looking forwards to this lesson for weeks, but not anymore… now he needed to go to Severus’ office to explain what had happened and he feared how Severus would react to the news.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Mr Potter,” Severus said in shock as he looked up from his desk to see James standing before him. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”  
“My dad sent me here,” James said, crossing his arms and sitting down in the chair Harry frequently occupied whilst Dumbledore was still Headmaster.  
Severus paused. He always wondered, with Harry being a professor, what he would do if one of his children misbehaved and now he knew.  
“May I ask what you did?” Severus inquired, looking at James intently over his folded hands.  
James didn’t look up, but continued to stare at his crossed arms as he replied: “I punched someone.”  
“I see… I assume your father will be joining us shortly?”  
James nodded at the ground. Severus sat back in his chair and turned around to look at Dumbledore who looked a little worried sitting in his portrait.  
After ten minutes, Harry entered the office looking a little shaken. Closing the door quickly behind him, without even acknowledging Severus, he stormed over to his son and stood next to the boy, who didn’t dare look up; he knew how angry his father would be.  
“What do you think you were doing, James? What possessed you to punch that boy in front of so many people and in my classroom?”  
James remained silent.  
“The boy is now in the hospital wing getting patched up by Madam Pomfrey and when he is released I want you to apologise to him-”  
“No,” James said, looking into his father’s eyes. “I won’t apologise for what I did; he deserved it.”  
“He was inquisitive- asking questions- there was no need to beat him up for being curious-”  
“He was not curious, he was being rude Dad and you know it!”  
Harry nodded. “Trevor should not have said the things he said, but you also should not have leapt over your desk to beat him up for it. I am the professor, it was my job to discipline him not yours, James.”  
“But you weren’t doing anything! You let him ask all those questions without even punishing him for it! I thought you would have stood up for yourself!”  
“He wasn’t attacking me-”  
“Yes he was!” James yelled, standing up. Although he was still shorter than Harry by a couple of inches, his standing did make Harry withdraw slightly. “He was ignorant like Voldemort, Dad. He believes love is pitiful, useless and weak and after everything you, Mum and even Severus have taught me about how powerful it is do you really think I was going to sit there quietly while this idiot pretended that he knew better than you? Better than Severus? You heard they way he was talking about Professor Snape-”  
“Excuse me?” Severus had cut across James and it seemed for a moment that the Potters had forgotten that Severus was there listening to them.  
James sat back down in the chair again, folded his arms and stared at his father as if daring him to explain what happened in his classroom.  
Harry sighed, conjured himself a chair, and then he too sat down facing Severus who was looking between the two of them wondering how on earth his name was brought into a DADA lesson.  
“The sixth years were practicing conjuring Patronuses today,” Harry said quietly, hoping that such an introduction would prepare Severus for what was about to come.  
Harry looked up at Severus and saw that he did seem to understand where the conversation was going, but did not interrupt.  
“I am happy to say that James was the first to produce and maintain impressive control over his corporeal Patronus. I’m really proud of you James,” Harry said, turning to face his son. James, however, ignored his father’s compliment.  
“Towards the end of the lesson, I asked the class if they had any questions about Patronuses. A boy,” Harry said, pausing a little, “asked me if Professor Snape’s Patronus was a doe- I don’t know how he knew,” Harry emphasised, having seen the stricken look on Severus’ face. “I did not know what to say to him; I knew you would not want the whole class to know, but I also thought that it would be a good example of how Patronuses can change in light of traumatic or emotional upheavals. After much consideration, I told them that it was true. Of course, I then explained what happened, after which that same boy asked whether the person you loved was my mother- I honestly do not know how he knew this, Severus. But again I answered him honestly. The conversation that ensued became even more personal and I asked the boy to put a stop to it, but he continued. It was when he said in a rather disrespectful tone, I admit, that because your Patronus is still a doe after all these years, that your very being is of love and nothing else, that was- that was when James attacked him.”  
Harry stopped and dared a brief look at Severus who was pale and clenching his jaw rather aggressively.  
Harry knew Severus would not be happy, but hoped nonetheless that the man wouldn’t yell; he hates it when Severus gets angry.  
After a moment, Severus seemed to calm down a little and then, turning to James he said:  
“You started the brawl in retaliation to the attack upon myself and indirectly, your father?”  
James nodded.  
“There will be no punishment,” Severus said firmly. “If you want you may go.”  
James smiled a little- grateful that Severus was taking his side and seemed to appreciate what he did. James slowly stood up and looked uncertainly at his father, but Harry didn’t look back, he was staring at Snape.  
“Is it okay if I go, Dad?” James asked quietly, knowing that his dad was unhappy with him and now Severus too.  
“Yes James, see you tomorrow,” Harry replied, though he didn’t take his eyes off Severus.  
Once James had left the room, both Harry and Severus stood up simultaneously and Severus moved around the table so that he and Harry were face to face.  
“He should have been punished,” Harry said into Severus face. “You made this personal.”  
“It was personal, Harry. James should not have started that fight but he was provoked-”  
“Indirectly! The boy was not trying to attack anyone, least of all James. You should have punished James for landing the boy in the hospital wing, regardless of whether he was provoked or not!”  
“It is my choice to decide how the students of this school are to be punished, Potter!”  
“And it is also your responsibility to ensure that the rules of the school are maintained, Severus! You know very well that any other headmaster would have at least deducted points from his house! When I was at Hogwarts you took every opportunity to deduct points from me and now that you have the opportunity to discipline people who are ACTUALLY doing something wrong, you let them off?”  
“You know as well as I do that things were very different back then-”  
“What? The fact that you like my son means that he doesn’t deserve to be punished? I am his father and even I know that he should have been punished for beating up a child in the classroom!”  
“If you wish to give your son detention, by all means do so, but I am on his side-”  
“Just because he stood up for you?”  
“Yes and-”  
“Because I allowed that conversation to take place you are now punishing me for it?”  
“No-”  
“What else was I supposed to tell them, Severus? Did you want me to lie? It was clear that that boy knew the answer already- perhaps he was testing me to see how loyal I was to you and your secrets. But this school cannot be bias, especially the Headmaster; every student must be treated equally including my children and you have not done that this evening, Severus.”  
“You are in no position to tell me how to do my job!” Severus spat in Harry’s face.  
“You are being bias!”  
“Just like Albus was with you?”  
“Do not bring me into this, Severus,” Dumbledore muttered from his portrait.  
“In case you have forgotten, Severus, I was the person who defeated Lord Voldemort all those years ago. Dumbledore needed me to be free from your detentions! Just because he didn’t allow me to be placed in detention whenever you requested it, didn’t make him biased, it made him just which is more than I can say for you!”  
“So it was perfectly reasonable for Dumbledore to defend you, but it is not permitted that I can be slightly biased towards James?”  
“He did something wrong, Severus! He beat up another student! He should be punished!” Harry yelled.  
“Then go and punish him! I have given you permission to do so and yet we are still arguing!” Severus fired back.  
“It should be you who is punishing him, not me! I am his father-”  
“Which is why you feel he deserves to be punished? James knows that he did something wrong, but he was reacting upon instinct, defending you- someone he cares about- do you really want to punish him for that?”  
“Let us not fool ourselves, Severus- he was defending you, not me-”  
“Is that your problem?”  
“NO! You are so eager to be accepted and admired by my children that whenever they stand up for you, you forget that you are their Headmaster and have a responsibility to treat them like everyone else! I know that you appreciate James’ defense of you and that you clearly despise me for admitting your private life to my class-”  
“Which you had no right to do-”  
“But it was the truth! If you haven’t moved on-”  
“I have moved on!” Severus screamed, looking hysterical. “I have moved on and I thought, up until this moment that my position as Headmaster was going perfectly. But now you inform me that a whole class of sixth years are now aware of my feelings for your mother, and although those feelings were true and genuine, they are not something I want the entire school to be privy to! This evening when I go down for dinner, everyone will know- do not deny it! My very reputation, my position as Headmaster will be looked upon differently, and I do not have the strength to stand before four hundred students and talk to them about it. So yes, Harry, I am mad at you, but no, I did not let James off simply for revenge. If we were to pretend that my personal life had nothing to do with this occurrence, I let him off the hook because he stood up for what he believed in. What he did was in honour of you and the values you taught him, and I praise him for that. As a Professor there is a question as to whether or not you should discipline him but as his father, you should be proud of your son!”  
Harry had both angry and sad tears in his eyes as he listened to Severus’ words. Severus noticed Harry’s hesitation and moved a little closer to the man and spoke in a gentler tone.  
“What James did is against the school rules and if he beats up another student again, I guarantee you that I will give him detention. As a professor you had every right and responsibility to send James to me and reprimand him, but as his father, you also should have acknowledged the fact that he was standing up for himself and you- you should be proud of him.”  
“You’re not a father-”  
“And I’m not trying to be. But I saw the way James was acting just now in your presence. He was able to accept being reprimanded by you as his Professor, but I am sure he would have also appreciated some fatherly support-”  
“So you thought you would fill in that void?”  
“Yes, because you weren’t there for him.”  
Harry stared into Severus’ face, not quite knowing what to say or do. Finally he said in a resigned, however bitter undertone:  
“My children are lucky to have you,” and with that, Harry stormed out of the office, closing the door behind him.   
Severus moved back around his desk and collapsed into the chair, sighing for the second time that week.  
“When you were Headmaster, was it always this hard?” Severus asked Albus.  
“Not for me, no.”  
“How can that be so? You had the Dark Lord, Harry and myself to be concerned with, not to mention the rest of the students.”  
“Being Headmaster was not easy, it never was, but I was not required to take sides with matters such as this, but you do and they are not easy choices to make. I am proud of you for standing up for James, but you do realise that you undermined Harry’s position as a professor, don’t you?”  
Severus nodded.  
“That is what makes it so hard, Severus. You care for all of them and they care about you.”  
“I know,” mumbled Severus, as he stood up and ventured to the Great Hall, preparing himself for whatever he was about to face.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

During dinner that night, Lily couldn’t help but notice that Rose, Al and even James looked unhappy. Extremely confused, she looked at her father who was sitting at the staff table to notice that he too looked… angry? Perhaps guilty?  
Lily had no idea what happened and whenever she asked her siblings what was wrong, none of them answered her fully. Hoping that the following morning her family may be a little more cheerful, she left the Great Hall the moment she finished dinner and began to ascend the stairs.  
“Hi Lily,” came a soft voice from Lily’s left. She turned around and saw a girl who was in her year and even slept in her dormitory. Lily always made an effort to be friends with Maggie, but for some reason the girl was more interested in listening than talking. Consequently, it shocked Lily considerably that Maggie would all of a sudden desire to speak with her.  
“Hi Maggie,” Lily said cheerfully and walking towards the girl. Maggie had black hair and extraordinary blue-green eyes. Lily always thought she looked gorgeous, but never had the courage to say anything to a girl who seemed so quiet and hidden. “Have you finished dinner early too?”  
The girl nodded and then motioned for Lily to follow her.  
“I just- I was just wondering what you know about Professor Snape,” Maggie whispered. Lily was taken aback; she was not expecting this.  
“Oh, um… quite a lot. Why?” she asked.  
“Well my brother is in your eldest brother’s Defense against the Dark Arts class and he told me that your dad told them that Professor Snape’s Patronus is a doe and I’m just wondering if- if you’ve seen it…” Maggie trailed off and it was clear to Lily that the girl was very shy.  
Finally Lily partially understood why her family was acting so strangely.  
“Yes I have seen it,” Lily replied a little uncertainly, not quite sure where Maggie was going with this conversation. “It’s really beautiful.”  
“So it’s true?” Maggie asked eagerly.  
“Yes, it is,” Lily smiled, amused by Maggie’s keen excitement. “But I don’t suppose you know what else may have happened in that class? My brother and father are acting really strangely. Do you know why?”  
Maggie looked a little concerned as if thinking about how to phrase her next sentence.   
Finally, she answered rather slowly.  
“My brother and his classmates were learning how to produce Patronuses. At the end of class your father asked if anyone had any questions. My brother had heard some rumors from our parents and other students that Professor Snape’s Patronus was a doe. My brother, I’m sorry to say, dared his friend Trevor to ask your dad if it was true. It seemed Trevor took the dare too far and the conversation got pretty personal. Your brother, I am told, beat Trevor up and was sent to Professor Snape’s office.”  
Lily’s jaw dropped; although it explained a lot, she was not expecting this.  
“Is- is Trevor okay?”  
“Oh, yeah he’s fine, Madam Pomfrey fixed him really quickly.”  
“I can’t believe James would hurt someone like that…”  
“If it helps, my brother thought Trevor went too far as well. But when my brother told me that Professor Snape’s Patronus was a doe and even more amazing that that doe is a symbol of his love for your grandmother, I really had to ask you.”  
“My dad told them that too? Professor Snape must have been really angry with him,” Lily said looking worried.  
“Why?”  
“I just don’t think he would have wanted his students knowing; it’s in the past, you know?”  
Maggie nodded.  
“I only had him for a teacher in first year and never really talked to him. Is he… is he nice?”  
Lily smiled. “Yeah he is. He’s quite different when he’s teaching or being Headmaster compared to when he is outside of Hogwarts.”  
“Okay, so you don’t think he would be mad that we are talking about him?” Maggie asked turning pale and staring past Lily’s face.  
“No, I don’t think so. Why Maggie?” Lily asked looking concerned and then following Maggie’s gaze; she turned around and saw Professor Snape standing behind her.  
Lily jumped a little in shock, but recovered quickly and said:  
“Hi Professor Snape.”  
“Good evening, Miss Potter, Miss Matthews,” Severus said pleasantly, staring between the two of them. He knew what they had been talking about and was interested to know how they would react to him being there.  
But Severus’ presence only stirred Lily for a second, before asking:  
“Did James really beat up someone in his class?”  
Severus nodded. “I regret to say he did.”  
“Did you punish him?” Lily asked, looking a little worried, she knew that fighting was against school rules.  
Severus paused, knowing that his answer, though it made sense in his mind, would probably be considered extremely lenient, as it had to Harry.  
“No, Miss Potter, he was not punished, but your father reprimanded him.”  
“Oh okay, good… I guess. Oh and also, Professor Snape, do you know why Rose and Al are acting strangely? None of them were talking much at dinner today.”  
Again Severus paused before answering. “Albus and Rose heard another student call his girlfriend or rather ex-girlfriend, a Mudblood. They brought the boy to me and- it- let us simply say it did not go as smoothly as one would have hoped,” Severus finished slightly awkwardly. Lily made a mental note to question Al and Rose later, even if she had to pester them all night for answers.  
“Is that all you wanted to ask me, Miss Potter?” Severus asked, realising that it was getting late and he was required to write a statement for the School Governors outlining what had been happening at Hogwarts since he became Headmaster.  
“Yes, Professor Snape,” Lily said. “Good night!” she added, waving.  
“Good night, Miss Potter, Miss Matthews,” Severus replied nodding to each of the two girls and then turning to walk up the stairs.  
“Professor Snape!” Maggie called after him so suddenly it made both Severus and Lily jump.  
Severus walked back down the stairs to face the two girls again, looking at Maggie with intent curiosity.  
“Yes, Miss Matthews?”  
“Um, I was um, wondering if… um…” Lily had sympathy for the girl as she faltered under Severus’ gaze. Snape looked towards Lily for some kind of explanation, but Lily turned to Maggie, placed an encouraging hand on her shoulder and said: “It’s okay, don’t be shy.”  
“Can you really produce a doe Patronus?” she blurted out so fast, Severus only just caught what she said.  
Lily looked quickly to Severus to see how he would react, and gratefully he didn’t look altogether shocked; to the contrary, he seemed to be expecting it.  
“I can, Miss Matthews,” Severus replied quietly, nodding his head slightly.  
“Oh!” Maggie was shocked that Professor Snape was being open with her; she didn’t quite know what to say next. “Well, um Lily tells me it’s really- really pretty. Could- could you show me?” Maggie asked and then averted her eyes towards the ground and whispered extremely quickly and nervously: “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked- it’s none of my business- please don’t put me on detention.”  
Severus smiled; was this how all of the students perceived him? As some scary wizard with whom they could never feel comfortable talking to?  
Lily was smiling too and was silently giving Maggie huge credit for being so brave as to ask the Headmaster to produce his Patronus for her.  
“I am not going to put you on detention, Miss Matthews,” Severus assured her. “But I will show you my Patronus if you wish.”  
“Really?” Maggie beamed, lifting up her head. “That would be amazing!”  
Even as he said it, Severus immediately had second thoughts. Although they were the only people in the Entrance Hall, if students were to walk out after dinner, they would all see his Patronus. But seeing as every single person in the school already knew about it, Severus figured he may as well prove it to at least one student in the hope that the rumours and mutterings would stop.  
Severus pulled out his wand and stared at it for a moment. He wasn’t really sure why he was doing this- it was hard enough showing the Potters his Patronus and telling them what it meant to him, but to conjure it for a student he didn’t know was- he had to admit- a nerve racking, scary experience.  
Lily was watching Severus with great admiration; she couldn’t believe he was about to do this; she was both excited and a little anxious for him.  
“Expecto Patronum,” Severus said, though quietly so those in the Great Hall wouldn’t be able to hear him.  
“Oh wow!” Maggie cried as the beautiful, silver doe flew out of Severus’ wand and landed beside her so that she could pat it. “I didn’t know you could touch them!”  
“I know, it’s pretty cool,” Lily said laughing at the pure excitement on her friend’s face.  
“She’s really beautiful, Professor Snape,” Maggie said under her breath as if she hoped Severus would hear, but not answer her.  
“Thank you, Miss Matthews,” Severus replied serenely; he enjoyed watching Lily and Maggie pat his Patronus and realised the personal and emotional exposure wasn’t so bad. After a couple of minutes, Maggie asked:  
“Can you make her run around like Professor Potter’s Patronus?”  
“Did my dad show the sixth years his Patronus?” Lily asked, turning away from the doe to look at Maggie.  
“Yes,” Maggie replied. “My brother said it was really cool too. He also said that your brother was the first to produce a corporeal Patronus. That’s really-”  
“He what?” Lily asked. “Are you serious?”  
“Yes, his Patronus is a bear, my brother thinks it’s a Grizzly,” Maggie said, laughing a little nervously.  
“Wow, he never told me that!” Lily said a little hurt.  
“Your dad was really impressed,” Maggie reinforced.  
“I guess, until James beat up that boy…” Lily muttered.  
“Probably,” Maggie said, looking sympathetic. She then looked at Severus, a hopeful look in her eye.  
Severus nodded and without any words being said, he imagined his Patronus running around the Entrance Hall and so she did. After one lap, Severus brought her back to the two girls, who resumed patting her.  
But before any of them knew what was happening, a swarm of students filtered out into the Entrance Hall looking both excited and nervous; apparently someone had seen Severus’ Patronus from the Great Hall and called everyone to the Entrance Hall. Severus turned around; his doe still standing next to him, Lily and Maggie’s hands paused in mid action on her silvery coat, and turned pale.  
He froze.  
The faces he could see, some were smiling, others looked worried while still others were sneering.   
Lily was not watching the students however, she was looking carefully at the doe who was slowly fading.  
“Professor Snape!” Lily whispered urgently, hoping to attract Severus’ attention. “Your Patronus is fading,” she whispered still more quietly so that only Snape and Maggie would hear. Severus dragged his gaze from the many students and focused his energy on his Patronus once more.  
If it was not such a serious situation, Lily may have been laughing, but she was nervous. It seemed that she, Maggie and Severus were on one side of the room whilst the rest of the school was on the other side, not daring to move or say anything.  
After what felt like hours, a boy who was standing in the front of the crowd, stepped forward really slowly and asked Severus, who was a good ten metres away:  
“Could we see her, Professor Snape?”  
It seemed that Severus had unknowingly stood in front of his Patronus which prevented the other students from seeing the doe.  
“Please?” A girl begged, stepping forward to stand next to the boy, looking hopeful.  
Severus looked at all of the faces staring at him. His heart was racing; could he really do it? Was now the time?  
“You can do it, Severus,” Lily whispered, looking up at her Headmaster and smiling encouragingly.  
Severus looked down at Lily, at her hope and her excitement and without really thinking about what he was doing, he stood aside from his Patronus and allowed her to gallop around the Entrance Hall.  
“Wow, look how bright she is!”  
“She’s gorgeous!”  
“Oh I can’t wait until I can produce a Patronus. I hope mine’s as nice as this one!”  
“Look, you can touch her!”  
“So this was Professor Potter’s Mum’s Patronus, right?”  
“Yeah, isn’t she pretty?”  
“Look at her eyes!”  
“They’re shaped like almonds and so big and bright.”  
“I can’t believe how beautiful she is.”  
“Professor Snape must have really loved her…”  
Severus couldn’t help but smile as he heard several whispers, cries of delight, ohs, ahs and sighs as every student followed Severus’ doe around the Entrance Hall with their eyes.

It seemed that the students would never get tired of watching Severus’ doe canter around the room, so that even after ten minutes, more and more students were joining the group from the Great Hall to the extent where Severus was sure almost every student was present.  
Lily was looking around too; she had not yet seen her brothers, father, or Rose and wondered if they were simply hidden by the mass of students or if they were still in the Great Hall.  
After what felt like ages, Lily finally saw her family walk out of the Great Hall and laughed out loud when their jaws dropped; obviously no one had informed them of what was happening.  
Lily hoped that her family had had the chance to talk to one another and that perhaps now they would be friendlier towards her. It seemed that Al, James and Rose were back to normal as they joined the crowd as they too admired Severus’ Patronus for what was probably the tenth time.  
But Lily was no longer watching her fellow students, but was staring at her father who caught her eye for a moment, waved and then made eye contact with Severus who also seemed to be looking at him. Lily was not sure what happened between her father and the Headmaster earlier that day, but she had the feeling they had not been on friendly terms until this moment. Having seen Harry standing on the opposite side of the Entrance Hall, the smile on Severus’ face faded momentarily; he was concerned that Harry was still angry with him with regard to James’ lack of punishment.

Harry had heard a lot of commotion whilst in the Great Hall, but like Lily had predicted, he was speaking to Albus, James and Rose. When Harry ventured out into the Entrance Hall however, he was not expecting to see Severus’ silver doe galloping around the room and students laughing and talking and patting the beautiful creature. As Harry stood there watching the scene, any anger he felt towards Severus from earlier that day disappeared. After the mistake he made earlier that day regarding Severus’ Patronus and having heard the many rumors that had spread around the castle since, Harry was glad that Severus was willing to show them the truth- to reveal a part of himself…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Seven years later  
“Do you have any idea what we’re doing here?” Harry asked Ron as the two of them sat down in the Weasley’s living room.  
“No idea, mate, Rose just told us that she wanted to speak to our families- not even George, Charlie, Bill, Dad or even Mum were invited… it’s a little strange to be honest.”  
“Hermione, do you know?” Harry asked, turning to his left to face Hermione who seemed to have just finished a conversation with Ginny- all four of them were sitting on the same couch.  
“No, Harry, I don’t, she’s being very secretive about it.”  
“And now that she is twenty two, there is very little we can do about it,” Ron pointed out sounding a little disappointed.  
“Oh well, I guess we will just have to wait and see,” Harry said, lying back on his chair and was just about to relax when the doorbell rang.  
“I’ll get it,” Hermione said as she stood up and went to answer the door. A couple of minutes later, Hermione returned with Severus following behind her.  
“Good morning, Severus,” Harry said, yawning. “I don’t suppose you know why we’re all here?”  
“If you do not know, what makes you think I would?” Severus asked, smiling.   
“I was just asking,” Harry said, putting his hands up in surrender, though laughing all the same.  
“Are you glad to be on holidays from Hogwarts, Severus?” Hermione asked.  
“Yes, not that it was bothering me at all, but a break is always welcome,” Severus said nodding.  
“Are you going to Harry’s and Ginny’s for Christmas this year?”  
“He does so every year,” Ginny laughed, smiling at her sister in law. “I thought you would have noticed the pattern, Hermione. I’m surprised.”  
“As am I,” Ron added. “Even I knew the answer to that question.”  
“Well excuse me for trying to make conversation!” Hermione said in what was supposed to be a serious tone, but she couldn’t hide the smile on her face.  
“Yes Hermione, I am going to the Potter’s for Christmas this year, but I do wonder why I bother, seeing as James, Albus and Lily are adults now, they have much better things to do.”  
“You know they love seeing you, Severus,” Harry chimed in, leaning over Ron so as to see Severus clearly. “Even if James spends most of his time chasing girls, Lily is training to be a Healer for most of the holidays, and Albus is undergoing his Auror training every day, they still have time for you,” Harry joked and the adults laughed.  
“What are you saying about us Dad?” Albus asked, walking into the living room followed by James, Lily and Hugo.  
“We were just discussing Christmas, Al,” Ginny answered for her husband.  
“Is Dad complaining that we won’t be home again?” James asked, sitting opposite his father.  
“The topic of conversation was more revolved around whether or not I should bother coming for Christmas this year, seeing as you-”  
“You’ve got to come, Severus,” Lily implored.  
“Definitely, Severus; it would not be Christmas without you; you’ve come over for Christmas for at least the last ten years- you can’t stop now!” Albus exclaimed.  
“You’ve just got to face it Severus, you’re stuck with them,” Ron joked, causing Harry to punch him playfully on the shoulder.  
“Okay, so do any of you,” Hermione asked, looking at the four children, or rather adults that entered the room. “Know what we are doing here?”  
There was silence in the room for a moment, as Hugo, Lily, James and Al considered this question.  
“No,” James replied hesitantly. “But I know it’s something really important.”  
“Well that’s pretty obvious seeing as we’re all here and Rose hasn’t said a thing to us; she must be worried we wouldn’t turn up if she told us the truth,” Lily suggested.  
“I’m not sure, but I wish she would hurry up. Are we waiting on anyone else?” Ron asked, looking around the room to be greeted with several shrugs.  
“Oh great, everyone’s here!” Rose chimed as she entered the living room dressed in semi-formal clothing.  
“Are we going out somewhere, Rose? Did you want us to change?” Hermione asked, it was clear she was becoming anxious.  
“No Mum, it’s okay, I just felt like wearing something nice,” Rose replied, wringing her hands.  
“Are you okay, Rosie?” Ron asked, looking concerned.  
“I’m okay Dad, just a little nervous.”  
“Why? It’s just us, Rose,” Harry reassured his niece.  
“Yes I know, but it is still a little scary,” she whispered, wringing her hands still more tightly.  
“Well, what is it that you wanted to tell us?” Hermione asked as if she would explode if her daughter didn’t give her the information soon.  
“You need to promise me you won’t be mad,” Rose whispered so quietly that the adults had to lean in to hear her properly.  
“We promise, Rosie,” Ron replied, smiling a little. “What did you want to tell us?” He added.  
“Especially you, Dad,” Rose muttered under her breath.  
“Me? What’s there to be angry about? Whatever you want to tell us, I will be okay with it.”  
Rose paused for a minute and then walked up to her father and said: “Come with me, Dad.”  
“Um, okay sure,” Ron replied uncertainly, stood up and looking at Hermione with an expression of deepest confusion, he followed his daughter.  
Hermione was forcing herself not to stand up too.  
“Can’t I come too, Rose?” Hermione asked.  
“We won’t be long, Mum,” Rose reassured her.  
“Okay,” Hermione said, falling back onto the chair she was already half out of. ”Just… don’t be long.”

“Where are you taking me, Rose?” Ron asked, still following his daughter in the direction of the kitchen.  
“I just wanted to bring you in here for a second,” she replied, pulling her father into the kitchen.  
Ron froze upon seeing who was standing there before him: Scorpius and Draco.  
“Rose, what is this about?” Ron asked, not taking his eyes off the two men.  
“Oh please Dad, don’t be angry!” Rose pleaded.  
“But I don’t even know what I am supposed to be mad at,” Ron said, thoroughly confused. “I have no idea what the Malfoys are doing in our kitchen. Please tell me what is wrong, you seem extremely nervous and your mother is really worried.”  
There was an awkward pause in the kitchen, Rose and Scorpius were frequently making eye contact and Ron couldn’t understand why.  
“Mr Weasley,” Scorpius said, walking towards Ron. “I wish to ask for your permission and blessing to marry your daughter.”  
It took a moment for those words to sink in. After a few seconds, comprehension had finally dawned on Ron.  
Pulling out a chair, he sat down in it, staring at his daughter.  
“You never told me- I had no idea you were interested in- in-”  
“Scorpius, Dad.”  
“Yes, Scorpius,” Ron was clearly in shock.  
“We became good friends at Hogwarts ever since the time when we were in the library and I saw Greyback from the window. Since leaving school we’ve kept in contact and seen each other at work-”  
“You work together?” Ron interrupted, his eyes wide staring at his daughter. And then as if distracted momentarily, he looked at a very pale Scorpius and asked: “Are you a healer too?”  
Scorpius nodded; it looked as though he were about to be sick, whether from fear or a lack of a direct response from Ron, it could not be determined.  
Ron then dragged his attention back to his daughter.  
“Okay, so- so- you have become good friends,” Ron said, almost as if he were speaking to himself, rather than to his daughter. “And now you- you want to get married?” Ron asked in disbelief.  
“Yes,” Rose said, sounding a little relieved that her father had eventually got the point.  
But Ron was silent and evidently thinking about the situation. Rose hated the silence and wanted to keep her father talking or at least make an attempt to present her ‘case’.  
“You didn’t mean what you said the first day I went to Hogwarts did you? That Grandpa would be disappointed if I married a pureblood?” Rose asked, tears in her eyes.  
Ron looked at his daughter and shook his head. “No Rosie, of course he wouldn’t be. I was just joking, though admittedly, I never thought you would be marrying a Malfoy.”  
Draco looked as though he were about to say something, but kept his mouth shut as Rose continued.  
“Do- do you have a problem with me marrying a pureblood?” Rose asked hesitantly.  
“No, not really,” Ron replied quietly, still thinking.  
“Do you have a problem with me marrying Scorpius?”  
Ron looked into his daughter’s eyes and tried to sound as sincere as possible.  
“I don’t know him that well, Rose-”  
“But I do!” Rose protested. “Isn’t that what matters?”  
“Of course, but how can I give consent if I have hardly spent any time with him?” Ron pressed on.  
“You could trust me,” Rose whispered.  
“But this is such an important decision, are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with Scorpius Malfoy?”  
“Yes!” Rose insisted, tears forming in her eyes again. It seemed that her outburst even took Scorpius by surprise.  
“How could you not have told me or your mother about your relationship? Why have you kept it a secret this whole time?”  
“I haven’t,” Rose mumbled so quietly, that Ron asked her to repeat it again.  
“Who else knows?” Ron asked, looking offended.  
“Everyone,” Rose replied, tears pouring down her face.  
“Except me!?”   
“I’m sorry Dad!”  
“Did you think I wouldn’t be happy for you?” Ron yelled standing up and walking towards his daughter. “That I would be mad at you? Disown you?”  
“I knew you would be disappointed in me, after what you said the first time we saw Scorpius and I didn’t want to tell you until I knew I really cared about him-”  
“So you’re only telling me now that you have decided you want to get married?” Ron yelled, turning red.  
“I just wanted your approval!”  
“By LYING?” Ron screamed, causing Rose to take a few steps back. Scorpius broke away from his father and went to comfort his girlfriend and Ron watched them with fury boiling up inside of him.  
“It wasn’t enough that you wanted to marry a pureblood, but to marry a Malfoy? After everything he did to us during school,” Ron shouted, pointing at Draco. “You want to now make us related by marrying his son?!”  
“I’m sorry Dad!” Rose cried hysterically. “I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell you, but even Mum agreed to keep it quiet until I knew for sure.”  
“Your- your mother agreed to this?”  
“Not to marriage, just to us dating-”  
“And she thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it?”  
“Well- well you aren’t really coping at the moment- D- Dad,” Rose sobbed.  
“Because you lied to me, Rose! Your mother and I didn’t raise you to lie and your MOTHER,” Ron paused in disbelief. “She should have know better- I cannot   
believe her-”  
“Please Dad, don’t be mad at Mum- please!”  
“So she had no problem with you dating Draco Malfoy’s son?”  
“No, she didn’t!” Rose cried, holding onto Scorpius as she sobbed onto his shoulder.  
“Well regardless of what she says, you do not have my blessing!”  
“Ron!” Draco said, stepping forward with his arm out. “Think about what you are saying.”  
“I am not listening to you, Malfoy!” Ron screamed over his daughter’s crying.  
“You are being ridiculous-”  
“Are you telling me that you do not have a problem with your son marrying my daughter?” Ron cut across Malfoy with a cutting edge in his voice.  
“No, I don’t,” Draco replied quietly. “And neither should you.”  
“You do not have the right to tell me how I should feel, Malfoy! Harry and I saved your life many years ago, the least you could do is keep your family away from mine-”  
“You are being unbelievable!” Draco yelled, now equaling Ron’s volume. “This is not about us or about the things I did to you, Harry and Hermione all those years ago. We have all grown up, though evidently you haven’t-”  
“Get out of my house!” Ron screamed, pointing at the door.  
“No! Not until you look at this reasonably! Your daughter is in hysterics because you refuse to give your blessing. She could get married without your best wishes, but she’s here asking you for your permission. She may have lied, but she still loves you and I think you could at least do her the courtesy to look at this marriage for what it is instead of living in the past!”  
“You are not a part of this decision-”  
“Perhaps not, but my son’s happiness may very well rest in your behaviour and I am not leaving until you have at least calmed down.”  
“Calm down? Calm down! How can I be calm? Do you realise that if this happens, my daughter will be known as Rose Malfoy?”  
“Your daughter has been waiting for so long to do this: to tell you how she is feeling and the only thing you can focus on is what her surname is going to be? Be a good father-”  
“And what would you know about that?” Ron snapped back.  
“I AM a father Weasley, though your ability to acknowledge that may very well prevent you from realising this fact,” Draco spat.  
“Well I can’t believe that you could have ever been a father, let alone a good one, the way you behaved at Hogwarts-”  
“At least I grew up which is more than I can say for you-”  
“GET OUT MALFOY!” Screamed Ron.

“Did someone just say Malfoy?” Hermione asked the adults in the living room, wondering if she was just imagining things.  
“Yeah I think I heard it too, it sounded like Ron,” Ginny confirmed, making to get out of her chair.  
“Don’t worry Ginny, I’ll see what’s happening,” Hermione said as she leapt out of her chair and almost ran to the kitchen where the noise was coming from.

“Part of being a father is to support our children, whatever decisions they may make-”  
“Fathers are also meant to guide their children, stop them from making mistakes-”  
“But she isn’t a child anymore! She’s twenty two and more than capable of making her own choices!”  
“And yet she clearly doesn’t know what she would be getting into if she married into your family- at least I could shed some light on that-”  
“And yet you admit to not knowing my son? What possible judgments can you make about anyone in my family except me?”  
“Knowing who you are is good enough-”  
“It is not fair to judge Scorpius on my behaviour as a child! We are not talking about your daughter marrying me, we’re talking about her marrying my son which is-”  
“Almost the same thing!”  
“THAT IS NOT FAIR!” Draco screamed.  
“I love him, Dad!” Rose cried, who was still being comforted by Scorpius and had tears falling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry! But I can’t change how I feel!”  
Ron collapsed into a chair, breathing deeply as if trying to control his anger; if Rose really did love him, who was he as a father, as a human being, to tell her otherwise? But the idea that he could one day be related, via marriage, to the Malfoys was something Ron never thought he would need to consider.  
By this time, Hermione had reached the kitchen door and in the silence, she pushed it opened to find her daughter in tears whilst being comforted by Scorpius, her husband sitting down at the table, with his back to her and Draco looking pale and furious.  
“Is everything okay in here? We heard shouting…” Hermione trailed off; she could feel the anger, the sadness and she didn’t like it.  
No one answered her.  
“Can someone please tell me what is going on?” Hermione pleaded.   
When the silence continued, Hermione moved to stand in front of her husband who was red in the face and had his head resting in his arms.  
“Are you okay, Ron?” she asked, placing a gentle hand on his arm.  
Ron lifted his head, looking both hurt and defeated.  
“What happened, Ron?” Hermione asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down on it, never taking her eyes off her husband.  
“What have you all been talking about?” She asked, looking between Draco, Scorpius and her sobbing daughter.  
“You never told me they were dating,” Ron said in what sounded like a dangerous tone, but Hermione kept her cool and replied:  
“I’m sorry, Ron; I’m sure Rose would have told you once she determined how she really felt about him-”  
“Well it’s pretty clear now, seeing as they want to get married!” Ron fired back, angry tears dwelling in his eyes. Hermione stared at her husband for a moment, knowing that as much as he loved Rose, this would not be an easy marriage for him to accept. Standing up, Hermione walked over to her daughter, and pulled her into a hug.  
“Congratulations, Rose! I’m so happy for you! But- are you sure you are ready for this? It’s a huge commitment,” Hermione asked, beaming at her daughter.  
Rose gave a tearful nod.  
Once Hermione had finished hugging her daughter, she turned to Scorpius and paused; she wasn’t quite sure what to do.  
“Congratulations, Scorpius and welcome to the family,” Hermione said a little nervously and then gave him a quick hug. “So when are you planning on having the wedding?”  
“Dad hasn’t consented yet,” Rose whispered, tears still cascading down her cheeks.  
Hermione stared at her and then turned to face her husband.  
“Oh Ron,” she said rather delicately, sitting back down in front of her husband. “Do you remember before we had Rose and Hugo when we said we would do everything in our power to support them even if we thought that they are making a mistake?”  
“So you think she is making a mistake then?” Ron asked, looking hopeful.  
“No, I don’t Ron. If our daughter loves this man then we should let them get married because we want her to be happy.”  
“But then she will become Rose Malfoy, Hermione- it just doesn’t sound right.”  
“Really? I actually think it sounds quite nice,” Hermione admitted quietly.  
“I just yelled at her and at Draco for the last half hour. They are not going to take my blessing even if I offered it,” Ron whispered looking down-hearted and regretful.  
“Why were you so upset with them?”  
“Because I found out she had been lying to me for years; that you had been keeping her relationship a secret and for the fact that she is marrying a Malfoy and in case you forgot, Draco once called you a Mudblood! How can I forgive him for that?” Ron whispered ferociously at her.  
“You don’t have to forgive, Draco, but you cannot judge Scorpius based on his father-”  
“It’s a little hard. Look at the two of them; they are an exact split image-”  
“I know, but we have to be fair to both of them, Scorpius and Rosie. Let them have this chance, let them be happy. Our daughter is getting married, Ron! We should be celebrating!” Hermione whispered excitedly. “And Rosie would want your blessing. She loves you and only wanted you to support her. I am sorry I lied to you though- I had thought about telling you several times, but I didn’t because I knew you would try to stop her from having a relationship with him and I didn’t want that.”  
“Why didn’t you believe in me? Why didn’t you tell the truth and hope that I would get over it? Why did you believe the worst in me?”  
“Oh, Ron, I’m so sorry. You are a wonderful father, but I knew you still hadn’t forgiven Draco for the past and I assumed that that prejudice would affect your emotions and your judgments… I’m so sorry I didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt! I did think that perhaps I could convince you otherwise, but it was both my idea and Rose’s that we keep it secret for the time being. But she is being open with you now, because she loves you. It may take a while, but if she’s happy, I doubt it will take long for us accept Scorpius into our family.”  
Ron stared at Hermione, who smiled back and kissed his forehead.  
“I love you, Ron and I am truly sorry that we didn’t believe in you.”  
“I love you too, but promise me the next time our children are thinking of doing something insane, tell me so I don’t lose my head, okay?”  
Hermione nodded, smiling a little- delighted that her husband still had his sense of humour. “I promise.”  
Hermione stood up and then giving her daughter a final hug and smiling at Scorpius and Draco, she left the kitchen.  
Ron wiped his eyes on his sleeve, sighed deeply and then walked over to his daughter who looked both anxious and a little scared.  
Placing both of his hands on his daughter’s arms, Ron looked Rose in the eye and said:  
“When you were born, I told myself that I would do anything I could to make you happy. I am sorry for the way I acted earlier; I was angry and shocked- I wasn’t expecting this. So, it may take me a while to get used to you being a part of the Malfoy family as well as a part of ours, but I am willing to give Scorpius a chance. You are my daughter, I love you and I wish you all the happiness in the world. You have my blessing Rosie.”  
Rose paused for a moment, as if trying to process everything she had heard. Then a couple of seconds later she screamed with happiness and hugged her father, who held on to his daughter and swung her around. Ron couldn’t help but smile at how happy his she was.  
Once they let go, Ron dared to look at Scorpius and Draco, both of whom seemed shocked that Ron had changed his mind in a matter of minutes. Whilst shaking hands with Scorpius, Ron said:  
“I do not know you very well, but I want you to give me your word that you will look after Rose.”  
“I promise,” Scorpius replied.   
Finally, Ron stood before Draco and couldn’t help but avert his eyes; he couldn’t stand the fact that in this situation, Draco was the most mature; he truly had changed since their days at Hogwarts, but it may take a while for Ron to accept that fact.  
“I’m sorry for yelling earlier,” Ron muttered, his ears turning red.  
“I’m glad you came through, Weasley,” Draco replied, shaking hands with the man.   
“Well I suppose we better tell everyone what has happened, though knowing Hermione, she has probably told them already,” Ron said, smiling a little.  
Putting his arm around Rose, the two of them walked back into the living room. Ron let her go so that she could stand next to Scorpius where, holding hands, they announced their engagement.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

6 years later  
“She just won’t stop kicking!” Lily cried, holding her stomach.  
Everyone was sitting around Lily and her husband Michael, surrounded by many pink objects- the baby shower had come to a close and now only the family and Severus remained.  
“Do you know what you are going to name her yet?” Scorpius asked, one eye on Lily, the other on his and Rose’s two children: Jason and Issabelle who were running around nearby.  
“Not yet,” Lily replied. “There are just so many names to choose from and we can’t decide!”  
“Perhaps you won’t make up your mind until she is born?” Albus suggested, his arms around his wife Jessica, who was holding their baby boy, Ryan.  
“Maybe,” Michael asserted. “I really like the name Heidi, but your sister can’t decide if she likes it or not,” Michael teased, kissing Lily on the cheek.  
“Well Heidi Harrison does sound a little strange,” James pointed out, to then be nudged by Sarah, his wife of three years who were also expecting their first child.  
“I like it,” Ginny asserted kindly. “There is no need to rush naming her though, take your time; it’ll come to you,” Ginny reassured them.  
“Wow, look at the time, it’s getting late Lily, we had better go,” Harry said looking at his watch. “I’m sorry sweetie, but I’ve got to go back to work tomorrow as does Severus, for yet another year at Hogwarts,” he smiled.  
“Of course, Dad I understand. Thank you so much for coming!” Lily said as everyone gave her a hug as they made their way to the door. When Severus finally reached her, Lily whispered:   
“Can I speak with you for a moment, Severus?”  
“Of course,” Severus replied, looking a little confused, though clearly intrigued.   
Harry and Ginny, who were the last to leave told Lily they would wait until she had finished speaking to Severus. Leaving Michael with her parents, Lily led Severus to the kitchen.  
“I wanted to ask you something, Severus,” Lily said, looking a little nervous. “Michael and I were thinking about who the Godparents of our daughter ought to be and I immediately thought of you- Michael has told me that he thinks it is a good idea- but I just wanted to ask- you can say no if you want- but it would be great if you were her Godfather because you mean-”  
Severus was greatly amused by Lily’s persistent rambling, but thought he had better end it by answering her.  
“You do know how old I am, don’t you?” Severus asked, smiling.  
“Yes, I believe you are… hmmm, almost 80?” She replied laughing.  
“Ha ha, very funny, Lily. I’m 73 and I think, a bit too old to be the Godfather of a newborn.”  
“You’re not old, Severus! And it doesn’t matter how old you are and it certainly won’t matter to our daughter. Please, please be her Godfather; it would mean so much to Michael and I… especially me,” Lily said blushing a little, though she tried to cover it up.  
“If it means that much to you, I will. But if your daughter continually asks me to show her my Patronus or insists that I talk about my days at Hogwarts like you did, I am afraid I may lose my patience,” Severus joked. Lily smiled and gave Severus a hug, which he returned without thought.  
“You will be a wonderful mother, Lily,” Severus said.   
“Thanks, Sev,” Lily said, reaching up and kissing him on the cheek, and together they went back into the living room to make their farewells.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

6 years later  
“Mum? Dad?” Issabelle said just before she boarded the Hogwarts Express for her first year at Hogwarts.  
“What is it, sweetie?” Rose asked, bending down a little so as to see her daughter eye to eye.  
“I’m going to miss you,” she whispered and then ran to hug her two parents, who hugged her back.  
“We’re going to miss you too, Issie, but Hogwarts is a great place, you’ll have a lot of fun and make new friends,” Scorpius pointed out.  
“But Jason isn’t coming with me; I’ll be all by myself,” Issabelle whimpered.  
“Jason will be starting next year but in the mean time, you can tell him all about it,” Rose said kindly.  
“But that’s a whole year away, Mummy. I don’t want to go yet.”  
Scorpius and Rose looked at each other a little confused and very worried. Of course, they didn’t want to make their daughter go to Hogwarts if she didn’t want to, but then again, they had never known of someone who didn’t want to go to Hogwarts.  
Both parents knelt down on the ground, and Scorpius held Issabelle out in front of him.  
“Why don’t you want to go? Is it because you’ll miss us? Are you scared?” Scorpius asked, looking eagerly into his daughter’s eyes to find the source of concern.  
“All of those things,” cried a tearful Issabelle.  
“Why are you scared?” Rose asked, now sounding a little suspicious. “We’ve never told you anything about Hogwarts that would cause you to fear it,” Rose continued, looking at Scorpius who asserted, silently, that he had no idea what she could possibly be scared of.  
“Did your grandfather say something to you?” Rose asked, as if she just realised the potential problem.  
Issabelle nodded.  
“My god, I’m going to kill him,” Rose muttered under her breath. “What did Grandpa Weasley tell you, Issie?”  
“Nothing,” the small girl replied, faltering under her mother’s gaze.  
Scorpius reached out to his daughter and lifted her head.  
“What did he say, Issie? Did he say something about Slytherins?”  
She nodded.  
“Oh, Scorpius I’m so sorry!” Rose cried, though not too loudly so that everyone else on the platform would hear. “Issabelle, what did you grandfather say to you?” Rose pressed on.  
“That Slytherins are not nice people- Dad is a rare exception to that and if I was put in Slytherin they would try and sway me towards the Dark Arts and I don’t want to be a bad person, Mummy!” Issabelle cried.  
“Oh, Sweetie, your grandfather is still living in the past. No, listen to me,” for Issabelle made to interrupt. “When my father was at school, Slytherin house was known for its unkind inhabitants. But when your father and I went to school, the stereotype was different; Slytherins were becoming more accepting of others and consequently the other houses befriended them. Your grandfather has never liked Slytherins, but that is his problem not yours, so please don’t develop an idea of Hogwarts based on what he said. If you are put into Slytherin we will be just as proud of you as if you were put into any other house. Your father and Severus were both in Slytherin and they turned out to be good people. You will not become a bad person unless you choose to be, and sometimes I think your grandfather forgets that,” Rose finished, sounding very bitter.  
“So- so you don’t mind which house I’m in?”  
“Not at all, Issie,” Scorpius reinforced. “Hogwarts is a time to have fun and not worry about what others may think or tell you about the people there. When I was a student, the friends I made were nice people, and never once did they try to coax me into the Dark Arts. And remember, Harry and Severus are at Hogwarts too and you can always talk to them if something concerns you. Hogwarts is a wonderful place, Issie; you are going to have a great time,” Scorpius reassured her, smiling a little; he was really going to miss his daughter.  
The final whistle for the Hogwarts express sounded. Issabelle pulled herself away from her parents after one final, tearful hug, and leapt on the train and waved goodbye from the window, looking much happier as she wound out of sight.  
“I’m so sorry, Scorpius,” Rose said again, once the train had left. “I honestly believed he had accepted you as a part of our family,” Rose continued sounding disappointed and angry.  
“I think he has, Rose. Issabelle said that your father asserted that I was one of the ‘exceptions’ remember?” he said, putting his arm around Rose. “I think he’s just worried about the few Slytherins that may give her a hard time.”  
“Oh, I hope she’ll be okay,” Rose said, turning around and looking at where the train stood only moments ago.  
“She’s going to be fine, Rosie; but perhaps you should talk to your father about what happened?”  
Rose looked at her husband, with fire blazing in her eyes. “He had no right to do that and yes, he will be getting a piece of my mind.”

“Malfoy, Issabelle,” Harry called, a little apprehensively; the first of the next generation from his family was about to be sorted and, holding his breath he placed the Sorting Hat on top of Issabelle’s head.  
Hmmm, this is interesting, whispered the Sorting Hat so that only Issabelle could hear. It seems I can feel very strongly, two houses residing in you; that of Gryffindor and that of Slytherin. Interesting mix, for there was a time when those two houses didn’t get along. But the question is… where should I put you? Hmmm, I think-   
“SLYTHERIN!” Cried the hat and Issabelle got off the stool a little shaken, but looked pretty happy when she sat down at the Slytherin table where a few students patted her on the back in welcome.  
Harry took a moment to look up at Severus who was sitting in the Headmaster’s chair in the middle of the staff table. He looked a little concerned too; they weren’t however concerned about Issabelle, but Ron. They knew that Ron would love his granddaughter regardless of her house, but they knew he would be disappointed and were grateful that they wouldn’t be home when he found out- they only hoped that he takes it a little better than when Rose and Scorpius told him they wished to get married. But Harry had to give credit where credit was due; Ron had befriended both Draco and Scorpius since they have now become a part of the family, but it seemed unfortunate that his prejudice towards Slytherins in general remained in tact. But Harry knew that if anyone was able to sway his opinions it would be Rose and Hermione. In the end, Ron wanted Issabelle to be happy and as Harry watched her sitting at the Slytherin table in between sortings, he knew she would be and that’s all anyone could hope for.

 

Dear Mum and Dad,  
You were right! Hogwarts is an amazing place, I already love it here. I just thought I would let you know that I was put into Slytherin. The Sorting Hat could tell that half of me should be in Gryffindor (because of you, Mum) and half of me in Slytherin (because of you, Dad), but in the end it decided to put me into Slytherin. I’m okay with it though; I was sitting next to 2 boys and 2 girls on the Hogwarts Express and it’s so weird because all of us were put into Slytherin, so I was happy when I was sorted there because I got to be with my friends! How cool is that?  
I know that Grandpa Weasley will be disappointed, but I didn’t really have a choice did I? I was placed where the Sorting Hat wanted me.  
Say hi to Jason for me.  
I miss you already.  
Love Issabelle   
xoxox

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

20 years later

“Professor Potter, where are all of the students?” Severus asked Harry as the pair of them walked down to the Great Hall for dinner.  
“Hmmm, I’m not sure… it’s a bit strange,” Harry replied. “We can only hope some other members of staff have it under control.”   
The pair of them were walking into the Entrance Hall when the most deafening roar of ‘Happy Birthday!’ could be heard all around them. Party poppers, mini fireworks and streamers that were made to fly around the room were released and scared the hell out of Severus.  
“Harry,” Severus said in a serious tone. “What have you done?”  
“Me? I haven’t done anything, Severus,” Harry asserted, trying to be serious, but couldn’t help but laugh.  
Severus had frozen on the staircase. Of course, it was indeed his birthday today, but he was not expecting this. The students had study to do and lessons had to be taught- his birthday was not going to be an excuse for students running around late at night.  
“Happy birthday,” Harry said, leaning forward to look Severus in the face. “I hope we didn’t scare you too much,” Harry added smiling.  
“Well seeing as I am one hundred years old, you could have scared me to death, literally.”  
“It’s great to see you still have your sense of humour even if you are so old,” Harry teased.   
“Well I do not know what you and the entire school has in mind for tonight,” Severus began as the pair of them continued walking down the rest of the stairs. “But I refuse to endure a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’-”  
“You’re joking? That’s the best part! There is no way you can get out of that on your one hundredth birthday!”  
Severus smiled. “Well I wish I could, but of course, me against the rest of school… I don’t have much hope do I?”  
Harry laughed.  
“So whose idea was this anyway?” Severus asked, stopping on their stairway again.  
“A combination of people, that is, myself, the other staff and of course the students were in full support of it, but it was Lily, Al and James who made the suggestion to me in the first place.”  
“It’s a shame they couldn’t be here,” Severus said, looking over the crowd as if double checking that they weren’t nearby.  
Harry laughed again. “This is your one hundredth birthday! Did you honestly think they would miss this, Severus? It was their idea, of course they are here, they are waiting for us in the Room of Requirement.”  
“So what’s all of this then?” Severus asked looking a little concerned as banners and streamers continued to fly around the room.  
“This is from the students and staff- the school in other words. Do you realise you have been Headmaster here for forty years?”  
“Has it really been that long?” Severus asked, bemused at how quickly time flies.  
“It has, the school just wanted to say thanks and congratulations,” Harry said, as they finally stepped into the Entrance Hall where a swarm of students came up to Severus to wish him a happy birthday.   
Harry didn’t know what was funnier: watching Severus’ half overwhelmed, half delighted expression as four hundred students shook his hand, or the other students who were simultaneously too afraid to approach their Headmaster, but were keen to wish him a happy birthday.  
Severus concluded that this was just an excuse for the students to stay up late and celebrate the delicious food made by the house elves of Hogwarts; the real celebration, he felt would be elsewhere with the people he cared most about. Nevertheless, Severus was overwhelmed by how many students came to speak to him, he felt very blessed.  
After Severus shook hands with more students than he could count and after having a few drinks with the staff, Harry and Severus excused themselves, to the disappointment of the students more so than the staff.  
“Have a good birthday Professor Snape!”  
“Have a great night!” The students shouted and Severus turned around and smiled, waving to them as he left. “Thank you everyone, but make sure you get to bed at a reasonable hour!”  
There were groans from the crowd and Severus laughed as he followed Harry up the stairs.  
“Oh, Professor Snape!” A boy yelled after Severus. “My mother wanted me to ask you if your Patronus is still a doe!”  
This question did not come as a surprise to anyone it seemed; the previous generation had informed their children of that unusual day when they watched the Headmaster’s doe canter around the very same entrance hall.  
Severus leaned over the staircase railings, pulled out his wand and yelled: “See for yourself! Expecto Patronum!”   
Sure enough, the beautiful doe flew out of his wand and down into the crowd below. Although most of the students knew the identity and the meaning behind Professor Snape’s Patronus, few had seen it and hence a chorus of ohs and ahs, escaped the children’s mouths as Severus continued to walk up the stairs.

“It’s insane down there,” Severus said as he walked into the Room of Requirement and closed the door behind him to find still more balloons, streamers, flashing lights and party food.   
“On the count of three everyone!” Harry cried.  
“Oh no, don’t-” Severus began, but there was no stopping it.  
“One, two, three!”  
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday day to you, happy birthday dear Severus, happy birthday to you!”  
“Hip hip!”  
“Hurray!”  
“Hip hip!”  
“Hurray!”  
“Hip hip!”  
“Hurray!”  
“Come on, Severus you must blow out the candles now!” Albus yelled over the sound of the large group that had gathered in the room.  
“I would, but I cannot even see the cake!” Severus yelled back. “This is ridiculous. There are so many people in here!” Severus laughed as he moved his way towards Al. Finally he saw the cake. He was not sure who made it, but thought that perhaps it was a combined effort from the house elves, Hermione and Ginny.  
The cake was huge, probably one by one metre squared. It was divided into four, each quarter containing the colours and logos of the four Hogwarts houses. Severus smiled at it; someone definitely made a huge effort- he didn’t want to destroy it.  
“Come on, Severus! Make a wish!” Lily cried from goodness knows where.  
“Who made this cake?” Severus asked the room at large.  
“I did!” Lily called back.  
“By yourself?” Severus asked in shock, looking through the family that was a combination of the Potters and the Weasleys.  
“Yes! It’s my present to you! Happy birthday, Sev!” She called.  
“Where are you, Lily?” Severus replied, beginning to wade through the many people. “This is crazy,” he murmured under his breath.  
“I reckon,” Ron said as he passed the man on the way to Lily.  
“After five minutes of searching, I finally find you,” Severus said, coming to a halt when he found Lily playing with her grandchildren.  
“Happy birthday, Sev,” she said smiling, standing up so they were almost eye to eye.  
“Do you like your cake?”  
“It’s beautiful, thank you,” Severus said and gave her a hug.  
“I can’t believe you’re one hundred years old,” Lily whispered in his ear.  
“Neither can I,” Severus whispered back. “Your father tells me that this was your idea as well as your brothers’.”  
“Yes, it was,” Lily said blushing a little and letting go of Severus. “We thought it would be a great time to get the whole family together to celebrate this day with you. The students were really excited about it- you continue to be a wonderful Headmaster Severus, it’s great to see; I wasn’t expecting them to be so cooperative and motivated to give you a surprise celebration.”  
Severus smiled. “Thank you for doing this; it means a lot to me.”  
“You deserve it, Sev; after everything you have done in your life; it’s something worth celebrating.”  
“Thank you Lily, and if I don’t see your brothers tonight, please give them my thanks,” Severus said, hugging Lily again.  
“Of course, have a good night, Severus.”

After a few minutes, Severus finally found his way back to the cake and taking the deepest breath he could, he blew out most of the candles, though not all- it was almost impossible; they were spread out over such a huge area that he didn’t have enough breath to extinguish them all. Consequently, it took him three attempts before all the flames were out. Once he had finished, Harry passed him a knife to make a wish and cut the cake.  
Severus had no idea what to wish for, but nevertheless, he closed his eyes, made a wish that came on the spur of the moment, and cut the cake.   
It took a while to distribute the pieces of cake, but once everyone had a piece, and people began to sit down on the chairs the room had conjured up for them, it was only then that Severus truly appreciated how many people were in the room. The many descendents of Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Harry were present, and that family which once only consisted of four people, was now huge. Standing alone for a few moments, Severus took the opportunity to work out how many generations there were present in the room. Including Harry’s generation, there were four and consequently there were in-laws, boyfriends, girlfriends, children and even babies present- everyone was there to celebrate this day with him, to celebrate his life and Severus could not be happier.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

60 Years later  
“Good evening, Severus,” Harry said as he walked into the Headmaster’s office after a long week of teaching.  
“Good evening, Harry,” Severus said, who also looked exhausted.  
“I received your message. What is it that you wanted to discuss?” Harry asked, sliding into the chair opposite Severus’ desk.  
Severus leaned forward and surveyed Harry as if determining how he was going to react to what he was about to say before he even said anything.  
“I wanted to ask you something,” Severus began. “And I beg that you consider it.”  
“Um, okay sure,” Harry replied hesitantly. “What is on your mind, Severus?”  
Severus sighed. “I wish to retire from the position of Headmaster at the conclusion of this year and as Deputy Headmaster, I am of course, offering the position to you.”  
Harry paused, staring at Severus as if he too, were trying to read his thoughts, though of course he had no hope of gaining access when the man sitting opposite him was a superb Occlumens.  
“So if you retire, will you continue teaching, or-”  
“No, I intend on retiring from work altogether,” Severus reinforced.  
“But you’re still healthy! You are not that old, Severus.”  
Severus smiled. “I am nearly one hundred and sixty one, Harry.”  
“But Dumbledore was about that age when he died and he was still a very powerful wizard and more than capable of running Hogwarts.”  
“I know, but I feel it’s time for me to hand the position to you if you are willing to take it,” Severus said reasonably. “I’ve been here a long time, Harry and I think it’s time to do something else with my life,” Severus reinforced.  
Harry paused to consider Severus for a moment.  
“Are you sure about this?” Harry asked finally. “Are you sure you want to retire?”  
“Yes, I am sure of my decision and I am also sure that you will do an excellent job in my place, Harry.”  
“Thank you, Severus, but I just- how can I- what am I going to do?” Harry questioned in segments as if the correct words weren’t coming to him.  
“You will organize the school, discipline the students, communicate with the School Governors, make announcements…” Severus joked, knowing that that is not what Harry meant.  
“Very funny, Severus,” Harry said, a little smile appearing on his face. “Do you realise that whenever I have been at Hogwarts, you have been here either as my teacher or my colleague? I just cannot imagine life at Hogwarts without you,” Harry admitted. “Are you sure you want to leave now? Couldn’t you stay a few more years?” Harry requested, begging a little.  
Severus laughed. “Surely at the age of one hundred and forty, you can make do without me?”  
“Yes, but-”  
“I will still see you during the holidays and go to your place for Christmas like I have for the past god only knows how many years- the number would be something ridiculous by now, I am sure.”  
Harry laughed. “Very true, Severus, I guess I am being a little unreasonable.”  
“So you will take the job then? Can I inform the Ministry?”  
“I suppose so,” Harry replied hesitantly.   
“Thank you, Harry,” Severus replied, giving a small nod. “If it is of no concern to you, I think I will-”  
“Hogwarts won’t be the same without you,” Harry blurted out. The two men paused, looking at each other.  
“I know,” Severus admitted. “But if anyone could make Hogwarts better than it already is, I know that person would be you-”  
“But Hogwarts is perfect the way it is, with you in charge. Do you really feel you need to leave?” Harry pressed.  
“Are you sure you do not have a problem with this Harry?”  
“I just- I just want to make sure you’re making the right decision-”  
“And who better to know than myself?” Severus questioned, looking into Harry’s eyes.  
“I suppose you are right,” Harry sighed, resigning from making his case. “If you are sure, Severus, then you know I’ll support you in whatever you decide.”  
“I appreciate that, Harry and thank you, I know you will do myself, Albus,” Severus indicated Dumbledore’s portrait behind him, “and Hogwarts proud.”  
“I hope so,” Harry replied, standing up and shaking hands with Severus.  
“I had best inform the ministry of both of our decisions, so if you would excuse me-”  
“No problem at all, Severus, I’ll get out of your way, I need an early night anyway, this week has been a nightmare,” Harry asserted, yawning widely.  
Walking towards the door, Harry paused at the door knob; a sudden thought had come to him.  
“Even though I will see you during the holidays, Severus, I will still miss your company and I am sure the students will be disappointed too.”  
“But you’re Harry Potter, I am certain they will brag to anyone they know that their Headmaster is the famous Harry Potter.”  
“But you are as famous as me these days, Severus-”  
“Don’t be ridiculous-”  
“At Hogwarts you are, you’ll always be remembered here,” Harry said, smiling sadly.  
As Severus was thanking Harry, he winced and although he did a reasonable job at covering it up, Harry couldn’t help but notice.  
“Are you okay, Severus?” Harry asked, concerned.  
“Yes, I just hit my hand on the corner of the desk, blasted thing,” Severus muttered, shaking his hand.  
Harry was still suspicious and having seen his expression, Severus continued: “I am fine, Harry; honestly, just because I wish to retire is not a signal for you to monitor my every move,” Severus said smiling a little. “Thank you for your concern, Harry, but a bruise will not kill me,” Severus teased and Harry couldn’t help but smile too.  
“Okay, Severus. Good night,” Harry said as he closed the door.

Walking back to his office, Harry’s mind was filled with many thoughts. Despite being a good ten meters away from Severus at the time, and despite the fact that his eye sight was even worse than it was when he was young, Harry knew one thing: Severus did not hit the desk with his hand…


	29. Stay close to me (Part 1)

2 years later

For the third time that week, Severus woke up at 3am with a splitting headache. Rubbing his head gently with the palms of his hands, he tried to relax and fall back to sleep, but he couldn’t. Slowly getting up, he walked over to one of his drawers and pulled out a vial of pain remedy, which he had made during the week for nights such as this.  
Taking a deep breath, he downed the bottle (it tasted disgusting) and walked slowly back to bed, and made yet another attempt to fall to sleep.  
Instead of improving however, the pain became worse- this surprised Severus seeing as every other night, the pain remedy seemed to soothe the pain relatively quickly, but tonight was very different.  
By 5am, Severus realised that something serious must be wrong- magical remedies have never failed him before and he was confident he concocted the remedy correctly. Lying in bed, trying to rub away the pain, he tried to think of what he should do.  
Thankfully, he was no longer Headmaster and was currently unemployed so no one would miss him if he lay in bed all day, but somehow he knew that no matter how much sleep he had, the pain would always return…  
Realising that he had to take action, Severus forced himself to get dressed into his robes and grabbing his wand, he walked outside into Spinner’s End. Once there, he tried to relax- to numb the pain for a second- while he focused all of his energy on the main street in London. Spinning on the spot, Severus felt himself being squeezed through an invisible tube and knew, too late, that this was not good for him. Once he landed, he almost fell over as his brain was unable to keep him balanced to gather its bearings. Thankfully there were not many people around, so no one noticed his apparent disorientation. Spotting the landmark he was looking for, Severus forced his mind to move his legs towards the shopping mall where the entrance to St. Mungo’s was located.  
Finally he reached the window with the dummies inside and, with his eyes half closed, for the sun was rising, increasing his pain ten-fold, Severus mumbled:  
“I need to see a Healer.”  
The dummy nodded as if she knew this just by looking at him and Severus slowly, but surely made his way through the glass.  
Severus had to admit to himself, he had done pretty well so far; not only did he have the most severe migraine yet, but he had never been to St. Mungo’s and the only reason he knew where it was is because Lily had explained it to him when she first started working there.  
“Are you okay, Sir?” the woman at the desk asked. Severus almost stumbled over to her but before he even reached her, he felt a wheelchair being pushed beneath him. “What is your name, Sir?” The woman asked, pushing Severus towards god only knew where.  
“Severus Snape,” Severus mumbled; it hurt to talk.  
“Oh, the recently retired Professor Snape of Hogwarts? Yes my grandson is very fond of you,” the woman said rather cheerfully.  
“That is good to hear,” Severus muttered through clenched teeth; he wished she would stop talking.  
Trying to open his eyes a little more so as to see where the woman was taking him, Severus saw room after room fly by and realising he was going to be sick if he continued to watch the colours go past, he closed his eyes once more.  
“Here we go, Professor Snape,” said the woman, who stopped pushing the wheelchair and positioned it next to a hospital bed with white sheets in what appeared to be his own private room. But Severus didn’t have the energy or time to ask why.  
“Do you feel you can get into bed?” she asked kindly.  
“No, I will stay here, thank you,” Severus requested, too tired to speak properly, let alone move.  
“Very well, I will get a Healer to attend to you- I’m sure they won’t be long.”  
The woman paused a moment as if waiting for a reply from Severus, but when none came, she left the room, closing the door behind her.  
Severus was surprised she hadn’t questioned him on what was bothering him. Perhaps she really just was the receptionist and hence, did not know much about healing, or perhaps she could already tell by the way he was acting?  
If it didn’t hurt to open his eyes, Severus would have looked around for some form of pain medication- not that he thought hospitals would leave such things lying around, but he lived in hope. About ten minutes passed before Severus, who’s eyes were still closed, heard the door open and shut.   
Whoever it was, presumably a Healer, turned on the light and Severus closed his eyes still tighter trying to block out the sudden brightness. Severus could hear the person walking towards him, slowly so he didn’t feel threatened, but Severus didn’t dare open his eyes even though the person in front of him was a complete stranger.  
“Severus?” a woman said sounding both concerned and surprised.  
Or not… Severus recognised that voice.  
“Rose,” he muttered, though he still didn’t open his eyes.  
“What’s wrong?” she asked, sounding panicked, having heard the tone in Severus’ voice. “Did the person who admit you make any record or?”  
Severus shook his head, but stopped quickly- it made the pain even worse.  
“Who admitted you?” Rose asked outraged. “Oh never mind,” she added, realising that Severus was in no condition to answer anyway.  
Getting closer, Rose crouched down in front of Severus so that they were eye to eye.  
“I need you to talk to me, Severus; where are you in pain?” Rose asked sincerely, but clearly.  
“My head,” Severus whispered, moving his hand towards his head to rub it again, but even moving his arm hurt him now.  
At these words, Rose whipped out her wand and started muttering words under her breath as she waved her wand over Severus. Then conjuring a clip board and pen out of nowhere, Rose made some hasty notes on the pad. Once she was finished, she placed the pad and pen at the end of Severus’ bed and walked back around to face Severus.  
“Can you stand?”  
Severus shook his head slightly.  
“Can’t you give me something for the pain? I wish to go home,” Severus mumbled, but Rose heard every word.  
“I’m sorry Severus, we can’t send you home until we find out what is wrong with you; it is St. Mungo’s policy-”  
“There is nothing the matter with me- it is a headache,” Severus muttered.  
“Did you give yourself some pain remedy whilst you were at home?” Rose questioned.  
“Yes-”  
“Then it should have worked on a normal migraine. We must discover why you are having this headache, but if you let me go, I will get you some pain remedy now, just try to relax.”  
“I can’t,” whispered Severus.   
Rose crouched down again and rubbed Severus’ back gently. “I know it’s hard, but please try. I will be back soon.” She whispered and then standing up she left the room in a brisk walk.

Walking as fast as she could, Rose made her way towards an office towards the end of a very long corridor. Once there, she knocked and when a man answered, she walked in.  
“Scorpius,” she said, panting slightly.  
“What’s the matter?” Scorpius said, standing up and looking deeply concerned.  
“I need you to come with me-”  
“What are we doing? Talk to me, Rose!” Scorpius demanded, sounding panicked.  
“Everything is okay, just please, come with me,” she said, pulling Scorpius by the hand. The two of them walked together to a screening room, Rose refusing to say anything to Scorpius whilst they were surrounded by other healers. Once in the screening room and with all the doors locked, Rose whipped out her wand again and started mumbling under her breath, Scorpius watching in silence.  
The one thing that fascinated Scorpius, Rose and Lily most about training to be a Healer is a technique they were taught called Screening. Basically, with enough practice (something that takes a year of constant study to achieve) they are able to store data about patients in their wand and project it onto a screen so as to see a scan, much like an X-ray of a certain part of a person’s body, in this case, Severus’ brain.  
Realising what Rose was doing, Scorpius looked eagerly on the screen, waiting for the picture to show itself. Once it did, Scorpius and Rose stared at it silently.  
“Is this person having severe migraines?” Scorpius asked, looking concerned as if wondering if this patient was someone they knew.  
Rose nodded, turning pale.  
“Who is this, Rose? Normally you tell me everything I have to know in order to analyse these scans. What are you hiding?” Scorpius questioned. Having specialized in this area, Scorpius wanted every detail he could get.  
“We do not have any more information yet, Scorpius, but I will get it as soon as possible,” Rose said hurriedly.  
“Who is it, Rose?” Scorpius demanded.  
“Severus,” Rose replied, staring at Scorpius, fear and concern in her eyes.  
“Shit,” Scorpius muttered. Then turning towards the scans again, he said:  
“Do you know exactly where in the brain he was experiencing the pain?”  
“No, he could hardly speak-”  
“I’m not surprised,” Scorpius replied, nodding in understanding. “We need to find out.”  
“Why?”  
“These scans are good to see an overall image of the brain; there is enough information here to know that there is something wrong, but there are many illnesses that may cause this, we have to gain a more specific and detailed scan of the precise area that is causing the most pain,” Scorpius explained.  
“So- so you think he has an illness? It’s not just a migraine?” Rose asked, all hope seeping out of her- she truly hoped, despite what she told Severus, that he really was just experiencing a severe migraine.  
“Oh Rose, I’m sorry. This is definitely more than a migraine, but it could be curable- we’ll just have to wait and see,” Scorpius replied sincerely.  
“I haven’t given him any pain medication; I thought you would want to-”  
“Yes, it is preferable that you do not give him any until we can identify the exact source of the pain. Have you told Lily?” Scorpius added.   
This had been running through Rose’s mind ever since she saw Severus. Lily was on duty but Rose knew that no matter what Lily was doing, having Severus in the hospital and not telling her would be a serious betrayal in her eyes.  
“I will notify her,” Rose whispered, worried by how Lily will react to this- none of her family or Lily’s were ever admitted into St. Mungo’s except to give birth, and Rose feared that this sudden occurrence may severely affect Lily.  
“Whilst you do that, I will continue to look at these scans- I think it would be best if we wait for Lily before we examine Severus still further.”  
“Will you go and check on Severus?”   
“Of course,” Scorpius replied and he walked out of the room, kissing Rose as he went.  
Sighing, Rose walked as fast as she could a few corridors along until she found Lily consulting two other healers.  
“Healer Harrison, may I speak to you for a moment?” Rose requested, knocking on the door.  
“Can it wait, Healer Malfoy? I am a little busy,” Lily asked, turning to look at Rose briefly.  
Rose paused. “No, it is rather urgent.”   
Lily turned to look at Rose and then, realising something was wrong, she excused herself from the conversation.  
“What’s the matter?” Lily asked urgently; the look in Rose’s eyes clearly meant that something was concerning her.  
“Severus is here,” she whispered so that the other Healers could not hear.  
“I beg your pardon?” Lily replied as if this was a bad joke to be making.  
“Severus is here, in a room. He is having migraines-”  
“And you think that it is serious?”  
“Scorpius seems to think so…”  
“Okay- okay-” Lily said, clearly panicking. “Okay, hang on a moment.”  
Lily walked back to her colleagues and stated that there was a personal matter she had to attend to and requested that they continue the conversation later.  
The two women walked as fast as they could back to the screening room where Scorpius was standing, still staring at the scans.  
Lily’s jaw dropped.   
“This is Severus’ brain?”  
“Yes,” Rose whispered.  
“He must be in terrible pain,” she whispered, her hand over her mouth. “Is he alright?” he added, looking between Rose and Scorpius.  
“I just went to check up on him. I didn’t enter, but he is well apart from the pain of course.”  
“So what are we going to do?” Lily asked the two of them.  
“We need to find out exactly where the source of the pain is most powerful- as you know, taking detailed scans of every area of the brain will take far too long; we need to pinpoint roughly where the pain originated so that we can take yet another scan and determine a diagnosis,” Scorpius explained.  
Lily nodded vigorously, and then without saying a word she walked out in search for Severus’ room. Realising what she was looking for, Rose and Scorpius followed and led her to Severus’ room. Once they reached their destination, however, all three of them stopped outside his door. Taking a deep breath, Lily opened the door to find Severus still sitting in his wheelchair, his eyes closed, but conscious.   
Closing the door behind them, Scorpius stepped forward and asked Severus:  
“How are you feeling Severus?”  
“Did you bring me the pain remedy?” he mumbled, and Lily gasped at the sound of his tone.  
“Not yet Severus, we need to-”  
“Just give me the medication, Scorpius,” Severus requested, his voice raised a little.  
“We will give you the medication, but we need to find out something first so we-” Rose began.  
“Ask me later; I need the remedy now!” Severus demanded, though he wasn’t shouting, his head was pounding harder now that his blood pressure had risen. After waiting all this time, they still hadn’t brought him any relief?  
“Severus, please we need to ask you some questions- just try to relax,” Lily pleaded.  
“Lily?”  
“Yes, Severus- it’s okay, just calm down. We’ll give you some pain remedy in a moment,” Lily reassured him, standing next to Severus and holding his hand with one of hers whilst rubbing his back with the other.  
Severus felt himself relax a little.  
“We need to know, Severus; where in your brain is the pain most severe?” Scorpius asked, watching Severus intently.  
“I don’t know, it just hurts,” Severus asserted, though he wasn’t really trying to fulfill Scorpius’ request.  
“Severus, just relax and try to pinpoint-”  
“I don’t know!” Severus asserted rather angrily, causing his migraine to increase substantially. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself down once again.  
“Please Severus, do you remember where the pain originated? Where does it hurt the most?” Rose asked, trying to assist her husband.  
“I can’t tell,” Severus whispered, trying to concentrate on Lily’s hand which was sliding up and down his back.  
“Has this happened to you before?” Scorpius pressed on, starting to ask routine questions, hoping that maybe they will give him some answers.  
Severus paused before answering.  
“Yes,” he replied, but wouldn’t elaborate.  
“For how long and how often?” Scorpius continued, making notes on the clipboard Rose was using before.  
“Once before, but it was not as severe as this,” Severus whispered, his palms starting to sweat slightly.  
Scorpius made to write this on the clipboard, when Lily suddenly said: “Wait!”  
Scorpius looked at her as did Rose. Though no one could tell, Severus’ heart was beginning to pound still faster.  
“He’s lying,” Lily asserted. Then turning to Severus she continued: “I do not know how often you have been having these migraines Severus, but you were lying just then. We know that we are all friends here, but as your Healers, you cannot lie to us- please do not lie, it’s important that you tell us everything you can,” Lily pleaded.  
Severus didn’t say a word, thinking about his answer- they were not going to be impressed.  
“I have been experiencing migraines for a while- they kept getting worse every time.”  
“And how long have these migraines being happening?”  
“About eight hours-”  
“No, I mean how many weeks have you been experiencing migraines on and off?” Scorpius clarified himself.  
Again Severus paused. “Two years,” he mumbled.  
Lily let out a little gasp and squeezed Severus hand, Rose stared at Severus in disbelief whilst Scorpius went pale.  
“Please Severus, I need you to tell me where it hurts the most; this is very important,” Scorpius emphasised.  
“I don’t-”  
“Concentrate for me- relax and focus your attention on your brain- where is the pain residing?” Scorpius asked soothingly and quietly, as Severus tried his utmost to relax, Lily still rubbing his back, though she was no longer squeezing his hand.  
The concentration was making him feel ill, though forcing himself not to be sick on Lily and moreover, not throwing up in front of Rose, Lily and Scorpius, he forced himself to discover the source of the pain as fast as he could to get rid of the nausea.  
“Here,” Severus indicated, using his free hand to place his palm onto his forehead.  
“Thank you, Severus. But now I need you to lie down on your back so that we can get the best scan of that area, sitting up in a chair, does not give us the frontal image; unfortunately, screening doesn’t work that way,” he reinforced, looking at Rose and Lily for assistance. Standing up, Lily removed her hand from Severus’ and made to help him.  
“No, I can’t- give me some pain remedy first,” Severus mumbled.  
“We can’t, Severus, not until we have taken the scans. We will help you- please try,” Lily pleaded, standing in front of Severus now. “Open your eyes and look at me,” she added, looking intently at Severus’ eyelids, dying for them to open.  
“No, the light is bright.”  
“The light is off now. You need to be able to see where you are going,” said Rose.  
“Just look at me, Severus. It won’t take long; the bed is just behind you, it will be over in seconds.”  
“I’m in too much pain,” Severus whispered so that only Lily could hear.  
“I know, Sev, but please, we need to get the best scan we can possibly get. Hold onto my hands, and Rose and Scorpius will lead you to the bed so you don’t have to turn around,” Lily encouraged, holding out her hands for Severus to use.  
Slowly, Severus opened his eyes into slits; it seemed the motion was enough to increase the pain pounding in his head.  
Severus cried out, though only briefly, clutching his head with his hands. Lily placed her hands on top of his and tried to grab hold of his fingers.  
“Severus, now that you have opened your eyes, let us do this and then you can close them again.”  
Slowly, Severus opened his hands so that Lily could grab hold and then slowly she pulled him out of the wheelchair, watching Severus’ face the entire time. Rose dragged the wheelchair out from under him and pushed it to the other side of the room, and then together she and Scorpius helped Lily move Severus to the bed, but he wouldn’t move.  
“Severus, it is only two steps away,” Scorpius encouraged. “You can do this.”  
But Severus was only barely listening; he was forcing himself not to be sick from the pain.  
“Severus?” Lily said, looking into Severus’ face; he had closed his eyes again. “Severus, open your eyes and look at me,” she requested, half in panic, and half in deepest caring. “Please, concentrate on me just for a moment and open your eyes.” Slowly she watched as Severus made an attempt to open his eyes again and this time, he looked directly at her.  
She smiled a little, hoping that would encourage him to continue as Rose and Scorpius slowly led Severus to the bed.  
“That’s it Severus, almost there,” Lily whispered.   
Once they finally reached the bed, they slowly lay Severus upon it who, once his head rested on the pillow, was taking quick breaths as if he had just run a race. Closing his eyes again, Rose, Scorpius and Lily looked at each other with deep concern and then, Scorpius extracted his wand from his robes and began to screen the frontal lobe of Severus’ brain, whilst Lily had resumed holding Severus’ still sweaty hand.  
“Excellent job, Severus,” Scorpius said seriously when he was done. “I will examine these screens and perhaps Rose or Lily could get you some medication?” He asked, looking between the two women. Rose indicated to Lily that she would go and Lily was grateful; she wanted to stay with Severus and keep an eye on him. Once Rose and Scorpius had left, Lily made every effort to make Severus more comfortable even though no words were spoken between them. Lily knew that Severus was still conscious and was feeling and listening to her every move, but she knew better than to talk. Once she had fussed with his room as much as possible, she pulled up a chair near Severus’ bed and ran her hand up and down his arm in the hope that the motion would comfort him.  
Listening to Severus’ breathing, she heard it slow down to its normal rate and took this to mean that he found her touch to be soothing.   
And while Lily sat there waiting for her cousin and Scorpius to return she prayed that Severus would be okay.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Thankfully, Rose didn’t take long to return with the remedy and together, she and Lily helped Severus take it, all three of them waiting anxiously for Scorpius to return with the results.  
Severus could feel the pain sliding away from him and felt himself drifting off to sleep. Whilst semi-conscious, he heard Rose say quietly:   
“I am going to see what Scorpius is doing…” and Severus heard the soft closing of the door.  
“How are you feeling?” Lily asked, sitting next to Severus’ bed and looking eagerly at his half closed eyes.  
“Better,” he mumbled. “Can I please be discharged?” He asked in a stronger tone.  
Lily shook her head. “Not until Scorpius comes back with the results, Severus. Just rest, okay?”   
Lily was fidgeting, she was so nervous- if there was nothing serious to worry about, she was sure Scorpius would have returned by now.  
“Lily,” Severus said quietly, putting his hand on top of Lily’s. “Stop,” he said, so that her hands ceased wringing each other.  
“Sorry,” Lily whispered, looking at anywhere but at Severus, though she didn’t push his hand away. “I’m just so worried.”  
“Don’t be.”  
“Aren’t you anxious?” Lily asked, looking back at Severus and staring into his eyes.  
“No,” he replied simply. “Because whatever happens, I know everything will be fine,” he said calmly, looking back at Lily, the latter continuing to stare in disbelief.  
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Rose poked her head through the gap.  
“Lily? Can I speak to you for a moment?” She looked pale.  
“Can’t you just tell me here?”  
Rose shook her head. “As a Healer I need to talk to you privately.”  
Lily looked towards Severus, who nodded encouragingly. Lily left his bedside and followed Rose out of the room.  
“Come with me,” she said quietly, leading Lily back to the screening room where Scorpius was waiting for them.  
“What is it?” Lily asked, once they entered the room and closed the door behind them.  
Scorpius pointed at the scans and was just about to say something when Lily gasped.  
“No, no, no, please tell me this isn’t Severus’ scan,” she muttered, her eyes wide with shock and fear.  
When neither Rose nor Scorpius answered, Lily had confirmation that what she was seeing was indeed an indication of what Severus would suffer- what they would all suffer.  
Turning around to look at Rose and Scorpius, Lily insisted:   
“There must be something we can do.”  
Scorpius shook his head solemnly. “You know what this illness is Lily, it is genetic; we cannot change the genes of our patient once the illness takes effect.”  
“Couldn’t we remove a part of his brain?” Lily pressed on.  
“The illness will spread anyway, it resides among the neurons of the brain, taking out his frontal lobe for instance will not save him,” Rose whispered, knowing that this answer will only add to Lily’s denial and sorrow.  
“Are you telling me there is nothing we can do?” demanded Lily, looking aggravated as she stared between Rose and Scorpius. “We’re just going to watch him die!?”  
“Lily, he still has a few more years-”  
“During which he will be getting migraines that are far worse than this one!”  
“Yes, he will suffer,” Scorpius admitted. “But if he stays here-”  
“He already wants to leave, you know as well as I do that he will not be happy here!” Lily cried hysterically.  
“There is no other choice, Lily,” Rose whispered, making to give her cousin a hug, but Lily pulled away.  
“During my first year as an intern, I watched a family whose father had the same illness and in the end he died alone! He died in that hospital room all alone because his family couldn’t sit there and watch him die! I didn’t know much back then, but I even found it hard to witness his slow deterioration and I wished that there was something I could do and I didn’t even know the man! This is Severus we are talking about and are you telling me that in sixty years there is still nothing we can do?” Lily pleaded, tears falling down her cheeks.  
“We won’t leave him-”  
“But how do you know, Rose? What if it is too hard for me, too hard for all of us and then the only person he has for company is a nurse he doesn’t even know? I will not let that happen!” Lily cried in hysterics.  
“I promise to stay with him, Lily,” Rose reassured her, giving a Lily a hug, which she now accepted. “It will be difficult, but if we stick together and support one another, we can get through it.”  
“But that family I saw- they fell apart- they couldn’t- they couldn’t- this can’t be happening- after everything he has done in his life, this is the way he has to die?” Lily cried, looking between Socrpius and Rose as if daring them to contradict her and tell her something different.  
No one answered, it truly was a terrible diagnosis, but now that they had answers, part of their job was to inform the patient and discuss what will happen in the future.  
“We must tell Severus,” Scorpius said after a long pause as Lily was drying her eyes on her sleeve.  
The two women nodded and together they walked back to Severus’ room. 

Once inside, Lily took one look at Severus, who was looking much better, and focused all of her energy on not bursting into tears.  
“I feel better, may I go now?” Severus asked the three of them, as if he were getting tired of asking.  
“No,” Scorpius replied seriously. “Not yet, Severus.”  
Severus paused looking between the three of them. “You look grave. What have you found?” he asked as if expecting the worst and lying back in bed, giving into the fact that he will not be released anytime soon, though he was still no closer to finding out why.  
“You have a disease called Protinumens Progressio Morbus-”  
Severus smiled a little; he had no idea what that meant and was slightly amused by how professional and intelligent Scorpius sounded.  
Scorpius returned the smile and continued.  
“The headaches you have been experiencing occur because the neurons in your brain are dying. The neurons in our brain, by their very nature, begin to deteriorate in our old age- this occurs in everyone. But those who have Protinumens Progressio Morbus, once this deterioration starts happening, instead of multiplying they die, sending a chain reaction throughout that area of the brain. Why this happens we are not entirely sure, but we believe a chemical is released after the first neuron dies, causing the others to also die much quicker than they are naturally supposed to. In people without this disease, no chemical is released and each neuron dies on its own clock, in its own time which means a deterioration in all areas of the brain can be expected. In your case, however, in the frontal lobe, where the pain is strongest, we can already see the damage that has been done to that area and unfortunately it will only get worse. Once the neurons in the frontal lobe have died, the disease will then progress to the other areas of your brain until eventually you-”  
“Die,” Severus finished off for Scorpius.   
“Correct,” Scorpius agreed, nodding.  
“How did I get this illness?” Severus asked, not as if in denial, but simply curious.  
“It is genetic, which means that your mother or father most likely had and died from it,” Rose explained, trying to sound as professional as she could, but did not even come close to Scorpius’ professionalism.  
“My father did not have it; he died when I was in my twenties from a muggle liver disease. It must have been my mother…” Severus trailed off lost in thought.  
“May I ask what age she was when she passed away?” Scorpius asked.  
“About my age, I believe. But I left home almost the moment I joined the Death Eaters and I very rarely saw her. I was not even informed of her funeral, so I am not aware on how she was before she died. I assumed she died of old age, but it is possible that she died of this.”  
“I would say that that is most likely to be the case.”  
“What are we going to do about this?” Severus asked the three Healers in front of him. “I assume there is no cure or you would not be looking so grave.”  
“There is no cure, correct,” Scorpius reinforced. “Basically, we can give you remedies to eliminate the pain, but there is no stopping the progression of the disease.”  
“What exactly does that entail?”  
“The frontal lobe is what makes people different from other animals- it gives us the power and ability to reason, question, argue, speak, write and talk. Although you are experiencing no symptoms of this yet, as the disease progresses, it will gradually become evident. We will be able to tell when the frontal lobe has been completely destroyed once you are unable to speak. The next lobe is called the temporal lobe which is responsible for hearing, which will begin to deteriorate just prior to the parietal lobe which is responsible for all voluntary movement, smelling and tasting. These lobes rest on top of one another and will consequently deteriorate at about the same rate. The occipital lobe follows and damage to this area will prevent you from seeing and finally, the brain stem will be attacked which will mean that your heart will stop beating, you will stop breathing which is when the patient dies,” Scorpius finished, realising how detached and uncaring he must have sounded.  
“Couldn’t you simply kill me and save me the pain?” Severus asked in a serious tone, though he didn’t truly mean it.  
Lily gasped.  
“By law, anyone who is breathing on their own, are considered alive even if they have no memory or cannot speak and hence, killing you, even with your permission would be considered murder and as Healers, we would lose our jobs,” Scorpius replied, deciding to play along with Severus’ question.  
“So I must live through this?” Severus confirmed.  
“Unfortunately, yes, but we will make sure that you experience as minimal pain as possible and ensure that someone is always here to-”  
“No, that is not what I am concerned with,” Severus interrupted; he needed to explain what he was thinking… feeling. “Have any of you seen another person with the same illness as myself?”  
Rose and Scorpius looked at Lily, giving her away. Severus followed their gaze until he rested his eyes on Lily.  
“What happened to the family?”  
“They fell apart,” Lily whispered.   
“Very well,” Severus replied, trying to sound as detached as possible when he was really thinking very fast and felt very emotional. “I assume that as your patient, I have patient-Healer privileges?”   
None of the healers confirmed or denied this because they knew where Severus was going.  
“In which case, by law, you are not allowed to tell anyone else about my diagnosis unless I give you permission, is that correct?”  
Tears were forming in Lily’s eyes, all three of them knew what Severus was going to say next and did not wish to hear it.  
Assuming that their silence proved him correct, Severus finished his request.  
“In that case, you are not permitted to tell anyone about this disease or that I have it- no one is to know- no one. I will go home and stay there for as long as I can, leading my usual life and when the time comes when I am no longer able to function completely, I will return here as you wish and die alone so that-”  
“No!” Lily cried, tears pouring down her cheeks. “Don’t be ridiculous, Severus!”  
Severus looked intently into Lily’s eyes.  
“Do you really think I am being ridiculous?” he asked her, more like a professor disciplining a student rather than a friend.  
Lily paused; she was not expecting this reaction.  
“Um- yes, I think you are,” Lily replied quietly, but with confidence.  
“What do you feel is wrong with what I am suggesting?” Severus asked, sitting up straighter in his bed.  
Lily was glad of one thing, Severus’ ability to argue and question was still intact meaning that no lasting damage has occurred to his frontal lobe yet.  
“There are many problems I have with your plan Severus, but two of them are particularly strong- one is the fact that you do not wish for my family to find out and two, that you believe you actually have the choice as to whether or not you die alone.”  
“I do not see why both of those things cannot be achieved.”  
“Oh, they can be achieved Severus, but they won’t be because I will not permit it!” Lily asserted  
“As your patient, you must give in to my orders-”  
“And as someone who loves you, I promise you that when you die, you will not be   
alone-”  
“But that is what I wish-”  
“Why, Severus? Why would you want to die from this terrible illness all by yourself?”  
“At least then I will spare you the images of my dying being; you will be spared from watching me deteriorate and become mindless-”  
“But we want to be with you, no matter what you-”  
“I have seen many people die in my life, Lily-”  
“As have I!”  
“Watching someone die, knowing you can do nothing about it is so painful, so torturous-”  
“I don’t care!”  
“It will plague you for the rest of your life, Lily and I will not have that- I will not be responsible for causing you so much pain!”  
“But I want to be here with you, someone has to be-”  
“And that person will not be someone I care about! I refuse to allow it!”  
“How do you know how we will react? We may be okay with it, stick together and support one another-”  
“Isn’t that what the other family tried to do?”  
“Yes, but-“  
“Unfortunately, no amount of support can break you free from the pain- it is terrible to watch someone die, let alone be responsible for it and although you should not experience either, I know you already feel responsible for this, but it is not your fault and I will not have you put yourself through any more pain.”  
“I will move on just like you did with Dumbledore and Lil-”  
“I have accepted it, but not a day goes by that I remember that I was responsible for the deaths of those two people, Lily. To watch someone you care about suffer is so terrible, that you wish you were dead yourself; it is something you will never get over and I refuse to permit you to watch me die!”  
“Well you will not have a choice Severus because when you are close to death, you will not be able to stop me and I will come here and be with you every hour and if that means I will be grieving for the rest of my life then I don’t care!”  
“So you are going to disobey my wishes?”  
“Yes-”  
“What kind of love is that?”   
“The selfless kind! You are acting this way because you want to protect me- protect my family, but you never after all these years think about yourself, Severus! But I do, I care about you and even if I am going against all of your wishes, Hell will freeze over before I will let you die alone!”  
“Take it from someone who knows, do not create the torture that you will be trying to escape from for the rest of your life. I know you care about me, but I ask that you do not sit there watching me like I am a useless, pathetic animal that you feel sorry for-”  
“Severus, please!” Lily cried, sobbing. “You are not pathetic and I do not wish to make you angry- I just want to say goodbye.”  
“You can say goodbye when I am admitted into St. Mungo’s and then you will never see me again-”  
“Are you trying to torture me?” Lily screamed. “I have to see you! I could not live with myself knowing that you were in the same hospital where I worked, in pain and scared, but that I could not go in there and see you because you think I will torture myself later! I will torture myself every waking hour, wondering if there was something I could do, worrying about how you are, and wondering if you are still alive for Christ’s sake! Knowing that you are suffering and that I cannot be there to comfort you is unbearable to me!” Lily sobbed.  
“I do not want you to remember me as a great wizard who lost his mind and was simply a shell that breathed.”  
“Do you really think I would remember you that way, Severus? You are so much more to me than whatever you may be when you die. But as your friend- as someone who cares about you, please do not deny me my right to care for you!”  
“Lily, I love your family too much to risk it falling apart, to risk the pain and the grief that will arise if you watch me transform into an empty shell where I cannot even remember who you are! I do not want to imagine you sitting there watching me struggle with your identity, and I don’t want you to be there when I struggle to find the words to tell you and your family how much you mean to me, because I know that if I let you visit me, if I give you that permission, you will surely tell your family and especially your father and I refuse to cause more pain to your family than I already have!”  
“PAIN? PAIN, Severus? Do you think that hiding the truth from Dad will lessen the pain he will feel we he sees you lying in the bed with blank eyes, no words, no sight, just a body that is breathing and existing- this empty shell that my father will see having no idea what happened to you because you wouldn’t let me tell him? He will grieve for you regardless of what he knows, but in one case he will understand what happened, he would be expecting it and be able to cope with it, but the other? He will never forgive you Severus and moreover, he will never forgive me for keeping it from him, even though I am bound by confidentiality! No matter what you do Severus, my family will fall apart because of your death; you have become a part of my family and without you, it will not be the same, EVER AGAIN! So don’t try to pretend that we will be okay as long as we do not witness your death or watch you deteriorate, because we will- all of us will fall apart when we lose you and nothing you can say or do will change that, so please- please let me tell them and let us be with you because the pain of watching you die will be nothing to the pain we will feel when you are lost forever,” Lily cried, half sobbing, half yelling.  
Severus stared at Lily, wondering whether she was going to continue. He was concerned for her and could not help but partially agree with what she said.  
“I will be fine, Lily-”  
“Of course you’ll be fine! But what about the rest of us? Those you leave behind! We want to say goodbye to you, to be there when you leave this earth forever- you know you are going to a better place, but the rest of us are left here on this earth- a world without you in it!”  
“But you will suffer more if you-”  
“Then let us suffer! Do you think you are not worth the grief? The time? The mourning? Do you think it is best that we simply hear of your death, not being there when you die, my father not knowing that you were suffering until it was too late- do you believe that the knowledge that you are dead will lessen the pain when Dad realises he didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye?” Lily was becoming hysterical now. “I cannot imagine a world without you in it Severus and I have no idea what I’m going to do without you and if you tell me one more time that I cannot be with you when you die I’m going to-”  
“Lily-”  
“Don’t you dare tell me-”  
“Come here,” Severus finished and Lily ran to him like she was a child again and Severus hugged her close to him.  
Lily was sobbing her heart out and she didn’t care that she had let her defenses down; she could not escape the fact that she would miss Severus more than she could ever tell him. But the words wouldn’t come; her breathing was coming out in deep sobs that she could hardly breathe, let alone talk. In hysterics, Lily embraced Severus so tightly, it would not have surprised either of them if she never let go, tears falling hard and fast onto his shoulder as she wept with no restraint, no thought, just raw emotion.  
“Calm down, Lily,” Severus said soothingly, trying to comfort the woman by rubbing her back like she had been doing for him only minutes ago. But if anything, the gesture made Lily sob even harder.  
“I’m sorry,” Severus whispered to her. “I’m sorry; I give you permission to tell whoever you want about my illness and if you wish, if you want to put yourself through that pain, you can watch me die and if you-”  
Again, Severus’ attempt to make Lily happier, made her sob even more and Severus was running out of things to say and so continued hugging her to him, hoping that she would calm down soon.  
“Come on, Lily; calm down for me; there is no need to be upset, it will be-”  
“No need to be upset, are you kidding me, Severus!” Lily screamed through her tears, pulling apart from Severus to look at him, her eyes and cheeks drenched with tears.  
“It is not enough that you were born into a family where your father didn’t want you and it isn’t enough that you were abused and teased as a child, watching people die before your eyes- you then have this horrific disease where you will die in pain too- it’s the injustice of it- you don’t deserve it- you live and die in pain- why couldn’t you die in peace- have something in your life go right for you?”  
“Lily, listen to me,” Severus implored as Lily lay her head back on his shoulder and wept once more. “The beginning of my life was unpleasant, unjustified and perhaps unfair, and from what you have told me, the end of my life will be similar, but for the last one hundred and ten years, my life has been everything that I thought it could never be. The pain I felt at the beginning and the suffering I will experience at the conclusion of my life is a worthy payment for the last one hundred and ten years, Lily. My life is wonderful the way it is and I wouldn’t change it, so do not, for a second, feel sorry for me.”  
“But what about me? What am I going to do without you? My life will never be the same; how am I going to cope, how am I going to go to Dad’s for Christmas every year knowing you won’t be there and what, Severus- what am I going to tell my family- how do I explain that we will be a witness to the slow and painful death of our beloved Severus? How will I explain to my great grandchildren that there will come a time when Severus will not recognise them and what am I going to do Severus when I am standing at the door to this room wondering whether or not I can do this anymore? What if I am not brave enough- not courageous enough to be there for you, even if you don’t know me, even if you can’t see- what will I suffer if I cannot bring myself to hold the hand of a man whose very being has already disappeared? What if I cannot find it in myself to be strong enough for you? What kind of a betrayal will that be?”  
“Lily!” Severus interrupted, tears in his eyes. “Listen to me and listen to me closely. I have watched many people die, but never have I witnessed the actual death of someone I care about, but I can imagine it to be one of the most painful experiences a person can witness. I do not expect you to watch me die and to be honest, I do not wish it and if you are having second thoughts, if there is an internal struggle between running and staying, whatever you decide to do, know that the choice does not matter to me, but it will matter to you. I know, more than I ever have before, that you love me and I know that if you had it your way you would stay with me right until my last breath, but we are human Lily and death is one thing that many of us cannot face and for that, I will always forgive you.”  
“I’m so sorry, Severus!” Lily sobbed.  
“Do not apologise for this, Lily, don’t you dare blame yourself.”  
“But there is nothing I can do to make it any better,” Lily pleaded as if hoping that Severus would inform her of something she could do to improve his situation.  
“When Scorpius was telling me about the disease, I was not worried for myself, I was worried about you- about Harry and your family. It is beneficial to express your emotions, but know at the end of it all that you will get through the pain- the suffering- the loss and that you will be happy and move forward, so do not dwell on it forever, because there is one thing I know- wishing it were different does not bring anyone back and it does not help anyone- so don’t make the same mistake I did all those years ago. Promise me that you will move on.”  
“I’ll try,” Lily whispered. “But Severus, I’m scared; what if I can’t do this on my own? How do I tell my family?”  
“You do not need to do it on your own, I am sure that Rose, Scorpius-” Severus paused to look around as both Severus and Lily realise that Rose and Scorpius had left the room, perhaps at the very beginning of Lily’s sobbing. “And I will be with you when you tell the family and I am sure they will support you and support each other. We will tell them together, Lily.”  
“Okay,” Lily whispered audibly, though her tears were still falling, she was calming down; having a plan, knowing Severus’ wishes, comforted her somehow.  
For a few moments, the two of them remained silent, left to their own thoughts and feelings, valuing the moment they had together.  
“I’m sorry for crying like this,” Lily said, getting up off the bed so that she could see Severus face to face. “You are the one who will be in pain- the one who has the disease, you should be the one who is crying, not me.”  
“I am not afraid and I do not feel sorry for myself, if I were to cry, I would cry for you and your family; the people who are left behind. Grief is much more painful than anything physical, trust me; I know. It is much easier to die than to watch someone die; my suffering will be nothing compared to yours, Lily and you know that, even though it may be too selfish to admit such a thing.”  
Lily didn’t say anything, but she didn’t have to; Severus knew that she agreed with him, though she could not bring herself to admit it.  
“When will I be permitted to leave?” Severus asked in the silence.  
“Oh,” Lily said sitting up and pulling out Severus’ clipboard at the end of his bed. “I think that you can go home now but you must promise me that if you begin to realise that you are unable to function normally that you will tell me, Rose or Scorpius immediately.”  
“I promise,” Severus said, getting out of bed and beginning to walk to the door.  
“Will it be alright if I visit you at home every now and then just to make sure you are okay?” Lily asked suddenly. Severus knew that this was not for his benefit, but hers and there was no way that Severus would refuse her.  
“Of course,” Severus replied, smiling a little to which Lily returned and together they left St. Mungo’s, Lily signing out as she went, and Apparated to Grimmauld place, seven of Lily’s Tigress Patronuses running ahead of her.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Does anyone else feel like they are experiencing de ja vu?” Ron asked the room at large as once again they were sitting down as a family, though in Grimmauld Place this time.  
“I do,” Harry admitted. “What is it with our children and not being able to tell us anything?” Harry joked.  
“So no one knows why Lily wants us all here?” Ginny asked, receiving shaking heads as a response.  
“Well who’s missing?” Albus asked, counting the people that were present.  
“Obviously Lily isn’t here, but neither is Rose or Scorpius and I guess Severus, I assume she would have invited him?” deduced Albus.  
“I hate it when they do this,” Ginny shivered slightly. “Normally when large meetings like this are called, it means something serious has or will happen and I hate it that no one has any idea what it is.”  
“Well we can guess if you want, Mum,” James began. “She may be pregnant-”  
“No, James don’t be ridiculous!” Ginny reprimanded her son.  
“I was just joking Mum, honestly.”  
“Perhaps she is going to work at Hogwarts as a Professor?” James continued on.  
“And what makes you think that? What would she teach?” Albus challenged him.  
“I don’t know, potions probably-”  
“Then she would be following after Severus-”  
“May be that is what she is wanting to tell us- that would explain why Severus isn’t   
here-”  
“But as the Headmaster, surely she would have run it by me?” Harry thought aloud.  
“Well maybe that is why she has gathered us all here; to ask you like Rose and Scorpius did with Dad,” Hugo speculated.  
“Speaking of which, where are Scorpius and Rose?” Hermione asked, looking around the room, wondering why they weren’t invited if Hugo was.  
As if on cue, the door bell rang and Harry went to answer it, returning with Scorpius and Rose.  
“So do either of you know why we are here?” Ron asked as if he were sick of asking the question.  
But neither Scorpius nor Rose answered and it was clear to everyone in the room, that they knew something, perhaps everything about why a meeting had been called.  
The silence that followed the question was deafening and it was clear that everyone was becoming uncomfortable; they had the feeling that whatever this meeting was about, it wasn’t going to be cheerful like the last one was all those decades ago.  
“Do you know when Lily will be arriving?” Ginny asked her niece, looking past Harry so as to see the couple at the end of the row.  
Scorpius looked to Rose as if waiting to see whether she would give an answer. It seemed that Rose did not trust herself to speak, so after silently indicating to Scorpius that she was not going to reply, Scorpius said:  
“They should be here soon.”  
“They?” Ginny began, but at that moment, the bell rang again and Harry leapt up to answer it, knowing that his daughter would be at the door.  
“Lily, it’s about time,” Harry said smiling, giving his daughter a hug as she walked in. “Everyone’s been wondering what has been happening, there has been much speculation and it seems James’ potions idea wasn’t a bad one,” Harry continued, shaking Severus’ hand and closing the door behind their visitors.  
Once in the living room, James asked:  
“So was I right Lily, are you going to become the new potions master at Hogwarts?”  
Knowing the true seriousness of the situation, Lily tried her hardest to smile at her brother’s joke, but she didn’t really pull it off.  
“I wish,” Lily replied half heartedly, averting her eyes from her family.  
“Lily what’s wrong?” Harry asked, leaning forward in his seat, looking into his daughter’s eyes.  
Lily could only look at her father for a moment before she had to turn away; she couldn’t do this- she couldn’t. But instead of talking, she looked past her father at her cousin. Rose was very pale and did not look like she was up to speaking, but she gave Lily a reassuring smile. Then looking at Scorpius, Lily watched as he did a form of made up sign language, asking her if she wanted him up there with her. Lily shook her head and he nodded his understanding. Lily then turned to Severus and he could see the beginning of tears dwelling in her eyes, and knew how hard this was for her. Severus smiled a little and nodded to her, indicating that she should begin, he was there for her if she needed the support; he wouldn’t leave her side.  
“Lily?” Ginny said, getting up from her chair and moving towards her daughter.  
“No, it’s okay, you can sit down Mum,” Lily said, forcing herself not to reveal any emotion just yet, even though the whole room could tell that something was very wrong.  
Ginny sat down slowly, clearly concerned and as Lily looked around the room, she saw the same worried face looking back at her.  
“Thanks for coming,” Lily said. “I was hoping that none of you would be busy tonight and thankfully you weren’t. Unfortunately, Michael couldn’t come for he is looking after our great grandchildren tonight, because there is something important you need to know…” Lily faltered and looked up at Severus, who however silently, encouraged her to continue.  
“I don’t really know how to start,” Lily began, looking around wildly as if the walls may give her some indication of what to say and how to say it.  
“The beginning is a good place,” James suggested, also looking concerned; the idea that his sister could not find the words for anything was a unique occurrence that worried James severely.  
“The beginning… okay, I’ll try that- okay, well today Severus-” Lily broke off, looking at the mentioned man, hoping that he wanted to take over which he did, for Lily’s sake, not for his own.  
“I had a terrible migraine last night, it constantly woke me up. As the night went on, the pain intensified, so I took myself to St. Mungos,” Severus told a bunch of shocked faces. “I was soon assigned to Rose’s care,” Severus continued, indicating Rose on the far side of the room. “Soon enough, Scorpius and Lily were informed of my being there and together they sought to discover what, if anything was wrong with me.”  
“But wasn’t it just a headache?” Harry asked. “Shouldn’t some pain remedy have improved the pain?”  
“I took some pain remedy before going to St. Mungos, but it didn’t help,” Severus replied and saw that this shocked most of the family; pain remedy almost always helps with the pain.  
“So what happened?” Ginny asked, wanting more information in her confusion and anxiety.  
“Severus informed us that he had been having headaches on and off for the last couple of years. Though none were as painful as the one he had last night, we decided to do some tests,” Lily explained, once more trying to force the tears from falling. “But the screening was not precise enough to see what, if anything was causing Severus a problem. So we asked him to tell us where it hurt the most, to which he answered, his forehead. So we then took more scans and then we- we looked at them closely and- and we saw that Severus- um- that he- that Severus has- ” Lily couldn’t continue, tears had begun to fall and Harry, Ginny, Albus and James made to get up to comfort her, but Severus signaled for them all to sit down, which they did, however reluctantly. Severus put his arm around Lily, who began to cry quietly on his shoulder.   
“Scorpius,” Severus said seriously, looking at the man sitting next to his wife. Scorpius didn’t need to be told twice; after giving Rose a quick kiss, he walked to the front of the room and patted Lily softly on the back before continuing for her.  
“We found that Severus has been suffering from a genetic disease, presumably from his mother, called Protinumens Progressio Morbus and this means,” Scorpius continued in a rush, having seen that most of his audience were about to ask the same question. “That Severus, to put it simply, has been experiencing these headaches because the neurons in his brain are dying abnormally quickly. This causes severe migraines which explains why Severus’ pain has been increasing over the last couple of years. The disease starts in the frontal lobe of the forehead and eventually travels to the rest of the brain-”  
“So, his- Severus’ brain is- is dying?” Ginny asked, looking uncertainly between Scorpius and Severus who were both looking at her.  
“To put it simply, yes. People lose neurons on a regular basis and because the brain is such a complicated organ, we often do not reproduce new ones, but in Severus’ case, they are dying at an increased, unnatural rate, with no chance of them returning and without neurons in the brain, the brain cannot function-”  
“So what are you saying Scorpius?” Harry asked, seriously, wanting something to be said that was not scientific.  
“As the disease progresses, certain areas of Severus’ brain will stop functioning. Because the deterioration started in the frontal lobe, the first symptom Severus will experience is loss of reasoning, logical thinking, abstractness and eventually he will be unable to read, speak or process language-”  
“He won’t be able to speak?” Albus asked looking at Severus, horrified.  
“Correct, the frontal lobe is responsible for all the functions that make us human, so anything that differs between other mammals and us will be something Severus will   
lack-”  
“And exactly how long will this take?” James asked.  
“We are not sure, the disease progresses at different rates for everyone, but I would think that in the next five years or so, the frontal lobe will most likely be completely damaged.”  
“And- and then what happens?” Ginny asked, almost as if she didn’t want to know.  
“The next two areas in the brain are on top of each other, so the disease will probably spread through them at an equal rate. This means that Severus’ memory, ability to voluntarily move, his sense of smell, taste, touch and hear will then diminish and again that may take a few years.” Scorpius paused for a moment, ready for someone to interrupt him, but no one did, they were lost in thought.  
“And finally,” Scorpius continued a little hesitantly. “Severus’ eye sight will disappear and once that has happened, it would probably be half a year or so before his heart will stop beating and he will cease to breathe which means-”  
“We know what it means!” cried Rose, the tone in her voice begging him to stop. Scorpius nodded apologetically in her direction and remained silent while the people around him mourned like he, Lily, Severus and Rose had already done back at St. Mungos.  
No one seemed to be able to look at Scorpius, nor at Severus as if looking at either would simply bring more bad news.  
“There is nothing you can do because it’s genetic, is that correct?” Hermione asked in a whisper.  
“Correct,” Scorpius said.  
“So, what’s the plan?” Harry asked, solemnly, realising that there could hardly be a plan, now knowing what this disease was going to do to Severus, what possible plan could there be?  
“The last I knew,” Scorpius said, looking uncertainly towards Lily who was still crying silently on Severus’ shoulder, but then catching Severus’ eye, he indicated that the deal was still the same. “Severus will be able to live at home and continue with his life as usual. We have given him a more effective remedy so that he can hopefully keep the pain at bay. At present, Severus is not experiencing any symptoms other than pain, which means that the frontal lobe has not started deteriorating yet, but once it does, it will happen reasonably fast. Lily, Rose or myself will visit him on a regular basis to ensure that no other symptoms have shown themselves. Once the frontal lobe begins to deteriorate, Severus has agreed, I believe,” Scorpius broke off again to look at Severus, who nodded. “To return to St. Mungos where he will stay until he…” Scorpius didn’t finish the sentence knowing that it wouldn’t be appreciated by anyone.  
“How long, do you think, until he will have to go to St. Mungos?” Ginny asked quietly.  
“I am not sure, but I would estimate about a year or two.”  
Everyone stared back at him in disbelief, and Scorpius wished he could simply walk back to his wife and not be the scrutiny of this terrible news.  
“Lily?” Harry said after what felt like the longest silence of his life. “Are you okay?”   
Lily, who had her face buried into Severus’ shoulder, lifted her head to face her father.  
“I’m okay, Dad,” she replied, sniffing a little as she wiped her tears. “I had my cry at the hospital,” she continued, laughing a little.  
“Have you- have any of you,” Harry asked, turning to look at Scorpius and Rose. “Have you seen this illness before?” Scropius and Rose shook their heads, but Lily nodded and Harry stared at her.  
“You have?” he asked in disbelief. “When?”  
“When I was an intern,” Lily whispered as if the experience was too terrible to plague everyone with it. “A father of four suffered from the same disease and I was given the task to monitor his progress-”  
“It wasn’t easy was it?” Harry continued, with a serious expression on her face- he knew there was a reason why she was so emotional, not just because she cared deeply for Severus, but because she knew what to expect and it pained her severely.  
Lily shook her head vigorously and Harry stepped forward to comfort his daughter, and Severus moved away so as to give them space. Ginny, James and Albus also followed suit and Severus was expecting them all to go and comfort Lily who had began to sob in her father’s arms, but instead the three of them walked up to Severus, who tried not to look as shocked as he felt.  
“We’re so sorry, Severus,” Ginny said, putting her hand on his arm.  
“You didn’t deserve this,” James added.  
“We’ll be with you,” Albus reinforced, looking seriously into Severus’ eyes. “Until the very end.”  
Severus nodded; those words meant so much to him and even though he believed Lily when she said that her family would refuse to leave him, there was nothing more reassuring than hearing the words coming from them, with such sincerity and care.  
“Thank you,” Severus said softly. “But I told Lily earlier today, that I want you to look out for each other and support one another. I may be ill, but there will come a time when I will die and then you will need each other, more than you have in the past, to move on. You must promise me,” Severus said, looking between Ginny, James and Albus with both seriousness and passion. “That no matter how much pain or suffering or grief you may experience, you remember that I will be happy knowing that your family are supporting one another. Lily didn’t tell you, but the family she watched, the man that had the same illness as me, his family fell apart as they watched him die and I do not want that to happen, do you understand me?” Severus said, staring into the eyes of Ginny, James and Albus.  
They nodded.  
“Once I die, I will no long be in pain, but I know from experience as I am sure you do too,” Severus added, looking specifically at Ginny. “That pain can last for years- lifetimes, and I will not have my death being the cause of your family being too upset, too grievous to speak to one another. I want your family to be happy and you must promise me that whatever may happen to me between now and that moment, you will do your best to be so. Although I will still be alive, the one thing I fear is that I will not be able to be there for you when I cannot communicate- I cannot tell you that I am okay, so I am telling you now that I will be- I will always be okay. So if you feel you have to leave because you cannot witness the process any longer, then,” Severus raised his voice a little higher, for Albus was about to interrupt. “Then I beg you to leave- do not stay there because you feel I would want it, if you do watch me die, do it because you want to and not because that is what I expect of you, because all I want is for you and your family to be happy together, be the family I will think of when I die and the family I will watch over once I’ve gone. Do not fall apart because of me,” Severus finished, becoming a little emotional as he saw the looks on Ginny, Albus and James’ faces.  
“We won’t be the same Severus,” Ginny said, a tear falling down her cheek. “We will try our best to be happy, to support one another and get through this as a family, but you are our family too Severus and there will be something missing once you leave that no amount of support could ever heal. I’m sorry, Severus,” Ginny cried. “But I can only promise to do my best and to you, my best may not be good enough-”  
Severus pulled Ginny into a hug and said into her ear. “Your best is more than good enough. I just worry for you and your family, especially Lily and I am only requesting this of you because I want to know that you will be okay during and after this process. I just want to make sure that you will be there for each other, seeing as I can’t be.”  
“Okay, Severus,” Ginny whispered back. “I’ll try, but once you die and you watch us from wherever you may go, allow us to mourn for you because we’re going to miss you so much!” she cried into Severus’ ear and Severus hugged her tightly. “Just promise me you won’t do what I did.” Severus didn’t need to say anymore than that; Ginny understood what he meant.  
“I promise, Severus, I promise,” she whispered. Letting go, Ginny stood aside so that Albus could give Severus a quick hug, whilst James hugged his mother.  
“I’m going to miss you, Severus.”  
“But you have a family of your own now, you have a lot to keep you busy,” Severus said cheerfully. “We have hardly had the opportunity to see one another other of recent, I am sure you will not miss me too much,” Severus said smiling a little.   
Albus pulled away from Severus and stared into his eyes. “I will never forget the brilliant man after whom I was named, but that man is also my friend, a part of the family and I will always miss him.”  
“You have grown into an excellent man and I am glad your parents named you after me, you have done me proud, Albus. Take care of yourself,” Severus said, holding out his hand and shaking Al’s.  
“You’re not dying yet, Severus,” Albus pointed out in a joking manner.   
“I know, but now seemed like the right moment to say it.”  
Albus nodded and went to his mother, allowing James to step forward as the two men hugged briefly.  
“Look after them,” Severus said quietly, so that no one else could hear.  
“I will, but stay close to us; I don’t know how long my family can last without you around,” James said back and even though Severus could tell he was trying to make a joke, there was no denying that James meant every word.   
As Severus looked around the living room and the many people he cared about and even loved, he hoped that no matter what they go through, they will remember that he, Severus will always be with them.

“May I have a talk with you, Severus?” Harry asked, having finished comforting Lily, he now wished to talk to the man privately without his family around to hear.   
Severus nodded his head and together they walked into the kitchen.  
“You lied to me,” Harry said almost the moment they sat down at the table.  
Severus remained silent; he knew that Harry would eventually put two and two together.  
“Two years ago when you wished to resign from Headmaster, you did not hit your hand on the table,” Harry asserted firmly.  
“True,” Severus agreed, nodding his head.  
“You had a headache and perhaps it pained you severely at that moment which is why you winced.”  
“Yes, that is what happened.”  
“But if you really thought that these headaches were nothing serious, why did you allow a few headaches stop you from doing what you love?”  
Severus looked intently at Harry wondering if the man knew more than he was letting on.  
“I realised that I was getting old, Harry and decided that these headaches were a sign that I should resign.”  
“About how long did you have these headaches before you resigned?” Harry interrogated.  
Severus paused; he was sure Harry had worked it out.  
“A couple of weeks,” Severus replied quietly, turning away from Harry incase his eyes would betray his secret.  
“You knew, didn’t you?” Harry asked in both shock and disappointment.  
Severus nodded his head.  
“Why didn’t you tell us that you knew?”  
“There was no point in mentioning it any earlier than need be. I knew that Lily, Scorpius and Rose would figure it out-”  
“Had you told them earlier they could have done something!” Harry shouted, standing up and staring at Severus.  
Severus rose slowly and said as calmly as possible.  
“I know-”  
“Then why didn’t you?” Harry shot back.  
“Because if they could not have done something about it, then there would be a tremendous burden upon on your family- the anticipation- the-”  
“When will you ever stop thinking about others and think about yourself, Severus!”  
“Not for as long as I live, Harry,” Severus replied quietly. “I had not known for long and I believe that it would have been too late anyway, so I did not wish to burden-”  
“Burden? This is about your life Severus!”  
“Yes, but-”  
“How long have you known?”  
“I haven’t counted the years-”  
“It’s been years? If anyone has had the burden, it has been you, Severus!” Harry asserted, outraged. “Do you remember something that happened close to the time you found out?”  
Severus paused; he knew that what he was about to say would anger Harry even more, so after taking a deep breath, he replied:  
“Do you remember when you invited me to dinner many years ago when I informed you that I would arrive at 7pm instead of 6pm because I needed to do something else first?”  
“Yes,” Harry said through gritted teeth; if Severus had known for that long…  
“My mother had died the day before, I was going to her funeral and I knew I wouldn’t be back til late. I had no idea that my mother was ill, but after talking to a few of her acquaintances, I eventually found her Healer at St. Mungos who told me what she had and warned me that in many years to come I too may be diagnosed with the same illness.”  
Harry was staring at Severus; anger, sadness and disappointment flooding through him.  
“You never told us your mother died.”  
“In case you have forgotten Harry, when I arrived at Grimmauld Place, I found myself already there! I figured that the fact that Greyback was in your living room was much more important than the death of my mother who I had not seen in years.”  
“After it had happened then, even if it were a week later, you should have told us!”  
“I had pushed it out of my mind- I did not want to focus on the negative when I realised that I was being accepted by your family.”  
“We would have wanted to know!”  
“I know,” Severus said nodding, “and I am sorry for not telling you, Harry, but I am   
now-”  
“At least one hundred years too late!” Harry cut in.  
“What happened in the past is not going to change the present, Harry. The fact is that I have this disease and even though I should have told you about it years ago when something could have been done, I didn’t and we must accept that-”  
“Then we need to tell the family-”  
“No!” Severus said, now standing up. “You will not tell them, especially Lily.”  
“Why not?” Harry fired back.   
“Just- please, don’t…” Severus mumbled, looking away from Harry.  
“So you are asking me to be burdened with the fact that you have known of your death sentence for years- you are asking me to keep it a secret, to not tell anyone of the pain you must have suffered?” Harry demanded.  
“I have not suffered nearly as much pain as you are going to suffer and I forbid you to tell anyone in your family about this- the idea- the possibility that all of this could have been prevented causes me enough pain as it is, and I do not want you adding to it by telling others that had I been more diligent, they would not be about to spend year after year sitting next to the bed of a brain dead, thoughtless, useless pile of shit!” yelled Severus.  
Harry paused, looking deeply into Severus’ eyes and saw the pain clearly reflected out of them.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus,” Harry whispered, realising that enough was enough. “I really wish you told me, it is not good to keep things like that to yourself, but as you have said, that was in the past. We will suffer Severus, as will you,” Harry agreed. “And we will miss you deeply and watching you slowly deteriorate will probably be the most traumatic and emotional experience of my life, but nevertheless, we will always be there for you,” Harry said as he hugged Severus and a tear rolled down the latter’s face.  
“I am sorry,” Severus whispered, apologizing for not telling Harry sooner, apologizing for the pain they were all about to experience…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

16 months later

“Michael! I’m just flooing over to Severus’ for a moment, I won’t be long okay?” Lily called up the stairs to her husband who was getting dressed for work.  
“No problem!” he called back.  
Picking up a handful of Floo Powder, Lily stood in the fire place (which had been connected by the ministry to Severus’ house since the original diagnosis) and said in a clear voice: “Spinner’s End.”  
After enduring seconds of turning and sliding and the warm flames of the fire places she passed, Lily eventually landed on the floor at Severus’ house.  
“Severus?” Lily called, walking into the living room, wondering where to first search for the man.   
“Good morning, Lily,” Severus said, walking out of his kitchen, eating some toast. “Coming to check up on me again?”  
“As I have been for the last year or so,” Lily said, smiling and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “How are you feeling?”  
“The same as always, nothing’s changed since yesterday,” Severus pointed out.   
Lily smiled; as much as she would like to hope that changes cannot happen over night, she knew, in the medical world, in the human body, changes can and do happen in a matter of hours.  
“Have you any plans for today?” Lily asked, making purposeful conversation as she always did on every visit.  
“Not particularly, now that Harry has gone back to Hogwarts there is hardly any point in me going to Grimmauld Place anymore, except to keep your mother company, I suppose. Perhaps she would want a visitor?”  
“I’m sure she would love that,” Lily said, “she does get a little lonely now that all us kids have moved out and Dad is at Hogwarts, but she does try to keep herself occupied.”  
“Perhaps she and I could go to Hogwarts and visit Harry and his great great grand children. Can you imagine what would happen when Ginny and I Apparate into the Great Hall; the look on your father’s face would be priceless!” Severus said excitedly, an abnormal change in his tone.   
Lily was watching Severus closely and didn’t reply.  
“What?” Severus said, noticing the way Lily was looking at him.  
“Were you being serious just then?” she asked suspiciously.  
“No, I would have hated it if someone arrived at the school unannounced, especially when I was Headmaster. But if we had Harry’s permission and if your mother was willing…” Severus faltered under the look Lily was giving him.  
“What?” Severus asked calmly. “Are you feeling well?” he asked, concerned for her health.  
“You cannot Apparate into Hogwarts, Severus,” she said quietly.  
Severus paused for a moment.  
“I know, but it was hypothetical, after all it would be greatly amusing if we could Apparate inside of Hogwarts and surprise-”  
“It was not hypothetical, Severus; when I clarified with you, you said it could be done with my parents’ permission.”  
“No, you are wrong; I was simply implying that if we could Apparate into Hogwarts, it would be a huge shock for your father-”  
“That is not what you said-”  
“That’s what I am saying now!” Severus yelled, clearly angry at being contradicted.  
Lily changed her tact.  
“Severus, do you really want to go to Hogwarts and surprise Harry and all the students?” she asked excitedly, as if she were a little girl, preparing for a thrilling adventure.  
“Most definitely; are you thinking of coming with me?” But then Severus looked concerned: “Could you take the day off?”  
Lily felt the blood drain from her face. Getting up out of her seat, she walked towards Severus and kneeled down in front of him, so that she was looking up at him.  
“Severus, you are not thinking rationally.”  
“Yes I am; what was so irrational about going to Hogwarts?” Severus replied as if Lily were a student of whom he was teaching.  
“This is not something you decide to do any day you choose, Severus. Dad would have to organize the school, make sure there were no exams on, that the staff and students were accepting of the interruption. There is much organizing involved and as you pointed out, Dad would need to be informed well in advanced.”  
“I didn’t mean we were going today,” Severus said, sighing a little as if Lily just wasn’t understanding him.   
“That is not what you said-”  
“Don’t you think I would remember what I did and did not say?” Severus snapped at Lily, who moved away slightly incase he became aggressive.  
“Severus,” Lily began, holding his hands and staring into his eyes. “You need to come with me.”  
“Where are we going?” Severus asked, though he was getting up from his chair all the same as if eager to follow her.  
“To visit my mother,” Lily answered, hating herself for lying to him, but knowing that if Severus knew the truth, he would not be cooperative.  
“Do you think she would want to visit Hogwarts to see Harry?”  
“Possibly,” Lily answered, but only half heartedly as she led Severus out of his front door, locked it and put a few protective spells around it. Walking onto the sidewalk, Lily grabbed hold of Severus’ hand and before the man even knew what was happening, the pair of them were headed to the mall where the entry to St. Mungos was located.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“I thought we were going to Grimmauld Place,” Severus said, looking suspiciously at Lily when they arrived at the mall.  
“We are, but I need to do something here first,” Lily replied, trying to sound as authentic as possible.  
For some reason, Severus did not question this and followed Lily into the glass to only arrive a second later in the foyer of St. Mungos.  
“Come with me, Severus,” Lily said, holding Severus’ hand and taking him to the room that he was assigned the last time he was admitted into the hospital. Finding the room and checking that it was empty and clean by whispering quickly to a nurse nearby, she took Severus into it and closed the door behind them.  
“What are we doing here?” Severus asked, as if he now realised that Lily was not being entirely truthful with him.  
“Severus, you are not well,” Lily began, but was quickly interrupted by Severus.  
“There is nothing wrong with me! Wanting to go to Hogwarts is not a sign of insanity, Lily!” Severus yelled, but Lily maintained her ground.  
“You are not insane, Severus, I never said you were, I am merely saying that you are beginning to experience other symptoms of your illness and if you remember, you agreed to come in to St. Mungos once new symptoms began to present themselves-”  
“And I will keep my word when I am actually sick! You cannot determine my mental sanity from one conversation- I made a mistake, it happens!”  
“Severus, listen to me,” Lily interrupted, tears forming in her eyes, hating it how Severus was so angry with her. “You have never made a mistake like this before- you worked at Hogwarts for so many years and if you were one hundred percent healthy, you would not have made the statement that you could Apparate into Hogwarts-”  
“It was hypothetical!”  
“Severus, please!” Lily cried. “You then talked about visiting Hogwarts when you know very well that under few circumstances would that be allowed and your hastiness and lack of rational thought in that matter led me to believe that-”  
“I’m insane?” Severus finished for her, looking livid.  
“No! No, Severus, please, please don’t get angry, please calm down for me, okay? You are not insane, you are showing symptoms of the disease and although you do not realise it, it is affecting your thoughts. The deterioration of your brain has begun and you know that you need to be here where we can look out for you-”  
“I’m not useless!”  
“I know, Sev- I know, please don’t yell,” Lily pleaded, tears falling down her face. “You are still able to function properly and you could live by yourself, but because this illness progresses very fast once it starts, we need to monitor your health and make sure you are okay- that everything is going according to plan.”  
“My death you mean?” Severus snapped back.  
“NO! Severus, no!” Lily sobbed. “Please, please don’t do this. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry this is happening to you, but please I wouldn’t keep you here unless I knew I had to and I must, as your Healer, it is my responsibility to keep you here until you are better-”  
“You know as well as I that that is never going to happen!” Severus yelled, the vein in his temple pulsating. “You’ve brought me here, you lied to me and now you are going to keep me here for the rest of my life- take joy in watching me die!”  
“No, Severus, no,” Lily sobbed, trying to approach Severus, who pushed her away. Lily whipped out her wand and tried to produce her Patronus, but she couldn’t, only silver vapour flew in front of her and she cried still harder; she needed help.  
“How can you expect me to trust you when you lie to me? Pretend to take me to your mother’s when you were in reality bringing me here? And who were you trying to communicate with? Not that it matters seeing as you are not strong enough to produce a Patronus. See what guilt can do to you?” Severus exclaimed, staring avidly at Lily, who could hardly see through her tears.  
“This is not you, Severus-”  
“Has someone come and possessed me then? Because I am reasonably sure that I am the one talking- I know what I’m saying-”  
“Yes, but you have no control over it- you’re saying things you don’t mean-”  
“I mean every word I am saying to you, Lily even if you are not willing to hear it,” Severus hissed.  
“No, you’re not well, Severus; I brought you here to keep you safe- to keep you as comfortable as possible-”  
“Oh and what a great job you are doing,” Severus snapped sarcastically.  
“Please, please cooperate with me; I need you to get in to bed so I can perform a screening of your brain-”  
“Which is clearly damaged, so I do not know why you bother!”  
“Severus, as your Healer, please do as I ask; I know it is hard for you to accept, but you need to confront the fact that you are here and you will not be permitted to leave-”  
“Really?” Severus asked, looking slightly amused as he brought out his wand from his robes.  
“No, Severus, wait- please calm down,” Lily said, holding out her arms in a form of cautioned surrender. “Put down your wand.”  
“Not until you let me out-”  
“I can’t, Severus, I can’t, I really wish I could, but I can’t,” Lily cried. “Please, I am not going to hurt you, I just need you to relax and calm down for me-”  
“Because you are setting a great example,” Severus cut back with sharp sarcasm.  
“I know, I’m sorry, but you’re wand is pointing at me and it is very hard to be calm-”  
“And being stuck in a room in St. Mungos makes calming down easy?” Severus fired back.  
But suddenly, Severus’ thoughts were flowing out of his mouth and he had no control over it.   
“Severus, do you remember me? Do you know who I am? Please, don’t let this disease take you over just yet- focus on me and who I am and what I mean to you. I love you, Severus and I would never hurt you and I only brought you here to keep you safe, because I care about you.”  
Severus paused for a moment, staring at Lily as if wondering whether or not to believe her. In the moment’s silence, Lily quickly raised her wand and managed to produce her Patronus in order to send a message to Scorpius, she could communicate with her other family members later.  
“Who did you just send for?” Severus asked, snapping out of his reverie.  
“Scorpius,” Lily replied cautiously, moving slowly towards Severus, testing the water.  
“I see and what exactly is he going to do?”  
“Scorpius will take a scan of your brain and examine it so we know where the disease has progressed.”  
Severus didn’t reply, but he seemed to be calming down and Lily was relieved beyond expression. After a while, Lily suggested:  
“Would you like to get into bed?”  
“Like a sick, pathetic child? I think not,” Severus answered aggressively.  
Lily decided not to push the point and wait until Scorpius arrived.  
After ten minutes of waiting, there was a knock on the door and Lily opened it to find Rose and Scorpius standing there. They walked in and closed the door quietly behind them and then they and Lily turned around to look at Severus.  
“There is no need to stare at me like I am some disobedient child that has done something wrong.”   
Rose and Scorpius turned to look at Lily, who confirmed that this is what he had been like since he entered the room.  
“I am right here you know? I can see what you are doing. Talk to me!” Severus demanded.  
“Please lie down for us, Severus,” Scorpius said, walking over to the bed, pulling out his wand.  
“Is that all you can say to me? Let’s forget for a moment that you care about me and let’s play doctors for a while? Who cares about Severus’ feelings; he’ll be fine once we take a scan of his demented brain and then give him medication for the rest of the day!” Severus spat, angry tears in his eyes.  
Lily sobbed a little. Severus didn’t pay attention to her, but Rose moved over to comfort her cousin whilst Scorpius continued.  
“I am truly sorry Severus,” Scorpius said with great sincerity. “But it is our responsibility as Healers to do the required tests to ensure your health.”  
“But what about your responsibility as human beings?” Severus snapped back.  
“Severus, please, we all care about you, we truly do, but you need to relax and lie down so Scorpius can screen your brain and then we can talk as much as you wish-” Rose said.  
“Please do not make this any harder than it has to be, Severus,” Scorpius said quietly.  
“Oh, I’m sorry is this difficult for you?” Severus asked, pointing his wand at Scorpius.  
“Expelliarmus!” Scorpius yelled, so fast that Lily didn’t have the chance to react to Severus’ obvious attempt at violence. Scorpius caught Severus’ wand, though he didn’t look smug about it, on the contrary, he looked fearful.  
“Give my wand back now!” Severus said through gritted teeth.  
“I will once you lie down for me please,” Scorpius asserted, moving towards Severus to help him lie down.  
“Get off me!” Severus yelled pushing Scorpius away.  
“If you do not cooperate, we will call other Healers in to help us.”  
“Oh I am really afraid now. A whole bunch of Healers, how will I survive? I would think that after being in the Dark Lord’s presence for so many years, nothing would scare me anymore,” Severus replied sneering and the look he gave scared Lily more than anything else.  
“Will you two help me here?” Scorpius asked, turning around to look at his wife and Lily. The two women nodded as they walked towards Scorpius and Severus. Without a wand, Severus was completely defenseless and yet, the three of them knew that Severus would probably use any means of preventing himself from being lowered on to the bed. Rose, Scorpius and Lily did not have a plan, their aim was to calm Severus down and get him into bed but without any form of remedy to help them (for fear of messing up the scans), this was no easy feat.  
If an outsider were watching the following scene, it would be quite a sight; three Healers were wrestling with their patient to hold him down whilst thinking of some way to verbally convince him to remain still. It was surprising to all three of them that Severus was actually very strong and managed to force his weight against them for a few moments as they tried to push him down. Eventually, his stomach muscles gave way however and Severus collapsed onto the bed, breathing heavily and the Malfoys and Lily took the opportunity to restrain him.  
“Get off me!” Severus yelled through heaving breaths as he tried to push Lily off his chest.  
“Severus, please calm down, please,” Lily begged, never once taking her eyes off Severus. “We cannot take the scan whilst you are moving. The sooner you stop moving, the sooner Scorpius will have finished the scan and then you can argue and yell and move as much as you want.”  
“No, the reality is you want the scan to be taken so you can force drugs down my throat to prevent me from moving or talking at all, because I am causing you such a problem!” Severus spat back. Lily realised that the damage to Severus’ frontal lobe had not yet completely depleted the area for reasoning, for it was clear that Severus was sometimes able to reason effectively, as if the ability to reason was available to Severus at random. But this insight also allowed Lily to realise more fully than anything else, that if Severus was only occasionally able to reason, that means he would only sometimes understand reasoning. This meant that in order for Severus to calm down, something more than arguing or reasonable debate would need to be used.  
“Severus, look at me,” Lily whispered, taking everyone by surprise and Rose and Scorpius knew better than to speak as Lily continued. “Look deep into my eyes. Keep looking at me and whilst you are looking, I am going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it as best you can.”  
Severus nodded, staring transfixed into Lily’s eyes. Scorpius and Rose watched in silence, amazed at what Lily was doing or at least, trying to do.  
“Do I want to hurt you?” Lily asked with great gentleness and concern in her eyes. Severus tried to look over at Rose who was standing just behind Lily, but Lily distracted him:  
“Look at me Severus.”  
Severus averted his eyes back to Lily’s and paused before answering.  
“No,” he said, continuing to look at Lily.  
“Do I dislike you?” Lily continued with great kindness.  
Again Severus paused before answering, clearly thinking about his answer.  
“No,” he replied again.  
“How do I feel about you?” Lily asked once more, rubbing Severus’ arm gently with her hand.   
Lily saw Severus’ eyes flicker for a moment towards Lily’s comforting arm, before turning back to Lily’s eyes.  
“I mean a lot to you- you care about me…” Severus replied slowly, as if scrutinizing the emotion in Lily’s eyes.  
“I do,” Lily agreed as tears began to fall silently down her cheeks. “Would I ever hurt you?”  
Severus shook his head. “You would not hurt me.”  
“Why?” Lily asked, almost sobbing at the great sincerity in Severus’ voice.  
“Because you love me,” Severus whispered, sounding half confused, half enlightened by this discovery as if staring into Lily’s eyes gave him sacred, meaningful information.  
“That’s right,” Lily said nodding, tears falling rapidly down her face as she too collapsed on top of Severus’ chest, hugging him tightly to her as she wept quietly on his shoulder.   
Rose and Scorpius were gob smacked as they stared at the pair on the bed, completely at a loss as to how Lily knew that strategy would work.  
“Thank you,” Lily whispered more to some form of god or heaven rather than Severus. “Thank you, thank you,” Lily whispered some more as she felt Severus breathing gently against her. After a moment, once getting over the initial shock that Severus had stopped fighting her, Lily stopped sobbing and controlling her breathing she uttered what she had been thinking since she had brought Severus to St. Mungos.  
“Never ever forget what you mean to me Severus; no matter what happens, I want what is best for you,” she whispered in his ear.  
“I know,” Severus whispered back, emotion finally starting to seep into his tone. “But I’m scared…”  
Lily grabbed hold of Severus’ hand and squeezed it tightly.   
“I am too- it’s okay to be scared, but me and Rose and Scorpius- we want to look after you, we know it will be hard, but try to trust us okay?” Lily asked, removing herself from Severus’ body and looking into his eyes.  
Severus nodded and Lily smiled sadly as she stood up to be faced with two very shocked faces.  
Without uttering a word, Scorpius took out his wand and performed the screening over Severus’ head which was now perfectly still.  
“Finished,” Scorpius said, lowering his wand. “I will be back soon,” he added, turning around and leaving the room quietly. Rose walked towards Lily and whispered in her ear:  
“I will inform the family.”  
Lily nodded her consent and Rose followed her husband out of the room.  
“Are you in any pain?” Lily asked Severus, resuming the rubbing of his arm.  
Severus shook his head.  
“Are you okay?” Lily continued, hoping for some sort of verbal response from Severus.  
Severus nodded.  
“Talk to me,” Lily said, looking eagerly at Severus, rubbing his arm once again.  
“I am afraid,” Severus began, looking at the ground. “Since you told me about this disease I always said to myself, ‘at least I have a couple of years before it starts to affect me,’ and now that it has, I know this long and painful experience will begin and I have no control over it- I cannot stop it from happening. I am not worried about myself,” Severus added, emphasising this fact even more. “But for you and your family it has already started and if I had the choice, I would die at this very moment so as to prevent you from years of suffering as you watch me deteriorate. I worry- I am afraid of what will happen to you and your family, because now that I am ill I will not be able to comfort you- help you- let you know that I am well because soon I will not be able to speak and soon after that I will have minimal memory. But I do not want to die- go to wherever it is that I would go- look down upon you and your family and realise that I have done permanent damage- that you thought I did not love you or that I meant every terrible thing I said, when in retrospect I cannot even remember saying it.”  
Lily was speechless; as she listened to Severus she began to truly realise how hard this process was going to be and although she was more afraid for Severus’ health than her own, in the end, however traumatic it will be, it will be her and her family that live through it and what would happen if they fell apart?  
As if going on a different mental tangent, Severus said suddenly.  
“Did I hurt you?”  
“When?” Lily asked quietly, surprised by the sudden change in topic.  
“Today.”  
Lily paused and looked over her body briefly.  
“I don’t believe so; I can’t feel any bruises.”  
“Did I hurt you?” Severus asked again with a certain emphasis and a piercing stare.  
Lily knew what Severus was implying; physical injury was not on the man’s mind. Nevertheless, Lily could not bring herself to admit it.  
“No, it was not your fault-”  
“Did I hurt you?” Severus asked yet again, raising his voice as if he knew the answer, but simply wanted to hear it from Lily’s mouth.  
Lily paused, looking back into the black pained eyes and whispered. “Yes.”  
Severus looked as though he were about to hit something; the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Lily physically or emotionally. Severus forced himself not to lash out and decided to talk instead.  
“I had no control over what I said- I did not want to be here- I wanted to leave- I was afraid of what this meant for me and for you,” Severus asserted as if pleading with Lily to forgive him.  
“It’s okay, Severus, I understand,” Lily reassured him.  
“Promise me something,” Severus continued, putting his hand on top of Lily’s which was still rubbing his arm.   
“Anything,” Lily whispered.  
“That no matter what I do or what I say from here on in, you will always remember, however hard it is to do so, that I never want to hurt you and if I do, which I am bound to do many times throughout this process, please try to forgive me and know that if I could control my behaviour, my words, my emotions I would not be doing this to you- I wish I could comfort you instead of being the one causing the pain in the first place- just know Lily, know that I would wish for anything but this and promise me that you will never forget that I love you and your family-”  
“We love you too, Severus,” Lily replied, tears in her eyes from Severus’ intense sincerity and fear. “And I promise,” she whispered.  
Severus pulled Lily into a hug and whispered: “Please stay close to me.”  
Lily nodded her head, wanting Severus to know for certain that she would be near him the entire time even if he wasn’t aware of it- even if he didn’t want her there, she will be…

After a few minutes of silence, Severus gently pushed Lily off him and said:  
“My things are at home, am I permitted to get them?”  
“I’m sorry Severus, once admitted you are not permitted to leave the hospital. But I will get them for you. Is there anything special you need?” Lily answered, withdrawing a pen and paper to make a list. Once Severus had told her everything he wanted her to bring for him, she asked one more time if he was in pain and after hearing a ‘no’, she left the room asserting that Rose and Scorpius should be back soon.

After fifteen minutes of waiting, without anyone dropping in to visit him, Severus tried his best to fall asleep, but as he made this attempt, he gasped in pain as a severe headache arose suddenly. Severus slowly lay down on his bed, holding his palms to his forehead, trying to relax and block out the pain. Not even thirty seconds passed, before Severus rose out of bed and in desperation for a pain remedy like he had upon his first visit to St. Mungos, he started searching the drawers and cupboards in his room even though he knew that no hospital would keep such things in there. After searching the last cupboard, Severus looked up to find Albus and James standing near the doorway, he hadn’t heard them come in.  
“What are you doing, Severus?” Albus asked, walking closer to the man, who backed away and lay back down on his bed again.  
“I need some pain remedy,” Severus replied. “Could you please find Rose or Scorpius for me?”  
“No,” James said, standing next to his brother and then turning to Albus, James said as if Severus were not there. “This must mean Severus is still alive.”  
“Great,” Al replied sounding disappointed. “That means we are going to have to spend another ten years of our life waiting for him to die.”  
“It was so boring; he was not even able to speak or move, so what’s the point in being with him anyway?”  
“Beats me, but Lily insisted that we stay. I do not see why she feels she needs to; Severus would never know- it’s just a such a waste of time,” Albus moaned.  
“I know what you mean; couldn’t they just kill him? It would do all of us a favour and then Lily would stop insisting that we stay here with him- watching him die- it’s just pathetic.”  
“I agree,” Albus said, nodding his head and then as if on cue, Harry, Lily and Ginny walked into the room.  
“Have you heard? Severus is still alive,” Lily said, sounding a little disappointed.  
“What is this Lily? You actually sound unhappy about it,” James said, looking shocked.  
“Well I was hoping that he would be dead by now; it seems to be taking much longer than I thought it would.”  
“It has been ten years,” Ginny pointed out.  
“Exactly! Shouldn’t his brain be completely destroyed by now?” James asked.  
“I suppose,” Lily said nodding. “But Severus seems to be holding on-”  
“I wish he would let go,” James cut in. “Then we can get on with our lives.”

Lily had just arrived back at the Entrance of St. Mungos where she saw her family, Ron and Hermione up ahead.  
“Dad!” Lily called, causing all of them to turn.  
“Lily!” Dad called back, giving his daughter a hug. “What are you doing?”  
“I needed to go to Severus’ place and get his things for him. I guess I should take you to his room,” Lily said, leading the way through the glass. Once they arrived on the other side they began walking down the corridor in the direction of Severus.  
“How has it been going so far?” Ginny asked.   
“Not too well, it took a while for myself, Rose and Scorpius to calm Severus down, but he is much better now,” Lily said in a positive tone as they rounded the corner and immediately heard shouting.

“If I were to be honest, I would have preferred to never have befriended Severus if that meant I could have escaped this dreary torture,” Harry said to his family who nodded in agreement.  
“You didn’t have to stay!” Severus yelled, speaking for the first time since the Boggart appeared. “I told you- I told Lily that you did not need to stay!” He cried, his head pounding in pain.  
“You never told us that,” James said to Lily, looking angry.   
“Well I didn’t want to be stuck with him all that time!”  
“So you subjected us to this torture? You forced us to stay here with you because you were too pathetic to watch him on your own? It’s not that hard, he’s basically dead anyway!” Albus added, looking furious.  
“I didn’t want to be alone-”  
“So you thought you would subject us all to boredom?” Albus fired back.  
“Are you telling me that I have spent the last ten years at this man’s bedside when he didn’t even want me here?” Harry demanded of his daughter.  
“Yes, I do!” Severus yelled back, but the Boggart was ignoring him.  
“He is still alive,” Ginny said, looking clearly at Severus. “We have wasted enough time waiting here for him to die, Lily. You can stay here by yourself and when you figure out a way of bringing back the last ten years, let us know,” Ginny asserted, grabbing hold of Harry’s hand and together James, Albus and their parents walked into nothingness, leaving Lily crying. At this moment, the real Lily, her family, Hermione and Ron knocked on the door; although they had heard everything Severus and the boggart said, they felt that now was the time to enter.  
It seemed that Severus did not hear the knock, so Lily cautiously opened the door and stood aside so everyone could walk past. Once they were all in the room, Lily noticed that her Boggart self was still there.  
“I should never have volunteered to care for you! Now look what you have done, Severus! My family hate me and it is all your fault! I wish I never knew you- you have made me lose everything I care about! My family- my time! You weren’t worth that!” she screamed at Severus who was holding his head, tears pouring down his face.   
Lily walked towards her Boggart self which changed immediately into a dead Harry, which then changed into a dead Ginny…  
“Riddikulus!” Lily cried, then laughed a little so as to cause the Boggart to disappear.  
She then turned to Severus who was looking at all of them in disbelief, confusion and anger. Subconsciously, he lifted his hand to rub at his forehead again, despite what had just happened, his headache was still immensely painful.  
“Are you in pain, Severus?” Lily asked, walking closer to the man, who looked up suddenly and said:  
“Stay away from me.”  
Lily paused before answering.  
“Severus, it was a Boggart-”  
“I told you that they didn’t have to stay! If your family found it so boring and tedious I told you not to force them to stay!” Severus screamed, making his head pound evermore on his skull.  
“Severus, it was a Boggart- it wasn’t real!” Lily insisted. “Please, please listen to me, we want to be here and none of us find it boring at all,” she continued as her family, Ron and Hermione nodded behind her. “Please let me give you some pain remedy-”  
But Severus was not listening to her anymore and turning to James he said:  
“I thought you were going to look after them!”  
“I- Severus, I will-”  
“Then what was that? They left Lily by herself- you cannot abandon her like that!”  
“I would never do that, Severus! It was a Boggart you saw, it was not reality-”  
“And you!” Severus said, turning to Albus. “I take back what I said, you have not done me proud- if you had any decency, you would not have said those things to my face!”  
“Severus, I would never ever utter those words. None of us would be that cruel, we want to be here and we will be until the very end,” Albus insisted.  
“That does not make up for what you said to James not long ago and you know what? I wish I never knew any of you either, it would have made this process so much easier!” Severus yelled aggressively, looking between the Potters.  
“It was a Boggart, Severus!” cried Ginny. “We did not say any of the things you heard; we would never say something like that- we love you too much!”  
“Those are empty words, Ginny, I know that the moment I am unable to remember anything, you will begin to wish you were some place else- I don’t want to waste your precious time so go! Leave! I don’t care!” Severus screamed, his voice cracking as he did so.   
“Please, Severus,” Lily said, walking forwards, tears pouring down her cheeks. “Let me give you some pain remedy.”  
“I am not taking anything from you! You betrayed my trust! You kept them all here and now they hate me!” Severus yelled, both anger and sadness dwelling in his eyes.  
“Severus, we don’t hate you,” Harry said, joining his daughter. “You mean everything to us-”  
“Don’t lie to me,” Severus hissed back.  
“We aren’t lying,” Harry said, grabbing Severus’ wrist and looking him in the eye. “We value your friendship more than we can ever say and we will always be here with you; it will not be a waste of our time; we want to spend as long as we can with you before you die even if you are not capable of speaking or even moving. We want to be here,” Harry insisted.  
Severus wrenched his wrist from Harry’s grip and shoved Lily’s arm away as she was trying to feed Severus’ the remedy by means of her wand.  
“Get out,” Severus said dangerously, looking at Harry and Lily, holding his head as he did so; the pain was getting worse.

“Oh great, everyone is here,” Rose said happily as she walked through the door, Scorpius following behind her, closing the door behind them. “What is-” But Rose ceased talking when she saw the looks on everyone’s face. “What happened?” she asked, her tone becoming one of concern.  
“Severus are you okay?” Scorpius asked, rushing to the man who was clearly in severe pain. “Have you given him a remedy?” he asked Lily.  
“Not yet-”  
“You didn’t give him one after he calmed down?” Scorpius asked.  
“No, he was not in pain at the time-”  
“You should have given it to him so that this would have been prevented!” Scorpius shot back and Lily backed away looking thoroughly upset.  
“But he wasn’t in pain, I didn’t want to give him medication unless he needed it-”  
“He must have been in pain for some time,” Scorpius interrupted, using his wand over Severus’ brain. “Where did you go?”  
“I went to get his things-” Lily whispered.  
“You should have asked a nurse, Lily- you should not have left him-”  
“I know!” Lily cried. “I’m sorry!”  
Scorpius summoned a pain remedy to him and made to give it to Severus who looked at him momentarily and then willingly opened his mouth.  
Lily’s jaw dropped. “He didn’t take the remedy from me- I tried to give it to him-”  
“It would have been because of the Boggart, Lily, he still believes that it was reality,” Harry asserted.  
“There was a Boggart in here?” Scorpius asked, looking between Lily and Harry.  
Lily nodded at the ground.  
“Don’t people clean in here anymore?” Scorpius asked no one in particular, but was clearly outraged. “What was his Boggart?”  
“It was not a Boggart,” Severus said, now that the remedy was taking effect, he was more willing to speak. “The five of them,” he said, pointing at the Potters, “were wishing that I were dead so that they could move on with their lives because it was so boring sitting next to someone who was as good as dead, who it turns out, they would have preferred not to have known and Lily,” Severus said, looking directly into Lily’s eyes. “Told them they had to stay when I told her months ago that they didn’t have to-”  
“I never betrayed you, Severus!” cried Lily.  
“Do not lie to me!” Severus screamed, making to get out of bed, but Scorpius held him down. “You promised me- I thought you cared about me-”  
“I do Severus, I do,” she sobbed, but Severus just looked at her as if her sobbing were pathetic.  
Of course, Scorpius knew that the Potters would never say or think anything of the sort and realised that due to Severus’ slow deterioration of his rationality, he was unable to justify the difference between his worst fear and reality.  
“GET OUT!” Severus screamed. “I never want to see any of you again!” he shouted, looking at Ginny, Harry, James, Lily and Albus. “You don’t want to be here so I give you my blessing to leave me alone! Enjoy your life- don’t waste it in here with me!”  
“No, Severus, please that is not what we-”  
“Lily, you need to go,” Scorpius said delicately. Lily looked up in horror; she could feel her tears cascading down her cheeks.  
“Scorpius-”  
“Severus needs to relax and that will not happen whilst you and your family are here,” Scorpius said in a quiet tone.  
“I want to help,” Lily whispered back.  
“You have done enough, Lily. It is clear that although you are an experienced Healer, when it comes to Severus, you cannot remain objective: he is first and foremost your patient-”  
“No! He is my friend of whom I care about so much that I-”  
“Exactly, Lily,” Scorpius said in a harsher tone. “You failed to give him routine medication and you left him alone for a short while and consequently, look what has happened!” Scorpius asserted, gesturing to Severus who had not stopped staring angrily at Lily. “You need to leave so we can calm him down and then later, hopefully you will be able to straighten out what happened with the Boggart.”  
“And what if I can’t? What if he doesn’t listen?”  
“Well…”  
“You will think I deserve it because I didn’t take the necessary precautions?” Lily fired back, not even allowing Scorpius to answer.  
“What has happened is very unfortunate, Lily and although it is not entirely your fault-”  
“So it is partially my fault-”  
“You betrayed your role of Duty of Care-”  
“You think I don’t CARE for him?” Lily asked hysterically.  
“Of course you do, but as a Healer, we are expected, as you know very well, to care for our patients. Whatever love we may feel for them must come second!”  
Lily didn’t answer and stared at Scorpius, tears continuing to escape her eyes, her breathing short and quick. She looked down at Severus who still looked furious at her and when their eyes met, Severus said in an angry hiss:  
“I don’t want you here. Do as Scorpius said and get out.”  
Rose was looking down at the ground; she did not want to take sides in this matter.  
Eventually Lily said: “I am not leaving- not until he knows how I feel-”  
“Lily, listen to me,” Scorpius said, reaching across Severus’ bed and holding onto Lily’s arms. “Severus is not well, you know that and I know that. You know why he reacted in this manner towards the Boggart and you also know deep inside that no matter how long you stay here, he is never going to know how you feel until he has recovered from his most recent headache. Until he has had some rest, you know that he will not accept your feelings.”  
“But I want him to know that I love him,” Lily whispered, in between sobs.   
“Lily, he knows you do, beneath the apparent hatred, the yelling and the anger, he knows you love him, but for him to realise this, you must leave him alone for a while,” Scorpius said gently, moving around to Lily’s side of the bed and taking her hand. “I will look after Severus for you, I promise,” Scorpius said so that only Lily could here as he led her slowly to the door.  
“I’m sorry,” she cried, however quietly.  
“I know and it is okay; I too, apologise for yelling at you. Please leave for a while, I promise to contact you when he has calmed down.”  
Harry, Ginny, Al and James followed Scorpius and Lily to the door and once there, Lily turned around, feeling like she needed to say one more thing to Severus, she asserted tearfully:  
“I will never hurt you Severus, please don’t forget that.”  
“You have hurt me Lily and I will never forgive you, now leave like I have told you   
to-” Severus snapped.  
“We don’t wish to go-”  
“Then I’ll make you!” Severus screamed and made to get out of bed. Rose was fast and put most of her weight on Severus’ torso to stop him from moving, but he seemed to determined to reach them.  
“Mum! Dad!” Rose said as Hermione and Ron looked at their daughter with fear and uncertainty. “Help me!” she insisted and slowly, but surely, Hermione and Ron helped Rose restrain a very angry, upset and hurt Severus. Lily was pushing against Scorpius, her body language suggesting that she wanted to stay, but Scorpius grabbed a hold of her and pushed her backwards, away from the still yelling Severus.   
“No, I want to stay! Please don’t make me leave him when he is like this!”  
“We have no choice, Lily,” Scorpius replied through gritted teeth as he continued to push Lily and her family through the door. “He will not improve whilst he thinks he is surrounded by people who despise him and betrayed him.”  
“But we didn’t,” Lily insisted, crying hysterically.  
“I know that, Lily, I know,” Scorpius reassured her, looking her in the eye. “But Severus doesn’t and until he is in the right state of mind, you cannot come back in.”  
“But I am his Healer!”  
“You are one of his Healers, Lily. Rose and I will look after him. You need to be with your family because unfortunately, it is not going to get much easier than this,” Scorpius said looking sympathetically between the Potters.   
“Look after him,” Lily called out as Scorpius closed the door on them.  
“Not that you care!” Severus screamed so that Lily, her family and half the hospital probably heard.  
Lily couldn’t stop herself, she made to open the door again, but Scorpius had locked them out. Bashing on the door, Lily was crying, attracting a lot of attention from fellow workers and patients, but she didn’t care.  
“Let me in! I care Severus, I care! Do you hear me? I want you to get better- I care about you more than I can ever say!”  
“Oh shut up!” Severus yelled.  
“No! Severus!” Lily screamed, pounding her fists on the door.  
Finally the door opened, and Ron poked his head through the gap; he and Hermione hadn’t said a word since Lily met up with them outside St. Mungos.  
“Stop,” Ron said firmly, holding onto Lily’s pounding arm. “He will be okay, Lily, but you are not making it any better by bashing on the door.”  
But Lily was now sobbing and didn’t answer: she didn’t know what to do about Severus- about the situation- what was she supposed to do?  
“Are you and Hermione going to stay and help?” Harry asked his best friend.  
Ron nodded.  
“Is everything okay in there?” Ginny whispered, so that Lily couldn’t hear over her sobbing.   
“Severus is furious; he is still under the impression that you all hate him, but Scorpius and Rose both believe that he will improve after some rest.”  
“You are so lucky,” Lily suddenly sobbed, looking at Ron.  
“How am I lucky?” Ron asked her, puzzled as to why she would say such a thing.  
“Severus is not mad with you- you’re able to stay with him whereas we have to stay out here,” Lily cried. “You get to be with him.”  
Ron nodded. “In that regard, I am lucky, but so are you.”  
Lily stared at her uncle in disbelief; how could she possibly be lucky after what just happened?  
Interpreting her silence as confusion, Ron continued.  
“What we saw and heard in there was a Boggart, Lily not an image from the Mirror of Erised. That creature moulded itself into the form of your family and it showed us the two things Severus fears the most- one, that your family may fall a part because of his illness and all that you will suffer and two, that you do not love him as much as he loves you. All of you know that if the roles were in reverse, he would be there by your side,” Ron said, looking between his sister, niece, friend and nephews. “And it is clear that he is afraid that you would not do that for him- no matter what he has told you in the past, he clearly wants you there, even if he never admits it. So I am lucky because he is not mad at me and he will listen to me, but he does not care for me like he cares for you and as much as this hurts you all, think about this: his Boggart could have been any one of a number of things, but what he fears the most is you believing he was not worth it: that despite all he has been through with you, he may still die alone and even though you know that that would never be so, he clearly has his doubts. When you apparently betrayed him, he felt worthless, you could see it in his eyes- but despite all of this, you are lucky because he loves you and even if he never feels the same way about you ever again, you know- we all know- that at that moment when he was by himself in his room, he would have wanted nothing more than for the five of you to be there,” Ron finished finally, feeling quite proud of himself.  
“I never knew you were so insightful, Ron,” Ginny said, clearly impressed.  
“I’ve been observing your relationship with Severus for many years- it wasn’t hard,” Ron said, smiling in spite of himself.  
But Lily was still crying, what her uncle said was very true; she had never viewed the situation from that point of view before, but she couldn’t stop her tears from flowing.   
After a moments pause, Ron said: “I had better go,” looking uncertainly into the room behind him.  
“Look after him,” Albus asked of his uncle.  
“We will,” Ron said nodding and then, after giving Lily’s hand a squeeze and clapping Harry on the shoulder, he closed the door.


	30. Stay close to me (Part 2)

After four hours of anxious waiting, Scorpius finally gave the Potters permission to visit Severus in his room. The man had just woken up from a rest and his pain was minimal. Upon seeing the looks on their faces, Severus said:  
“I am really sorry.”  
“Do you remember what you said?” Albus asked.  
“Yes, and I remember the Boggart as well.”  
“Oh, Sev, you know we would never think that way, don’t you?” Lily asked.  
“I know.”  
“And we will all keep our promises,” James reassured him. “We won’t betray you.”  
“I know,” Severus said quietly, nodding.  
There was a pause.  
“See how hard this is going to be?” Severus implored. “At the moment, whilst I still have my memory I will remember the things I have done and I will be able to say that I am sorry, but there will come a time when I won’t remember, when I cannot speak and the five of you are going to have to be there for each other. It will not be easy for you,” Severus said, looking at each of them eagerly, as if determining whether someone was going to back down from the responsibility they were all putting on themselves.  
“We know it will be difficult, Severus, but you know we will not have it any other way,” Harry answered, looking seriously into Severus’ eyes.  
“This may be selfish, but I take back what I told Lily a few months ago; if you can bring yourself to do it, if you can be strong enough, I want all of you to be with me, whenever you can of course,” Severus added realising that everyone surrounding him had responsibilities and jobs to attend to.  
Harry was smiling, in spite of everything that had happened in the last few hours, he said: “We’ll be here until the very end, Severus. No matter what you say or what you do, you cannot get rid of us that easily.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx

3 years later  
As the years went on, the Potters kept their promise to Severus and never thought twice about turning back. As difficult as it was for them to watch Severus slowly lose his ability to argue, reason and even form cohesive sentences, never once did they consider leaving his side. Occasionally, Hermione and Ron would visit Severus too, having helped him through his first day at St. Mungos, they also felt the personal need to see him, if only for an hour or so.  
The three years went surprisingly fast for everyone, it seemed it was only yesterday that Severus was diagnosed with the illness and yet it had been three years of suffering, three years of pain.

Before work one Monday morning, Hermione decided to drop by St. Mungos on her way to the Ministry so as to see how Severus was. It was very early in the morning and even though there were nurses and Healers walking very quickly through the corridors of St. Mungos, Hermione realised that no one seemed to have attended to Severus yet; Lily, Scorpius nor Rose were anywhere insight. Deciding that she would creep into Severus’ room and wait for them, she knocked on the door, but received no answer.  
Assuming that Severus was still sleeping, she pushed open the door to find the man wide awake, sitting up in bed, watching her enter the room; his black eyes following her every move. Hermione continued to stare at the man as she sat down in a chair on the far side of the room as if she was too frightened by the look he was giving her, to be any closer to him. After sitting down and several moments of deafening silence, Hermione asked:  
“How are you feeling, Severus?”  
Generally when this question was asked, Severus would never truly be able to give a detailed answer because often he either couldn’t understand what was asked of him or couldn’t form a descriptive sentence and hence, Lily, Scorpius or Rose would have to examine him to receive a definite answer. But usually you could expect Severus to utter a word such as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘fine’, but today he didn’t say a thing and this puzzled Hermione extensively.  
Getting up from her chair, Hermione walked closer to Severus’ bed and asked him again.  
“How are you feeling, Severus?”  
Severus continued to stare at her and Hermione had to admit it; she was becoming frightened.  
“Can you understand me?” Hermione asked eagerly.  
Severus nodded his head; at least this meant he was able to comprehend sentences at the moment (sometimes he was unable to do this on his worst days).  
“Okay, so how are you feeling?” Hermione asked yet again, but Severus did not answer.  
Something dawned on Hermione as she continued to stare into Severus’ eyes.  
“Can you speak, Severus?”  
And slowly, Severus shook his head.  
Hermione knew what this meant- almost Severus’ entire frontal lobe was destroyed, which meant that soon, he would not be able to understand anything they said, communication would be completely lost.  
Hermione jumped up, pulled out her wand and sent her Patronus to Lily, feeling that it was important that the Healers knew of Severus’ unfortunate progression.   
Once that was done, Hermione sat down next to Severus’ bed, no longer afraid of the way he was staring at her, after all, when one finds it difficult to understand language, facial cues give a lot of information.  
There were moments for Severus when he had no idea he couldn’t speak and frankly didn’t care or even notice that his brain was unable to form words, but at other times, the small area of the frontal lobe that was still working allowed him to realise that although he can think and feel and remember, he had no words to communicate and that was where he was in this moment with Hermione. Knowing what this meant, knowing that he could no longer speak told him one thing: soon his memory would be disappearing- it would only get harder from here and he, Severus will not even know how hard because he will be blessed with forgetfulness.

Hermione was watching Severus closely; she wondered how much Severus knew about his condition, whether he understood what muteness meant for him, for them…  
Hermione received her answer soon after these thoughts as she saw Severus’ Adam’s apple move up and down; he was gulping down sobs and although that was the extent of Severus’ emotional expression, Hermione knew he understood, so she grabbed his hand and held tightly onto it, waiting for Lily to arrive.

After five minutes, Lily burst through the door.  
“What is it? What’s the matter, Aunt Hermione?” she asked, before she even had the opportunity to take in the scene in front of her.  
Hermione watched as Lily’s eyes swept the scene: from Severus’ stillness apart from his Adam’s apple, down to Hermione’s hands which were holding onto Severus’ and then up to Hermione’s face which looked grim and sad.  
“Is he in pain?” Lily asked, slightly annoyed at the silence in the room, as she whipped out her wand and was just about to begin her regular check up when Hermione interrupted her.  
“Severus cannot speak, Lily,” she said quietly, knowing just how much this would affect her niece. Lily almost dropped her wand as she looked between Hermione and Severus as if daring the latter to open his mouth to prove her wrong. But Severus was not looking at Lily, almost as if he understood the pain it would cause him, cause her, so he looked at the ceiling and made no effort to prove Hermione true or false.  
“How do you know?” Lily asked Hermione.  
“I asked Severus if he could talk and he shook his head in response which means-”  
“I know what it means,” Lily interrupted. “I am his Healer after all.”  
Then walking to the other side of Severus’ bed, opposite that of Hermione, Lily said:  
“Severus?” in an attempt to get his attention, but Severus didn’t look at her.  
Lily placed her hand on Severus’ face and moved it slightly, so that he was now facing her.  
“Can you speak?” she asked him, her hand moving a little in an effort to comfort him.  
Severus stared into Lily’s face and both Lily and Hermione thought that maybe he was unable to comprehend her words, which had been occurring of recent, but after a moment’s pause, Severus shook his head.  
Lily nodded and conjured a chair for herself to sit down just in time before she collapsed into it.  
“Did you want me to contact anyone for you?” Hermione asked, realising that Lily may wish to sit in silence as she comprehended this unfortunate, though predictable progress in Severus’ development.  
“My family, Rose and Scorpius… if you could,” Lily replied. “Thank you.”  
“No problem, Lily,” Hermione answered and left the room, knowing that Lily would want a moment alone with Severus.  
Once Hermione had left, Lily slid her chair towards Severus’ bed and grabbed hold of his hand.  
“Can you understand me?” she asked, through her tears.  
Severus nodded.  
“Do you feel okay?”  
Severus shook his head.  
Lily’s heart began to race.  
“Are you in pain? Where does it hurt?” she asked eagerly, ready to pull out her wand with her other hand.  
But Severus shook his head once more.  
“Then- then what’s the matter? Do you feel sick?”  
Severus shook his head once more.  
“Then what? Oh I wish you could talk to me,” said Lily desperately, more to herself than to Severus. Suddenly, Severus grabbed hold of the hand that was holding his. Lily looked at him intensely; what was he doing?  
“Severus, what’s the matter?” she asked, feeling how tightly Severus was squeezing her hand. As if he knew what was concerning Lily, Severus loosened his grip a little and then placed her hand over his heart, where she felt it beating extremely fast.  
Lily finally knew what Severus was implying: he was not in pain; he was afraid.  
“Oh Severus,” Lily said quietly, rubbing his chest with her hand. “Everything will be okay and I will-” But Lily stopped short when she saw tears dwelling in Severus’ eyes, his Adam’s apple still moving rapidly up and down.  
“Severus? Oh, Severus, no no, it’s okay, don’t be upset. You will be fine, we will look after you, I prom-”  
But Severus was shaking his head rapidly; and lifted his left arm pointing at himself and then at Lily and then his heart.  
“You- you love me?” Lily asked, trying to decipher his coding.  
But Severus continued to do more actions and Lily was watching him carefully as he repeated those three actions over and over again.  
Eventually, Lily felt she understood.  
“You’re scared…” she began and Severus nodded, pointing at Lily. “For me?” she finished. Severus nodded.  
“Is that why your heart is beating so fast?”  
Severus nodded, but tears were now falling down his face and Lily wondered if there was something else he wanted to say.  
“What is it Severus? Try and show it to me,” she insisted, wiping Severus’ tears away for him.  
Severus gestured for her to move closer and Lily did so, almost having to sit on his bed to get near enough. Then Severus wrapped his arms around Lily and she could feel his heart pounding against her chest.  
“Are you saying goodbye?” she whispered in Severus’ ear and in response, she felt Severus nod.  
“You have not lost your memory yet, Severus,” she whispered back, but Severus hugged her still more tightly and Lily gave in to him.  
“I will miss you, Severus,” she said, tears pouring down her face now, it seemed that her attempt to stay strong wasn’t working. “Goodbye,” she whispered, kissing Severus’ cheek as her family walked into the room.   
Letting go of Severus, Lily stood up to greet her family, even though she would have liked a few more minutes with him.  
“What is it, Lily? Is Severus okay?” Harry asked eagerly, walking towards his daughter and hugging her.  
“He is feeling fine,” Lily replied slowly, watching Severus. “But his disease has progressed.”  
Lily’s family stood there looking back at her in disbelief; they knew what the next stage was, but all of them hoped, rather foolishly, that that day would never come.  
“He can’t speak?” Ginny whispered, not daring to believe it and looking over at Severus who returned her gaze, tears still threatening to fall down his face once more.  
At that moment, Scorpius and Rose also entered the room, but they were more forthwith as both of them walked up to Lily and asked quietly.  
“How is he?’  
“He can no longer speak,” Lily whispered back as both of her fellow Healers turned pale.  
“Okay, well we are going to need to keep a closer eye on him, now that he cannot communicate how he is feeling or if he is in pain, regular half hour check ups will be necessary,” Scorpius mumbled to his co-workers, though he didn’t sound nearly as professional as he usually did. Rose and Lily nodded in reply and then turned back to face Lily’s family and Hermione.  
It took a while for this new avalanche of information to sink in, but once it did, Harry was the first to approach Severus’ bed and knowing that the next step in Severus’ progression was loss of memory, Harry wanted to be sure that Severus knew that they would be with him, even if he couldn’t remember it. Harry stood next to Severus’ bed, placed a hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.  
“We will always be here for you, Severus, always and don’t you ever forget that,” Harry insisted. “And do not worry about us, we will support one another and stay together like you always wanted us to,” Harry continued, hoping that that would reassure Severus that Harry and his family would be okay.  
Lily, realising that her father was talking to Severus, turned to see how the man would react to hearing these words, but Severus did not move- did not make the effort to communicate, he simply stared blankly back at Harry as if he did not understand a word he said.  
“You’re too late, Dad,” Lily whispered, silent tears falling down her cheeks.  
“What do you mean, Lily?” Harry asked.  
“He’s- he’s not able to understand language anymore. It- it has been happening for a while, at one moment he can understand us and the next, he can’t. It’s just… the way it is.”  
Harry continued to stare at his daughter as if begging her to contradict herself, but when she didn’t and Harry returned his gaze to Severus’ face, he knew that she was right; Severus had no idea what he was saying, the urgency in Harry’s voice- how much he wanted Severus to understand that he and his family would be okay- would be there for him- Severus would never understand those words again.  
But that is okay; Severus knows, Harry- deep down he knows…

“So, there’s no way of communicating with him?” James asked, looking shocked; he had always imagined, but never experienced what it would feel like to be in the same room with someone and yet not be able to communicate with them.  
Rose, Scorpius and Lily shook their heads.  
“Is this the way it is going to be from now on?” Albus asked, looking between the Healers as if hoping that they would discover within the next few hours a way of communicating with Severus even though he couldn’t understand nor speak with words.  
The Healers nodded in response to Albus’ question.  
“So, not only has he lost his ability to talk, but also his understanding of speech?” Hermione clarified, looking horrified as she stared at Severus.  
“Once the disease has completely destroyed his frontal lobe, then yes, that is true; but whether or not that has happened yet,” Scorpius explained, looking over at Severus, “we will not know for sure; it is possible that he will be able to understand us for a few more hours, but it is also possible that he won’t-”  
“Ever again?” Harry finished, hoping nonetheless that Scorpius would contradict him. But he didn’t and Harry felt a deep, sinking feeling in his stomach.  
Lily looked around at her family- their faces, their disappointment, their fear, their sorrow and Lily felt her heart beating faster against her chest and without even thinking, without any logical thought or reasoning, Lily announced.  
“I can’t do this anymore.”  
“What? Lily, what do you mean?” Harry asked, looking at his daughter with great concern.  
“Dad, I can’t I just can’t-”  
“You can’t what, Lily?” Ginny asked, stepping towards her daughter.  
“Everything we say to him, our tears, our words, our pain, he won’t know any of it, it will mean nothing to him, Mum and I don’t know if I can be with him everyday, telling him that it will be okay, that I’m here for him when he neither knows nor cares!”  
“Lily, he may not be able to understand us now, but he does know, deep inside he knows that we are here for him,” James comforted his sister. “Of course, it will be hard that we can never truly share our emotions with him, but we can share them with each other. He is still here, he is still holding on, don’t give up on him yet,” James insisted carefully and kindly.  
“How is it possible that the love we all feel for him, in the end- at the end of his life, means nothing to him? Nothing! It’s like some sick joke that God is playing on us- we spend so much of our time, our life being with him, becoming friends with him, convincing him to trust us and in the end, at the end of his life, he won’t even remember what we’ve done! What he’s done! What he means to us! It’s sick!” Lily cried.  
“Lily calm down,” Harry said gently, approaching his daughter to give her a hug.  
“I can’t calm down Dad, this has been in the back of my mind for years and now that it has finally happened, I have no idea what to do with myself; can I really stay here for the next however many years watching him die when I know that he hasn’t the faintest idea that the woman standing next to him loves him and cares for him and is always there for him? Can I sit here knowing that I mean nothing to him?” Lily asked her family as if hoping they would give her an answer.  
“Lily, as James said, he knows and although consciously he may not recognise us, deep down he will always remember us- he will never truly forget,” Albus insisted. “We made a promise to him, Lily.”  
“I know, but I can’t- I can’t- he won’t realise I’m gone, it’ll be okay-”  
“But Lily, he will know,” Scorpius intervened. “You, Rose and I, we have watched many men and women enter this hospital, watch them lose their memory, watch the people around them fall apart because they feel like they are no longer a part of that person’s life and you know Lily that in the end, when a family member does leave their loved one, there is something different about the patient- they realise that something is missing, even if they can’t verbalise it, even if they don’t remember it, they know things that cannot be put into words Lily and you know and I know that even if you do leave, Severus will notice your absence, even if we never see or hear of it.”  
“But he will-”  
“Forgive you, yes,” Scorpius agreed.   
“He’ll understand-”  
“Yes, but Lily-”  
“Then I don’t see-”  
“Listen to me, Lily. He will forgive you and he will be okay without you here, but do not think that your emotions, your feelings, your thoughts and actions are meaningless to him! We were taught many, many years ago that people, no matter how incapacitated they may be, there is something in that very person that let’s them know who they are and it isn’t physical or biological, it is something much more substantial than that. Severus’ very being would thrive on your being there, all of you,” Scorpius emphasised, indicating the rest of Lily’s family. “So, if you choose to stay, know that what you say and do will make a difference to Severus and a part of him, some part that has yet to be found and probably never will be, will know that this woman, whoever she may be, is sitting next to me because she cares- because she loves me.”  
By this time, Lily was crying, silently, but crying nonetheless and even Scorpius had tears in his eyes, something which shocked the rest of the family for they had never seen Scorpius become emotional.  
Lily stared pleadingly at Scorpius.  
“Of course, you are right, you are very right and I know that, I know, but I just- I can’t- I’m just not strong enough to watch Severus…” she trailed off, staring at the man who was still conscious, but clearly was no closer to understanding what she was saying.  
“I can’t, I must go,” Lily said and made to get past Scorpius and her father, both of whom were standing next to her. In mid motion, Lily gasped as she felt a hand grip her wrist tightly. Turning around slowly, she saw Severus holding on to her and although there was no emotion in his eyes and even though he made no other actions to make any form of communication, Lily couldn’t help but stare at him; he knew something, he could sense that she wanted to leave. The whole room seemed to be transfixed by this sudden motion of Severus’ and after a while, some of them wondered whether it was simply by chance, but then they all watched as Severus turned to face Lily and blinked once… twice… three times and finally a fourth time.  
Everyone turned to face Lily preparing for her to ask what they were all thinking: ‘What did that mean, if anything?’ But to their shock, Lily did not ask such a thing and pulled up a chair, sat herself in it and stared at Severus, transfixed by his apparently insignificant blinking.  
Lily couldn’t take her eyes of Severus.  
He remembered after all these years.  
Becoming a little concerned, Harry broke the silence.  
“Lily, what is it?”  
“He blinked four times,” Lily whispered in an amazed tone.  
“Um, so?” James asked hesitantly, not wanting to offend his sister if blinking was a more substantial form of communication than he realised.  
“I can’t believe he remembered…” Lily continued in an undertone.  
“Remembered what, Lily?” Ginny asked, intensely interested to know what exactly four blinks meant.  
Lily dragged her eyes away from Severus, though she grabbed hold of his hand, to let him know that she was still there with him, so as to look at her family.  
“Remember when Greyback took a dose of Polyjuice potion and turned up at Grimmauld place?”   
Everyone, including Scorpius nodded, it seemed that Rose had informed him of that occasion, but of course, how could anyone forget that night?  
“If you recall, I was really upset and very scared. When Severus came back later that night because I couldn’t sleep, I confessed to him that I was afraid that it would happen again. He ensured me that it wouldn’t, but I insisted that it could and so he asked me what my favourite number was. I told him it was four and he assured me that if it did happen again, if I was ever uncertain of which imposter was really him, he would blink four times at me so that I would feel safe-” Lily broke off, for she burst into tears and lay across Severus’ chest so that they were looking eye to eye.  
“I’m so sorry, Severus,” Lily sobbed. “I’m so sorry for wanting to leave and you always told me that I was brave like Al and James, you knew I was strong enough and I am so sorry I nearly let you down. Please forgive me,” Lily pleaded, sobbing hysterically onto Severus’ chest and although Severus couldn’t speak, nor could he understand her words, one thing that everyone, even Scorpius forgot is that Severus could sense emotion, and inside where no one could see, but for him to feel, Severus was crying too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Everyday that Lily walked into Severus’ room, she had one thing on her mind: will today be the day?  
But today, for some reason, she felt the need to bring Rose and Scorpius with her. So the three Healers walked into Severus’ room like they did almost every other day and all stood around his bed. If it weren’t for the fact that his eyes were open, one would have thought that he were sleeping peacefully. As it was, the disease had progressed still further so that now he was unable to move voluntarily and it was a matter of counting the days until Severus would completely lose his memory.  
Because of this, Lily, Rose and Scorpius have had to keep a very close eye on him, because although he could not physically leave the room, his inability to speak and move meant that he could be in pain or experience cramps without anyone knowing. As part of their routine, Lily, Rose and Scorpius worked together usually just before Severus went to sleep and in the morning after breakfast, to move him into a more comfortable position. But walking into his room today, they had another agenda: did Severus still have his memory?  
Of course, this was not easy to test; they could not simply ask him who they were, where he was or what position he used to hold at Hogwarts for example. Instead they needed to rely on his instincts, which were still intact. Lily always hated this procedure; it reminded her of people who train their dogs repetitiously. Even though Lily knows that Severus is so much more than an animal, she couldn’t help feeling like she was treating him with terrible indecency. Of course, Rose and Scorpius helped Lily through it, assuring her that it was the only way in which they could test his memory seeing as he was unable to move and unable to communicate. It had taken Lily a couple of years to get used to these methods, and yet she still felt strangely inhuman whenever she performed them on Severus and today was no different.  
“Good morning, Severus,” Lily said as brightly as she could, knowing that one day Severus would not even be able to hear her, but nevertheless, it seemed almost eerie to walk into a room without acknowledging the people already within it.  
In the past, Lily, Rose and Scorpius spent a long time devising a way of testing Severus’ memory and decided to measure his instinctual reaction to stimuli, which they decided should be someone he knows and cares about doing something that was out of the ordinary to which he would generally react to. By measuring Severus’ heart beat, physical reflexes, and any signs of emotion such as sweaty palms, tears and wide eyes the Healers concluded that Severus still recognised Lily for now, which is a good sign. Unfortunately, Severus still had his sense of touch which meant that until he lost this sense, this method would continue being a terrible procedure.

Taking a deep breath, Lily braced herself for doing this yet again and she hated it, she absolutely hated it, but at least it worked.  
Sitting down next to Severus’ bed, Rose and Scorpius standing at the foot of it, Lily turned Severus’ head on the side so that he could see her clearly and know that it was her touching him, before turning his head back towards the ceiling. She then held onto Severus’ hand, which did not cause a reaction- it usually didn’t. Lily then rubbed his arm in what would be a comforting way, like she had frequently done before Severus was even diagnosed with the illness.   
Then turning away, Lily felt for Severus’ skin and, pinched him as hard as she could with apparent aggression.  
As one would expect, Severus flinched which was simply a reflex, but before Lily could continue with the test, they had to wait until Severus’ heart rate went back to normal so as not to confuse the following results. After five minutes, it was now time for the test: standing up, Lily leaned over Severus so that he could see her clearly. Usually, Severus’ eyes would widen, his heart rate would soar again and he would often flinch when Lily touched his arm again shortly after. But as Lily stared into his eyes with all the anger and aggression she could muster, there was no reaction, no sense of recognition. For the first time ever, Severus did not care that Lily had hurt him. It was apparent to Rose and Scorpius that within the last few hours, Severus had lost his ability to recognise people, and although some of the other areas of his memory may still be intact, the most important- the most meaningful one, had disappeared. Writing on the clipboard at the end of Severus’ bed, Rose made a record of what they witnessed, but Lily couldn’t move; she was paralysed at the thought that Severus no longer recognised her, no longer cared if she pinched him a thousand times; the only thing he would ever register is a sharp pain, nothing more. Lily knew that this was going to happen, she always knew where the illness would take Severus, but the idea that Severus could not recognise her- his blank expression, his empty eyes, made Lily break down inside.  
“No…” Lily whispered.  
Rose and Scorpius walked up to Lily and stood on either side of her. Placing her arm around her cousin, Rose kissed her on the forehead and said: “At least now he won’t remember the pain… he won’t be afraid anymore,” Rose comforted her.  
“He’s no longer Severus,” Lily mumbled. “What is a person without memories?”  
“Someone we love nonetheless,” Scorpius answered on Lily’s other side and smiled a little.  
“Yes, you’re right,” Lily whispered. “Will you be taking some scans, Scorpius?”   
Scorpius nodded.  
“Okay, well can you please keep an eye on him until I return?”  
“Where are you going?” Rose asked, looking concerned.  
“I’m okay, I just want to communicate with my father, he’s at Hogwarts and I promised him I would notify him when Severus lost his memory.”  
Rose nodded and gave Lily a hug before she left the room.

Walking down the corridor, tears pouring down her face, though she didn’t utter a sound, Lily finally made it to the staff room which was actually much like a warm, cosy living room where lounges, a television, food, drinks and a fireplace were set out when people needed a break.  
Lily made her way to the fireplace and threw in some floo powder shouting:  
“The headmaster’s office of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry!”  
Lily felt her head spinning, though her knees were placed firmly on the carpeted floor. Finally her head arrived in the Headmaster’s office which she recognised immediately. Thankfully her father was sitting at his desk- presumably he had only just woken up.  
“Lily!” he said in astonishment as he walked around his desk and knelt down in front of the fire place. “What is it?” he asked urgently.  
“I just- I wanted to tell you that… Severus- Severus has lost his memory,” Lily blurted out.   
“Are you sure?” Harry asked in disbelief.  
“I’m sure, the test we usually use produced no response from him.”  
Harry paused, looking intently at Lily as if scrutinizing whether or not she was telling the truth.  
“I don’t believe you,” Harry replied, standing up and grabbing a handful of floo powder.   
“But Dad!” Lily cried, trying to look up so as to find her father’s eyes. “You can’t leave; you have a school to run!”  
“Breakfast is not for an hour, I will be back in time-”  
“There’s nothing you can do, Dad; please just try to accept that he’s-”  
But Lily quickly retreated, pulling her head out the fireplace so as to prevent herself and her father colliding mid way. Standing aside from the fire place, Lily waited eagerly for her father to appear, which he did in no less than thirty seconds.  
“Dad, what do you think you are doing?” Lily demanded as she followed her father out of the room, who unfortunately knew where Severus’ room was having been there several times before.  
“I must see this for myself-”  
“Okay, but please don’t be in denial-”  
“I’m not in denial!” Harry shouted at his daughter as he walked as fast as possible to Severus’ room. Bursting through the door, much to the shock of both Scorpius and Rose, Harry stood over Severus, who like many times before often reacted with wide eyes and some sort of friendliness in his eyes that always let Harry know that Severus recognised his friend even though he couldn’t voice it or shake his hand.  
But before Harry even spent three seconds staring into Severus’ eyes, he knew that Lily was right; there was no friendliness there, no recognition, but blank black eyes that looked at him as if he did not recognise the messy black hair, the lightning shaped scar, his friend, the bright green eyes…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“He can’t remember anything?” Ginny asked in astonishment as she and her family sat in Severus’ room looking from one to another and occasionally to the floor to avoid the man lying in the bed.  
“Not that we can tell,” Scorpius asserted gloomily as he too sat down next to Rose, though he, unlike everyone else, was watching Severus closely.  
“It was just so sudden,” Ginny continued. “No warning at all… so that’s- that’s it isn’t it? Saying goodbye to him won’t mean anything to him- everything we shared, everything we did is all forgotten,” Ginny thought out loud and Harry put his arm around his wife.  
“He will remember Ginny; when he dies, he will remember us, the things we’ve done, what he meant to us… we need to focus on that because he will remember, just not right now…” Harry said sadly looking over at Severus for the first time since staring into his eyes earlier that day.  
A deafening silence filled the room as if they were already mourning for Severus- they believed that essentially the loss of one’s memory was a loss of one’s self and although they would never leave Severus’ side for very long- although it didn’t matter to them whether Severus could remember them, they supposed that in essence, the only thing left was his body. However, despite the logic behind this reasoning, no one present in the room truly believed nor wished to believe its truth; to accept the fact that Severus ‘died’ without any of them having the opportunity to say goodbye to his memories, broke all of their hearts.  
The terribly long silence continued until, after ten minutes, Albus said:  
“Um, Scorpius… is Severus- twitching?” he asked, looking over at Severus who was indeed twitching ever so slightly.  
Scorpius leapt out of his chair as did Rose and the both of them drew their wands and waved them over Severus’ brain.  
“What’s happening?” Ginny asked as she too stood up.  
But neither Rose nor Scorpius answered immediately for they were both concentrating on the results they were receiving from their various magical tests.  
Lily approached her co-workers and looked at them keenly, not even bothering to perform her own tests, knowing too well that they wouldn’t work properly when she was so upset.  
“What is it?” Lily whispered hurriedly, so that they could sense the urgency and fear in her voice.  
Scorpius finished first and turned to look at Lily, talking quietly:  
“When was it the last time we gave Severus a pain remedy?” he asked, looking slightly sick.  
Lily paused, trying to think back to earlier in the day.  
“Um, I- I don’t remember giving him any today, I thought that you would-” But Lily faltered under the stricken look her colleagues were giving her.  
“Damn it!” Lily cried, looking around as if determining what to do.  
“What is it Lily?” Harry asked, looking fearful and worried.  
“How could I have been so stupid?” Lily continued, ignoring her father.  
“It was our fault too,” Rose asserted as she mumbled ‘Accio pain remedy’ under her breath.  
“What? What was your fault?” Ginny intervened.  
Although Severus could no longer understand language or the tone in ones voice, he could still detect loudness; the difference between whispering and the sudden increase in volume seemed to stir something in him, causing him to twitch (however out of his control) even more quickly and violently.   
“No, no Severus, don’t,” Lily pleaded with the man who couldn’t understand her, as she leant over him and tried to make reassuring eye contact with Severus. But his reflexive movements prevented him from remaining focused on her and consequently, he was not even given the opportunity to realise or process that Lily was there for him.  
Rose finally had the remedy in her hand; it was a particularly powerful one that was needed at a time like this: as the disease progresses the pain gets worse as the brain is destroyed at a faster, exponential rate. This particular remedy would likely eliminate any pain Severus felt, but it was a large bottle and required him to hold still for at least ten seconds, which at the moment, looked impossible.  
Before any of them had a chance to talk or construct some sort of plan as to how this would be done, they heard a sound, one they had not heard for a number of years. But it was just that- a sound, not a word, but a soft groan. It took a while for the people in the room to realise that the noise was coming from Severus. This shocked everyone, but especially the Healers who realised, after a moment’s consideration, that this vocal sound was not voluntary but a part of Severus’ reflex system and corresponded with extreme pain.  
“We need to act fast,” Scorpius said in an authoritative tone, not taking his eyes off Severus. “Lily, you try to gain his attention, I’ll hold onto his legs and Rose, you attempt to give him the potion. On the count of three: one, two, three…”  
Lily had to basically sit on top of Severus in order to do what Scorpius required; they needed Severus to have his mouth facing upwards and Lily was not tall enough to lean directly over Severus’ head whilst he was lying down in bed. Once she was directly above Severus, supporting her weight on her knees which were thankfully resting on the mattress and not on Severus’ chest, she tried to hold Severus’ face steady, but he continued to move against her pressure and Lily knew better than to force it.  
“It’s not working, Scorpius,” Rose said, having realised the trouble Lily was having.  
“Speak to him,” Scorpius called back, even though he was only feet away. The rest of the visitors were being perfectly silent.  
“He won’t understand!”  
“I know, but he will see your lips move and that will hopefully attract his attention!”  
Lily decided it was worth a shot.  
“Severus, Severus, look at me. I know it’s painful, I know this must feel like we’re torturing you, but please, please calm down for a moment and look at me. Sev, stop moving, stop moving…”  
Lily continued to say these words knowing that it was no use; even if Severus could understand her, he couldn’t stop moving; his actions were that of reflex, not of choice.  
Severus was tossing and turning like he was having a terrible nightmare and this was slowly pushing Lily off of him and as Lily watched the man and how hopeless the situation was; no words could ever bring someone to relax when they were in so much pain. But Lily tried one more time and, still talking, she made every effort to attract Severus’ attention such as running her fingers through his hair, rubbing his arm, holding his hand, hugging him close to her, but nothing worked, he continued to convulse like she didn’t exist and it was at this moment that Lily, despite all of her morals, all of her promises, she couldn’t go on.  
“I can’t,” Lily whispered to Rose as she got off Severus and stood there in silence watching the man helplessly.  
“Lily, what are you doing?” Scorpius demanded, who was now struggling to control Severus’ leg movements now that Lily’s body weight was no longer restraining Severus’ torso movement.  
“I can’t Scorpius; it isn’t working-”  
“We have to fix this Lily; this was our mistake!”  
“I know,” Lily cried. “But we can’t; we can’t inject him with a remedy because he is moving too much and we cannot feed him a potion and we cannot safely do anything that I can think of,” Lily said hysterically. “It’s useless!”  
“Lily!” Scorpius growled rather aggressively. “You have to try again!”  
“I don’t want to hurt him!” she sobbed as Harry stepped forward to comfort her.  
“He is in so much pain already, if we don’t do something, he could die from this- from our mistake!” Scorpius hissed.  
“I know- I know, but if he moves in the wrong direction whilst I am holding his head steady, I could break his neck-”  
“I know, Lily, but there must be a way of controlling this!” Scorpius pleaded, almost hysterical himself.  
“Let me try,” Albus said suddenly, walking towards his sister, hoping that his idea would work.  
Everyone in the room was looking at him with both admiration and fear.  
“By all means,” Scorpius said courteously, though he could not see what Albus could do that Lily could not; after all they were both very close to Severus and would find it difficult to cause him even a little more pain than he was already experiencing.  
Albus thought it inappropriate to sit on top of Severus so it was lucky that he was taller than Lily, and therefore able to lean over the bed enough for his head to be directly above Severus’.  
“SEVERUS!” Albus shouted.   
“What the hell are you doing, Albus?” Lily reprimanded her brother, having jumped from his sudden outburst.  
“Shush, Lily,” Albus said, not taking his eyes of Severus. “Didn’t you notice that he moved faster the more people shouted?”  
“So what the hell are you doing, then?” James intervened sharply, clearly unimpressed.  
“If he hears a loud noise from one direction, he may direct his head towards it,” Albus explained. Everyone thought that this could be a plausible plan, but had no idea if it would work; they were unsure just how damaged Severus’ hearing was at this stage of the disease.  
“SEVERUS!” Albus yelled again and Lily gasped as Severus’ head, though still moving, slowed down a little as if it were trying to detect the origination of the noise. Although he still had perfect sight, the constant movement did not help Severus detect the fact that Albus’ mouth was moving. Realising that his plan was working, Albus continued:  
“SEVERUS!” and again, for a couple of seconds Severus’ head paused, looking directly up at Albus. However, both Rose and Al were too slow and Severus continued to move once more once the initial shock of Albus’ yelled wore off.  
“I can’t do it this way,” Albus muttered to himself, as he leaped on to the bed, just like Lily had and put a hand on either side of Severus’ jaw.  
“You’re hurting him!” Lily cried out as she watched Severus struggle against Albus’ forceful hands.  
But Albus ignored his sister.   
“SEVERUS, LOOK AT ME!” Albus shouted, trying to get him to focus once more on his face so that Rose could feed him the potion.  
As everyone had hoped, Severus looked directly into Albus’ eyes and Al tightened his grip around Severus’ head to hold him still.  
But then a terrible sound was heard again; Severus was groaning in pain as Albus forced his head into an upright position.  
“He’s in pain, Al! Stop!” Lily pleaded, trying to pull her brother off Severus.  
“No, Lily wait I have it, just wait!” he shouted back and James held Lily back, looking with great anticipation at Albus.  
Still groaning as he tried to move out of Albus’ grip, Severus closed his eyes perhaps in an effort to block out the pain, but Albus yelled again:  
“Severus, look at me! Focus on me! Look into my eyes. I know it hurts, but don’t push against me, we want to help you, it’ll be over soon…”  
Albus knew perfectly well that Severus couldn’t understand a word he was saying, but hoped that maybe this would at least distract Severus enough to allow Rose to give him the remedy.  
Thankfully, Severus did look directly into Albus’ eyes and although he was still moving in pain, he was calmer somehow. Albus rubbed his thumbs gently along Severus’ jaw bone, hoping the sensation would calm him still further with the realization that Al was not there to hurt him.   
“Open your mouth Severus,” Albus said gently, daring to let go with his left hand to pries open Severus’ mouth a little. But Severus continued to stare at him and refused to lower his jaw.  
“Come on Severus, open your mouth for us,” Albus asked, still trying to open his mouth and without realising it, Albus was also opening his own mouth as if hoping Severus would imitate him. Whether from the constant pressure on his lower jaw or because the only thing he could see had his mouth open, Severus slowly opened his mouth, however absent mindedly.  
“Well done, Severus,” Albus sighed in relief, resuming the holding of Severus’ head whilst Rose poured in the remedy. Realising almost a moment too late that Severus would not be expecting the need to swallow, Albus removed his left hand from Severus’ jaw again and gently rubbed Severus’ throat with his fingers, encouraging him to swallow. After what felt like an eternity, Severus finally swallowed the potion and after ensuring that the man wasn’t choking, Albus slowly climbed off the bed and collapsed into a nearby chair, panic leaving him and relief consuming him as he tried to relax.   
After a moment’s silence, Scorpius said:  
“Excellent job, Albus.”  
Al nodded at him, still a little shocked that his plan even worked in the first place.  
“So does this mean that Severus will be okay?” Ginny asked, looking very pale as she watched Severus who was still looking up at the ceiling, though was no longer moving erratically despite the fact that Al was no longer holding on to him.  
“He should be fine- I just cannot believe we forgot to give him the remedy,” Rose asserted looking between Scorpius and Lily, the latter looked as if she were about to cry.  
“It won’t happen again,” Scorpius reassured his wife. “Not after this.”  
“It is a relief that Severus can still see. Do you think he recognised Al’s eyes to be Lily’s?” James asked the Healers.  
“Perhaps on a subconscious level,” Scorpius speculated, nodding a little. “But no, I do not believe he consciously recognised who Albus was let alone Lily’s eyes,” he reinforced.  
“What would we have done in a year or two, when Severus could not longer see?” Lily announced suddenly, a little hysterical.  
“We can hope that Albus still would have considered his idea and we would simply hope for the best,” Harry answered. “Otherwise there is not much else we could-”  
“So let him live in pain for the rest of his life?” Lily fired back.  
“Lily, it won’t happen again,” Scorpius reminded her.  
“But what if it does! If the only thing he can feel is pain- if we can’t stop it- the only thing he will remember is pain!”  
“No, Lily, he will know we did our best,” Harry said, trying to comfort his daughter, but she pulled away.  
“We make mistakes, Dad, we shouldn’t but we do and Healers have such a responsibility and if this happens again and if there’s nothing we can do I will never forgive myself!” Lily cried.  
“But Lily, Severus no longer has a memory-”  
“Does that make him any less human, Dad?” Lily snapped back.  
“No of course not, but what I was trying to say is that even though he can feel the pain; he will not remember it.”  
“NO ONE deserves to die in pain, whether they can remember it or not, whether they understand or accept it as a part of life, NO ONE- NO ONE deserves this and do you realise that when Severus loses his eye sight we will have no form of communication with him whatsoever? How could I live with myself if this happens again and there was nothing we could do- what if Albus wasn’t here just now? Severus would still be in pain! I just- I just want him to be okay,” Lily finished, from being frustrated and scared to tearful and thoughtful.  
“He will be Lily; Severus told us years ago that he would be okay; he will die at the end of all of this and won’t remember anything- it was us he was worried about, remember?” James reminded his sister, giving her a one armed hug, which she accepted.  
“He wouldn’t want you to be upset; he knew it would be hard; he knew you would worry about him, but he will be okay,” Albus said, supporting his brother and rubbing Lily’s shoulder to then be suddenly overcome as Lily flung her arms around Albus and sobbed onto his shoulder.  
“Thank you, Al, thank you,” she cried and Albus held her to him, truly hoping that nothing like this would ever happen again- Lily was right, Severus didn’t deserve this…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

“Lily, you haven’t eaten all day,” Ginny said, coming into Severus’ room and sitting next to her daughter, placing her hand on Lily’s knee.  
“I don’t care,” Lily whispered, staring at Severus like she had been for the last few hours.  
“Severus would not have wanted you to starve yourself,” Ginny said gently.  
“Well we don’t know that for sure do we?” Lily snapped back.  
“Lily, sweetie, he loves you and he wouldn’t want you to do this-”  
“And exactly what am I doing, Mother?”  
“You haven’t slept, you haven’t eaten, it isn’t healthy, Lily! I am worried and so is your father-”  
“But Dad’s at Hogwarts, he doesn’t give a-”  
“Lily!” Ginny yelled, astonished by the way her daughter was talking to her. “You know very well that your father cares for Severus and if he had the choice, he would be here with us, with Severus, but he has to work.”  
“Well as long as he doesn’t come crying to me if Severus dies and he’s not here to say goodbye!”   
And suddenly, Lily was sobbing onto Ginny’s shoulder, the latter relieved that her daughter was finally opening up to her.  
“What if I leave and he dies while I’m gone. I’ll never forgive myself, Mum!” She sobbed.  
“I know, but you cannot do this for the rest of Severus’ life; he could die in two weeks-”  
“Or he could die today, and you and I will be the only ones here with him. What about Al and James and Dad?”  
“We would have to accept that they just weren’t meant to say goodbye-”  
“Not say goodbye to Severus- a part of our family? He must hold on, he must wait until everyone is here,” Lily asserted, convincing herself, more than Ginny, that that was the condition under which Severus could die. The two women looked over at the body lying on the bed, his eyes were semi-open, his body perfectly still except for his chest which was moving slowly up and down with his breaths- the man was completely oblivious to everything around him.  
Every few minutes or so, Lily would withdraw her wand to ensure that Severus was still breathing, his pulse was normal and that he was not in pain and Ginny watched her daughter with great concern. 

A few minutes later, Scorpius and Rose entered the room and Scorpius immediately withdrew his wand to take yet another scan of Severus’ brain to see how far into the brain stem the disease had progressed. Last night, Scorpius had asserted that there was not long left, perhaps a few days before Severus would cease to breathe, but the exact time was so uncertain that it was driving everyone, especially Lily, crazy.  
Straight after work everyday, James and Albus would come to St. Mungos to be with Severus and their family, but Harry was not often able to arrive until after dinner which usually ended up being around eight to nine pm and today was no different. At ten past five, both James and Albus arrived together and from merely glancing at their sister, knew that she still had not eaten or slept in days. It was a wonder that she was still alive from the lack of sleep and nutrients. Upon their arrival, Ginny gave her two sons a hug and kiss and asked them how work was. They always answered with the same words: ‘good’, ‘fine’, ‘same as always’ for they could not bear to talk about something so insignificant whilst in the presence of a dying friend and a mourning sister.  
“How is he, Scorpius?” James whispered into the man’s ear so that Lily couldn’t hear him.  
“He does not have much longer; the brain stem is almost completely destroyed,” Scorpius replied solemnly.  
“How long would you say?” James pressed on, wanting as precise a time as Scorpius could give him.  
Scorpius looked in to James’ face and replied: “If he survives tonight, I will be surprised,” he said quietly, his mouth barely moving.  
James stared at him, wide eyed. “Does Lily know this? Does Mum?”  
Scorpius shook his head. “Tell your mother, but do not tell Lily, a higher level of anxiety is not what she needs at the moment.”  
James nodded in agreement; Scorpius was very right.  
But James did not feel the need or desire to tell neither Ginny nor Albus what Scorpius had said; he did not want to place the burden on them either. All he could hope was that his father arrived before Severus left them forever…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

An hour past and hardly anyone had spoken. Everyone except Lily walked out of the room every now and then, perhaps to get some fresh air or otherwise to escape the negative, saddening feeling that filled them up whenever they resided in Severus’ room. But by 7pm, they were all sitting down in the room, the only movement was of Lily doing the regular check ups on Severus every minute or so. James kept thinking to himself: only an hour until Dad gets here, only an hour, please, just one more hour.  
At 7:30, Lily stood up again to check up on Severus but mid way through she paused and stood frozen as if she couldn’t move.  
“What is it, Lily?” Ginny asked, looking concerned. “Do you feel faint?”  
Lily shook her head, still staring transfixed at Severus.  
“Lily, what is it?” Rose asked, standing next to her cousin and performing the same diagnostic spells. “Oh…” Rose mumbled and gave Lily a quick one armed hug and a kiss before turning to the family.  
“His heart rate is very low… it’s- it’s nearly time,” Rose whispered and at these words everyone leapt out of their seats to surround Severus’ bed, James sending his silver bear to his father to let him know to get here as soon as possible.  
“Goodbye, Severus,” Rose whispered, kissing him on the forehead. “You put up a strong fight. We’re going to miss you. Take care,” she continued and then moved aside so that Albus could get past her.  
“Bye Severus,” Al mumbled, resting a hand on the dying man’s shoulder. Not being able to think of anything else to say, tears sliding down his cheeks, he moved aside so that Ginny could get closer to Severus.  
Leaning over, Ginny wrapped her arms around Severus’ neck, his body limp and weak, but holding his head in her arms she whispered: “I hope you’re happy, Severus. We’ll always miss you, but we’ll try to be happy, just for you.” Then kissing him on the cheek, she rested his body back down on the bed, then joined her youngest son, giving one another a hug.  
James knelt down next to Severus’ ear and whispered so quietly that no one heard:  
“I do not think my father will get here on time, Severus. Not being here the moment you die will crush him, so- so stay close to us all, let him know you are okay.”  
“Goodbye, Severus,” Scorpius said, though he didn’t get close to the man, knowing that the Potters would prefer that position and as much as he cared for Severus, Scorpius had accepted his death quite a while ago.  
It was only Lily who had not yet said goodbye; it appeared that she didn’t quite know what to say.  
Eventually, she walked slowly towards Severus, bags under her eyes, very pale and abnormally weak, she sat on the edge of his bed and held the man’s hand, feeling a very slight pulse in his wrist. Lying her chest on top of his, she too wrapped her arms around Severus’ neck and whispered to him:  
“I do not know what I am going to do without you Severus; to think that I do not need to come to this room everyday to be with you, to care for you, to protect you- the idea that never again will there be another Christmas with you, another birthday, another celebration. But my life has been wonderful because you were a part of it. I love you and I just want to thank you, so much- so much- for everything you have done for me, for my family, for my father- thank you for being a wonderful person, for being there for me, for being Severus. And I hope wherever you go,” Lily said, sobbing a little. “You will look down upon us and be proud of us and that you will watch us and protect us and never ever forget that we love you and always will. Goodbye, Sev,” Lily sobbed.   
James and Albus walked towards their sister and attempted to lift her off the bed, but she continued to hold onto Severus’ neck as if her life depended on it.  
“Lily, let go,” Albus said gently.  
“No,” Lily sobbed. “I want to stay.”  
“Okay,” James sighed and together he and his brother let go of Lily as she continued to cry on Severus’ chest.  
Scorpius had pulled out his wand again and was waving it above Severus, this action being obvious to everyone but Lily. They all looked at him and staring at them all, he nodded and it was apparent to all that saw it that it was over; Severus was dead. Harry had not made it on time, Severus had left his body, left the earth, left all those who love him…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Hoping that he was not too late, Harry skidded to a halt just outside Severus’ room and burst through the door not caring to knock. When he entered though, he did not like the scene he was witnessing. Lily was lying on Severus’ chest weeping her heart out and his wife looked pained as she walked towards at him.  
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked hurriedly, looking directly at his wife. Ginny reached her husband and holding onto his hands she said:  
“Severus is dead, Harry,” she whispered, tears pouring down her beautiful face as she said it, knowing how much this news would hurt her husband.  
Harry stared at her in disbelief.  
“No, he can’t be,” Harry whispered back, staring not at Ginny but at Severus’ body. “I got here as fast as I could…”  
“I know, Harry, I know, but you are too late; Severus has-”  
But Harry was no longer listening to her; he was now standing next to Severus and his daughter, staring blankly at the two of them.  
“He’s not dead,” Harry asserted in a tone that sounded like he was dreaming.  
“Of course he isn’t dead,” Lily said back, though she refused to move herself off of Severus.  
Harry looked towards Ginny, a terrible look on his face as if he believed Ginny had lied to him.  
“Harry, sweetie, Scorpius did a check up, Severus is no longer-”  
“I don’t want to hear it!” Harry shouted and Ginny jumped in fright at his sudden outburst. “Lily, get off,” Harry said harshly to his grieving daughter.   
“No!”  
“Get off him, Lily. You’ve had your time, now let me-”  
“I was the one who looked after him, I have been here this whole time and you come in here and think that you can get me away from Severus?” Lily shot back.  
“Wait, wait! Stop arguing!” Ginny called out, rushing up to her daughter and husband, trying to distract one from the other.  
“I had to work, Lily and sitting here all day without eating or sleeping is hardly considered a job in my opinion-”  
“I don’t give a damn about your opinion!” Lily screamed back. “Severus is gone and I just want a moment so back off!”  
Harry stood next to Severus’ bed, frozen and staring at his daughter with anger and fury boiling up inside him.  
“He means as much to me as he means to you, you selfish little-”  
“Dad, no!” Albus shouted as a Protego shield formed in between Lily and Harry so that the latter couldn’t grab hold of his daughter.  
“Albus!” Harry yelled, spinning around and staring at his son. “How dare you-”  
“Just because you were not here to say goodbye to Severus does not mean you can take it out on Lily!” Albus asserted, stepping towards his father, showing that he was not afraid of what Harry could do to him.  
“I simply want the chance to say goodbye!” Harry fired back, his voice breaking slightly.  
“I know, I know, Dad,” Albus said calmly, giving his father a hug, which Harry welcomed through his anger and frustration. “Just let Lily mourn for a bit longer, okay? She is so tired and exhausted, she did all of that for Severus and now she just needs to accept that she doesn’t have to do that anymore. Severus knew you loved him, a few moments of delay will not cause Severus to forget that.”  
Harry let his tears fall freely down his face as he hugged his son, Ginny standing next to them, rubbing her husband’s back.  
James however, moved towards Severus’ bed and, placing a hand on his sister’s back, asked:  
“Are you okay, Lily?” he knew the answer, but felt he ought to ask all the same.  
“No,” Lily whispered, sniffling.  
“Come here, let Dad say good bye,” James suggested gently, holding out his arms for Lily to hold on to.  
“Can’t I stay here with Severus?”  
“If you do, then you will never let go.”  
“I can’t let go,” Lily whispered back, her eyes bloodshot, her cheeks wet.  
“Yes you can, Lily. Severus does not reside in that body; as long as you love him, he will be wherever you go. Hold onto his memory and the love you had for him, not his body,” James replied kindly, putting his arms around his sister to lift her up and off the bed. Lily paused for a moment, looking at her eldest brother and after considering his words, she let go of Severus and wrapped her arms around James and began to sob once more.  
James carried his sister like a baby to a nearby chair and rocked her back and forth, indicating to Albus that she was okay and that their father was free to say goodbye.   
Harry walked, almost ghost like, towards Severus and as he sat on the edge of the bed he had no idea what to say to him- had no idea if the man could even hear him.  
Harry pulled Severus’ whole body close to him and held him tightly. Tears still sliding down his cheeks, Harry whispered:  
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here, Severus; I wanted to tell you how much I was going to miss you, how much you mean to me and my family, how much you have influenced my life, but if I couldn’t say all that, I wanted to at least be here when you took your final breath,” Harry was sobbing. “I wanted to beg you to stay with me- I wanted to watch you leave us. But I didn’t get the opportunity to do any of those things; I wasn’t quick enough and I hope you can forgive me. You changed all our lives, made them better and I just wanted to tell you that I am so proud of you; you have led a wonderful life that touched all of us and I am so, so, so sorry that I did not get to celebrate the last few moments of it with you. Goodbye, Severus and thank you. I’m sorry, so sorry…”


	31. Until the very end

Standing in front of three hundred people near the lake on Hogwarts grounds, Harry smiled; he couldn’t help himself. A few people at the front of the many rows of chairs littering the grass were looking at him strangely, so instead of starting the Eulogy like he originally planned, he thought he better justify his expression of happiness.  
“I apologise for smiling at such an occasion, but the many people sitting here today amuses me greatly. I know, almost for certain, that if a funeral was held for Severus Snape the day of Voldemort’s downfall, the day Severus was rumoured to have died, few of you would have turned up to pay your respects. Thankfully Severus did not pass away all those years ago, but sadly he has now left us, but not before he had the time, as I can see, to influence the lives of many people.” Harry paused for a moment, taking the opportunity to take in just how many people, old, young, middle-aged and even some whom Harry had never seen before were now present at Severus’ funeral and listening to his Eulogy.  
“I wish to welcome all of you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It took my family and me many hours to decide where to hold Severus’ funeral, finally deciding after much contemplation, that we could not think of a better location to honour Severus’ life than Hogwarts. Not only did Severus spend many years of his life at this school, but it is also where his life changed for the better and for the worse. Although Severus never explicitly stated it, we feel that of all the places he could be laid to rest, Severus would choose Hogwarts where he was Headmaster, a Professor and a student at some point during his life. We hope that he will feel most content in the place where his life changed forever, the place he always felt he needed to be.” Harry paused again, gulping as he braced himself for the next section of the Eulogy.  
“When Severus passed away, I could barely comprehend my own loss, let alone devise a way in which I could communicate to others just who Severus was to me- to all of us. It was not easy to write this Eulogy because Severus’ life was a complicated one and yet it was one that he himself asserted he would never have changed. There are many reasons why each individual present here today has made the effort to pay their respects and although I cannot account for everyone here, I hope to do Severus justice in the Eulogy I am about to give.” Harry took a quick glance at Ginny and smiled a little at her for it was both he and Ginny who wrote this next section of the Eulogy.  
“Severus Snape was born into a family who did not want him and sought to escape such rejection by delving into the Dark Arts before he even attended Hogwarts. It was this fascination that gave him the stereotype of being dark, a bit of a loner and perhaps a little pathetic when he arrived at Hogwarts. It was this fascination however, that led to Severus’ decision to become a Death Eater- a follower of Lord Voldemort. For a few years after he left Hogwarts, Severus obeyed the orders of the Dark Lord. It was only when he heard the Prophecy about myself and the detrimental implications this could have on the life of my mother, someone of whom Severus deeply loved even before his days at Hogwarts, that Severus sought to do something- anything to reverse the damage he had done. Having built up the courage to speak with Albus Dumbledore, Severus was determined to do anything in his power to protect my mother, Lily. Unfortunately, the plan failed and upon her death, Severus vowed to protect me from harm in honour of my mother’s sacrifice. As we all know, Severus kept his word and managed to fool Lord Voldemort as well as most of his followers and a majority of the Order of the Phoenix into believing he was a true death eater. The night that Voldemort was finally defeated, almost everyone present believed that Severus had also perished. However, due to the kindness of the Malfoys,” Harry nodded at Draco who was sitting in the third row from the front. “And Albus Dumbledore’s uncanny ability to plan in advance, Severus survived and remained in hiding for nineteen years. During that time, my wife Ginny and I had three children, one of whom we named Albus Severus, for it was only after I believed him dead, that I discovered that Severus’ true allegiance was with Dumbledore. We valued the bravery and loyalty Severus demonstrated throughout his life and wished to honour these qualities by naming our son after him. I was disappointed not to have the opportunity to speak to Severus about what he did and the feelings he had for my mother- I was not given the chance to reconcile with him after so many years of hatred and bitterness. But thankfully that opportunity arose some nineteen years later when Severus resumed teaching at Hogwarts. Our original meeting was not pleasant, but having spoken to one another, being honest and being open to the possibility of civility at the very least, Severus and I developed a friendship which I am happy to say remained strong until the day he died. Not only was he a friend to myself and my family but without even meaning to, he taught us many things about life… and love. His mere existence proved that Albus Dumbledore’s words from over one hundred years ago remain so very true: ‘It is our choices that define what we truly are.’ 

“When we look back on Severus’ life, it seems amazing that that same person has transformed from who he was a death eater to who he became as a friend- an inspiration to many. The choices he made through various times in his life truly defined who he was and despite the horrible way in which his life started, it ended with the people he loved most standing beside him.”  
Harry paused, smiling a little for he was deep in thought. Finally he resumed the Eulogy.  
“There are just over three hundred people attending this funeral and although I know Severus had friends, I doubt very much that he had this many.”  
There were a few small laughs in the crowd.  
“And I believe that the reason why most of you are attending today is not because you called Severus a ‘friend’, but because you could not help but honour the life this man has led. I hope I do not sound presumptuous,” Harry continued hastily, realising that if this were not true, they would have thought Harry was giving too much credit to Severus’ life, even though Harry knew his friend deserved every ounce of admiration.   
“Severus told me, towards the end of his life and throughout the many years when we were friends that he never expected his life to turn out this way; never expected that he would be liked or even respected; he felt that his choice to side with Lord Voldemort would tarnish his reputation forever. But without even knowing it, Severus made two choices, neither of which he thought would gain him anything except his own peace of mind that he did what was right: the decision to turn against Lord Voldemort to honour the death of my mother and the decision to rejoin the Wizarding World after nineteen years of solitude, risking the accusations and prejudices from fellow witches and wizards. These two choices, though made with tremendous risk, also changed his life for the better. And it seems to me that although Severus was thinking of himself when these choices were made in an effort to feel content within his very skin, I know these choices also made a huge difference to every single person here today. Severus Snape turned his life around, he made it better than he ever imagined life could be; he gained respect that even he himself felt he did not deserve, and he gained friendships that he thought were impossible. The actions that Severus made changed his life and as it would seem: the lives of all of us. So, we gather here today to celebrate, remember and cherish not only the generous, kind and selfless nature that Severus possessed as both a friend and a Headmaster, but however indirectly, the way in which Severus’ choices showed us how we too, can change our lives by being true to ourselves and believing that we deserve something more out of life.”

“I believe that most of you are aware of the tremendous part Severus had in the downfall of Lord Voldemort. When I reflect on both my life and his, I realise that if Severus made a different decision, if he chose not to honour my mother, if he continued to serve Voldemort, the Dark Lord may still be with us to this day- there is no way to tell for sure, but it is entirely possible. Severus’ choices may have changed not only his own life, but those of many, many others. For those who have remembered this, perhaps this is why you have attended today, to thank Severus for being strong enough to make that choice- brave enough to risk his life for the woman he loved. I remember, when my children were young and they first heard of Severus’ story, they called him brave and courageous and it was only that night when Severus admitted to my daughter that bravery is not something one is born with, but a quality that develops with one’s values and beliefs. Severus disliked it when people called him brave; although flattered, he never saw his actions as being anything short of necessary for he knew that doing anything different would lead to regret and unhappiness.”  
Suddenly Harry again thought of something he wished to add. Putting down his paper, Harry looked at the many pairs of eyes that were watching him and continued.  
“Please allow me to deter a little from my speech,” Harry said, smiling a little. “I just thought of yet another reason why some of you may have attended today… but perhaps I am just wasting my time- after all, it does not truly matter why people have chosen to attend Severus’ funeral. But I do not recognise many of you and I believe this is because you are ex-students of Severus’ when he was Headmaster, is that correct?” Various people among the crowd nodded their heads slightly.  
“I remember one memorable occasion during the days when Severus was Headmaster when he produced his Patronus for the entire school to see and admire. I must admit that this occurrence shocked me greatly; I knew how much Severus cherished his Patronus and kept it private whenever he could, so I was surprised, though elated none the less, that Severus was ready to show others just how much he loved my mother, reveal a part of himself that he normally did not discuss, let alone reveal. I remember when I first learnt that Severus’ Patronus was a doe, I immediately thought of two things: how deeply he must have loved my mother and how loyal he must have been to her- how much she became a part of him. It seemed amazing to me at the time that Severus, a previous Death Eater who marveled among the Dark Arts, could possibly love someone so deeply and selflessly. However, when I saw my mother’s doe gallop out of Severus’ wand, I could no longer doubt his affection for her. Severus was loyal to Lily, loved her, respected her and valued the friendship they shared until his dying day. Many of Severus’ choices were made because of this loyalty, so perhaps this is yet another reason why many of us are here- to treasure Severus’ intense loyalty which he possessed in abundance.”  
Harry turned back to his speech once again and continued:  
“Severus made all of these choices- all of these changes for himself and yet, it seems to me that these changes, not only affected Severus but all of those who witnessed or saw even portions of Severus’ life as he developed into someone that even he never thought he could be- live a life he never thought he could have but most of all, he was happy, a feeling he never thought he would feel again. Severus could do many things, but it is not what someone can do, but what they choose to do that shows who they truly are and Severus exemplifies what all of us hope for- that we will be happy at the end of our lives, feel accomplished, feel fulfilled when we die. Although his death was painful, I truly hope that Severus felt every one of these things when he left us. When my family and I first befriended Severus, after everything he had experienced in his life, the loss, the fear, the guilt, it took him a while to open up to us. There was a day, one that I will never forget and one I am sure Ginny would also find hard to ignore, when Severus gave us deep insight into his past. Although there were many emotional and extremely personal things we discovered about Severus that night, a particular moment resonated with me like nothing else had. Severus’ father, Tobias was a muggle and did not wish to have a child, let alone one that could do magic. He asserted that Severus was useless and that there was nothing his son could do to make him proud or grateful that Severus was alive- that Severus was his son. Unfortunately, Severus heard every word of his father’s assertion. I am not sure how much Severus’ choices and actions were affected by his father’s neglect and bitterness, but I know that all of us can safely say that Tobias Snape was very, very wrong. I would like to hope, that if Severus’ father was present here today, in spirit of course, that he would change his original proposition; I know that if I were Severus’ father, I would be really proud to call him my son, but in a way I have an even higher praise to give Severus.”  
Harry paused for a moment and was surprised that everyone was still paying rapt attention to his Eulogy; he had been talking for a while and thought that some people may have grown tired. However, Harry was both grateful and relieved that everyone was still listening.  
Taking a deep breath, Harry began the conclusion of Severus’ Eulogy and the greatest praise he felt he could give to such a man.  
“When I was a student at Hogwarts and heard the song of the Sorting Hat I was scared and anxious; what if I did not belong in any of the houses? But thankfully I was placed in Gryffindor and whilst I was at school, I discovered that I had talents, motives and values that were buried inside of me, qualities I never knew I had. As the years went on and I met other students from various houses, I thought that Sorting was not so hard after all. I looked at those from Hufflepuff and acknowledged that they were very loyal, as their house suggests, but they were also intelligent, cunning and brave, but not as much as they were true friends. Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, I found a similar pattern and although I never gave Slytherins as much credit as they deserve, I now acknowledge that they too reflected talents in resourcefulness more so than the qualities prized by the other houses. So to me, Sorting put people together whose strongest quality was that of bravery, loyalty, intelligence or resourcefulness. So where am I going with this? Please allow me to refer to Albus Dumbledore, who asserted many, many years ago, that after getting to know Severus more, he felt that Hogwarts sorted students into their houses at too young of an age; he felt it was possible that age gave people the opportunity to express even more of the hidden qualities they possess. Now that I have known Severus for over one hundred years, I can now see how very wrong it was of me to assume that Sorting was easy. Severus was placed in Slytherin, probably more for his ancestry and parentage, for his mother was a Slytherin, rather than for the talents and values he would later possess. If we take a moment, like we have during this very funeral to look back on Severus’ life, never before have I realised just how difficult it would be for me to now place Severus in a house. Severus has been deeply loyal to Lily and to my family; he has shown tremendous bravery as he risked his life for my mother and for Dumbledore; Severus was extremely talented and disciplined in Defense against the dark arts, Potion making and the art that is magic itself and furthermore, he is resourceful and cunning, because let us face it, fooling Lord Voldemort would not have been easy. Severus Snape suffered under the pretense, the stereotype, the prejudice that came with being in Slytherin and it was believed by many, including myself, that like many Slytherins during those times, Severus sought to protect himself before those of others. It was an assumption that, if we look back on it, never truly had any foundation to it except prejudice and sadly, it was this harsh discrimination that plagued Severus for much of his childhood. But still, despite all of his struggles and uncertainties about himself and who he was, Severus arose above all of it- above the taunts of his fellow students- above the accusations that were laid at his door. Not only did Severus Snape show that Slytherins are in no way different to any other house in their morals, but that it is possible for one person to possess all of the qualities that the Hogwarts founders prized. Severus will always be a reminder to me that we, as the human race have the ability to be anyone we want to be. Severus wanted more than anything to be happy and he was and in achieving that, he has proved to all of us here that despite the parting of ways between the Hogwarts Four, they will never truly be separated because people like Severus exist. Such people are rare and far between, and I feel honoured to be able to call such a magnificent person my friend. Let Severus Snape always be a reminder that no matter who we are born to be, no matter what we can do, or what others may think of us, what truly matters is who we choose to be. From the bottom of my heart I thank Severus, wherever he may be, for teaching me, however indirectly, that valuable lesson. His life is truly worth remembering and I have no doubt that Severus Snape will never be forgotten. We miss you Severus and please…. Rest in peace, my friend.”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the formalities of the funeral, Harry and his family endured many people shaking their hands, hugging them, apologizing for their loss, when all they wanted to do was go home and continue mourning Severus’ death alone.   
After shaking what felt like the millionth hand, Harry was distracted by the different tone of voice coming from the man whose hand he was shaking.  
“I’m very sorry for your loss, Professor Potter,” the man said in a rather professional tone.  
“Thank you,” Harry responded looking into the man’s eyes, vaguely recognizing them.  
“Do I know you?” Harry asked uncertainly.  
“You did,” the man replied, nodding. “My name is Trevor Johnston, James beat me up in one of your classes- and rightly so,” Trevor admitted.   
Although Harry now felt a little bitter towards the man, he could not bring himself to show it at such an occasion.  
“I recall,” Harry replied nodding. “Thank you for coming,” he added, then turned away to find Ginny.  
“Professor Potter,” Trevor said suddenly, going after Harry. “I wish I could say I came here to honour Professor Snape, but- I didn’t, though I am glad I came. I am here to give you this,” Trevor stated, handing Harry a large, sealed, parchment envelope.   
“What is this?” Harry asked, sincerely confused.  
“I work for the ministry, Professor Potter. That envelope contains Severus Snape’s Will. The ministry examined it briefly and it is my designated job to deliver it to you. Normally a Ministry official would be present when you read it, but the ministry considered it rather unnecessary for your family- well- they thought it best if you read it with your family without an intruder, especially someone who does not care for Severus as you do. I wish you all the best, Professor Potter and um-” Trevor added, looking nervous. “I apologise for not understanding; I was gravely ignorant and arrogant.”  
Harry put up his hand. “It is okay, that was in the past.” Then looking at the envelope in his hands, he continued. “Thank you for this. I appreciate it.”  
“It is my pleasure, Professor Potter,” Trevor replied, shaking Harry’s hand and leaving the ceremony, Harry’s eyes following him out.

“Who was that?” Ginny asked, standing beside Harry and holding onto his arm.  
“An ex-student of mine who is now working for the Ministry.”  
“Oh, did he give you his best wishes?”  
“Mmm, and he gave me Severus’ Will,” Harry said, holding up his right hand briefly so Ginny could see the envelope. Ginny gasped, looking wide eyed at the parchment.  
“I- I totally forgot about the- about his- oh my goodness…” Ginny trailed off. “I’ll- I’ll get the family- um where should we go? Who should come?”  
“Grimmauld Place… whoever wants to come,” Harry replied absent mindedly, his mind on the fact that he too completely forgot about Severus’ Will- he never gave a thought to it and frankly, he feared what it may contain. If it was as simple as designating the owner of Spinner’s End, surely Trevor would have told him that. But by the way Trevor spoke; there was something more personal contained in Severus’ Will. 

An hour later, after saying goodbye to those who attended Severus’ funeral, Harry, Ginny, James, Albus, Lily, Rose, Scorpius, Hugo, Ron and Hermione had assembled in the living room of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, exhausted and emotionally drained from the last few days. Every now and then, a pair of eyes could be seen eyeing the envelope that rested on the coffee table for all to see. Once every one was seated and silent, Harry stood, picked up the envelope and opened it without saying a word. Having stared at the first page for a few seconds, giving himself the time to return to reality and the possible impact this document could have on all of them, Harry began:  
“The Will and Testimony of Severus Snape,” Harry said quietly, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Pausing, he skimmed through the technical areas of the law until he reached the following:  
“All of the property pertained to Severus Snape is now hereby the property of Harry James Potter. This includes Mr Snape’s house in Spinner’s End as well as all of its contents.” Harry paused yet again to stare at the minute writing at the bottom of the page which had an asterix beside it. Having skimmed through what the dot point said, Harry repeated it to his family.  
“Severus Snape indicated within his Will that he understands that Mr Potter is not much younger than himself and consequently, he hopes that his property will be passed onto Mr Potter’s children when he too, passes on. Mr Snape wished to make it clear that his property, although designated as Mr Potter’s, is meant to be shared among Mr Potter’s wife and three children.”  
Harry looked up for a moment, hoping that someone would break the thick and somewhat eerie silence; although the reading of the Will was not bad so far, Harry has the feeling it was about to get worse.  
Harry turned to look back at the parchment and kept reading.  
“Severus put into the Ministry’s possession particular gifts, which he wanted, upon his death, be given to the addressee. Through the magic contained within this Will, Mr Snape’s request will be upheld. It should also be noted that these possessions belong to the recipient and not to Mr Potter. The magic works so that only the person to whom the gift is addressed may possess it and touch it. Therefore, these gifts are not present with the Will, but will appear when each individual’s name is read out. It should be noted that the names that follow will receive something upon the reading of their name, so it is necessary that they are present within twenty metres of the individual reading out the Will. Upon the completion of reading this Will, the physical record of the Will will be summoned back to the Ministry, so that the original record is kept in a safe and secure location. If you wish for a copy, please contact the Ministry of Magic. On behalf of the Ministry, we are sorry for your loss…” Harry read out and then stared silently at the list of names that followed.  
Harry took a deep breath and read the list, slowly.  
“Ginevra Potter.” Ginny looked up quickly, only to feel a rough parchment envelope between her fingers. It seemed to appear out of nowhere directly into her hands. Everyone stared at Ginny and the letter momentarily, before turning back to Harry, who continued.  
“James Potter.” Sure enough, the exact same thing happened. James looked down and saw that the letter was addressed to him in Severus’ hand writing; he could only imagine what the contents would say.  
“Albus Potter.” Albus held the letter tightly to him as Harry read the final two names.  
“Lily Harrison.” It didn’t escape anyone’s notice that Lily’s envelope, though the same size, was substantially thicker than the previous three letters addressed to her brothers and mother.  
“Harry Potter,” Harry whispered as he too received a reasonably full envelope and caught it just as the Will disappeared before them.  
For a moment, everyone sat in silence, staring at the letter they had either received or a letter that someone near them was holding. No one was sure why they weren’t moving, why they were not eager to rip open the envelopes to read the parchment. After Severus’ death, none of them expected to hear from the man again- had accepted the fact that Severus would never be able to communicate with them again. But now that the Potters had the opportunity to know his last thoughts, his last messages to them, they were not sure if they were ready yet. None of them ever expected this and yet somehow, they felt foolish for thinking that Severus wouldn’t leave them with something, anything- but not this…  
Without saying a word, Harry stood up and walked to his and Ginny’s bedroom, closing the door behind him. His hands shaking, he carefully opened the envelope and upon seeing what was inside, he lay the contents out on the bed. Staring back at him was a photo of beautiful woman with long, red hair and bright green eyes- his eyes. Harry’s mother was apparently laughing at him from a photo that Harry recognised immediately as the one Severus took from Sirius’ room over one hundred years ago. Harry looked slightly to the left and saw a piece of parchment that was not written in Severus’ writing, but his mother’s. Again Harry recognised it as being the one Severus’ tears fell upon as he reminisced of Lily and her love…  
Harry couldn’t help but smile a little; he was happy that Severus had kept these mementoes and although he never expected to have possession of them, he received some comfort from holding his mother’s picture and letter in his hands. Picking up the letter that was addressed to him, written in small, cramped writing, Harry laid it out flat and began to read.

Dear Harry,  
I trust that the letter and photo I have given you have not been forgotten. I am sure since first seeing these images in my memories they have remained in your mind; not only were they a sign that your mother truly lived in this world, but they also showed exactly what she meant to me.   
You reading this means one thing: I am no longer living and consequently, I want you to have these two objects, which I admit I have prized for decades. Lily truly was an amazing woman and there was not a day that went by that I did not think of her.  
However, the reason for writing this letter was not to remind you how wonderful your mother was because you already know. The main reason why I have written this letter is to articulate what I never could whilst I was alive, so please forgive me for not telling you this sooner.

After nineteen years of dwelling in my home thinking about Lily, the mistakes I made and the choices I wish I could change, I realised that what I feared most about returning to the Wizarding World was not only how people would react to the choices I made, but after all the pain my love for Lily had caused me, that someone would tell me to move on from her- act as if she meant nothing to me. When I befriended you and told you just how much Lily affected my life, I feared that some time later, perhaps after years or even decades, you would try to convince me that I should meet new women and perhaps even get married. Everyday I waited, however silently and however cautiously I hid my fear, I was waiting for you to say that although Lily was a wonderful person, she is not my whole life and that I should perhaps meet other women at the very least. I kept waiting, Harry, but you never once suggested it. Anyone who does not know you may have said that that was because you wanted me to continue loving your mother; after all why would you want me to stop caring for her? But after ten years or so, I knew that you were my friend for who I was, not because of what Lily meant to me. I knew that you wanted me to be happy and upon writing this letter, you still have not suggested that I move past the love I felt for her and I am glad you did not.  
You know that my Patronus is still a doe- that your mother is still a part of me- you knew that I had come to terms with my intense love for her and you knew that suggesting I make myself available would only cause me pain, not joy.   
For many years now I have learned to embrace the love I have for your mother and make it a joyous rather than a guilt-ridden feeling. I am at peace with my love, at peace with my guilt and you knew somehow, someway that I was happy- that I did not need another woman to love because you knew that I would never be able to love anyone as much as I loved Lily. I believe- no- I know that that is what you were thinking, feeling- that is what you knew and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for understanding me, and believing that I am worth your time and consideration. It has meant so much to me that you did not try to change who I was; you knew that I had the power within me to change my own life and for that, I thank you.

However, there is one last thing I wish to tell you. I believed, I admit, for most of my life that I would never love anyone as much as I love your mother and let us accept it; no one would have considered the possibility that I could care for anyone like I cared for Lily. But I was wrong, you were wrong, we were all wrong. You and your family mean everything to me and although I do not love you in the same way I loved your mother, there is no doubt in my mind that my leaving you- knowing that I will never have another Christmas or another meal with you will be hardest thing I have EVER had to do in my life; leaving the family that proved to me that I was worthy of their love, causing that family so much pain, knowing that my absence will pain you, makes writing this letter extremely difficult.  
I never felt the need to meet another woman or have any other company other than your own because I was already happy- I needed nothing else than to be a part of your family, and I thank you and your family for loving me the way you did. And Harry, please remember, however hard it may be at this moment- that no matter what happens, I loved you too.  
I miss you.

Goodbye, Harry.  
Love Severus.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Watching her father walk up the stairs, Lily took her letter and went to her old bedroom, closing the door behind her. She too, carefully opened the letter, bracing herself for whatever was going to come. Lily smiled a little at the sight of Severus’ writing, his writing just for her- she never thought she would ever experience such joy again.   
Lying on her bed, Lily held the letter in front of her face and began to read.

To dearest Lily,  
I was not sure whether I should leave this message for you, but after much thought and contemplation, I decided that I would not be able to leave you knowing that you would never find out the truth- never knowing how I felt. What I am about to write will hurt Lily, and trust me when I say that I never meant to hurt you, but this letter is more of a selfish one because in all honesty, you could do without knowing this- but now that I have written this letter I can now peacefully rest, knowing that I have a clear conscience.  
Your father knows some of what I am about to tell you, but not everything- I admit that I kept the more painful side of it, from him- from all of you.  
The moment I became of age, I moved out of home and into my own place. Believe it or not, my father actually supplied me with another house in which I could live just so that he would not be required to look at his failure of a son. I gladly took the house he offered me, but my mother was, I believe, rather upset that I had left. I told myself that I would continue to visit her, even though I knew my father would probably become violent and abusive. In the end, I decided it was too much of a risk for my mother’s life; despite her being a witch. She must have loved my father too much to actually curse him, and I suppose the ministry would have caught her eventually, so she decided never to use magic as a means of controlling him. So, I stopped visiting my parents altogether. Despite how guilty I felt, I believed it was for the best. When my father died from a liver disease fifteen years later, I told myself that I would make the effort to visit my mother, but I never did though I believe she did try to find me. I was teaching at Hogwarts at the time. Consequently she did not find me at home. A couple of years later, when I was living in Spinner’s End after the downfall of the Dark Lord, I found it strange that I never once heard from my mother and yet I was sure she came to Spinner’s End five years previously to find me. Consequently, I decided to make the effort to find out where and how she was. She was still living in my previous home- the one in which I grew up- but she was ill. I took her to St. Mungos and she was diagnosed with the same illness that you, yourself diagnosed me with yesterday. At the age of 40 or so, the Healers at the time told me that they could do some check ups and the necessary procedures in order to ensure that I would not suffer what my mother was already suffering. I told them that I would think about it, but I never did. I felt that I was selfish for living in hiding for a couple of years, not even thinking about my mother who had supported me when I was a child, in spite of my father orders. I always appreciated the things she did do for me, but I never once showed it. My mother suffered alone in that house and I was not there for her like she had been for me. So upon finding her, upon hearing that I may also suffer the same fate, I decided not to give myself freedom from such a disease. Like my mother suffered, I wanted to suffer; I felt that in a way this genetic disease reminded me that I had a part of my mother with me… as if I had not completely abandoned her. I left my mother to be cared for by Healers in St. Mungos and I visited my mother every so often. Although I did not stay by her bedside everyday (though I probably should have), I watched her die and it was painful for me- she was my mother, but in reality I didn’t truly know her.   
I never dreamed that I would befriend Harry Potter and his family, but had I known, I may have reconsidered the Healer’s offer all those years ago. I never dreamed that anyone would mourn for me because I planned to die alone. My mother died about seventeen years later, she lived longer than the Healers were expecting. The night that Greyback took the Polyjuice potion and imitated my appearance, was the day of my mother’s funeral; it was the reason why I was unable to attend dinner before 7pm. When I received the news that she had died, I felt terrible; I was not there with her and after everything she did for me, I felt guilty and regretted many things as I made my way to Grimmauld Place. Naturally these feelings escaped me the moment I entered the room and was confronted with a replica of myself, but afterwards, my thoughts continued to plague me. I knew I still had time to go to St. Mungos and have the operation to remove the gene responsible for that terrible illness. I knew that I was becoming closer to your family and I realised that it was quite possible that my illness may not only affect myself, but you as well. Nevertheless, I did not make the effort; I felt I didn’t deserve such freedom from such suffering. I thought about all of the terrible things I did in my life with regard to my mother, Harry and Lily and realised that I deserved it. It was to be my fate and in a matter of days I had accepted that that would be the way I would die.   
But as the years went on and I became to consider your family as my family, I began to wish I could have travelled back in time and make a different choice. Because if I knew one thing, it was this: I did not want to cause you or your family any pain. But as you know, by that time, it was too late; you were to suffer what I had many years before and I was to suffer what my poor mother suffered. Your father believes that I knew that I had this illness since my mother died, when the Healers may not have been able to do anything about it. I did not have the guts to tell him that I had not only been able to guarantee prevention, but that I had experienced what I knew you and your family were about to suffer because of me.  
But the main reason why I wish to tell you this is because, when I first decided that I deserved this pain, deserved what I received, I thought I was worthless, that my illness would affect no one but myself, that I would die alone and that no one would care. That was how I felt about myself, that is all the worth I saw in me. But ever since I befriended you and your family, over time, I began to feel like perhaps I could have friends and someone to talk to. After a matter of years, I knew that not only was that possible but that I was also loved, cared for, respected and a part of a family- I was happy. Although I once thought myself as worthless, you and the rest of your family spent the rest of my life not only convincing me otherwise, but showing me, encouraging me to prove that I was more than I ever thought I could be. Although I have yet to die, I know without a doubt in my mind that you will make me feel worthwhile, valued and loved until I take my last breath. I made this terrible decision due to feelings of worthlessness, but I will die feeling anything but worthless and it is thanks to you and your wonderful family that I die a happy man.  
Thank you for caring for me the way you did; there is no higher honour than to be respected and loved by you.  
I will miss you, Lily.  
Take care of yourself.  
Love Severus

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Harry walked out of his and Ginny’s bedroom. Just before he reached the stairs, Harry heard sobs coming from Lily’s bedroom.  
“Lily?” Harry said, opening his daughter’s door a little bit, not wishing to disturb her privacy if that is what she wanted. But Lily did not hear her father over her sobs. Harry slid into the room and closed the door gently behind him and moved towards the curled up, sobbing figure that was lying on the bed.  
Knowing only too well that Lily was upset about whatever it was that Severus left her, Harry had no reason to ask what was wrong. Instead, he sat gently on the bed, scaring Lily a little, but after recovering from the initial shock of her father’s presence, Lily sat up and clung to her father, sobbing onto his shoulder.   
Except for Lily’s soft sobs, there was silence; nothing was spoken between them; there was no need.   
As he hugged his daughter, Harry reached out to pick up the letter Severus had written for Lily and read it. By the end, Harry was crying too, however silently- Severus’ last words to them made both Lily and Harry miss him even more, if that were even possible…

 

Dear Albus,  
It has been about one hundred years since I discovered you were named after me and yet, I still cannot believe I was given such an honour. Your parents intended to honour me; they expected that one day you would feel privileged to know that you were named after two excellent wizards and perhaps you do, but I could not be more proud that my name is not only connected to a talented wizard, but a kind friend, an admirable human being and someone I truly care about.  
Stored in a cupboard in my potions lab are several potions that you may find useful, please feel free to use them- and note that these are not the property of your father’s; they are yours to keep.  
Love Severus  
P.S. Make sure you and your siblings continue to have Christmas with your parents, even though I am not there- never pass up the opportunity to spend time together.

 

Dear Ginny,  
Many, many years ago I remember catching you and Neville Longbottom attempting to steal Gryffindor’s sword from the Headmaster’s office… I remember Horace Slughorn bragging about the very talented Ginny Weasley who was extremely skilled at both hexing and jinxes. It is amazing that that student is now a wonderful mother to three amazing children, the wife of the Dark Lord’s downfall and most importantly, one of my dearest friends. I knew back then, back when you were a student, that you were gifted in magic (though I never would have admitted it), but I never dreamed that you could also be so kind, so generous and so forgiving. The fact that you are reading this letter means two things: I have passed on and that you, Ginny Potter are one of my dearest friends and if you will permit me to say it: a member of my family.   
There are no words to describe the full extent of how I feel, so I will end this letter by saying this: thank you for allowing me to become a part of your family- thank you for being someone I can talk to, someone I can trust; my life truly began the night I was able to talk to you without fear of judgment.  
Thank you so much for everything you have done for me.  
Love Severus  
P.S. I meant to tell you and Harry that when I was young, one of the lesser reasons as to why I loathed James was because I really wished to learn how to play Quidditch. To me, being able to fly, to escape the world below always seemed to be such a wonderful experience and I longed to escape the painful life I led back then. It was my intention to learn, but I always had other things to do and never had enough time. I have not seen you fly for a long time and although I have no idea what it feels like, your intense passion for it can only mean that it was a wonderful experience. Do not pass up such an opportunity, Ginny- don’t forget to fly…

 

Dear James,  
I always felt the need to tell you what I am about to say, but never had the guts to utter the words, especially in front of Harry. But just between us, I wish to tell you that your grandfather, though harsh and ruthless as a student, grew up to be more of a man than I ever thought he could be. Although he married the only woman I ever loved and stole the life I always dreamed of having, he was worthy because he loved her as much as I. Although he was occasionally pompous and bragged frequently about his love for Lily, I now realise that he was simply hiding the true, deep feelings he had for her. When Voldemort discovered where they were hiding, it is common knowledge that James stood in front of Lily and Harry in the heat of attack, but also to allow them the possibility of escaping; he risked his life in the hope that they would have a second chance at it. It is unfortunate that his actions did not lead to the same consequences as Lily’s sacrifice did, because that may mean that Lily would still be with us today, but I have no doubt in my mind, that given the choice he would have stood before them, protected them until he no longer could. It took me many years to realise it, but James had deeper feelings than he ever showed to anyone and having known your father for many years, it is not possible that he inherited all of his goodness, all of his principles from his mother alone; his father, the late James Potter must also have been a good person.  
James, I want you to know, if you didn’t already, that despite what your grandfather did to me, he always wished to protect and be there for Lily- he became a good man, as are you and I feel privileged to have befriended the eldest son of Harry Potter. Knowing you, spending time with you, watching you grow up into the man you are today has truly been an honour.  
Love Severus  
P.S. I am never far away.

James looked away from the parchment as if he suddenly could sense something around him. There was a presence with him- with his entire family; Severus was there, watching them read his letters and as James stood up to find the rest of his family, he knew that Severus was close to them- he had kept his promise…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

11 days later  
“I’m glad you’re back Professor Potter,” a small girl said as Harry walked down the corridor towards the Great Hall for dinner.  
“Thank you, Miss Torvil,” Harry replied, smiling a little as the girl ran to catch up to her friends.  
It was the day after Harry’s first day back as Headmaster of Hogwarts, for he had taken two weeks leave after Severus’ passing.  
In a way Harry was happy to be back because it distracted him from his family, who was still mourning. He doubted whether they would ever be the same again, especially Lily, but on the other hand, he was now back at the place where he and Severus first met, the place where Severus’ body was buried…

Resuming his position at the head of the staff table, looking over the many students, Harry began to eat the Hogwarts food, created by the house elves, which he had to admit, he missed- not that Ginny’s cooking was not delicious, but being back at Hogwarts and eating the food made Harry feel a little happier. The other staff members, none of whom knew Severus as well as he, acted a little cautiously around Harry as if the mention of Severus’ name would make him upset. Apparently they could detect Harry’s edginess.

On his right sat the Deputy Headmistress who was also the Astronomy professor at Hogwarts and the head of Hufflepuff house. Reaching across, touching Harry’s arm, she whispered:  
“I am terribly sorry for your loss, Harry.”  
Harry was pleasantly surprised; he was not expecting the staff to say anything to him after almost two days of silence, but was glad nonetheless that Professor Jensen was not remaining silent like the other Professors.  
“Thank you, Ariel, I appreciate that,” Harry replied quietly, smiling a little at her, and she too smiled back.

After dinner, Harry was eager to leave the Great Hall; it seemed that every student was looking at him, his colleagues were watching him and he hated their staring eyes. Even though he knew their intentions were good, he wanted to be alone. Harry was tempted to return to his office to rest, but like yesterday, he didn’t feel like confronting the many Headmasters and Headmistresses resting in their portraits and didn’t want to see the look on Dumbledore’s face, or Severus’…  
Tonight was not going to be any different and so Harry made to take several detours on the way back to his office, hoping not to come across anyone; student, portrait or colleague.   
But Harry was not in luck.  
“Professor Potter!” A male voice called after him, apparently out of breath.  
Harry spun around to see his Care of Magical Creatures professor running after him up the stairs, so stopped walking to wait for him to catch up.  
“I need to tell you something,” the man puffed, reaching the top of the stairs.   
“What is it?” Harry asked looking concerned; it was not often that a professor would ask him a question after dinner, unless it was important or private.  
Once the professor caught his breath, he gestured that Harry should move with him into an empty classroom.  
“First thing this morning, I was teaching a class of fifth years. I was showing them the family of unicorns that are now living in the Forest- you are aware they are there?” Professor Tibet added suddenly, hoping that the Headmaster would not object to the creatures being present at the school. Harry had no objection and indicated that Professor Tibet should continue.  
“The unicorns were a fair way into the forest, next to a few trees. I led the students there and thought I would place some small barriers around the unicorns just in case they were scared and ran towards the students by accident. I made to put up the suitable spells, but they- they- wouldn’t work…” the man trailed off.  
Harry stared at Professor Tibet, wondering what the man was implying. He was about to ask him why; was there something wrong with the man’s wand? But then he clicked in- Harry understood what had happened, but just incase Professor Tibet didn’t, Harry asked kindly.  
“What would you like me to do?”   
The professor paused before answering.  
“I believe there is something hidden there that prevents any magic from being cast… I do not know what it is- but I thought that perhaps you…” but the man trailed off once again.  
Harry nodded. “I apologise- I momentarily forgot those enchantments were still in place- I will get rid of them for you tonight.”  
“Thank you, but no rush Professor-”  
Harry put up his hand to silence the young man. “I will do it now-”  
“But it’s late, it can wait until-”  
“I feel like a walk, so now is as a good a time as any,” Harry asserted, smiling. “I thank you for coming to me Andrew, some Professors would have taken it into their own hands to remove the spells-”  
“I thought it may be important,” Andrew Tibet muttered.  
“It is, which is why I thank you,” Harry whispered, leaving the classroom in which he and his colleague were talking.  
Harry was excited; he had completely forgotten about the Resurrection Stone that he and Severus placed in the forest all those years ago. Running out of the castle, Harry made his way to the forest, dying to speak to his mother, hoping that she knew how Severus was. Of course, Harry could simply go to his office and ask Severus’ portrait, but he wasn’t ready for that- not yet…

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Harry’s coming,” Lily announced. “I can’t wait to see him again; it’s been far too long!” she exclaimed, dying to see her son.  
“We better get ready to appear then,” Remus asserted, standing next to the gaping hole that led to the living world. “Goodness knows he will want to talk to all of us,’ he added, smiling a little.   
“Well obviously, it’s been what? At least one hundred and fifty years- I’ve lost count!” Sirius said.  
“Mmm, it has been a while,” James agreed, walking over to stand next to his wife.   
“You coming, Sev?” Lily asked Severus, smiling at him.  
“No thank you,” Severus mumbled, barely audibly.  
“You’re not coming?” Lily replied, looking concerned. “Why not?”  
“You do know that one of the reasons he is coming here is to find out if you are okay,” James pointed out.  
“I am sure the four of you can handle telling him that I am perfectly fine,” Severus snapped back a little harshly.  
“And then inform him that: ‘Snivellus should be here, but he was too chicken to show himself’-”  
“Be quiet Sirius,” James berated his best friend. “If Severus does not wish to come then-”  
“Are you serious?” Sirius demanded. “What would your son say if he found out? Do not think for a moment that I will keep this a secret from him.”  
“Just shut your mouth and Harry will know no different- you can inform him that you have seen me and that I am fine- I am sure that is what he would prefer-” Severus snapped at Sirius.  
“What are you talking about?” James asked, feeling confused. “Why are you speaking this way?”  
“Harry’s here, I need to go,” Lily cut in. Then turning to Remus, Sirius and James, she whispered: “You can stay here; Harry wishes to talk to me about Severus so that will give you some time.” Turning to Severus, Lily gave him a warm smile and then disappeared through the gaping hole to see her son.

“Why don’t you wish to show yourself, Severus?” Remus asked, walking a bit closer to the man.  
“I hardly have to justify my reasons to you, now go and speak to Harry, he would want to see you after everything that has happened,” Severus insisted, though ended on a solemn note, knowing that Harry’s suffering was due to him.  
“You know that the person he would want to see most is you,” James asserted kindly, hoping to change Severus’ mind.  
“If that is so, why has he avoided his office since he returned to Hogwarts? Do not tell me you haven’t noticed,” Severus persisted, staring at each of them in turn.  
“He is not ready-” James explained.  
“So you think he is ready to see me now? He expects to see the four of you and that is what he will see, now leave!” Severus hissed dangerously.  
“Harry will want to see you, Severus. I know Harry will be extremely upset if you had the opportunity to present yourself in such a way but chose not to because you thought he would want to see you,” Remus pointed out, try to gently reason with Severus.  
“If he wanted to talk to me, he would have walked into his office and spoken to my portrait,” Severus persisted. “I am not going to put him through anymore pain. When he has mourned for a while longer, then I will appear-”  
“But what if he never has that opportunity again?” Sirius yelled. “He would have lost the only opportunity he had to see you!”  
“He isn’t ready-”  
“Listen to me, Severus,” James interrupted, getting slightly angry now. “We all know what Harry has been through the past couple of weeks; we can all feel it- his pain- his hurt- his fear. Severus, you know very well that Harry is not ready to face Dumbledore or your portrait just yet, because that is to accept the fact that you are truly dead, truly gone, but this- this is different- it is important for Harry to know that you are still here with him and I insist that you show yourself!” James yelled, standing over Severus.  
Severus stood up, looking back at James with as calm of an expression that he could muster.  
“I can’t-”  
“Do not be so selfish, Severus! My son is in pain, he misses you, he loves you and we all know he wants to see you, so move yourself through that hole and show him that you still care-”  
“I can’t!” Severus repeated.  
“What do you mean you can’t?” Remus asked, looking concerned.  
“If Harry wishes to see you, you can show yourself, it is as simple as that,” Sirius explained, a bark-like edge in his voice.  
“It is not that,” Severus mumbled, sitting down, pulling his eyes away from James’ intense hazel ones.  
“Then what are you talking about?” James asked, his jaw clenched as he kneeled down to look into Severus’ eyes…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Hi Mum,” Harry breathed, relieved to see his mother for the first time in years, soaking in the deep red hair so like his daughter’s, and her gorgeous green eyes, just like Albus’.  
“Hello Harry,” Lily whispered smiling. “How are you, Sweetie?”  
“I’ve been better,” Harry admitted a little sadly. “Where are Remus, Sirius and Dad?”  
“Oh, they won’t be long.”  
“Well that is good, because I wanted to talk to you about Severus. Have you seen him since he passed away?” Harry asked eagerly, staring into his mother’s beautiful green eyes.  
Lily paused before answering. “Yes, I have,” she smiled.  
“Is he okay?” Harry asked, more eagerly still.  
“He is,” Lily replied nodding.  
Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Talk to us, Severus,” James persisted, though in a much gentler tone.  
“And endure the snide remarks of Black over here?” Severus shouted, pointing at Sirius.  
“Sirius won’t say a thing unless it is constructive,” James replied, looking at Sirius with an expression that implied that he better be civil.  
Severus looked between the three men as if trying to gauge whether they would go back on their word. But all three of them were looking at him eagerly, anticipating what could possibly be disturbing him.  
“What if I can’t come back,” Severus mumbled just loud enough for them to hear.  
“What do you mean?” Remus asked hesitantly.  
“Harry will not ask you to stay with him,” James reinforced.   
“I know,” Severus replied nodding.  
“Then what is concerning you?” James continued.  
Severus looked into James’ eyes and replied: “What if I do not wish to return?”  
“Why would you want to stay?” James asked, looking back into Severus’ intense, black eyes.  
Severus gulped. “I miss him- all of them. What if I see Harry and then decide to stay with him? Be with him so it’s a little easier-”  
“It will not be easier, Severus,” Remus consoled him.   
“I know, but I prefer to be with them-”  
“But it will not help-”  
“I know! I am being selfish!” Severus shouted.  
“Calm down, Severus,” James said soothingly, placing a hand on Severus’ shoulder. Severus turned to look at the hand, but didn’t push it away.  
“I wanted to do the same thing,” Sirius admitted, causing everyone to look at him. “When I died, Voldemort was going after Harry and I wanted nothing better than to resurrect and be there with him as he went through hell,” Sirius admitted. “But I had Lily and James with me,” Sirius added, smiling at James.  
“We convinced Sirius to stay with us, to not go back if Harry were to ever find and use the Resurrection Stone. Lily and I struggled with that too. Even though we had no idea the Resurrection Stone existed, we so badly wanted to return to Harry in any way, shape or form, even as ghosts; we knew how the Dursleys would treat him. But we couldn’t- it was probably the hardest thing we ever had to cope with.”  
Severus simply stared at James, finally asking: “You wanted to go back as well?”  
“Of course we did!” Sirius asserted. “We all love Harry and wanted to be with him, but we couldn’t and when the opportunity arose as Harry walked into the Forbidden Forest, we promised each other we wouldn’t stay. We were there for each other.”  
“I doubt I will have your strength,” Severus replied a little bitterly.  
“You have got to be kidding me,” James replied, smiling a little. “Severus Snape, the man my son honours above all others- who could be a member of every house in Hogwarts, does not believe he is as courageous as any of us?”  
“I was a skinny, pale Slytherin who loved the dark arts, remember?” Severus snapped back.  
“Didn’t you attend your funeral? Didn’t you listen to the words that came out of my son’s mouth? In his eyes, you beat all of us hands down, Severus. You are courageous, intelligent, loyal and resourceful… in a way I am slightly offended,” James added in a joking manner.  
“Well your son was mistaken- when it comes to this- I do not wish to risk causing more pain to someone I care about, so for the last time, go to him- he needs you-”  
“No, Severus, he needs you! He knows you far better than any of us and if anyone were a comfort to him it would be you,” James insisted, grabbing hold of Severus’ shoulders.  
Severus looked at the man holding him and whispered:  
“I miss your son- when I see him, I know I will not want to leave his side.”  
“You won’t have to leave; you are with him all the time, we all are and he needs to know that,” James whispered back.  
“I don’t want to cause him anymore pain than he has already suffered because of me,” Severus admitted with great sincerity, that James struggled not to show some emotion.  
“I know, but I can feel it- Harry wants to see you to know you are okay, please do not deny him of that, even if it does hurt him a little. I will not be able to look my son in the eye knowing that I allowed you to stay here.”  
“I won’t come back,” Severus asserted as if he knew that the power of his emotions when he laid eyes on Harry would consume all reason.  
James stood up, gesturing Remus and Sirius towards him so that the three men were towering over Severus.  
“We,” James said, gesturing to his friends and himself. “Will make sure you come back.”  
Sirius nodded.  
“Absolutely,” Remus agreed. “We know how hard it will be, but we will be there for you, as will Lily of course.”  
Severus looked between the three of them- not quite believing that there was a time when the men before him purposefully made his life hell and would never have considered helping him out. But Severus continued to stare as if trying to detect whether they were really being truthful, honest, kind…  
Breaking the silence, Sirius exclaimed: “What are you staring at, Severus? Come on, let’s go; I cannot wait to see the look on Harry’s face!” Grabbing hold of Severus’ hand, Sirius pulled him up with great enthusiasm and then jumped through the hole into a whole other dimension. Soon it was just Severus and James left, for Remus and Sirius had already transported themselves to the other side.  
“It will be okay, Severus. Are you ready?” James asked kindly.  
Severus nodded.   
“Just jump through,” James continued, gesturing towards the hole.  
Taking a deep breath, Severus jumped.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Once Severus landed, he crouched a little and stood behind Sirius and Remus so that Harry could not see him… yet.  
“Hi Sirius, Remus, Dad. How are you?”  
“We are great, Harry and yourself?” Remus replied.  
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Harry said. “Have you- have you seen Severus since he- since he died?” Harry asked a little hesitantly, not sure how they would react to being asked about their nemesis.  
To Harry’s surprise, the four people in front of him smiled.  
“What?” Harry asked, smiling a little.  
“Yes, we have seen him,” James replied, laughing a little.  
“What, Dad?” Harry asked, greatly amused now. “You didn’t go back to your old ways did you?”  
“No, to the contrary,” Sirius replied. “Your father basically welcomed Severus with open arms,” Sirius laughed.  
“So he is okay, then?” Harry asked, relieved that they were happy to talk about Severus.  
“Why don’t you ask him for yourself?” James asked, turning around and smiling at Severus who smiled back.  
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, his heart pounding.  
Then suddenly, as if out of nowhere, Harry saw Severus standing in front of him; he looked about 38, the age he was when Harry finished his schooling at Hogwarts.  
Harry’s jaw dropped. Everyone around him was smiling. Once Harry got over the initial shock, he closed his mouth and stared deeply into Severus’ eyes.  
“Severus,” Harry breathed.  
“Good evening, Harry,” Severus whispered, taking in Harry’s image, realising just how much he missed his friend.  
Having found his voice, Harry couldn’t stop himself from talking:  
“I am so sorry I wasn’t there when you d-”  
“Harry-”  
“I really wanted to be there with you, but I-”  
“Harry-”  
“I thought I would never forgive myself for-”  
“Harry!” Severus said, raising his voice. “Stop,” he said gently, walking towards him, not able to take his eyes off Harry, wanting to make it perfectly clear to him that he, Severus was okay. “I forgive you.”  
A wave of relief- a weight lifted off Harry’s shoulders as he allowed Severus’ forgiveness to envelope him. After a moment, Harry found his voice again.  
“I- I never thought I would see you again,” Harry admitted.  
“Did you honestly believe you could get rid of me that easily?” Severus joked, but in a kind and gentle manner.  
Harry didn’t answer Severus, but continued to stare at him.  
“Are- are you okay?” Harry asked rather quietly.  
“I am well, Harry,” Severus replied giving him a smile of reassurance.  
Harry let those words fill him up; he felt so relieved. Then, coming back to reality, Harry asked rather hesitantly:  
“So, um, what are you doing here? Did you realise that I wanted to see you and then came here or did I summon you or?” Harry felt confused, but his hesitancy only made Severus smile still further.  
“Neither of those, Harry,” Severus replied, looking forward to the moment when reality finally hit him.   
“Then…” Harry stood there, looking at Severus, thinking. Suddenly, Harry felt a warm feeling in his chest near his heart and knew that the love he was feeling was coming from Severus.  
Harry felt tears form in his eyes, but they were of happiness, not sadness.  
“You are a part of me,” Harry whispered, realization hitting him at last.  
“I am,” Severus whispered gently, nodding; he was happy to see the look of delight on Harry’s face  
Harry laughed a little, looking down at the ground as he allowed a few tears to fall; relief and happiness consuming him.  
“That’s good- that’s really… really wonderful,” Harry whispered as tears continued to fall down his face.

Sensing what was about to happen, the five spirits walked slowly towards Harry, who collapsed onto the ground as the pain of the last couple of weeks: his relief, his guilt, his fear and overwhelming happiness filled him as he sobbed. Severus, Lily, James, Sirius and Remus stood in a circle around Harry, emanating their warmth and love as Harry continued to cry in happiness and relief; the five of them would always be there for Harry; not even death could stop them from taking every moment they had to remind Harry just how much they loved him.

After a few moments, Harry mastered himself. Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, he stood up to see five people standing around him. Severus was standing on either side of Sirius and James and Harry could not believe that those three men were standing there, not arguing or fighting or cursing one another; they were all there for him. Having done a full turn on the spot, his eyes rested on Severus’ once more.  
“I am really worried about Lily, Severus” Harry whispered to the man, who stepped forward so as to hear him better. “She does not wish to talk to any of us, not even Michael- she cries so much and I do not know what I can do to help- if there is anything I can do; she misses you so much!” Harry asserted, hoping that Severus would give him some advice.  
“Lily will be okay; the letter I gave her upon my death continues to echo in her mind. She feels terrible that I felt that way about myself- that there was a time when I believed I was worthless. She knows how very wrong I was and keeps wishing that she could have changed it- changed what happened. It is causing her a lot of pain because she knows she cannot change the past. There was no way she could have known my feelings and thoughts… she feels guilty for things that were not her fault,” Severus explained.  
Harry stared at Severus in disbelief. “How can you possibly know all of that?”  
Severus smiled, but didn’t answer him. “Please tell Lily that I am well, that I am happy and that I forgive her, even though she did nothing wrong to begin with. I believe that will make her feel a little better.”  
Harry continued to stare at Severus and the latter couldn’t help but laugh at the intense look on Harry’s face- Severus knew Harry was getting onto something, he was just waiting for hims to ask.  
“How do you know this?” Harry asked again.  
Severus paused for a moment, deciding whether or not to permit Harry to keep guessing or simply tell him the answer. Finally he decided to tell Harry how he could possibly know some of Lily’s deepest thoughts, feelings and regrets.  
“I feel it,” Severus answered quietly.  
“You feel it?” Harry paused, thinking. “Does that mean you- that you- you are a part of her, too?” Harry asked with uncertainty.  
“Yes,” Severus replied nodding.  
Harry laughed out of pure happiness; Severus had truly impacted the lives of his children- more than he could ever have guessed.  
“Lily will be really happy to know that.”  
“And whilst you are informing her of this, you might as well tell the rest of your family the same thing,” Severus reinforced, smiling still more broadly for he could see how this news was helping Harry move on.  
“You are a part of all us?”  
Severus nodded.  
Harry paused, looking at the ground for a moment.   
“You really have stayed close to us, haven’t you?” Harry asserted, looking back into Severus’ face, smiling sadly.  
“And I always will.”

Harry continued to stand in front of Severus in disbelief as he thought about what this meant to him- to his family.   
Harry looked around at the five people still standing there watching him, looking out for him, and Harry knew that it would be very hard, maybe impossible for him to let go of the stone and lose the people who, despite their deaths, have never failed to remind Harry that they love him.  
But Harry knew that it was important for him to release the stone and when that moment came, the first thing he would do was see his family and tell them the wonderful news: Severus continues to live… in all of us.

But Harry was not ready to drop the stone just yet; he wanted to continue talking to Severus, his parents, Remus and Sirius. It was only now that Harry realised he was still looking at Severus and felt the need to request one more thing of him.  
“Please stay close to us,” Harry pleaded quietly.  
Severus stepped forward once more and made to place his hand on Harry’s shoulder, but he couldn’t touch him, his hand fell right through Harry’s body. Smiling sadly, Severus said.  
“Until the very end.”


	32. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there,   
> Thank you so much for reaching the final chapter of 'It is our choices'. The previous chapter ('Until the very end') was the original ending of this fanfiction, however I decided to write this Epilogue after my brother asked me how Harry's family reacted to his conversation with Severus. I realised that what I thought was an obvious answer, turned out to me more complicated than I expected. And so, I decided to explore this idea further, and thus this epilogue was written. 'Until the very end' will always be the true ending of ‘It is our choices’ but this epilogue may provide some people with more insight into what happened after Harry used the resurrection stone. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether you would like to read further or now :)  
> I hope you enjoy this epilogue and I wish to thank my brother for his love of 'It is our choices' and for suggesting I write this chapter.

Harry watched as the Resurrection Stone flew out of his hands as he threw it somewhere deeper into the forest; he could not even see where it landed. He had just finished saying good bye to his parents, Sirius, Remus and Severus and already he missed them, especially the latter. But he knew that he needed to let go and move on. He even felt ready to talk to Severus’ portrait again, for he hadn’t looked at it since Severus’ death; it was just too painful.  
Harry stood still for a moment thinking about the Resurrection Stone. Although his resurrected loved ones were concerned that he was leaving the Stone in the forest without protection, Harry felt that the odds of someone finding a black stone in a dark forest were slim to none. Having told himself over and over again that the stone would be safe, Harry began to walk out of the forest.   
Tumbling over and over in his mind were the voices of his loved ones. It moved him that Severus was afraid he would not be able to return to the other dimension because of his desire to stay here with him and his family, but what truly made his day was that his father, Remus and even Sirius supported Severus, and promised to help him if he could not leave Harry when the time came. Harry knew that they and his mother would take good care of Severus and that the resentments they had all those years ago had evaporated, but of course, were not forgotten.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Walking back up to the castle, Harry sent his stag to Ginny and his children, letting them know that he planned to meet them all at Grimmauld place and if they could, to be there when he arrived. He also sent his Patronus to the Deputy Headmistress, letting her know that he would be away for a short period and to keep an eye out on the school.

Walking to the outskirts of Hogwarts grounds and beyond the enchantments he placed around the castle, Harry apparated to his home.

Only Ginny was waiting for him when he arrived, for his children would obviously need to inform their spouses before leaving.  
“Harry! What is it? Why do you want us to meet here? What’s wrong?” Ginny asked looking panicked; she absolutely hated these secret meetings now.  
Harry stepped forwards and hugged his wife.  
“Calm down, Ginny. Nothing is wrong; it’s good news, I promise. I just want to wait for our children to arrive, okay?” Harry said calmly, kissing Ginny’s forehead. The woman nodded; relieved that her husband was not bringing them any bad news- she didn’t know how much more she could handle.

Finally when all of the children had arrived and everyone was sitting down in the lounge room, Harry began:  
“I’m sorry to call you here so late, but there is something important I wish to tell you,” Harry said with a small smile on his face.  
“Why are you smiling, Dad?” Albus asked; since Severus’ death he rarely saw his father smile anymore.  
“Because I have some good news,” Harry replied.  
“What is it?” James asked in anticipation.  
“My care of magical creatures teacher was unable to do magic in the forest the other   
day-”  
“So…” James said, seemingly confused as to how this was significant.  
“I went to remove what was preventing him from doing it.” Harry then paused and waited for his family to realise exactly what it was that Harry went to ‘fix’.  
Ginny was the quickest. She gasped: “The Resurrection Stone!”  
Harry nodded.  
James and Albus were staring at their father avidly, wanting to know more but Lily looked frightened and even more pale than usual.  
“So what happened, Dad? Is Severus okay?” Albus asked eagerly.  
“Well that is of course what I wanted to know. My mother arrived first and she told me she had seen Severus and that he was fine. Soon afterwards my dad, Sirius and Remus arrived and they too asserted they had seen Severus. I was so glad- relieved that he was okay and when I asked them to tell me more, my Dad simply said: ‘Why don’t you ask him yourself?’”  
Lily gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “You spoke to Severus?” she asked in awe.  
“I did,” Harry answered nodding.   
There was silence as everyone processed within themselves just how much that must have meant to Harry seeing as he was the only one who didn’t get to say goodbye to their friend.  
“So- so Severus knew you wanted to talk to him, so he was resurrected?” James wondered out loud.  
“That’s what I thought, but no- to my surprise at the time, though in retrospect it is not such a shock, the fact is that Severus is a part of me, like my mother, father, Sirius and Remus are,” Harry explained, bracing himself for the look his family were about to give him. Sure enough, Harry was not disappointed, all four of them were gobsmacked; not because they didn’t think Severus would become a part of Harry but because they hadn’t thought of it before.  
“That’s great, Dad!” Albus asserted, walking up to hug his father; “I am glad you had the opportunity to speak with him.”  
“Thank you Albus,” Harry whispered back. Then letting go of his son, Harry continued.   
“Of course I knew that I could have walked into my office and spoken to Severus myself, but I wasn’t ready for that- seeing him up there next to Dumbledore would make it all seem too real. But seeing him face to face, younger, happier than I have ever seen him before was so much better than speaking to his portrait.”  
“So your Dad and Sirius weren’t giving him a hard time?” Ginny asked.  
Harry laughed, remembering what Sirius said when Harry asked James if he were reverting back to his old ways.   
“Not at all, in fact they helped Severus…” and Harry continued telling his family what happened with regard to Severus not wanting to be resurrected in the first place and how much Severus wanted to stay with him, how much he missed them all…  
“We really miss him too,” Lily whispered, speaking for the first time in many minutes.  
“I told Severus as much. I also told him that I was worried about you, Lily,” Harry added.  
Lily gulped. “What did he say,” she whispered so quietly, Harry had to move closer to his daughter just to hear her.   
“Severus told me to tell you that he is well, he is happy and he forgives you for everything you felt you did, but he wants you to know that you did nothing wrong, even though you feel you did. None of this was your fault Lily, the way Severus died or the way he felt about himself was not your fault, you could not have changed it. Severus has no regrets and he wanted you to know that.”  
Lily stared blankly at her father, but when she found her voice she said:  
“How did he know I was blaming myself?” she whispered, so that only Harry could hear.  
Harry smiled. “He can feel your pain,” Harry replied simply.  
“Why? Because of what happened when Lily died?” Lily asked, sympathetically, trying to work it out.  
Harry shook his head. “No, Lily; Severus feels what you feel: the pain, the regret, the grief- he feels it all,” Harry said seriously, staring intently into his daughter’s eyes, waiting for it to sink in.  
Suddenly, Lily felt her heart warm and knew that someone was doing this to her- someone loved her. Lily grabbed her chest in shock, but never took her eyes away from her father. Harry was smiling for he felt a similar thing not long ago and he knew what it meant- Harry was glad Severus was nearby.  
“Severus,” Lily whispered, tears forming in her eyes as she continued to stare at her father and then realising what this must mean, Lily continued:  
“He knows what I feel- he knows how guilty I feel because he’s a part of me too? He lives within me too?” Lily asked, half hysterical, half in disbelief.  
Harry smiled. “Yes, and Severus also wanted me to tell the rest of my wonderful family that he continues to live on in all of us,” Harry announced.  
Harry was delighted as he watched his entire family smile; this moment definitely signified the happiest they had been in a long time.  
Then James started laughing. “He really has stayed close to us didn’t he?”  
“He did James,” Harry replied nodding with a huge smile on his face.  
“At least he knows how much he means to us- how much we miss him- we don’t have to tell him because he already knows…” Ginny thought out loud.  
Harry walked up to his wife and hugging her, he whispered: “He knows more than we could ever imagine. He is still here for us, even in death.”

When the reality that Severus was in fact a part of all of them, sunk in, the Potter’s decided to have a hot drink in the kitchen before everyone went home, even though it was already really late. There was silence around the table as everyone thought about the night’s events.  
“I’m glad he’s okay,” Albus said out loud, breaking the silence.  
“It’s great that your father and Sirius are decent to him- I think they’ll take good care of him,” Ginny added, looking at Harry, who nodded in agreement; he had no doubt that Severus would be in good hands.  
“Hey, I just realised something,” James said suddenly, looking directly at his father. “What did you do with the stone?”  
Harry paused for a moment; he knew that, like his spiritual guardians, his family would also be concerned about what he did. Taking a deep breath, Harry replied:  
“I threw the stone deep into the forest-”  
“Without any protection?” Albus interrupted, looking aghast.  
Harry looked between his family members, all of whom appeared concerned, except Lily who seemed deep in thought with a passive expression.  
“I know it sounds crazy, but-” Harry said louder still for he could tell Albus was about to interrupt him again. “No one has searched for the Deathly Hallows for years and besides, I would like to see someone try to find a black stone inside a dark forest- it would be close to impossible,” Harry asserted confidently forcing everyone in his presence to agree, however silently, that the stone would be safe.  
When everyone had finished their hot drinks it was 2am in the morning. Albus, James, Lily and Harry left one by one, saying goodbye to each other as they all flooed home, craving for some sleep.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

When Lily arrived home, she got changed into her pyjamas and collapsed into bed however quietly so as not to wake up Michael. However, Michael heard her come in, and once under the covers, he wrapped his arms around his wife and asked:  
“Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah,” Lily whispered back, silent tears pouring down her cheeks.  
“Are you alright?” Michael asked concerned. Although he couldn’t see Lily’s face, he could sense that she was thinking about something- something was bothering her.  
Lily nodded. “I’m just really tired,” she replied only half convincingly.  
Michael decided to leave her be for now, but only pretended to be asleep so he could keep an eye on her.  
Ten minutes later, Lily was still awake and although Michael couldn’t hear any sobs- even though Lily was completely silent, Michael was growing concerned. Rubbing his wife’s back, he moved in close to her ear and whispered:  
“What happened, Lily?”  
“I’m fine, it’s okay, just go back to sleep,” Lily said dismissively.  
“No, something is bothering you,” Michael persisted.  
Lily turned around so that she was facing her husband.  
“Dad used the Resurrection Stone earlier this evening… he spoke to Severus…”  
“And how is he?” Michael asked, wondering if this is what was bothering his wife.  
“Dad says he’s good, Dad’s father and Sirius are not giving Severus a hard time and he’s pretty happy.”  
“Well that’s good, isn’t it?” Michael asked uncertainly.  
Lily nodded. “Yes, of course it is, but Dad also told us that Severus is a part of him, a part of Albus, a part of James, a part of Mum and… a part of me,” Lily cried, sobbing a little.  
Michael was taken aback; he thought this news would be something to celebrate; he thought it was wonderful that Severus had become such a huge part of their family.  
Michael held his wife tightly to him whilst she sobbed.  
“Why are you so upset, Lily?” Michael whispered, kissing her on the forehead.  
“I don’t know,” Lily cried. “I guess I just feel so stupid; why didn’t any of us realise that Severus was a part of us? It never even crossed our minds! I just thought that if he meant that much to us- if he truly was with us all this time that we would have felt it- that I would have felt it- but I can’t feel him near me- how can I really be sure that he is here? That he is a part of me?”  
“You don’t believe what your father said?”  
“I do, I do, but I want proof, I want to see Severus and make sure he is okay, and make sure he’s with me- I miss him so much, I just want to talk to him again!” Lily cried, half pleading, half in assertion.  
“So is that what you have been thinking about? Are you trying to find a way to speak to Severus?” Michael asked as if finally realising what was preoccupying his wife’s mind.  
“I’ve already thought of a way,” Lily whispered.  
Michael stared wide eyed at Lily- not that she could see his expression for the room was in darkness.  
“How?” Michael asked.  
“Dad only threw the Resurrection Stone into the forest, he didn’t even put protective spells around it. So… if I could just go to the school right now when everyone is sleeping, I could find it, use it and no one would be any the wiser-” Lily blurted out.  
Michael paused. He knew that this was not a good idea, but at the same time, he could tell how much his wife was relying on her plan to work and he didn’t want to turn it down.  
“Do you think it would work?”  
“Why wouldn’t it work? It may take me a while to find the stone, but once I do, there won’t be a problem-”  
“But the stone could be anywhere, Lily- it could take you a very long-”  
“Why aren’t you supporting me?” Lily fired back, clearly upset that Michael was not encouraging her to do as she wishes.  
“I just think you need to realise that the stone could be anywhere in that forest,” Michael repeated a little cautiously.  
“I’m not stupid! Of course I realise it will take me a while- perhaps all night- but I will find it if it’s the last thing I do!” Lily yelled, sitting up in bed and turning away from Michael.  
“Why are you acting this way?”  
“I just want you to support me Michael! Is that too much to ask?” Lily fired back. “And there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just frustrating that you’re not on my side!”  
“I am on your-”  
“Don’t lie to me! You think it’s a waste of time- that I should just move on from Severus- that seeing him again would just make me worse- that you will then have to endure another 3 weeks putting up with my grief, sorrow and pain- you don’t want me to see Severus!” Lily cried hysterically.  
Michael grabbed hold of Lily’s hands which looked like they were about to get violent and said gently.  
“You are putting words in my mouth, Lily. If you really want to find the stone and see Severus again then I wouldn’t nor couldn’t stop you. If you feel you need to speak to him after what you have discovered tonight, then I will support you because I love you and want you to be happy.”  
Lily continued to stare at her husband, but could feel her anger subsiding; she knew she had overreacted- that she shouldn’t have lost her temper, but she so badly wanted to see Severus again, she just needed someone to understand and give her permission to fulfill her desire to communicate with the man again.  
“Thank you,” Lily whispered, as she turned around and kissed Michael.  
Then leaping out of bed, Lily put on her robes and cloak.  
“You’re going now?” Michael asked in disbelief; it was nearly 3am.  
“Of course-”  
“But it’s late, Lily, I don’t think your father would appreciate-”  
“I’m not telling my dad!” Lily replied, smiling a little at her husband’s stupidity.  
“Why are you grinning?” Michael asked, concerned that Lily found this humorous.  
“If I told my dad I wouldn’t even get into Hogwarts! He would stop me from using the stone!”  
“Then if you know your father would object, why are you going nonetheless? Why would you choose to secretly enter Hogwart’s grounds without telling the Headmaster?” Michael asked in a serious and stern tone as he too got out of bed and walked towards his wife.  
“I just want to do this on my own- I have to do this Michael and telling Dad would only make things harder- it’ll waste time.” Then looking at the clock on the wall, Lily made towards the door, but Michael stood in front of her and Lily looked ready to attack him again.  
“I support you in searching for the stone if that’s what you want, but I will not endorse your desire to enter the school property without informing your father. If anyone else was headmaster of the school, I know you would do them the courtesy of informing them of your actions. Your father should be no different even if he does waste your time,” Michael stated firmly.  
Lily looked as if she was about to yell, but then quickly calmed down and said in an equally serious voice.  
“I cannot write him a letter; it would take too long for him to receive it.”  
“Why don’t you send your Patronus?” Michael suggested.  
“You know I have not been able to produce a Patronus since Severus’ death, Michael.”  
Michael, of course knew this, but hoped that maybe the extra adrenalin may have lifted Lily’s spirits a little.  
“You should try-”  
“I can’t!”  
“But you haven’t tried for weeks!”  
“It doesn’t matter! It won’t work!”  
“Not if you have that attitude, Lily,” Michael replied gently.  
Lily was staring aggressively at her husband; she knew deep inside that he was right, she should give it a try- it has been 3 weeks after all. But at the same time, Lily felt weak and incapable of producing a corporeal Patronus let alone a message as well.  
Lily sighed. “Okay, I’ll try but if I can’t, will you send your Patronus instead?”  
Michael nodded.  
Lily grabbed her wand from the bedside table, held it in front of her and then thinking of what would happen when she got to speak to Severus again, she said:  
“Expecto Patronum!”  
A silver mist erupted from Lily’s wand, but no tiger was to be seen.  
Lily looked hopelessly at Michael who encouraged her to try again.  
Thinking of the fact that if Severus was with her at the moment, he would have faith that she could do it- remembering how much Severus believed in her, Lily yelled again:  
“Expecto Patronum!” and gasped as she watched her Patronus gallop out of sight towards Hogwarts. Realising that Lily didn’t have to time to input a message into her Patronus, Michael sent his eagle after it, informing Harry that Lily would be at Hogwarts soon.  
Lily was staring after her Patronus in disbelief and Michael gave her a reassuring hug.  
“It’ll be okay, Lily,” he whispered as he walked her down to the fire place and gave her a loving kiss before leaving her to floo herself to Hogwarts. Once Michael was out of sight, however, Lily put the powder down and slowly opened the front door of their house. She then closed the door gently and placed the protective spells around the place before apparating to the outskirts of Hogwarts: she didn’t care what Michael said- she needed to speak to Severus face to face.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

As Harry walked back to the castle, he realised that his most recent experience with the stone was just the closure he needed to finally confront Severus’ portrait. Harry knew how ridiculous it was that he couldn’t even walk into his own office for fear that Severus would be in his portrait staring back at him- fear that he, Harry would fall back into the sorrow and grief he felt weeks ago- he didn’t want to go back there.

But Harry was ready now and thought he would just say a quick ‘hi’ to Severus and Dumbledore, before going to bed for the night.  
Entering his office, instead of rushing up the stairs like he used to, Harry now smiled broadly at the two greatest Headmasters of Hogwarts, as he approached the two portraits that hung above his desk.   
“Long time no see, Severus,” Harry said smiling. Severus returned the smile, laughing a little.   
“I was hoping you would eventually take the opportunity to talk to my portrait- I see that tonight has given you some courage,” Severus said gently.  
Harry nodded.  
“Good evening Professor Dumbledore,” Harry said suddenly, wanting to escape the feelings that were threatening to take over.  
“Good evening, Harry. It’s very late, shouldn’t you be resting?” Dumbledore questioned looking concerned, but cheerful nonetheless.  
Harry smiled sheepishly. “Yes, I should be but I just wanted to say good night I guess…”  
Then looking at Severus, Harry continued: “I told my family what happened in the   
forest-”  
“I know, I was there,” Severus whispered quietly.   
“They seemed really happy…”  
“Indeed they were,” Severus reinforced, smiling at the memory.  
“I’m still worried about Lily though,” Harry added, lost in thought. “She hardly said anything once I told her about you. I have no idea what was going through her mind…”  
Severus didn’t say anything, but Harry could tell Severus knew something he didn’t.  
Harry continued to stare at Severus, who gave no indication that he knew more than he was letting on. Finally, Severus spoke:  
“She misses me.”  
“We all miss you, Severus! But there’s something else, something more than just grief- I am truly worried about her,” Harry persisted.  
“She was thinking Harry-”  
“About what, Severus? If you know something please tell me!”  
But before Severus could give an answer a beautiful doe Patronus galloped into the office, causing Dumbledore, Severus and Harry to stare wide eyed at it as it stood in front of Harry before disappearing seconds later.  
Harry turned to look at Severus, who was staring transfixed at the spot where the doe had just disappeared.  
About ten seconds later, another Patronus entered the office, an eagle which Harry knew to be Michael’s, which opened its beak and said:  
“Lily’s coming via the floo network to talk to you.” And then it too, disappeared.  
Harry was speechless. He turned towards the fire place expecting Lily to appear amongst the green flames at any moment. Harry was waiting with bated breath, Severus and Albus watching behind him.   
But no one came…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Where is she?” Harry asked desperately, thinking that something may have happened to his daughter.  
“I am sure she is coming Harry, give her some time,” Albus reassured the man. Severus remained silent.  
“Why would she want to talk to me? It is so late, she should be resting! I hope nothing is wrong,” Harry said more to himself than anyone else. “Severus what do you think?”  
“I am sure she is fine,” he replied, as he too was staring at the fire place.  
Another five minutes passed without any sign of Lily. Harry was getting very worried.  
“Okay, where is she?” Harry asked, looking panicked between the fireplace and Severus’ portrait. “She definitely should be here by now.”  
“I am sure she is fine,” Severus responded.  
Then turning to Dumbledore for further reassurance, he saw Albus looking over at Severus’ portrait with a strange expression on his face.  
“What is it Professor Dumbledore?” Harry asked, looking between the two Headmasters’ portraits.  
Albus paused before answering.  
“That is the second time Severus has said ‘I am sure she is fine’, he has not said anything else since the Patronuses arrived,” he observed.  
“So… what does that mean?”  
“Severus’ essence is not with this portrait at the moment, he must is somewhere else,” Dumbledore explained.  
“Do you think he is with Lily?” Harry asked, wanting to know exactly what the old man meant.  
“Yes, I believe that is quite possible.”  
Harry began to pace. Why didn’t Severus say something? Surely he could have quickly visited his portrait momentarily just to let them know that Lily was okay? Where could they be?  
Harry was thinking hard and trying to recall everything that happened at Grimmauld place. After ten minutes, it finally came to him- Lily missed Severus and the strange way she looked at him when he said that the Resurrection Stone was unprotected meant one thing- Lily was looking for the stone.  
Grabbing his wand, Harry left his office, telling Dumbledore what he was doing. But he didn’t wait for the man’s response as he ran down the spiral staircase.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lily was walking towards the forest, wondering how long it was going to take her to find the stone. She felt a little guilty for lying to her husband, but at the same time, she knew she needed to do this; after everything she went through with Severus she had to make sure he was okay. As she entered the forest and whispered ‘lumos’ she suddenly felt a warmth in her heart and knew that Severus was with her. She didn’t really know what was happening, but felt a pull towards the centre of the forest. Trusting her instincts and what she knew to be Severus’ guidance, Lily smiled as she set foot through the thick leaf litter. Any moment now she would be able to see Severus face to face and was delighted that the man himself, wanted to see her too. After all, Severus was leading her to the stone, she was sure of it. After 15 minutes of solid walking, the warmth in her heart disappeared and Lily knew this meant that the stone was somewhere nearby. Crouching down, Lily began to move the leaves and soil carefully, determined not to miss the small, black stone. Smiling more than she ever had before, Lily grasped the stone tightly, stood up and turned it over three times in her hand just how her father had told her, Albus and James all those years ago.  
Lily felt a gentle breeze behind her and spun around to see none other than Severus standing there looking back at her.

“Hi Severus,” Lily said, her tone completely different, the sight of him brought tears of happiness to her eyes- to see that Severus was okay, happy and smiling brought such a relief to Lily.  
But Severus did not return the relief; while he was happy to see Lily and knew how much he meant to her, he did not approve of her actions.  
“You should have told your father,” was the first thing Severus said which made Lily’s heart sink.  
“I know, but-”  
“The forest is still a dangerous place, especially this late at night. He is worried sick- we were expecting you to enter via the floo network in your father’s office.”  
“I know, but when I saw my Patronus- your Patronus, I had to see you face to face. I just- I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Lily protested, trying to justify why she lied to her father.  
“Very well, but are you aware that my portrait resides in Harry’s office? In coming via the floo network, you still would have been able to talk to me,” Severus informed her gently.  
Lily paused in shock. “I can’t believe I forgot,” Lily whispered.  
“You were grieving, Lily,” Severus consoled her; he knew what it was like to lose someone and forget everything else but the one you lost.  
“But I was so desperate to see you- to talk to you. When I heard Dad mention the Resurrection Stone, I thought it was the only way…”  
Severus didn’t reply and allowed Lily to ponder silently- not a sound was made in the forest. Suddenly, Lily’s expression changed from disbelief to concern.  
“How are you?”  
“I am well and I am happy Lily as your father told you in the last hour or so.”  
Lily looked ashamed.  
“I know, but I just wanted to see you for myself,” she whispered, however childishly. “I’m glad you are okay,” she continued.  
Severus smiled to reflect just how ‘okay’ he truly was.  
“So, if you have been in your portrait did you see my Patronus?” Lily asked with wide, eager eyes.  
Severus stopped smiling and looked into Lily’s eyes as he replied gently:  
“Yes, I did.”  
Lily turned pale.  
“Why is she with me? All she is going to do is remind me how much I miss you, Severus! What is wrong with me? Will I feel this wretched forever?” Lily cried, begging Severus for answers. In truth, Severus knew why his doe went to Lily, but was hoping she would figure it out herself. However, Lily’s distress was so apparent that Severus saw no hope of her discovering what he already knew.  
“There is nothing wrong with you,” Severus persisted.  
“No, I just have your Patronus following me- it’s almost as if she wants to haunt me!” Lily exclaimed- ever since she saw the doe, Lily couldn’t keep her mind off it.  
“The doe isn’t there to cause you pain Lily and let me remind you that that Patronus is no longer mine, she is yours now,” Severus said gently.  
“But I don’t want to see your beautiful doe every time I produce a Patronus Severus!” Lily cried, tears in her eyes. “I want my old Patronus back, my Tigress, I wish I could just have that part of me back so I don’t completely lose myself through all of this!” she cried hysterically.  
“You know who you are Lily, you are strong-”  
“I don’t feel strong! I feel weak and helpless. Your death has changed who I am and I cannot see how I am going to ever be happy again! The fact that my Patronus has been replaced with your doe just proves how much your death has changed me- how am I ever going to get through this?” Lily begged, looking at Severus with pleading eyes.  
“It will take time Lily, but I know you will find a way to move on- you are much stronger than you think,” Severus encouraged her.  
Lily paused, contemplating the idea that had been swirling around in her mind the last 5 minutes or so.  
“Well… now that I know I can talk to you, that will make things easier, I hope,” Lily thought out loud.  
“No,” he replied, staring avidly into Lily’s eyes as he momentarily entered her being and determined what she was planning.  
“But…” Lily was faltering under Severus’ gaze; he had never looked so determined- so concerned. “I thought that I could come to Hogwarts every now and then and just talk to your portrait- make sure you are okay…”   
But Severus didn’t reply nor avert his eyes and continued to stare at Lily, not with aggression but with concern.  
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lily asked, tears of panic in her eyes.  
“I will not let you do this to yourself,” Severus said with care and authority.  
“Well as long as Dad is able to let me in the castle you can’t really do much about it…” Lily trailed off, wondering if this was in fact true.  
“There are several things I can do-”  
“And even if that is so, why would you want to stop me? Why does everyone want to prevent me from being happy?” Lily protested, half angry, half desperate for answers.  
“It will not make you happy,” Severus retorted back.  
“What would you know? I am the one who misses you and personally I feel that seeing you would help that recovery, don’t you?”  
“No, I don’t,” Severus answered calmly.  
There was silence as Severus and Lily stared at one another.   
Severus was suddenly distracted, as was Lily. Both of them could hear the same thing- a rustling among the trees, someone was coming. Severus knew it was Harry and focused much of his energy, like he did with Lily, to lead him to where they were standing.  
“What is it, Severus?” Lily asked, looking scared as she drew out her wand and was prepared to fight whatever it was approaching them.  
“Your father,” Severus replied seriously, even though most of his energy was still with Harry. Within a couple of minutes, Harry had joined them, but not before Lily kept continuing with their conversation- apparently she had thought of some way of defending her decision and determination to see Severus even if the man himself, disagreed.  
“You’re being a protective parent, Severus. I know what I’m-”  
“You have no idea the damage it could cause!”  
“Oh, but you do, do you?”  
“Yes, from my own personal experience!”  
“What, with Lily? Well I can truly say that never seeing her again really did you some good! Maybe if you had the opportunity to use the Resurrection Stone back then you would have been able to move-  
“Lily, don’t-” Harry cut in the moment he arrived, knowing that his daughter was doing too far. But Lily ignored her father’s warnings.  
“-on before you reached the age of-”  
“You have no idea what I know and don’t you dare bring my relationship with Lily into this!” Severus hissed.  
“Then what is it Severus? Please enlighten me with your almighty knowledge!” Lily cried sarcastically, out of despair and desperation.   
“I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made-”  
“But they are my mistakes to make, Severus!”  
“Be that as it may, I will not be responsible for your suffering-”  
“Suffering? MY suffering? Exactly how much more do you think I am capable of suffering? Of losing?”  
“Much more than you already have!” Severus yelled.  
“What do you know, Severus? What makes you so knowledgeable about my feelings?”  
“The mere fact that I am a part of you, that I know your thoughts… the fact that my Patronus is now yours should give some indication I would think!”  
“Then tell me, Severus tell me what I will suffer!” Lily cried, clearly frustrated and upset.  
Severus calmed himself down before continuing; his temper was getting out of hand.  
“The fact that your Patronus is a doe is telling you something-”  
“That I am useless and pathetic!”  
“Obtaining the Patronus of someone you love is NOT pathetic Lily!”  
Lily knew this and felt ashamed by her outburst. Although he knew Severus’ views on his Patronus changed drastically before he died; nothing prepared him for such a bold and moving assertion. Severus paused to gather his thoughts before continuing.  
“Your Patronus indicates that you are trying to hold on to me, and seeing me whenever you choose will not make things better; it will only encourage you to hold on still tighter. You will never let go and your Patronus will never go back to the way it was.”  
“So what are you suggesting I do?”  
”Recognise that your Patronus will change back when you have moved on… when you have finished grieving. When you have let go of me, my doe will leave you.”  
“That’s never going to happen Severus,” Lily whispered, resigned.  
“Yes, it will.”  
“But it didn’t happen to you- your Patronus was a doe until the day you died,” Lily pointed out.  
Severus nodded. “True, but the circumstances under which I obtained a change in Patronus is different to yours. Lily was my whole life. I lived for her, I would have died for her, I had no one else in my life BUT her. You, on the other hand, have a husband and a family who love you and a job you adore. Although I became a large part of your life, I was not everything to you. Your character, your very essence was built around your sense of self, your friends and family whereas my identity revolved around Lily and what she meant to me. My change in Patronus, the only Patronus I ever had was permanent, but yours is temporary. That doe represents your loss and your grief- not your identity. When you have moved on, your Patronus will became a tigress once more,” Severus explained.  
“But won’t seeing you every now and then help me move on?” Lily asked, feeling hopeful.  
“No, because my Patronus alone, should be enough- you shouldn’t have the need to see me-”  
“You can’t tell me what I should and should not need to do! What if your Patronus isn’t enough for me?”  
“But it should be-”  
“Well it isn’t, Severus!”  
“Do you know what that Patronus represents?” Severus demanded somewhat aggressively.  
Lily was taken aback by the man’s outrage.  
“It means that you meant a lot to me- that I am finding it difficult to let you go…” Lily whispered.  
“But there is something else too. More than anyone alive, you have been most affected by my death. This is not a weakness, Lily but it does mean that you have inherited my Patronus. This signifies to me that although I continue to live on in your family members, the individual who I am most strongly connected to is you. Although this means that you will find it harder than most to move on, you have that beautiful doe, something no one else has, to remind you that you do not need a magical stone or a portrait to know where I am. Seeing my Patronus form from the tip of your wand- by your magic shows where I truly live: not in a painting, not in a stone but within you,” Severus spoke gently, as he watched a few tears cascade down Lily’s cheeks.  
“But it’s just so hard to accept that you’re not around anymore- that I cannot see you everyday,” Lily whispered, softly crying.  
“I never said it would be easy,” Severus muttered back.  
“You said that you didn’t want me to make the same mistake you made… I don’t understand what you meant…” Lily questioned, wondering if she missed something.  
Severus averted his eyes and stared somewhere deep into the forest.  
“When Lily died I truly felt she was lost forever- that I was completely alone- that she left me. Even when I saw that I had her doe Patronus, it didn’t even occur to me that she was still with me- that she still cared for me. I did not have the opportunity to talk to her after her death- I had no idea if she was well, if she was still with me or if she even cared. But you do, Lily. I am telling you right now that I will always be a part of you. If I had had the opportunity to talk to Lily all those years ago I would like to hope that I would have not been so terrible towards your father when he arrived at Hogwarts and I believe I would have recovered much better had I been able to accept that although physically absent from this world, Lily was always with me. I held onto her too much, I wanted her to come back, I wanted to bring her back- as your father witnessed that night in the forest. But it was only after that experience that I realised that I don’t need her to come back because she is always with me, she’s a part of me and that alone made me content. Although it took me a good while to move on, with the help of your parents, I managed it- I truly understood that not only was Lily a part of me, but that I never truly lost her to begin with.”  
“But knowing that I could see you everyday, knowing that your portrait is here and the Resurrection Stone is in the grounds, it’s so hard to be content with the fact that you are a part of me- seeing you means so much more,” Lily protested, she truly didn’t think she had Severus’ courage, regardless of what he may believe.  
“My portrait would be like the Resurrection Stone to you, Lily. It’s addictive. When I saw Lily for the first time in god only knows how many years, I couldn’t take my eyes off her- I didn’t want her out of my sight and as you know I wanted that moment to last forever. I feel that you will continue coming to my portrait to see me and talk to me, which I do not have a problem with- it takes no effort on my behalf. But I fear that you will begin to feel like I was- was still… alive.”  
Lily stared at Severus a while before protesting: “I know you are dead, Severus!”  
“Yes, you know, it is fact, but there is a fine line between knowledge and acceptance,   
Lil-”  
“Do we need to be philosophical now, Severus? Seriously? Why are you making this so complicated?!” Lily interrupted.  
“Better complicated now than later!” Severus fired back.   
“That is not for you to decide!” Lily cried back, tears in her eyes. “I am not a child! I can make my own decisions!”  
“I know, I know,” Severus said quietly, slightly ashamed of himself. Maybe he should let Lily do as she wishes, but inside Severus knew, he knew that her constant coming to visit him will not allow her to move on.  
“I just really want you to get through this, Lily. I am dead and unfortunately no matter how many times you see me, that isn’t going to change. I feel it is better if you do not see me at all until you have grieved a little more-”  
“So you want me to suffer for longer?”  
“Lily, you know that is not what I meant! Muggles go through many losses, never seeing or hearing from their passed love ones and as much as I treasure the portraits commemorating those who have left us, and as much as I desired the Resurrection Stone when I was alive, it doesn’t do us any good to dwell on them. To know that such instruments exist and yet ignore the opportunities they give us shows great strength-”  
“Stop suggesting I am strong, Severus- I’m not like you, I can’t do this!” Lily cried, exasperated.  
Severus felt his face soften a little- he wished for nothing more than to be able to give Lily a hug. This wasn’t easy for him either; he knew it would be so easy to give Lily what she wanted, but he also knew, having watched Lily these last couple of weeks and having entered her mind a few times, she will only suffer more if he let her fulfill her plan.  
“I know this is probably the most difficult thing you have ever had to do in your life, Lily, but I am asking you to trust me- to have faith in me-”  
“I do, Severus, I do- it’s just-”  
“Know that I am okay, KNOW that I am always with you and know that if you ever want to talk to me, just say whatever it is you wish to say and I will hear you. One of the most amazing things about this fourth dimension is that we are greatly influenced by those still living- we KNOW where our loved ones are and if they are thinking of us. It is strange and gets confusing at times, but it is a true gift for me and for you. Have faith in me Lily, I would not be doing this if I didn’t believe it was worthwhile,” Severus said, attempting to convince Lily of his sincerity.  
“I do have faith in you Severus…” Lily trailed off.  
“Thank you, Lily. I think it amazing that I could have formed such a close bond with you- with all of your family and your trust means a lot to me,” Severus said graciously.  
But Lily wasn’t listening, her mind was elsewhere.   
“So if myself, Dad and Mum are all thinking about you at the same time does that mean you are in fact in 3 places at once?” Lily inquired, whether out of curiosity or to devise another plan, Severus wasn’t sure.  
“No, I can only truly be in one place at any one time. For example, if I were to go to Grimmauld Place to be with your mother, my portrait would still be here but the conversation you would have would simply be an echo of my character- no new thoughts would be produced and my knowledge would be restricted to what I knew before I died,” Severus explained.  
Lily nodded her head in understanding.  
With all the kindness and gentility he could muster, knowing the reaction he was about to receive, Severus suggested: “It is getting extremely late… perhaps you and your father should get some rest?”  
Lily wasn’t keen and remained stationary in front of Severus’ revived form.  
“Can I come and see you tomorrow?” Lily asked, but she didn’t sound hopeful- in fact, Severus felt she only asked to show Severus just how much she wanted to see him- how much pain he was causing her.  
Severus shook his head. “I think it would be best if you didn’t come and visit me until you have-”  
“But you cannot stop me Severus!” Lily protested, but sounded as though she only half believed it.   
“It is true, you could come to see my portrait and no, I couldn’t stop you. But if you do, I will not be there when you arrive,” Severus replied gently, but firmly.  
Lily looked as if she had been slapped across the face; how could he be so cruel?  
“Then I’m not going to let go of the stone!” she yelled, clenching the black stone tightly in her hand.  
“Lily-” Severus began gently.  
“Dad gets to see you everyday! Why can’t I?” she demanded, interrupting Severus.  
“Because your father is not trying to live in the past. He has moved on and I daresay he will be asking me for advice about the running of Hogwarts,” Severus replied smiling a little, glancing over at Harry briefly before Lily screamed:  
“THAT’S UNFAIR!”   
Severus was taken aback, but kept his ground.  
“I know Lily, but it’s important-”  
“To you maybe!”  
“I’m so sorry-”  
“No you’re not!”  
Severus felt his blood begin to boil- did she really think he took pleasure in this?  
“Do not believe for a second that this is easy for me, Lily,” Severus said through a clenched jaw.  
“WELL THIS MAY BE HARD FOR YOU, BUT THIS FEELS LIKE TORTURE TO ME!” Lily cried hysterically.  
Harry didn’t know what to do. He wanted to comfort his daughter- he could only imagine how hard this would be for her, but at the same time, he knew his daughter would probably push him away if he made the attempt- she seemed beyond consolation.  
“I do not wish to torture you Lily, I am trying to help-”  
“Then help me by letting me do what I want- stop trying to control my life!”  
“I am only doing this because I care for you- I love you-”  
“IF YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH YOU WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEE ME EVERYDAY, EVEN IF IT IS AGAINST YOUR BETTER JUDGEMENT!” Lily shrieked.  
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU EVERYDAY- TALK TO YOU- BE WITH YOU- THIS ISN’T EASY FOR ME EITHER, LILY!” Severus yelled back as he felt tears forming in his eyes.  
“Then make it easier for both of us and let me see you, please!” Lily begged as she fell to the ground and sobbed.  
“I can’t Lily. I know that this will work, and one day you will understand that the only thing that matters is that I am always here if you need me, that the only place you will find me is in your heart, in your memories, in your soul. I am always with you,” Severus reminded her, allowing his tears to fall.  
“Please don’t go,” Lily begged, staring up at Severus, shocked to see that he was crying.  
“I can’t, until you let go of the stone,” Severus said cautiously, wondering if the stone was going to possess Lily as it did him all those years ago.  
Lily looked momentarily at the little stone on her hand and then back up to Severus. Harry was feeling apprehensive, preparing himself to prise the stone out of his daughter’s hands if it came to that, but he truly hoped it wouldn’t.   
“Please let go, Lily,” Severus said gently.  
But Lily was silent, staring avidly at Severus but evidently thinking.  
“I will never leave you. You know where to find me,” Severus continued, hoping it may encourage Lily to let go of the stone. Using his energy to focus his love onto Lily, who jumped a little and gasped as she felt her body- her heart, fill up with Severus’ love- the same love she felt not long before.  
“Please stop,” Lily whispered, for the feeling was overwhelming her.  
Severus and Harry watched as tears fell down Lily’s cheeks and both of them relaxed, believing- hoping that Lily would release the stone.  
Turning away from Severus for a moment, Lily wiped her eyes on her sleeve, then turning back around she whispered:  
“I hate you.” and threw the stone into the forest before she fell to her knees and burst into tears.

Harry walked over to his daughter and bent down to help her up. But Lily didn’t want to move and continued to sob hysterically. Harry had tears in his eyes as he knelt down in front of his daughter and gave her a hug.  
“Why did he do this to me?” Lily asked her father, through her tears.  
“He cares about you. Severus doesn’t want you to suffer for the rest of your life, like he almost did,” Harry tried to explain.  
“I know, but it’s just so hard- I know he is with me, that he loves me, that he will never truly leave, but it’s so harsh- I just miss him. Is that wrong?” Lily asked, her cheeks wet as she pulled away from her father to look into his eyes.  
“No, Lily it isn’t wrong at all. It just makes things that much harder for you, but-” Harry resolved, bringing his daughter close to him once more, “myself, your mother, your brothers and Severus- we are all here for you.”  
Lily managed to stand up and was immediately embraced by her father. Together they stood in the forest for a while thinking about Severus.  
“Did you see my Patronus?”  
“Yes, I did,” Harry said gently. “She’s-”  
“Beautiful,” Lily finished for him, tears pouring down her face.  
“Yes, beautiful,” Harry agreed, nodding his head and kissing his daughter on her forehead as they walked up to the castle together. “Severus never truly left you…”

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Once Lily had calmed down some twenty minutes later, Harry suggested she go home and have a good rest. Lily was too exhausted to argue, so said good night to Dumbledore and her father and disappeared into the fireplace.   
Once she had left, Harry turned to look at Dumbledore, who was smiling at him.  
“She will be okay,” Dumbledore assured his ex- student.  
“I know, but it will be so hard on her and I don’t think it will be easy on Severus either. I never realised their relationship was so strong- Lily’s Patronus- it’s amazing…”  
Dumbledore nodded. “The power of human love, faith and trust is tremendous… they will get through this,” Dumbledore reinforced, surveying Harry over his glasses; clearly the man was very tired.  
“I hope so,” Harry said yawning, as he began to ascend the stairs.  
“Have faith in her strength, Harry,” Dumbledore called gently after him.  
Harry smiled to himself as he continued to his sleeping quarters and collapsed onto his bed.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Severus watched as Lily left him only to be swallowed up by the light that was the after life. But Severus did not feel free and happy like his environment suggested, but a mixture of many things: anger, frustration, guilt… sadness. All Severus could see were Lily’s wet, brown eyes staring so angrily back at him. Severus tried his best to push the image out of his mind, but couldn’t. Why was it so hard to do what was right?  
Sitting down in some place within the dimension he now resided in, Severus dwelled on Lily’s last words to him over and over again: “I hate you.”  
The memory of it made Severus truly upset- he never wanted things to end this way; he wanted to help and now look what he had done.  
“Severus?” a quiet voice came from somewhere behind him, but Severus knew immediately who it was and didn’t bother turning around.  
Receiving no reply, Harry’s mother nevertheless sat down next to her friend and watched his tortured face.  
“Are you okay?” she asked gently, putting an arm around Severus and hugging him close to her. Severus couldn’t speak; he was so deep in thought. But the best thing about the after life is that they had all the time in the world, so Lily waited for Severus to be ready.  
“Lily used the Resurrection Stone,” Severus began in a whisper, tears falling slowly down his face.  
“It didn’t go well?” Lily asked sympathetically.  
Severus shook his head.   
“Did she refuse to let go like you once did?” Lily delved further trying to find out what was so terrible.  
Severus shook his head again.  
“No, she let go,” Severus replied with a sigh of relief.  
“Then what happened?” Lily pressed, interested to find out more.  
“She threw the stone away, but before she did, she said she hates me... What have I done?” Severus asked himself as he stared at the ground.  
“It sounds like she was upset, Severus. I know she doesn’t truly hate you, she couldn’t,” Lily reassured her friend.  
“You don’t even know what I did- what I said-”  
“Well… what did you say?”  
Severus turned to look into Lily’s green eyes.  
“Lily wished to go to Hogwarts every day to visit my portrait. I told her that she shouldn’t because then she will never be able to move on, but she disagreed with me. In the end, I told her that if she did come to Hogwarts to visit me I would intentionally make myself absent.”  
Lily gasped.  
“Please do not tell me I am a terrible person,” Severus whispered, staring at the ground.  
Lily lifted Severus’ face up so that he was looking at her.  
“You are not a terrible person, Severus. But Lily is grieving-”  
“I know! I know! But she will always live in the past if she talks to me everyday. I do not want her to be holding onto me like that, because the reality is that I am dead and no matter how many times she sees me or wishes for me to be alive, it will never happen. Living in the past is not worth the time, the energy, the pain!” Severus protested.  
“And you would know, wouldn’t you?” Lily asked gently, giving Severus a hug.  
Severus hugged her back, relieved that she thought no less of him.  
“I do not want her to suffer like I did. I was trying to protect her but I think the only thing I have done is made her hate me.”  
“She does not hate you Severus; she’s upset-”  
“But you didn’t see the way she looked at me, Lily! I’ve never seen her so angry and disappointed. I feel terrible,” Severus admitted.  
“I remember the night you resurrected me. The last thing I saw was you so upset, angry and traumatized. I knew how much you had already suffered- that life was difficult for you and all I could think was that resurrecting me was the worst thing for you. The stone had control over you and it was scary. I feared that your memories of me would torture you forever. Although you agreed to try to get past your grief and while I trusted you, I was so scared that the rest of your life would be plagued with your past. Until Harry was able to help and succeeded in taking the stone off you, I had to be strong, but the moment you let go, I dropped the façade and before I knew what was happening I found James and was sobbing on his shoulder.” Lily paused and saw that Severus had turned away from her. Resting her hand on Severus’ leg, gaining his attention for a moment, Lily continued.  
“It was only at that moment that I truly realized how much you had suffered because of me. While it is one thing to feel your love and grief- which I have felt since the day I died- it is another to see it and Severus, it was very difficult for me to watch you struggle like that- I wanted so badly for things to be easy for you. I never wanted that for you, I loved you and wanted you to be happy. I told James what happened and admitted to him that I feared you hated me because I forced you to let go- that I couldn’t sacrifice my after life to be with you if that’s what you wanted. After all you had been through, didn’t you deserve at least that? I felt terrible, guilty, sad and worried because unfortunately I was dead and could not do anything to help you. That was what pained me the most. But James calmed me down and you know what he said to me?”   
Severus shook his head, but was intensely curious as to what James would have said.  
“James said to me: ‘Lily, look at what Severus had been through in his life- look at how much he has risked for you, everything that he has suffered and experienced because of his love for you. Severus has loved you his whole life- he won’t stop now’.” Lily recited, smiling.  
“He was right,” Severus reinforced, amazed that James would say something like that.  
“Sev, I know you do not want her to suffer, but no matter what you do, she will suffer either way. I know how difficult it is, it was terrible to watch you everyday being so unhappy and feeling so empty. But I had to have faith that you would get through it without me and you did. Lily is strong, just like you and she will be okay. She has Harry, Ginny and her family to support and love her. She’s not alone, Sev.”  
“I know, but I miss her and I care about her too, but no matter how many times I told her how much she means to me, she couldn’t see nor accept my love through her anger.”  
“But one day she will understand, give her some time,” Lily resolved, rubbing Severus’ back.  
Severus nodded his head and hoped Lily was right.  
“Lily’s Patronus is a doe,” Severus whispered, whilst savouring Lily’s touch.  
Smiling, Lily replied: “And you thought she hated you? Oh Sev,” Lily said, kissing Severus’ forehead as she stood up. “Lily is no different from you. No matter what she says, no matter how much she suffers, she will always love you,” Lily whispered as she squeezed Severus’ hand, stood up and left Severus to dwell on his thoughts a little while longer.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thankfully the following day was a Saturday and even though the students would have been expecting Harry in the Great Hall for breakfast, Harry slept in until 10am.  
After waking and getting dressed, he walked down stairs, hoping to talk to Severus to see if he was okay before having a late breakfast.  
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Severus was not in his portrait. Looking towards Dumbledore, the latter knowing immediately what was on Harry’s mind, said:  
“I have not seen Severus since he left last night,” but didn’t sound at all concerned.  
“Would you be able to look for him, for me? I would really like to speak to him,” Harry asked, knowing that it wouldn’t take Dumbledore long to skirt in and out of the portraits throughout the castle.  
“Certainly,” Dumbledore nodded and disappeared.  
30 seconds later, the man returned, telling Harry that Severus was in an empty classroom on the second floor and did not wish to be disturbed.  
Dwelling on what Dumbledore told him, Harry considered whether or not he should talk to Severus. Perhaps he should just let it be? But at the same time, just as Severus had predicted, he also wanted to know how Lily was this morning.  
“Perhaps I will visit him and if he truly doesn’t want me to be present, I will leave,” Harry thought out loud.  
Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling, and Harry knew he approved.  
Leaving his office, Harry descended the stairs, eventually finding the classroom that Dumbledore had indicated to him.  
Harry slowly opened the classroom door and closed it softly behind him. But no matter how quiet he was, he could not be unnoticed by Severus. Severus was residing in a portrait, whose occupant was currently absent.   
Harry walked up to Severus, eager to determine his expression.  
“Are you okay?” Harry asked quietly.  
“Yes,” Severus replied simply.  
Harry paused. “Why don’t you come back to the office?”  
“I prefer to be alone at the moment,” Severus insisted, staring at Harry, clearly indicating he wanted him to leave. But Harry stood his ground.  
“She doesn’t hate you, Severus,” Harry said gently. “I think you did the right thing,” “She is still horrified by my actions last night and I am beginning to wonder whether I made the right choice,” Severus admitted.  
“So Lily is still upset?”  
“Of course she is still upset!”  
“But she is okay though? Michael is with her right?”  
Severus nodded his head and Harry breathed a sigh of relief; the last thing he wanted was for his daughter to be alone during a time like this.  
“She knows you are trying to protect her, Severus,” Harry continued, in a comforting way.  
“Yeah- well-” Severus said bitterly.  
“I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to do that- to push her away from you- I can tell how much you miss her...”  
Severus nodded at the bottom of the portrait which was covered with dark brown timber.  
“Hey,” Harry said gently in an effort to gain Severus’ attention. Severus looked up and Harry could see he was clearly in pain. “She will be okay.”  
“I know,” Severus whispered. “I just wish I could make it easier for her.”  
“You of all people should know that grief is the hardest, most draining experience that humans are faced with. It was never going to be easy for Lily and it still isn’t, but you can’t change that- you just have to let her be in despair... for a while…”  
Severus was looking at Harry in disbelief.  
“I feel her pain, her despair, it’s not easy for her, but it isn’t easy for me either and the fact she accused me of not-” Severus broke off as if he couldn’t go on any more.  
“Oh Severus, she was upset, she didn’t mean those things,” Harry insisted.  
Severus remained silent.   
“Everything will be okay, Severus. Please come back to your portrait,” Harry requested of him.  
“Perhaps I will later,” Severus replied.  
Taking that as a reasonable answer for now, Harry made his way towards the door.  
“Harry,” Severus said suddenly, causing Harry to jump a little, but spun around eagerly nonetheless, to hear what Severus was going to say.  
“I spoke to your mother last night.”  
Harry was silent for a while.  
“Did that help?” Harry asked, knowing that his mother would have hopefully been able to provide Severus with some comfort.  
Severus nodded.  
“See you soon, Severus,” Harry smiled, glad that his mother was still a part of Severus’ life. Bidding his friend farewell, Harry made his way to the Great Hall for some breakfast.

After brunch, Harry returned to his office, but Severus had not yet returned to his portrait.  
“How is he?” Dumbledore asked.  
“He’s just- I think he is just dwelling on what happened. I feel he will be okay- he said he may come back to his portrait later,” Harry added, looking at Severus’ portrait briefly to find it still empty.  
“What Severus did was very difficult- I am actually quite proud of him,” Dumbledore admitted, smiling a little.  
“Me too,” Harry laughed.  
“It is something I would have done, but for a different reason; not because I loved them but because I knew it was right- not out of passion but due to knowledge.” Dumbledore sighed. “Severus risked everything to show Lily just how much she means to her.”  
“Are you talking about my daughter or my mother?” Harry joked.  
“Both,” Dumbledore replied seriously. “He is a good man- a better man than I ever knew he could be.”  
“Thank you, Albus,” Severus said and Harry laughed as he saw that Severus had returned to his portrait with a small smile on his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

5 years later  
There was a huge celebration occurring in the Great Hall tonight. Like the previous Headmaster, Severus, Harry also received a huge farewell party from Hogwarts as this was going to be his final week as Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
Although Harry had not been headmaster for too long (compared to Severus before him and Dumbledore before that), he had taught at Hogwarts for many years prior and couldn’t quite believe that he was leaving the school again; he was truly going to miss it. Even though he had made a wonderful home at Grimmauld Place, he always remembered how much Hogwarts meant to him as a student- how it was his home away from the Dursleys, so couldn’t help getting a little emotional when his students and staff were telling him that Hogwarts would miss his leadership and presence- he truly hoped they were right.  
But at the same time, amongst the sadness was happiness too. With the best food being served at the tables made by none other than the house elves, and with his family, Ron and Hermione’s family also present, he couldn’t help but be happy that everyone he loved were with him on this day.  
After the formalities of the night had finished, which included Harry’s farewell speech which he spent a week writing, not that he was about to admit that to anyone except Ginny, the students began to disperse to their dormitories or otherwise play games at their house tables. Harry turned to Lily who was sitting on his right.  
“Have you seen him yet?”  
“No,” Lily whispered back so that no one else could hear her. “I couldn’t see him in any of the portraits. I thought he would have come to hear your farewell.”  
Harry nodded. “Me too, but we know he’s here in spirit,” Harry smiled, knowing how true, however clichéd those words were.  
Lily laughed. “Yes, I have no doubt he is here somewhere. Do you think he would be in your office?”  
“Most likely.” But then looking more serious, Harry continued. “I am really proud of you, Lily.”  
Lily smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”  
“You have waited a long time for this,” Harry went on.  
“I know, but at least now I know I am ready,” Lily whispered.  
Harry kissed his daughter and gave her a hug. “The password is ‘Expelliarmus’” Harry whispered into Lily’s ear.  
Lily laughed. “Seriously Dad? ‘Expelliarmus?’”  
Harry laughed with her. “Yes, and don’t laugh at me, that spell was very useful-”  
“Yes Dad, I know the stories,” Lily interrupted, sighing a little as a joke- she was just riling up her father.  
“Off you go,” Harry insisted, laughing as he said so.  
Lily smiled in reply as she made her way to her father’s office and the place she hoped Severus would be waiting for her.

Upon entering the headmaster’s office, Lily closed the door, took a deep breath and walked up to Severus’ portrait.  
Sure enough, Severus was waiting for her and his smile could not be broader.  
“Good evening Lily,” Severus greeted her.  
“Hi Severus,” Lily replied smiling, taking in the appearance of her friend of whom she hadn’t seen in many years.  
“How was the party?”  
“Greatly amusing; Dad wrote a great speech and some of the things said by the students were also truly worth hearing.”  
“I’m glad; Hogwarts will miss him; he has been a great Headmaster.”  
Lily nodded in agreement. “And I know he will miss it too- but I know how much Dad also wants to spend time with us as well, he is getting on in years.”  
“It is wonderful that he wishes to spend more time with you.”  
Lily nodded.  
“How have you been, Lily?” Severus asked, surveying her closely.  
Lily laughed. “Why do you even ask Severus? You and I both know you already know the answer!”  
Severus joined in the laughter.   
“I’m really good,” Lily continued. “Your plan worked!”  
“It wasn’t a plan Lily, I just wanted you to be happy and-”  
“Not make the same mistake you did?” Lily finished in a teasing way.  
“Correct,” Severus replied, inclining his head.  
“Well I’m very happy and seeing you now- I wish I was able to talk to your portrait all those years ago, but I suppose resurrecting you with a Deathly Hallow was enough,” Lily said, with a dreamy sigh.  
“You must have missed me a lot, this portrait is not much to look at,” Severus asserted kindly.  
"Why would I miss someone who's with me wherever I go?" Lily replied with sincere conviction.   
Severus smiled, nodding: "Until the very end, Lily," he whispered, relief, fulfillment and happiness filling him up.   
Lily smiled at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "I know," she whispered. Sniffling a little, Lily wiped her eyes; she was delighted to see him after so long, but emotional too.   
"I should probably tell Dad I found you; we weren't sure if you would be up here or not," Lily said, forcing herself to regain composure as she turned away from the portrait and whipped out her wand.   
"Expecto Patronum!" Lily cried as she watched her Tigress leave the room with a smile on her face.   
"I knew you had the courage, Lily," Severus whispered, smiling at Lily and her Patronus.   
Lily spun around. "Thank you for having faith in me, Severus."   
"I've always had faith in you since you were a young girl."   
"I know," Lily admitted.   
"And thank you for trusting me; I know it was difficult for you originally..." Severus continued.   
Lily smiled and looked into her friend's eyes. "I've trusted you ever since the day Greyback sought to impersonate you; it was just a little harder that day in the forest..."   
Both Lily and Severus reflected on those memories, not quite believing everything they as well as Albus, James, Ginny and Harry had experienced together. But before they could continue with any further conversation they were bombarded with an army of people who entered Harry's office- the Potters and the Weasleys, intending to continue their celebrations away from the students who should be getting some rest.   
Everyone continued to celebrate deep into the night so Lily and Severus did not have the opportunity to talk again. But it didn't matter; Lily knew where to find Severus if she ever needed him...  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


End file.
